I let an aquaintance stay at my place for a couple days...

[bholdr]

...and he mooched all my laundry quarters. i HAD about $40 in quarters sitting on my hutch, and it's down to less than $10.

He's near-broke (but just got a decent job) and between places (or, 'homeless') and i let him crash in my living room for three nights as he was waiting for a room at his good freind's house to open up for him. I don't know if i'd consider him a 'friend'- we get along and run with the same crowd, but that's about it.

so he stole my quarters- about $30- and who knows what else. what's your play?

I just saw your other post about that chick hitting you up for money. Seems like you are giving charity all over the place. Maybe you should think about why that is happening. If you don't have a problem with it, then its cool and you are good person for doing that. If you are having money problems yourself, then I'd say you need to stop giving charity.

[Huhmare]

[ QUOTE ]
I just saw your other post about that chick hitting you up for money. Seems like you are giving charity all over the place. Maybe you should think about why that is happening. If you don't have a problem with it, then its cool and you are good person for doing that. If you are having money problems yourself, then I'd say you need to stop giving charity.

[/ QUOTE ]

I was just thinking the same. You are too nice person. Stop being too nice. Start being a niggard bangholio.

[istewart]

Call the INS.

[Jimbo]

I can't believe that there are actually 77 posters so far that voted for any response other than the final choice.

[SackUp]

SIIHP

The bum will never take quarters again.

[DaveKForty7]

Put a roll of quarters into your tightly closed fist and punch him in the face as hard as you can. Then leave the roll with him with a note that reads 'you forgot some'.

Beware of this type of person. People like this go through life never accomplishing anything on their own, and they just mooch off of whoever will help them out in a given month. They never make good on a debt, and there's always a story on why they need the money and how they're going to pay you back. It's like a broken record. I know several guys like this. Two of them are alcoholics (that refuse to admit they have a problem), and the others are just flat-out lazy.

Save your generosity for someone genuinely deserving of it, such as a true friend in need, or a family member down on his/her luck.

Unless you own a home and a couple of cars outright and have enough money in the bank that you can provide for yourself and your family without ever having to work again, you should never feel bad about not giving random, lazy people handouts. You'll never get the money back, and all you're doing is setting yourself up to get asked again by the same person. i have learned this the hard way, believe me. I'm owed thousands by various people out there (not counting interest), and i've just written these debts off as bad debts and have given up. Quite frankly, I have only myself to blame.

Generosity is something people shouldn't take for granted. Save it for people who can't help themselves.

That's my view on it anyway.

[Malachii]

I think your play here is to bring it up to him, stress that you're not upset about the quarters but rather about his lack of character, and tell him that he should find a new place to stay.

[imported_anacardo]

So long as you don't care about your friendship - and it doesn't really sound like there is one to speak of - go ahead and call him on it. But this guy's probably not going to be able to look you in the eye again after this.

[spamuell]

Don't not go out just because he's going to be there but don't make arrangements to hang out with him. Don't ignore him if he's out with you but don't be overly friendly. Don't let him stay at your place again.

[bholdr]

well... i've decided that i probably shouldn't have left $40 in quarters sitting out if i was gonna let a broke semi-freind stay at my place. my fault.

but, i'm definitly not hanging with this k-hole again- with the group... okay, but not him-and-I.


as for the people that have said i've been giving too much 'charity'... maybe, BUT, I have been dirt-ass poor and unable to support myself before(injuries); i'll always appreciate and remember the people that helped me out, weather they were freinds or not. I figure i'm obligated to pass that along when i am able, especially now that i'm making good money, etc...

[Blarg]

Your friendship was worth less than $30 to this guy. This at the same time you're putting him up for free. You're not looking at a winner here or a friendship you need to keep.

I wouldn't look at this guy as a friend anymore. You might want to treat him like one until you get your $30 back. I'd ask. People like this are enabled and encouraged to do this crap again and again by people saying nothing, and they're also checking their boundaries and seeing how far they can go before they either feel really bad about it or get caught. They're rehearsing for bigger things. $30 today, someone's credit card tomorrow.

Cut the process short. You've got nothing to lose; this guy is no friend and never will be. Tell him to give you back the cash in a reasonable amount of time, and if he doesn't, feel no shame at telling everyone about it. Don't let the guy feel there's no consequences; better he hate your guts than laugh at you. And don't think he won't, and won't tell others that you were either a sucker or a coward for letting it slide.

[Blarg]

[ QUOTE ]
Beware of this type of person. People like this go through life never accomplishing anything on their own, and they just mooch off of whoever will help them out in a given month. They never make good on a debt, and there's always a story on why they need the money and how they're going to pay you back. It's like a broken record. I know several guys like this. Two of them are alcoholics (that refuse to admit they have a problem), and the others are just flat-out lazy.

Save your generosity for someone genuinely deserving of it, such as a true friend in need, or a family member down on his/her luck.

Unless you own a home and a couple of cars outright and have enough money in the bank that you can provide for yourself and your family without ever having to work again, you should never feel bad about not giving random, lazy people handouts. You'll never get the money back, and all you're doing is setting yourself up to get asked again by the same person. i have learned this the hard way, believe me. I'm owed thousands by various people out there (not counting interest), and i've just written these debts off as bad debts and have given up. Quite frankly, I have only myself to blame.

Generosity is something people shouldn't take for granted. Save it for people who can't help themselves.

That's my view on it anyway.

[/ QUOTE ]

Agreed. Lots of people seek out professional victims like this guy, one after the other. Don't let them keep the ball rolling or bullsh_t you. Turn the tables the way they should be -- so THEY are the uncomfortable ones.

Not many positive things come out of negative situations, but letting it slide means you've guaranteed the guy complete freedom to try it with all the rest of your unsuspecting friends. Lots of negative outcomes for people who don't deserve them, and only one positive outcome -- for the jerk going around screwing people. And he gets it over and over again, in great part thanks to you if you don't say a word.

[Blarg]

[ QUOTE ]
well... i've decided that i probably shouldn't have left $40 in quarters sitting out if i was gonna let a broke semi-freind stay at my place. my fault.

but, i'm definitly not hanging with this k-hole again- with the group... okay, but not him-and-I.


as for the people that have said i've been giving too much 'charity'... maybe, BUT, I have been dirt-ass poor and unable to support myself before(injuries); i'll always appreciate and remember the people that helped me out, weather they were freinds or not. I figure i'm obligated to pass that along when i am able, especially now that i'm making good money, etc...

[/ QUOTE ]

You should be more careful who you let into your house.

And extremely careful about who you let stay there.

A "semi-friend" doesn't even come close to meriting a place to stay. I hope you didn't have a wife or kids to expose to him.

I've been flat broke and without a place to stay, too, so I know how that is. But that's no excuse to go adopting stray dogs. You've got to find a safer and wiser outlet for your humanitarian impulses. What you do for friends and family has almost nothing to do with what you'd do for anyone else. This is just common sense and veers into the realm of self-respect. You deserve better treatment FROM YOU!