i wish i were a better person

[kurosh]

i mean... i'm an ok person. i'm smart and that's more than most people can say. i'm too cold sometimes. i'm arrogant sometimes too. why is that a bad thing? people don't like it so that makes it bad? i lack motivation.. or care? i don't care enough - about anything. they always say to me, they ALWAYS say to me, "kurosh, you have this gift, you have to use it. it's not fair to the rest of society." i always used to say [censored]'em. i don't owe [censored] to society. society is [censored]. if i want to sit in my room and leech off the dredges of society to make money, i will. it's an easy way of making money. the opportunity is there. i can't pass it up. i'm very smart. i know that. what does smart get you? i don't use it. it is slowly turning to mush. i can feel it. i could probably whip it back into shape but it's mush for now and the pot doesn't help. i can feel that [censored] in my brain making me dumber for a day. for a week i'm slightly dumber, but functional. i need to stop but that brings me to my second point.

i'm crazy. i'm absolutely insane. i lack discipline. my emotions are wild and out of control. ask that crazy jeni, who i know will be reading this because she reads all of my posts. go ahead, post here, tell them. all the posts about groundhog day made me watch the movie and it inspired me. you know what i do if i were him? i would sit on my ass. i wouldn't get out of bed. i would waste away and be depressed. how can i do that? not anymore. i need to be better. i need discipline. i need to [censored] use this crazy machine on my head. starting tomorrow, no more drugs, no more girls, no more touching myself, no more tilt, no more wasting time, i am a machine. i have a pile of books in my room i need to read. i will read them and i will learn. i spend so much SO GOD DAMN MUCH of my time and mental effort on that stupid girl. so much frustration and so much wasted time and so much so so much destruction and waste. sometimes i think i should castrate myself. my life would be easier. i could spend my time on things that matter. who needs sex for love? no more sex for me.

but for tonight? i drink izze and listen to nickel creek.

[jakethebake]

Please save the uninteresting posts like this for your Blog.

[edfurlong]

I was with you until the no touching yourself nonsense.

[kurosh]

do you still read my blog you bastard?
it's not for you
it's for me

[LethalRose]

hear hear!

so basically you're going to ditch poker and girls and graduate college?

[jakethebake]

[ QUOTE ]
do you still read my blog you bastard

[/ QUOTE ]

actually no. i havent looked except that one time. if it's for you, why do you need to post it? i know what i think. it seems pretty redundant to type it out and put it on the internet.

[kurosh]

i have bad memory. to remind self. it also helps to write things down to clear thoughts and organize. ever typed out a letter or email to someone else and it made you feel better? i dont care if random people read. i dont want people in my life reading it. it makes me uncomfortable if someone i know reads it.

[A_C_Slater]

[ QUOTE ]
I was with you until the castration nonsense.

[/ QUOTE ]


FYP

[kurosh]

come on. seriously, how much time do you guys waste watching porn and touching yourself alone? now how much time do you waste chasing girls and [censored] girls? NOW, how much time do you waste thinking about them and talking about them when they aren't even around? jesus christ, that's so much wasted time. i could make a banana in that amount of time.

[A_C_Slater]

[ QUOTE ]
come on. seriously, how much time do you guys waste watching porn and touching yourself alone? now how much time do you waste chasing girls and [censored] girls? NOW, how much time do you waste thinking about them and talking about them when they aren't even around? jesus christ, that's so much wasted time. i could make a banana in that amount of time.

[/ QUOTE ]


So you'd rather have more money than a penis?

[kurosh]

i didn't say [censored] about money! there are more important things. i could be learning math. math is more improtant. whatever leads to happiness is most important - both yours and other people's.

[wacki]

[ QUOTE ]
i'm very smart.

[/ QUOTE ]

[ QUOTE ]
i have bad memory.

[/ QUOTE ]

[A_C_Slater]

What did you mean by making a banana then?

Can you explain how math is more important than money?

[tdarko]

[ QUOTE ]
all the posts about groundhog day made me watch the movie and it inspired me. you know what i do if i were him? i would sit on my ass. i wouldn't get out of bed

[/ QUOTE ]
you don't need groundhog day to do that.

anyway, don't let a girl ruin your outlook. if you are happy not doing [censored] and making money playing good poker and this girl is making you not want sex? not want to be the person that made you successful? then that is just bullshit and kick her ass to the curb.

we all have quirks about us that are different it's those that can use those to their advantage that end up happy/succesful etc.

