Worst thing you've heard just as you're mounting up

[diebitter]

"Careful. We don't want to make a little 'Eva'"

Her name was Eva, BTW.

I had to stop right there - no condoms, no way of getting any.

[Toro]

"Do you love me?"

[Vavavoom]

"I don't normally do this..."

And my all-time favourite...

"We'll have to be quiet, my parents are in the bedroom below this room..."


Edit to add:

I have also had..."How many people have you slept with...?", just before entering...

[HesseJam]

All these are all-time classics. Thank god, I'm over forty now and don't have to listen to this crap any longer because either the women are old enough to know better or the younger ones have the natural instinct to know that this crap doesn't fly with me.

[skipperbob]

"Is it in yet?"

"you can 'F' me; just don't breathe on me"

[Toro]

[ QUOTE ]
"Is it in yet?"

[/ QUOTE ]

Was it? I mean in yet. If it was that would be very insulting.

[diebitter]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
"Is it in yet?"

[/ QUOTE ]

Was it? I mean in yet. If it was that would be very insulting.

[/ QUOTE ]

I took it to mean he found out, and the worse possible moment, she was such a loosey she didn't even know if it was in.

But the 'very small winkie' interpretation is just as funny.

[thatpfunk]

My friend- Hold on, let me put on a condum.
Her- Oh, you're one of "those" guys.

[diebitter]

[ QUOTE ]
My friend- Hold on, let me put on a condum.
Her- Oh, you're one of "those" guys.

[/ QUOTE ]
Ah, man I gotta stop drinking fizzy stuff while I read these boards. Just got pepsinosed (again).

[dcasper70]

"Say my name"


Unfortunately, I was:
A) Wasted
B) Wrong

C) Leaving... /images/graemlins/frown.gif

[cpitt398]

I had a girl ask me her name before while she climbing ontop of me. Did you do like me and just take a random guess hoping to miraculously get it right?

BTW I was wrong. Still hit it though

[Sponger15SB]

I heard this last night when me and the 5-6 other people who were at the house walked in right after 2 people were done boning.

"What just happened"
"We had sex"
"Bullshit, I didn't feel anything"

[Yeti]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
My friend- Hold on, let me put on a condum.
Her- Oh, you're one of "those" guys.

[/ QUOTE ]
Ah, man I gotta stop drinking fizzy stuff while I read these boards. Just got pepsinosed (again).

[/ QUOTE ]

No, you didn't. Stop saying this [censored].

[Seadood228]

"Hold on, I have to go poop real fast..."

[dcasper70]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
"Say my name"


Unfortunately, I was:
A) Wasted
B) Wrong

C) Leaving... /images/graemlins/frown.gif

[/ QUOTE ]

I had a girl ask me her name before while she climbing ontop of me. Did you do like me and just take a random guess hoping to miraculously get it right?

BTW I was wrong. Still hit it though


[/ QUOTE ]

Of course you have to throw a name out, but I tried dancing around the issue a little first.

I did not share your luck with my incorectness...

[diebitter]

Do what I used to, just call them 'honey', all of them, straight away. That way you don't end up calling Susan 'Helen', or Jenny 'Waynetta' etc etc

I still call my wife 'Honey', just in case /images/graemlins/smile.gif

[jakethebake]

[ QUOTE ]
BTW I was wrong. Still hit it though

[/ QUOTE ]

How drunk was she?

[thatpfunk]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
BTW I was wrong. Still hit it though

[/ QUOTE ]

How drunk was she?

[/ QUOTE ]

I have laughed off quite a few of these. Most girls realize how drunk they must be to be hooking up with a guy that drunk, they no longer care.

[jakethebake]

[ QUOTE ]
I have laughed off quite a few of these. Most girls realize how drunk they must be to be hooking up with a guy that drunk, they no longer care.

[/ QUOTE ]

Of course this is true. The girl drunk with the intention of hooking with a guy she barely knew. The guy got drunk with the intention of hooking up with a girl he wouldn't do if he could see straight. Who cares about names? /images/graemlins/grin.gif

[bosoxfan]

[ QUOTE ]
"Is it in yet?"

[/ QUOTE ]

What do you mean is it in? I'm already done.

[cpitt398]

you win

[jakethebake]

[ QUOTE ]
"Hold on, I have to go poop real fast..."

[/ QUOTE ]

I've heard that one too. I've also heard, "Here put this red towel under my ass."

