Dear Bison. July 2005. Something licked this way comes.

[bisonbison]

What this thread is for: three (http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/showflat.php?Cat=&Number=2674911&page=&view=&sb=5& o=&fpart=1&vc=1), two (http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/showflat.php?Cat=&Number=2284346&page=&view=&sb=5& o=&fpart=1&vc=1), one (http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/showflat.php?Cat=&Number=2118638&page=&view=&sb=5& o=&fpart=1&vc=1).

I am smarter, wiser and more recently back from a wedding in Nantucket than you, so ask (in the form of 'Dear Bison,'), and ye shall receive.

I can't help but help.

[mr pink]

dear bisonbison,

there's this girl at work that i'm kind of into. got any suggestions for a good first date?

- pink

[M2d]

dear bison,
why did BigSteve leave?

thank you,
M2d

[xLukex]

Dear bisonbison,

What is my girlfriend planning for my birthday?

Regards,

xLukex

[pearljam]

Dear Bison,

Is there any way to get air conditioner into a room without windows big enough for a window untit? I dont care how much it costs, can this be done?

[bisonbison]

Dear Pink,

Dinner is pretty key.

Beyond that it depends on her. Movies are low-key and don't require you to make hours of conversation. Window shopping (if you go out to dinner at some sort of downtown place) is always good if you do feel like you can charm her.

The basics: ask her out to dinner, ask her if there's anywhere she'd like to go, pay.

[bisonbison]

Dear M2d,

There are a couple of equally unimportant reasons why he may have left:

A) he was a one-joke gimmick and he got tired of it.
B) he wasn't a gimmick and he decided 2+2 wasn't worth his time.
C) he was a joke or not and decided to try again on his main account or some new one.

He'll either be back or he won't.

[Tanach]

Dear Bison,

Is a 17 year old (girl) too young to go out with a 21 yo?

~jack

[bisonbison]

Dear xLukex,

That depends.

If you're in high school, she's planning some sort of psuedo-seductive technique she learned in cosmo that'll leave you more than vaguely bored until she actually puts her mouth on your penis.

If you're in college, she's planning to get you both drunk and laid.

If you're out of college, she's going to get you something that will make your own pathetic gifts to her seem like the last minute crapgrabs they are.

Or visa versa.

[bisonbison]

Dear Pearljam,

All you need is a method for venting the exhaust. I imagine such a thing exists. Call Home Depot.

[bisonbison]

Dear Jack,

She's not too young. He's not too old.

That doesn't make it right.

[Tanach]

[ QUOTE ]
That doesn't make it right.

[/ QUOTE ]

Does that mean it's wrong?

I don't C Y.

~Jack

[morgan180]

Dear Bison,

I am 29, I own my own mortgage business with my brother-in-law, wife, and best friend. My brother and his fiancee also work here. The company is doing exceptionally well, however the talk of housing bubbles, rates rising, etc. weighs on me heavily. I worry about what the future will bring and what I can't control. I constantly have a knot in my stomach and am always stressed which is very unhealthy.

Is this because I am just getting used to being an entreprenuer after working at a 'normal' job, a confidence issue, or???

Morgan180

Dear bison
How do I stop midi files from playing in my browser?

Thank you

[bisonbison]

Dear Morgan,

We all have levels of risk that we're willing to tolerate, and, frankly, self-employment (or small business ownership) is one of those very situations that exposes you to a lot of risk.

It probably is, in part, a question of adjusting to the additional risk, but there may just be a threshold beyond which you are uncomfortable.

How far into the future can you project your expenses or liabilities or secured income payments? How well funded are you for a potential tough quarter, half or fiscal year? Are the financial obligations spread equitably among the four of you who own the business? Are they spelled out explicitly in binding contracts?

What is it that you worry about when you get the sudden nervous craps? What part of the edifice are you afraid is going to fail first?

[bisonbison]

Dear Gandhi,

Stop visiting crappy web pages.

[BigBaitsim (milo)]

[ QUOTE ]
Dear xLukex,

That depends.

If you're in high school, she's planning some sort of psuedo-seductive technique she learned in cosmo that'll leave you more than vaguely bored until she actually puts her mouth on your penis.

If you're in college, she's planning to get you both drunk and laid.

If you're out of college, she's going to get you something that will make your own pathetic gifts to her seem like the last minute crapgrabs they are.

Or visa versa.

[/ QUOTE ]

The Bison is wise (especially about the "after college" one).

[mr pink]

dinner seems pretty lame though. everyone goes out to eat. she's only 19 and i'm 21, i kinda wanna do something cooler than dinner/movie, ya nah mean?

[IndieMatty]

Dear Bison,

What happened to the lady from Nantucket?

-M

[chabibi]

Dear Bison,
I recently started seeing a very cute, sweet, kind hearted girl. She works at a daycare and is volunteering at an overnight camp for kids who are terminally ill with cancer.

I, on the other hand am a sleaze. I dont have a job, I play poker and do other equally sleazy things for money. The only charity work I’ve ever done was for court-ordered community service

How long do I have until she realizes I am a scumbag and leaves me for someone better?