[kurosh]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
i'm very smart.

[/ QUOTE ]

[ QUOTE ]
i have bad memory.

[/ QUOTE ]

[/ QUOTE ]intelligence!=memory i am forgetful. but i can cram like a motherfucker or if someone gives a lecture and i pay attention, i will know all of it.

[kurosh]

[ QUOTE ]
What did you mean by making a banana then?

Can you explain how math is more important than money?

[/ QUOTE ]making a banana would take a lot of time, yes?

because i like math. it makes me happy and applies to all aspects of life. there are 3 points of money. you hit a point where you are comfortable, then you hit a point where you can buy all the little gadgets you want, then there's a huge gap and you hit the point where you can buy a lambourghini and a mansion. once you hit that second point, it doesn't really matter.

[Mat Sklansky]

I was going to respond, but irealize i've had too much to drink. perhaps there's a lesson here? Idon't know for sure, I'm a little buzzed.

I'll still take on any racist scumbag that wants to come at me tonight , however.

[kurosh]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
all the posts about groundhog day made me watch the movie and it inspired me. you know what i do if i were him? i would sit on my ass. i wouldn't get out of bed

[/ QUOTE ]
you don't need groundhog day to do that.

anyway, don't let a girl ruin your outlook. if you are happy not doing [censored] and making money playing good poker and this girl is making you not want sex? not want to be the person that made you successful? then that is just bullshit and kick her ass to the curb.

we all have quirks about us that are different it's those that can use those to their advantage that end up happy/succesful etc.

[/ QUOTE ]wtf? this isn't about a girl. i'm just saying, i waste tons of time on various girls. there are better things in life. i should learn more things and spend my time productively.

[kurosh]

mat, i was thinking today. i don't know if i'm racist. if i see a random black person, i'm going to think they're more likely to be a criminal or stupid than a random white person. is that racist? i don't think it's because of their race. it's because of their socioeconomic status and statistically, more of them will be that way. i dont treat them any differently.

[smokingrobot]

i dont think they are opposing statements.

[MyTurn2Raise]

learn to masturbate better...it's a goal

[tdarko]

[ QUOTE ]
i spend so much SO GOD DAMN MUCH of my time and mental effort on that stupid girl. so much frustration and so much wasted time and so much so so much destruction and waste. sometimes i think i should castrate myself. my life would be easier. i could spend my time on things that matter. who needs sex for love? no more sex for me.


[/ QUOTE ]
throughout this post you mention "her" a lot, i don't know you but when i read that it automatically makes me think that she could be at least some of the problem.

personally if its work with a girl then its not for me and this is what you make it sound like.

[Mat Sklansky]

I wasn't referring to you as a racist. I think that you can't get away from some unfortunate stats based on history and current poverty.

I was responding to your almost certain hyper-emotional state of mind exacerbated by some form of drug. And I simply wonder, is this where you really want to bare your soul?

If my hypothesis is correct, you are in no state of mind to answer.

[wheelz]

someone is stoned

[kurosh]

[ QUOTE ]
I wasn't referring to you as a racist. I think that you can't get away from some unfortunate stats based on history and current poverty.

I was responding to your almost certain hyper-emotional state of mind exacerbated by some form of drug. And I simply wonder, is this where you really want to bare your soul?

If my hypothesis is correct, you are in no state of mind to answer.

[/ QUOTE ]did you actually drink or was that just for me? i'm not really baring my soul. just talking about what i want to do. i am much more complex.

[newfant]

[ QUOTE ]
i am much more complex.

[/ QUOTE ]

So in addition to being a eunoch you also have a vagina?

[Mat Sklansky]

Of course I drank. I never lie. But something's going on. Why are you feeling the need to express the dichotomy of emptiness and arrogance? And why on oot? It's certainly OK. Perhaps I've got a bit of mother hen syndrome.

[kurosh]

i told you. i saw groundhog day and decided to make a resolution. i wanted to announce it. i don't know any other big public places to announce it.

