Sredni Vashtar
03-01-2003, 09:40 PM
Welcome to this post. Forgive the spelling errors and such, there has been little editing. Mark Glover was not available.
Sredni Vashtar has been taking public transit. Please refrain from loud gasps and expletives.
Sredni feels your emotions, worry not. Have some green tea with ginseng. Breathe deeply.
Depressing, but there does come a time when gods, even ferret gods, must endure the hardships
of mere human mortals. The god guidelines often recommend tasks such as starvation, or crucifiction.
Sredni thinks those are great things for other gods to do if they so choose. Sredni thought otherwise.
Sredni found suitable alternatives on an often overlooked page. Therein contained lesser hardships
such as attending an Engleburt Humperdinck concert, living a year as PokerVeteran, and, of course,
riding public transit.
It shouldn't surprise you that Sredni has some observations to pass along. Please refrain
from despising Sredni for his inappropriateness in this human form. Remember, Sredni is tempororarily
of the flesh- weak, and not without his flaws. Heck, Sredni nearly even bought a life sized poster of Shania Twain...
Grampa:
Sredni did notice a pair of humans conversing in close quarters. The male was perhaps in his sixties,
and bore a close resemblance to "The Skipper" on Gilligan's Ilsand. He dressed much like I imagine
Chuck Norris did about ten years ago, if that means anything to you. The female was perhaps twenty,
with long blondish hair, painted on jeans, very pretty. Sredni noticed all this while appearing to
onlookers to be completely unaware and disinterested. The words were quiet and intimate, but one
thing young female said repeatedly to The Skipper was "Grampa" in a flirtatious tone. As they disembarked, Sredni
did wonder idly why such an arrangement didn't involve higher end transportation such as a Mercedes or
a limo.
Headhunter:
Even before she got on the bus Sredni spotted her tiny head. She wore a black coat, and had long blonde hair
cropped up at the back of her head by a plastic hair clip. She looked utterly normal, if there is such a thing,
except for her undersized head, which seemed to be about half the size it should be. All normal sized heads
turned as she walked down the bus aisle, and her eyes averted knowingly downwards. As she passed by, Sredni
noticed that she was pleasant enough looking, if you could just get beyond that undersized head. Then a small
sat right in front of Sredni. Her half sized head sat atop of her broad shoulders, not more than three feet ahead.
Sredni began the inevitable wondering. What of her life? Was she happy? Did she have trouble finding hats? Was she
made fun of alot in school? Soon Sredni's feeble human incarnate attention drifted, and when he looked back, she was
gone. Would Sredni ever see that half sized headed woman ever again?
The possible pervert:
It was late and only three of us were aboard the train. (Put those images of Rebecca De Mornay and Tom Cruse aside, you
devils.) The first aboard was Sredni, the second a baggy, overweight, unkempt, greasy looking man in his mid forties. The third,
a teenage girl, black hair, and very sleepy. She began to doze off. The greasy fellow took notice, and under what he probably thought
of as sureptitiously, he began to inch closer to the teenage girl. Sredni sensed bad vibrations. Sredni sat up alerted, making it clear
to the greaser that there was a third party, one who would not tolerate wrong doings. This seemed to work. The greaser moved off slightly.
All was well. What would have happened had Sredni not been there? What of the sleepy girl? Or did Sredni anticipate darkness in man's heart that
was not there? Sredni has only questions.
Of course there were more things, things that seemed interesting in their novelty. Not major events. Somehow the minor machinations of human
society seemed more interesting, more telling of human nature. Sredni could make posterings on issues such as homelessness and infrastructure- but there might be more to be learned in a frown than a wail. Watching a grown man pick his nose in public can be discombobulating.
Sredni became temporarily selfish. At first, Sredni thought of women with their baby carriages as people to be assisted at every oppurtunity, moved over for and
cherished. As time went on, Sredni began to think that they shouldn't have gotten pregnant in the first place, and they had no business on the
bus during rush hour for heaven's sake. Is that what happens to you mortals? Or is Sredni particularly shameful?
So Sredni now must ponder this trivial happenings in a quiet place.
Thanks for listening, Sredni must now go back to where we gods go. If you ask, remember the line from Amarillo Slim, "no one knows where the hobo goes when it snows."
