aK13
08-19-2005, 08:51 PM
So, after 5 months and 2499 posts, I’m finally joining the high society of Carpal /’Tunnel. Before I get swarmed with hot chicks that want to be a part of the fame and glory, I figure since I didn’t do it for my regular Pum-bah post, that I might just share a little of my poker journey. (As a means to continue to post, I created a new account which some of you may recognize: Adammm – Greg, you can nuke that alias if you like).
So I played my first game of Texas Hold ‘em junior year of high school at my friends house. I sucked donkey dick for 2 years and donated a pretty hefty amount. Fastforward a bit until September 2005, my freshman year of college, when I start playing against new unknown players, and I continue to donate. After about 3 months, when I finally start getting to know people, I talk to these three players who are playing poker online for real money, and I suspect that it is my money. They about this promotion called “Instant Bankroll” where this site gives $100 dollars free to play at party. Apparently you can scam the place and get the bonus repeatedly too!
Awesome! Free money! Alas, it is time to go home for winter break, and I’m stuck on my 133mhz Pentium….which not surprisingly, doesn’t have the capability to run party poker. So I chill, and wait for the break to go by, continuing my high school donation in home games. Then, one of my college friends drives down one weekend to visit me at my house. He brings his laptop, hooks it up to my broadband network with my P133….deposits $500 and plays on Empire. After 3 hours, he gets disconnected from Empire, and gets a message “Your account has been frozen. Please call 1928348982358”. F.U.C.K. Looks like they found out Party poker’s Jeffrey No is the same as Empire’s Geoffrey Know – guess those multiple instant bankroll accounts weren’t such a hot idea….
So I get back to school in January, I’m testing out classes, buying books, hanging out with people I haven’t seen in about a month, so I put off the signup until February. I sign up for instant bankroll, but when I call in to confirm that this is my first time ever playing poker online for real money, I find out that I need to be 21 to be eligible for the promotion (since it’s hosted by PokerSource Online), while party only requires you to be 18 to play (I’m 19). So I get shafted, and I decide “What the hell…I’ll make up some fake name, get the money, then play and make a new account somewhere else”. I sign up again, call in, and this time they want me to send in an ID to prove I am over 21, since “somebody already has an account registered from that address”. Trying to outsmart them so they won’t catch me red-handed, I say “Sure, I’ll send it in”. The guy replies, “Great, when will you send it in?”. “Uhhh, soon….” *Click*. Damn, foiled again. I’m going to try again – 3rd time’s a charm, baby (as Scotty Nguyen would say). So now, I know all the tricks. I gotta pick a new address! So I make up some weird name like Joe Tall, and call in again. “I’m sorry sir, but somebody has already registered this address, so you aren’t eligible since we only allow one per household”. WTF. Cockslapped again.
So these failed attempts took probably about 1 month to occur, since PSO is ridiculously slow, and now it’s March. I’m annoyed out of my freaking mind because I see my friends buy new monitors with the poker money they’ve won, and I’m jealous. Since I can’t outsmart the Instant Bankroll guys, I decide I’ll cave in and sign up a real person, my mom. I’m going home for spring break, and I don’t think she’d be hot on the idea that I’m gambling online, but when I sign up with the same address 3 times, I think they will tell her to send in her ID, so I gotta let her know. So I sign up under her name (which explains my female party icon), come home, finally convince her through the free money and “its just for fun” excuses, and she calls in, and in 2 minutes she’s like “Okay, it’s done”. “No ID?” “No, the man was really nice and said that usually you have to play 500 times to be able to withdraw the money, but he said he’d make it only 300 since I said I was trying poker for the first time”. WTF. Damn girls and their annoying special treatment.
Whatever, FINALLY, I’m in business. I can play – damn, but I need to wait 2 weeks until break is over. So I finally get back to school on my computer that actually can run party poker, sit down at a.5/1 table, and proceed to drop $25 in like 2 hours. I quickly jump on AIM and tell him “Dude, I lost $25, how do you make so much money?”. “Oh I read this awesome book called Small Stakes Hold ‘em by David Sklansky. You should read it before you play online”. Wow, thanks for the late tip, [censored]. Anyways, I run down to Barnes & Noble, buy a copy for $25 (there goes half my bankroll). I read it, and then he tells me about this online site called www.twoplustwo.com (http://www.twoplustwo.com) where apparently there are lots of people who are extremely good at poker. Sweet, I check it out, and I create this account, but mostly lurk, since I’m afraid to sound stupid since I don’t know anything about poker. Finally, I give party another shot, and lo and behold, I run good and end up cashing out at $140 into a newly created neteller account.
I find out about this cool thing called “bonus whoring”, which apparently just gives you free money for depositing. So I look at some of the recommended ones “party $100 for $500”, “paradise $100 for $200”. Damn, I don’t have that much money. “interpoker $90 for $90”, “pokerplex $50 monthly”. Wow, $140 for $140! PERFECT! I somehow manage to survive the $1/$2 rockgarden without going broke using my awesome LAGginess, and I cash out of pokerplex breakeven after bonus, and up $50 after interpoker bonus. Nice, I can do the GRANNY bonus at paradise now, right after I receive my PIN. So I’m scared to play such high limits since crypto’s lowest tables used to be 1/2, so I try to wait it out, but seeing A/images/graemlins/club.gif K/images/graemlins/heart.gif everytime I close my eyes to try and go to sleep, I needed to get involved, and the forums were the answer, and finally I get used to posting worse advice than Peachy, and getting berated for it.
