Dear Bison: September 2005

[bisonbison]

Y'all know the drill. I am an internet celebrity and many of you are febrile gambling junkies with the life wisdom of fruit flies.

Ask me a question in the form of 'Dear Bison,' and, so long as it is not idiotic, I will do my best to respond with the kind of concentrated insight most often found when waking up soaked in someone else's blood.

[Broken Glass Can]

Dear Bison,

I am standing on Bourbon Street and my knees are wet. What should I do?

[miajag81]

Dear Bison,

Who's going to win the Super Bowl?

[InchoateHand]

Dear Bison,

My mediocrity is very accomplished in many realms, including my poker playing. However I have found that I truly excel at being a drunken tiltmonkey, burning through impressive hunks of cash during allnighter sessions fueled by drugs and alcohol.

Should I quit my gambling to focus on my drinking? Sometimes I feel like I'm being pulled everywhichway, and I just don't know what to do. Other times, in moments of clarity, I think my true calling may be to lie in a gutter somewhere and mumble racial epithets at passerbys.

What do you suggest? If I should pursue the latter, do you think I could find a mentor or a coach?

Thank you, you've been so very, very kind.

[mslif]

Where is BigSteve?

[bisonbison]

Dear mia,

I like LA's chances this year.

[sfer]

Dear Bison,

Why didn't you come to Bay 101 on Sunday?

Wendell

[ChristinaB]

[ QUOTE ]
Dear Bison,

I am standing on Bourbon Street and my knees are wet. What should I do?

[/ QUOTE ]

Lie down flat on your back and ignore the sensation of water filling your lungs.

[touchfaith]

Dear Bison,

Can you turn back the clock 1 week for me?

[miajag81]

[ QUOTE ]
Dear mia,

I like LA's chances this year.

[/ QUOTE ]

Eh, they're a little thin on defense.

[jakethebake]

[ QUOTE ]
Dear Bison,

Can you turn back the clock 1 week for me?

[/ QUOTE ]

Of course he can. He's Google. But will he...?

[Freakin]

Dear Bison,

I want to work for a company like Google. Where should I be building my experience? I think one place I am lacking is my linux/unix experience--what tasks should I take on to build my knowledge?

Freakin

[bisonbison]

Wendell,

It was nothing to do with sfer. I should have called though.

I love you mr. wendell.

Bison.

[bisonbison]

Inchoate,

Alcoholism is like masturbation - if you can't figure it out for yourself, you'll never enjoy it anyways.

[bisonbison]

Dear mslif,

It takes work to maintain that wardrobe.

[Broken Glass Can]

Dear Bison,

When I do a Google search on my user name, I do not like the order of the hits I get. How can I change this?

[bisonbison]

Dear Thinman,

No.

[samjjones]

Dear Bison - my wife left this morning on a cross country flight with one of her girlfriends. She will not be back until Tuesday. This is the first time in the 1 1/2 years since we've been married that we've been apart more than a day. I am 30 years old and live in NJ. What should I do this weekend?

[jdl22]

dear bison,

how funny did you find this the onion article (http://www.theonion.com/content/node/40076)?

[MarkL444]

[ QUOTE ]
Dear Bison - my wife left this morning on a cross country flight with one of her girlfriends. She will not be back until Tuesday. This is the first time in the 1 1/2 years since we've been married that we've been apart more than a day. I am 30 years old and live in NJ. What should I do this weekend?

[/ QUOTE ]

gay porn, man. gay porn.

[jakethebake]

[ QUOTE ]
Dear Bison - my wife left this morning on a cross country flight with one of her girlfriends. She will not be back until Tuesday. This is the first time in the 1 1/2 years since we've been married that we've been apart more than a day. I am 30 years old and live in NJ. What should I do this weekend?

[/ QUOTE ]

Vegas, Baby!

[M2d]

Dear Bison. this upcoming weekend, rockfishing should be pretty good, but I've been doing that a lot lately. halibut will be hit or miss, but I haven't caught a halibut in a year (haven't targeted them) and would be a nice change of pace. striped bass can be absolutely cold, but can turn red hot in an instant if a school rolls in, and they're fun to catch.
the tide will be good for either of these options, driving distances and time invested are similar, and the food value of each is pretty much equal.

which kind of fishing should I do.

