How much to be an assassin?

[Michael Emery]

So how much would someone have to pay you to be an assassin? I realize for most people the answer would probably be "there is no amount". But surely some must have their price. So lets hear it. We'll assume the following:

A mob boss comes up to you and is willing to pay you "x" dollars to commit a hit, using any weapon of choice, which he will kindly provide. The hit is not difficult. The target is an 80 year old woman who lives by herself in an isolated house. The house has no security alarm and she is not a gun owner. Bottom line, its a piece of cake. What is "x" dollars for you? Be honest.....

Mike Emery

[Matador225]

As I have often pondered over this very question, I will give you my well thought out answer...No I'm just kidding. I honestly don't think I would do it for any price but perhaps if I were to actually see the money in bill form in a briefcase right in front of me I would reconsider.

[JoshuaD]

I seriously think I'd opt out. I'm the sort of guy who will do anything for money, but I think this is something I'd regret forever.

[PLOlover]

[ QUOTE ]
No women, no children.

[/ QUOTE ]

I guess 2 months ago I would have said nothing. But, now, I don't know, maybe 3-4 eight balls. Actually, make it 2 and it is done.

t.b.

p.s. I am teasing. Might as well make fun of my problem.

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
No women, no children.

[/ QUOTE ]

[/ QUOTE ]

yeah, there much better off left here to do the grieving and suffering

[Michael Davis]

It varies depending on how likely I am to get caught, but I'd take out pretty much anyone for 200k. This old lady, 50k and maybe even less.

-Michael

[pearljam]

I would do it for $300,000, enough to significantly change my life.

[Luzion]

[ QUOTE ]
It varies depending on how likely I am to get caught, but I'd take out pretty much anyone for 200k. This old lady, 50k and maybe even less.

-Michael

[/ QUOTE ]

No need to include any "guilt" factor? You wouldnt blink an eye to kill an old lady or a young kid?

[Michael Davis]

"No need to include any "guilt" factor? You wouldnt blink an eye to kill an old lady or a young kid?"

I would feel guilty, sure. I don't understand why I should feel worse for killing a little kid than a grown man, however. I never understood that.

-Michael

[jokerthief]

$12

[Luzion]

[ QUOTE ]
I would feel guilty, sure. I don't understand why I should feel worse for killing a little kid than a grown man, however. I never understood that.

[/ QUOTE ]

Im just asking from the viewpoint of this being our first kill, so the guilt may play a bigger factor. You are right of course, if you have already decided to kill someone, then you shouldnt be too worried about something as small as guilt.

And boy, if you cant figure out why you are "supposed" to feel more guilty for killing a kid instead of a grown man then maybe you really have it in you! Even Tony Montana couldnt handle blowing up that car with the wife and kids in it.

[ScottyP431]

I think there is a linear relationship between how much money would it take to kill someone, and how annoying/infuriating they are. It's a tough one for grannie because senior citizens, though slow and a danger behind the wheel, can still serve a purpose. As for a blanket price to kill someone, i would say whatever amount of money would allow me to fill a king sized bed with 100's to a height of around 10 inches, so i could then swim around in it saying "oh yes, kyles money, awesome". This price could easily be reduced if the mark in question:

-used the term "chillax"
-drove the speed limit in the fast lane
-watched the OC
-made horrible trades in online monopoly allowing the person clearly in last place to leap frog and win the game
-frequently displayed their "freestyle rap" skills while drunk and uninvited at my apartment
-preferred friends to seinfeld
-has ever said "the book was better" in response to the question, have you seen "x movie"
-has read a Harry potter book while they were an age >12
-was a female friend who frequently leans on you/holds your arm or hand/sits on your lap when you are talking to another girl, but wont take one for the team herself

If the person in question did any of those, and i was assured to get away with it, i would ask for gas money.. but not require it

[siccjay]

Awesome post. A+

[ucfryan]

Wouldn't do it for all the money in the world.

[fimbulwinter]

this post, minus the intro, made this thread worth reading.

fim

[Escape]

Old woman: 15k
Kids: Fun.

[CCass]

Private Joker - "How can you shoot women and children?"
Door Gunner - "Easy, you don't lead 'em so much (laughs)ain't war hell?"

[tolbiny]

No greater good here? with that kind of cash you could prevent hndreds of murders/deaths.

[BeerMoney]

This is the best post I've read on 2+2 in a while.

