Naked and Homeless and Friendless in central park

[Jdanz]

If you woke up naked in central park, nyc what would you do?

conditions:
you have no connections, you have to rely on yourself alone, no calling anyone, it's an alternate universe where you are exactly the same but you don't know anyone, or have a past history just your knowledge/skills/abilities/etc.

I'm looking for a plan, not just first action, but i'll listen to various responses.

[NorCalJosh]

steal a gun

shoot myself

[YourFoxyGrandma]

No [censored] idea.

[Jdanz]

I bet there's way less difficult ways to kill yourself

[Phoenix1010]

Go into a bar Terminator 2 style and tell some guy to give me his clothes and kick him into a grill if he doesn't comply. Rob the first guy I see who looks like he might be a douchebag, if no douchebags come by, just the first wealthy looking guy. Try to avoid going to jail. Take douchebag's money to poker room. Get rich.

[handsome]

"Excuse me! Excuse me. (YES!) Sorry to bother you.. This might sound a little strange, but I just woke up without any clothes on. Do you think you can give me that extra shirt you're wearing?"

Repeat with pants and you're pretty much set to find a job.

[handsome]

[ QUOTE ]
Go into a bar Terminator 2 style and tell some guy to give me his clothes and kick him into a grill if he doesn't comply. Rob the first guy I see who looks like he might be a douchebag, if no douchebags come by, just the first wealthy looking guy. Try to avoid going to jail. Take douchebag's money to poker room. Get rich.

[/ QUOTE ]

I take back my reply. This is the obvious correct answer.

[rusellmj]

Rub one out, go back to sleep.

[Godfather80]

[ QUOTE ]
If you woke up naked in central park, nyc what would you do?

conditions:
you have no connections, you have to rely on yourself alone, no calling anyone, it's an alternate universe where you are exactly the same but you don't know anyone, or have a past history just your knowledge/skills/abilities/etc.

I'm looking for a plan, not just first action, but i'll listen to various responses.

[/ QUOTE ]

So, you don't know anybody and nobody knows you. This is a videogame setup. Do whatever the [censored] you want. This is some people's idea of heaven.

[stanky]

I'd be screwed because I've never been to NY. So I would find the hottest girl I could with a nice ass and start dry humping her. She would call the police and they would arrest me but at the same time provide me with clothing, food , and shelter. Eventually I would be let out of jail with my new duds and a full stomach. The rest would be easy.

[YourFoxyGrandma]

[ QUOTE ]
"Excuse me! Excuse me. (YES!) Sorry to bother you.. This might sound a little strange, but I just woke up without any clothes on. Do you think you can give me that extra shirt you're wearing?"

Repeat with pants and you're pretty much set to find a job.

[/ QUOTE ]

Why aren't you asking for pants first?

[Jdanz]

yeah but in this game you can only do it once.

[whiskeytown]

I'd find clothes, (tell the cops someone stole them) - hitchhike back to Minneapolis, apply for the open position we have, and pick up where I left off -

then I'd find my ex GF who broke up with me and I'd meet her all over again and try again and see if I could avoid making the same mistakes I made the first time -

RB

[Jdanz]

in my mind it's a world where you never existed.

[ghostface]

[ QUOTE ]
Rub one out, go back to sleep.

[/ QUOTE ]

Ding, ding, ding!

[Eurotrash]

[ QUOTE ]
Why aren't you asking for pants first?

[/ QUOTE ]


it's puzzling, isn't it?

[x2ski]

[ QUOTE ]
If you woke up naked in central park, nyc what would you do?

conditions:
you have no connections, you have to rely on yourself alone, no calling anyone, it's an alternate universe where you are exactly the same but you don't know anyone, or have a past history just your knowledge/skills/abilities/etc.

I'm looking for a plan, not just first action, but i'll listen to various responses.

[/ QUOTE ]

Unfortunately, I believe the first matter of course would be to kill a bum for clothes , and whatever else he has on him.

Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not much for killing... but, given these circumstances, people have to die. And if you must kill, a bum is the most ethical way to go. Christ, they're practically begging to die as it is.

After offing the bum and working the kinks out of my new digs, it's time to make some friends. Unfortunately, you can't have friends without money. Thus, more people need to die.

In this situation, we have options, but it's all about expected value (called "EV" in other forums). The expected value of offing more bums is barely over zero, but in the long-run, a pos-ev situation will net enough cash to make some friends.

However, risking short-term variance, you can off any well-to-do-looking individual with a much higher expected return. The question is:

Will offing one hundred bums net me a greater cash-to-jail ratio than offing just a few rich dudes?

If you off the right rich dude, you might be able to buy a house... So, the moral of the story is:

Kill rich people.

Then your new friends have somewhere to crash.

Try and rob a bank and then try and make it to canada. if it works u will b set for a while and if it doesnt work then u will b in jail which is a lot better situation then u r in right now besides the showering in there of course. it is a win win situation.