[cpitt398]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
BTW I was wrong. Still hit it though

[/ QUOTE ]

How drunk was she?

[/ QUOTE ]

Drunk enough to think that we were at some club together dancing earlier in the night. I didn't correct her. I figured she likely already made out with that other dude she thought was me. It was like getting intentionally walked to first base.

[samjjones]

You know...you're a lot smaller than your father.

[ChipWrecked]

Don't you dare throw up on my clean sheets.

[thatpfunk]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
"Hold on, I have to go poop real fast..."

[/ QUOTE ]

I've heard that one too. I've also heard, "Here put this red towel under my ass."

[/ QUOTE ]

That's [censored] gross if it means what I think it means.

[ChipWrecked]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
"Hold on, I have to go poop real fast..."

[/ QUOTE ]

I've heard that one too. I've also heard, "Here put this red towel under my ass."

[/ QUOTE ]

That's [censored] gross if it means what I think it means.

[/ QUOTE ]

That's what it means. Gross is a state of mind, though.

[jakethebake]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I've heard that one too. I've also heard, "Here put this red towel under my ass."

[/ QUOTE ]
That's [censored] gross if it means what I think it means.

[/ QUOTE ]

There was no parting of the Red Sea that night. /images/graemlins/tongue.gif

[ChipWrecked]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I've heard that one too. I've also heard, "Here put this red towel under my ass."

[/ QUOTE ]
That's [censored] gross if it means what I think it means.

[/ QUOTE ]

There was no parting of the Red Sea that night. /images/graemlins/tongue.gif

[/ QUOTE ]

Gross! /images/graemlins/laugh.gif

[thatpfunk]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
"Hold on, I have to go poop real fast..."

[/ QUOTE ]

I've heard that one too. I've also heard, "Here put this red towel under my ass."

[/ QUOTE ]

That's [censored] gross if it means what I think it means.

[/ QUOTE ]

That's what it means. Gross is a state of mind, though.

[/ QUOTE ]

The towel/sex isn't gross.

It is gross that she has a red towel for it specifically meaning she washes and keeps it.

[ChipWrecked]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
"Hold on, I have to go poop real fast..."

[/ QUOTE ]

I've heard that one too. I've also heard, "Here put this red towel under my ass."

[/ QUOTE ]

That's [censored] gross if it means what I think it means.

[/ QUOTE ]

That's what it means. Gross is a state of mind, though.

[/ QUOTE ]

The towel/sex isn't gross.

It is gross that she has a red towel for it specifically meaning she washes and keeps it.

[/ QUOTE ]

I think they all do.

[ QUOTE ]
"Hold on, I have to go poop real fast..."

[/ QUOTE ]
You win.

Did you still hit it after that?

[diebitter]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I've heard that one too. I've also heard, "Here put this red towel under my ass."

[/ QUOTE ]
That's [censored] gross if it means what I think it means.

[/ QUOTE ]

There was no parting of the Red Sea that night. /images/graemlins/tongue.gif

[/ QUOTE ]

I've never had a problem with this personally. Other than changing position is out.

[jakethebake]

[ QUOTE ]
I've never had a problem with this personally. Other than changing position is out.

[/ QUOTE ]

It depends. If it's some girl I picked up in a bar that night, I'd say it was a deal breaker. If it's a girlfriend, etc. Then no problem.

[cpitt398]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I've never had a problem with this personally. Other than changing position is out.

[/ QUOTE ]

It depends. If it's some girl I picked up in a bar that night, I'd say it was a deal breaker. If it's a girlfriend, etc. Then no problem.

[/ QUOTE ]

Ive pulled the tampon out myself on a girl I never banged before.

[jakethebake]

[ QUOTE ]
Ive pulled the tampon out myself on a girl I never banged before.

[/ QUOTE ]

Wow...just wow. /images/graemlins/tongue.gif

[Sponger15SB]

[ QUOTE ]
Worst thing you've heard just as you're mounting up

[/ QUOTE ]

muffled screams

[diebitter]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I've never had a problem with this personally. Other than changing position is out.

[/ QUOTE ]

It depends. If it's some girl I picked up in a bar that night, I'd say it was a deal breaker. If it's a girlfriend, etc. Then no problem.

[/ QUOTE ]

Ive pulled the tampon out myself on a girl I never banged before.

[/ QUOTE ]

[Darth vader]Impressive[/darth vader]. What did you do with it then?

