Another ex-gf question

[The Stranger]

Okay, so here's the situation with this girl. I lived with her for a year and a half. We broke up about three years ago because I was a drunk and she liked to cheat. Things did not end well, to say the least. But we still IM each other every six month or so. Since I last saw her, I quit drinking and using drugs.

In our IM last night, she said that she's going to be in town next weekend, and needs a place to stay. She lives about six hours away now.

I don't know what her intentions are, but I really don't think I ought to be trying to hook up with her. I haven't done any naked-type hooking up with anyone else since last time I saw her, though.

If you've read some of my recent posts, there is another girl I'm interested in, and things progressed a little bit, but now we're "just friends."

I've been kicking around the idea of using the new girl as a "bodyguard" from the old one. But that could go very badly, and could be a very sleazy and manipulative move.

What should I do?

[Dragonlord]

SIIHP.

[The Stranger]

[ QUOTE ]
SIIHP.

[/ QUOTE ]

which one?

[siccjay]

Let your old girl stay. Hit it. Maybe the "just friends" girl will realize that she doesn't like seeing you with another chick.

*Disclaimer* This is a longshot, but possible.

[The Stranger]

[ QUOTE ]
Let your old girl stay. Hit it. Maybe the "just friends" girl will realize that she doesn't like seeing you with another chick.

*Disclaimer* This is a longshot, but possible.

[/ QUOTE ]

how does "Just a Friend" find out without me making it obvious that I'm trying to make her jealous?

Tell your ex to f--- off. She's old news and you shouldn't waste your time on such a caustic b----. Then, go meet your new GF and SIIHP. /images/graemlins/wink.gif

[The Stranger]

[ QUOTE ]
go meet your new GF and SIIHP. /images/graemlins/wink.gif

[/ QUOTE ]

To clarify, she's not my new girlfriend. Last thread synopsis:

Her, "Yeah, I like you a lot, and wanted to kiss you the first time we hung out. Now after you kissed me two weeks later, and we've made out about five or six times in the last two weeks, I feel things are moving too fast, and I need some time to myself. By the way, now that we're friends, I can tell you this. I love you."

There might be something there, but it's not SIIHP time.

[ QUOTE ]
I love you."


[/ QUOTE ]

Wow. This is actually a case for the Bison:

http://www.f2f2s.com/images/bisonsignal.jpg

[Brain]

[ QUOTE ]
There might be something there, but it's not SIIHP time.

[/ QUOTE ]

Au contraire, it is always SIIHP time.

[The Stranger]

[ QUOTE ]

http://www.f2f2s.com/images/bisonsignal.jpg

[/ QUOTE ]

that pic is awesome

[Michael Davis]

"By the way, now that we're friends, I can tell you this. I love you."

I missed this thread, but this chick is a crackpot. You should cut off all contact immediately. You should do this because she's insane, but of course this is also your best shot (which isn't the reason you should do it).

-Michael

[siccjay]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Let your old girl stay. Hit it. Maybe the "just friends" girl will realize that she doesn't like seeing you with another chick.

*Disclaimer* This is a longshot, but possible.

[/ QUOTE ]

how does "Just a Friend" find out without me making it obvious that I'm trying to make her jealous?

[/ QUOTE ]

Eh, if you are worried about that then simply don't do anything out of the ordinary. If she finds out, cool. If not, you got some ass.

[The Stranger]

[ QUOTE ]
"By the way, now that we're friends, I can tell you this. I love you."

I missed this thread, but this chick is a crackpot. You should cut off all contact immediately. You should do this because she's insane, but of course this is also your best shot (which isn't the reason you should do it).

-Michael

[/ QUOTE ]


Personally, I think she is taking bad advice from a retard.

here (http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/showthreaded.php?Cat=&Number=3002951&page=&view=&s b=5&o=&vc=1)

[buck_thunder]

Post deleted by Jeremy7321

[The Stranger]

[ QUOTE ]
STUPID - If you are so completely retarded that you have to ask for women advice from OOT posters

[/ QUOTE ]

believe me, I take it all with a grain of salt, and make my own decisions.

thank you for your concern.

[tessarji]

You're at the make or break point, sir. First off, ditch the ex. That's lame.

This new girl is neurotic, and has no clue what she wants. That isn't awful, because who isn't a little neurotic? But it means the odds on a good relationship with her have diminished.

If you want to be with this girl, tell her right now that's what you want. You don't want to be friends. You want her. It may be scary and new for her, but life is full of exciting things - they're all that is worthwhile.

