Utterly embarrassing and honest confessions of a 1 year pro

[TStoneMBD]

Well, 7 days ago was my 1 year anniversay in which I turned pro. I have no regrets about my career choice. I am finally performing as well in poker as I thought I should have for a long time. It's a relief. For quite a few months when I first turned pro, I was barely covering my expenses. My networth was a joke.

As most of you know, I was playing full time low limits at Turning Stone up until the beginning of this year. I studied the mid-high stakes forum close to 30 hours a week for a long time, and finally took a jump into the 10/20 game and progressed into 20/40 with a marginally adaquate roll. I finally decided I was good enough to take a stab at online play after having a bad month playing live. I was skeptical that I could do better online as the games were tougher at similiar limits and I wasn't sure if I would be able to multitable small stakes profitably.

I decided not to dive into high stakes as I didn't want to hit any downswings. I just came off a losing month for the first time and I was understandably stressed out. I bought a UXGA monitor and hopped into 4 tabling 3/6 with a $1000 deposit. I hit a 100BB downswing my first night playing and was almost about to throw my monitor out the window. I decided I'd play out the remaining $400 and put internet poker on hold for a while if I had lost my remaining deposit.

To my chagrin, I suddenly went on a tremendous tear. I recovered my losses and started turning large profits. I quickly bought a second monitor and bumped my game to 8 tables.

I soon made a brag post in small stakes with my fantastic winrate after I had reached a fairly significant sample size. My post may have helped some of the players there but it was more for my benefit as I wanted respect and attention childishly. Truthfully, the respect that I wanted was mainly because I wanted people to respond to my posts, especially from the players who's advice I could count on the most. I also wanted people to start listening to what I had to say, because I knew that I had ideas to contribute to the community that many other people didn't have. For a long time I wanted respect. I was dedicated to become the best and worked hard on my game and my ego started to kick in. I have been saying for almost a year now that "there is no room for ego in poker" and I had fallen victim to my own statement. I'm sorry for that.

I moved to 5/10 and things were great. I had finally reached a level that I had always wished of. For years I was in awe of people playing games like 50/100 and couldn't fathom sitting in a game like that myself. It was kind of a dream of mine. I have now played 50/100 before but now I don't even bother as it's hardly worth my time in a short-term financial scope. I also wouldn't sit in a 50/100 game online as I would probably be the favorite to lose the money and it's probably not even worth my time if I was the favorite unless I was multitabling it, which I certainly am not good enough to do.

Since I have reached a level that I always wanted to, it's pretty fulfilling. It feels good, but my passion for the game is deteriorating. Poker loses its excitement when you've spent every waking hour of a year practicing it. It's no longer a game. It's what I do. That's not really a good thing either. I'm content with my level as a poker player for the time being, which is good for my level of happiness but not good for my development. As a result, my ego is starting to fade as I am finding contentment in life and realizing that despite performing well, maybe I am not as good as I think I am or want to be. There are many players on these forums who are better poker players than I am, and maybe better than I could ever dream to be and they receive less notice than I do because they don't stick their noses out seeking attention. I now have great respect for these posters.

I rarely read strategic posts anymore and hardly spend the time on these forums that I used to. Many would say that this is a good thing, but I don't feel that way. I now usually spend my time on twoplustwo by posting one liners. The one liners usually consist of me correcting people, putting people down, making humorous posts that may be insulting to someone else, or if I'm feeling kind I may just post something strategic. It is posters like the very one that I have become that have irritated me in the past, and I apologize for that. I'm clearing my guilty conscience and I'm going to stop trying to be so brutally honest if my post may offend someone. That is not how I should be returning my appreciation to these forums and that is not how a veteran poster examples what this forum is all about. I have always felt that brutal honesty was important for development, but in many cases it's not and it can be a large deterrent when that honesty is spoken in a negative form. Many of my posts are brutally honest in expense of myself because I feel that I am helping somebody despite making my public image here look bad.

