12-20-2001, 10:33 AM
I read a lot of the messages below concerning the death penalty, and I have a number of suggestions/solutions.
Alternatives:
1. Use death row inmates for experimental drug testing. Give the monkeys, rats, rabbits, and other lab animals a break. I'd like to see a Sweet & Low packet with the disclaimer "This product has been known to cause cancer in death-row inmates".
2. Use them as crash test dummies.
3. To reduce overall costs, they should make them run on treadmills for 12 hours a day to generate electricity for the rest of the prison.
4. Organ Donation--if these scumbags have any viable organs remaining.
5. For those of you that think the death penalty is "Playing God"...on stormy nights, they could put the death row inmate up on the roof of the prison, strap a five-iron to his head, and maybe give him an aluminum foil hat, and see if God decides to have his vengeance.
6. A Pay-Per-View Extravaganza--All Death-Row inmates put in the Octagon--No holds barred fight to the death-- "50 will enter...only ONE will leave!!"--sponsored by Budweiser.
7. To give the execution a game show type of suspense...have the "Wheel of Death", and make the prisoner spin to see the method of execution.
8. A further cost saving measure--No more "Death Row"...make it "Death Week".
9. Bring back the guillotine...a funny routine by George Carlin suggests to place the guillotine at the top of a small hill, and when the head is chopped off it will roll down into one of 5 numbered holes...and then the general public can gamble on which hole the head will fall into.
Please don't respond back with any "Cruel and unusual punishment" type responses...this is just my demented view of things that I thought I'd share...if I ever run for office...look out!! Goodbye constitutional rights for murderers!!!
As Uncle Larry would say "It's a sick world...and I'm a happy guy"
Any other humorous/sick ideas for what to do with death-row inmates out there?
Alternatives:
1. Use death row inmates for experimental drug testing. Give the monkeys, rats, rabbits, and other lab animals a break. I'd like to see a Sweet & Low packet with the disclaimer "This product has been known to cause cancer in death-row inmates".
2. Use them as crash test dummies.
3. To reduce overall costs, they should make them run on treadmills for 12 hours a day to generate electricity for the rest of the prison.
4. Organ Donation--if these scumbags have any viable organs remaining.
5. For those of you that think the death penalty is "Playing God"...on stormy nights, they could put the death row inmate up on the roof of the prison, strap a five-iron to his head, and maybe give him an aluminum foil hat, and see if God decides to have his vengeance.
6. A Pay-Per-View Extravaganza--All Death-Row inmates put in the Octagon--No holds barred fight to the death-- "50 will enter...only ONE will leave!!"--sponsored by Budweiser.
7. To give the execution a game show type of suspense...have the "Wheel of Death", and make the prisoner spin to see the method of execution.
8. A further cost saving measure--No more "Death Row"...make it "Death Week".
9. Bring back the guillotine...a funny routine by George Carlin suggests to place the guillotine at the top of a small hill, and when the head is chopped off it will roll down into one of 5 numbered holes...and then the general public can gamble on which hole the head will fall into.
Please don't respond back with any "Cruel and unusual punishment" type responses...this is just my demented view of things that I thought I'd share...if I ever run for office...look out!! Goodbye constitutional rights for murderers!!!
As Uncle Larry would say "It's a sick world...and I'm a happy guy"
Any other humorous/sick ideas for what to do with death-row inmates out there?