Embarrassing sexual incidents

[miajag81]

What's the most embarrassing thing that's ever happened to you during sex? Less than an hour ago I walked around for about 10 minutes post-sex with the condom wrapper stuck to my back. Not that bad, I know, but I'd be interested in hearing some other people's horror stories.

[kerssens]

more funny than embarrassing but hotel carpet can be kinda slick on bare feet and I slipped once and totally bit it face first.

I had sex with rollingdirty's mom and he caught us - very embarassing

[nothumb]

One time I was having such a hard time getting off that when the tension finally released I let out a little crap. Just a squirt, but it was bad.

Luckily that was in prison, so WGAF, you know?

NT

[rollingdirty]

[STLantny]

Several times ive been drunk, and dont exactly hit the bulls eye, ie I accidently siihp.

[ QUOTE ]
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I had sex with rollingdirty's mom and he caught us - very embarassing

[/ QUOTE ]

Ask 1/2 how his girlfriend left him for the bus boy at our local bar. He caught her and everything. THE BUS BOY.

[/ QUOTE ]

Oh really - What about the love of your life Rollingdirty? you know andi. remember that we found out she used to blow the 300 lb samoan bartender at our other local bar??

[rollingdirty]

[ QUOTE ]
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I had sex with rollingdirty's mom and he caught us - very embarassing

[/ QUOTE ]

Ask 1/2 how his girlfriend left him for the bus boy at our local bar. He caught her and everything. THE BUS BOY.

[/ QUOTE ]

Oh really - What about the love of your life Rollingdirty? you know andi. remember that we found out she used to blow the 300 lb samoan bartender at our other local bar??

[/ QUOTE ]


THE BUS BOY. there is nothing you can comeback with.

[/ QUOTE ]

Don't think i forgot about the fat girl with the tatoo of the state of texas on her back.

TATOO OF TEXAS ON HER BACK.

I reraise.

[rollingdirty]

[nothumb]

Just shut up, both of you.

NT

[Yeti]

[ QUOTE ]
Just shut up, both of you.


[/ QUOTE ]

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I had sex with rollingdirty's mom and he caught us - very embarassing

[/ QUOTE ]

Ask 1/2 how his girlfriend left him for the bus boy at our local bar. He caught her and everything. THE BUS BOY.

[/ QUOTE ]

Oh really - What about the love of your life Rollingdirty? you know andi. remember that we found out she used to blow the 300 lb samoan bartender at our other local bar??

[/ QUOTE ]


THE BUS BOY. there is nothing you can comeback with.

[/ QUOTE ]

Don't think i forgot about the fat girl with the tatoo of the state of texas on her back.

TATOO OF TEXAS ON HER BACK.

I reraise.

[/ QUOTE ]

What about the one arm girl you slept with at the same bar. OH YEA THE BUS BOY.

[/ QUOTE ]

you can't do that. you and your old roomate tag teamed that poor handicapped girl. you knew i was bringing that one to the forum so you say i did it. you can't pull the old switch on me.

You tagged teamed a ONE ARMED GIRL rolling. Tattoo of texas on her back.

[tdarko]

they seem like the same person.

[Femto]

I'm greatly enjoying the exchange between you two /images/graemlins/blush.gif)

Anyways, nothing major I guess, but we didnt think anybody was home and my GF's mom walked in on her giving me a HJ on the family couch. Whoops...

we are roomates idiot. how do you think we know all the ugly girls we have [censored].

stupid

[kyro]

[ QUOTE ]
we are roomates idiot. how do you think we know all the ugly girls we have [censored].

stupid

[/ QUOTE ]

you know what's awesome. talking to each other via a poker message board instead of talking in person. Because everyone here gives a rat's ass about your incredibly unfunny stories.

please stop posting. thanks!

[rollingdirty]

[Matty]

[ QUOTE ]
more funny than embarrassing but hotel carpet can be kinda slick on bare knees and I slipped once and totally bit it face first.