[touchfaith]

[ QUOTE ]
i mean... i'm an ok person. i'm smart and that's more than most people can say. i'm too cold sometimes. i'm arrogant sometimes too. why is that a bad thing? people don't like it so that makes it bad? i lack motivation.. or care? i don't care enough - about anything. they always say to me, they ALWAYS say to me, "kurosh, you have this gift, you have to use it. it's not fair to the rest of society." i always used to say [censored]'em. i don't owe [censored] to society. society is [censored]. if i want to sit in my room and leech off the dredges of society to make money, i will. it's an easy way of making money. the opportunity is there. i can't pass it up. i'm very smart. i know that. what does smart get you? i don't use it. it is slowly turning to mush. i can feel it. i could probably whip it back into shape but it's mush for now and the pot doesn't help. i can feel that [censored] in my brain making me dumber for a day. for a week i'm slightly dumber, but functional. i need to stop but that brings me to my second point.

i'm crazy. i'm absolutely insane. i lack discipline. my emotions are wild and out of control. ask that crazy jeni, who i know will be reading this because she reads all of my posts. go ahead, post here, tell them. all the posts about groundhog day made me watch the movie and it inspired me. you know what i do if i were him? i would sit on my ass. i wouldn't get out of bed. i would waste away and be depressed. how can i do that? not anymore. i need to be better. i need discipline. i need to [censored] use this crazy machine on my head. starting tomorrow, no more drugs, no more girls, no more touching myself, no more tilt, no more wasting time, i am a machine. i have a pile of books in my room i need to read. i will read them and i will learn. i spend so much SO GOD DAMN MUCH of my time and mental effort on that stupid girl. so much frustration and so much wasted time and so much so so much destruction and waste. sometimes i think i should castrate myself. my life would be easier. i could spend my time on things that matter. who needs sex for love? no more sex for me.

but for tonight? i drink izze and listen to nickel creek.

[/ QUOTE ]

This ain't bad. I could fix this. If asked.

[jakethebake]

Oh boy. ThinMan and kurosh,,, This should be good.

[kurosh]

[ QUOTE ]
Oh boy. ThinMan and kurosh,,, This should be good.

[/ QUOTE ]wtf jake? i thought you liked me and didn't like thinman.

[kurosh]

i dont know what you mean. i'm fixing it.

[touchfaith]

[ QUOTE ]
i dont know what you mean. i'm fixing it.

[/ QUOTE ]

My fix allows you to sit on your ass. Sounds better huh.

[Eurotrash]

[ QUOTE ]
I was going to respond, but irealize i've had too much to drink. perhaps there's a lesson here? Idon't know for sure, I'm a little buzzed.

I'll still take on any racist scumbag that wants to come at me tonight , however.

[/ QUOTE ]



http://img389.imageshack.us/img389/2523/ytmnd9xq.jpg

[kurosh]

what is it?

[ QUOTE ]
i wish i were a better person

[/ QUOTE ]

it's this endless charade that keeps us enslaved

[touchfaith]

[ QUOTE ]
what is it?

[/ QUOTE ]

They all come crawling back to the wisdom tree...



add to cart (http://soundtherapyinternational.com/ecom/customer/product.php?productid=16222&cat=&page=)

[kurosh]

wtf? you're such a moron. you wasted 3 posts for that? why didn't you just say it in the first one? and no, you missed my point.

[JaBlue]

how many roads must a man walk down
before ya call him a man?
how many seas must the white dove sail
before she sleeps in the sand?
how many times must the cannonballs fly
before they smotehing in a band
the answer, my friend, is blowing in the wind
the answer is blowing in the wind

[touchfaith]

You saw the part about it being only AU$ 24.95 right?

[Mat Sklansky]

Now that I've been dragged into this, I want to know whatyou are actually trying to accomplish. I don't accept that Bill Murray has inspired you to seek vague responses on an internet forum. I want something , forgive me, more "complex". Why are you talking to thinman? I have a bit of a softspot for the thinman, but he's not known for his sensitivity training.

[kurosh]

i'm not looking for responses. i was just making an announcement. maybe inspire others? i outlined exactly what i will do. no sex, no drugs, no touching self. i will spend time doing productive things. my brain will become smarter.

i don't like how i am now. it makes me sad to think about it. it's a waste. i could do so many things, but i don't use my mind. i want to use it.

[Mat Sklansky]

You feel the need to tell us that you won't touch yourself?

