Argument over $15 (long)

[handsome]

Last semester in May, I needed a place to dump some of my stuff for the summer, so that it would be here when I moved back to college. I inquired about storage at storage centers and they gave me prices liek $30/mo, which comes out to $120. That is too much for storing winter clothes and a coffee table.

So I asked a friend "J" if I could leave my stuff at his vacant 1BR and he said sure. However, in a couple of weeks he'd have to move everything out of that 1BR into a 3BR apt nearby. So the couple of weeks pass by and he calls me up saying we had to move our stuff. I say no problem, and we plan to leave with one of his future housemates and a good friend of mine "H," who also has some clothes/books/chair there.

When we get to school, unbeknownst to myself and H, we have to move C's stuff as well. "C" is J's girlfriend and has a SH!TLOAD of stuff, very heavy and unorganized. Anyway, J lets us know he is renting a Uhaul truck for all his furniture, and while he's busy packing his clothes, H and I bring the Uhaul back and start loading. We'd later find out that the rental fee would be $45 and some change.

Both the former apartment and new apartment were on the 3rd floor, so there was a lot of hauling up and down stairs. It took about 10 hours of manual labor in 95 degree weather (humid) to pack/unpack everything. The stairs killed my legs, the lifting killed my arms and back, and needless to say my muscles were sore for a week.

J decides to treat us to sandwiches at Subway for helping him move his entire apartment. That was nice of him. Anyway, at the end of our trip, H asks me for $15, my share of the Uhaul. I politely refuse. We don't discuss it, maybe because we're all tired, and don't mention it for a few months.

July comes by, I send an IM to H to check up on things and he asks me for the $15 again. I explained to him that I shouldn't have to pay because J was the one who needed it, not me, and because there was never any discussion of me paying for it beforehand. Anyway, we both forget about it until today.

He asks me for the $15 again, obviously because he is short $15. He had contributed $15, J had contributed $15 and he was looking for my contribution. I don't feel like I owe that money.

On one hand, I feel I owe something because I was using their apartment for storage, which would have cost me $120, but on the other hand, I feel I helped J enough by moving his entire apartment as well as C's stuff. Had I known I had to spend an entire day moving stuff, I would have opted to pay the $120, since my hourly rate is higher than that. Anyway, I just wanted to see what you guys would do in my situation. All three of us are pretty well off in terms of money.

[jakethebake]

i didnt read a single word of this, but pay the $15.

[spamuell]

Pay him, it's not like he let you use his apartment with the intention of scamming you into helping him move his stuff and having you pay a third of the U-Haul costs, he was being generous and yeah it was good of you to help him carry stuff for a day, but it doesn't mean you are exempt from paying the money.

You could look at this tons of ways and it's very easy to argue that you have no obligation to pay him, but they guy let you store stuff in his apartment, don't be a douche, you're fairly well off, just pay him $15 and stop being such a tight wad.

[HopeydaFish]

I would have paid the $15 in the first place, but told him what a douche he is as I was handing over the money.

I couldn't imagine keeping friends who are this cheap.

[jdl22]

my guess is you have money from playing [censored]. He probably doesn't until he gets his financial aid or whatever. Pay him his money.

"There's a debate over $15, and I have to choose between losing my bankroll or my friend. Help."

tl;dr

[handsome]

[ QUOTE ]
my guess is you have money from playing [censored]. He probably doesn't until he gets his financial aid or whatever. Pay him his money.

[/ QUOTE ]

Naw, I said we are all well off financially. H kills shorthanded 100nl. You guys seriously would pay the $15 after the 10 hours of mexican labor?

[spamuell]

You guys seriously would pay the $15 after 10 hours of mexican labor?

He let you store stuff in his apartment, and it just seems such a silly thing to argue about.

[Nathan183]

J sounds like a douchebag. As a matter of principle, you shouldn't pay. Realistically, it might just be easier to pay the jackass.

[slickpoppa]

[ QUOTE ]
I would have opted to pay the $120, since my hourly rate is higher than that. Anyway, I just wanted to see what you guys would do in my situation. All three of us are pretty well off in terms of money.



[/ QUOTE ]

What the hell is wrong with you people? If all that is true, he is cheap for asking for the 15, you are cheap for not paying, and he is even more cheap for asking for it several times.

[Huskiez]

I personally think you should not have to pay anything, and that J or H should put in because they will be the ones using the furniture so they should pay the cost for moving it.

Did you move any of your stuff in the UHaul by the way? If you did not, there is no way I would chip in for the UHaul.