[/ QUOTE ]my first FYP

[kyro]

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more funny than embarrassing but hotel carpet can be kinda slick on bare knees and I slipped once and totally bit it face first.

[/ QUOTE ]my first FYP

[/ QUOTE ]

decent.

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we are roomates idiot. how do you think we know all the ugly girls we have [censored].

stupid

[/ QUOTE ]

you know what's awesome. talking to each other via a poker message board instead of talking in person. Because everyone here gives a rat's ass about your incredibly unfunny stories.

please stop posting. thanks!

[/ QUOTE ]

dont really care - posting for frinds to read - entertaining for us.

stupid

[kerssens]

go ahead and make it your last too /images/graemlins/wink.gif

[ QUOTE ]
Dont make me bring up Gracie. OH yea THE BUS BOY, your GF cheated with the bus boy nothing trumps that.

[/ QUOTE ]

Gracie gave us free shots so i was taking one for the team.

The stars at night are big and bright - deep in the heart of TEXAS! lol.

it's funny, keep on keepin on.

[Beerfund]

During my senior trip in Mexico, i was having sex with a really drunk girl in the shower when we both slipped and she whacked her chin on the soap dish and busted it open. At this point she was totaly out of it and kinda just stumbling around.

So I throw on a towel and go out into the room where her friend was passed out on the bed. I wake her up and tell to go help her friend while I went to get the hotel doctor.

Of course the doctor wasn't there at 4 in the morning so they send 2 security guards with a first aid kit up to the room. When we got there, both girls were gone and there was blood EVERYWHERE!

I only knew the girls first name and had no idea where she was staying (wasnt at the same hotel as me). So they held me in a little holding cell with drunk mexicans until my friend finally found her the next day at about noon.

She didn't remember much so they were reluctant to release me, I guess they thought I might have doen it on purpose. They did finally let me go that night and I continued drinking myself retarded like nothing happened.

[miajag81]

[ QUOTE ]
it's funny, keep on keepin on.

[/ QUOTE ]

um, no, it's really not. please start your own thread for this dumbness.

[handsome]

3. Losing my hard-on during sex
2. Girl telling me I had "too much" pubic hair
1. Same girl telling me my dick is small

Kicked her ass out of my house after I nutted and never saw her again.

[tdarko]

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we are roomates idiot. how do you think we know all the ugly girls we have [censored].



[/ QUOTE ]
oh my bad i didn't realize that you two were big enough losers to actually [censored] these girls. sorry for thinking dead was back hijacking a thread. /images/graemlins/smirk.gif

[miajag81]

[ QUOTE ]
3. Losing my hard-on during sex
2. Girl telling me I had "too much" pubic hair
1. Same girl telling me my dick is small

Kicked her ass out of my house after I nutted and never saw her again.

[/ QUOTE ]

A real man would have punched her in the stomach immediately and left.

[nothumb]

[ QUOTE ]
3. Losing my hard-on during sex
2. Girl telling me I had "too much" pubic hair
1. Same girl telling me my dick is small

Kicked her ass out of my house after I nutted and never saw her again.

[/ QUOTE ]

I've had one of these happen, I used to drink a LOT.

NT

[gumpzilla]

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I've had one of these happen, I used to drink a LOT.

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You mean your pubic hair grows out a ton after you've been drinking too? Man I'm glad I'm not the only one. What a relief.

[bwana devil]

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we are roomates idiot

[/ QUOTE ]

and you need to post on a forum to communicate, why?

[STLantny]

Setup: mid feburary, of last year during a bad ice storm. About an inch of Ice covered everything.

My friend has a hot tub, and a cover on this hot tub that folds over. He is banging this chick as she sits on the cover. They were really hammered. The cover starts to slip, and eventually she flies backwards and face plants from about 6 feet up onto the concrete. He couldnt stop laughing as she's bleeding everywhere, needless to say it was a icy, bloddy, naked mess. She went to the hospital the next day of course.