Btw, i did not lie when I said I wouldn't post anymore tonight. I was mistaken. I do believe there is a difference.

Now, back to you Kurosh: the very best thing that any human being can do for themselves is to play with themselves.

What kind of ascetism are you trying to push, and why?

[touchfaith]

I knew I should have gone with the Aromatherapy

http://rds.yahoo.com/S=96062883/K=aromatherapy/v=2/SID=w/l=IVI/SIG=12jevf7eo/EXP=1125822344/*-http%3A//www.ronnieallan.com/photos/aromatherapy_oils_at_home.jpg

Essential oils are your friend

[newfant]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]


what is it?


[/ QUOTE ]


They all come crawling back to the wisdom tree...



add to cart

[/ QUOTE ]

I thought you were going to have kurosh sit on your lap.

[pearljam]

Being castrated wouldnt be so bad, I think I would miss sex alot and also be very sad that I could never have a family,however I would rather have been born without a sex organ then with one. Sex is not crucial to love and I also know I could make enough money to be comfortable for the rest of my life if I had a few no distraction years to work on it.

[kurosh]

[ QUOTE ]
You feel the need to tell us that you won't touch yourself?

Btw, i did not lie when I said I wouldn't post anymore tonight. I was mistaken. I do believe there is a difference.

Now, back to you Kurosh: the very best thing that any human being can do for themselves is to play with themselves.

What kind of ascetism are you trying to push, and why?

[/ QUOTE ]yes, i felt the need to say that. i think it will help build my discipline. it's also a waste of time. if i can be fine without doing it, then i want to. i could probably have an extra hour free every day if i didn't whack it.

[Mat Sklansky]

I have never, as a single man, denied myself the therapy of whacking. It is this liberal mindset, I believe, which kept me from falling in "love" with the first available ho and led me into the best relationship of my life. And now, for the sake of visual aesthetics, sometimes, I refrain from a well deserved whacking.

[irishpint]

</font><blockquote><font class="small">En respuesta a:</font><hr />
</font><blockquote><font class="small">En respuesta a:</font><hr />
i'm very smart.

[/ QUOTE ]

</font><blockquote><font class="small">En respuesta a:</font><hr />
i have bad memory.

[/ QUOTE ]

[/ QUOTE ]

if you were smart you'd know that this is possible, likely and they are not dependant on one another. no post hoc ergo proctor hock or whatever here, boyeee.

[Ulysses]

[ QUOTE ]
i could probably have an extra hour free every day if i didn't whack it.

[/ QUOTE ]

How many times a day do you whack it?

[irishpint]

also...the fact that you wack it for an hour a day and are willing to give up sex = you were never having sex in the first place. loser.

[KaneKungFu123]

not jerking is good.

no sex is just lame.

No sex will make you go crazy. Really really crazy.
Anyways you should dump that bitch, she was never good for you anyways.

[BusterStacks]

I think you're a god damn idiot and an attention whore. If you have to say that you are insane, you aren't. I'm glad you made a little money playing poker, but that's all you have to your name. Your posts are not interesting and you have the mindset of a gradeschooler who just saw Fight Club. I hope you get the [censored] beat out of very soon, perhaps it would put things into perspective for you, but even if it didn't, I'd still be in favor of it.

[Sponger15SB]

http://www.waterstonecoasters.com/images/Inspirational/12.jpg


I think that you should visit your local church, many people are willing to help you there.

[SpicyF]

[ QUOTE ]
I think you're a god damn idiot and an attention whore. If you have to say that you are insane, you aren't. I'm glad you made a little money playing poker, but that's all you have to your name. Your posts are not interesting and you have the mindset of a gradeschooler who just saw Fight Club. I hope you get the [censored] beat out of very soon, perhaps it would put things into perspective for you, but even if it didn't, I'd still be in favor of it.

[/ QUOTE ]

[KaneKungFu123]

here is buster, trying his hardest to be witty, again.

[ChipWrecked]

You just need to get over yourself. Do some volunteer work at an old folks' home or something. Direct that mighty intelligence toward the betterment of humanity.

The number of 'I's and 'me's in your posts is mind-boggling.

[peachy]

u woulda been better off postin this in the psych forum that said.....

u r no different than 85% of the "American" population, living in this country puts people in a bubble, they are lazy and self centered. Don't get me wrong I love living here, but I dont become what it makes most people.

