GF drug use poll/question/help

[irishpint]

So we're both 21, and tonight I found out that 2 years ago, when she was a sophomore in college she smoked pot daily (i knew that, and am sort of guilty) but tonight i also found out she did coke a few times, did E (or X or whatever it's called) a few times, and did specialk (dont even know what that is), shroomed a few times and did aderol/ritalin. I am really disappointed but dont know what my reaction should be. It was a few years ago, but regardless I can't believe people do this to themselves and more importantly I dont want to be caring for someone who is tearing themselves apart (btw she smokes occassionally now, and said she'd do shrooms again, but is 'done' w/ the other stuff).

You know what I've learned here in my seven years here at Coolidge, Timmy? I've learned that you can't treat every situation as a life and death matter, because you'll die a lot of times. Write that down.

http://us.movies1.yimg.com/movies.yahoo.com/images/hv/photo/movie_pix/artisan_entertainment/national_lampoon_s_van_wilder/ryan_reynolds/vanwilder3.jpg

-Van

[irishpint]

[ QUOTE ]
You know what I've learned here in my seven years here at Coolidge, Timmy? I've learned that you can't treat every situation as a life and death matter, because you'll die a lot of times. Write that down.

http://us.movies1.yimg.com/movies.yahoo.com/images/hv/photo/movie_pix/artisan_entertainment/national_lampoon_s_van_wilder/ryan_reynolds/vanwilder3.jpg

-Van

[/ QUOTE ]

that is [censored] awesome. made my day, you kind soul. heh

[peachy]

ive done far far far worse...most guys i date know about it (i never hide it)...i dont do it anymore...which is what matters...the past is the PAST...dont let it ruin the FUTURE - espeicially in something like that

[oreogod]

lame.

On the other hand, at least you are not this guy:

"Mickey Rourke was confronted outside a London nightclub by a jilted student in the early hours of yesterday morning, after the man's model girlfriend ditched him mid-date for the veteran actor. The Sin City star, 48, left the Boujis club in the British capital's Kensington district with young beauty Anya Iniskia. Iniskia had been on a date with her boyfriend Andreas Franzi, 22, who angrily followed the pair outside where he challenged Rourke to hand Iniskia back. While being held back by the nightclub's doormen, Franzi shouted at the actor, "Hey, I want to talk to you. That's my girl you've got there. Who do you think you are, some big movie star? I could buy you ten times over." Former boxer Rourke, throwing shadow punches, responded, "Come over here, tough guy. I'll show you who I am." Rourke and Iniskia then got into a taxi and headed to the luxury Dorchester hotel, where they reportedly stayed until 1pm yesterday afternoon. Franzi, who has been living with Iniskia for five months, says, "I thought we'd be together always."

[oreogod]

to be honest...its only when you start hearing about the gangbangs that you really have to be worried. Until then, its all smooth sailing, bro.

Dont get your panties in a bunch.

[KeysrSoze]

Man, people are so hung up on drugs. You don't hear alot of people get upset about how someone they know was a total lush in college, and such. Probably subconsiously more worried about what they did while on them/how they got all those drugs in the first place (cough CRACKWHORE cough).

[Vote4Pedro]

Sounds like you have a winner......as long as she isnt shooting up

[sexdrugsmoney]

[ QUOTE ]
I am really disappointed but dont know what my reaction should be. It was a few years ago, but regardless I can't believe people do this to themselves and more importantly I dont want to be caring for someone who is tearing themselves apart...

[/ QUOTE ]

Thankyou Oprah ... geez how do douche-bags like you get girls anyway?

Listen, don't take offence to the above remark, and the one that follows:

Welcome to the real world

People aren't perfect, life is full of choices, don't YOU make a stupid choice based on this information about a girl you otherwise care about.

Trust me my friend, if you [censored] up your relationship over this [censored] you will regret it, and it's such a non-[censored] issue, some drug experimentation ... big deal c'mon?!

Cheers,
SDM

PS - Because I care. /images/graemlins/wink.gif

[oneeye13]

teabag her. teabag the hell outta her.