[Edge34]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Dear Bison - my wife left this morning on a cross country flight with one of her girlfriends. She will not be back until Tuesday. This is the first time in the 1 1/2 years since we've been married that we've been apart more than a day. I am 30 years old and live in NJ. What should I do this weekend?

[/ QUOTE ]

Vegas, Baby!

[/ QUOTE ]

Or AC at the very least, hell it can't be that far. Coke binge anyone? /images/graemlins/cool.gif

[RunDownHouse]

Dear Bison:

At 6AM on a sunday morning my friend John's cell phone rings. He rolls out of bed with his girlfriend to go answer it. It's his friend Jessica (female). She is flying back from NY and has called everyone she knows trying to get a ride home from the airport but no one can get her. John is her last hope. "Can you pick me up from the airport today at 5PM." He thinks about it and knows that his girlfriend will be at work at this time and say "No problem, see you at 5." Climbs back into bed and tries to cuddle with his girlfriend only to get the cold shoulder. She is very upset with him because he didn't consult her before commiting to going to the airport.

I've told this story to a number of friends and was shocked at the responses gathered. The majority of my married friends responded with "Oh yeah, John screwed up. He needs to ask first before doing that kind of stuff." My single friends said "His girlfriend is over bearing. Why is she so insecure it's just a friend at the airport."

So my question to you is. When a couple gets married do they lose all ability to do things on there own? Must they now ask permission to breathe?

[TheMainEvent]

Dear Bison,

I recently graduated college and I'm living at home with the parents right now. I don't have a "real job" yet and I'm faced with the decision to either get an apartment I can barely afford or live at home and have no (0) life, but save up some money. Help?

[tbach24]

Dear Bison,

In this thread (http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/showflat.php?Cat=&Board=exchange&Number=3267777&Fo rum=f20&Words=skool&Searchpage=0&Limit=25&Main=326 7777&Search=true&where=sub&Name=24084&daterange=1& newerval=1&newertype=w&olderval=&oldertype=&bodypr ev=#Post3267777), I asked what computer would be good for me. Durron suggested a Dimension 3000 and that looks like a perfect computer, however the school I'm going to is hooked up with a site (www.it.govconnection.com [it's a private access site]) and if I order through this site they will deliver it to the school, the computer guys at the school will do all the things to get it ready for the school year, and I'll never have to pay to get it fixed during my 2 year stint there. However, they don't have the Dimension 3000 or any Dell product on that site. Therefore, since I'm really bad at computers, I won't know what to get if I use their site. However, if I go with Dell, I'd have to wait in line and have them fix it up after pretty much everyone else in the entire school. All my friends who know stuff about computers are gone away to college so I might have trouble trying to ask them for help with what computer to get from the it.govconnection site.

So should I go with the Dell or the other one?

[cold_cash]

Dear Bison,

I recently downloaded and installed the Google Talk instant messenger thingy, and while I guess it's cool I'm not really sure what all the excitement is about.

Could you tell me why it kicks so much ass? I'm afraid I'm doing it wrong.

[joeski19]

Dear Bison,

If I melt Dry ice into a swimming pool can I go swimming with out getting wet?

If I'm traveling at light speed, and I turn on the headlights what would happen?

Thanks

[Sponger15SB]

[ QUOTE ]
If I melt Dry ice into a swimming pool can I go swimming with out getting wet?

[/ QUOTE ]

Please tell me you're not serious. First dry ice isn't frozen water, and second uh... when it "melts" it turns into a gas.

[ QUOTE ]

If I'm traveling at light speed, and I turn on the headlights what would happen?

[/ QUOTE ]

http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a3_143.html

[eckoo]

Dear Bison,

Where do you get your motiviation to strive in life?

[lighterjobs]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
If I melt Dry ice into a swimming pool can I go swimming with out getting wet?

[/ QUOTE ]

Please tell me you're not serious. First dry ice isn't frozen water, and second uh... when it "melts" it turns into a gas.

[/ QUOTE ]

he was so serious

[jakethebake]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
If I melt Dry ice into a swimming pool can I go swimming with out getting wet?

[/ QUOTE ]

Please tell me you're not serious. First dry ice isn't frozen water, and second uh... when it "melts" it turns into a gas.

[/ QUOTE ]
he was so serious

[/ QUOTE ]

He was so not serious.

