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Patrick del Poker Grande
07-19-2005, 11:32 AM
Alright, so I went to pick up the birthday girl yesterday and then go to Chuck E Cheese's, where my wife would meet us after work. First thing that happens is neither I or her mother could get the car seat out of their minivan. So, it starts off right - with me not driving my WRX (with a car seat in it, though), but rather driving down to CEC in a minivan. Might as well do it right, I suppose. Anyway, she chatted my ear off the whole way down there, telling me all about how we have to do skeeball first and then the game where you throw the balls in the tube and then the fishing game. Alright. I heard all about how she got 'bonked' on the head with a frisbee at her birthday party and everything else. It was a good time.

We get there and the wifey's stuck in traffic and it'll be another 5-10 minutes. Great - now I've got a 4-year-old standing in the lobby at Chuck E Cheese's just looking in. Oh and she's got to to pee now too. I'm just hoping she can hold out until the gender-appropriate guardian gets there.

The Boss gets there, so we run inside and make our way to the restrooms and I spy the coin machine. I was told about about some pizza and coin combo deal, but all that's out the window and forgotten about because it's urgent that we get to the skeeball. Turns out the girl can't even throw the ball hard enough to get it to anything that scores, so I throw half the balls myself and help her throw the rest. That's right, I'm helping a 4-year-old girl throw a ball up the skeeball. Basically, I'm throwing her arm and relying on her motor skills to release the ball at the right time. We nearly beaned the poor woman next to us at least once. There was no time for me to make skeeball mine now, though, because as soon as we're done, it's "this game next", then "this one!" "what one next?" and I've got the token pocket.

Luckily, she's hungry now, so we go order pizza. This is when I remember that there's a deal on pizza and coins. At first, I thought we got ripped off, but then I figured it doesn't really do much for you. You get a pizza, four drinks, and 100 coins for $40. We got the same thing within a dollar or two buying everything separate. We might've even done better. So, the lesson here is don't get taken on this scam.

While we're waiting for the pizza, she decides she wants to go in the huge tube in the sky thing. Fine. I'll only say this about this contraption: If you're going to let your kid go in this thing, be prepared to climb in there yourself, either by child demand or because your kid got up there and to the farthest corner and then freaked out and won't come down. We rounded her up when the pizza got there. It actually wasn't too terribly bad. It was definitely little kid pizza and it was kind of greasy, but it was edible.

The rest of the trip was pretty uneventful. We played every game at least once. I found myself saying "well that's pretty lame" at most of them. Skeeball is definitely the best place to get your tickets. It seems most of the games are set so that you get 4 tickets pretty much regardless of how you do and if you really beat the crap out of it, maybe you get 5 or 6. For instance, she played the little bonk the gopher game and got 4 tickets for hitting about 3 of them. I absolutely dominated that game next, making a fool out of myself hitting every single one of those little fuckers and I got 7 tickets. I recognized that we needed to pile up some more tickets or this girl isn't going to get jack for toys, so I lead the troup back to skeeball. I dominated that thing for an average of about 14 or 15 tickets per game. Unfortunately, I was only able to play 3 games.

We got our little picture drawn and then went over to the toy counter. Boy was I disappointed. I tried to convince her to get the slinkey or the little airplane, but she would have none of it. We ended up with two little bracelets, a Care Bears paper pad, a little frog jumping plastic thing, and some other crap. No mention of army guys or bouncy balls. They didn't even have any!

In summary:
1) Don't worry too much about the pizza+coins deal. You're not losing anything buying everything separate.
2) When you go, you need a dedicated Skeeballer if you want good prizes. All the other games are a rip-off and are pretty lame.
3) Let your kid in the tube in the sky thing at your own risk.
4) Go on a weekday - I'm glad I did.

Patrick del Poker Grande
07-19-2005, 11:34 AM
Oh yeah. We went to Dairy Queen afterwards. Just a little note - your local DQ may or may not have a giant inflatable slide in front of it on mondays. Our little birthday girl demaned that she go up and down this thing 150 times. Luckily, we were able to limit it to about 15. Any more than that, and I'm sure she would've eventually been pummeled and kicked in the face and knocked off of it by the 13-year-old boys attacking the thing and trying to roll the damned thing while they're at the top of it.

lucas9000
07-19-2005, 11:44 AM
this is all well and good, but where are the pictures of whiplash?!?

chaas4747
07-19-2005, 11:46 AM
No mention of the hot chics working there?

How about this big ass mouse was he there?

Did you get a Mister Misty Freeze at DQ?

Questions need answers!

Patrick del Poker Grande
07-19-2005, 11:52 AM
[ QUOTE ]
No mention of the hot chics working there?