[Bradyams]

Dear Bison,

My new aunt who just married into the family is a hot young Brazilian, and speaks very little English. Is it ok to put the moves on her?

Thank you,
Brady

[morgan180]

Dear Bison,

Thank you for the response - those questions will definitely help me define and mitigate my concerns and risks.

Morgan

[MrWookie47]

Dear Bison,

I have pretty much exhausted the supply of available women in my immediate work and social circles. They're either exes, engaged, girl-goyles, or not at all interested in me. I get out to bars, but the places I frequent are jazz/blues clubs that draw a crowd about twice my age, making them less than optimal for meeting potential dates. My question is this: Is online dating a good option? Is there a good chance that Mary from Minneapolis reaally is Mary, and not Bubba the 250 lb. ex-con from the Bronx? Do women they match you with actually match? Any sites you'd recommend? Or should I just instead focus on expanding into a new social circle (new bars, new hobbies, or whatever)?

--Wookie

[bisonbison]

Dear chabibi,

There's nothing sleazy about poker. If that's what you do for money, then that's your work. If you're up front about all the other 'sleazy' whatever, you're happy and you treat her well, then that's pretty much what she picked you for anyway.

There's no reason this can't last until she sleeps with your best friend.

[bisonbison]

Dear Brady.

Yes.

[bisonbison]

Stay away from Craigslist unless you like dating married men.

Other sites are gonna depend as much on your city of choice as on their own national reputation. So, yeah, get some more hobbies and tell your friends to actively try to set you up.

[bisonbison]

Dear Jack,

It doesn't make it wrong, but I haven't been too impressed with any of the 21 year olds dating 17 year olds that I've ever run across.

That's it. Either it matters or it doesn't. I can't say.

[Bulldog]

Dear Bison,

Two-parter:

Which color Starburst is best?

Do you love the Dom?

[siccjay]

[ QUOTE ]


The basics: ask her out to dinner, ask her if there's anywhere she'd like to go, pay.

[/ QUOTE ]

Only bad advice I've ever seen Bison give.

[Cunning Linguist]

Dear Bison,
My ex-girlfriend is slowly gravitating back to me and i'm not sure what the best way to handle it is. I want this girl back pretty badly, and in the past two weeks it is becoming increasingly obvious that she wants me back as well. She will tell me that she wants us to be back together, but that she doesn't want to rush into things and that she still needs some time alone. Although I do want her back, I am fine with taking things slow.

At the same time, she is getting more and more aggressive with her advances towards me. I was fine with the low level stuff at first, but the other day she wanted to have sex. Clearly this girl wants to have her cake and eat it too.

How do I handle her advances?
What is the optimal play, keeping in mind that while I want the sex, i'd prefer to get back together.

[touchfaith]

Dear Bison,

Could you live without a refrigarator for 11 months?

[Piz0wn0reD!!!!!!]

Dear Bison,

What are you doing in your avatar?

[Tron]

Dear Bison,

I recently started a job through a temp agency as an "Office Assistant" which is basically a receptionist, but without the title, so they can occasionally give me non-receptionist jobs.

It seems to me that I have far exceeded the expectations of the company I am working for. I constantly find myself correcting the previous temp's mistakes, and am the Go-To Guy for most computer issues. Just recently I put together a 30+ page PowerPoint presentation for investors of the company.

Bottom line is, I think I am worth more than I am making. How should I go about getting mo' money? Should I ask the owner of the company, or should I go through the temp agency and ask them for a bigger cut?

Also, the company I'm working for seems very reluctant to pay me overtime... They would rather have me shift my hours around than pay me extra... Any recommendations for getting around that?

Thanks a lot.

[imported_CaseClosed326]

Dear Bison,
To be honest this is a weird question to ask, and it seems like you are the best person to ask this question. My girlfriend has been in a bad mood for what seems like months now. Barely wants to hang out with friends, and when we go out she does not talk to people, and is a jerk to me a lot. I don't think I am a jerk to here, so let's just assume it is not my fault. I have tried to be there for here and try to cheer here up, but there seems like there is no light at the end of the tunnel. I want to be with her, but she is such a drag all the time it starting to get to me. Is there any easy way to deal with this? Or is it just a year and half relationship breaking down a slow natural painful death?

Thanks.

[TheWorstPlayer]

Dear Bison,

I have a friend who is Indian, but he is dating a White American girl. All of his friends and family disapprove of the relationship despite the fact that she is a wonderful person and goes out of her way to learn about their rituals and customs and to try to fit in. He also tries to be accomodating and to protect her from the existent prejudice and also to encourage his friends and family to be more understanding. They are becoming somewhat more accepting, but I think that he is still having a very hard time knowing that his relationship is causing a lot of pain and disapproval in those he loves the most (second most?). Any advice? Do you think it will work out? Should he give up the relationship and just resign himself to trying to find an Indian girl he can love? He is in his mid-late twenties, btw, if that matters. So is she.

