dr. klopek
07-08-2005, 01:52 PM
Since last we met with weird lady at work, I have learned a great deal about this enigmatic woman. Her name is Linda, she was in the air force, she is insane. When I say insane, I don't mean she's a raving lunatic, I mean she has no social skills. At all. Allow me to demonstrate with a few anecdotes from the office.
One of the things that I get underpaid for is meeting couriers on the loading dock and checking in large numbers of bags of checks from Wells Fargo branches. When I finish checking them in, I take them up the elevator to "Checktrack" and open them to distribute the checks to the different departments for processing. Linda insists on helping me with this, despite my repeated insistence that I don't need it. She tries to take over the pushing of the huge cart full of checks up the ramp. She is not physically strong enough to do this. When I tell her not to, or take the cart back, her typical response is "You're a good guy." Occasionally, it's "You're my friend." Then, after I get to Checktrack, she stands about 2 feet behind me, slightly to my left, watching me. Just standing there watching me work.
I was walking down the ramp to the elevator the other day, carrying a book. Linda appeared at the bottom of the ramp, looked up at me quizzically and asked: "What kind of book are you reading?" I turned the book so that she could see the cover (Super System II). Undaunted by the fact that the book I was holding provided no opportunities for akwardness, she asked: "Do you have anything about Hitler or the German Nazis?" Slightly taken aback, I replied that I didn't, to which she responded: "I sure wish I knew someone who did." Rather than point out the many inappropriate things about this conversation, I let it slide.
One day I was sitting with the tiny 31 year old filipino girl that has a crush on me (That's a whole other story), working my usual magic, and Linda walked up. "Close your eyes and hold out your hand" she said. I opened my hand and told her that I would keep my eyes open just in case it was a trick. "You're my friend, I just want to give you a surprise," she reassured me. So in my hand she placed....a paperclip. But it was no ordinary paperclip, friends, no. It was one of those triangular ones. I thanked her. She told me that she would start saving them for me whenever she got them.
There are a few couriers that always ask her what happened to the money she borrowed from them. Apparently she is notorious for bumming money from people at work. One of her favorite ways of asking is: "Do you know what I wish?....I wish I could borrow twenty dollars from you."
She really makes it a pleasure to go to work every day.
One of the things that I get underpaid for is meeting couriers on the loading dock and checking in large numbers of bags of checks from Wells Fargo branches. When I finish checking them in, I take them up the elevator to "Checktrack" and open them to distribute the checks to the different departments for processing. Linda insists on helping me with this, despite my repeated insistence that I don't need it. She tries to take over the pushing of the huge cart full of checks up the ramp. She is not physically strong enough to do this. When I tell her not to, or take the cart back, her typical response is "You're a good guy." Occasionally, it's "You're my friend." Then, after I get to Checktrack, she stands about 2 feet behind me, slightly to my left, watching me. Just standing there watching me work.
I was walking down the ramp to the elevator the other day, carrying a book. Linda appeared at the bottom of the ramp, looked up at me quizzically and asked: "What kind of book are you reading?" I turned the book so that she could see the cover (Super System II). Undaunted by the fact that the book I was holding provided no opportunities for akwardness, she asked: "Do you have anything about Hitler or the German Nazis?" Slightly taken aback, I replied that I didn't, to which she responded: "I sure wish I knew someone who did." Rather than point out the many inappropriate things about this conversation, I let it slide.
One day I was sitting with the tiny 31 year old filipino girl that has a crush on me (That's a whole other story), working my usual magic, and Linda walked up. "Close your eyes and hold out your hand" she said. I opened my hand and told her that I would keep my eyes open just in case it was a trick. "You're my friend, I just want to give you a surprise," she reassured me. So in my hand she placed....a paperclip. But it was no ordinary paperclip, friends, no. It was one of those triangular ones. I thanked her. She told me that she would start saving them for me whenever she got them.
There are a few couriers that always ask her what happened to the money she borrowed from them. Apparently she is notorious for bumming money from people at work. One of her favorite ways of asking is: "Do you know what I wish?....I wish I could borrow twenty dollars from you."
She really makes it a pleasure to go to work every day.