That said, u want to change all these things sure, but change, especailly after 16 to 18 years old...let alone older...is beyond extremely hard...something major has to happen to u. Its good u want to change but the thing is most people dont remember that "feeling" that made them want to change days from now let alone months from now.

Ur 1st steps would be picking up other hobbies, humbling urself (volunteer work, travel to a 3rd world country, hell help an old lady with her bags), etc. all of which get u out of ur house and out of ur element to some degree. And realize its gonna take a long time and alot of mental effort b/c most give up fast cause they dont see changes fast enough. Behaviors/habits/personality doesnt change over night IF ever, we r born with temperments that make us who we are, u have to learn to control thouse before u can change the behaviors they cause.

Relax...(go to the mountains for a few days, the beach alone, get a massage, etc) get ur thoughts together and then get ur lame (according to u) life together




PS: sex is a natural thing...as long as u have the right mind set it cant hurt u (well of course besides diseases) /images/graemlins/tongue.gif Not having sex could cause a bigger mental problem for some people...im not sayin do everything that walks on 4 legs...but some sex isnt a bad thing

and ill lay any amount of money on that u wont be jerking it...be realisitic with ur goals or u wont ever even reach the larger ones u wanna accomplish...

Past all this i cant give much more advice i know nothing about u...age, if u went to school, if u live with ur parents, etc.

If u think ur intelligent then get it together....

[STLantny]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I think you're a god damn idiot and an attention whore. If you have to say that you are insane, you aren't. I'm glad you made a little money playing poker, but that's all you have to your name. Your posts are not interesting and you have the mindset of a gradeschooler who just saw Fight Club. I hope you get the [censored] beat out of very soon, perhaps it would put things into perspective for you, but even if it didn't, I'd still be in favor of it.

[/ QUOTE ]

[/ QUOTE ]

[einbert]

[ QUOTE ]
here is buster, trying his hardest to be witty, again.

[/ QUOTE ]

[Sponger15SB]

[ QUOTE ]
u r no different than 85% of the "American" population, living in this country puts people in a bubble, they are lazy and self centered. Don't get me wrong I love living here, but I dont become what it makes most people.

[/ QUOTE ]

C'mon, I know you just went on some long trip to like guatemala or something so you'd hopefully have some good perspective on life, but you don't expect us to actually believe this.

[Alobar]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
here is buster, trying his hardest to be witty, again.

[/ QUOTE ]

[/ QUOTE ]

[peachy]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
u r no different than 85% of the "American" population, living in this country puts people in a bubble, they are lazy and self centered. Don't get me wrong I love living here, but I dont become what it makes most people.

[/ QUOTE ]

C'mon, I know you just went on some long trip to like guatemala or something so you'd hopefully have some good perspective on life, but you don't expect us to actually believe this.

[/ QUOTE ]

Ive always thought this, my family is in politics so its probably amplified on top of the fact that i work in psychology /images/graemlins/laugh.gif But to some degree yes i do believe this, most of this nation is very self absorbed, its very dog eat dog, but its a corp. world out there - so everyones gotta do what they can, Im not saying its bad all the time, but it leaves people very little time to be anything but self centered, but self preservation is an instinct that fuels it im sure.

The trips i take dont change my vaules or what i was already doing in my life here, although i am sure they would change some people like KUROSH alot (people who arent happy, lost, etc)

So dont think im up on some high horse here...im just tryin to help...

[ChipWrecked]

[ QUOTE ]
&lt;snip rambling, self-centered horseshit&gt;


.... starting tomorrow, ....



[/ QUOTE ]



Well?

[kurosh]

First, sorry. I do/say stupid things when I'm stoned. I guess the tone of the seems depressive? That wasn't my intention. I was feeling more resolved to do something.

I whack it at least once a day, usually twice, rarely three times.

Believe it or not, I am not a virgin.

Buster, you're a douche.

[ QUOTE ]
Direct that mighty intelligence toward the betterment of humanity.

[/ QUOTE ]
That's the point and my goal.

Don't get me wrong. I'm reasonably happy. I'm just not satisfied with myself. I don't think I've accomplished anything. I waste a lot of time. This is cliche, but I don't want to look back in 10 years and not be happy with what I've done.