TWP

[Mr. Zero]

Dear Bison:

Have you read the thread on that "Kwazar" dude allegedly getting into an accident? Here. (http://http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/showflat.php?Cat=&Number=2859637&page=0&view=colla psed&sb=5&o=14&fpart=1&vc=1)

Per some fantastic 2+2 detective work, it seems that his girlfriend (or someone posing as his girlfriend) might be running a scam to get donations since Mr. Kwazar has no health insurance. Nothing is conclusive, but there are red flags everywhere.

OOTers ruined his poker forum, and although it was hysterical, I felt some guilt afterwards when he had a meltdown and shut his whole forum down. If he's fraudulently soliciting donations, that guilt would be alleviated.

When you get a chance, read the thread. Scam or no?

[BWebb]

Dear Internet Celebrity,

Where in California should I relocate? I currently live in the hell known as the Central Valley.


Thanks,

BWebb

[Tanach]

Dear Bison,

Thank you for responding. I agree that the avg 21 yo dating a 17yo is probably sketchy. I don't want to be one of those guys.

I'm not trying to use her if that's what you were wondering; I actually want to find out if she would be a good long-term prospect. She seems mature and intellegent, so we'll see.

I should probably hold off on trying to hit it. I actually would feel bad if I hurt her.

You seem like a very level-headed person, and I just wondered your opinion on the matter.

Thanks again,

~Jack

[irishpint]

Dear Bison,

If you could be made MTV style, what would you be?

Sincerely,
IP

[MoreWineII]

Dear Bison,

What the [censored] is with people who shop at Wal-mart??!?

Thanks,

MW2

[DemonDeac]

Dear Bison,
What is "average"? /images/graemlins/smirk.gif

[Cracker]

Dear Bison,
War - what is it good for?

[krazyace5]

[ QUOTE ]
Dear Bison,

Is there any way to get air conditioner into a room without windows big enough for a window untit? I dont care how much it costs, can this be done?

[/ QUOTE ]


Actually I have seen a portable air conditioning unit by Sunbeam, 12,000 btus, rolls from room to room and has an exhaust like a dryer has with a small panel that goes in your window. Think it was in the $300 range.

[Edge34]

Dear bison,

One of my oldest friends is dating a real ball-breaker. Its gotten to the point where she was calling him at 3 AM while we were in Vegas a week and a half ago, wondering why he hadn't called her to check in or some other BS. For some reason, he puts up with this. The epitome of P-Whipped.

How do we get this guy to see the light? Or do we....

[nothumb]

Dear bison,

I am considering leaving my job at a prominent child care agency. Said agency is not treating me very well, I despise my boss, and the agency (not my department or myself) is currently under very serious investigation.

There is a smaller agency very close to home that I can most likely get a job at. However, there may be a significant pay cut. (~15% or so). I would be more likely to have a job directly related to my interests, though, and possibly room for advancement or tuition support.

It seems good to me. But I'm already poor and I might get more poor. What do you think?

NT

[chabibi]

Dear bison,
I am currently adding a new bedroom in my basement. The drywall of in one portion meets at 135 degree angle. Due to the nature of the angle I could not place a stud right at the corner. How can I attach the corner bead to the external joint if I can not screw it in to any stud?

[bisonbison]

Dear Cun,

If you actually want to get back together, the optimal play is making her wait to have sex.

[bisonbison]

Dear Thin,

Yes.

[bisonbison]

Dear Tron,

When you took the temp position, part of what you agreed to was being underpaid and potentially overworked for the priviledge of not going through a rigorous interview process and the joy of starting work right about now. Plus, when I was a temp, I think it was against the terms of my contract to get paid overtime.

That having been said, and understanding that if you're going to leave to go back to school or whatever you have a lot less leverage, feel free to schedule a sit down with your boss or manager and say "I really enjoy working here, but I don't think that the pay I'm getting is comensurate with the work I'm doing, and I'm considering leaving. But if you'd consider turning this into a permanent position..."

Then they have to contact your agency cause that's part of the contract they signed.

[bisonbison]

Dear Case,

If you have mutual friends that actually know and like you, I'd talk to them about how much this is going on in the rest of her non-you life.

It's possible she's lost interest in your relationship. She could be depressed. She might be having a bad summer.

[bisonbison]

Dear TWP,

The most honest thing he can do (though by no means the easiest) is to opt out of the conflict.

"Mom, Dad, Aunt Charu, etc., I love this girl and I want to be together with her. She's a very good thing in my life, and I hope to be able to share that with you, but I'm not going to defend her or myself to you anymore. If you insist on making it an issue then there's going to be very little we can talk about, and I don't want that to happen because I love you all as well."

[morgan180]

Dear Bison,

My wife can't cook. I'm no good either. Help.

Morgan180

[bisonbison]

Dear Zero,

Scam.

[bisonbison]

Dear Bwebb,

Get out of the armpit of california. Honestly, LA, SD, SF, SJ, Oaktown. Whateva. Get out of Sactown/Fresno/Lodi/Visalia for the love of God.

