11t
07-29-2005, 03:26 PM
I would like begin by saying thank you to all the posters on this forum who's insight and wisdom into this card game have allowed me to advance my game so much so quickly.
Anyways, this is somewhat the classic "I'm running bad" post however I would like to say it is more of a "I was running/could be running bad now" post. I dunno, it just just something I feel like writing down for myself and for whomever wishes to read it. Also I read Irieguy's post about "newbies on coolers" and it somewhat drove me to write this.
Firstly though I feel a proper introduction is due since most of my posts on this forum are pretty brief. My name is Matthew Anderson and I am a 21 year old Mechanical Engineering student at the University Of North Dakota (UND, also known as the University of No Diversity).
I shall begin though.
I consider myself to be a winning player. Of course, if you don't consider yourself a winner why even play poker? My spread sheet says there is a .001% chance that I am not a winner at the limits I play. Let me put it this way, I think I am a decent poker player but it is completely plausible I suck.
Now, I was 6 tabling the 27's on PS for a while (around 500+ish tournaments) then I hit a 20 buyin downswing which was a pretty decent sum of cash for me so I dropped down limits to build my BR back up.
I began playing the 16's and was running good. I don't want to say I was running HOT because I wasn't, there were some dips here and there but nothing major. Then it happened. If I could pin point one single instant in time where I began "running bad" it would be this. It all began on tournament 604 of a 1k SNG stretch when I had 5xbb on the bubble and called an AI w/ 99 from a very loose aggressive SB who flipped over 88. Neither of us had clubs, the flop cames jt2 all clubs. The turn was a 7 of clubs. So his ONLY OUT for victory was my non club 9 for a straight to beat my pair. I do not think I need to say what card hit on the river.
Now I started laughing after this happened, because, it was really funny. I root for my opponents when they are huge dogs and I find suckouts to be pretty funny at most times. It is a game I play with myself to prevent tilt, and I have only been on tilt at one time in my life (which was awful). Now, I wish I knew how and could post a graph of what happened but I went on a 200 tournament 35 buyin downswing. That is when I stopped recording tournaments into my spreadsheet. My ROI dropped from 22 to 10 percent so quickly I thought I was going to vomit.
After a while I stopped laughing at the suckouts.
I remember smoking so many cigarettes with my head hung low just thinking to myself, "what the f*** is going on?" Running bad isn't so much a stretch of unlucky events as it is a state of mind. It gets into your head and twists you around. Being in the depths of a bad run made me question everything I thought I knew about poker. What the worst about running bad is that when, I was running bad I forgot how to win. I forgot the necessary risks you need to take to get first and make money. After a while I began to play too tight on the bubble and tryiing to fold my way into 3rd too much. I stopped taking the necessary +EV risks needed to win a STT and get a higher roi%. I was tryiing to fold into 3rd more and more since after semi-consecutive 9-15 OOTM streaks just cashing boosts your confidence.
All I can say is thank you eastbay for SNG PT, this allowed me to check every decision I made and fix many leaks I was springing from my lack of confidence.
However, it seemed that no matter how well I played, the slide continued and I was lost. Now I was never in any fear of going broke but I was thinking, "Wow, I have a ton of money online and I am going to lose it all. I should just cash it all out now." Two posts by one poster on this forum saved me from the brink of quitting.
This one (http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/showthreaded.php?Cat=&Number=1822484&page=1&view=c ollapsed&sb=5&o=14&fpart=1) and this puppy here (http://archiveserver.twoplustwo.com/showthreaded.php?Cat=&Number=1765434&page=&view=&s b=5&o=)
It is crazy though, I had back to back 14 OOTM streaks in a row and those they were only separated by one won coin flip. You never think about it but your AK vs a7os is only ~70% to win so a good portion of the time your opponent is going to suck out. Then it happens again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again.
