Pooping in public restrooms.

[steelcmg]

while im at work i like to take a crap about 1 time a day. But for some reason i hate to go into the bathroom and crapping when there is someone all ready in there. So usually i will go do something els until the other guy leaves then ill take my turn. Anyone else have this problem or does everyone else just go in there and try to make the smell unbareable for the other person?

[MrTrik]

Employ the courtesy flush now and then. And talk to that chick from another thread that had the glass and the odd attitude on erotica.

Are you concerned only with odors you may generate?

I would think thunderous butt noises may have a more immediate impact on your fellow crapees.

[mlh2e]

I don't have that exact problem, but I do have one of my own.

I still have fits of laughter whenever I'm closing a major transaction and the guy in the next stall over sounds like he is conducting a symphony with his ass.

[xadrez]

People, everyone is in there for the same reason.

Its not like your walking into the middle of Macy's and crapping in the middle of the cosmetics section.

[MrTrik]

I used to have this problem too. When I was 13 years old.

[Sightless]

I have a hard time going to the bathroom when someone is already in there... I think it's called shy bladder syndrome

[mlh2e]

Sorry I forgot that maturity is the norm here in OOT. /images/graemlins/grin.gif

[MoreWineII]

I like to poop in peace as well, it's not that uncommon.

[MrTrik]

If I didn't know you, and you were female, very nice looking, with an awesome rack, and I wanted to do you a different way each day of the week and twice on Sundays I'd wonder what you think about the noises and smells coming out of my body while on the pot. Other than that, who cares, your crap doesn't smell any better or worse than mine.

[threeonefour]

i have went 'number 2' in a public bathroom maybe 3 times in the last ten years tops. not counting hotel rooms which are more or less public, but i basically have no other choice when traveling.

i am surprised i am the first poster to say i am like this. i am not at all OCD or germaphobic. anyone else refuse to use a public restroom unless its a dire emergency?

[steelcmg]

I dont care about the smell i make it think it is more along the lines of the loud noise when it explodes out of my ass.

[HopeydaFish]

[ QUOTE ]
I dont care about the smell i make it think it is more along the lines of the loud noise when it explodes out of my ass.

[/ QUOTE ]

Stop having chili at lunch. /images/graemlins/tongue.gif

[MrTrik]

You're on your way to being a world class serial killer. You been torturing little animals lately?

Life is short, you must be bold and face your fears.

Perhaps singing while you poop will foster a spirit of camaraderie amongst coincidental crappers.

I suggest "Hail to the Bus Driver." It is easy to improvise your own verses for that personal touch.

[BeerMoney]

I didn't take craps in public places until I went to college, in which case I was obviously forced to. Then, it totally blew. But I got used to it.

Now, where I work, I've found the ultimate place to take a dump. Its private, clean, and the bathroom is just a toilet and a lav. No stalls or anything. I am able to find my inner peace. I also bring along my own toilet paper from home concealed in a back pack, for soft wiping.

[kerssens]

I like to think of it like this....they're paying me to take a [censored]. That is, of course, if I'm at work.

[RacersEdge]

I do try to avoid a public #2 when at all possible. It's not so much the awkwardness, but the crappy TP in there - and trying to get it out of those crzy wheel-like contraptions.


At home, I have Charmin and line of sight to the TV.. /images/graemlins/grin.gif

[astroglide]

[ QUOTE ]
line of sight to the TV

[/ QUOTE ]

you live alone, i hope

[ChipWrecked]

HOW TO POOP AT WORK


We've all been there but don't like to admit it. As much as we try to
convince ourselves otherwise, the WORKPOOP is inevitable. For those
who hate pooping at work, following is the Survival Guide for taking a
dump at work.

CROP DUSTING:

When farting, you walk briskly around the office so the smell is not in
your area and everyone else gets a whiff but doesn't know where it came
from. Be careful when you do this. Do not stop until the full fart has
been expelled. Walk an extra 30 feet to make sure the smell has left
your pants.