Then again, it appears you were able to keep your stuff at J's for free, so maybe just treat the $15 like it was for storage.

Personally, I think you're getting the worst of this deal because helping people move is absolutely awful -- I hate it, a lot. Figure out a solution to this though. Don't put it off and have your friend have to remember again to ask.

[The Ocho]

Dude, it's only 15 bucks. If there is a story this long (I didn't read it) both parties must be at least partially wrong and both are definitely completely retarded.

Just buy him a case of nice-ish beer, and then drink them with him. Argument done. Friendship or whatever saved. Find better things to worry about.

[STLantny]

Ill give you both 15$ if you both quit being cheap bastards, and learn how to live life the right way.

[gorie]

wow, of course you should pay. he was being pretty generous to let you store your stuff in his place for free, the least you can do is pay $15 to transfer some of it. that just seems ridiculous to refuse when he asks for $15 towards the uhaul.

if i'm understanding it right - YOUR stuff was being moved too right ? why shouldn't you contribute ? it's not like they're obligated to move your stuff for you or to store it, they're doing you a favor.

you're being ungrateful and cheap, it's only $15. like you said he saved you from having to spend $120 storing it yourself.

dumb thing to be stubborn about or start a fight over.

[blendedsuit]

dont pay him, and write him off as a friend. You guys obviously have minimal communication, he used you for a full day of moving where you should get payed $200+. He isn't worth your trouble. [censored] him

[STLantny]

In all honesty, if you want to be a dik, just ask to be paid for helping him move.

[uw_madtown]

Two ways to look at it:

1) You were generous in helping him move, he didn't ask if you wanted to chip in on the U-Haul and your stuff didn't necessitate the use of one. On principle, don't pay.

2) You would have paid way more in storage, you both make enough money that $15 is practically nothing, stop being cheap and pay your friend.


The correct answer:

If his friendship is worth $15, pay him the piddling money and move on.

If his friendship isn't worth $15, refuse to pay out of principal, get your [censored] back and consider him a friend no more.




Most friends I'd ask to store [censored] with are worth $15, but I don't know how well you know this guy. He very well might not be worth the $15, although keep in mind he also has your stuff.

[PLOlover]

Obviously there's only one way to settle this.

Whoever was the third guy in the Uhaul fiasco, you two give him 30 each, he's dealer and floorman, and you two play a freezeout. Oh and winner gets paid 30 from dealer.

So basically you are both paying dealer 15 to win 15 from buddy.

Now that is fair. Fair is fair.

[imported_anacardo]

Is everybody missing the part about OP working like a [censored] coolie for the privilege of a [censored] Subway sandwich? If anything, OP should be the creditor in this deal. I can't imagine being friends with someone like this. If it's really worth it to him, I guess he should pay him and then ask him what the hell his problem is.

[zoomOut]

[ QUOTE ]
Ill give you both 15$ if you both quit being cheap bastards, and learn how to live life the right way.

[/ QUOTE ]

Funniest thing I've read all night

[gorie]

[ QUOTE ]
Is everybody missing the part about OP working like a [censored] coolie for the privilege of a [censored] Subway sandwich? If anything, OP should be the creditor in this deal. I can't imagine being friends with someone like this. If it's really worth it to him, I guess he should pay him and then ask him what the hell his problem is.

[/ QUOTE ]
if a friend asked you to help them move , what do you expect in return ? i'm curious.

[durron597]

[ QUOTE ]
I would have paid the $15 in the first place, but told him what a douche he is as I was handing over the money.

I couldn't imagine keeping friends who are this cheap.

[/ QUOTE ]

[imported_anacardo]

[ QUOTE ]

if a friend asked you to help them move , what do you expect in return ? i'm curious.

[/ QUOTE ]

It wouldn't be about the money. I cultivate the sort of friends who'd at least buy me a real meal and a few brews to wash it down with, and nobody'd have to twist anybody's arm or indeed say anything. Of course I'd be in. Good friendships are built on mutual generosity. This guy [censored] up by A) not mentioning his girlfriend's gear until too late, B) rewarding his friends' time and effort with schlock and C) still managing to hit him with a bill at the end. This is not the way friends get friends to help them move.

[STLantny]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]

if a friend asked you to help them move , what do you expect in return ? i'm curious.

[/ QUOTE ]

It wouldn't be about the money. I cultivate the sort of friends who'd at least buy me a real meal and a few brews to wash it down with, and nobody'd have to twist anybody's arm or indeed say anything. Of course I'd be in. Good friendships are built on mutual generosity. This guy [censored] up by A) not mentioning his girlfriend's gear until too late, B) rewarding his friends' time and effort with schlock and C) still managing to hit him with a bill at the end. This is not the way friends get friends to help them move.