Actually, I've had two girlies tell me getting to the happy ending relieved their period pains.

Maybe there's a pick-up line buried in there somewhere - you just gotta look out for the bloated, cranky ones...

[Sponger15SB]

[ QUOTE ]
Ive pulled the tampon out myself on a girl I never banged before.

[/ QUOTE ]

OH MY GOD THAT IS THE GROSSES THING I'VE EVER HEARD

http://edition.cnn.com/SHOWBIZ/Movies/9811/11/water.boy/billy.madison.jpg

[ChipWrecked]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I've never had a problem with this personally. Other than changing position is out.

[/ QUOTE ]

It depends. If it's some girl I picked up in a bar that night, I'd say it was a deal breaker. If it's a girlfriend, etc. Then no problem.

[/ QUOTE ]

Ive pulled the tampon out myself on a girl I never banged before.

[/ QUOTE ]

[Darth vader]Impressive[/darth vader]

In fact, I've had two girlies tell me getting to the happy ending relieved their period pains.

Maybe there's a pick-up line buried in there somewhere - you just gotta look out for the bloated, cranky ones...

[/ QUOTE ]

Exactly why I have no problem with it. Usually some extra excitement then.

[diebitter]

[ QUOTE ]
assorted period/hitting it discussion

[/ QUOTE ]

Is it me, or does this sort of demand its own thread?

[jakethebake]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
assorted period/hitting it discussion

[/ QUOTE ]

Is it me, or does this sort of demand its own thread?

[/ QUOTE ]

It's been done before.

[diebitter]

[ QUOTE ]

It's been done before.

[/ QUOTE ]

I'm such a noob

[ChipWrecked]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
assorted period/hitting it discussion

[/ QUOTE ]

Is it me, or does this sort of demand its own thread?

[/ QUOTE ]

It's been done before.

[/ QUOTE ]

Once you reach the top of the posting heap, you realize there truly is no such thing as an original thought.

[Seadood228]

Errr... I think so.. don't remember (or plead the fifth).

[HopeydaFish]

[ QUOTE ]

Ive pulled the tampon out myself on a girl I never banged before.

[/ QUOTE ]

Please please please tell us you were *really really* drunk and didn't know what you were doing.

[HopeydaFish]

[ QUOTE ]
"Say my name"


[/ QUOTE ]

Uh...Mulva?

[PocketJokers72]

I know she was trying to say something, but the plastic bag over her head made it just sound like "fmmhfmm msdfmmsdfmg".

[Smackdab]

Once picked up a chick at a bar.
We go back to her place crack open a couple beers, one thing leads to another. Just as I'm getting ready to enter her she says "don't do it if you don't mean it. To which I reply "Oh, I mean to fcuk you". Which I did. Haven't seen the little tramp since.

[cpitt398]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I've never had a problem with this personally. Other than changing position is out.

[/ QUOTE ]

It depends. If it's some girl I picked up in a bar that night, I'd say it was a deal breaker. If it's a girlfriend, etc. Then no problem.

[/ QUOTE ]

Ive pulled the tampon out myself on a girl I never banged before.

[/ QUOTE ]

[Darth vader]Impressive[/darth vader]. What did you do with it then?

Actually, I've had two girlies tell me getting to the happy ending relieved their period pains.

Maybe there's a pick-up line buried in there somewhere - you just gotta look out for the bloated, cranky ones...

[/ QUOTE ]


What did I do with it then? Threw it across the room. Pulling it out was nothing compared to retriving it the next day.

[morgan180]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I have laughed off quite a few of these. Most girls realize how drunk they must be to be hooking up with a guy that drunk, they no longer care.

[/ QUOTE ]

Of course this is true. The girl drunk with the intention of hooking with a guy she barely knew. The guy got drunk with the intention of hooking up with a girl he wouldn't do if he could see straight. Who cares about names? /images/graemlins/grin.gif

[/ QUOTE ]

this is true i was hooking up with a girl on my friend's hallway floor. she looked at me and said do you know my name? i said no .. she said "phew, i couldn't remember yours either." PROCEED....

[jakethebake]

[ QUOTE ]
this is true i was hooking up with a girl on my friend's hallway floor. she looked at me and said do you know my name? i said no .. she said "phew, i couldn't remember yours either." PROCEED....

[/ QUOTE ]

That is awesome!

[morgan180]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I've never had a problem with this personally. Other than changing position is out.