[bisonbison]

Dear IP,

I have no idea what this means.

[bisonbison]

Dear Wine,

Walmart is cheap. Many people don't have much disposable income.

[bisonbison]

Dear Deac,

It depends.

[bisonbison]

Dear Cracker,

Destruction. That is all war is good for. Understand that there may be circumstances under which destruction is the best of bad alternatives.

[bisonbison]

Dear Edge,

Well, because he's whipped, you making fun of him for being whipped is just gonna result in the same kind of passive-aggressive nodding and whatever that works with his girl.

If he's pissed or sad after she calls to check up and complain when she knows he's out having fun, I'd say "you should ask her not to do that" and proceed from there.

[imported_anacardo]

Dear Bison:

For about the last six weeks or so, I've basically been unable to get any decent sleep. I invariably wake up exhausted, with the puffy-feeling, bruised eyesockets of chronic fatigue. No amount of sleep makes me feel rested. Going back to sleep is no help. Jumping out of bed the instant I wake up leaves me desperate for a nap within a few hours.

I exercise every day, eat decently, take multivitamins, get outdoors and otherwise maintain a reasonable lifestyle for a struggling young grinder who likes to be alone for at least eight hours a day. I've even taken pains to improve my Texan slump-posture, which has made my back feel better but otherwise hasn't changed anything.

Emotionally I'm in a pretty good place; I certainly don't feel depressed, though I could stand to get laid.

My semi-quack of a GP is stumped. He'd just as soon throw blood tests at me until he finds something, and as I'm without insurance for the forseeable future, I just can't afford that kind of labwork until I'm pulling in a stable income at higher limits.

Basically, I've done the worst thing a poker player can do; I've developed a vague, debilitating medical condition that defies easy diagnosis, that will cost a pretty decent chunk of change to pin down.

What's my move?

[bisonbison]

thumb,

It sounds like you've already made up your mind.

Make out a monthly budget. See what 15% off looks like. Then take the other job if it becomes available.

[irishpint]

[ QUOTE ]
Dear IP,

I have no idea what this means.

[/ QUOTE ]

watch [censored] tv!!
someone help him? it's a show where they ask to be 'made' into something. one wanted to be a rapper, one a mack and one a snowboarder. duh.

[bisonbison]

Dear Chabibi,

Does this bedroom have windows? Cause honestly, who's gonna sleep in the basement?

[bisonbison]

Dear Morgan,

Go to book store. Buy a small cookbook with pictures of every meal. Pick a cuisine you both like. Alternate days where you'll cook. Cook 2 or 4 times per week, making your way through the book.

It's how I learned to cook.

[bisonbison]

Dear Ana,

Find cheap, medical insurance. Get bloodwork done. Get better.

Sorry, that's really what it boils down to. You're gonna have to find a way to make the money to spend the money so you can get back to earning the money.

[ZeeJustin]

Dear Bison,

'sup?

-ZJ

[bisonbison]

Dear ZJ,

Nahmuch.

[fimbulwinter]

Just got out of long relationship. probably getting into a very short one soon. dictate etiquette for a 4 week summer fling.

fim

[bisonbison]

Dear fim,

Have fun. Wrap it up. Careful with the love word.

[JaBlue]

dear bisonbison there is a girl that i've been getting with. That is, doing pretty much everything but [censored]. Anyway, she doesn't call me which makes me wonder what the hell is going on because generally girls that are into me call me. You know? Sure you do. Anyway, this is pissing me off and these games are weak, but I still like the girl so I'd at least like to see whatsup even though I'm not [censored] her. How can I resolve this issue (if possible without making it awkward)?

[Lawrence Ng]

Dear Bison,

Should I have chicken or shrimp for dinner tommorow?

Lawrence

[TimM]

Dear Bison,

I am currently paying what I think is an absurd amount for cable TV. I like to watch movies between poker sessions, and it's convenient to have all of the pay channels with On Demand. Other than watching a movie, I don't turn on the TV at all. Should I just get NetFlix and dump a lot of these premium channels? I could save $30/mo by getting rid of Showtime and Cinemax. Another $50/mo by getting rid of HBO, Starz, and Encore. Is NetFlix fast enough to get me over 20 new movies a month? What about problems with the discs (skips, scratches, etc.)?

The one good thing about cable is that I will often watch all of the movies I have been meaning to see very quickly, and then I watch others I wouldn't have thought of seeing, and turn out to enjoy most of them too.

<rant>It just seems nuts to pay so much, plus there are movies I want to see and who knows when they will ever show them. And I refuse to pay even more to watch one the paid on-demand movies. I don't know why a fully electronic service is so much more expensive than shipping stupid little plastic discs back and forth all over the country, but I think it sucks.</rant>

Thank you for your time.