[gorie]

[ QUOTE ]
Don't get me wrong. I'm reasonably happy. I'm just not satisfied with myself. I don't think I've accomplished anything. I waste a lot of time. This is cliche, but I don't want to look back in 10 years and not be happy with what I've done.

[/ QUOTE ]
so you will be happy looking back in 10 years , realizing you spent the last 10 years of your life locked in your room being a book reading robot ? this will make you happy and feel you spent your time wisely ?

[ChipWrecked]

One step at a time. Start by volunteering a couple hours a week. Hospital, old folks, homeless shelters, anything. Once you get in the habit, you will naturally steer toward activities that use your talents. But you have to DO SOMETHING. Right now.

I mention the old folks because that's what I did when I was single. First, by order of the county for 20 hours (heh). But I liked it, and I stayed. You read the paper out loud, call bingo, push them around in the fresh air and so on. They get a kick out of it. And so will you, when you see that little things you can do make other people happy.

If you continue to sit in your room pulling your pud, you will end up an even bigger douche than you are afraid of becoming.

I hear you, I've been there. Still working on it.

Maybe you need some organization. Think about what you want to accomplish in next week, in a month, in a year. Some short and long term goals. Start small, make a list of things to do today. "Read 20 pages of X", "write 1 page of notes on Y", "do Z for 30min", etc.

For this to work you need reinforcement. Maybe a small notebook, something that fits in the back pocket - screw those dayplanners. 3x5 index cards are good too. As long as it is something you will use *daily*. Any system is good as long as you use it daily.

Also check out http://www.supermemo.com/

Asceticism is for those who cast away life. Wack away. (But schedule time for it.)

[chesspain]

[ QUOTE ]
i don't owe [censored] to society.

[/ QUOTE ]

[ QUOTE ]
sometimes i think i should castrate myself.

[/ QUOTE ]

Sounds like you already are beginning to think about what's best for society.

[celaeno]

[ QUOTE ]
i'm crazy. i'm absolutely insane. i lack discipline. my emotions are wild and out of control. ask that crazy jeni, who i know will be reading this because she reads all of my posts. go ahead, post here, tell them.

[/ QUOTE ]

I don't spend all my time reading your posts, but I check up on you occasionally. I kinda figured you did the same with SBB and my lj since you've posted to both before.

I don't think you're crazy. Emotional maybe, but Christ, this post looks just like something I would write. Self-improvement is a wonderful goal, but you know you don't have to do it alone. People like us make goals and break them in a week or two or maybe a month because the temptation of self-indulgence is just so damn alluring. I don't want that to happen to you, and I don't want it to happen to me either.

I would give anything if I thought it would help you to be happy and satisfied with life. I just kind of wish you'd let me be a part of it...

[James282]

[ QUOTE ]
i have bad memory. to remind self. it also helps to write things down to clear thoughts and organize. ever typed out a letter or email to someone else and it made you feel better? i dont care if random people read. i dont want people in my life reading it. it makes me uncomfortable if someone i know reads it.

[/ QUOTE ]

Then try using a word document.
-James

[touchfaith]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
i'm crazy. i'm absolutely insane. i lack discipline. my emotions are wild and out of control. ask that crazy jeni, who i know will be reading this because she reads all of my posts. go ahead, post here, tell them.

[/ QUOTE ]

I don't spend all my time reading your posts, but I check up on you occasionally. I kinda figured you did the same with SBB and my lj since you've posted to both before.

I don't think you're crazy. Emotional maybe, but Christ, this post looks just like something I would write. Self-improvement is a wonderful goal, but you know you don't have to do it alone. People like us make goals and break them in a week or two or maybe a month because the temptation of self-indulgence is just so damn alluring. I don't want that to happen to you, and I don't want it to happen to me either.

I would give anything if I thought it would help you to be happy and satisfied with life. I just kind of wish you'd let me be a part of it...

[/ QUOTE ]


Pssss, dude...she's reaching out to you.

Take the opportunity to make things right.

I've all but blown a recent opportunity. Trust me, you don't want to do the same.

[zephed]

[ QUOTE ]
no more touching myself.

[/ QUOTE ]
C'mon, make some goals that are actually attainable. Yer setting yourself up for failure.