[/ QUOTE ]

It depends. If it's some girl I picked up in a bar that night, I'd say it was a deal breaker. If it's a girlfriend, etc. Then no problem.

[/ QUOTE ]

Ive pulled the tampon out with my teeth on a girl I never banged before.

[/ QUOTE ]

[newfant]

I don't get laid often, but I'll never forget that time some random bar chick was reaching for my belt on her hotel balcony and then she said, "what's my name?" I was so drunk I barely knew my own name.

Anyway, beautiful music was playing in my head before she said that and then all I heard was the needle scratching across the record. Whores.

[rustyboy]

My finest:

"Before we go through this, what's my name?"
"Ummm.... starts with an M?"

I was right, but still too wrong to continue.

[ptmusic]

"How is Sarah doing?"

I was in high school and about to cheat on Sarah. The girl I was about to bang was cheating also, but she was having second thoughts at just the wrong time. In a pathetic defense of my ethics, may I say that Sarah was cheating on me too; basically, everyone was cheating on everyone. Aaah, the wonderful days of high school.

-ptmusic

[Toro]

[ QUOTE ]
I don't get laid often

[/ QUOTE ]

/images/graemlins/frown.gif

[jakethebake]

I can't believe there are this many girls that routinely ask the guy their name as he's about to put it in.

[LetYouDown]

A siren.

[Al P]

[ QUOTE ]
"Say my name"


Unfortunately, I was:
A) Wasted
B) Wrong

C) Leaving... /images/graemlins/frown.gif

[/ QUOTE ]

ROFL good one.

[IndieMatty]

We need a best thing youve heard thread.

Something like: "Thanks for [censored] my friend"

[Slow Play Ray]

I have no good ones myself off the top of my head, but my buddy told me this story about one time he was hooking up with a chick and she was like "stop teasing, just put it all the way in!"....it already was.

However, the funniest part of the story was the utterly dejected look on his face when he told me.

[touchfaith]

I usually hear something like...

"WOW!"








Really.

[jakethebake]

[ QUOTE ]
I have no good ones myself off the top of my head, but my buddy told me this story about one time he was hooking up with a chick and she was like "stop teasing, just put it all the way in!"....it already was.

However, the funniest part of the story was the utterly dejected look on his face when he told me.

[/ QUOTE ]

I'm pretty open about most things, but there is no way in hell I'd be telling anyone that story.

[LetYouDown]

[ QUOTE ]
I usually hear something like...

"WOW!"


[/ QUOTE ]

Living up to your moniker, Thin Man?

[imported_CaseClosed326]

Moooooo

[Richard Tanner]

Me: How old are you?
Her: Hold on I'll show you my Learner's Permit

Cody

[HopeydaFish]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I have no good ones myself off the top of my head, but my buddy told me this story about one time he was hooking up with a chick and she was like "stop teasing, just put it all the way in!"....it already was.

However, the funniest part of the story was the utterly dejected look on his face when he told me.

[/ QUOTE ]

I'm pretty open about most things, but there is no way in hell I'd be telling anyone that story.

[/ QUOTE ]

Yeah, if I were to tell one of my friends that story, the *rest* of my friends would be teasing me about it for the rest of my life.

[jakethebake]

[ QUOTE ]
I usually hear something like...

"WOW!"




What the hell is wrong with it?



Really.

[/ QUOTE ]

I assume the white space was for us to guess what to fill in?

[touchfaith]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I usually hear something like...

"WOW!"


[/ QUOTE ]

Living up to your moniker, Thin Man?

[/ QUOTE ]

I have big hands.

[Slow Play Ray]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I have no good ones myself off the top of my head, but my buddy told me this story about one time he was hooking up with a chick and she was like "stop teasing, just put it all the way in!"....it already was.

However, the funniest part of the story was the utterly dejected look on his face when he told me.

[/ QUOTE ]

I'm pretty open about most things, but there is no way in hell I'd be telling anyone that story.

[/ QUOTE ]

that was my reply to him, almost verbatim. he said it was too funny not to share with someone, but not to tell anyone else. you guys don't count. and for the few of you who know me in RL, i just won't tell you which friend it was. /images/graemlins/grin.gif

[JayLear]

"Did you check on the kids?"

"Did you remember to take the garbage out?"

"Did you remember to put gas in my car?"

and my favorite...

"Can we just to this tomorrow?"

