Teen having mid-life crisis.

[A_Junglen]

Well, I've been meaning to post this for awhile, but finally got around to it. Please note the time...it's 6am. Today I woke up at 5pm....

Anyways, I've noticed that I no longer feel motivated to do...well anything. Let me give you my background. I'm a senior in HS, have already earned a computer network certification (equivalent of a 2 yr associates degree). I could probably get a job right now in the technical field. I currently 6 table the 20-2's and am doing very well. I also play a few mtt's a week and recently made 2k in one night. Basically...after winning, I noticed that I honestly don't care that much. I'm getting a $1,300 check next week, and instead of having fun with it (like almost anyone else my age) I'm doing my lil accounting spiel. Everynight for the past month that I've played online I'm up at least $100, which is signficant money for most people my age. All this money is desensitizing me it seems like.

I've played poker since I was 16, and from it have lived a "lucrative teenage lifestyle", buying a laptop, PC, iPod, razr cell phone, expensive headphones, and in a month I plan on buying a convertible (hopefully).

Through all of this however I've noticed that I don't care about my future at all. It may sound cocky, but I think it's more confidence, but I'm pretty sure that no matter what I pursue I'll succeed at. Not too many people at my age have a computer certification. I've always been very competitve and generally see that what I want, I almost always get....but how come lately I have no desire to achieve anything. Who cares about the future...I'll get an amazing job, and make more money than God. But honestly, money isn't everything. It certainly cannot buy happiness.

My sleep/eating habits have also become very warped. I eat maybe a meal everyday (very little). I'm always hungry, but when I eat I feel sick and stop...still hungry when I stop..it's very weird.My sleep schedule is 12hours off from the average american. I'm waking up when the 9-5er's are gettin home.

I also recently had my right leg amputated (below knee) which I'm sure can't help my frame of mind. Actually, I was taken out of school during the last part of my Jr. year because I was "suicidally depressed"...I dunno, on paper it seems like my life should be extremely happy, but I'm honestly very unfulfilled. Is this all there is? Making money, eating nice food every night, and staying out late?.....please tell me there's more.

I'm sorry in advance for the rambling, but this seems pretty bad. Lacking desire to achieve in the future can pretty much say lacking the desire to live. Which certainly isn't +EV. My parents want me to see a doctor, but I honestly feel like I can overcome anything myself.....I just lack desire to.

You sound like you're depressed. While I'm not sure exactly the path out of depression, I know that making money is not it. The richest person in the world can be miserable, so don't be surprised that having lots of money (for someone your age) isn't buying you happiness.

Perhaps you need... some meaning in your life? Good friends? A girlfriend? I can't say for sure, but something besides poker and computers and buying stuff.

A depressed, unmotivated teen?

What is the world coming to????

That is saracsm, btw.

Here is my advice - and keep in mind that this advice is coming from someone with a Masters Degree and a professional vocation.

Two separate pieces:

1) Don't worry too much about it. Parents, teachers and high school guidance counsellors use this massive scare tactic that if you don't follow the right path now, you will damn yourself to poverty and a wasted existence. That is total BS. You should DEFINITELY finish high school, but from there, the world is wide open to you. Find something you WANT to do - something that interests you - and do it. If you don't know what that is, then find a way to keep yourself occupied until you do. You WILL find something.

2) Rather than focusing on WHAT you want to do, focus on HOW YOU FEEL. Are you depressed? Are you sad and bored? Boredom, for example, is a fantastic emotion. It is you telling yourelf that it is time to do something new. If you are having these negative feelings, then find something you like to do - exercise, play basketball, just do something. I am not suggesting that you turn your life over to a hedonistic pursuit of pleasure - but at the same time, you should focus on your current state and let the future take care of itself. If you feel depressed a lot, then get some counselling or therapy - just try and keep yourself moving towards a happier place.

If poker is what you enjoy doing, then do it - but balance your poker playing with other activities - preferably active ones.

My suspicion is that you are really not interested in getting a job in the computer field - that is a GREAT sign -now you just need to find the thing that gets you excited - and once you do, things will start to make more sense.

There is a tendency to think that your teen years will shape your entire life - they won't. Trust me when I say that you have a long time to spare before you start to get serious about your life.

[intheflatfield]

Having only read the title of your post (as opposed the actual post or reply's)

Quit Poker

Do your Homework

I don't think this is really related to poker. Take your parents advice and see a counselor or something. I mean what do you have to lose. You could also try to find something you enjoy doing and just have fun.