[/ QUOTE ]

ya, anacardo, you said what I was thinking.

[Reef]

[ QUOTE ]
I would have paid the $15 in the first place, but told him what a douche he is as I was handing over the money.

I couldn't imagine keeping friends who are this cheap.

[/ QUOTE ]

pay and then ask him for [10*(your hourly) - 120] in wages for helping him move.

[gorie]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]

if a friend asked you to help them move , what do you expect in return ? i'm curious.

[/ QUOTE ]

It wouldn't be about the money. I cultivate the sort of friends who'd at least buy me a real meal and a few brews to wash it down with, and nobody'd have to twist anybody's arm or indeed say anything. Of course I'd be in. Good friendships are built on mutual generosity. This guy [censored] up by A) not mentioning his girlfriend's gear until too late, B) rewarding his friends' time and effort with schlock and C) still managing to hit him with a bill at the end. This is not the way friends get friends to help them move.

[/ QUOTE ]

i agree. but i think this guy is being pretty generous to store his stuff for 3 months and only asks for help moving and $15 at the end of it all. i mean the OPs stuff was being moved too, it's a little different than if his friend jsut asked for help moving and not considering the part about his own stuff being there and needing to be moved also.

[YourFoxyGrandma]

I pretty much agree with Gorie on everything.

[imported_anacardo]

[ QUOTE ]


i agree. but i think this guy is being pretty generous to store his stuff for 3 months and only asks for help moving and $15 at the end of it all. i mean the OPs stuff was being moved too, it's a little different than if his friend jsut asked for help moving and not considering the part about his own stuff being there and needing to be moved also.

[/ QUOTE ]

The apartment was vacant for all/most of that time, if I read OP correctly.

His own stuff was negligible; he could've easily moved it himself in one car.

Bottom line, I complain about any of this, though I would think less of my "friend," except for the attempt on the end to treat this as a money proposition into which OP somehow owes, rather than friends helping friends. At this point he's out of line, and he oughta know it. (I'unno if you've tried to hire a ditchdigger lately, but labor is expensive.)

A good friend could have this explained to them.
A crappy friend wouldn't even be worth the $15.
A "meh" friend, which is what this sounds like, should probably get the money, then be quietly phased out.

[imported_anacardo]

[ QUOTE ]
I pretty much agree with Gorie on everything.

[/ QUOTE ]

Who doesn't? You're all stormtroopers under the Cherry Banner.

<font color="white"> I'm not even sure what I mean by that. </font>

[YourFoxyGrandma]

Haha, nicely put.

[Victor]

initially when he asked i woulda proly asked if he was serious and maybe made a sarcastic comment. then i woulda paid. what limit do you play anyway?

[technologic]

shouldn't J pay the entire 45?

[Stuey]

[ QUOTE ]
I pretty much agree with Gorie on everything.

[/ QUOTE ]

Another attempt to get the pants off the puzzle? /images/graemlins/tongue.gif

Pay the $15 be happy you are fit enough for a hard days work try to learn to enjoy it. I moved a chick friend twice in one winter. Froze her washing machine to the side of my face as I was carrying it to the truck. We still laugh about it. If you don't do jack you won't have jack to remember when your old. /images/graemlins/smile.gif

[usmfan]

Give him the $15. Stab him repeatedly while screaming "This is from Manny. You cheap [censored]!" After he's dead, take back the money and urinate on his corpse.

[Bulldog]

You are an ass. Give him the $15.

[PokerNoob]

I don't get it. It's "J"'s place and his and his girlfriend "C"'s stuff. "H" has minimal stuff there like you do. "H" for some reason pays for the U-Haul truck, instead of "J", but "J" gives him 1/3 of the cost and buys him a sandwich. He buys you a sandwich. In return, he gets 20 man hours free labor to move his and his girlfriend's stuff from both you and "H". It sounds to me like "J" should have completely paid for the truck and bought you guys drinks and dinner somewhere in addition to lunch. Give your friend "H" $15 bucks, so you get an equal screwing by "J".

[TheWorstPlayer]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
my guess is you have money from playing [censored]. He probably doesn't until he gets his financial aid or whatever. Pay him his money.

[/ QUOTE ]

Naw, I said we are all well off financially. H kills shorthanded 100nl. You guys seriously would pay the $15 after the 10 hours of mexican labor?