FLY BY:

This is the act of scouting out a bathroom before pooping. Walk in and
check for other poopers. If there are others in the bathroom, leave and
come back again. Be careful not to become a FREQUENT FLYER.
People may become suspicious if they catch you constantly going into the
bathroom.

ESCAPEE:

This is a fart that slips out while taking a leak at the urinal or
forcing a poop in a stall. This is usually accompanied by a sudden wave
of embarrassment. If you release an escapee, do not acknowledge iit.
Pretend it did not happen. If you are standing next to the farter in the
urinal, pretend you did not hear it. No one likes an escapee. It is
uncomfortable for all involved. Making a joke or laughing makes both
parties feel uneasy

JAILBREAK:

When forcing a poop, several farts slip out at a machine gun pace. This
is usually a side effect of diarrhea or a hangover. If this should
happen, do not panic. Remain in the stall until everyone has left the
bathroom to spare everyone the awkwardness of what just occured.

COURTESY FLUSH:

The act of flushing the toilet the instant the poop hits the water. This
reduces the amount of airtime the poop has to stink ! up the bathroom.
This can help you avoid being caught doing the WALK OF SHAME.

WALK OF SHAME:

Walking from the stall, to the sink, to the door after you have just
stunk the bathroom. This can be a very uncomfortable moment if someone
walks in and busts you. As with farts, it is best to pretend that the
smell does not exist. This very uncomfortable walk can be avoided with
the use of the COURTESY FLUSH.

OUT OF THE CLOSET POOPER:

This is a colleague who poops at work and is damn proud of it.
You will often see an Out Of The Closet Pooper enter the bathroom with a
newspaper or magazine under his or her arm. Always look around the
office for the Out Of The Closet Pooper before entering the bathroom.

THE POOPING FRIENDS NETWORK (P.F.N):

A group of co-workers who band together to ensure emergency pooping goes
off without incident. This group can help you to monitor the whereabouts
of Out Of The Closet Poopers, and i! dentify SAFE HAVENS.

SAFE HAVENS:

A Safe Haven is a seldom-used bathroom somewhere in the building where
you can least expect visitors. Try floors that are predominantly of the
opposite sex. This will reduce the odds of a pooper of your sex entering
the bathroom.

TURD BURGLAR:

This is someone who does not realize that you are in the stall and tries
to force the door open. This is one of the most shocking and vulnerable
moments that can occur when taking a poop at work If this occurs, remain
in the stall until the Turd Burglar leaves. This way you will avoid all
uncomfortable eye contact.

CAMO-COUGH:

A phony cough that alerts all new entrants into the bathroom that you
are in a stall is called a Camo-Cough. This can be used to cover-up a
WATERMELON, or to alert potential Turd Burglars. The Camo-Cough is very
effective when used in conjunction with an ASTAIRE.

ASTAIRE:

An Astaire is a subtle toe-tap that is used to alert potential Turd
Burglars that you are occupying a stall. This will all doubt that the
stall is occupied. If you hear an Astaire, leave the bathroom
immediately so the pooper can poop in peace.

WATERMELON:

A watermelon is a big poop that creates a loud splash when hitting the
toilet water. This is also an embarrassing incident. If you feel a
Watermelon coming on, create a diversion. See CAMO-COUGH.

HAVANA OMELET:

A case of diarrhea that creates a series of loud splashes in the toilet
water. Often accompanied by an Escapee. Try using a Camo-Cough with an
Astaire.

UNCLE TODD:

An Uncle Todd is a bathroom user who seems to linger around forever.
This person could spend ! extended lengths of time in front of the
mirror
or sitting on the pot. An Uncle Todd makes it difficult to relax while
on the crapper, as you should always wait to poop when the bathroom is
empty. This benefits you as well as other bathroom attendees.


Hope the Survival Guide helps, as the WORKPOOP is an inevitable part of
life

[threeonefour]

[ QUOTE ]
I like to think of it like this....they're paying me to take a [censored]. That is, of course, if I'm at work.