I recently moved out of my crummy place and into a really beautiful apartment nearly 7 hours away. I've been here for a month and don't know anyone around this area. I'm having trouble making friends being indoors all the time and not knowing where I can go to meet people. I'm not old enough to go to bars and don't have a job so my options are limited. I'm probably happier than I've ever been but things are starting to get boring. The thought of success used to keep me going but not so much anymore. I end up sleeping 10-12 hours a day just because I'd have nothing better to do if I woke up earlier. I may be happy, but that is depressing. Building new friendships was never a very enjoyable experience to me. I appreciate deep friendships and have had a few of them in the past, but it takes a long time to develop those friendships. I don't even know how long I will be staying in this location so it may be a while until I can build relationships like that again. I guess I should give it a try though because you never know who you will meet and it isn't healthy to be as socially inactive as I have recently become.

I bought a treadmill last week and have been running a mile every day. It really feels great and I've noticed an immediate progress in my stamina during the run. I've become physically pathetic. It takes me 16 minutes to run a mile. I should really be joining a gym for social and physical purposes, but its embarrassing to be exercising around people when running a mile exhausts you. When my stamina builds up I want to join a tennis/racquetball club. I'm determined to not lose interest in using this treadmill. In an effort to progress my physical health, I'm slowly increasing my required amount of distance to run daily. I'd like to get to a point where I run at least 3 miles a session daily, or sprint a mile in under 7 minutes at least once a day. Obviously I have a long way to go for this to happen. I'm hoping that running becomes my new addiction as I am very much oriented to perfection once I set my mind on something.

There is pride when you become successful at something. It's nice to see yourself accomplishing goals and progressing in life. However, it's hard for me to be proud of myself as a poker player for a long time. So what if I can calculate pot equity? It's all pretty arbitrary. The nice thing about poker is that it has increased my level of understanding on so many other subjects in a way that I will never comprehend. Poker has made me grow as a person. Eventually when I decide to move into a different field in my lifetime, I know that poker will have given me skills and abilities that I would have never possessed had I never dedicated myself to this game.

Maybe it's not just poker that has made me this way. Maybe it is the fact that I was so dedicated to something and was mentally alert at all times. My uncle, a person who I would consider to be very wise at times, has said that once you begin to study something in life, anything, with all your ability, that your brain will operate and open up in ways that it never has before. Maybe he is right.

My content in life is dwindling as my devotion to improving with poker is starting to fade. I don't know how I'm going to find happiness in the longevity of life, but I know it won't be through sitting in my house on my computer all day. I'm a very wishywashy person. My interests in things change all the time. I don't think I could ever be satisfied dedicating myself to one thing my entire life. I'm an explorer and love to learn new things. Playing poker for 30 hours a week could be a very good life for me, but there needs to be something else at the core. Some sort of passion that I can love. I just need to find it.

[sam h]

That was probably a difficult post to write. I'm impressed that you did.

Here is a question: You can play on the internet anywhere. Why not move to a place where you have friends or will have an easier time developing a more extensive social life? You say that you are happier now than ever, but I'm sure things could improve. Why not set yourself a set of goals and attach them to a moving plan, something like "I'm going to make xxx thousand dollars and I'm going to get in serious shape by xxxx date and then I'm going to move to New York or Philly or wherever"

[steaknshake925]

hey dude, you are one of my favorite posters here. i like ur posts in HUSH and admire ur professional attitude toward poker. you seem like a really nice guy, keep going strong!

also, my impression is u 8-table 5/10 6max for a living? why not hop up to 10/20 and play fewer tables, im sure that'll help with the burnout factor.

[TStoneMBD]

i moved up to 10/20 yesterday, hit a 70BB upswing in a couple of hours and am currently on a little over a 120BB downswing since then so i think i will be moving back down tommorow unless things take a turn for the good tonight. thank you for the compliment though.

[stankybank]

Good post. It must've took a lot of energy and guts to post that on here. Real honesty. Anyhow, I just want to say that from the outside looking in, or reading in, it seems as though you're unhappy with your life. I think a lot of that has to do with poker but that's probably not entirely the reason. One thing I want to say is that maybe you shouldn't have moved to a place where you don't know anybody if you weren't ready. It takes a real social person to go out to the middle of a town where you don't know anyone and start to make friends and introduce yourself to people. Unless you join some group or something, people aren't really gonna give a rats ass about you. Nothing personal of course. It's like that for everybody. People just don't want to waste their time walking up to strangers and saying, "Oh, you look new here, what's your name?"