How about this big ass mouse was he there?

Did you get a Mister Misty Freeze at DQ?

Questions need answers!

[/ QUOTE ]
No hot chicks at this location. Maybe they all get the weekend shifts.

No big-ass mouse.

I got a Peanut Buster Parfait. I usually get a Buster Bar, but we've got a stash of those in the freezer at home, so I went with plan b.

daveymck
07-19-2005, 11:56 AM
If you think this was fun wait till she gets to school and you end up living your life in these places for all the various birthday parties her friends have.

I had to take my daughter to one on Saturday but it was productive as I didnt sit with the mothers and my GF didnt come so I didnt have to keep her happy, preferring to sit on my own and read 7CSFAP instead.

Patrick del Poker Grande
07-19-2005, 11:59 AM
[ QUOTE ]
If you think this was fun wait till she gets to school and you end up living your life in these places for all the various birthday parties her friends have.

I had to take my daughter to one on Saturday but it was productive as I didnt sit with the mothers and my GF didnt come so I didnt have to keep her happy, preferring to sit on my own and read 7CSFAP instead.

[/ QUOTE ]
Yeah, my wife helped out with her birthday party on Saturday while I hung out at home with the dog. Fun was had by all.

jakethebake
07-19-2005, 12:00 PM
[ QUOTE ]
I hung out at home with the dog. Fun was had by all.

[/ QUOTE ]

Did you put it in her pooper?

bosoxfan
07-19-2005, 12:27 PM
Did your dog get over his seperation issues?

RunDownHouse
07-19-2005, 12:31 PM
[ QUOTE ]
We got our little picture drawn and then went over to the toy counter. Boy was I disappointed. I tried to convince her to get the slinkey or the little airplane, but she would have none of it. We ended up with two little bracelets, a Care Bears paper pad, a little frog jumping plastic thing, and some other crap. No mention of army guys or bouncy balls.

[/ QUOTE ]
This is why I have a steely resolve not to have any daughters.

Patrick del Poker Grande
07-19-2005, 12:32 PM
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
We got our little picture drawn and then went over to the toy counter. Boy was I disappointed. I tried to convince her to get the slinkey or the little airplane, but she would have none of it. We ended up with two little bracelets, a Care Bears paper pad, a little frog jumping plastic thing, and some other crap. No mention of army guys or bouncy balls.

[/ QUOTE ]
This is why I have a steely resolve not to have any daughters.

[/ QUOTE ]
My wife and I have a similar resolve. We want none of this prissy little princess crap.

morgan180
07-19-2005, 12:33 PM
that was great. i can't wait till i have kids...

Voltron87
07-19-2005, 12:35 PM
excellent report. i laughed at a lot.

SuitedSixes
07-19-2005, 12:36 PM
Sorry I failed to mention this when it could have actually been of some help, but I think the game where you fire the balls with the air cannon and try to knock out all of the clown's teeth is your best ticket:token ratio option. You need to knock out two teeth with one ball and then go one for one the rest of the way out for maximum ticketage.

This is one where you can aim and steady the cannon while the child pushes the button. +EV all the way around.

Patrick del Poker Grande
07-19-2005, 12:40 PM
[ QUOTE ]
Sorry I failed to mention this when it could have actually been of some help, but I think the game where you fire the balls with the air cannon and try to knock out all of the clown's teeth is your best ticket:token ratio option. You need to knock out two teeth with one ball and then go one for one the rest of the way out for maximum ticketage.

This is one where you can aim and steady the cannon while the child pushes the button. +EV all the way around.

[/ QUOTE ]
There was no clown-tooth-shooting one, but there was one where you shoot the balls into a bunch of small basketball hoops. I was helping her aim and I think you could do pretty well at this one, but she wouldn't wait until I had it aimed at the right target before she'd shoot, so half of the damned balls ended up in the middle and by the time the gun reloaded, the light switched to a different target. I prefer beaning people at skeeball.

astroglide
07-19-2005, 01:08 PM
more posts should be like this

ThaSaltCracka
07-19-2005, 01:15 PM
what kind of pixxa did you order? How could you not have ditched this little girl? let the women take care of her.

SomethingClever
07-19-2005, 01:50 PM
Damn, nice report. I used to have all my birthdays at CEC.

Play some Double Dragon, pwn the skeeball for a while, and of course take a dip in the ball room.

Good times.

silkyslim
07-19-2005, 01:59 PM
[ QUOTE ]
pummeled and kicked in the face and knocked off of it by the 13-year-old boys attacking the thing and trying to roll the damned thing while they're at the top of it.


[/ QUOTE ]
thats when you get to beat those snotty 13 yr olds.