[RRRRICK]

I was at a bar one night a very tall fairly attractive girl who was a friend of someone I knew came up and started chatting to me. She was a touch drunk and I wasn't paying too much attention to the conversation, that was until she out of blue proclaimed

"How would you feel about [censored] me"

Fair to say she got my attention.

Quite a few straight vodkas latter we stumbled to my place, we started going for it and I got her naked on my bed. She was lying on her stomach whilst I was doing things to her at which point she passed out.

Damm I didn't think she was that drunk.
I put my shirt back on and woke her up. At this point i was fairly sober so i offered to take her home, she got dressed and sat on my couch whilst i got my [censored] together.

I then look over and see her hand over mouth starting to dry reach, I quickly guided her to the toilet and she starts spewing. relieved that I caught this just in time I stood by her hand on her back, "there, there get it all out"

At this point I felt a warm sensation around my feet, I look down and see the ever growing puddle of urine and I'm standing barefoot in it.

It's 3am and I've got to get rid of this chick before she takes a dump on my coffee table of something.

So I put her in my car, I know, the butt section of her dress is piss soaked and she's sitting on my seat.

After repeated stops I finally get her home and return to mine.

It's now about 3.30am and I'm mopping piss from the floor, cleaning a pee stain from ny passenger seat upholstery and dealing with a chunky spew infested toilet.

The things we do for sex, but of course she passed out so I didn't even get that.

[nothumb]

This is funny. I think she owes you a BJ for the trouble.

However, you're a noob for letting her get significantly wasted AFTER she asked if you wanted to do it. She was already drunk enough, and you ruined it. Nice.

NT

[Matty]

When I was 22 I was fingering this much older woman (mid-thirties I think) while her daughters slept in the room next to us. Anyway she starts pissing on my hand. It was pretty traumatic. luckily she lived in another state so I never have to see her again.

Also my first time having sex I was 15- she was 16, and she insisted on putting the condom on me herself. Only thing is she unrolled it before putting it on me, so it was all half hanging off, and pretty painful just getting it that far. We only had a few minutes before her mom got back though so we didn't have time to try again. She just laid there the whole time too, and teased me for being a virgin.

[Beerfund]

I must comend you for showing restraint multiple times.
First, for not doing anyway while she was passed out. (I would have, she already gave consent!)
And of course when she pissed on you, you didn't kick her in the back of the head, nice job.

[TheWorstPlayer]

[ QUOTE ]
The things we do for sex, but of course she passed out so that wasn't even that good.

[/ QUOTE ]

[MagicMan08]

I find women are their horniest before they either spew or pass out. Ha ha ha

[STLantny]

[ QUOTE ]
I find women are their horniest while they either spew or pass out. Ha ha ha

[/ QUOTE ]

FYP.

[gorie]

well this isn't that embarrassing, but kind of funny

i was going to devirginize this guy once , and i told him to lay on his back


he layed on his stomach.

[TheWorstPlayer]

I hope you went ahead and popped his cherry. SIIHP?

[miajag81]

You should have just started humping his butt.

[nothumb]

[ QUOTE ]
well this isn't that embarrassing, but kind of funny

i was going to devirginize this guy once , and i told him to lay on his back


he layed on his stomach.

[/ QUOTE ]

Maybe he wanted one of those fake Thai Japanese bath massages.

NT

[miajag81]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
well this isn't that embarrassing, but kind of funny

i was going to devirginize this guy once , and i told him to lay on his back


he layed on his stomach.

[/ QUOTE ]

Maybe he wanted one of those fake Thai Japanese bath massages.

NT

[/ QUOTE ]

haha, thats exactly what i was picturing

[gorie]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
well this isn't that embarrassing, but kind of funny

i was going to devirginize this guy once , and i told him to lay on his back


he layed on his stomach.

[/ QUOTE ]

Maybe he wanted one of those fake Thai Japanese bath massages.

NT

[/ QUOTE ]

i think he was just nervous and dumb :/

[Beerfund]

[ QUOTE ]
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well this isn't that embarrassing, but kind of funny

i was going to devirginize this guy once , and i told him to lay on his back


he layed on his stomach.