[Bez]

Manic depression.

[Georgia Avenue]

I know I'll sound like your grandma, but you should really consider college, especially if that's something your parents will pay for without too much trouble. College is more than just a holding tank for late teenagers, or Keg Stand Academy. My four (ok seven) years of school were an amazing time, socially and intellectually. Many people forget or disbelieve in the possibility of higher education really changing someone's outlook, but it happens. Go to a good small liberal arts college where you'll have the opportunity to talk to your professors and the other students. Try as many disciplines as you can...science, social science, philosophy, literature. Most importantly, you’ll be able to put the future on hold and just have fun meeting people. Maybe you’ll even find some SSHE to crush! I agree with what another poster said, it sounds like it’s more than poker that’s making you miserable, especially if you just lost a leg. That’s a tough break.
Remember: 1. Small liberal arts college (preferably far away from home, but somewhere that isn’t depressing.)
2. Variety of classes
3. Talk to as many people as possible.
4. Crush small stakes hold ‘em.

Good luck.

[jba]

go to college and it's not even close. not even close to being close.

you have no idea what you want to do, you're young, and you're smart. 99% of people your situation are going to either a) go to college have the time of their life get a degree and try to take it from there or b) knock up some broad, get a deadend $17/hr job working the swing shift at some finance company keeping their network up, and living that life of quiet desperation.

poker seriously has nothing to do with this situation. if you can make some decent money while at school that's teriffic.

[TStoneMBD]

seriously consider finding a doctor to prescribe you anti-depressants. you sound like you need them.

[imported_bingobazza]

I get the joke....nh

Bingo

[TStoneMBD]

are you talking about my avatar? cause if youre talking about my post i was serious. im not a doctor though.

[Python49]

It certainly cannot buy happiness.

Sure it can. Buy a year supply of prozac.

My advice is to find something in your life in which you can strive to be successful at but which will not financially "improve" your life. Take up a sport, meet some new people, learn to do something new. I'm just a teenager and I dont play for high stakes at all, but I love poker. And I'm determined to keep doing well in school and at basketball because I realize that even if I become a world class poker player(which i wont), I would hate life if that was all there was.

[KaneKungFu123]

[ QUOTE ]


I also recently had my right leg amputated (below knee) which I'm sure can't help my frame of mind.

[/ QUOTE ]

There goes my youth soccor recomendation. J/K

Sorry about that. Cant change the past though. Plenty of things to do in the world and lots of girls wanting to get [censored].

Bad beats are a bitch, move on.

take a trip outside the US. Go to Costa Rica. Eat alot of spicy food and [censored] some latina girls or go to Rome and drop Acid somewhere cool.

live it up. youll have plenty of time to be depressed when you are dead.

sincerely,
KKF

[KaneKungFu123]

[ QUOTE ]
seriously consider finding a doctor to prescribe you anti-depressants. you sound like you need them.

[/ QUOTE ]

or he could get laid and start living his life and let his free will and actions cure his depression.

[KaneKungFu123]

no wonder you are depressed. the advice in this thread really sucks. youre in a world full of donks.

check this out, though:

http://www.2naughty.net/model/sweetkrissy/sweetkrissy5s.jpg

[Fitz]

I recognize your symptons very well; I've seen them up close for quite some time in the love of my life. She is brilliant, educated and can literally do anything she puts her mind to. She has also tried to kill herself more times than I can count. When the depression sets in on her, it is a terrible thing to watch; I can't imagine what it is like for her. She is currently on her meds and doing pretty well.

You sound like a very bright guy, but you can't think your way out of this one. You need help. Get to a doctor and get regulated. There are meds they can give you that will not make you a zombie. Also, having a serious medical issue like an amputation would cause issues for any of us. Don't minimize what is happening to you, and get the help that can need.

Hang in there, and if you want to talk off line, drop me a message.

Good luck,

Fitz

[VoraciousReader]

[ QUOTE ]
I also recently had my right leg amputated (below knee) which I'm sure can't help my frame of mind. Actually, I was taken out of school during the last part of my Jr. year because I was "suicidally depressed"...I dunno, on paper it seems like my life should be extremely happy, but I'm honestly very unfulfilled. Is this all there is? Making money, eating nice food every night, and staying out late?.....please tell me there's more.

I'm sorry in advance for the rambling, but this seems pretty bad. Lacking desire to achieve in the future can pretty much say lacking the desire to live. Which certainly isn't +EV. My parents want me to see a doctor, but I honestly feel like I can overcome anything myself.....I just lack desire to.