- TimM

[Chobohoya]

Dear Bison,

I graduated this year. I live in Florida, I am engaged, and we want to live here. We want to get married soon, but were waiting to hear from Tulane Law School to plan things. Just last week we gave up on Tulane and decided to get started here. We have great families who want to be involved, so there's quite a bit of planning to do. However, today I was accepted to Tulane Law School. Should I go there this year, and probably transfer to Florida, or wait a year and apply to Florida in the fall (for fall 2006)? Thanks a lot for taking the time to read and answer.

[RyGreen18]

Dear Bison,

What action does a woman need to take to deserve to be defined as a slut?

-Ryan

[Vavavoom]

Dear Bison,

I'm about to go on a one-week holiday with some guys from my football (soccer) team to Malia (Crete)...... I have a girlfriend who I have been with for 4 months....

Should the situation arise when I'm abroad, what should I do...? I plan to employ the "what goes on tour, stays on tour" ? Is this a doomed strategy........

Regards

Vavavoom

[kipin]

Dear Bison,

Do you like my new avatar?

[Chairman Wood]

Dear Bison,
I'm thinking about joining the Navy or moving to Argentina.

1)What should I do?

2) Does it matter?

3) What would you do if you had to pick?

4) Are you happy the hockey players are going back to work?

[bugstud]

Dear Bison,

What gimmick/troll account on 2+2 is most annoying to you? Correspondingly, are there any that make you chuckle?

[OrangeHeat]

[ QUOTE ]
Dear Bison:

For about the last six weeks or so, I've basically been unable to get any decent sleep. I invariably wake up exhausted, with the puffy-feeling, bruised eyesockets of chronic fatigue. No amount of sleep makes me feel rested. Going back to sleep is no help. Jumping out of bed the instant I wake up leaves me desperate for a nap within a few hours.

I exercise every day, eat decently, take multivitamins, get outdoors and otherwise maintain a reasonable lifestyle for a struggling young grinder who likes to be alone for at least eight hours a day. I've even taken pains to improve my Texan slump-posture, which has made my back feel better but otherwise hasn't changed anything.

Emotionally I'm in a pretty good place; I certainly don't feel depressed, though I could stand to get laid.

My semi-quack of a GP is stumped. He'd just as soon throw blood tests at me until he finds something, and as I'm without insurance for the forseeable future, I just can't afford that kind of labwork until I'm pulling in a stable income at higher limits.

Basically, I've done the worst thing a poker player can do; I've developed a vague, debilitating medical condition that defies easy diagnosis, that will cost a pretty decent chunk of change to pin down.

What's my move?

[/ QUOTE ]


Ask your doctor to send you for a sleep test!!

I went through all this type of stuff and it turns out I was always tired because I had sleep apnea. Basically when you sleep you stop breathing a couple times a minute and your body never reaches the deepest state of sleep where it recharges.

It is a one night test and well worth it. Most physicians fail to think of this for some reason.

Orange

[RunDownHouse]

[ QUOTE ]
Basically, I've done the worst thing a poker player can do; I've developed a vague, debilitating medical condition that defies easy diagnosis, that will cost a pretty decent chunk of change to pin down.

[/ QUOTE ]

I'd say your worst move was not having health insurance.

[2planka]

Dear Bison,

I found a hornet in my bathroom the other morning. It was hanging out in the shower. I squished it with a bar of soap. I found another similar hornet in my bedroom last night, buzzing around outside the bathroom door. I am allergic to bee stings, but I am roughly 1,000,000 times larger than these little buggers and two hornets does not a swarm make. Should I wait and just hope they go away or should I call the Orkin man post haste?

[sfer]

[ QUOTE ]
Dear Bison,

Could you live without a refrigarator for 11 months?

[/ QUOTE ]

It's harder to miss when it's spelled right.

[megantw]

Dear Bison,
My boyfriend and I recently learned how to play Gin Rummy. We initially played online, but started to play with actual cards a few nights ago. We've been playing a few games a day. He's been reading about the strategy and understood the scoring before I figured it out.

He's only won one game so far.

Should I let him win a few games to boost his confidence, give him a few pointers, or keep pwning him every night? I don't want him to stop playing games with me.

Thanks,

Megan

[sfer]

I hate you.

[kenberman]

Dear Bison,
I've recently realized that reading non-poker books can be fun. I felt obliged to read "The Da Vinci Code", and I liked it, so I read "Angels and Demons". I enjoyed this genre, so I read Steve Berry's "The Romanov Prophecy" and "The Amber Room".

My question is, should I expand out from the "quasi historical based fiction" genre?

Either way, who should my next author be?

Regards,
Ken

[sfer]

[ QUOTE ]
My question is, should I expand out from the "quasi historical based fiction" genre?

[/ QUOTE ]

I liked The Bridge On the Drina by Ivo Andric.

[megantw]

Aww, I hate you, too.

<3333

[jakethebake]

[ QUOTE ]
Aww, I hate you, too.

<3333

[/ QUOTE ]

HaHaHaHaHa!

[bisonbison]

Dear Jablue,

You're really into this girl (though not in a penis in vagina way, eh? get it?!) and you don't know if she's into you.

Is there anything you guys do other than make out?

