What to tell her. (The morning after)

[Max Raker]

Today was going to be a slow night. I have a sore throat and am very congested and figured that I should'nt be drinking tonight. So basically I'm single tabling and watching the Sopranos on DVD. This is going well till about 1:35. I am applying vicks vapor rub (man this stuff really helps) when the phone rings. I answer it and its a female friend who is very drunk. She is not making any sense and is crying hysterically. I ask her a few times to tell me whats wrong but she keeps crying and I can't understand her. I decided I should probably walk over to her place (its only a few blocks away) and make sure that she isn't in any trouble.

When i get there, I find out shes ok, but has a slight cut on her foot from walking on glass that she broke in her apartment. I think the sight of blood freaked her out, and being as drunk as she was she didn't know what to do and her roomate was not back home yet. I bandage it and put some neosporin on it and change her into sleep clothes, we've fooled around before so her being naked is no big deal. I now get another call this time my drunk roomate who has a girl over back at our place and wants the bedroom to himself, dam dorm room living. I figure i should just stay there and crawl into bed. She figures I want to fool around so she starts kissing me and taking off my pants. The problem is she is pretty drunk and keeps passing out in the middle. I am also very tired and would probably rather sleep then get head which i know she is terrible at when this drunk. This cycle of her starting to give me head/her passing out happens about four more times. Now I really want to sleep.

I figure the eaiset way to end things is for her have an orgasm and pass out. So i start fingering her and things are going well when she suddenly starts screaming and yelling about some burning. She must just be drunk, i reason. Then I realize, I hadn't washed my hands since applying the vicks vapor rub! The yelling continues for a while and I take her to the shower. The noise has alarmed her roomate who asks if everything is ok, which I say it is. After 15 min in the shower she seems ok and we go back to bed. She is still pretty drunk and does not ask any questions.
I am sure she will remember this when she wakes up. Will she be mad if I tell the truth and is there anything I can make up to deflect the blame from myself?

That's a pretty funny story. If she brings up the burning, tell her the truth. If she can't handle that, then the hell with her. I had a gf give me a handjob once and made a blister but I didn't hold it against her for days and days. Just pointed it out and then that was that.

[Popinjay]

Ehloel. great story

[blatz]

Tell her you're sorry, you forgot you had gonorrehea, and not to sweat it, the burning will go away in a few weeks if she takes anti-biotics.

That may be good for a laugh.

[siccjay]

LMAO

She may not remember it.

[DasLeben]

Just say: "Sorry I rubbed vapo-rub on your twat."

I don't see why this is so hard?

[poker-penguin]

[ QUOTE ]
Just say: "Sorry I rubbed vapo-rub on your twat."

I don't see why this is so hard?

[/ QUOTE ]

Yes, and use the word twat too.

[siccjay]

Beaver could work there too.

[SippinSoma]

Smooth operator.

[Wintermute]

Tell her she's a worthless, gold-digging whore, like the rest of them. Sure, the truth hurts, but in the long run it'll be +EV to confront her with it earlier rather than later.

[peachy]

tell her the truth....she shouldnt take it too badly

[Alobar]

lol, that story kicks ass. Just tell her the truth. Tho, I wouldnt have tried to get action when sober from a girl so drunk I had to keep slapping her in the face with my dick to wake her up when she passed out. But thats just me.

[peachy]

[ QUOTE ]
Tell her she's a worthless, gold-digging whore, like the rest of them. Sure, the truth hurts, but in the long run it'll be +EV to confront her with it earlier rather than later.

[/ QUOTE ]

dont hate on all girls b/c u went to a strip club to buy girls and despise them

[Wintermute]

What a fuckign whore, by the way.

[battschr]

[ QUOTE ]
Just say: "Sorry I rubbed vapo-rub on your twat."

I don't see why this is so hard?

[/ QUOTE ]
I couldn't breathe for about 10 minutes after reading this I was laughing so hard.

[TheIrishThug]

Note to self: ALWAYS wash hands after using vicks vapor-rub.

good story. just tell her when/if she asks.

wintermute: go rub one out, ur mind will be clear afterwards and u won't be ass pissed off.