[/ QUOTE ]
If my friend said to me 'Yo, dude, can I have $15? I'm not going to pay it back or anything but I just want it.' I would say 'sure' and give him the money. So if he just did me a favor and wants me to split the U-Haul in which my stuff was transported, even if my stuff didn't necessitate the U-Haul, I would obviously just pay it. Basically any reasonable amount of money is worth it to avoid friction between friends. And don't worry, you will be getting way more than $15 worth of good will and peace of mind.

[RunDownHouse]

It sounds like a lot of you guys are completely monetizing every interaction you have with your friends. Helping a friend move is one of the hard, usually unpleasant favors you do for a friend, and while getting lunch or a few beers or whatever is nice, it shouldn't be expected. That's the [censored] definition of favor.

When I go out with friends, sometimes I buy drinks, sometimes they buy drinks, sometimes everyone buys their own. But nobody is keeping a running tab of how much they've spent on others versus how much others have spent on them. You know why?

Because we don't want to be friends with douchebags like that.

[Huskiez]

I don't understand why everyone is saying "Stop being so cheap, OP, pay the $15." It's about the principle, not the money. Multiply all these numbers by 100, and suddenly I doubt everyone would be yelling at OP to just pay the money.

[jakethebake]

I think this calls for a "walk off"!

[Huskiez]

[ QUOTE ]
i agree. but i think this guy is being pretty generous to store his stuff for 3 months and only asks for help moving and $15 at the end of it all. i mean the OPs stuff was being moved too, it's a little different than if his friend jsut asked for help moving and not considering the part about his own stuff being there and needing to be moved also.

[/ QUOTE ]

Moving heavy furniture up and down three flights of stairs for 10 hours on a hot day is death. This alone is worth much more than $120 to me, and probably all the people in this scenario.

[ThisHo]

my god I hope you guys get seperate checks if you ever eat out together.

Its $15 friggin' bucks. You are both whiny bitches in this situation.

~ThisHo

[BeerMoney]

You're both douchebags.

[superleeds]

Just give him the $15. Why do you want to risk getting into an argument over this. It's the sort of petty thing girls get all bent out of shape over. The main difference between men and women IMHO.

[BillNye]

[ QUOTE ]
"There's a debate over $15, and I have to choose between losing my bankroll or my friend. Help."

tl;dr

[/ QUOTE ]

nice, but gordon bombay is still better

The kind of friend that I would do this for would do the same for me. I expect him to show appreciation, that's it. The implicit understanding is that someday, and this day may never come, I can call on him for help with some shitty job.

[handsome]

UPDATE:
H reminded me about this yesterday (again) after severals weeks of not mentioning it (again). I explained it to him like this:

Me: If I said I was going to rent a movie, then brought it back and had you guys watch it with me, then asked you for $2 after it was over, what would you say?
H: I would call you a cheap ass.
Me: Exactly.
H: But that's COMPLETELY different.
Me: ...

"H" is far from dumb, but it took over an hour for him to understand my perspective. I kept making the argument that "C" should have paid but he argued that she didn't have to because she wasn't there. Our conversation thus went something like this:

Me: So I wouldn't have had to pay if I didn't go on the trip to help you guys move?
H: Yea.
Me: Do you realize how difficult it would've been for just you two to move the apt by yourselves? Are you saying I have to pay because I HELPED you guys?
H: Yea.

That really pissed me off. Anyway, I'm gonna try to get "J" to pay for it, otherwise H is gonna be stuck $15.

[Sightless]

Be a bigger man -_-

[handsome]

[ QUOTE ]
Be a bigger man -_-

[/ QUOTE ]

Sorry, I actually have some self-respect and stick up for myself in these situations.

[Sykes]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Be a bigger man -_-

[/ QUOTE ]

Sorry, I actually have some self-respect and stick up for myself in these situations.

[/ QUOTE ]

i haven't even read anything and still i say

IT"S FIFTEEN DOLLARS

No one cares. Come back when it's 15K or at least $150 and then some people might hear your story.

[Turkish]

[ QUOTE ]

Me: Do you realize how difficult it would've been for just you two to move the apt by yourselves? Are you saying I have to pay because I HELPED you guys?
H: Yea.



[/ QUOTE ]

Fvck this guy, seriously... Who cares if it's only 15 dollars, your friend is being a douche... Plus, helping a friend move is right up there w/ the biggest pain in the ass favors to do for your friends, and he wants you to pay for it? I wouldn't even bother reasoning with him..

[Punker]

In your spot, I have written this donkey off as a friend already, so why throw away $15 on him? No reason to give him any money to save a friendship I don't want anyways.