[joeski19]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
If I melt Dry ice into a swimming pool can I go swimming with out getting wet?

[/ QUOTE ]

Please tell me you're not serious. First dry ice isn't frozen water, and second uh... when it "melts" it turns into a gas.

[/ QUOTE ]
he was so serious

[/ QUOTE ]

He was so not serious.

[/ QUOTE ]

Everyone turn on your sarcasm detectors!

[jakethebake]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
If I melt Dry ice into a swimming pool can I go swimming with out getting wet?

[/ QUOTE ]

Please tell me you're not serious. First dry ice isn't frozen water, and second uh... when it "melts" it turns into a gas.

[/ QUOTE ]
he was so serious

[/ QUOTE ]

He was so not serious.

[/ QUOTE ]

Everyone turn on your sarcasm detectors!

[/ QUOTE ]

Damn! We only got four out before someone ruined it! /images/graemlins/mad.gif

[bisonbison]

Dear Sam,

I assume you have friends. See them.

[bisonbison]

Dear JDL,

how funny did you find this the onion article?

It was pretty typical Onion fare - that's a nice idea, but I'm tired now and I'll read the article later. And then I do read it later and am pleasantly but never dangerously entertained.

[bisonbison]

Dear M2d,

Flip a coin.

[bisonbison]

When a couple gets married do they lose all ability to do things on there own?

No.

Must they now ask permission to breathe?

No.

John's wife is clearly annoyed about some sort of perceived general trend. It would help him if she communicated that. It would help her feel better/more appreciated if he asked.

[Heimdal]

Dear Bison

I like to register to the $1.2 SNG’s/tournaments on Pokerstars. Then I play bad poker while I write bad things in the chat to the other players on the table. I act like a complete jerk and do the best I can to insult the other players. It makes me feel better. This is strange because I am normally a very nice guy (I hope).


Why do I do this? Is it ok if I keep doing this?

[bisonbison]

Dear tbach,

Get the one you think is nifty. Make friends who can help you fix it.

[bisonbison]

Dear Cash,

It offers high quality voice over IP. Compared to other chat-only IM clients, it is currently pretty feature-poor, but that will change.

[jakethebake]

[ QUOTE ]
Dear Bison

I like to register to the $1.2 SNG’s/tournaments on Pokerstars. Then I play bad poker while I write bad things in the chat to the other players on the table. I act like a complete jerk and do the best I can to insult the other players. It makes me feel better. This is strange because I am normally a very nice guy (I hope).

Why do I do this? Is it ok if I keep doing this?

[/ QUOTE ]

[censored] you.

[touchfaith]

Dear Bison,

How many hours did jakethebake 'dream about posting' last night?

[bisonbison]

Dear Heimdal,

There are worse ways to vent, there are better ways to vent. Anger is, in many ways, like a muscle. Letting anger loose in contempt for other people is not, in the end, going to rid you of that feeling for very long, and may just end up strengthening it over time.

Figure out why you need to vent.

[bisonbison]

Dear thin,

It is hard for me to describe how little I care.

[offTopic]

[ QUOTE ]
Dear Bison. this upcoming weekend, rockfishing should be pretty good, but I've been doing that a lot lately. halibut will be hit or miss, but I haven't caught a halibut in a year (haven't targeted them) and would be a nice change of pace. striped bass can be absolutely cold, but can turn red hot in an instant if a school rolls in, and they're fun to catch.
the tide will be good for either of these options, driving distances and time invested are similar, and the food value of each is pretty much equal.

which kind of fishing should I do.

[/ QUOTE ]

Obviously, palates differ, and I hate to disagree with an internet celebrity, but from a food value perspective, I find:

halibut >> striped bass >>> rockfish

Therefore, this is not a coin-flip situation. I would apply the following...

If

{ p(catching a halibut) + [ p(catching a striper) * p(suffering long-term health problems by consuming a striper with enough Hg in it to make a thermometer) ] } * 3 >= p(catching rockfish)

Then

target halibut, and keep an extra rod handy in case the stripers come in

Else

target rockfish

Dear Bison

I have no ambition in life, none. I don't believe in right/wrong, good/evil. Is there any reason I shouldn't be extremely lazy (which I'm doing pretty well at)?