[/ QUOTE ]

Maybe he wanted one of those fake Thai Japanese bath massages.

NT

[/ QUOTE ]

i think he was just nervous and dumb :/

[/ QUOTE ]

Or maaaaaaybe, he already came?? He was a virgin after all.

[gorie]

[ QUOTE ]
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[ QUOTE ]
well this isn't that embarrassing, but kind of funny

i was going to devirginize this guy once , and i told him to lay on his back


he layed on his stomach.

[/ QUOTE ]

Maybe he wanted one of those fake Thai Japanese bath massages.

NT

[/ QUOTE ]

i think he was just nervous and dumb :/

[/ QUOTE ]

Or maaaaaaybe, he already came?? He was a virgin after all.

[/ QUOTE ]

no. he just was confused. which is what made it funny, because he reacted so eagerly, only to look like a weirdo , with me wondering why he would have assumed i was asking him to lay in that position.

it's not really a good story.

[TheBlueMonster]

I accidentally elbowed my girlfriend in the nose. Blood ain't that sexy.
[ QUOTE ]
I accidentally elbowed my girlfriend in the nose

[/ QUOTE ]
and it was an accident, Ike Turner

[tdarko]

when i was 15 i was getting the worst blowjob ever on a waterbed. the covers were thrown everywhere so the only thing in between my ass and the waterbed was the last thin sheet of covers. so it was really hot, and i was really concentrating b/c she was not getting the job done. an hour later i got up and there was a huge sweat stain from my ass on the sheet.

at the time i was kind of embarrassed but the more i thought about it i figured she was the one that should be embarrassed for the lousy bj skills.

i have a few others but that was the first one i have ever encountered.

[zuluking]

I've got several:

Banging a girl in the park one night, we're really going at it and when its over, I look up and see some old guy, who had been out walking his dog, watching us. He just smiled and nodded and walked away without saying a word.
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I'm on top of this girl getting my rocks off and I look down to see her staring a the t.v. on the other side of the room. I'm like, "WTF are you doing?". She says, "Its okay, you can keep going, I just don't want to miss this episode of Deperate Housewives." So, wtf, I kept going.
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Then there's the chick who's kid was sleeping in the next room and she's telling me to be very quiet. So I'm "quietly" banging away when all of a sudden she starts screaming, "I'M COMING! YEAAAAWWWW!", and all the usual other sounds a screamer makes. Suddenly, knock-knock, at the door.
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Pick up a drunk chick one night and take her home. She goes to use the bathroom and I hear the tell tale wretching sound. I open the door, and realize she's a projectile vomiter. Its all over the walls and stinks like cheap booze and stomach acid. I retch too, all over her, as my gag reflex is on a short fuze. She passes out, and I'm cleaning the crap up for the next hour.

[Beerfund]

[ QUOTE ]
when i was 15 i was getting the worst blowjob ever on a waterbed. the covers were thrown everywhere so the only thing in between my ass and the waterbed was the last thin sheet of covers. so it was really hot, and i was really concentrating b/c she was not getting the job done. an hour later i got up and there was a huge sweat stain from my ass on the sheet.

at the time i was kind of embarrassed but the more i thought about it i figured she was the one that should be embarrassed for the lousy bj skills.

i have a few others but that was the first one i have ever encountered.

[/ QUOTE ]

When I was in HS, a younger girl was giving me a BJ and by BJ I mean trying to scrape the skin off my dick. Anyway, I eventually told her to stop and she got all embarassed and ran out of the room.

Apparently she went and told her brother, because he showed up and wanted to fight me. Weirdest confrontation I was ever apart of.

[MagicMan08]

[ QUOTE ]
Apparently she went and told her brother, because he showed up and wanted to fight me. Weirdest confrontation I was ever apart of.

[/ QUOTE ]

That would suck.

[this guy]

Me and my girlfriend (both 17 at the time) decided to leave school early and go back to her place since both of her parents worked full time. We're in the guest room going at it when her mom and my older brother walk in with a box of condoms.

