Saying Goodbye (So Hard)

Not many of you know me, but some of you certainly do from my postings. I'm the 21 year old aspiring pro from the Taj. I love this game and everything that goes with it, the people the money, the variations, the strategies, the glitz of the casino. It has consumed by life for the last four years. But now I'm done with it. I have lost thousands of dollars, I have lost friends, I have strained relationships with family members, and for what? Am I at rock bottom? No. I lost a few grand of my savings, but I'll make it back. But I feel lower than any of you could imagine. You see...this has been my life. I have been running for a long time, and I'm still not sure why. But I am done running. I simply cannot control my gambling, and it has the potential to ruin everything. But I love it, I have tears in my eyes just thinking about it being over. Yet it must be. All my friends play, hopefully they will remain friends. This is my biggest fear. Despite my mostly lurking status, I feel like I know all of you guys...Vince, Afish, MikeL, Goat, Mason, and others have been almost heroic to me. And now I am just one of the fish you tell stories about. Maybe I was all along. I have to find something else out there, there has to be something that I can love that won't destroy me, right. Any ideas will be appreciated. At the conclusion of this thread, I hope to quit the game. I hope my will is that strong.


Jeff

hey, i busted out about 30 years ago...got back to life..have a doctorate degree..wife..life...6 fig salary...part of me still wishes i had been good enuf(to play pro poker)))), but hey..now i play recreationally and after a 4 day weekend at tunica, i am glad to be going to work today...gl..it ain't over, it's just beginning...gl

That is a hard thing to realize, but for some people, actually most people, poker is too tough to make money at. The fact that you are young (only a year younger then me though) and realize this now is awesome. You wont end up another gambling degenerate who is always low on funds and looking to get that gambling fix. You said it yourself that you like to gamble, and anybody who knows anything about winning at poker knows that gambling and playing a winning game are two different things.

One thing you mentioned was that poker had started to consume your life in a negative way. That alone is a very good reason to step away, letting family and friends slip away because of a game is just awful. After you step away from the game for a while you will be better able to ascertain wether or not you made the right decision. One day you might decide to come back, or you may decide that the whole experience was something that was just young fun. Finally, don't ever come back if you think you will get all caught up in the action and risk "losing it all" as you put it. Anyway good luck on your future endeavors!

Take care,

Kris

You are smart. Over 95% of poker players that think they are good wind up broke.

Jeff,


Almost anyone good enough to win consistently at poker will make more money, have more job satisfaction, and usually be happier if they apply themselves to another vocation. If you control your gambling urge (and becoming knowledgeable about the cost of tilt is a good start), then you can play part time. And there is no reason you can't become an expert playing part time as long as you study and work on your game.


Most of the top posters on this forum have "real jobs" or are retired after having a fine career (e.g., Jim Brier worked for NASA, skp is an attorney). I value their advice over about 98% of the "pros" I know. Yet skp has what appears to be a nice job in a law firm (giving him time to post on "breaks" /images/smile.gif )with all the benefits including health insurance, respectability, and a family (how many poker players have good family lives?). Jim can play without the pressure of needing the money to pay the rent. He can be satisfied that he took part in one of mankind's greatest endeavors.


You are young and the world needs bright decent people in the work force. You will find your way and have our respect.


Regards,


Rick

Jeff,


You've identified a problem and decided to do something about it. I'd say you have already won half the battle.


It is seldom easy to make major life changes. At such times, many people benefit from counseling and/or a support group.


Best wishes,


-Mike

Thank you all for your comments. I still can't help thinking about this game and reading this board every five minutes...I am struggling to imagine a life without it so I am trying to somehow rationalize playing a little (even though I know I shouldn't). I played in the local 5-10 stud game today against my better judgment, was holding my own for a bit before getting run over for $200. I made a late comeback and "only" lost $70, but I was still mad that I played at all. I got myself banned from Paradise, the real cause of my downfall and uninstalled all online poker from my CPU. I'd like to think I can play occassionally at low stakes but I have proven time and again I can't. But maybe if I left the ATM card and the credit card at home, I could enjoy 2-4 for $100 like everyone else. What does everyone think of this? We'll see what happens, but thank you all for the input. I know stopping is the best thing for me, but a total cessation is beyond my ability at this point. I hope someday I am not FORCERD by circumstances to change that. Any further comments or experiences greatly appreciated.


Jeff

Okay, so maybe you've only won a quarter of the battle so far. Seems like you need to think carefully about your life's priorities at this time. If this leads you to decide it is important for you to stop gambling, then you should probably seek help from Gamblers Anonymous and/or counseling professionals.


Best wishes,


Mike

Jeff,


I was in the same boat. Couldn't stop gambling. Couldn't stop THINKING about it. Tried to quit; couldn't. Didn't want to go to meetings, and hear a bunch of sob stories.


Went to the bookstore, and got some literature on the problem.


It helped. A lot.


If you're not the book-reading type, then get a hold of GA. They WANT to help you.


I'm a bookmaker (off-shore, where it's legal). I've also dealt poker. I've been able to keep my mind in action, if not my money.


You CAN beat this thing. But you DO need help. It's not just a matter of willpower. You need to learn WHY you crave the action (it's psychological, and the books will explain it), but more importantly, why you WANT to lose. No, it has nothing to do with Sigmund Frued's theories of masochism.


Drop me an e-mail if you like.


BTW, I do play occassionally, and have learned to keep it under control. But time away helped with that.


Bobby


(A bookmaker wanting to help a kid QUIT gambling? What has the world come to? Please, don't tell my boss!)

Quit cold turkey. right now. It works.

....is to take up circle jerk. Learning to be a circle jerk champion takes a strong hand I've been told. At least it shouldn't cost you any money - unless you play out in the public - then the fines for lewdness will probably cost more than your poker losses.


Of course...........I'm just busting on you. Listen to the previous poster - quit cold turkey. Get out, realize you are not cut out for this and move onto something else with your life. You're too damn young to be so compulsive - wasting your life away. Get out of the house - smell the fresh air - take up a hobby - better yet, go to your local parish or Red Cross and do some volunteer work. Its important to feel good about yourself again. Eff your friends who play - if they really are your friends they'll still be part of your life. Then when you feel like you've turned it all around, try circle-jerk one more time to see if you got that championship mettle /images/smile.gif


Good luck to ya,

regards, dw