[Harv72b]

Special K is bad news; it's basically an animal tranquilizer. My sister did all the things your gf did & then some, which is how I know. FWIW, she's clean now...after 3 trips to rehab & narrowly avoiding prison time.

Would it bother me? Yes, having been through a relationship with a girl who self-destructed on heavy drugs. Would it be the end of the relationship? Not necessarily...if it's something she did in the past, then it's something she did in the past. People do crazy [censored]. If she says she doesn't do that kind of stuff anymore, then it's all about trust--can you trust her at her word, or are you going to feel the need to check up on her all the time?

If the latter, you might as well just break up now & save the both of you a lot of heartache.

[cyberSTACK]

It is college. Everyone does a little coke, weed, etc...

I wouldn't be worried about it now.

If you hear she was getting stuffed regurlarly by strange men I might think twice.

[gorie]

i don't think it is wrong that it bothers you. you can't help that.

a lot of people will experiment with drugs and you can't really hold it against them for something they've done in the past. but it is easy to form opinions on someone based on knowing things about them you don't really like. you sound a little unsure whether or not you believe she is really 'done' with the other stuff though so i assume that is part of why you are bothered by it. as long as it is in the past, i am sure you will be able to look past it if you like her enough.

still, i think the fact that she has done this stuff says something about her personality and the fact that you are disturbed about it says something about yours. like you see something in her now that makes you question if she is the right girl for you.

anyway, i doubt she will turn into a big drug addict or something though, so i think you're ok. /images/graemlins/tongue.gif

and if it means anything i wouldn't want to get involved with someone who has done a lot of drugs either. but i am pretty weird about that stuff.

[siccjay]

Do you have Netflix? Put "Chasing Amy" at the top of the que, or just go buy it.

[Zurvan]

Let it go, she was 19. She did some drugs, not a big deal. I mean, unless she was prostituting herself or stealing cars to pay for it, who gives a crap?

Also - I voted no on the past thing, but that was specific to this issue. You should be worried about your partners past, but only in the "what do you mean you gang-banged 20 guys?" sense.

[billyjex]

dude, get over it. i've done all of those drugs and i'm the typical all american white boy. if you dig this girl it shouldn't matter.

more people you know have done hard drugs than you realize

[kyro]

If it was just weed I'd get over it. But the other stuff scares me. You have a right to be upset/disappointed. Whether or not you can continue on with the relationship, well I think that's completely dependent on how much you care for her right now.

[nothumb]

[ QUOTE ]
dude, get over it. i've done all of those drugs and i'm the typical all american white boy. if you dig this girl it shouldn't matter.

more people you know have done hard drugs than you realize

[/ QUOTE ]

Yep. It's always weird when someone goes abroad their junior year, comes back acting all 'worldly' and you find out they spent six months in Central America smoking crack.

To the OP, loosen up. For chrissakes. See if she can hook you up with a few percosets or something.

NT

[Boris]

Wow. You are friggin uptight. and only 21. Smoke a cigarette and chill the fck out.

[Sponger15SB]

Yes, you always have a right to be concerned about what she did in the past, but in this case, don't worry about it.

In fact maybe you should smoke a little pot yourself.

[Clarkmeister]

It's neither a big deal, nor your business.

[mmmmmbrother]

honestly man. i think you have to be worried about yourself;
come out of your [censored] bubble

Drugs are fine, but she's probably a slut...dump her.

Many

[TaoTe]

Some more information about the situation would be good. Like how close is your relationship? Our you dating and if so post a pic of her in somethin slutty. Okay, J/k (sorta). I don't see why past drug use should influence your decision. It's not like she killed little babies or anything. Everyone must get stoned.

[Sponger15SB]

[ QUOTE ]
It's neither a big deal, nor your business.

[/ QUOTE ]

Are you saying that its none of his business in this specific instance, or in every instance?

If one of your girlfriend's friends told you she used to be a prostitute and then you asked her about it, would you really be ok with her saying that it was none of your business?

[Clarkmeister]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
It's neither a big deal, nor your business.

[/ QUOTE ]

Are you saying that its none of his business in this specific instance, or in every instance?

If one of your girlfriend's friends told you she used to be a prostitute and then you asked her about it, would you really be ok with her saying that it was none of your business?