[/ QUOTE ]
haha NH.

yea its just so gross to me, i don't know if i could ever do it with any regularity. during the fall and spring i spend a lot of time at my university. its a 20 minute walk to my apartment and there were 5 or 6 times last year where i walked home from the university just to crap then go straight back

ChipWrecked, you have written a fine manifesto on dookie.

Kudos to you, sir.

[woodguy]

http://naliselc.canalblog.com/trainspotting_toilet_4900008.jpg

[SteamingFish]

I think it's one of those things that gets easier with practice. I used to only go at home, but now I'm with kerssens. You have to go, it's a part of life. You can go at home where you have many better things to do, or you can go at work while you're on the clock. There's also some cool magazines at my work, that I wouldn't get to read otherwise. This is also +EV because there's only one stall.

At my last job, this didn't work so well. Bigger company, two stalls. You go in, sit down, not 10 seconds later, somebody comes in and sits down in the other stall. The two of you sit there in awkward silence for 20 minutes or so until one of you gives up, pretends to wipe, and leaves. Worse, the other stall is wheelchair-accessible, so he can see your feet, but you can't see his! -EV

[siccjay]

[ QUOTE ]
I used to have this problem too. When I was 13 years old.

[/ QUOTE ]

Poop is still funny. If you don't think so, you are lame.

[kerssens]

[ QUOTE ]
The two of you sit there in awkward silence for 20 minutes or so until one of you gives up, pretends to wipe, and leaves.

[/ QUOTE ]

haha, I'm trying to figure out why one would pretend to wipe.

[SteamingFish]

Well, you're still perfectly clean since you haven't passed anything. If you just stand up and leave, the other guy will know he's won. If you take some TP (just have to make the ripping sound, don't have to go through the motions), then he might think you went before he came in and were just reading the whole time. Plus, it might freak him out when you just rip off one little square. Yeah, I know it's dumb, but when you're in a 20-min. silent stall battle out of position, what else are you going to think about? /images/graemlins/crazy.gif

Jeez, if I only thought this much about my cards...

[MoreWineII]

[ QUOTE ]
I didn't take craps in public places until I went to college, in which case I was obviously forced to. Then, it totally blew. But I got used to it.

Now, where I work, I've found the ultimate place to take a dump. Its private, clean, and the bathroom is just a toilet and a lav. No stalls or anything. I am able to find my inner peace. I also bring along my own toilet paper from home concealed in a back pack, for soft wiping.

[/ QUOTE ]

Sounds like Heaven. My work pooper isn't bad, but there is another stall. Someday I should sabotage it.

[47outs]

Stage fright man. A buddy of mine gets it so bad he can't even take a leak in public washrooms.

outs

[OtisTheMarsupial]

[ QUOTE ]
I used to have this problem too. When I was 13 years old.

[/ QUOTE ]

I love pooping in public places now.

[touchfaith]

My body has a 100% efficency rate and as a result...I don't crap.

[RRRRICK]

I think there should be a certain level of etiquette displayed by all public poopers especially when a common fellow is only two feet away seperated by only a thin sheet mdf board.

i understand that noises and bad smells are inevitable but I strongly believe that certain people take pride and pleasure in pushing so hard that they risk popping a vein in there forehead just to maximise the sound and splatter.

Coupled with painlike groans these sonic booms typically proceed duck like quacks the whole unsavoury exhibition I can do without.

These people feel the need to perform, the need to entertain there neighbour with there hidden talent. To all these butt buglers out there who think this way we don't want to hear your symphony. I'm not saying silence but please no exaggerating.

[gorie]

this thread is funny.!

and i hate going in public bathrooms too.

[ChipWrecked]

[ QUOTE ]
ChipWrecked, you have written a fine manifesto on dookie.

Kudos to you, sir.

[/ QUOTE ]

Thanks for the props my friend, but that was nothing more than a good memory for minutae I've seen plus copy/paste skills.

[Luzion]

Nice guide

[DasLeben]

[ QUOTE ]
My body has a 100% efficency rate and as a result...I don't crap.

[/ QUOTE ]

No, that's chicks. They don't crap because of this.