[MagicMan08]

Dayum, good i guess, but bad also

[squeek12]

[ QUOTE ]
I'm on top of this girl getting my rocks off and I look down to see her staring a the t.v. on the other side of the room. I'm like, "WTF are you doing?". She says, "Its okay, you can keep going, I just don't want to miss this episode of Deperate Housewives." So, wtf, I kept going.

[/ QUOTE ]

Are you sleeping with my wife?

[pokerdirty]

it's always fun when you are hooking up with this girl on the night before her birthday, and then the ex-boyfriend flies in the next morning from 3k miles away (CA to NY) to try and get the girl back.

It's even more fun when your ex-roommate lets the guy into my building.

It's even more fun when the ex and the girl start fighting in the middle of your living room while you are taking a shower because you have to be at work in an hour.

It's even more fun when the girl's mother gets my cellphone number (HOW I DO NOT KNOW) and tells me that i can not leave her daughter alone with this psycho ex.

It's even more fun when you have to take a cab back to her apartment with the girl and the ex, and you are riding bitch seat.


It was worth it though, she does this thing with her tongue....

[tdarko]

[ QUOTE ]
It's even more fun when you have to take a cab back to her apartment with the girl and the ex, and you are riding bitch seat.



[/ QUOTE ]
haha i got a great visual from this.

[smurph]

Once, back in my virgin days (not too long ago /images/graemlins/laugh.gif but ago nonetheless), I had a real hot high school cheerleader in my bed and also a big cast on my right arm from a broken hand. After 10 minutes of taking off her belt and pants with just my left hand, and some other stuff, I was ready to put it in.

This proved much harder than I had previously thought. I kept trying to aim it in there with my left hand while balancing on my cast. No luck. I had just met the girl a few hours ago, so this was real awkward. This girl seemed like a pro since she had that patch on, and she did not know I had never had sex. I was getting embarassed so my penis started to wither.

I had the brilliant idea to ask her to give me head to get it back up. 30 seconds later, I came. And she says, "Are you kidding." Man was my face red. /images/graemlins/shocked.gif

[siccjay]

LMAO thats funny.

[pokerdirty]

[ QUOTE ]
LMAO thats funny.

[/ QUOTE ]

It wasn't if you were there. I was freaking out. This guy is huge, and he was the biggest puss ever. When she told him to get back on a plane, he started crying in my living room. for 2 hrs. it was 1pm before we finally got out of my apt. i was supposed to be at work at 10:30am.

looking back, definately funny now. everytime i talk to this girl (about 2x a week) this comes up. /images/graemlins/grin.gif

[squeek12]

Must have been one hell of a head job. Did you go a second round, or did she just leave you to wallow in eternal shame.

[smurph]

[ QUOTE ]
Must have been one hell of a head job. Did you go a second round, or did she just leave you to wallow in eternal shame.

[/ QUOTE ]

Ha. I then told her that I had never had sex before, and she was shocked. She said she wanted to steal my virginity but this was at like 11:30 am and her friend, who had hooked up with one of my friends the night before, called at 11 telling her to hurry up. So she had to go.

[MagicMan08]

Ah high school the good ol days. And my time at the U of M, i wish i never would have left that rockin sweet place.

[Klepton]

in college i was having sex on a loft type bed (very close to the ceiling)

anytime one of us was on top we bumped our heads really hard.

it was really funny though cuz we laughed everytime...also a good use of keeping me from cumming too soon.
========
i've also been walked in on by my roomate like 2 or three times.

i've told this one before, but i was getting head and my roomate opened the door, high as [censored], insisting he need his jacket. the girl barely skipped a beat between thrwoing him a jacket and going back to work...i was amazed.

[krazyace5]

[ QUOTE ]
Me and my girlfriend (both 17 at the time) decided to leave school early and go back to her place since both of her parents worked full time. We're in the guest room going at it when her mom and my older brother walk in with a box of condoms.

[/ QUOTE ]

So was your older brother and your girlfriends mom kicking it or what?