[jakethebake]

[ QUOTE ]
Dear Bison

I have no ambition in life, none. I don't believe in right/wrong, good/evil. Is there any reason I shouldn't be extremely lazy (which I'm doing pretty well at)?

[/ QUOTE ]

If you don't believe in right/wrong or good/evil then we're all glad you're lazy.

[bisonbison]

Dear eckoo,

Being happy feels better than feeling sad, hopeless or depressed. In the end, that's enough to move me.

[B00T]

Dear Bison,

Would you agree that Blarg is the most intelligent poster on the boards? He constantly plays the "Dear Bison" voice of reason day in and day out when you are off galavanting dreaming about how much you think people miss your presence in this very column?

[bisonbison]

Dear Pants,

Ambition doesn't matter. Either you are at peace with your course or you're not. If you're at peace and you're not harming anyone, then that's not a bad place to be.

[bisonbison]

Dear B00T,

I wouldn't agree, even if I knew enough about Blarg to respond. Intelligence is vastly overrated and underutilized on internet forums.

[lucas9000]

dear bison,

please settle this once and for all: which is the best gimmick account?

[bisonbison]

Dear Lucas,

I was always a fan of Sample Size Man because he was me.

[M2d]

Dear Bison,
please tell me which wells fargo branches in the bay area carry three sided coins? or is it: heads=a, tails=b, stands on edge=c?

[bisonbison]

Dear M2d,

You can flip it multiple times. You know, as an alternative to fishing.

[touchfaith]

[ QUOTE ]
Dear Bison,
please tell me which wells fargo branches in the bay area carry three sided coins? or is it: heads=a, tails=b, stands on edge=c?

[/ QUOTE ]

You going out of Half Moon Bay?

[Slow Play Ray]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
If I melt Dry ice into a swimming pool can I go swimming with out getting wet?

[/ QUOTE ]

Please tell me you're not serious. First dry ice isn't frozen water, and second uh... when it "melts" it turns into a gas.

[/ QUOTE ]

the word you were looking for was "sublimate"

[M2d]

[ QUOTE ]
You going out of Half Moon Bay?

[/ QUOTE ]
nah, not a boat guy. I prefer to fish alone and mobile. san mateo beaches for the halibut option, the rocks just north of hmb for the rock cod and the brisbane tubes area (south of candlestick on 101) for the stripers.

[touchfaith]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
You going out of Half Moon Bay?

[/ QUOTE ]
nah, not a boat guy. I prefer to fish alone and mobile. san mateo beaches for the halibut option, the rocks just north of hmb for the rock cod and the brisbane tubes area (south of candlestick on 101) for the stripers.

[/ QUOTE ]

I miss going out on the old pier in San Mateo. I've got two lanterns off the side of that pier...good times, good times /images/graemlins/smile.gif

I was going to tube in McCovery Cove this year during a game and have been meaning to for years (have not seen a tuber out there yet, wanted to be the first), but it hasn't happened yet...

I'm more a Sierra's stream or back country lake speed myself. 1 charter out of HMB and 1 skim (yes a skim) out of Aptos...sick both times. I can't do boats /images/graemlins/smile.gif

hahahaaha you called me 'Pants'

bison rules!!!

[jdl22]

When you fish at home do you use a pole or spear?

If spear do you prefer night or day?

[M2d]

[ QUOTE ]
When you fish at home do you use a pole or spear?

[/ QUOTE ]
both
[ QUOTE ]
If spear do you prefer night or day?

[/ QUOTE ]
night: the fish sleep, so they're easier to shoot.

[Dex]

Dear Bison,

How can I get some peace of mind about this (http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/showflat.php?Number=3082555)?

How should I proceed? What other words of wisdom can you give me about this?

Thank you.

[offTopic]

Dear Bison,

I anticipate being laid off in the November time frame. I have 6 years' experience in VB6, about 2 years in VB.NET, and am currently teaching myself C#. What would be another good language/platform to bolster my resume?

[Matt Flynn]

Dear Bison,

I am a dermatologist. I see skin cancers on random people often, particularly at poker tournaments. It's a touchy subject. I have knowledge that will help them and in some cases will save their lives, yet saying something that personal to someone breaks social rules. Some people get very angry. Many derms never say anything. My policy on this has been:

If I know you I tell you.