[Cancer Merchant]

The sound of a creaky door opening, followed by a tiny voice making a suprised sound. "Mommy?!"

Followed by rapid deflation.

[krazyace5]

"I love you"

Put my pants back on and walked out.

[jakethebake]

[ QUOTE ]
The sound of a creaky door opening, followed by a tiny voice making a suprised sound. "Mommy?!"

Followed by rapid deflation.

[/ QUOTE ]

This reminded me of a good one. The same thing "Mommy?" But the kid was sleeping in the room. Her 2 year-old slept in a crib in the room, and I hadn't even noticed it. /images/graemlins/tongue.gif

[LethalRose]

[ QUOTE ]
"I love you"

Put my pants back on and walked out.

[/ QUOTE ]

after you were done, right?

[shadyridr]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
The sound of a creaky door opening, followed by a tiny voice making a suprised sound. "Mommy?!"

Followed by rapid deflation.

[/ QUOTE ]

This reminded me of a good one. The same thing "Mommy?" But the kid was sleeping in the room. Her 2 year-old slept in a crib in the room, and I hadn't even noticed it. /images/graemlins/tongue.gif

[/ QUOTE ]

3some!

[kelvin474]

The Aristocrats!

[private joker]

This was my first time with this girl, and our second date. Just as I got her legs up in the air:

"Don't take this the wrong way, but I think I love you."

I went through with it anyway, but then at the climax she had a crygasm. It was not cool. She called me every 20 minutes for the next 3 days.

[swede123]

[ QUOTE ]
This was my first time with this girl, and our second date. Just as I got her legs up in the air:

"Don't take this the wrong way, but I think I love you."

I went through with it anyway, but then at the climax she had a crygasm. It was not cool. She called me every 20 minutes for the next 3 days.

[/ QUOTE ]

Hahahhaaha, classic. The question begging to be asked: based on this experience would you still go at it if the same thing happened again?

Swede

[private joker]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
This was my first time with this girl, and our second date. Just as I got her legs up in the air:

"Don't take this the wrong way, but I think I love you."

I went through with it anyway, but then at the climax she had a crygasm. It was not cool. She called me every 20 minutes for the next 3 days.

[/ QUOTE ]

Hahahhaaha, classic. The question begging to be asked: based on this experience would you still go at it if the same thing happened again?

Swede

[/ QUOTE ]

It depends on the girl. If it was the same one, hell no -- she wasn't very good. But with the right hottie worth banging, then yes. Yes, I am that much of a man-whore.

[ddubois]

"It's awfully small"

[HopeydaFish]

"Oh, it's so cute!"

[Monty]

[ QUOTE ]
I have no good ones myself off the top of my head, but my buddy told me this story about one time he was hooking up with a chick and she was like "stop teasing, just put it all the way in!"....it already was.

However, the funniest part of the story was the utterly dejected look on his face when he told me.

[/ QUOTE ]

My friend has a similar story
Her(during anal): Deeper
Him: That's all I got!!

[PocketJokers72]

[ QUOTE ]
"It's awfully small"

[/ QUOTE ]

It looks just like a dick, only smaller.

[swede123]

[ QUOTE ]
My friend has a similar story
Her(during anal): Deeper
Him: That's all I got!!

[/ QUOTE ]

Where the hell were girls like this during my dating career?

Swede

[rohjoh]

This was not at the point of mounting, but still terrible.

Was at a bar, and picked up a simi drunk girl. She said to follow her back to her house, which was about 1 mile away. As we pulled out of the bar, 3 police cars pulled in behind her, and pulled her over. I drove by like 5 times to see if they were going to give her a DUI, but I was S.O.L., they hooked her up and took her off to jail! Bastards

[jakethebake]

[ QUOTE ]
This was not at the point of mounting, but still terrible.

Was at a bar, and picked up a simi drunk girl. She said to follow her back to her house, which was about 1 mile away. As we pulled out of the bar, 3 police cars pulled in behind her, and pulled her over. I drove by like 5 times to see if they were going to give her a DUI, but the last time I drove by she was bobbing up and down in the officer's front seat.

[/ QUOTE ]

I was looking for a funnier ending to this one...

[ptmusic]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
The sound of a creaky door opening, followed by a tiny voice making a suprised sound. "Mommy?!"

Followed by rapid deflation.

[/ QUOTE ]

This reminded me of a good one. The same thing "Mommy?" But the kid was sleeping in the room. Her 2 year-old slept in a crib in the room, and I hadn't even noticed it. /images/graemlins/tongue.gif

[/ QUOTE ]

3some!

