Notice of Funeral Services...Film at 11...

Funeral services were held for hundreds of troops this morning in Naperville, IL. These smartly dressed Chips, all dressed in red, were slaughter by inferior leadership Saturday evening. The battle took place on shores of Lake Michigan, where pirates stormed the docked boat in East Chicago, IN. Positioned in the ten seat with his troops was General Suburban Poker Man. His mission was simple, stop the pirates from raping and pillaging, take poisoners and recruit them into SPM battalion.


After failing his mission miserably, the SPM was court marshaled, found guilty of tilting and sentenced to lost rank and pay. Private SPM declined an interview with CNN, but did ask if they had any job openings.


Witnesses said the General held the pirates at bay for several hours beating them senseless with a Marine tactic called retrograde. The Supply Officer Captain Dealer kept sending orders for General SPM and his Chip troops to advance to the rear and release (retrograde). With 4-6 callers in a mostly passive pre-flop arrangement, the SPM was hot to trot, to get into the heat of the battle. However, orders are orders.


Finally Captain Dealer sends the SPM a tank loaded with lots of rockets. Capped with 7 unorganized pirates in the fight. With a cloud of smoke and a hiho silver, at the end of the skirmish the pirate wearing the fancy button and dressed in a 53 suited won, they call it, flopping the nuts. The treasure chest was filled with five new stacks of pirate recruits. Turns out one of the other pre-flop raises was also issued a tank with lots of rockets. It was shortly after that fiasco that the General took his troop across the Tilt Swamps hoping to catch the pirates off guard. The pirates saw him coming and in the last skirmish one of them pre-flop raised with a 10 8 double suited, which crushed the SPM's AJ when the flop came J 10 10. Unable to figure out which way was up, the SPM was defeated and sent back to his quarters with an armed escort. Unconfirmed reports say Captain Dealer was found beaten and unconscious in the parking lot.


SPM,...ain't these %$&%* Hold'em Wars fun... :-/

The Grieving X-General...


How could I have been so careless with lives of my Chips. Every Chip to a man, would have paid for my breakfast, if I had only let them live. Did I care if those brave Chips had plans of their own, like raising a family of hybrid unbeatable Chips. Is that possible? Maybe I could get my commission back, raise another army, be all that I can be...


SPM,...you can only grieve for so long...

Send your tired, your weak, worn out old George Washington's to the non profit organization "Raise and Army for a Dummy." Send those weak bucks to, ray z at 2+2.com he'll know what to do with them.


These raw recruits will be part of a non sponsored government research project for breeding hybrid unbeatable Chips. All donations will probably not receive any rewards other than a full disclosure on how to breed your own hybrid unbeatable Chips. Remember, when you seed research, you clear the rail...


SPM,...this was a paid political message from ray z... :-)


2+2.com disclaims any knowledge of ray z or his whereabouts.

taken over spm...this is a true horror show...gotta slow down basement man...gl

SPM,


One more response to your own post and you may be confined to the brig with our other initialized poster of some repute, namely M.


John

hey john, lay off the poor guy. he likes to hear himself talk by responding to his own posts. but he finally came to a good cause. asking people to send me money. i like that.

...think of the time saved for the rest of us. If SPM responds to his own posts, we won't have to...

...but I'll go you one step further. If we can find evidence that SPM is not only reponding to his own posts, but actually READING them in the first place, we won't have to and the time savings will be astronomical! You'll have time to macrame that garage for Vince's bus like you've always wanted.

Packerfan1's troops were terrified enough as it was. Marching into the battle that is the 10-20 game at Harrah's with pitifully little backup and no experience at this level of war.


But with the 4-8 battlefields full (of pirates who have utterly decimated PFs troops in 2001) and a waiting line that Disneyworld would be proud of, their not exactly fearless leader signed them all up for the 10-20 draft.


The pirates in the feeder game couldn't help but laugh as the tiny army of two and a half stacks entered the battlefield, probably sensing the fact that it represented over half of PF's forces.


Surely it would be a slaughter.


PF's troops were dismayed when the two of them were thrust early into battle after several pirates had already decided to fight. "He must have Aces to get involved this early" the troops muttered to bolster their courage... When the flop came 569 double suited, the pirates fired two, then four red troops into the fray before it got to PF. The troops prayed for a fold until communication came to the front line. "He has 78 Suited!". The troops roared and six of them flew into battle, fearing only another diamond. But the Lord did grin, and only black cards came, and suddenly PF's army had doubled in size. And they did feast on carp and antelope and anchovies and breakfast cereals and..


Sorry. Anyways... on to SPM's troops.


After surviving the battles at Feedergame. PF's troops were summond to the main battlefield. There, battle hardened warriors waited to capture PF's inexperienced troops.


As the troops were being aligned, their leader heard the 10 seat make a comment about "returning to the Valley". Could this be the infamous VoP? Could this be SPM? No, No! Not with the piece of cheese he just won that battle with! But when the tip to Captain Dealer was sent in it's own miniture private car...PF knew. His troops were on highest alert.


Our forces did not clash that day as I watched SPM's forces captured by several group pirate attacks and the occasional departure of their leader from the VoP.


Although PF's army grew to seven stacks before being sent home on monthly leave. They will not forget the horrors that they witnessed on the battlefield that day.


And tears were shed for SPM's troops... because none of them joined PF's forces, which would have been a much better place than where they are now.


Michael

And they did feast on carp and antelope and anchovies and breakfast cereals and..


I thought Packerfans subsisted on cheese...

another spm is born....jmho..gl

When you are commanding a Red army, you must use the techniques that are effective on reds. Survivors of failed campaigns must be punished. They must go to reeducation camps until they understand. Their families must also suffer. No housing or jobs for families of the failures. You must rule by force and fear when commanding Reds. Also, they will desert at every opportunity, figuring an enemy prison is better than life behind your lines.

to play a different game. Usually, there are a lot of good stud games on that Harrah's Pirate ship, sometimes even some juicy Omaha 8. Pick up The 2+2 7CS Book. I don't know how much longer you are going to survive just playing hold'em.


Good Luck


Mark

no joke..i was thinking exactly the same thing...he should get down to tunica and get in the 7cs8o 500 tourney at the shoe...hey if spm is in...i might not finish last...lol..gl