If you don't want to be with this girl, then fine, agree to be friends. She'll be gone in two months tops.

[The Stranger]

[ QUOTE ]
She'll be gone in two months tops.

[/ QUOTE ]

gone how?

[tessarji]

She will leave you.

Girls who say they want to be friends do not mean it literally. It is their yellow light symbol. Sometimes they use it to probe you to see if you really are interested.

You have three options when you get put off in this fashion.

1. No compromise. Tell them you want to be a couple or nothing. High risk strategy, but if it fails, it usually was not going to work out anyways. You'd just take a few months figuring this out.

2. Tell her you like being her friend and that she's a super person. You will usually get a couple months of actually being her friend and enjoying yourselves. Great if that's something you're into. You will never get to bone her. Ever. After a little while she'll find a guy who does want to bone her, and that will be that.

3. Simply drop her altogether. As another poster mentioned, this actually is a great way to get her interested. Rather manipulative. I don't like games, so I wouldn't use this tactic, but some would.

[The Stranger]

[ QUOTE ]
She will leave you.

[/ QUOTE ]

that's what I thought, until the "I love you" part.

[HopeydaFish]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Let your old girl stay. Hit it. Maybe the "just friends" girl will realize that she doesn't like seeing you with another chick.

*Disclaimer* This is a longshot, but possible.

[/ QUOTE ]

how does "Just a Friend" find out without me making it obvious that I'm trying to make her jealous?

[/ QUOTE ]

Meh, when she asks you if anything is new, mention the other girl. Don't make a big deal out of it, though...let her ask the questions if she wants to know more about the situation.

It's not like you're fabricating the existence of this new girl...as long as you don't embellish details when you talk to the "just be friends" girl, you shouldn't worry about it looking like you're just trying to make her jealous.

[tessarji]

BTW, the troll in this thread can safely be added to your banlist, but he did make a true point.

Success in this situation does not go to the meek. If you do nothing, the opportunity will pass and you will not get the girl. You should decide on what you want to do and then _do_ it post-haste. Even a week from now is too late.

My advice: Tell the ex you're through. Tell the other girl your ex asked to stay, but you refused because you want to be with her. No more waiting, you want to go for it. Best of luck.

[KaneKungFu123]

youre a real stud.

[ QUOTE ]
Okay, so here's the situation with this girl. I lived with her for a year and a half. We broke up about three years ago because I was a drunk and she liked to cheat. Things did not end well, to say the least. But we still IM each other every six month or so. Since I last saw her, I quit drinking and using drugs.

In our IM last night, she said that she's going to be in town next weekend, and needs a place to stay. She lives about six hours away now.

I don't know what her intentions are, but I really don't think I ought to be trying to hook up with her. I haven't done any naked-type hooking up with anyone else since last time I saw her, though.

If you've read some of my recent posts, there is another girl I'm interested in, and things progressed a little bit, but now we're "just friends."

I've been kicking around the idea of using the new girl as a "bodyguard" from the old one. But that could go very badly, and could be a very sleazy and manipulative move.

What should I do?

[/ QUOTE ]

[SammyKid11]

[ QUOTE ]
BTW, the troll in this thread can safely be added to your banlist, but he did make a true point.

Success in this situation does not go to the meek. If you do nothing, the opportunity will pass and you will not get the girl. You should decide on what you want to do and then _do_ it post-haste. Even a week from now is too late.

My advice: Tell the ex you're through. Tell the other girl your ex asked to stay, but you refused because you want to be with her. No more waiting, you want to go for it. Best of luck.

[/ QUOTE ]

This is excellent advice. Tell new girl that old girl wanted to come stay at your place and you told her "no" because you're ready to hit the GO button with new girl. I had a similar situation...

Ex (who'd been a neurotic batch) used me every couple weeks for a booty call (which I didn't mind at the time, especially since the sex was by far the best part of that old relationship). New girl had another boyfriend and was stalling on breaking up with him even though she'd been clear about the fact that she was into me as more than a friend. So I told new girl that I wasn't interested in a platonic friendship with her, I wanted ALL of her. It was a couple weeks before Valentine's and I threw down an ultimatum..."you're MY valentine's date -- or we have to be done."

Other boyfriend was gone in 36 hours, we hooked up (and I got rid of old girlfriend booty calls, obviously), and we've been together ever since. That was over four years ago.

So...tell the new girl exactly what above poster told you to. If she balks at the idea of moving forward with a relationship...then call ex, tell her she's welcome to stay, and SIIHP.