[/ QUOTE ]

Just because I might *want* to know, doesn't make it any of my business.

[Sponger15SB]

Right, well I guess I just disagree with you then.

[MagicMan08]

My gf would flip if she knew I smoked pot, but I do it like everyday so [censored] if I end up moving in with her I am kinda [censored].

[irishpint]

[ QUOTE ]
My gf would flip if she knew I smoked pot, but I do it like everyday so [censored] if I end up moving in with her I am kinda [censored].

[/ QUOTE ]

i dont care about pot. i smoke pot. i dont want to date someone who uses coke and E, etc.

[Hal 2000]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
My gf would flip if she knew I smoked pot, but I do it like everyday so [censored] if I end up moving in with her I am kinda [censored].

[/ QUOTE ]

i dont care about pot. i smoke pot. i dont want to date someone who uses coke and E, etc.

[/ QUOTE ]

'Drowning in his own hypocrisy'- N.I.N.

[MagicMan08]

but it seems that people who don't smoke pot and never have don't understand. I personally think I am a better person if I get high like once or twice a week. It makes you think about so much stuff...anyone else like thiS?

[zoomOut]

I'm totally with you on this. I don't care about pot either /images/graemlins/wink.gif but the other stuff I'm really old fashioned about. My husband has a bunch of friends who are really into partying. It makes me uncomfortable. He was willing to give up the coke thing for me as it just wasn't that important to him. Men are cool.

[zoomOut]

I don't get it. Why is it hypocrisy?

[irishpint]

[ QUOTE ]
honestly man. i think you have to be worried about yourself;
come out of your [censored] bubble

[/ QUOTE ]

my pot is ok but i dont want to date someone on E/coke bubble?

[Hal 2000]

[ QUOTE ]
I don't get it. Why is it hypocrisy?

[/ QUOTE ]

He smokes pot. That's why. I understand coke and E are a little worse; I wouldn't touch either of them myself. But, recreational drug use is recreational drug use. I don't think he's in a position to judge here.

[Harv72b]

[ QUOTE ]
He smokes pot. That's why. I understand coke and E are a little worse; I wouldn't touch either of them myself. But, recreational drug use is recreational drug use. I don't think he's in a position to judge here.

[/ QUOTE ]

I like to enjoy a beer or two every so often. That doesn't put me on par with the guy drinking whiskey out of the bottle every night.

[Phoenix1010]

I would be bothered and very disappointed. I have no justification for this. I wouldn't end the relationship, but I would need some kind of assurance that those things were behind her.

[irishpint]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I don't get it. Why is it hypocrisy?

[/ QUOTE ]

He smokes pot. That's why. I understand coke and E are a little worse; I wouldn't touch either of them myself. But, recreational drug use is recreational drug use. I don't think he's in a position to judge here.

[/ QUOTE ]

im trying not to judge- that's why i am curious what people have to say.

[cnfuzzd]

let me know when you are done with her....

peace

john nickle

[billyjex]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
He smokes pot. That's why. I understand coke and E are a little worse; I wouldn't touch either of them myself. But, recreational drug use is recreational drug use. I don't think he's in a position to judge here.

[/ QUOTE ]

I like to enjoy a beer or two every so often. That doesn't put me on par with the guy drinking whiskey out of the bottle every night.

[/ QUOTE ]

do you guys not get that someone who experimented in college a couple years ago is not a hardcore drug addict?

[zoomOut]

That's what I was thinking. I've known two girls that hit the tequila bottle pretty hard on a weekly basis and then got really out of control. That doesn't compare to me drinking some beer and maybe relaxing with a little, teeny bit of hooch does it? Then again I'm pretty naive about hard drugs so what do I know.

[Harv72b]

[ QUOTE ]
do you guys not get that someone who experimented in college a couple years ago is not a hardcore drug addict?

[/ QUOTE ]

It's like I said, if the girl really has cleaned up her act (or at least cut out the heavy [censored]), and the OP can trust her on that, then it's no problem.

But those are two pretty big clauses, and I don't think the OP is wrong in the least for being concerned about it. People don't generally experiment with Special K--you have to push your way through several gateways before you get to that one.