Anyways I remember at one point I finally got HU versus a guy who was registered in the same 6 tournaments as me and had witnessed me bust out of the previous five in 5th/4th and he said "I didn't think you would make it there for a while Eleventy" and my response was "I didn't think I would either." In the course of like a week and a half I went on roughly a 50 buyin down-swing which I never thought was possible at the limits I was playing. I always thought "those huge swings are for those guys playing nosebleed limits, 25 buyins is about as big as I can expect."
Oh how foolish I was.
I stopped keeping track of my tournaments on my spreadsheet because I didn't even want to know. I was like an ostrich keeping its head in the ground (does that even happen?) or some little kid closing their eyes tryiing to hide from the monsters in the closet. If you don't see it, it doesn't exist right?
It felt as if my bankroll was a pile of sand I was holding in my hands and as the sand began to spill I gripped it tighter and tighter forcing more and more sand out the minute cracks I couldn't cover. That is the best analogy I could come up with to running bad. You statistically began to run bad, then think it must be me. I must be playing bad. No winner could be losing like this. So you change your game, incorrectly, and run even worse. It is a twisted and sadisitic relationship between your psyche and the reality of the game we are playing.
Well I got out of that funk and moved over to Empire for rakeback. Now I have the roll for the 22's but I began by playing the 11's to get adjusted to the shallower stacks. I started off on the wrong foot on a 20 buyin downswing over my first 50 tournaments. Again I was asking myself, "How the hell could I be running this bad in a game this easy?" Again I read Irieguy's posts and tried to tell myself "If I play right I will win. Just shake those beats off like you are Mike Vick running thru the Viking's defense."
Anyways I ran off 10 out of 11 ITM this morning so perhaps I'm no longer "running bad" or I fixed a few of the leaks I had from being used to the deeper stacks on PS. I don't know, it is completely plausible I suck but I'm going to keep playing and see what happens.
So in summation, thank you to everybody who has ever posted here. I would like to say thank you to Irieguy especially. I don't know if he is going to read this but there were many nights where I just sat in my room, a broken and badly beaten man (pun intended) and I read those two posts. They kept me from going insane.
PS. I still have the same mouse and keyboard from when I started playing online poker for all you crazies who throw crap across the room when some moron makes a ridiculous call and sucks out.
Anyways, this is somewhat the classic "I'm running bad" post however I would like to say it is more of a "I was running/could be running bad now" post. I dunno, it just just something I feel like writing down for myself and for whomever wishes to read it. Also I read Irieguy's post about "newbies on coolers" and it somewhat drove me to write this.
Firstly though I feel a proper introduction is due since most of my posts on this forum are pretty brief. My name is Matthew Anderson and I am a 21 year old Mechanical Engineering student at the University Of North Dakota (UND, also known as the University of No Diversity).
I shall begin though.
I consider myself to be a winning player. Of course, if you don't consider yourself a winner why even play poker? My spread sheet says there is a .001% chance that I am not a winner at the limits I play. Let me put it this way, I think I am a decent poker player but it is completely plausible I suck.
Now, I was 6 tabling the 27's on PS for a while (around 500+ish tournaments) then I hit a 20 buyin downswing which was a pretty decent sum of cash for me so I dropped down limits to build my BR back up.
I began playing the 16's and was running good. I don't want to say I was running HOT because I wasn't, there were some dips here and there but nothing major. Then it happened. If I could pin point one single instant in time where I began "running bad" it would be this. It all began on tournament 604 of a 1k SNG stretch when I had 5xbb on the bubble and called an AI w/ 99 from a very loose aggressive SB who flipped over 88. Neither of us had clubs, the flop cames jt2 all clubs. The turn was a 7 of clubs. So his ONLY OUT for victory was my non club 9 for a straight to beat my pair. I do not think I need to say what card hit on the river.
Now I started laughing after this happened, because, it was really funny. I root for my opponents when they are huge dogs and I find suckouts to be pretty funny at most times. It is a game I play with myself to prevent tilt, and I have only been on tilt at one time in my life (which was awful). Now, I wish I knew how and could post a graph of what happened but I went on a 200 tournament 35 buyin downswing. That is when I stopped recording tournaments into my spreadsheet. My ROI dropped from 22 to 10 percent so quickly I thought I was going to vomit.