Mike, I wouldn't kill someone for any amount of $$.

I'm not going to say the guilt would overwhelm me, but it could. I would never ever risk spending a lifetime in jail either. There's no price that makes that punishment worth it.

You suck.

Beer$$

[TheWorstPlayer]

There is no question that for $1MM I am hitting the bitch like there's no tomorrow. And I would very seriously consider doing it for less. Perhaps even half as much. Right now that money would make a big difference in my life and killing some stupid old hag won't.

[jackdaniels]

[ QUOTE ]
Wouldn't do it for all the money in the world.

[/ QUOTE ]

EVER.

[lucas9000]

potd. you and gorie should mate to produce the interweb forum messiah.

[poker-penguin]

I'll pay $5000 now, give me a year to get the rest together if you want more.

Ohh, you mean people get PAID for assasinations? Me and Fat Tony have got to have a talk.

[sexdrugsmoney]

[ QUOTE ]
So how much would someone have to pay you to be an assassin? I realize for most people the answer would probably be "there is no amount". But surely some must have their price. So lets hear it. We'll assume the following:

A mob boss comes up to you and is willing to pay you "x" dollars to commit a hit, using any weapon of choice, which he will kindly provide. The hit is not difficult. The target is an 80 year old woman who lives by herself in an isolated house. The house has no security alarm and she is not a gun owner. Bottom line, its a piece of cake. What is "x" dollars for you? Be honest.....

Mike Emery

[/ QUOTE ]

I've pondered this question many a time wishing to lead this lifestyle.

What's not to love? (Grosse Point Blank was a great movie!)

But there's a lil' verse in the Bible that says something to the effect of:

"what good is it if a man gains the whole world but loses his own soul?"

And *sigh* it's right. /images/graemlins/frown.gif

[AZK]

How many professional assassins do you know? Do these jobs even really exist? Come back from movie land.

[swede123]

[ QUOTE ]
How many professional assassins do you know? Do these jobs even really exist? Come back from movie land.

[/ QUOTE ]

How many supermodels do I know? Yet I enjoy talking about tiny flaws in their bodies and why I'd reject them. Realism is not a prerequisite for picking topics for OOT discussions.

Swede

[PocketJokers72]

[ QUOTE ]
I think there is a linear relationship between how much money would it take to kill someone, and how annoying/infuriating they are. It's a tough one for grannie because senior citizens, though slow and a danger behind the wheel, can still serve a purpose. As for a blanket price to kill someone, i would say whatever amount of money would allow me to fill a king sized bed with 100's to a height of around 10 inches, so i could then swim around in it saying "oh yes, kyles money, awesome". This price could easily be reduced if the mark in question:

-used the term "chillax"
-drove the speed limit in the fast lane
-watched the OC
-made horrible trades in online monopoly allowing the person clearly in last place to leap frog and win the game
-frequently displayed their "freestyle rap" skills while drunk and uninvited at my apartment
-preferred friends to seinfeld
-has ever said "the book was better" in response to the question, have you seen "x movie"
-has read a Harry potter book while they were an age >12
-was a female friend who frequently leans on you/holds your arm or hand/sits on your lap when you are talking to another girl, but wont take one for the team herself

If the person in question did any of those, and i was assured to get away with it, i would ask for gas money.. but not require it

[/ QUOTE ]

I think I know someone that, by using your equation, you would actually OWE me money after you killed them.

[imported_The Vibesman]

A lot of it would depend on the job, but I think $50,000 is a good starting point.

[tolbiny]

Do i get to have sex with her corpse?
Its all about the fringe benefits.

[imported_The Vibesman]

[ QUOTE ]
Do i get to have sex with her corpse?
Its all about the fringe benefits.

[/ QUOTE ]

Best answer by far, IMO.

[CanKid]

[ QUOTE ]
I don't understand why I should feel worse for killing a little kid than a grown man, however. I never understood that.

[/ QUOTE ]

This reminds me of the scene in Private Parts when Howard is going on about a grenade kill in a school, and how a kill is a kill.

[flatline]

[ QUOTE ]
This is the best post I've read on 2+2 in a while.

Mike, I wouldn't kill someone for any amount of $$.

I'm not going to say the guilt would overwhelm me, but it could. I would never ever risk spending a lifetime in jail either. There's no price that makes that punishment worth it.

You suck.