[gonores]

[ QUOTE ]
Just say: "Sorry I rubbed vapo-rub on your twat."

I don't see why this is so hard?

[/ QUOTE ]

You know, Hallmark makes a card for that.

It has a puppy on it...with a bow.

[touchfaith]

did you tip her?

[The Stranger]

if you had to crash at her place, weren't there other options for places to sleep besides in bed with her?

[chesspain]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Just say: "Sorry I rubbed vapo-rub on your twat."

I don't see why this is so hard?

[/ QUOTE ]

You know, Hallmark makes a card for that.

It has a puppy on it...with a bow.

[/ QUOTE ]

LOL

[pearljam]

[ QUOTE ]
if you had to crash at her place, weren't there other options for places to sleep besides in bed with her?

[/ QUOTE ]

no

[TheIrishThug]

so u r saying that this girl lives in an apartment w/o a couch or a recliner?

[pearljam]

[ QUOTE ]
so u r saying that this girl lives in an apartment w/o a couch or a recliner?

[/ QUOTE ]

yes

[MrTrik]

I'd tell her the truth. If she gets pissed off, I'd tell her to piss off.

[astroglide]

i thought "fingering" stopped at high school

[Thythe]

I'm confused that pearljam has now started answering questions about the situation when he wasn't the OP.

[pearljam]

[ QUOTE ]
I'm confused that pearljam has now started answering questions about the situation when he wasn't the OP.

[/ QUOTE ]

Search the archives, you will figure it out.

[touchfaith]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I'm confused that pearljam has now started answering questions about the situation when he wasn't the OP.

[/ QUOTE ]

Search the archives, you will figure it out.

[/ QUOTE ]

Nobody cares that much, how about you just tell us.

[pearljam]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I'm confused that pearljam has now started answering questions about the situation when he wasn't the OP.

[/ QUOTE ]

Search the archives, you will figure it out.

[/ QUOTE ]

Nobody cares that much, how about you just tell us.

[/ QUOTE ]

nah, it's really not that interesting, go on about your business.

[shant]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I'm confused that pearljam has now started answering questions about the situation when he wasn't the OP.

[/ QUOTE ]

Search the archives, you will figure it out.

[/ QUOTE ]

Nobody cares that much, how about you just tell us.

[/ QUOTE ]

nah, it's really not that interesting, go on about your business.

[/ QUOTE ]
This is extremely lame.

[touchfaith]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I'm confused that pearljam has now started answering questions about the situation when he wasn't the OP.

[/ QUOTE ]

Search the archives, you will figure it out.

[/ QUOTE ]

Nobody cares that much, how about you just tell us.

[/ QUOTE ]

nah, it's really not that interesting, go on about your business.

[/ QUOTE ]

Good suggestion. I'll get back to what I do best...


You're
http://img333.imageshack.us/img333/6991/bestof20050310yh.jpg

[Deftoner]

[ QUOTE ]
Your an [censored] by the way.

[/ QUOTE ]

FYP

[billyjex]

[ QUOTE ]
i thought "fingering" stopped at high school

[/ QUOTE ]

?

does he have to eat her out or bone her to get her off?

[cdxx]

she may have a vibrator lying around. the courtesy of turning it on for her is on him since she's so wasted.

[WackityWhiz]

[ QUOTE ]
Ehloel. great story

[/ QUOTE ]

haha, very nice

[DasLeben]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Your an [censored] by the way.

[/ QUOTE ]

FYP

[/ QUOTE ]

Your = possessive
You're = contraction of "you are"

Kids, don't "FYP" if you can't write properly. /images/graemlins/tongue.gif

[Max Raker]

[ QUOTE ]
so u r saying that this girl lives in an apartment w/o a couch or a recliner?

[/ QUOTE ]

I slept in her bed because I always sleep there when I sleep over. And an update on the situation, she asked about it in the morning and I told her, she laughed ad did not seem mad. Sometimes the universe unfolds as it should.

[joeski19]

Great story btw. /images/graemlins/grin.gif