[billyjex]

i go to a college town, usa and i've done special k, and one of my good friends even dealt it for awhile. i mean, its not like i'm shooting up now ?

basically, this girl does not have a problem with drugs now. she experimented and is ok with doing one or two of the drugs if the chance came up, but its not a big deal to her. OP needs to relax.

[astroglide]

i think you're way off on this one clark. that "sounds like" a cool perspective to have, but it's just not practical.

[Philuva]

as long as she isn't doing heroin, or letting drugs (any drug including booze) control her life now, it is no big deal. seriously, casual use of e/coke is nothing.

[wacki]

[ QUOTE ]
i think you're way off on this one clark. that "sounds like" a cool perspective to have, but it's just not practical.

[/ QUOTE ]

*Insert a 2+2 cliche here.*

[irishpint]

[ QUOTE ]
seriously, casual use of e/coke is nothing.

[/ QUOTE ]

explain. apparently we're not on the same level her. from a personality/person standpoint, i think it says a lot about a person who takes coke/E for the better part of the year. am i wrong?

[zoomOut]

[ QUOTE ]
do you guys not get that someone who experimented in college a couple years ago is not a hardcore drug addict?

[/ QUOTE ]

I think we 'get it' billyjex we just don't like the idea of OP's girl snorting and chomping on SpecialK (and we don't trust her sorry little ass /images/graemlins/laugh.gif)

[irishpint]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
do you guys not get that someone who experimented in college a couple years ago is not a hardcore drug addict?

[/ QUOTE ]

I think we 'get it' billyjex we just don't like the idea of OP's girl snorting and chomping on SpecialK (and we don't trust her sorry little ass /images/graemlins/laugh.gif)

[/ QUOTE ]

perfect.

[touchfaith]

I personally do not classify P.O.T. and Shrooms as drugs as they both grow naturally and do not get 'processed' like cocaine and others do.

Getting past that in your mind goes a long ways.

I smoke P.O.T. and have done Shrooms.

I do not do drugs.


That being said, as others have mentioned, whats in the past is in the past and should remain that way. If it where to become the present or the future, then I think you would have something to become concerned about (should you disagree with her choice at that point).

[RicktheRuler]

[ QUOTE ]
to be honest...its only when you start hearing about the gangbangs that you really have to be worried. Until then, its all smooth sailing, bro.

Dont get your panties in a bunch.

[/ QUOTE ]

[RicktheRuler]

Honestly, you should take an E pill, bang her out, then smoke some weed and talk about how much fun it was.

That is the answer.

[Clarkmeister]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
It's neither a big deal, nor your business.

[/ QUOTE ]

Are you saying that its none of his business in this specific instance, or in every instance?

If one of your girlfriend's friends told you she used to be a prostitute and then you asked her about it, would you really be ok with her saying that it was none of your business?

[/ QUOTE ]

Just because I might *want* to know, doesn't make it any of my business.

[/ QUOTE ]


i think you're way off on this one clark. that "sounds like" a cool perspective to have, but it's just not practical.

[/ QUOTE ]

There's nothing cool about it though. It's IMO just a very obvious thing. Unless they have a communicable disease, I have no *right* to know anything about a S/O's past. Why on earth would I?

Like I said, that doesn't mean I wouldn't want to know, might benefit from knowing, or shouldn't know. But to suggest that one has a *right* to know about someone's personal past, that to me is absurd. It's totally their call what they choose to share.

Besides, I don't know what's impractical about it - it's not like you can force someone to divulge everything in their past you might want to know. To the contrary, I think it's impractical to want or expect someone to share every secret from their personal history with you in case you might now disapprove.

[The Goober]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
seriously, casual use of e/coke is nothing.

[/ QUOTE ]

explain. apparently we're not on the same level her. from a personality/person standpoint, i think it says a lot about a person who takes coke/E for the better part of the year. am i wrong?

[/ QUOTE ]

Don't forget that the most addictive drug of them all is alcohol - its the only drug that you can form a strong enough dependency on that they will give it to you in the hospital to keep you alive.