Sponger15SB
07-19-2005, 02:06 PM
[ QUOTE ]
the game where you fire the balls with the air cannon and try to knock out all of the clown's teeth is your best ticket:token ratio option.

[/ QUOTE ]

Actually the best ticket:token ratio is the skee ball game that doesn't have adequate side protection enabling you to grab the ball out of the machine after it has given you points yet before it has gone down the chute so you can effectively have unlimited throws.

Me and my friends back in 4th-5th grade almost bankrupted Discovery Zone by doing this. hehehe

Brainwalter
07-19-2005, 02:19 PM
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
pummeled and kicked in the face and knocked off of it by the 13-year-old boys attacking the thing and trying to roll the damned thing while they're at the top of it.


[/ QUOTE ]
thats when you get to beat those snotty 13 yr olds.

[/ QUOTE ]

How many of them could you take?

Ulysses
07-19-2005, 02:23 PM
Dip cone, man, dip cone.

Nottom
07-19-2005, 02:23 PM
[ QUOTE ]

I got a Peanut Buster Parfait.

[/ QUOTE ]

nh

jakethebake
07-19-2005, 02:24 PM
[ QUOTE ]
Dip cone, man, dip cone.

[/ QUOTE ]

This was always my choice as well. The crunchy dip stuff is so awesome.

However, in recent years i've gone with the Blizzard with either double Butterfinger or Heath.

SuitedSixes
07-19-2005, 02:27 PM
[ QUOTE ]
Dip cone, man, dip cone.

[/ QUOTE ]

Ummm . . . I think you spelled that wrong. It is spelled M-I-N-T O-R-E-O B-L-I-Z-Z-A-R-D

beerbandit
07-19-2005, 02:37 PM
[ QUOTE ]
Peanut Buster Parfait

[/ QUOTE ]

one of my favorites --- i live a few blocks from a dq and have only been there once this year

Patrick del Poker Grande
07-19-2005, 02:58 PM
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Dip cone, man, dip cone.

[/ QUOTE ]

This was always my choice as well. The crunchy dip stuff is so awesome.

However, in recent years i've gone with the Blizzard with either double Butterfinger or Heath.

[/ QUOTE ]
I used to go for the dip cone and I almost did this time, but I opted for the PBP. You'll both be happy to know that the birthday girl got a chocolate dipped cone and my wife got the crunchy dipped cone and both were very excited and happy with their dessert.

sleight
07-19-2005, 05:17 PM
The last time I was at the fine Aurora ChuckECheese they had a novel idea that renders the "which game is +ticketEV?" moot; they were selling all the prizes for, *gasp*, American Dollars! Probably because it's physically impossible to amass 10K+ tickets in one visit, and easier to placate the screaming childrens that way. "Sure you can have the remote-control-crazy-straw-slurpee-cup-bike-handle-horn-and-noise-maker, honey, I have the $7 right here."

Patrick del Poker Grande
07-19-2005, 05:19 PM
[ QUOTE ]
The last time I was at the fine Aurora ChuckECheese they had a novel idea that renders the "which game is +ticketEV?" moot; they were selling all the prizes for, *gasp*, American Dollars! Probably because it's physically impossible to amass 10K+ tickets in one visit, and easier to placate the screaming childrens that way. "Sure you can have the remote-control-crazy-straw-slurpee-cup-bike-handle-horn-and-noise-maker, honey, I have the $7 right here."

[/ QUOTE ]
Yeah, I was disappointed by that, too. In fact, they didn't even bother putting ticket amounts for the price and just skipped straight to dollars on a lot of the toys. Apparently, a buck is worth 100 tickets. I forgot to mention this in my OP. This does render the +EV calculations moot, because each token costs something like $0.25 - it's actually less because they give you bonus tokens when you buy them in $10, $25, or $40 packs. This means you could either get 25 tickets worth for your quarter, or you could chance it at skeeball and get maybe 15 and that's the best game in the house.

meep_42
07-19-2005, 05:29 PM
You were actually expecting any of the ticket options to be +EV?

-d

sleight
07-19-2005, 05:43 PM
I really have no room to rip on CeC's ticket scam since my girlfriend got us into the adult version/money pit that is Dave n' Busters. I think I have over 10K+ tickets stored on my card which will maybe get me a nice Hello Kitty notepad, a crazy troll for my pinky, and possibly an Iced Out(tm) brand necklace (I'm saving for the 3 inch BW television). With the amount of money that place takes in it should have the 8 player version of every game in the goddamn world. Oh wait, I forgot step 3: Profit.

YourFoxyGrandma
07-19-2005, 05:58 PM
Do they still have the animatronic robot rock band?