So, too, of ferret gods.
Sredni Vashtar.
Sredni Vashtar has been taking public transit. Please refrain from loud gasps and expletives.
Sredni feels your emotions, worry not. Have some green tea with ginseng. Breathe deeply.
Depressing, but there does come a time when gods, even ferret gods, must endure the hardships
of mere human mortals. The god guidelines often recommend tasks such as starvation, or crucifiction.
Sredni thinks those are great things for other gods to do if they so choose. Sredni thought otherwise.
Sredni found suitable alternatives on an often overlooked page. Therein contained lesser hardships
such as attending an Engleburt Humperdinck concert, living a year as PokerVeteran, and, of course,
riding public transit.
It shouldn't surprise you that Sredni has some observations to pass along. Please refrain
from despising Sredni for his inappropriateness in this human form. Remember, Sredni is tempororarily
of the flesh- weak, and not without his flaws. Heck, Sredni nearly even bought a life sized poster of Shania Twain...
Grampa:
Sredni did notice a pair of humans conversing in close quarters. The male was perhaps in his sixties,
and bore a close resemblance to "The Skipper" on Gilligan's Ilsand. He dressed much like I imagine
Chuck Norris did about ten years ago, if that means anything to you. The female was perhaps twenty,
with long blondish hair, painted on jeans, very pretty. Sredni noticed all this while appearing to
onlookers to be completely unaware and disinterested. The words were quiet and intimate, but one
thing young female said repeatedly to The Skipper was "Grampa" in a flirtatious tone. As they disembarked, Sredni
did wonder idly why such an arrangement didn't involve higher end transportation such as a Mercedes or
a limo.
Headhunter:
Even before she got on the bus Sredni spotted her tiny head. She wore a black coat, and had long blonde hair
cropped up at the back of her head by a plastic hair clip. She looked utterly normal, if there is such a thing,
except for her undersized head, which seemed to be about half the size it should be. All normal sized heads
turned as she walked down the bus aisle, and her eyes averted knowingly downwards. As she passed by, Sredni
noticed that she was pleasant enough looking, if you could just get beyond that undersized head. Then a small
sat right in front of Sredni. Her half sized head sat atop of her broad shoulders, not more than three feet ahead.
Sredni began the inevitable wondering. What of her life? Was she happy? Did she have trouble finding hats? Was she
made fun of alot in school? Soon Sredni's feeble human incarnate attention drifted, and when he looked back, she was
gone. Would Sredni ever see that half sized headed woman ever again?
The possible pervert:
It was late and only three of us were aboard the train. (Put those images of Rebecca De Mornay and Tom Cruse aside, you
devils.) The first aboard was Sredni, the second a baggy, overweight, unkempt, greasy looking man in his mid forties. The third,
a teenage girl, black hair, and very sleepy. She began to doze off. The greasy fellow took notice, and under what he probably thought
of as sureptitiously, he began to inch closer to the teenage girl. Sredni sensed bad vibrations. Sredni sat up alerted, making it clear
to the greaser that there was a third party, one who would not tolerate wrong doings. This seemed to work. The greaser moved off slightly.
All was well. What would have happened had Sredni not been there? What of the sleepy girl? Or did Sredni anticipate darkness in man's heart that
was not there? Sredni has only questions.
Of course there were more things, things that seemed interesting in their novelty. Not major events. Somehow the minor machinations of human
society seemed more interesting, more telling of human nature. Sredni could make posterings on issues such as homelessness and infrastructure- but there might be more to be learned in a frown than a wail. Watching a grown man pick his nose in public can be discombobulating.
Sredni became temporarily selfish. At first, Sredni thought of women with their baby carriages as people to be assisted at every oppurtunity, moved over for and
cherished. As time went on, Sredni began to think that they shouldn't have gotten pregnant in the first place, and they had no business on the
bus during rush hour for heaven's sake. Is that what happens to you mortals? Or is Sredni particularly shameful?
So Sredni now must ponder this trivial happenings in a quiet place.
Thanks for listening, Sredni must now go back to where we gods go. If you ask, remember the line from Amarillo Slim, "no one knows where the hobo goes when it snows."
So, too, of ferret gods.
Sredni Vashtar.