[Matty]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Me and my girlfriend (both 17 at the time) decided to leave school early and go back to her place since both of her parents worked full time. We're in the guest room going at it when her mom and my older brother walk in with a box of condoms.

[/ QUOTE ]So was your older brother and your girlfriends mom kicking it or what?

[/ QUOTE ]Can you think of another explanation? I doubt they were collaborating on Christmas gifts.

[TheMainEvent]

[ QUOTE ]
Me and my girlfriend (both 17 at the time) decided to leave school early and go back to her place since both of her parents worked full time. We're in the guest room going at it when her mom and my older brother walk in with a box of condoms.

[/ QUOTE ]

That must have been a great anecdote for family dinner conversation

[Sponger15SB]

Alright I can't think of any of mine, so I'll tell a story from a while back of a friend of mine...

He is at a party and him and his girlfriend are hooking up. They are both very drunk, and she is giving him head in some guys parents bedroom, and she has braces on. She has been giving him head for a while and finally she says "Riley haven't you came yet?" he says "Uh, I don't think so... let me check" So he goes starts looking at his dick when he feels something weird, so he turns on the lights and sees blood everywhere. Apparently he had cut his dick with his braces, and they were so drunk and there was so much blood moving thorough his dick that nobody noticed. There is blood all over his dick, balls, pubes, etc. There is some blood on the bed and all over his girlfriend and her mouth and stuff, including a bloody hand print on my friends chest.

Yeah....good stuff.

[[censored]]

[ QUOTE ]
Alright I can't think of any of mine, so I'll tell a story from a while back of a friend of mine...

He is at a party and him and his girlfriend are hooking up. They are both very drunk, and she is giving him head in some guys parents bedroom, and she has braces on. She has been giving him head for a while and finally she says "Riley haven't you came yet?" he says "Uh, I don't think so... let me check" So he goes starts looking at his dick when he feels something weird, so he turns on the lights and sees blood everywhere. Apparently he had cut his dick with his braces, and they were so drunk and there was so much blood moving thorough his dick that nobody noticed. There is blood all over his dick, balls, pubes, etc. There is some blood on the bed and all over his girlfriend and her mouth and stuff, including a bloody hand print on my friends chest.

Yeah....good stuff.

[/ QUOTE ]

Ya that's it for me, time to call it a day in the OOT.

[DavidC]

[ QUOTE ]
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I had sex with rollingdirty's mom and he caught us - very embarassing

[/ QUOTE ]

Ask 1/2 how his girlfriend left him for the bus boy at our local bar. He caught her and everything. THE BUS BOY.

[/ QUOTE ]

Oh really - What about the love of your life Rollingdirty? you know andi. remember that we found out she used to blow the 300 lb samoan bartender at our other local bar??

[/ QUOTE ]


THE BUS BOY. there is nothing you can comeback with.

[/ QUOTE ]

Don't think i forgot about the fat girl with the tatoo of the state of texas on her back.

TATOO OF TEXAS ON HER BACK.

I reraise.

[/ QUOTE ]

I want to interject for a moment here:

1) Why is the insulted guy being banned and not the guy who started it?

2) Does anyone but me share the theory that this is one guy with two accounts?

3) The guy that started this appears to be a a douche... (unless it's two gimmick accounts)

That is all.

Edit: Or, they could be roommates, in which case neither of them are complete douches...

[Chairman Wood]

The first one that comes to mind...

First of all, let me preface, back in HS a friend of mine and I used to like to make dinner from time to time and we always added a lot of hot sauce to damn near everything. So we make chili one night, add hot sauce everywhere and I invite my girlfriend over to share it with us. After dinner, we clean up, and my friend leaves so it is just my girlfriend and I. Of course we start to fool around in my living room. I start fingering her and everything is going well for a minute and then I observe this pained look on her face. I asked her, "Is everything alright?" She says, "Yeah just keep going." So I continue and and her face just cringes more with every passing moment. Then all of a sudden she screams "STOP, STOP, IT BURNS, IT BURNS!!!!" She ran into the bathroom and was crying for the next half an hour. Even though I scrubbed really hard I guess I didn't remove all the remnants of hot sauce off my hands when I washed my hands after dinner.