If it looks like melanoma (5% of skin cancer, often fatal if left alone but easily cured if caught early), I say something privately.

If it looks like basal cell carcinoma (75-80% of skin cancer, almost no metastasis, low risk), I work my being a dermatologist into conversation if talking to them and typically say nothing unless asked.

If it looks like squamous cell carcinoma (15-20% of skin cancer, 1% risk of metastasis unless it is quite large), I do the same as for basal cell carcinoma.

Do you find my strategy moral?

Matt

[Matt Flynn]

Dex,

Our routine:

Genital warts can be difficult to treat and can regrow no matter how treated. If you have any around your anus, you need a gastroenterologist to scope you to make sure there are none inside. Otherwise you are wasting your time. Also, if you got warts, you could have gotten something else and should get routine STD screening.

Typically a combination of treatments would be used for you, like liquid nitrogen and podophylin every 1-3 weeks or liquid nitrogen every 1-3 weeks and Condylox at home 4 nights/week. Or just cutting, cauterizing or lasering them off, but that can leave scars. Aldara is heavily marketed but for men often does not work, even if applied daily.

Make sure you get proper counselling on how to avoid giving them to someone else.

Matt
(Dermatology)

[M2d]

Dear Matt,
tell them anyway. it may save their life and put them on tilt at the same time. consider the chips you win your consultation fee.

[Losing all]

Dear Matt,

I got a horrible drunken sunburn a couple weeks ago. I had what looked like big chunks of black leather peeling off my entire face. It's ok now, but I'm a little worried. Should I see a doctor (No insurance)? Serious question btw.

[shant]

Dear Bison,

I am just finishing up some freelance web work. I do Flash design and animation stuff. I was just about to start playing poker professionally instead of trying to find another fulltime job. My plan was going to go into effect this coming week.

I just received an email from a large search engine company that has recently opened an office here in Los Angeles. In the email I am being offered a position on their creative team. My main problems with going back to work is the loss of free time, and dealing with the LA commuter traffic everyday.

Since you went pro, and then stopped to work for a search engine company, I figured you'd have good insight into my choices here. What should I do?

[nolanfan34]

[ QUOTE ]
My main problems with going back to work is the loss of free time, and dealing with the LA commuter traffic everyday.

[/ QUOTE ]

These are seriously your issues against getting a job in the software/tech industry? If the offer is remotely decent at all, I can't fathom not going that path. Think more than a few years down the road - work for a good company and you can have plenty of free time when you're 55.

[shant]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
My main problems with going back to work is the loss of free time, and dealing with the LA commuter traffic everyday.

[/ QUOTE ]

These are seriously your issues against getting a job in the software/tech industry? If the offer is remotely decent at all, I can't fathom not going that path. Think more than a few years down the road - work for a good company and you can have plenty of free time when you're 55.

[/ QUOTE ]
I'm going to the meeting on Tuesday so I don't know what the salary and offer is, but seriously the LA 1-hour daily commute each way sucks ass. It takes away time I could be playing poker or going to the gym.

[bugstud]

dear bison,

what is the optimal number of shots to be placed on a tray for impending spillage?

thanks,
bug

[MarkL444]

matt-

all i can say is that if it were me i would appreciate you telling me, regardless of your approach. although finding a way to do it privately is obviously much better.

mark

[IndieMatty]

Take the job duder. You know this. /images/graemlins/frown.gif

[zoomOut]

Dear Bison,


1. Are all writers plagerizers to some extent?

2. Is it wrong to make my family eat hot dogs and ramen so that I can buy Egyptian cotton sheets because supposedly they are damn sweet?

3. What is the difference between a man losing $300 in a home poker game and his wife blowing that much on a new jacket that she doesn't really need? Is one less foolish?

[bisonbison]

Listen to Matt.

[bisonbison]

Dear offTopic,

I assume you know the type of company you want to work at, so I would simply call a engineering manager at one of those companies and ask what type of skill sets they're looking for, even if they're not hiring at the moment. For the most part, if you're straightforward and not pushy, people will be helpful.

On the other hand, asking an engineer for his professional opinion can feel like descending into some special, droning rung of pedantic hell, so be aware.

[bisonbison]

I think your strategy sounds fine, though if you don't find it wearying you might just choose to take everyone (even the relatively benign ones) and tell them in private.

