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TStoneMBD
08-03-2005, 02:53 AM
So it looks like I'm going away for a week up in Nantucket. Normally when I talk to girls I'm very honest about myself. I thought this would be the best opportunity to give lying a shot since I'll never see them again anyway.

I'm not very good with lying so this is where you guys come in. What are some stories I should tell about myself?

Go wild
Riskwise
08-03-2005, 02:55 AM
[ QUOTE ]
So it looks like I'm going away for a week up in Nantucket. Normally when I talk to girls I'm very honest about myself. I thought this would be the best opportunity to give lying a shot since I'll never see them again anyway.

I'm not very good with lying so this is where you guys come in. What are some stories I should tell about myself?

Go wild

[/ QUOTE ]

lying about penis size is kinda counterproductive... /images/graemlins/frown.gif
oneeye13
08-03-2005, 02:57 AM
minor league baseball player or pro teabagger
Willluck
08-03-2005, 02:58 AM
You are a sex researcher, who is in town to speak at the local University. Make up some kind of discovery that you wrote a book about and how you can show it to them.
edit: the discovery that is (not the book).
scotty34
08-03-2005, 02:59 AM
say you play on the PGA tour
Macdaddy Warsaw
08-03-2005, 03:00 AM
Tell them about the time you were driving with this guy you had just met that night to a diner and he did a line of coke off your dashboad and chanted "DRIVE FAST, TAKE CHANCES" the whole way.

You don't do coke, by the way.
rusellmj
08-03-2005, 03:11 AM
1. You are a screenwriter. You currently have a project being thrown around at Dreamworks.

2. Get a ring, talk about how you're glad to be on vaca from all the stress. How your wife doesn't understand you and you're ready to cut loose.
daryn
08-03-2005, 03:14 AM
tell them you're a professional poker player..
SmileyEH
08-03-2005, 03:15 AM
tell them you are thebruiser.

-SmileyEH
MrFeelNothin
08-03-2005, 03:18 AM
[ QUOTE ]

2. Get a ring, talk about how you're glad to be on vaca from all the stress. How your wife doesn't understand you and you're ready to cut loose.

[/ QUOTE ]

This worked well for George.
krazyace5
08-03-2005, 03:41 AM
Get a Girls Gone Wild T shirt or something similar, a video camera, and maybe some cheap business cards(vistaprint.com has them)

and voila, you are a talent scout.


Heres a more plausible "new & rich man" tip, Tom Leykis says if you have a really rich friend, have them give you a few of their atm inquiry slips with their account balance on them, use this to write your phone number on for the chick and they will be putty in your hands.
Blarg
08-03-2005, 08:05 AM
LOL gotta love Tom.

Tell them you're a plastic surgeon. They'll let you get your hands all over their face, and will hope for a freebie, and from there it's just a matter of time. All your compliments will count for double because you're a professional plastic surgeon who knows these things for sure. And if they're bitches, tell them it's a water soluble one, but really use a permanent marker to draw possible surgery lines on their faces, then say you've got to hit the restroom, and split.
Patrick del Poker Grande
08-03-2005, 10:04 AM
You're an architect. You did the new addition to the Guggenheim (sp?). If that doesn't work, marine biologist is pretty clutch. If all else fails, tell them you're Ben Roethlisberger or his backup. I'd go with the third-string guy if I were you.
jakethebake
08-03-2005, 10:07 AM
[ QUOTE ]
tell them you're a professional poker player..

[/ QUOTE ]

this is actually probably pretty good these days. but it has to go something like, "you've probably seen me on ESPN or the Travel Channel..."
sfer
08-03-2005, 10:12 AM
Lying typically works best when it's just enough to be playful and somewhat obviously a joke. For example, saying you're consolidating a hot-dog stand empire along the Jersey shore.
mslif
08-03-2005, 10:22 AM
[ QUOTE ]
Lying typically works best when it's just enough to be playful and somewhat obviously a joke. For example, saying you're consolidating a hot-dog stand empire along the Jersey shore.

[/ QUOTE ]

That's the best answer so far....
MelchyBeau
08-03-2005, 10:31 AM
tell them you are a rocket scientist

Learn a bunch of greek letters and write them down to look like mathematical formulas.

Melch
ChipWrecked
08-03-2005, 10:35 AM
"I'm straight."
1800GAMBLER
08-03-2005, 10:45 AM
Formula 3 race car driver.
Trainee astronaut.
Just got back from Iraq.
Entertainment manager back home, name drop cool bands.
DangerGoodson
08-03-2005, 10:52 AM
Say you're a member of the "Rocks and Rings"

I guess it works for this guy (http://www.magicantonio.com/rocks-n-rings.php) .
SL__72
08-03-2005, 11:07 AM
No matter which you choose, make sure to mention that you lost a lot of good men out there...
CollinEstes
08-03-2005, 11:16 AM
I like to tell them I am one of three brew-masters at X local brewery. I live in Houston so I say Saint Arnold but you have to make sure it is a pretty big craft brewery, and that you are in town to meet at the annual new england craft beer convention with other succesfull brewmasters from around the world.
Laomedon
08-03-2005, 11:16 AM
There's no need to invent an entire persona. I've always gone with a more subtle approach. Come up with ancedotes based on the type of female you're trying to bag. If she's clearly a liberal hippie type, discuss your recent trip to Bolivia to protest the exploitation of impoverished natural gas miners. If she's the WASPy type, discuss your buddies success at a polo match in Newport. I feel like if you can work off-the-cuff and tailor your stories to what you feel the particular female will be receptive to, you'll have much more success. Adopting a specific persona is difficult to pull off without significant planning. BS'ing is easier and often more successful when you do it in a more specialized manner.
asofel
08-03-2005, 11:20 AM
I'm jealous...

and the hotdog stand empire line was excellent. Something that's funny, witty, and a little flirty...you'll do fine...
RacersEdge
08-03-2005, 11:46 AM
Let a picture of your supermodel gf accidenatally fall out of your wallet. You'll be at a secret club in no time.
Dale
08-03-2005, 11:48 AM
Rent a UHaul, bring along a video camera, tell the women you are with asshaul.com, and ask them if they want to be in a movie.
Edge34
08-03-2005, 11:56 AM
Tell them about the time you climbed Everest, and how many good men you lost.

Or bullfighting. Bullfighting is good too.
asofel
08-03-2005, 12:07 PM
[ QUOTE ]
Tell them about the time you climbed Everest, and how many good men you lost.

Or bullfighting. Bullfighting is good too.

[/ QUOTE ]

or playing for the yankees...and how many good men you lost....to, um....trades....
M2d
08-03-2005, 12:07 PM
1) tell them you're confused. that you think you like women, but you're not sure about your sexuality. maybe they'll try to convince you.

2) buy a blue mask and a blue shiny shirt...
Edge34
08-03-2005, 12:10 PM
[ QUOTE ]

2) buy a blue mask and a blue shiny shirt...

[/ QUOTE ]

WINNER.
offTopic
08-03-2005, 12:14 PM
Step 1) PM Gamblor

Step 2) Commence to bangin' bitches
Patrick del Poker Grande
08-03-2005, 12:30 PM
Tell them you're the Ether Bunny.
08-03-2005, 12:53 PM
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Tell them about the time you climbed Everest, and how many good men you lost.

Or bullfighting. Bullfighting is good too.

[/ QUOTE ]

or playing for the yankees...and how many good men you lost....to, um....trades....

[/ QUOTE ]

Wow my wedding crashers gimmick account would work well here, too bad THEY WONT UN BAN IT