I suggest you move to a place where you have some friends around. Get a roommate with one of your poker friends if you can, or someone you feel close to so that it's not awkward w/ a total stranger when he/she sees you playing online poker 24/7. If you have family, perhaps staying w/ them for 6 months or so can help you make a better decision than you might make living by yourself in an isolated place. Online poker can be very isolating and you might start to find that your social skills are rotting away.

Anyhow, I'm rambling now and sounding like a preach so I'll just wish you the best of luck and find your true passion, whatever it is, and chase it. Life's too short to do otherwise.

As a fellow-just-turned-pro-who-wants-to-give-you-props-for-your-post,

stanky

[jstewsmole]

I dont know if i could write something like that myself so i give props. Great Post.

If i played professionaly i think id have to play live quite a bit just for that human interaction and just to get out of the house as well.

Even though ur playing well and making it, I think its even more important to have great friends or some kind of social life.

I hope u have continued success and u find happiness in whatever u do.

[TStoneMBD]

i signed a 1 year lease last month so i dont think moving somewhere is possible right now. i really do like it here though and im not as socially needy as most people are so im not dissapointed with my choice of location.

[einbert]

Great post man, you have my total respect for one.

Burnout is of course a huge factor for us. I was burning out big time until recently. What I have done is adopted a strategy of only playing four tables instead of the eight I used to in order to really spend more effort working on my game instead of just 'doing' poker. I have also adopted an aggressive strategy for moving up limits (I'm now moving up whenever I have 600BB for the next level, moving back down if I get down to 500BB for the current level). I know you seem to be pretty risk averse but I would reccomend trying something similar (maybe move up at 1000BB, move down at 900BB).

Great to hear that the exercise thing is working out for you, I should be doing that myself.

[yoadrians]

There are so many things here to look at, and yes, you do sound unhappy. But let's focus on the positive:

- Your poker game has improved dramatically, and you're making a living playing cards. That's awesome - dude, people would KILL to make a living playing cards. Seriously. Good for you.

- You had the courage to admit to yourself that you were physically unfit, and so you went out, bought a treadmill and now run a mile a day. It's not easy to admit that to yourself - heck, as a former college soccer player, I had ballooned up to about 275 a few years ago. I finally looked myself in the mirror, broke the mirror, and started running a mile a day. At the time, it was painful and I would've rather swallowed my own vomit than run. Today, I run half-marathons and 10Ks frequently. Keep it up! The hardest thing to do is start running ... soon, if you make a point to do it EVERY SINGLE DAY, the hardest thing for you will be to NOT run every day. It's addicting, especially when you begin to see results. Here's a goal for you: Run in a community 5K event by Sept. 1. Three months is enough time to get in shape for a 5K. You can do it ... and, it will give you something to do in your new community. Speaking of which ...

- You had the courage to try something new and moved away to another town 7 hours away. Dude, that takes guts. And since it's hard to meet people, my advice is this: Get a job. Seriously. Wait tables at a restaurant for lunch. Tend bar during happy hour somewhere. Work afternoons at a movie theater. Get a 20-hour a week job at a grocery store. This will solve two of your problems:

1) You will meet people in this new town and begin to build relationships and, thus, begin having things to do other than play poker.
2) Your love of the game of poker will be restored, as now it's not the 'only' thing in your life ... and you'll know what it's like to grind it out in the real world.

In conclusion, you sound real down. But seriously, man, focus on the positive. You are a risk-taker, you have courage, and you are successful at what you do.

It's easy to get down on yourself. But think about all you've done so far, continue to set goals for yourself, and keep us posted on how things go.

[SA125]

[ QUOTE ]
I'm not old enough to go to bars and ..

[/ QUOTE ]

You're not even 21?

[ QUOTE ]
I've become physically pathetic. It takes me 16 minutes to run a mile. I should really be joining a gym for social and physical purposes, but its embarrassing to be exercising around people when running a mile exhausts you.