People get angry because it's humiliating to be casually surveyed and diagnosed without permission (even though we'd all do it if we had the skill), and because the concept of cancer is terrifying, whatever it's prognosis.

But you're not giving people prohibitive advice: "hey cecil, maybe you should stay out of the noonday sun." You're giving them caution where they may have none. You're doing a scary service to them, and I think it's a good idea. If you agree that it's a good idea, you just have to make peace with the often crappy reactions.

[bisonbison]

I would take the job. Socializing + security + career growth. You can still play as much poker as you want.

[bisonbison]

Bug,

It depends on the size of the spiller's head. In my case and yours, I'd say 20.

[JaBlue]

Dear Bisonbison,
Are you going to the Oakland Art and Soul festival this weekend? If not, howcome?

PS it should be awesome

[bisonbison]

Dear zoom,

1. Yes. Of course. All musicians are plaigarists too and no one seems to mind that.

2. If you've discussed this with the family and they want to have the sheets too, then no. Not wrong but kind of dumb.

3. The difference? Well, the man has an expected earn rate and a given standard of variance given his opponents and his level of mental fitness at the time, as well as a given ability to estimate these two factors that may be wildly inaccurate due to his desire to play and to win and so forth. The wife has a desire to buy a coat. They both end up investing a certain amount of money in their pursuit of their goals, and each gets a tangible result.

The man and woman should have a reasonable discussion about budgeting that avoids loaded terms like "blowing money on clothes you don't need" and "throwing cash down the sinkhole of your pathetic gambling jones".

[bisonbison]

Dear Matty,

I saw Christian yesterday and said "Matt is always telling me to say hi to Hammy for him."

"oh, that's what my girlfriend calls me."

I didn't push the issue.

[Matt Flynn]

Dear Losing all your skin,

Not much to be done about it now. Save the money and spend it on sunscreen and a hat. In the future, watch for new lesions on you face, or just sit across from me at a tournament.

Matt

Dear Bison:

I am a cigar noob. your advice as to what I should get? There is a cohiba store nearby so i can get mostly anything.

[captZEEbo1]

dead bisonbison,

can you start quoting what questions you are answering so it is easier to read what posts are you responding to for us flat-viewing people.

[jdl22]

here's a forum feature many aren't aware of:
when you are looking at a post that is a response you will see something like [Re: bisonbison] after the subject. You can click on the username and it will open a new window with the post to which the one you are reading is a response.

[scotty34]

Dear bison,

I usually don't ask for relationship advice, but I'm just very curious to what you think about this situation.

I dated a girl for 8 months, and was sort of unhappy in the relationship. Nice girl and everything, I had complete trust in her, attractive, but she just didn't "stimulate me mentally." Broke up with her at the end of the school year cuz we moved away for the summer. She came by the other day on her way back to school, and we went to the bar. I got drunk and told her my feelings, she basically told me she was in love with me, and didn't touch another guy all summer because of that (I did hook up with other girls and told her this). I tell her I don't feel the same way, and say that I don't think it would be fair to her if we keep going out, because she feels much more strongly towards me than I to her. She gets pretty upset, and says she can't talk to me anymore now. Since this night, I've thought about it constantly - I don't know if its second thoughts, wanting something b/c its not there for me anymore, or other reasons.

What course of action would put my mind at ease?

[BigBaitsim (milo)]

[ QUOTE ]
Dear Bison,

I am a dermatologist. I see skin cancers on random people often, particularly at poker tournaments. It's a touchy subject. I have knowledge that will help them and in some cases will save their lives, yet saying something that personal to someone breaks social rules. Some people get very angry. Many derms never say anything. My policy on this has been:

If I know you I tell you.

If it looks like melanoma (5% of skin cancer, often fatal if left alone but easily cured if caught early), I say something privately.

If it looks like basal cell carcinoma (75-80% of skin cancer, almost no metastasis, low risk), I work my being a dermatologist into conversation if talking to them and typically say nothing unless asked.

If it looks like squamous cell carcinoma (15-20% of skin cancer, 1% risk of metastasis unless it is quite large), I do the same as for basal cell carcinoma.

Do you find my strategy moral?

Matt

[/ QUOTE ]

Matt,

I had a Stage I Melanoma about 2 years ago, which was relatively thin. The nifty little web tool says I have a 94.7% chance of not dying from melanoma (and my doc concurs), which is great when it's someone else's chances, crappy when it's yours.