[bisonbison]

Dear Lawrence,

Meh.

[bisonbison]

Dear Tim,

I am in the same boat. Netflix, even with 5 movies at once, is probably not going to be fast enough to make up for canceling all those channels.

Essentially, the question is, why does $30 or $80 per month matter to you? Is that impacting your savings or other stuff you'd like to buy, or do you just feel like a bit of a chump for paying the going rate?

[bisonbison]

Dear Chob,

If you've got a job you like right now, I don't see the harm in waiting a year and going to a FL school.

[bisonbison]

Dear Ryan,

I don't call women sluts. Cause honestly, why would I do that?

[bisonbison]

Dear Vava,

Your girlfriend goes on a week-long trip with her friends to Marseilles and while there bumps uglies three times with a french guy she met on the beach.

Do you feel like dumping her?

[bisonbison]

Dear kipin,

Not particularly.

[bisonbison]

Dear Wood,

1) Go to Argentina.

2) Yes.

3) Go to Argentina.

4) Yes.

[bisonbison]

Dear Bugstud,

I try not to care and am largely successful.

[bisonbison]

Kilgore,

Do you live in a house or an apartment? Take a walk around your windows and look (from a distance) at all your eaves and under your decks. If you live in an apartment you might as well ask.

If you live in a house and see anything odd, get a quote.

[bisonbison]

Megan,

Wendell will keep playing with you whether you beat him or not cause he is hypercompetitive and not insignificantly dumb.

[bisonbison]

Dear Ken,

Read Catch-22.

[Ghazban]

Dear Bison,

I'm pretty good at almost everything I attempt (games, sports, careers, etc.) but not extraordinarily good at anything (that is, I catch on quick to things and often can learn and apply the basics to new endeavors within a short time but never reach that "holy crap, you're really good at _____" phase). What do I need to do to get from 'pretty good' to 'extremely good' at something? Am I destined to forever be a jack-of-all-trades and master of none?

[megantw]

Dear Bison,

I don't know Wendell.

My boyfriend is indeed hypercompetitive, but he is in no way dumb. I forgot to mention that this is the second game that I've won regularly while playing with him. We learned how to play Palace about a month ago at the same time, but he didn't start winning until I was becoming bored with the game. I don't want him to get discouraged.

Perhaps you have an idea for a different game we could learn together.

[sfer]

Dear Megan,

Tapper.
Ms Pacman.

Wendell.

[megantw]

Oh, I see how it is.

How about Centipede?

I can't wait to play Gin Rummy tonight so I can see the tears well in your eyes when I knock with Gin and you still have face cards as deadwood.

[bisonbison]

Dear Ghaz,

There's not a significant difference between the ability needed to grasp a skill and to improve in said skill over time. The difference is effort, and effort comes from interest.

If there's something you want to get really good at, you're going to have to be interested enough to invest the effort. That's it. Don't worry about it.

[bisonbison]

Dear Megan,

Wendell is Dave, and Dave, Wendell.

He's a sharp guy, but being hypercompetitive makes him dumb, cause he's actually less interested in learning the game than in beating you at it, so he continually fails to learn.

[sfer]

Are you bringing up tears? Tell the truth.

[Dominic]

[ QUOTE ]
Dear Pink,

Dinner is pretty key.

Beyond that it depends on her. Movies are low-key and don't require you to make hours of conversation. Window shopping (if you go out to dinner at some sort of downtown place) is always good if you do feel like you can charm her.

The basics: ask her out to dinner, ask her if there's anywhere she'd like to go, pay.

[/ QUOTE ]

sorry, horrible advice.

dinner is okay, but a movie? On a first date? Gee, let's sit next to a person I want to get to know better in total silence for two hours. What a great idea!

A movie should never be part of a date until the two of you are comfortable enough with one another to hold hands, snuggle up against one another, etc.

My advice is a casual dinner - someplace like a cool family Italian restuarant - and then maybe go to an expensive restaurant for dessert or coffee...or an ice creame parlor...or a hip bookstore...someplace you two can talk.

[bisonbison]

Yeah, the movie part was dumb.

[sfer]

Dear Peter,

I stopped smoking pretty much immediately after I got back from Vegas. Did you?

Dave

[bisonbison]

Dear Dave,

I quit the sunday following, as planned. 3+ weeks, no smokes, no problems. The first week I had some dreams about buying cigarettes but since then, nothing. And I've even been drunk in the presence of friendly smokers and had no issues.

The key to quitting is actually wanting to quit. It makes most other things irrelevant.

[renodoc]

Dear Bison,

The Lake Tahoe Shakespeare Festival is performing the Scottish play this year (I'm going on Thursday). Thread title? Coincidence or unseen magical witch power?

Regards,

Dr. Freeze

[asofel]

Dear Bison,

Where was the wedding held on Nantucket? Go to any memorable restaurants? Haven't been back in a while, wondering how it was.

[lil_o]

Dear Bison,

Is there a specific number of days I should wait when calling a woman after receiving digits for:
a) When I ask for their #?
b) When they volunteer their # without asking?