[/ QUOTE ]

Ironic point. I'm in the Borgata the other day. It's my second time there, but first time settling in for serious table time. A very friendly, young obese guy at the table has everybody in knots because he's playing stupidly and doing great. Some guys have quit the game because of him.

I'm sitting there thinking two things. One is that, as far as girls, good times and general bs goes, I'm sure life was much better to me at that age than it was for him. He looks like he has much more luck in poker than I've had, but I'm sure he'd trade half of it if he could for the other bennies I've got my share of. Second is, for a man that age, that's no way to look. If you don't look good in your early to late 20's, you never will. Get in shape. No debate. Get off your fat ass and get in shape.

[TStoneMBD]

i weigh 215 and am 6'. im probably not in as bad physical shape as you think, its more that i sit on my ass all day on the computer and havent exercised in years.

[Paluka]

Reading this post, it really seems like you have gone out of your way to live a really miserable life.

[TStoneMBD]

can you explain to me why it is that you are such a dick to me paluka? everytime you have ever replied to one of my posts it is with utter dickheadedness. i dont appreciate your further replies to this thread, so please dont respond.

thank you, die.

[Paluka]

[ QUOTE ]
can you explain to me why it is that you are such a dick to me paluka? everytime you have ever replied to one of my posts it is with utter dickheadedness. i dont appreciate further reply to this thread, so please dont respond.

thank you, die.

[/ QUOTE ]

I can't explain if I can't reply...

[mungpo]

Do you play any other ring games? Try taking up Omaha 8/b, its a fun game and very profitable. I also try to play tournaments if I feel burned out on ring games.

[TStoneMBD]

thats not necessary. explanation not needed.

[Emmitt2222]

Really good post. Most people here couldn't admit half of the stuff you did. I wish you success in whatever you do in the future.

[timprov]

See if you can't push your interests into something social. A tennis/racquetball club should help a little. (I'm much more out of shape than you and I can still do those things occasionally, you shouldn't have too much problem.) How about taking some classes? There are usually quite a few recreational class activities available in things like arts and sports, and if you've got a community/technical college or university around you could take a class or two per term to get yourself out of the house and with people. Volunteering is another good method, and some of it doesn't suck. Part of the beauty of poker is its time-flexibility.

[CallMeIshmael]

Yo dude,

I've always had a lot of respect for your game/posts.

AND, fwiw, I always thought you were like 40. So, I guess, 'childish' isnt the word I would have used to describe you /images/graemlins/shocked.gif

Right now, Im playing a lot of O/8, and SnGs to get away from the limit grind. Maybe give that a try.

Also... sucks you moved, cause I was definitely gonna try to get you out of the house for a TStone seesion /images/graemlins/mad.gif

Best of luck,

Jordan

[CallMeIshmael]

[ QUOTE ]
Really good post. Most people here couldn't admit half of the stuff you did. I wish you success in whatever you do in the future.

[/ QUOTE ]

[TStoneMBD]

there is always a home game for you here CMI if you ever want to take the 7 hour hike lmk /images/graemlins/laugh.gif

[CallMeIshmael]

[ QUOTE ]
there is always a home game for you here CMI if you ever want to take the 7 hour hike lmk /images/graemlins/laugh.gif

[/ QUOTE ]

Where do you live now, btw?

[MEbenhoe]

Where did you move to? If there's any 2+2ers in the area ask them to show ya around a bit. Seems like an easy place to start.

[TStoneMBD]

connecticut

[touchfaith]

Take up golf.

Burns 5 hours a day, is good exercise and you meet 3 people every day.

[CallMeIshmael]

[ QUOTE ]
connecticut

[/ QUOTE ]

Where? (or PM me the town, if you dont want to reveal it here)

Im gonna be there for a week in mid August to visit a friend.

[SA125]

[ QUOTE ]
can you explain to me why it is that you are such a dick to me paluka?

[/ QUOTE ]

Much respect for that MD. I have a tremendous respect for Paluka's thoughts, but his goal has always seemed to be group/club approval. For an NYC guy, I'm disappointed. I've had my ass kissed at the table in AC by better for general bs, I'm sure. And they were just looking to be friendly. For whatever reason.