[whiskeytown]

not entirely about sex and not me that got embarassed, but still good-

I was making out one night with the good Christian girlfriend (who didn't believe in sex before marriage) and we're sorta getting tangled up and wrapping our legs around each other...

and we get up and I'm like, "whoa" - wet spot on my pants, but it's mid thigh halfway down the leg - not where my crotch is, but where HER'S was -

she turned really red and giggled and ran to the bathroom - let me tell you - for a girl who wasn't gonna have sex till marriage, I was pretty damn proud I got her juices going that well - LOL

RB

[whiskeytown]

I turned down a chance to take a drunk girl home based entirely on stories like this - I still don't regret it -

it's bad enough I have to clean up MY PISS and VOMIT - I don't wanna do it for no one else -

RB

[mgsimpleton]

(i'm a girl so this makes way more sense if you know that first)
So I go to play in a rugby game at my friend from HS's college. I didn't think she would be there but she turned out to be there at the last minute so I wound up staying over with her. I hadn't planned on spending the night so I didn't have any clothes with me.

Anyway, after the game my friend isn't there for quite some time so I wind up chilling with a friend of hers who also plays rugby and who had smoked us up after the game and whatever. She was really nice and lent me her clothes to wear since all I had was my sweaty rugby stuff.

Later that night I go hang out with my friend and wind up hooking up with this chick who lives across the hall. We're pretty drunk and this is some of the roughest sex I have ever encountered... It's great though and we go at it for like 3 hours or something. It isn't until the next morning that I realize there is blood everywhere, including all over the clothes of the friend of my friend.

I beg my friend to wash the clothes thoroughly before returning them, and she gives them to the chick i hooked up with to make sure they get washed. but yeah next time i saw the girl i hooked up with and whose clothes they were it was just kind of not mentioned, but embarrassing nonetheless.

[Chairman Wood]

Lesbian rugger stories. If I had a dollar...

[TheMainEvent]

http://img78.imageshack.us/img78/4121/ned6zf.jpg

[rocketlaunch]

To continue with an established theme...

Back in high school, I'm a little drunk and hooking up with this girl in the back seat of my car at night. I eventually go down on her. It's not seeming too fresh down there so I stop pretty quickly, get my BJ and head home.

I get home about 2-3am and my dad is up ready to give me a hard time for being so late. I walk in and he's already in midsentence, "What are you doing out so l...," then he pauses.

"What's that blood all over your face?"

It takes me about a quarter second for all the pieces to fall into place and think "dumb [censored] bitch," before responding--pretty quick thinking on my part, I might add--"Oh, I got a bloody nose on my way home, I need to go clean up."

Yes, I'd rather have my hardcore anti-sex parents think I pick my nose than went down on a girl while she was on her period. And the best part is, my dad was so tired he just turned around and went right back upstairs to bed, so I didn't face any more questioning at all.

What we do in life echoes in eternity.

[Chairman Wood]

I give this gimmick account a thumbs down.

[Slow Play Ray]

this guy wins (http://www.tuckermax.com/tuckertriesbuttsex.html)

[ QUOTE ]
I give this gimmick account a thumbs down.

[/ QUOTE ]
The time for honoring yourself will soon be at an end.

[hyde]

[ QUOTE ]
this guy wins (http://www.tuckermax.com/tuckertriesbuttsex.html)

[/ QUOTE ]

YES HE DOES

[superleeds]

So after a night of heavy drinking I ring up this girl for a booty call and she says 'fine come over'. As soon as I walk in the door she drops to her knees, undoes my pants and starts to give me a bj. A few seconds later I think I'm cuming but am, in fact, pissing. She spits out my dick and looks up at me and says, 'er, I'm not really into that'. 'Oh sorry', says I, 'can I use your toilet, I really need to go'. 'OK', she says, 'hurry back'.

Oh to be young again.