[/ QUOTE ]

You are vermin.

-ptmusic

[Voltron87]

"i love you chris"

[sublime]

"dont tell mom and dad"

[jason_t]

"It was a night like this that led to my first child."

[istewart]

[ QUOTE ]
The Aristocrats!

[/ QUOTE ]

lol

[Victor]

i took some random girl home from a party with like 2 lines. on the way back i remember asking her name.

anyway, as im about to stick it in she says,"so, which hole you goin for."

quality girl there.

from then on she was referred to, by me and my friends, as, obviously, "which hole girl."

[tolbiny]

the answer to this is- 99.... and 100.

[rusellmj]

"Pretend that you love me."

[tdarko]

had a girl in the living room of my apartment when i went to ASU and my roomates were in the hallway videotaping. i was about to put it in when she looks kind of around me and says, "what is that red light?"

[LethalRose]

"Careful, im a virgin"

[PITTM]

is there really this much talk going on? i usually just hear "*moan*"... /images/graemlins/tongue.gif

rj

[Rduke55]

[ QUOTE ]
i took some random girl home from a party with like 2 lines. on the way back i remember asking her name.

anyway, as im about to stick it in she says,"so, which hole you goin for."

quality girl there.

from then on she was referred to, by me and my friends, as, obviously, "which hole girl."

[/ QUOTE ]

Now that's a assy girl

[erby]

Drunk as hell on the couch in her dorm room (or so i thought):

"Hmm...I really like how you decorated your room"

ERBY /images/graemlins/spade.gif

[billymonk]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I've heard that one too. I've also heard, "Here put this red towel under my ass."

[/ QUOTE ]
That's [censored] gross if it means what I think it means.

[/ QUOTE ]

There was no parting of the Red Sea that night. /images/graemlins/tongue.gif

[/ QUOTE ]

If the red river's flowin', take the dirt path.

[pokerdirty]

"We aren't done yet..."

when you are drunk and you've already been doing it for 2 hours...

[Slow Play Ray]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
i took some random girl home from a party with like 2 lines. on the way back i remember asking her name.

anyway, as im about to stick it in she says,"so, which hole you goin for."

quality girl there.

from then on she was referred to, by me and my friends, as, obviously, "which hole girl."

[/ QUOTE ]

Now that's a assy girl

[/ QUOTE ]

Can't tell if this is a typo or what you were trying to say? /images/graemlins/confused.gif Either way, very fitting! /images/graemlins/grin.gif

[jakethebake]

[ QUOTE ]
"Pretend that you love me."

[/ QUOTE ]

Nice.

[jakethebake]

[ QUOTE ]
anyway, as im about to stick it in she says,"so, which hole you goin for."

quality girl there.

[/ QUOTE ]

Nice!

"You've got a huge cock and I want to eat your dick like it's a TV dinner. "

"I'm a lesbian and I like to eat ass."

[ QUOTE ]
"dont tell mom and dad"

[/ QUOTE ]

Um. Wow.

[Sponger15SB]

[ QUOTE ]
"I want to eat your dick like it's a TV dinner."

[/ QUOTE ]

This would totally freak me out.

[PorscheNGuns]

[ QUOTE ]
you win


[/ QUOTE ]

times a thousand

"we don't accept checks"

[Klepton]

this might not be the worst i've heard, but it's definitely the strangest / awesomest:

"if i start getting loud, punch me in the face."

[DavidC]

[ QUOTE ]
this might not be the worst i've heard, but it's definitely the strangest / awesomest:

"if i start getting loud, punch me in the face."

[/ QUOTE ]

Best reply ever (stone cold straight face), "Oh, that's what I was going to do anyways."

[bugstud]

[ QUOTE ]
this might not be the worst i've heard, but it's definitely the strangest / awesomest:

"if i start getting loud, punch me in the face."

[/ QUOTE ]

did you?

[Klepton]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
this might not be the worst i've heard, but it's definitely the strangest / awesomest:

"if i start getting loud, punch me in the face."

[/ QUOTE ]

did you?

[/ QUOTE ]

yes

[bugstud]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
this might not be the worst i've heard, but it's definitely the strangest / awesomest:

"if i start getting loud, punch me in the face."

[/ QUOTE ]

did you?