Beer$$

[/ QUOTE ]

For the purpose of the question, I think you should assume that you have no chance of getting caught.

As for me, I would have to get something in the millions, because I would have to give a ton to charity to think I overwhealmingly counterbalanced the harm I did.

For those who say that they would not do it for any amount of money, are you using the "going to hell" logic? If not, you are talking nonsense. You wouldn't do it for $10 trillion? An amount of money that would allow you to save/improve countless lives?

[TheBlueMonster]

[ QUOTE ]
Quote:

No women, no children.



[/ QUOTE ]
Kind of ironic that someone with the name "PLOlover" would quote that line.

[swede123]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Quote:

No women, no children.



[/ QUOTE ]
Kind of ironic that someone with the name "PLOlover" would quote that line.

[/ QUOTE ]

It'd be a hell of a lot more ironic if this was a "Arafat is the greatest" message board rather than a poker board.

Swede

[-Skeme-]

[ QUOTE ]
Kind of ironic that someone with the name "PLOlover" would quote that line.

[/ QUOTE ]

I don't get it.

[TheBlueMonster]

[ QUOTE ]

Quote:

Quote:

Quote:

No women, no children.




Kind of ironic that someone with the name "PLOlover" would quote that line.



It'd be a hell of a lot more ironic if this was a "Arafat is the greatest" message board rather than a poker board.

[/ QUOTE ]

Obviously. But such a potentially incendiary screen name begs attention.

[TheWorstPlayer]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Kind of ironic that someone with the name "PLOlover" would quote that line.

[/ QUOTE ]

I don't get it.

[/ QUOTE ]
PLO on Google (http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&q=PLO)

[Shajen]

Yes, because Pot Limit Omaha is a firestorm in the religious world.

[TheBlueMonster]

[ QUOTE ]
PLO on Google

[/ QUOTE ]

It basically was a terrorist organization (think the forerunner for Al Qaida) that masquerading as a "liberating force" .....in case you don't read all the entries

[TheWorstPlayer]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
PLO on Google

[/ QUOTE ]

It basically was a terrorist organization (think the forerunner for Al Qaida) that masquerading as a "liberating force" .....in case you don't read all the entries

[/ QUOTE ]
I know all about it. My post was showing him how easily he could have found the answer to his question.

[TheBlueMonster]

[ QUOTE ]
Yes, because Pot Limit Omaha is a firestorm in the religious world.

[/ QUOTE ]
that's a good point. But the fact that I would even think of the terrorist PLO means that more thought should be taken in choosing a nickname.

[TheBlueMonster]

I know. I was just posting that in case people were too lazy to clikc on a link and read it (and just looked at the page summary)

[jaybee_70]

I'm one of the no amount guys.

Joe

[B Dids]

[ QUOTE ]
I think there is a linear relationship between how much money would it take to kill someone, and how annoying/infuriating they are. It's a tough one for grannie because senior citizens, though slow and a danger behind the wheel, can still serve a purpose. As for a blanket price to kill someone, i would say whatever amount of money would allow me to fill a king sized bed with 100's to a height of around 10 inches, so i could then swim around in it saying "oh yes, kyles money, awesome". This price could easily be reduced if the mark in question:

-used the term "chillax"
-drove the speed limit in the fast lane
-watched the OC
-made horrible trades in online monopoly allowing the person clearly in last place to leap frog and win the game
-frequently displayed their "freestyle rap" skills while drunk and uninvited at my apartment
-preferred friends to seinfeld
-has ever said "the book was better" in response to the question, have you seen "x movie"
-has read a Harry potter book while they were an age >12
-was a female friend who frequently leans on you/holds your arm or hand/sits on your lap when you are talking to another girl, but wont take one for the team herself

If the person in question did any of those, and i was assured to get away with it, i would ask for gas money.. but not require it

[/ QUOTE ]

This list would be more amusing if your attitude about about The OC and Harry Potter wasn't so damn clueless. Liking things that are fun is ok.

[-Skeme-]

[ QUOTE ]
I know all about it. My post was showing him how easily he could have found the answer to his question.

[/ QUOTE ]

Well I was trying to draw the connection between "no women, no children" and Pot Limit Omaha.

[poker-penguin]

[ QUOTE ]
the fact that I would even think of the terrorist PLO means I'm a moran

[/ QUOTE ]

FYP

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
No women, no children.