[/ QUOTE ]

Please. Listen to your parents.

Depression is an insidious illness because it convinces the victim that there is no hope of a cure. Or there is no point in curing it because it just won't make much difference. Or that he/she could really shake it off if they would just buck up and do it.

Sound familiar? Depression can be soul-killing, and it affects how you perceive everything around you. (And men are much less likely to seek help for it than women are because, on the off-chance they admit that they feel bad, everyone tells them to "tough it out" "get a life" or "just get their sh!t together".)

What you are describing does not sound like normal teen angst. And it is certainly not normal to have part of a limb amputated.

Trust me, you CAN beat this. But you can not beat this without help. That is the depression talking, telling you that you are worthless, lazy, and unmotivated and that it's your fault that you just don't "get over it." It is <font color="red">not</font> your fault. You can not just "decide" to get better from depression, any more than you can just "decide" to get better from the flu.

Right now, you are going out and partying at night and sleeping all day and buying things because you are trying to drown out the voice that is telling you that you are in horrible pain. (I know that sleeping all day and partying all night and buying expensive stuff sounds like an adolescent fantasy, but 18 year-olds who are living that way because they truly enjoy it have energy to spare, healthy appetites, and don't get diagnosed as suicidally depressed.)

To answer your question: is there more? Yes. There is joy and beauty and love and great sex. There are fantastic memories to be made and a world full of incredible places to see. (Did I mention great sex?) There is the satisfaction of achievement (something it sounds like you are experienced in.) Depending on your spiritual beliefs, there is enlightenment, there is a furthering of your relationship with God, there is the peace of finding out what you were truly intended to do with your life. There is service to others, there is the love of your family, the chance to make the world a better place. (And trust me, no high school senior has truly experienced Great Sex...)

You can't see any of that now because you are depressed. But it is there. Please start seeing a doctor right away.

I know a lot about this from personal experience. You may PM me if you wish and I will be happy to listen to you or talk with you about some of my experiences (not the Great Sex, though, some things you will have to find out on your own...er...you know what I mean) /images/graemlins/grin.gif

Or try here: link (http://www.depression-forums.com/)
Amanda

[KaneKungFu123]

how you doing amanda?

[A_Junglen]

[ QUOTE ]
no wonder you are depressed. the advice in this thread really sucks. youre in a world full of donks.

check this out, though:

http://www.2naughty.net/model/sweetkrissy/sweetkrissy5s.jpg

[/ QUOTE ]

lol, sorry but pornography definitely doesn't help...prob makes things worse. Watching people with no respect for themselves perform their "job" really isn't satisfying in the least for me. (for someone my age saying this may be a bad sign in itself)

[James Boston]

You may be clinically depressed and need help, but I'm not qualified to give you advice on that.

My advice...ENJOY LIFE! You're at the age where you're supposed to be care free and enjoy everything. Go to college, even if you think it's a waste of time. Get drunk, meet girls, skip a few classes. You're way too young to be worried about making money. Trust me, it ain't that big of a deal. No doctor, no poker game, no anything can substitute a quick stop to smell the proverbial roses. If you mope through this period of your life, you will always regret it. Have fun.

I would goto college man. Get a real degree in computer science of information technology. You can play poker while you are in college taking classes. Then when you get a job you can make 60G from your computer job and play poker on the side for 100 bux a day. Thatll be some nice money

[PairTheBoard]

Do like your parents suggest and get professional help.

Get involved with something involving people that seems meaningful to you.

Learn about things other than the technical. Talk to your English teacher about some good literature to read. Drop in on a nearby college campus and meet with some faculty members during their office hours. I'm talking about faculty in the Liberal Arts. Broaden your intellectual horizens.

Hang in there. Losing part of your leg must be a huge trauma. You are grieving that loss and it will take time to heal in that process.

You will find the meaning you seek when you discover your mission in life. That mission may have nothing to do with computers, poker, or money. Read everything you can get your hands on to help you find out what it is.

PairTheBoard

[Piemaster]

Obviously there is a lot going on here, but there is one thing you can do right here right now to help yourself. When you wake up this afternoon, set your alarm clock for 9am and force yourself out of bed by 9:30 at the latest. It will be hard for the first couple of days but your body will soon get used to it.

You see lots of good things come from getting up early. First of all, darkness can cause depression, while light can help cure it. It sounds like complete [censored], but actually it has been found that exposing people with depression to light boxes helps them feel better, and dperession rates are much higher in the winter when it is darker. By getting up earlier, you will allow yourself to spend more time in the light and less in the dark.