[MEbenhoe]

[ QUOTE ]
connecticut

[/ QUOTE ]

Definitely 2+2ers there. Go make a post in OOT saying you just moved there and asking for some connecticut area people to show you around. Guaranteed success.

[Equal]

Great post. You obviously have a good head on your shoulders.

One thing I want you to realize is that poker is but a stepping stone - it gives you the opportunity to improve yourself in other ways. Sure making money and saving it up by playing non-stop is good, but cutting back on the hours a bit to take classes, join sports teams, read non-poker books, and learn about the things in life you will need to know about - these are the real advantages of playing poker.

[TStoneMBD]

ive thought about this before, but ive never played golf before besides driving range (i can hit the thing like 150 yards with no accuracy) and minature golf. can you just join a local golf club, shoot a par 93 and not be the idiot whos standing on the green?

[dealer_toe]

I've always had respect for your posts. Its huge, and unique that you can not only realize the things you do, but be secure enough to post it on an open forum. Something tells me you'll be just fine.

I joined a gym...the one the hooter girls get a membership too /images/graemlins/wink.gif and I play some competitive golf. I find getting out of the house is really refreshing and helps w/ the grind. There are a lot of things out there for you to try. I'm actually thinking about going to school part time this fall for a change of pace, and to do something "for real productive."

[dealer_toe]

[ QUOTE ]
ive thought about this before, but ive never played golf before besides driving range (i can hit the thing like 150 yards with no accuracy) and minature golf. can you just join a local golf club, shoot a par 93 and not be the idiot whos standing on the green?

[/ QUOTE ]

Dude if you can be a beginner and shoot 93 you really aren't that bad. Best part about golf is you can gamble!! I'd definetly reccomend taking it up.

[sthief09]

I haven't read his other posts that you're referring to but I tend to agree with him here. you went pro as a low limit B&M player and were obviously not ready for it. seems like a tough, stressful existence

also moving away from friends, and missing out on the college life are probably two things that you'll regret down the road.

I feel bad for you in some respects in that you occasionally seem lost or misguided (like your tax post), but I'm glad that you seem to be finding your way because you seem to have good intentions. you're just a bit underdeveloped it seems.

but I don't know you, I don't know your past, and I don't know your life at home. I don't mean to judge here, and I mean everything I said in the most sincere, constructive manner.

[touchfaith]

[ QUOTE ]
ive thought about this before, but ive never played golf before besides driving range (i can hit the thing like 150 yards with no accuracy) and minature golf. can you just join a local golf club, shoot a par 93 and not be the idiot whos standing on the green?

[/ QUOTE ]

Sounds like you are already off to a decent start.

No need to join a club or anything, just get a set of clubs, hit your local muni course and pop your name on the list as a single...

They'll call your name and off you go.

Best part about muni courses, especially during weekdays, is that there are typically a fair amount of retired folks playing that are not typically your biggest hitters, so it will give you a little more comfort level to hack around (because they'll be hacking too)...

If you end up enjoying it, it sounds like you are doing well enough to afford a 100 bucks or 2 for an hour private lesson from the shop pro and you will be amazed at what that will do for your game (and subsequent enjoyment level)...

At most muni (city owned) courses, you can either get a discount fee or even a monthly card to cut down costs...

I love having a month card right now (mon-thurs, unlimited play). It gives you back routine in your life.

I get up at 6 these days, go play a round of golf and am back home by noon, eat and then decide if I feel like playing cards yet...or golfing more /images/graemlins/grin.gif

[eric5148]

[ QUOTE ]
ive thought about this before, but ive never played golf before besides driving range (i can hit the thing like 150 yards with no accuracy) and minature golf. can you just join a local golf club, shoot a par 93 and not be the idiot whos standing on the green?

[/ QUOTE ]

Golf is awesome.

