Pocket Trips
07-13-2005, 12:45 PM
I am debating whether or not to tell my 14 year old cousin who I lived with for 6 years that his mom is actually gay.
A litte background here... My cousin is 14 years old and has been living with my mother and step-father since he was 3 because his mother is a 39 year old drug addict/alcoholic who is incapable of raising a child. She is also a lesbian who had a 1 night stand with a man, of which this child is the result of.
She sees him about once a month or so when she can stay sober long enough to be around him, and does not really do anything as far as parenting is concerned.. She will come to the house and take him to the movies or out to dinner, things like that, she never gets involved in any real "parenting".
Well now that he is 14 he is of course old enough to realize what homosexuality is. He has met his mom's "friend" who is the perect stereotypical butch dyke.
Last month they took my cousin and his freinds to Hooters for lunch and his freinds noticed that his mother and her "friend" were going even more crazy over the waitresses than they were.
After this his freinds started asking/ teasing him about his mom being gay and he went and asked my mother if in fact she ws gay. My mother skirted around the question without really answering it but also not lying to him and just said " I think your mom is confused about a lot of things in her life. You will have to ask her about that."
My cousin keeps avoiding telling him just because she does not want to take responsibility for dealing with her son, just as she has avoided any responsibility for him his entire life. My mother rightfully believes that it should be her that tells him. He has a right to know. I feel if you are old enough to ask the question you are old enough to be told the truth.
Of course this will not be easy for a 14 y/o to deal with but it is not something that is going to change or go away as h gets older and I feel that the sooner he knows the truth and is able to deal with it the better off he will be later in life.
My question is this. If no one in my family actually has the balls to tell him after another month or so, should I do it myself? I am pretty close with him since we are almost like brothers having been raised by the same person.
And if I do end up having to tell him, how should I go about doing so?? I don't want him to find out by someone ike Nelson from the simpson's saying "HAHA your mom's gay!"
A litte background here... My cousin is 14 years old and has been living with my mother and step-father since he was 3 because his mother is a 39 year old drug addict/alcoholic who is incapable of raising a child. She is also a lesbian who had a 1 night stand with a man, of which this child is the result of.
She sees him about once a month or so when she can stay sober long enough to be around him, and does not really do anything as far as parenting is concerned.. She will come to the house and take him to the movies or out to dinner, things like that, she never gets involved in any real "parenting".
Well now that he is 14 he is of course old enough to realize what homosexuality is. He has met his mom's "friend" who is the perect stereotypical butch dyke.
Last month they took my cousin and his freinds to Hooters for lunch and his freinds noticed that his mother and her "friend" were going even more crazy over the waitresses than they were.
After this his freinds started asking/ teasing him about his mom being gay and he went and asked my mother if in fact she ws gay. My mother skirted around the question without really answering it but also not lying to him and just said " I think your mom is confused about a lot of things in her life. You will have to ask her about that."
My cousin keeps avoiding telling him just because she does not want to take responsibility for dealing with her son, just as she has avoided any responsibility for him his entire life. My mother rightfully believes that it should be her that tells him. He has a right to know. I feel if you are old enough to ask the question you are old enough to be told the truth.
Of course this will not be easy for a 14 y/o to deal with but it is not something that is going to change or go away as h gets older and I feel that the sooner he knows the truth and is able to deal with it the better off he will be later in life.
My question is this. If no one in my family actually has the balls to tell him after another month or so, should I do it myself? I am pretty close with him since we are almost like brothers having been raised by the same person.
And if I do end up having to tell him, how should I go about doing so?? I don't want him to find out by someone ike Nelson from the simpson's saying "HAHA your mom's gay!"