Your girl didn't do anything (except weed) "the better part of year" - she tried some stuff a few times. Don't believe the DARE bullshit that if you snort one line of coke you are now a helpless coke addict for the rest of your life. Clearly your girl has a strong enough mind to be able to try these things and not get in trouble.

Maybe what really bothers you is just that she doesn't share your dogmatic rejection of all "hard" drugs, and that she wanted to see for herself? I suppose this is a legitimate concern, but I think that what you are feeling now is closer to jealousy than anything else. You don't like being reminded that maybe there are possiblities beyond your somewhat narrow view of drugs.

[wacki]

[ QUOTE ]
Unless they have a communicable disease, I have no *right* to know anything about a S/O's past.

[/ QUOTE ]

See, this is what you are overlooking. The practical part of things. If a woman was a prostitute she will almost ALWAYS have a very very bad strain of cancerous warts. Your significant other will give those to you and she probably will end up dying of cervical cancer.

As far as communicable diseases, you would have to hit the lottery if warts were the only thing she had. Don't forget, that just because someone has herpes, doesn't mean there isn't a far far far worse variety out there. This is information you need to know.

If you dump her or not is your decision. If I was in love I would stay with her but I would be very pissed if she didn't tell me about any of this first. It's a complete lack of trust IMO.

[wacki]

[ QUOTE ]
To the OP, loosen up. For chrissakes. See if she can hook you up with a few percosets or something.

NT

[/ QUOTE ]

I was going to go with shrooms, soma, X, or even weed. The OP also needs to stop believing all of the antidrug propaganda and pick up a medical journal.

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
It's neither a big deal, nor your business.

[/ QUOTE ]

Are you saying that its none of his business in this specific instance, or in every instance?

If one of your girlfriend's friends told you she used to be a prostitute and then you asked her about it, would you really be ok with her saying that it was none of your business?

[/ QUOTE ]

Just because I might *want* to know, doesn't make it any of my business.

[/ QUOTE ]


i think you're way off on this one clark. that "sounds like" a cool perspective to have, but it's just not practical.

[/ QUOTE ]

There's nothing cool about it though. It's IMO just a very obvious thing. Unless they have a communicable disease, I have no *right* to know anything about a S/O's past. Why on earth would I?

Like I said, that doesn't mean I wouldn't want to know, might benefit from knowing, or shouldn't know. But to suggest that one has a *right* to know about someone's personal past, that to me is absurd. It's totally their call what they choose to share.

Besides, I don't know what's impractical about it - it's not like you can force someone to divulge everything in their past you might want to know. To the contrary, I think it's impractical to want or expect someone to share every secret from their personal history with you in case you might now disapprove.

[/ QUOTE ]

I think it is his "right" to set the conditions under which their relationship can continue including knowledge of her past drug use and future drug use.

Bythe way, I think your posts are generally pretty funny.

Many

[irishpint]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
To the OP, loosen up. For chrissakes. See if she can hook you up with a few percosets or something.

NT

[/ QUOTE ]

because a medical journal will say year of coke + E = inhanced brain power?

I was going to go with shrooms, soma, X, or even weed. The OP also needs to stop believing all of the antidrug propaganda and pick up a medical journal.

[/ QUOTE ]

[billyjex]

i think this girl needs to be the one dumping you.

[ChipWrecked]

You had probably better break it off whatever OOT thinks, because your resentment and mistrust are going to poison the relationship now anyway.

[KDawgCometh]

as someone who has been affected by girls thinking the same way you are thinking, I think I can shed some light on this. I have had a long history with many drugs, some I have done more then others. It is unfair to your GF to judge her on it. I have been judged when I divulged some of my past activities and have then been left behind several times before anything ever got started. I think you are being very naive to think that many people will go through college now adays w/o having done a fair amount of rec drug usage. What she has done in teh past is very light. She did some e and she blew some coke, honestly, its not that big a deal. In fact she hasn't done all that much, and I am speaking from experience. THe root of all this is that you distrust her and you are also upset that she isn't what you originally thought of her, get over it. Its unfair to her for you to take this line of thought, if you like her, you like her. If you can't get over your judgements of her past, then do her and yourself a favor and end the realtionship