[/ QUOTE ]

yes

[/ QUOTE ]

/images/graemlins/shocked.gif

[Klepton]

did i really end the thread with that post?

[ethan]

[ QUOTE ]
this might not be the worst i've heard, but it's definitely the strangest / awesomest:

"if i start getting loud, punch me in the face."

[/ QUOTE ]

Similar quote from a girl who wanted me to choke her:
"It's ok if I pass out, you can finish"

[whiskeytown]

I have no problem with the kinky stuff (bondage is a big turn on for me) - but choking someone, I don't think I could do -

it's like - here I am trying to bump and grind meanwhile I'm killing the person I'm going at it with - nah....inflicting pain on others sorta kills the mood for me...

RB

[jakethebake]

[ QUOTE ]
Similar quote from a girl who wanted me to choke her:
"It's ok if I pass out, you can finish"

[/ QUOTE ]

This whole thread is awesome. it just keeps getting better too.

[craig r]

"Do you think this is going to affect your relationship with my son?"

"How come you want me to wear this bag on my head?"

craig

[LethalRose]

"mounting me is completely safe, just dont fall off the bed"

[MyTurn2Raise]

Huh...Never know who gets one


Is my roommate prettier?

[Jdanz]

wow

[malokoman]

"hey, you're the catcher tonight"

[JaBlue]

[ QUOTE ]


I have big hands.

[/ QUOTE ]

so you wear big gloves?

/images/graemlins/confused.gif /images/graemlins/confused.gif /images/graemlins/confused.gif

[CardSharpCook]

"Its OK if I don't come."

[CardSharpCook]

"Do you think your Mom likes me?"

[Rick Diesel]

How about best and worst at the same time:

Ugly chick with hot body: Do you want to fcuk me doggy style?

Me: Hell yeah

Her: Yeah, I don't understand why, but all the guys that I have hooked up with always want to bang me from behind

Me: That's because they don't want to look at your face.

Her: I think it's time for you to leave.

Shut down that night, I still ended up banging her two nights later when I was even drunker.

[jakethebake]

[ QUOTE ]
Shut down that night, I still ended up banging her two nights later when I was even drunker.

[/ QUOTE ]

the best part...lol

[Tailgunner]

[ QUOTE ]
"You've got a huge cock and I want to eat your dick like it's a TV dinner. "

[/ QUOTE ]

Great, let me turn on the game.

[Rduke55]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
i took some random girl home from a party with like 2 lines. on the way back i remember asking her name.

anyway, as im about to stick it in she says,"so, which hole you goin for."

quality girl there.

from then on she was referred to, by me and my friends, as, obviously, "which hole girl."

[/ QUOTE ]

Now that's a assy girl

[/ QUOTE ]

Can't tell if this is a typo or what you were trying to say? /images/graemlins/confused.gif Either way, very fitting! /images/graemlins/grin.gif

[/ QUOTE ]

Should read "Classy"
Take that one home to meet momma.

[arod15]

[ QUOTE ]
"Careful. We don't want to make a little 'Eva'"

Her name was Eva, BTW.

I had to stop right there - no condoms, no way of getting any.

[/ QUOTE ]

"Wow why you getting that?" "Havent Used one of those in a while".... Of course I still did it.....

[arod15]

One last one. I was banging a girl and she said put it in my ass. So I tried but it was too tight. Then she asked "Do you have KY?" no "What about some butter" What the hell did I do. Its a wonder I dont have AIDS yet.....

[jakethebake]

[ QUOTE ]
One last one. I was banging a girl and she said put it in my ass. So I tried but it was too tight. Then she asked "Do you have KY?" no "What about some butter" What the hell did I do. Its a wonder I dont have AIDS yet.....

[/ QUOTE ]

Why would you get AIDS from butter?

[arod15]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
One last one. I was banging a girl and she said put it in my ass. So I tried but it was too tight. Then she asked "Do you have KY?" no "What about some butter" What the hell did I do. Its a wonder I dont have AIDS yet.....

[/ QUOTE ]

Why would you get AIDS from butter?

[/ QUOTE ]

Refering to girl who wants it so bad from the back that she will use butter to lube it up. Some History this girl is a complete whore. College was money......

[Brad22]

[ QUOTE ]
"Do you love me?"

[/ QUOTE ]

lmao

[Luv2DriveTT]

No Love Without the Glove

[jakethebake]

[ QUOTE ]
No Love Without the Glove

[/ QUOTE ]

She used those words?