I'm a very shy person. I started playing golf when I was 10 years old. I basically learned all of my social skills on the golf course. Going to a public course by yourself, you'll get paired up with a couple other people. You'll have to say hi and shake hands on the first tee. Then during the round you talk about golf or sports or what you do for a living or whatever. It's really the perfect way to meet people. I'm pretty sure I had/have some kind of serious social anxiety thing. Now, whenever I get into a social situation that might make me nervous, I just act like we're on the first tee. I doubt you have any of the social problems I did, I'm just saying it sounds like you could use some more friends.

It's also good exercise, and very challenging.

I'm living my dream life right now: golf all morning, poker all evening. /images/graemlins/smirk.gif

[TStoneMBD]

i actually take quite a bit of offense to this. despite it appearing to be a bad choice to go B&M pro at that point in my life it was definitely not. it was a good choice and if it didnt work out i had other options. it worked out well and im glad i did it. ive always been the type who will survive no matter what he did. even if i wasnt earning income playing poker at the time i would have certainly found a way to pay the bills while developing a financially sound future for myself. its true that in some ways i am underdeveloped, but likewise in some ways i am overdeveloped. i dont find that to be a problem, i just find it to be unusual as i am an unusual person.

edit: i also never encountered twoplustwo until right after i went pro. this is unfortunate, but turning pro indirectly lead me here and i may not have ever discovered these forums had i not. if i knew about these forums before turning pro i certainly would have waited, studied a while and then started playing on the internet. at the time though this was not an option and as a result i made a good decision with the options that i had.

[TStoneMBD]

this sounds pretty sweet. i hadnt thought about taking lessons but should do that. how much do memberships to golf courses usually cost? are they usually memberships where you can play unlimited for free or are there extra costs to use the course?

[sthief09]

when I say underdeveloped, I mean underdeveloped for someone who's been on his own financially for a full year, not someone who's 20 years old. and I didn't say going pro was a bad choice. I said it led to a tough, stressful existence at first, as you were not ready as a poker player. you have been fortunately to run good when you needed to. when you stpped up to 10/20 you managed to win, when you almost gave up online poker, you made a comeback. things did not have to work out as well as they did. you took a gamble and won.

[SmileyEH]

TStone, you should come up to amherst at some point and chill wiht macdaddywarsaw and I. I can't imagine its more than an hour and a half or so from where you live.

-SmileyEH

[eric5148]

[ QUOTE ]
this sounds pretty sweet. i hadnt thought about taking lessons but should do that. how much do memberships to golf courses usually cost? are they usually memberships where you can play unlimited for free or are there extra costs to use the course?

[/ QUOTE ]

Just find a public course near you. You won't need any kind of membership. You'll pay $15-$40ish a round for most public courses.

[Bob T.]

Don't worry about it, you'll get better, just like you did in poker. Oh yeah, and remember that the scoring is done when you get close to the green. Spend a lot of time practicing the short game.

[dealer_toe]

The municipal courses, some offer cards to play X amount of rounds which will come out to a discount per round. If you join a semi private club (has members and public can play there) it isn't too bad. I negotiated w/ the owner of my course because I've been there fore a few years, but if I was a new member there it would have been about $800 for the entire year unlimited play as much as I want any day I want as long as the tee is open I can play.

Lessons would be a good idea, Also the mindset and patience needed to play poker carries over really well to golf.

[mscags]

You have just gained a lot of respect in my book.

[TStoneMBD]

definitely man. sounds good. i mapquested it and youre right, its an hour and a half away. pm me next time you have something in store.

[TStoneMBD]

yah that makes sense and is pretty damn accurate.

[bernie]

Nice post.

Welcome to burnout.

Burnout sucks!

I can identify with some of the stuff you're going through. It isn't always fun.

b

[sthief09]

are you a pro bernie?

[bernie]

[ QUOTE ]
are you a pro bernie?

[/ QUOTE ]

I didn't know it was a secret.

b

[TStoneMBD]

i didnt really know that you were a pro either. i thought you might have been but wasnt sure. i was actually under the impression that poker was not your primary income.

[sthief09]

same

[bernie]

[ QUOTE ]
i didnt really know that you were a pro either. i thought you might have been but wasnt sure. i was actually under the impression that poker was not your primary income.

