Need to open bottle of wine w/o a wine opener. Help!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Kama45]

So a bottle of wine is the only alcohol I have left, but I have no wine opener. Try as I might, I can't smash the cork in like I did in my youth. /Any MacGyvers out there? If it helps, I have a piece of dental floss, a penny, and complimentary deck of cards from the Gambler's Bookshop[. I've even tried having a good time sober...Help!!!!111!!!11!!!1!!!!!one!!!!

[Claunchy]

Go to the store. Buy a cheap 1 dollar bottle opener, and a 6-pack in case the wine isn't enough.

You're welcome.

[smokingrobot]

dear god man. do you have a butter knife and any blunt instrument? stick the butter knife on top of the cork. hit. push cork into bottle, little cork pieces you may swallow, but hey, you're drinkin right?

[jesusarenque]

You misspelled corkscrew.

[Wyers]

Push the cork into the bottle.

take the dental floss, tie it around the penny. then open the deck of cards, take out the jack of spades. now, grab the bottle and the jackless deck of cards, and place them on your kitchen counter with the cards directly underneath the bottle face-up.

now, here's where it gets a little trickey; STOP MAKING CRAPPY POSTS!!!!!!!

just kiddin man /images/graemlins/wink.gif

[Claunchy]

[ QUOTE ]
I can't smash the cork in

[/ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Push the cork into the bottle.

[/ QUOTE ]
/images/graemlins/confused.gif /images/graemlins/confused.gif /images/graemlins/confused.gif

[Kama45]

Crap. I think it's due to the Vegas heat and the cork expanding that I can't smash it in. Maybe if I boil some water in a stew pot,put the wine bottle in the stew, add some celery, then the cork will pop out!

P.S. Anyone going to Rainbow Bar and Grill tonight?!?!?!!!!!1!!!!eleven!!11!!!

[kipin]

Try to get something thin down the side of the cork and pry it out. I've seen it work before.

[ethan]

[ QUOTE ]
Try to get something thin down the side of the cork and pry it out. I've seen it work before.

[/ QUOTE ]

Doing this incorrectly could also conceivably shatter the neck of the bottle, in which case he gets no wine.

If you have the supplies, I'd suggest putting a screw into the cork and then pulling it out with pliers.

[Scotch78]

If you have a large butcher knife, simply whack the stem off. Yes, you really can do this, and I've seen a tiny girl bartender do it, so you better have the strength.

Scott

[BusterStacks]

[ QUOTE ]
If you have a large butcher knife, simply whack the stem off. Yes, you really can do this, and I've seen a tiny girl bartender do it, so you better have the strength.

Scott

[/ QUOTE ]

no freakin' way

[smokingrobot]

jesus god dude stop keeping us in suspense! so didja get the cork out or what?!?!11100!!?!11

[SossMan]

[ QUOTE ]
?!!!!!1!!!!eleven!!11!!!

[/ QUOTE ]

friggin hilarious!!

[Scotch78]

[ QUOTE ]
no freakin' way

[/ QUOTE ]

Yes way. You do not throw away a $90 bottle of wine because of a stuck cork, nor do you waste 10 minutes fishing it out while the customer waits. So instead you chop the stem off and pour the wine through a coffee filter to remove any tiny pieces of glass.

Scott

[Ray Zee]

simple

put the penny on the cork, roll up a couple of cards to make a sturdy tube and use the side of the deck to drive the cork into the bottle. then report back to us if the wine was good. if you fail hang yourself with the floss as you are of no use to the world

[ QUOTE ]
simple

put the penny on the cork, roll up a couple of cards to make a sturdy tube and use the side of the deck to drive the cork into the bottle. then report back to us if the wine was good. if you fail hang yourself with the floss as you are of no use to the world

[/ QUOTE ]

ok that was good! POTD

[smokingrobot]

have you tried this before? it sounds like it should work perfectly.

also, KEM cards? or any standard issue will do?

[Benal]

Take a screw, a pointy one you would use in wood, screw it into the cork, use a pair of plyers to pull the cork out.

Or push cork into bottle.

[asofel]

i have finally seen the light that is Ray Zee.

[Matty]

why must you keep making avatars that I have to block?

[stigmata]

1)A long-winded method is to freeze the wine so that it expands enough to push the cork half way out. Now pull the cork out, and stand the wine in warm water until it reaches a pleasing temparature.

2) A medium sized screw, a screwdrive and a pair of pliers works, believe it or not.

[beerbandit]

[ QUOTE ]
simple

put the penny on the cork, roll up a couple of cards to make a sturdy tube and use the side of the deck to drive the cork into the bottle. then report back to us if the wine was good. if you fail hang yourself with the floss as you are of no use to the world

[/ QUOTE ]

not sure if this would work, wouldnt the pressure built up in the bottle prevent this

edit: if you have a pair of cutco kitchen shears -- maybe other kinds will work, havent seen it though ---- you can trim around the outer edge of the penny and it will form something very similar to a corkscrew

[Larimani]

smash the bottle inside a large bucket. Filter the liquid out using a coffee filter.

(*that may or may not be a stupid idea and it may or may not require hospitalisation during the breakage of the bottle or possibily during the drinkage of the wine)

[kevyk]

Try this (http://www.alcoholics-anonymous.org/) .