Although it would really upset me to have a doctor tell me that something looks like cancer while I was playing poker, it would upset me (and my wife) a lot more to die from a cancer that could have been cured if caught early.

-Milo

[BigBaitsim (milo)]

[ QUOTE ]
Dear Losing all your skin,

Not much to be done about it now. Save the money and spend it on sunscreen and a hat. In the future, watch for new lesions on you face, or just sit across from me at a tournament.

Matt

[/ QUOTE ]

I suspect the type of regular skin checks my dermatologist gives me these days would be inappropriate at the poker table, but if I ever find myself sitting across from you...

[bisonbison]

Dear Scotty,

Well, it's a crappy situation.

a few things:

Of course you have to tell her the truth, so good job with that, but telling her when you're both drinking is A) gonna make it more likely that you hurt each other badly, B) make it more likely you hook up, which is not conducive to moving on, C) make it more likely that one or both parties keep wondering 'well did we break up cause we were drunk?'.

Next time, and I know it's hard, try to tell her how you feel before the summer, and tell her when you're both sober.

Now? You have to let her alone for a while. Cause you're missing her as a friend but it's not likely you suddenly discovered she was the love of your life.

[bisonbison]

Dear Egocide,

I don't know. I do know that a McDonald's chocolate shake will eradicate the taste though, which is important if you want to not have your mouth smell of ass.

[Talk2BigSteve]

[ QUOTE ]
Dear mslif,

It takes work to maintain that wardrobe.

[/ QUOTE ]

Thank you for making me laugh!

Big Steve /images/graemlins/cool.gif

[offTopic]

[ QUOTE ]
Dear offTopic,

<snip>

On the other hand, asking an engineer for his professional opinion can feel like descending into some special, droning rung of pedantic hell, so be aware.

[/ QUOTE ]

That's ok, I already participate in online poker strategy fora, so I'm used to it. /images/graemlins/grin.gif

[Nick B.]

Dear Bison,

Who are the girls in Kanye West's Golddigger video and will Kanye ever just STFU and make music?

Dear Bison,

When is Google going to offer free WLAN access in San Francisco??

[2planka]

Dear Bison,

My anniversary is next week, and since the Warden is such a wonderful lady, I'd like to get her something nice. Got any ideas? It'll be our 4th anniversary (and yes, she's quite a gal, but no, SIIHP is not our thing). We're going to Aruba next year, so something under $200 would be good.

[Thebram]

Dear Bison,

I'm getting married this weekend in NJ.
Then we're going to the Bahamas for our honeymoon.
I asked her if I could smoke some Cubans (cigars) while we were there. She said yes, but stated that afterwards, she would not have sex with me.

My question is, wooden matches are a must, correct?

[college_boy]

Dear Bison,

This is slightly off topic. How long will the games remain good?

[Zurvan]

[ QUOTE ]
Dear Bison,

My anniversary is next week, and since the Warden is such a wonderful lady, I'd like to get her something nice. Got any ideas? It'll be our 4th anniversary (and yes, she's quite a gal, but no, SIIHP is not our thing). We're going to Aruba next year, so something under $200 would be good.

[/ QUOTE ]

This is a good choice, depending on whether it's her thing or not: Linky (http://www.romanceher.com/goldroses.htm)

Combine with cheesy poem, and she'll be all over you.

Dear Bison,

Katrina + has made it a long week. How long is it ok to cry continueously before seeking medical attention?

[PITTM]

[ QUOTE ]
Dear Bison,

I'm getting married this weekend in NJ.
Then we're going to the Bahamas for our honeymoon.
I asked her if I could smoke some Cubans (cigars) while we were there. She said yes, but stated that afterwards, she would not have sex with me.

My question is, wooden matches are a must, correct?

[/ QUOTE ]

post of the year nominee...

rj

[lucas9000]

dear bison,

a man is running (for exercise) on a sidewalk. the sidewalk is wide enough for two people to walk side-by-side. the man is heading for a couple, walking side-by-side, holding hands, walking towards the runner. on each side of the sidewalk is grassy ground with the occasional root sticking out of the ground. what is the proper etiquette for the parties involved here? how should they each act?

thanks,

lucas