Saying no to socially awkward people

[dtbog]

This will be my only poll of the week. Flame away.

So someone ignores all of the hints that you're not interested in any sort of friendship, and continues to ask you to have lunch/hang out/drink/play p*ker/whatever.

You really have no desire to spend time with this person, but you have no ill will toward him/her... you just don't enjoy his/her company.

Typically, what is your response?

[dtbog]

I posted this because I don't think any of the options are very good.

Unfortunately, I usually make some half-hearted acceptance ("yeah, sure, I'll call you sometime"), and then don't. I don't particularly like this approach, but that's what I find myself doing.

It usually does work at giving people the hint, though.

[jakethebake]

SIIHP

[Piz0wn0reD!!!!!!]

i like how you censored poker.

[lucas9000]

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Unfortunately, I usually get some half-hearted acceptance ("yeah, sure, I'll call you sometime"), and then don't. I don't particularly like this approach, but that's what I find myself getting.

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[dtbog]

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SIIHP

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"Hey, Dave, do you want to grab lunch sometime?"

...

"what are you doing? HELP!"

...

"ok, ok, you don't want to have lunch! see ya later."

[dtbog]

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Unfortunately, I usually get some half-hearted acceptance ("yeah, sure, I'll call you sometime"), and then don't. I don't particularly like this approach, but that's what I find myself getting.

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LOL, ni han

[dtbog]

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i like how you censored poker.

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You know, I like to cover my tracks. I wouldn't want the person who invented poker to come onto 2+2's website and sue Mason Malmuth for copyright infringement on his forums.

[HopeydaFish]

I usually wait for the person to do something a little out of line that I can freak out about and end the "friendship". This way you don't really have to provide reasons why you don't want to be friends anymore. It's a lot easier to end a friendship due to a falling out of some sort. When the person tries to make peace with you, just ignore their phone calls and emails and eventually they think that you're too angry to want to make up and they give up and move on.

It might not be the most mature way to handle things, but it's pretty effective when someone insists on being your friend despite every effort to rebuff them on your part.

[jackdaniels]

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i like how you censored poker.

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You know, I like to cover my tracks. I wouldn't want the person who invented poker to come onto 2+2's website and sue Mason Malmuth for copyright infringement on his forums.

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L. O. L.

That's all.

[Shajen]

this all depends. Are you an [censored]?

If not, you could continue to string them along by making excuses for why you can't join them.

OR

You could actually accept an invitation, show up and hang out.

Option 2 sucks, and is why I'm an [censored]. I just tell it like it is man. You should too. Makes life a lot easier.

[tdarko]

i say "no, not interested." so i voted first option.

[dtbog]

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I just tell it like it is man. You should too. Makes life a lot easier.

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I usually do. In most situations, I completely agree with you.

The problem here is that there's sort of an assumed social contract that involves picking up social cues from other people. If I'm talking to someone who always acts uninterested and never approaches me for anything, I'll back away.

If everyone worked more or less that way, you wouldn't really need to be brutally honest and call people out.

... also, if I have a malicious dislike for someone for some reason (founded or otherwise), I'm much more inclined to flat-out tell them that I don't enjoy their company/don't want to spend time with them.

However... if this person has done nothing wrong except being a little annoying or sharing no common interests with me, I see no reason to unnecessarily make them feel harshly rejected. I always hold out hope that they'll pick up on my uninterest at some point, and figure it out on their own - without actually having to be called out and face the humiliating situation of saying "ok.. sorry I bothered you.. uhh.. err..bye"

[CallMeIshmael]

Im so bringing this up at some point next year.

[dtbog]

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Im so bringing this up at some point next year.

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yeah... uhh... speaking of that... err.. you're probably allergic to my car, so I think you're not going to be able to come to TS with us... I hope you understand

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[NotMitch]

If you can't say no to doing things with people you dont want to I think you are the one with is socially awkward.

[dtbog]

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If you can't say no to doing things with people you dont want to I think you are the one with is socially awkward.

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Clever, but not a particularly valid logic leap.

[dtbog]

Alright, someone's going to have to explain the "I just don't show up" vote.

[EliteNinja]

Invite them to play p*ker and take all his/her money.
Rinse.
Repeat.

[nothumb]

Other - hang out with them, play poker, take all their money and act like such a douche they never want to see you again.

NT

[slickpoppa]

urinate on them

[Homer]

People usually say yes to me, then never follow through and make plans. That's the best, in my opinion.