[/ QUOTE ]

It wasn't my primary until last August. I never quite had the living expenses roll until then. Something was always coming up to deplete it. Lots of other crap had to be taken care of before that too. But even then I was putting in about 30 hours a week live + extra hours online.

All in all, it's been a pretty f*cked ride the last 4-5 years. /images/graemlins/smirk.gif

It's nice to finally be in the sun for awhile.

Burnout still sucks!

b

[sthief09]

I guess it's a good thing you're good at winning jackpots then

[bernie]

[ QUOTE ]
I guess it's a good thing you're good at winning jackpots then

[/ QUOTE ]

Yep /images/graemlins/grin.gif

That went exactly according to the plans I drew up. Along with all the star charts and astrology readings.

b

[Matador225]

Although I've only been a member of 2+2 for a few days, this is by far the deepest post i've read. I could tell it came right from the heart. Good post and good luck finding fulfillment.
-Jack

[JTG51]

Wow. Great post. To be completely honest, I've ignored a lot of your posts in the past because I thought you were an arrogant jerk. That's definitely changed now. I just gained a lot of respect for you.

As for golf, before you go to the course to play your first round, I recommend that you go to the driving range every day for a couple of weeks. You'll see an incredible improvement. If it's a decent range they'll have a pro who can give you lessons. A couple of hours would probably make a huge difference too. Also, find a course with a practice putting green (any decent course should have one) and spend a few hours there.

That'll make playing a round of golf a lot more enjoyable for two reasons. First, it's more fun when you play better. Second, the guys your playing with like you more. No one will get mad at you for being bad, but they might if you're so bad that you hold the group up every hole.

[billyjex]

congrats on your success. you should move to so cal.

[djack]

Welcome to my life.

Going pro wasn't so great. I'd like to do other things, because then my poker game will really grow.

Keep at it. Never give up. Follow your dreams. Aphorisms.

[DeeJ]

Nice post.

I think the golf subthread will help ie get a hobby /images/graemlins/wink.gif not poker.

[philnewall]

It's better to burn out than to fade away...

[JTrout]

Have you considered taking a class or two at a local college, jr. college, or such. Maybe a once a week night class or something.

You can pick something that interests you, get out of the apt., meet people, learn something new, and feel good about it.

Oh yeah, and play golf! Don't worry what you shoot, everyone starts at the bottom.
Just play fast, don't scream obscenities, and don't throw clubs, and you'll never be unwelcome.

Best of luck.

[speirs]

GG and keep up the good work. I always find it interesting to read honest stories like this.

This I found really intriguing:

[ QUOTE ]
My uncle, a person who I would consider to be very wise at times, has said that once you begin to study something in life, anything, with all your ability, that your brain will operate and open up in ways that it never has before. Maybe he is right.

[/ QUOTE ]

I hope this is true and will find out myself in the near future.

[Paluka]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
can you explain to me why it is that you are such a dick to me paluka?

[/ QUOTE ]

Much respect for that MD. I have a tremendous respect for Paluka's thoughts, but his goal has always seemed to be group/club approval. For an NYC guy, I'm disappointed. I've had my ass kissed at the table in AC by better for general bs, I'm sure. And they were just looking to be friendly. For whatever reason.

[/ QUOTE ]

Group/club appoval? If making dickish responses to TStoneMBD's posts is making me more popular, I've yet to see it. What would happen if this were true? I'd get more PMs from Astroglide?
TStoneMBD talks about brutal honesty in his original post. And that is what my posts are about. I wasn't trying to be a dick in my response in this thread. I was being honest. It really does look like he has purposely made choices to make his own life miserable. At a very young age he decided to become a poker pro, despite any evidence that he is an exceptional poker player. Then he moves 7 hours away to a random place where he knows nobody, and of course he won't meet anyone because he is an internet hermit. Anyone on earth could have told him this wasn't likely to be a route to happiness. Given that he posts on 2+2 constantly about everyday issues like "how much to get a TV repaired" and "how much to ship my stuff overseas" and "what is the best way for me to evade taxes" and "was I wrong to call with my gutshot getting 5 to 1" you would think he could have asked if being an internet hermit in a random town in Connecticut was a good idea. He might have, but apparentely he didn't listen to the advice because I can't believe that anyone told him it was a good idea. So, yes. I believe he has made a bunch of bad, easily fixed decisions that have led to him being less happy than he could be.
Another reason why I'm a dick to TStoneMBD is because I honestly think his posts rank among the stupidest on 2+2 of any frequent poster. He posted "reviews" of the Star Wars films in which he not only showed that he could not follow the simple plots, but he also did not know what the word "review" meant. And I'm not even going to go into his endless posts about the mundane parts of everyday life that he could easily figure out on his own in 5 seconds.
In closing, I think TStoneMBD would be a lot better off if he re-examined some of his decisions better. Being a dick to him amuses me, and just might wake him up a bit. I may be wrong sometimes, but usually if I think someone is consistently being retarded they are probably doing something wrong. So maybe I'll have fun being a dick, and TStone might improve himself a bit. Then it is win/win for all.