Secondly it will help regulate your day a little. You can be awake at normal times, do normal things, meet normal people and hopefully have normal mealtimes. What is probably contributing to your depression is that right now you are out of sync with the entire world.

[anDDreas]

it's called depression my man...
if you do not want to see a therapist or psychologist, i suggest finding a venting hobby. Writing for example.
But shrinks really do help. Think of it as just a person to talk to.

goodluck

[Joshssj4]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
no wonder you are depressed. the advice in this thread really sucks. youre in a world full of donks.

check this out, though:

http://www.2naughty.net/model/sweetkrissy/sweetkrissy5s.jpg

[/ QUOTE ]

lol, sorry but pornography definitely doesn't help...prob makes things worse. Watching people with no respect for themselves perform their "job" really isn't satisfying in the least for me. (for someone my age saying this may be a bad sign in itself)

[/ QUOTE ]
You can honestly say that looking at this picture does not make you smile? This could brighten any mans day.

[Marlow]

Amanda gives absolutely fantastic advice here. See a doctor.

You also sound as though you might be contemplating suicide. Even if it has ever crossed your mind, I urge you to give Samariteens a call (800-252-TEEN). There, you can talk with other teenagers about everything that you are going through. They can even recommend options aside from a doctor, if you are interested.

Good luck,

Marlow

[spaminator101]

have you tried reading the bible
are you religious
also it might help if you posted this in the Science, Math Philosophy Forum

[masse75]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
no wonder you are depressed. the advice in this thread really sucks. youre in a world full of donks.

check this out, though:

http://www.2naughty.net/model/sweetkrissy/sweetkrissy5s.jpg

[/ QUOTE ]

lol, sorry but pornography definitely doesn't help...prob makes things worse. Watching people with no respect for themselves perform their "job" really isn't satisfying in the least for me. (for someone my age saying this may be a bad sign in itself)

[/ QUOTE ]
You can honestly say that looking at this picture does not make you smile? This could brighten any mans day.

[/ QUOTE ]

Tell that to Big Steve.

[conslice]

hey im in the same spot as you. its just depression. if u talk to a doctor u can get pills for it. i choose not to take pills however its a pretty ruff ride when it kicks in especialy mized with the varience of poker i found that once i found out it was just an imbalance i understood it and now i just know whenever i get like that im just being a fool and i just ignore depressing thoughts

[A_Junglen]

[ QUOTE ]
hey im in the same spot as you. its just depression. if u talk to a doctor u can get pills for it. i choose not to take pills however its a pretty ruff ride when it kicks in especialy mized with the varience of poker i found that once i found out it was just an imbalance i understood it and now i just know whenever i get like that im just being a fool and i just ignore depressing thoughts

[/ QUOTE ]

Hard for me to ignore depressing thoughts when it's a pain in the arse to do anything (ie: walk).

[PairTheBoard]

[ QUOTE ]
A_Junglen --
Hard for me to ignore depressing thoughts when it's a pain in the arse to do anything (ie: walk).

[/ QUOTE ]

Try swimming. The exercise will help and it shouldn't bother your leg.



[ QUOTE ]
A_Junglen --
My parents want me to see a doctor, but I honestly feel like I can overcome anything myself.....I just lack desire to.


[/ QUOTE ]

If help is available why not get it? Why handicap yourself?

PairTheBoard

[Myst]

[ QUOTE ]

Hard for me to ignore depressing thoughts when it's a pain in the arse to do anything (ie: walk).

[/ QUOTE ]

OK, enough of this self-pity BS. Its YOUR LIFE. Take control of it. Everybody have problems, some of them bigger, some of them smaller than your own. The key to dealing with it is all there in your head. You have TOTAL CONTROL, to feel pleasure, to feel pain in whatever you may do.

[tdarko]

what caused the amputation? you do not have to answer this if you do not feel necessary.

[A_Junglen]

[ QUOTE ]
what caused the amputation? you do not have to answer this if you do not feel necessary.

[/ QUOTE ]

Amputation was 17th surgery in my life. It was the alternative to having years and years of foot/heel adjustments. So instead of having 34 surgeries when im 34....the number will hopefully be no higher than 20.

I was born with club feet, and my right foot stopped growing after i was about 10. Both of my feet are small, and it's rather embrassing purchasing shoes. I had to have my ankle fused when I was very young, amgonst the flurry of operations. My whole life I've had to deal with criticsm's of other's as far as my "slight limp" and "small feet".