Finally I get the money out of cryptos, and grind through the bonus at paradise, cash out $330, go back to crypto the next month, then hit up party reload, then gaming club $300 free, then bet365 $50 for $50, etc. After about 2 months, I have netted about 15k hands at .5/1 courtesy of pirated pokertracker and playerview versions, at a fairly good rate of 1.36 BB/100 and I open up my first personal party skin account at pokernow for their initial deposit and NEWDEAL bonuses. At this point, my roll is something around $1000, and I’m taking shots at 1/2, where I learn that I am a LAG, so I decide that weak-tight play is better. I score about 10k hands at this level with a 1.44 BB/100 winrate while clearing the two pokernow bonuses and combined with all the crypto bonus whoring, and my roll is at $1300. While I continue to flood the forums with my garbage advice, I read somewhere that 300 BB is enough to take on the next level and that 2/4 is softer than 1/2, so 2/4, here I come. After about 5k hands at 2/4, I get owned and am down 100BB, but through bonuswhoring, only lose about $100. I lose confidence, so I stop playing for about a month, re-reading SSH, reading HPFAP, and just flooding the micro forum. Right after finals are over in June, I jump back into playing, and a new LAG is born. I test out some 1/2 6max at party/absolute, and manage to run a whopping 11BB/100 for about 5k for the month of June, where I take shots at the new 3/6 6max tables. July rolls around, and I get cockslapped with a 300BB downswing. Now it’s August, and after finally running well with a 100BB upswing in 1k hands, I’ve reached 2499 posts on 2+2, and have decided to concentrate on learning NL. When I came back home and played poker with my high school friends again, I still continue to donate despite having won a crapload of money playing limit online, so I must return the favor. However I will continue to post here in the micros/SS/HUSH whenever I do play some interesting limit hands whenever I get bored of the slowness that is NL.
Whew, that was long – thanks for reading if you got this far.
-Adam
P.S. Evan has brought to my attention that everyone thinks I’m gay for making my 2+2 name “Ace-King”. To explain:
1. My first and middle initial are A and K.
2. I was born in Alaska (state code AK), something my friends give me [censored] for everyday by calling me an eskimo
3. I’m a huge basketball fan, and my favorite player is Andrei Kirilenko (nickname AK-47)
The abbreviation for big slick as AK just happened to be a coincidence with poker that I thought was kinda nifty.
So I played my first game of Texas Hold ‘em junior year of high school at my friends house. I sucked donkey dick for 2 years and donated a pretty hefty amount. Fastforward a bit until September 2005, my freshman year of college, when I start playing against new unknown players, and I continue to donate. After about 3 months, when I finally start getting to know people, I talk to these three players who are playing poker online for real money, and I suspect that it is my money. They about this promotion called “Instant Bankroll” where this site gives $100 dollars free to play at party. Apparently you can scam the place and get the bonus repeatedly too!
Awesome! Free money! Alas, it is time to go home for winter break, and I’m stuck on my 133mhz Pentium….which not surprisingly, doesn’t have the capability to run party poker. So I chill, and wait for the break to go by, continuing my high school donation in home games. Then, one of my college friends drives down one weekend to visit me at my house. He brings his laptop, hooks it up to my broadband network with my P133….deposits $500 and plays on Empire. After 3 hours, he gets disconnected from Empire, and gets a message “Your account has been frozen. Please call 1928348982358”. F.U.C.K. Looks like they found out Party poker’s Jeffrey No is the same as Empire’s Geoffrey Know – guess those multiple instant bankroll accounts weren’t such a hot idea….
So I get back to school in January, I’m testing out classes, buying books, hanging out with people I haven’t seen in about a month, so I put off the signup until February. I sign up for instant bankroll, but when I call in to confirm that this is my first time ever playing poker online for real money, I find out that I need to be 21 to be eligible for the promotion (since it’s hosted by PokerSource Online), while party only requires you to be 18 to play (I’m 19). So I get shafted, and I decide “What the hell…I’ll make up some fake name, get the money, then play and make a new account somewhere else”. I sign up again, call in, and this time they want me to send in an ID to prove I am over 21, since “somebody already has an account registered from that address”. Trying to outsmart them so they won’t catch me red-handed, I say “Sure, I’ll send it in”. The guy replies, “Great, when will you send it in?”. “Uhhh, soon….” *Click*. Damn, foiled again. I’m going to try again – 3rd time’s a charm, baby (as Scotty Nguyen would say). So now, I know all the tricks. I gotta pick a new address! So I make up some weird name like Joe Tall, and call in again. “I’m sorry sir, but somebody has already registered this address, so you aren’t eligible since we only allow one per household”. WTF. Cockslapped again.