Thanks!

[jakethebake]

[ QUOTE ]
Dear Bison,

Is there a specific number of days I should wait when calling a woman after receiving digits for:
a) When I ask for their #?
b) When they volunteer their # without asking?

Thanks!

[/ QUOTE ]

Dear, God! How many times do we have to answer this one? /images/graemlins/tongue.gif

[razor]

Asked and answered (http://tinyurl.com/7ulv3)

[sfer]

Dear Bison,

What would be the best way for me to get you back for spraying my chips around in Triple Draw?

Will bukkake graduate from college? Before he's 30? From the school in which he is currently enrolled?

Are you going to be around from 8/24-8/31 when I'm in the Bay Area to play at Bay 101?

Can you convince Megan to start playing a game that I can win?

Wendell

[bisonbison]

Dear Doc,

I was speaking (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Synchronicity) directly to you for reasons none of us understand. Or not.

[bisonbison]

Dear Asofel,

The wedding was on the beach 10 feet to the north of Brant Point lighthouse. Restaurants? The White Elephant had an incredibly hot bartendress, and Sfoglia had good food.

It was awesome and packed and nice.

[bisonbison]

Dear Wendell,

The best way is to sit with me at the 2/4 at Bay 101 and make me play every hand to at least the flop and straddle every UTG until I'm down a rack and a half.

Bakku will eventually graduate, from his current school before he's 30. There's a goddamn ringing endorsement, eh?

Yes.

Can I? Probably. Will I? Probably not.

[JaBlue]

Dear BisonBison,

it goes further than making out, but not to home base. You know, not a penis vagina kind of thing. More like a penis mouth thing, etc. thing. I would like to stick it in her bajina.

We hang out too, but we aren't dating. We also have a lot of mutual friends (how I met her) so a lot of time the hanging out is a kind of group thing, which is fun but sucks at the same time. I guess that's where most of the confusion comes from but I am totally clueless.

Like I said the big wierd spot is where I am the one always initiating (that is, the calling part, not necessarily the messing around) and its just very wierd for me to not have the girl be calling me.

PS you rule

[asofel]

[ QUOTE ]
Dear BisonBison,

it goes further than making out, but not to home base. You know, not a penis vagina kind of thing. More like a penis mouth thing, etc. thing. I would like to stick it in her bajina.

We hang out too, but we aren't dating. We also have a lot of mutual friends (how I met her) so a lot of time the hanging out is a kind of group thing, which is fun but sucks at the same time. I guess that's where most of the confusion comes from but I am totally clueless.

Like I said the big wierd spot is where I am the one always initiating (that is, the calling part, not necessarily the messing around) and its just very wierd for me to not have the girl be calling me.

PS you rule

[/ QUOTE ]

pull back. As soon as you're not making all the moves, she'll either start calling/initiating, or you'll realize its just not there.

[megantw]

You're the one who chose Gin Rummy.

I want to learn to play Bridge, but I'm worried about having you as a partner. I like to win.

[jakethebake]

[ QUOTE ]
Dear BisonBison,

it goes further than making out, but not to home base. You know, not a penis vagina kind of thing. More like a penis mouth thing, etc. thing. I would like to stick it in her bajina.

We hang out too, but we aren't dating. We also have a lot of mutual friends (how I met her) so a lot of time the hanging out is a kind of group thing, which is fun but sucks at the same time. I guess that's where most of the confusion comes from but I am totally clueless.

Like I said the big wierd spot is where I am the one always initiating (that is, the calling part, not necessarily the messing around) and its just very wierd for me to not have the girl be calling me.

PS you rule

[/ QUOTE ]

Tao of Steve.

1-2-3

[asofel]

[ QUOTE ]
Dear Asofel,

The wedding was on the beach 10 feet to the north of Brant Point lighthouse. Restaurants? The White Elephant had an incredibly hot bartendress, and Sfoglia had good food.

It was awesome and packed and nice.

[/ QUOTE ]

Nice. I used to live down the street from Brant Point. Cute and little...not the same view as Sankaty, but i'm sure it worked out well.

Ahh, the White Elephant. People don't even realize how hot the avg bartender/waitress becomes in the summer on Nantucket, especially if you go to an upscale place. You go out at all? Rose & Crown maybe?

[SuitedSixes]

[ QUOTE ]

Perhaps you have an idea for a different game we could learn together.

[/ QUOTE ]

Cribbage.

[nolanfan34]

[ QUOTE ]
You're the one who chose Gin Rummy.

I want to learn to play Bridge, but I'm worried about having you as a partner. I like to win.

[/ QUOTE ]

I told you guys, backgammon. You can win, and Dave can blame the roll of the dice as an excuse. Perfect for everyone.

[jakethebake]

[ QUOTE ]
You're the one who chose Gin Rummy.

I want to learn to play Bridge, but I'm worried about having you as a partner. I like to win.

[/ QUOTE ]

Wow. Two hyper-competitive people. Scary.