After a while I stopped laughing at the suckouts.
I remember smoking so many cigarettes with my head hung low just thinking to myself, "what the f*** is going on?" Running bad isn't so much a stretch of unlucky events as it is a state of mind. It gets into your head and twists you around. Being in the depths of a bad run made me question everything I thought I knew about poker. What the worst about running bad is that when, I was running bad I forgot how to win. I forgot the necessary risks you need to take to get first and make money. After a while I began to play too tight on the bubble and tryiing to fold my way into 3rd too much. I stopped taking the necessary +EV risks needed to win a STT and get a higher roi%. I was tryiing to fold into 3rd more and more since after semi-consecutive 9-15 OOTM streaks just cashing boosts your confidence.
All I can say is thank you eastbay for SNG PT, this allowed me to check every decision I made and fix many leaks I was springing from my lack of confidence.
However, it seemed that no matter how well I played, the slide continued and I was lost. Now I was never in any fear of going broke but I was thinking, "Wow, I have a ton of money online and I am going to lose it all. I should just cash it all out now." Two posts by one poster on this forum saved me from the brink of quitting.
This one (http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/showthreaded.php?Cat=&Number=1822484&page=1&view=c ollapsed&sb=5&o=14&fpart=1) and this puppy here (http://archiveserver.twoplustwo.com/showthreaded.php?Cat=&Number=1765434&page=&view=&s b=5&o=)
It is crazy though, I had back to back 14 OOTM streaks in a row and those they were only separated by one won coin flip. You never think about it but your AK vs a7os is only ~70% to win so a good portion of the time your opponent is going to suck out. Then it happens again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again.
Anyways I remember at one point I finally got HU versus a guy who was registered in the same 6 tournaments as me and had witnessed me bust out of the previous five in 5th/4th and he said "I didn't think you would make it there for a while Eleventy" and my response was "I didn't think I would either." In the course of like a week and a half I went on roughly a 50 buyin down-swing which I never thought was possible at the limits I was playing. I always thought "those huge swings are for those guys playing nosebleed limits, 25 buyins is about as big as I can expect."
Oh how foolish I was.
I stopped keeping track of my tournaments on my spreadsheet because I didn't even want to know. I was like an ostrich keeping its head in the ground (does that even happen?) or some little kid closing their eyes tryiing to hide from the monsters in the closet. If you don't see it, it doesn't exist right?
It felt as if my bankroll was a pile of sand I was holding in my hands and as the sand began to spill I gripped it tighter and tighter forcing more and more sand out the minute cracks I couldn't cover. That is the best analogy I could come up with to running bad. You statistically began to run bad, then think it must be me. I must be playing bad. No winner could be losing like this. So you change your game, incorrectly, and run even worse. It is a twisted and sadisitic relationship between your psyche and the reality of the game we are playing.
Well I got out of that funk and moved over to Empire for rakeback. Now I have the roll for the 22's but I began by playing the 11's to get adjusted to the shallower stacks. I started off on the wrong foot on a 20 buyin downswing over my first 50 tournaments. Again I was asking myself, "How the hell could I be running this bad in a game this easy?" Again I read Irieguy's posts and tried to tell myself "If I play right I will win. Just shake those beats off like you are Mike Vick running thru the Viking's defense."
Anyways I ran off 10 out of 11 ITM this morning so perhaps I'm no longer "running bad" or I fixed a few of the leaks I had from being used to the deeper stacks on PS. I don't know, it is completely plausible I suck but I'm going to keep playing and see what happens.
So in summation, thank you to everybody who has ever posted here. I would like to say thank you to Irieguy especially. I don't know if he is going to read this but there were many nights where I just sat in my room, a broken and badly beaten man (pun intended) and I read those two posts. They kept me from going insane.
PS. I still have the same mouse and keyboard from when I started playing online poker for all you crazies who throw crap across the room when some moron makes a ridiculous call and sucks out.