So these failed attempts took probably about 1 month to occur, since PSO is ridiculously slow, and now it’s March. I’m annoyed out of my freaking mind because I see my friends buy new monitors with the poker money they’ve won, and I’m jealous. Since I can’t outsmart the Instant Bankroll guys, I decide I’ll cave in and sign up a real person, my mom. I’m going home for spring break, and I don’t think she’d be hot on the idea that I’m gambling online, but when I sign up with the same address 3 times, I think they will tell her to send in her ID, so I gotta let her know. So I sign up under her name (which explains my female party icon), come home, finally convince her through the free money and “its just for fun” excuses, and she calls in, and in 2 minutes she’s like “Okay, it’s done”. “No ID?” “No, the man was really nice and said that usually you have to play 500 times to be able to withdraw the money, but he said he’d make it only 300 since I said I was trying poker for the first time”. WTF. Damn girls and their annoying special treatment.
Whatever, FINALLY, I’m in business. I can play – damn, but I need to wait 2 weeks until break is over. So I finally get back to school on my computer that actually can run party poker, sit down at a.5/1 table, and proceed to drop $25 in like 2 hours. I quickly jump on AIM and tell him “Dude, I lost $25, how do you make so much money?”. “Oh I read this awesome book called Small Stakes Hold ‘em by David Sklansky. You should read it before you play online”. Wow, thanks for the late tip, [censored]. Anyways, I run down to Barnes & Noble, buy a copy for $25 (there goes half my bankroll). I read it, and then he tells me about this online site called www.twoplustwo.com (http://www.twoplustwo.com) where apparently there are lots of people who are extremely good at poker. Sweet, I check it out, and I create this account, but mostly lurk, since I’m afraid to sound stupid since I don’t know anything about poker. Finally, I give party another shot, and lo and behold, I run good and end up cashing out at $140 into a newly created neteller account.
I find out about this cool thing called “bonus whoring”, which apparently just gives you free money for depositing. So I look at some of the recommended ones “party $100 for $500”, “paradise $100 for $200”. Damn, I don’t have that much money. “interpoker $90 for $90”, “pokerplex $50 monthly”. Wow, $140 for $140! PERFECT! I somehow manage to survive the $1/$2 rockgarden without going broke using my awesome LAGginess, and I cash out of pokerplex breakeven after bonus, and up $50 after interpoker bonus. Nice, I can do the GRANNY bonus at paradise now, right after I receive my PIN. So I’m scared to play such high limits since crypto’s lowest tables used to be 1/2, so I try to wait it out, but seeing A/images/graemlins/club.gif K/images/graemlins/heart.gif everytime I close my eyes to try and go to sleep, I needed to get involved, and the forums were the answer, and finally I get used to posting worse advice than Peachy, and getting berated for it.
Finally I get the money out of cryptos, and grind through the bonus at paradise, cash out $330, go back to crypto the next month, then hit up party reload, then gaming club $300 free, then bet365 $50 for $50, etc. After about 2 months, I have netted about 15k hands at .5/1 courtesy of pirated pokertracker and playerview versions, at a fairly good rate of 1.36 BB/100 and I open up my first personal party skin account at pokernow for their initial deposit and NEWDEAL bonuses. At this point, my roll is something around $1000, and I’m taking shots at 1/2, where I learn that I am a LAG, so I decide that weak-tight play is better. I score about 10k hands at this level with a 1.44 BB/100 winrate while clearing the two pokernow bonuses and combined with all the crypto bonus whoring, and my roll is at $1300. While I continue to flood the forums with my garbage advice, I read somewhere that 300 BB is enough to take on the next level and that 2/4 is softer than 1/2, so 2/4, here I come. After about 5k hands at 2/4, I get owned and am down 100BB, but through bonuswhoring, only lose about $100. I lose confidence, so I stop playing for about a month, re-reading SSH, reading HPFAP, and just flooding the micro forum. Right after finals are over in June, I jump back into playing, and a new LAG is born. I test out some 1/2 6max at party/absolute, and manage to run a whopping 11BB/100 for about 5k for the month of June, where I take shots at the new 3/6 6max tables. July rolls around, and I get cockslapped with a 300BB downswing. Now it’s August, and after finally running well with a 100BB upswing in 1k hands, I’ve reached 2499 posts on 2+2, and have decided to concentrate on learning NL. When I came back home and played poker with my high school friends again, I still continue to donate despite having won a crapload of money playing limit online, so I must return the favor. However I will continue to post here in the micros/SS/HUSH whenever I do play some interesting limit hands whenever I get bored of the slowness that is NL.
Whew, that was long – thanks for reading if you got this far.
-Adam
P.S. Evan has brought to my attention that everyone thinks I’m gay for making my 2+2 name “Ace-King”. To explain:
1. My first and middle initial are A and K.
2. I was born in Alaska (state code AK), something my friends give me [censored] for everyday by calling me an eskimo
3. I’m a huge basketball fan, and my favorite player is Andrei Kirilenko (nickname AK-47)
The abbreviation for big slick as AK just happened to be a coincidence with poker that I thought was kinda nifty.