Playing Poker When Upset

[mockingbird]

This afternoon I was very very emotionally upset about a situation and came home and logged on to play HE. I ended up losing about 40BB in a very short period of time.

I know this is not a huge amount in poker terms but it was not necessary. Although, I'm not entirely sure it was from being on tilt. I had pocket A's 4 times - 3 times I lost quite a bit ( people hitting flushes or gut shots on river etc. ) and once I won the blinds. It kind of sucked.

Anyway the psych forum is definitely the right place to post. What upset me was a situation where a former counselor ( Social Worker ) that I had gone to for about 10 months, joined a running group in which I know all the people. Anyway, she told them all about everything I had told her in therapy. Then, a so called friend of mine would get together with me and pump me for more info to bring back to the little group.

It is quite a bit more complex than this - and more of a violation. It went on for months before I realized what wat happening.

So I ran into some of these people and got very upset.

I should have known better than to play poker, but it I did it anyway. ????

I'm sure other situations will come up that upset me and I'm not sure how to deal with this. As an aside, calling my family dysfunctional is an insult to dysfunctional families. My mother is a tremendously toxic, shaming, and abusive individual.

Any constructive feedback???

[autobet]

Don't play when you don't feel weel emotionally or physically.

[Bartman387]

Wow, first off, what your counselor did is obviously extremely unethical, I hope she was properly reprimanded. horrible, horrible thing.

My rule for not playing is
H ungry
A ngry
L onely
T ired

I never play when I am any of these it is completely -EV, before you sit down to play just check yourself. If you are hungru grab a bite to eat first. If you are angry get a way from the comp, and do something else that relaxes you and relieves tension, such as going out to a movie, exercising, etc. If you are lonely call some friends or at least go out and interact with people. If you are tired take a nap. Simplistic stuff, but still something many people dont recognize.

[chesspain]

[ QUOTE ]
What upset me was a situation where a former counselor ( Social Worker ) that I had gone to for about 10 months, joined a running group in which I know all the people. Anyway, she told them all about everything I had told her in therapy.

[/ QUOTE ]

If you have credible evidence that the social worker violated your confidentiality--such as there being information that you told only to her being repeated back to you--then I would recommend that you file a written complaint with the licensing board in your state which oversees social workers.

[StellarWind]

[ QUOTE ]
Any constructive feedback???

[/ QUOTE ]
1. Being upset seriously hurts your ability to play poker. But you already know this.

2. Most bad results achieved by impaired players are due to variance. This is a corollary of the fact that most bad results of all players are due to variance. But you'll probably blame yourself for playing if you lose and that will only make things worse emotionally-speaking. You want to do positive things so you will feel better.

3. When I'm upset or tilted or something but want to play for pleasure, I play cheap SNGs. Little money is at stake and my large skill edge ensures that I can't really be -EV even if I'm not my best.

[pokerjoker]

Mental toughness can be the toughest part of poker playing in my opinion.

I wrote down a list of errors I made when I lost money playing and I review it for 2 min before every session. It has helped tremendously.

You gotta report that social worker (although I am not sure to who). That is one of the worst breaches of ethics possible.

I do not understand the specifics of your family situation but I also wish you the best of luck there.

[Al Schoonmaker]

First, don't play poker when you're upset. Read my series on tilt at cardplayer.com.

Second, your therapist has violated professional ethics and may be liable to extreme penalties, including loss of license. You may also be eligible for damages.

The professional associations take violation of confidentiality very seriously. I urge you to file a formal complaint. You might also contact an attorney.

Regards,

Al

[magiluke]

[ QUOTE ]
My rule for not playing is
H ungry
A ngry
L onely
T ired


[/ QUOTE ]

I like that. That's pretty much the way it works for me too, I just don't have a little diagram attached to mine.

There's been times when I would roll out of bed onto my computer and lose $50 because I'm not awake yet... I find it best to be in at least a normal mindset when playing poker, or even just gambling in general. There's been a could times when it's late at night, and a couple of friends drag me down to AC when I'm not really feeling up to it. It's cost me several hundred dollars.

Just in general, I say only gamble when you are well rested and in a clear/normal state of mind.

[BigBaitsim (milo)]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
What upset me was a situation where a former counselor ( Social Worker ) that I had gone to for about 10 months, joined a running group in which I know all the people. Anyway, she told them all about everything I had told her in therapy.

[/ QUOTE ]

If you have credible evidence that the social worker violated your confidentiality--such as there being information that you told only to her being repeated back to you--then I would recommend that you file a written complaint with the licensing board in your state which oversees social workers.

[/ QUOTE ]

[poker-penguin]

My anagram is

Stupid (If I make 2 bad decisions, I'm done)
Tired (obvious)
Off Balance (kind of a catch all - distracted, bored, whatever)
Pissed off (obvious I think)

Much the same idea really.

[mockingbird]

I want to thank everyone for their replies and support. I do plan on reporting this social worker to the professional licensing board.

I dont know how it will turn out as im sure the people involved will lie to cover for her.

I didnt respond until now because I had to replace the motherboard and then the keyboard on my computer. ( I spilled some coffee on it. - You know how when it rains it pours. Oh well. )

Actually, my computer, a Dell, is still covered under the insurance I bought with it. So the parts were free and Dell sent a tech to my house to install the parts, also free. Good deal. Glad I had the insurance.

Thanks again.

[autobet]

Good luck.

[Bodhi]

[ QUOTE ]
I urge you to file a formal complaint. You might also contact an attorney.

[/ QUOTE ]

There's a psychologist in my family and I would be shocked (and ashamed by association) if she ever did anything like what the OP described.

[PLOlover]

[ QUOTE ]
Never let anyone outside the family know what you're thinking.

[/ QUOTE ]

[ QUOTE ]
First, don't play poker when you're upset. Read my series on tilt at cardplayer.com.
Al

[/ QUOTE ]

Please could you provide a link - I can't seem to find it...

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
First, don't play poker when you're upset. Read my series on tilt at cardplayer.com.
Al

[/ QUOTE ]

Please could you provide a link - I can't seem to find it...

[/ QUOTE ]

http://www.simplyholdem.com/articles.html

found it

[vexvelour]

Seriously, go after that ho and sue her. Talk to her higher-up, consult with a laywer. That was completely wrong, and it should be known that she is not a therapist that can be trusted in her line of business. Perhaps you are not the only one she's done this to.

[ QUOTE ]
I should have known better than to play poker, but it I did it anyway. ????

[/ QUOTE ]

Secondly, DO know you shouldn't play when you're that upset. It's understandable to want to forget about your problem, but poker just isn't the right activity. (Hopefully you didn't lose too much.) I recommend picking up a novel or watching a movie to help relieve your mind.

[peachy]

dont play in that condition