[/ QUOTE ]

[/ QUOTE ]

yeah, there much better off left here to do the grieving and suffering

[/ QUOTE ]

Yes, the certainly are.

OCW

[Blarg]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
PLO on Google

[/ QUOTE ]

It basically was a terrorist organization (think the forerunner for Al Qaida) that masquerading as a "liberating force" .....in case you don't read all the entries

[/ QUOTE ]
I know all about it. My post was showing him how easily he could have found the answer to his question.

[/ QUOTE ]

Boy was that ever a terrible definition.

[Blarg]

I'm the kind of guy who would get killed rather than paid the money, so it's out of the question in the first place. Or even if I got paid and the money could never be gotten back from me, killed just to eliminate a traceable "witness." Or just to help zero in someone's gunsights, or just on principle. So this kind of deal is out before any moral questions on my part even come up.

[jakethebake]

This depends entirely on why she needs to die.

[BusterStacks]

If I could some how be assured that there was no legal risk, I would charge half a million dollars (if untaxed) per hit. The target or reason does not matter, provdided it is not a kid.

[jakethebake]

[ QUOTE ]
If I could some how be assured that there was no legal risk, I would charge half a million dollars (if untaxed) per hit. The target or reason does not matter, provdided it is not a kid.

[/ QUOTE ]

i'm pretty sure assassin income would be unreportable.

[TheWorstPlayer]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
If I could some how be assured that there was no legal risk, I would charge half a million dollars (if untaxed) per hit. The target or reason does not matter, provdided it is not a kid.

[/ QUOTE ]

i'm pretty sure assassin income would be unreportable.

[/ QUOTE ]
This is incorrect.

[ddubois]

For innocent old lady, I'd need 7 figures.

For the guy who goes over into the merge land, zooms up, then cuts me off, I'd need $10.

[meep_42]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
i'm pretty sure assassin income would be unreportable.

[/ QUOTE ]
This is incorrect.

[/ QUOTE ]

If I had nothing to lose with an IRS investigation, i'd consider putting 'assassin' as my occupation on next year's tax return.

-d

[swede123]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
i'm pretty sure assassin income would be unreportable.

[/ QUOTE ]
This is incorrect.

[/ QUOTE ]

If I had nothing to lose with an IRS investigation, i'd consider putting 'assassin' as my occupation on next year's tax return.

-d

[/ QUOTE ]

I'd love to see your itemized deductions for work-related expenses.

Swede

[gabbahh]

I'd kill Georgie Bush for free.

[Blarg]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
If I could some how be assured that there was no legal risk, I would charge half a million dollars (if untaxed) per hit. The target or reason does not matter, provdided it is not a kid.

[/ QUOTE ]

i'm pretty sure assassin income would be unreportable.

[/ QUOTE ]
This is incorrect.

[/ QUOTE ]

It is in Canada and New Zealand.

[TheWorstPlayer]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
If I could some how be assured that there was no legal risk, I would charge half a million dollars (if untaxed) per hit. The target or reason does not matter, provdided it is not a kid.

[/ QUOTE ]

i'm pretty sure assassin income would be unreportable.

[/ QUOTE ]
This is incorrect.

[/ QUOTE ]

It is in Canada and New Zealand.

[/ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Illegal income. Illegal income, such as money from dealing illegal drugs, must be included in your income on Form 1040, line 21, or on Schedule C or Schedule C-EZ (Form 1040) if from your self-employment activity.

[/ QUOTE ]
- http://www.irs.gov/publications/p17/ch13.html

[jackdaniels]

[ QUOTE ]
Illegal income. Illegal income, such as money from dealing illegal drugs, must be included in your income on Form 1040, line 21, or on Schedule C or Schedule C-EZ (Form 1040) if from your self-employment activity.

[/ QUOTE ]

Thats crazy bro!

[poker-penguin]

Yep, it's true. I was discussing online poker with a purveyor of fine horticultural products with whom I happened to be aquainted. I said "...and I don't pay tax"

His response "bro, I pay my taxes - the IRD can [censored] you up worse than the police"

So yes, income from ilegal sources is taxable. That year, I declared all my cashouts as "income from other sources" and wrote "selling weed" as the explanation.

See, the law is that while you have to pay taxes on ilegal income, they can't share your info with the police. [censored] up? Maybe, but with the size of the drug economy in NZ, it's necessary.