I've also had several operations on my hands. I was born with amniotic banding, therefore causing me to have 7 fingers. Great for throwin a split-finger in baseball, not so great when everybody stares you down. This doesn't bother me NEARLY as much as the leg problems. I can still type 80WPM easily (40wpm only on my hand that was 3 fingers).

I finally started driving again, and I can honestly say driving around seems to make me feel good. Driving on the highway, in the sunlight, windows down, with music playing....really felt greeat to be on the road again.

I think you need a shirt that says "Tis but a scratch" or "It's just a flesh wound." It'll cheer you up.

[Perseus]

Life is what you make of it. My fathers best friend has had problems VERY similar to yours in terms of fused joints in hands (i.e only two fingers on one hand) and he is the happiest person I know. 50 now, and his favorite thing in the world is to go canoeing.

But it doesn't sound like this stuff is bothering you that much compared to feeling depressed.

I was very depressed my senior year of high school/first year of college. I met great people in college and my life turned around completely.

Go to college. You have the rest of your life to work/make money/play poker. If possible, go to a college where you live there, and not live at home or in your hometown (I know this may not be possible).

You'll come out of it

Gl,
Jon

[HentaiGaijin]

Whatever you do, don't let someone talk you into believing a lie, like "taking your problems to Jesus." Find a way to solve this crap yourself and you'll become a much stronger and successful man.

Find good friends to hang out with, who actually give a damn about you. Find a career you'd like to become a part of and figure out the path to get there.

Change yourself. Transform. Become the better man.

Listen to some pounding hardcore music like Hatebreed or Gorilla Biscuits /images/graemlins/smile.gif

"Perseverance
Against all opposition
Crushing all limitations
Pure strength through solitude
Discipline and determination"

[xniNja]

Alright. Here's my real, gritty, advice. Only to the OP- I don't want to hear any sht from anyone else.

1) The meal a day/feeling sick/etc. is common, at least for me... it goes with the sleeping patterns and lifestyle. You can easily change this over a week if you wanted to routinize your lifestyle.

What I prefer to do? Smoke weed. It's not for everyone, it may not be for you, but with all the pain you've been dealt I wouldn't think twice about blazing for the pain, for your appetite, or to get to sleep. It also relieves muscle tension and arthritis.

2) Life sucks. For EVERYONE. A LOT of the time.

You probably feel like you got shortended in a lot of ways, and you probably did- but you have to understand that most people are depressed. A lot don't act like it, some are genuinely happy at times, but no one is just innately happy with their current situation as it is- it's a chemical brain condition, our perceived happiness becomes the base and we strive for a greater happiness. I don't remember enough biology to explain better than that, but trust me on this.

3) BALL IT UP.
You got some nice toys, but they suck. Music, yea- ok. Laptop &amp; stuff, functional... Convertible now that's something to brag about. If you're depressed the day after you buy a convertible with money won from Poker as you cruise down the block, I will personally come smoke you out 'til you don't remember why you were depressed in the first place.

[ QUOTE ]
Is this all there is? Making money, eating nice food every night, and staying out late?.....please tell me there's more.

[/ QUOTE ]

There's not really much more... sex, personal fulfillment in philosophy/knowledge/art, and spending your money... but there are enough random things in the world to keep your interest for at least another 20 years.

[einbert]

I read your post and I can empathize with your problem. Depression is a very painful process which is caused usually by the loss of something very close to you. This could be a parent, girlfriend, or money, but usually it is something to do with your belief system and the way you view the world. For example it is very natural for someone to experience deep depression coming out of college because suddenly the world becomes a place where they must constantly work to survive instead of be supported by their parents.

The thing that you are trying to "give up" emotionally could certainly be your leg. To me, that would really represent a loss of independence and the ability to do a ton of things. Especially from how you have talked about your recent lack of competitive drive, it makes perfect sense. Losing what you've lost represents to you losing the ability to compete with other people in many areas. I know I would experience a depression if the same thing happened to me. That may not be it, though--only by embracing your suffering and lots of thought and contemplation can you truly discover what it is you are now missing.

Another possibility is that you may be feeling that you are leaving a state of financial dependence to a state of financial independence. While this is a very exciting move to make, it is also a terrifying one in many ways. I experienced a time of depression when I made this transition as well.