[JaBlue]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Dear BisonBison,

it goes further than making out, but not to home base. You know, not a penis vagina kind of thing. More like a penis mouth thing, etc. thing. I would like to stick it in her bajina.

We hang out too, but we aren't dating. We also have a lot of mutual friends (how I met her) so a lot of time the hanging out is a kind of group thing, which is fun but sucks at the same time. I guess that's where most of the confusion comes from but I am totally clueless.

Like I said the big wierd spot is where I am the one always initiating (that is, the calling part, not necessarily the messing around) and its just very wierd for me to not have the girl be calling me.

PS you rule

[/ QUOTE ]

Tao of Steve.

1-2-3

[/ QUOTE ]

what?

[college_boy]

Dear Bison,
Slightly off topic.. How much longer will the games be good?

[pinebull]

be desireless, be excellent, be gone....

[SuitedSixes]

[ QUOTE ]
More like a penis mouth thing, etc.

[/ QUOTE ]

Be happy. Don't rock the boat. But most of all, be happy.

[SuitedSixes]

Dear Bison,

A) Why two Bisons?
B) What really happened to KWAZAR?

-Sixes

[wulfheir]

When I was 23, my 17 year old GF moved in with me. That was 6 years ago, we are getting married in 3 weeks and both us and our families couldn't be happier.

[jakethebake]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Tao of Steve.

1-2-3

[/ QUOTE ]

what?

[/ QUOTE ]

1 - Be desireless.

2 - Be excellent in her presence.

3 - Be unavailable.

[meep_42]

[ QUOTE ]
A) Why two Bisons?

[/ QUOTE ]

Asked and answered, check out one of the old threads.

-d

[megantw]

Thanks!

[megantw]

I'm fond of card games, but I'll give backgammon a try.

I like your location.

[SuitedSixes]

[ QUOTE ]
Thanks!

[/ QUOTE ]

You are welcome.

Cool things about cribbage:

1) You have cards AND a board with pieces you move.
2) It has it own fun language, "Fifteen two, four, six. Run 6. Pairs 4. Nobs 1. 17."
3) If someone stupid (like your boyfriend) misses his points you can take them.
4) If you need a challenge other than your boyfriend you can play on the internet.

[TimM]

[ QUOTE ]
Essentially, the question is, why does $30 or $80 per month matter to you? Is that impacting your savings or other stuff you'd like to buy, or do you just feel like a bit of a chump for paying the going rate?

[/ QUOTE ]

If NetFlix were doable for this, paying for cable would feel like a waste. There is no real impact except that money saved is money earned. If I were smart I would trade in my car for a much cheaper one, since I only drive a few times a week. I guess not having a real job makes me more conscious of my monthly nut.

[KaneKungFu123]

nt

[mr pink]

how's the zoo sound during the day, then dinner afterwards?

im so freakin in it's ridiculous.

[nolanfan34]

[ QUOTE ]
I'm fond of card games, but I'll give backgammon a try.

[/ QUOTE ]

Yeah, the lack of cards is a strike against it, but it's more than made up for by the times that you'll strand two of Dave's pieces up on the bar, after setting up a nice defense in your inner table. Nothing more pwning than watching someone needing to roll a specific number, and it taking 4 or 5 times to get it.

[Luv2DriveTT]

[ QUOTE ]
Dear Bison,

What would be the best way for me to get you back for spraying my chips around in Triple Draw?

[/ QUOTE ]

And I must say, it was quite a magnificent spray, unlike any others I have ever seen. I'll let others elaborate.

Bison: you are welcome into any Triple Draw game I am ever in /images/graemlins/smile.gif

TT /images/graemlins/club.gif

[Luv2DriveTT]

Dear Bison:

Congrats. What will you quit next?

TT /images/graemlins/club.gif

[ QUOTE ]
Dear Dave,

I quit the sunday following, as planned. 3+ weeks, no smokes, no problems. The first week I had some dreams about buying cigarettes but since then, nothing. And I've even been drunk in the presence of friendly smokers and had no issues.

The key to quitting is actually wanting to quit. It makes most other things irrelevant.

[/ QUOTE ]

[Exsubmariner]

Dear Bison,
Can you lease explain to me (or point me in the direction of a post where you explain)why you chose such fine distinctions in your pokertracker player ratings between the smiley face, frowny face, money bags, and eagle? How does this model hold up in identifying no limit winning players?
Thank you,
X

[Luv2DriveTT]

[ QUOTE ]
Dear Bison,
Can you lease explain to me (or point me in the direction of a post where you explain)why you chose such fine distinctions in your pokertracker player ratings between the smiley face, frowny face, money bags, and eagle? How does this model hold up in identifying no limit winning players?
Thank you,
X

[/ QUOTE ]

I am laughing so hard now that I have tears in my eyes.

TT /images/graemlins/club.gif

[TimM]

Even better is when you have only a couple of points covered, and he keeps rolling only those numbers as you keep sending more and more of his men up to the bar.

[Exsubmariner]

I'm glad you got that.
X