As you get older and you question the things you have always believed, it is a naturally very painful process to give up the old reality and that is what is probably causing your depression. The depression occurs because you know what you used to believe won't work, but you are very afraid of entering into a new belief. Your mind right now is in sort of an in-between state, a vacuum of sorts. The best thing to do now is try to figure out what belief or thing you have had to let go of, and try to embrace your new belief or new reality. This is a very painful and difficult process, and the most essential part is facing the pain and suffering rather than avoiding it. Avoiding the depression will cause it to last longer and longer--many people remain in depression for years or even their whole lives because it is too difficult to actually face the pain and suffering that a new reality demands.

[ QUOTE ]
My parents want me to see a doctor, but I honestly feel like I can overcome anything myself.....I just lack desire to.

[/ QUOTE ]

You talk about all the money you have made, and I think that's great. You have invested your time into your future security, which shows a lot of maturity. I think you could make another really great investment in your future by going to see a psychologist. He or she can help you understand exactly why you are depressed, and they can help you embrace the suffering of depression so that you can move on with your life. The process of facing depression is always painful, but it is much more fast with the help of a psychologist. And you might just learn a lot of things about yourself that you never would have without his help.

Feel free to PM me if you ever want to talk or have any questions about anything /images/graemlins/smile.gif.

Josh

[xniNja]

Hey einbert, I just find it semi-amusing you come out with well-thought, well written and intelligent posts here... I dunno what you were thinking on that guy's religious views post. You getting enough sleep? haha.

[m1illion]

[ QUOTE ]
Well, I've been meaning to post this for awhile, but finally got around to it. Please note the time...it's 6am. Today I woke up at 5pm....

Anyways, I've noticed that I no longer feel motivated to do...well anything. Let me give you my background. I'm a senior in HS, have already earned a computer network certification (equivalent of a 2 yr associates degree). I could probably get a job right now in the technical field. I currently 6 table the 20-2's and am doing very well. I also play a few mtt's a week and recently made 2k in one night. Basically...after winning, I noticed that I honestly don't care that much. I'm getting a $1,300 check next week, and instead of having fun with it (like almost anyone else my age) I'm doing my lil accounting spiel. Everynight for the past month that I've played online I'm up at least $100, which is signficant money for most people my age. All this money is desensitizing me it seems like.

I've played poker since I was 16, and from it have lived a "lucrative teenage lifestyle", buying a laptop, PC, iPod, razr cell phone, expensive headphones, and in a month I plan on buying a convertible (hopefully).

Through all of this however I've noticed that I don't care about my future at all. It may sound cocky, but I think it's more confidence, but I'm pretty sure that no matter what I pursue I'll succeed at. Not too many people at my age have a computer certification. I've always been very competitve and generally see that what I want, I almost always get....but how come lately I have no desire to achieve anything. Who cares about the future...I'll get an amazing job, and make more money than God. But honestly, money isn't everything. It certainly cannot buy happiness.

My sleep/eating habits have also become very warped. I eat maybe a meal everyday (very little). I'm always hungry, but when I eat I feel sick and stop...still hungry when I stop..it's very weird.My sleep schedule is 12hours off from the average american. I'm waking up when the 9-5er's are gettin home.

I also recently had my right leg amputated (below knee) which I'm sure can't help my frame of mind. Actually, I was taken out of school during the last part of my Jr. year because I was "suicidally depressed"...I dunno, on paper it seems like my life should be extremely happy, but I'm honestly very unfulfilled. Is this all there is? Making money, eating nice food every night, and staying out late?.....please tell me there's more.

I'm sorry in advance for the rambling, but this seems pretty bad. Lacking desire to achieve in the future can pretty much say lacking the desire to live. Which certainly isn't +EV. My parents want me to see a doctor, but I honestly feel like I can overcome anything myself.....I just lack desire to.

[/ QUOTE ]


"but I'm honestly very unfulfilled. Is this all there is?"

This particular thought is, I believe, the key. IMO you don't need a psycologist or therapist or any other crap like that. Not yet anyway.
Volunteer to be a Big Brother. Go read to kids at a Burn Center or Cancer Ward. Help out at a soup kitchen. Deliver meals to the home bound. If that doesn't shake you loose then maybe professional help is called for.
If you're not interested in trying those thing then you're just feeling sorry for yourself and wasting other peoples time.

[dibbs]

There's way more to life than money and theres way more to life than poker, just find happiness and you should be good.

At least you realize the road you may be treading down, hundreds of other kids in the same spot as you dont and that helps a lot I think, good luck.