[turnipmonster]

good post. I think being honest with yourself and wanting to improve are a really powerful combination.

--turnipmonster

[AviD]

Sounds to me as if you've committed yourself to playing poker to live, pay the bills, etc...yet you are already discontent with poker as a long term life "plan" and career direction.

Seems like a disaster waiting to happen IMO, but if you are making it as a full time pro for over a year now, it sounds like you can at least continue to do that until a more appealing option becomes available. But as in all things, that and your future path are in your hands...often/most times the option won't just present itself, you have to create the option.

Unfortunately, as you become more and more discontent with poker, you'll want to play less and less but need to play more and more in order to get by. Ugly set of circumstances, start thinking about a new plan...like today.

Perhaps you should make playing poker to pay for your college tuition an immediate goal such that you always have something to fall back on throughout your consistently changing interests now and in the future.


Good luck.

[bogey]

[ QUOTE ]
ive thought about this before, but ive never played golf before besides driving range (i can hit the thing like 150 yards with no accuracy) and minature golf. can you just join a local golf club, shoot a par 93 and not be the idiot whos standing on the green?

[/ QUOTE ]

theres no way you'll shoot a 93 if you've never gone before

[theghost]

[ QUOTE ]
i signed a 1 year lease

[/ QUOTE ]
you could probably sublet the place, if you really wanted to go somewhere else.

[SL__72]

I don't know much about playing poker proffesionally but I thought yoadrians post seemed like pretty good advice. Working a couple nights a week as a bartender or something like that would probably be fun, as well as something to fill time on your resume if/when you ever have to get a real job.

[ChicagoTroy]

[ QUOTE ]
At a very young age he decided to become a poker pro, despite any evidence that he is an exceptional poker player. Then he moves 7 hours away to a random place where he knows nobody, and of course he won't meet anyone because he is an internet hermit. Anyone on earth could have told him this wasn't likely to be a route to happiness.

[/ QUOTE ]

Exactly. And unhappy people with deteriorating physical and mental health aren't going to play their best, so this isn't even a good idea from a poker point of view. MDB is describing depression sypmtoms that are pretty clearly evolving as a result of his "career" choice. A wake-up call is warranted.

[TommyO]

Why don't you post in the home poker forum and try to organize a home game with local 2+2ers? A good way to meet new people that you have something in common with.

[TylerD]

unnecessarily harsh IMO.

[Nikla]

Good post.

[DMBFan23]

[ QUOTE ]
Good post.

[/ QUOTE ]

TStone or Paluka? I can never tell because you responded to Paluka, but a lot of people just click a random reply button and type

[Paluka]

[ QUOTE ]
unnecessarily harsh IMO.

[/ QUOTE ]

I had to be harsh if I was going to be sincere. I have been a dick to him, and I do think most of his posts make him sound like a total moron. But my advice to him on how to make himself happier was genuine.

[yoadrians]

[ QUOTE ]
I don't know much about playing poker proffesionally but I thought yoadrians post seemed like pretty good advice. Working a couple nights a week as a bartender or something like that would probably be fun, as well as something to fill time on your resume if/when you ever have to get a real job.

[/ QUOTE ]

I'm glad someone else brought this up again. Seriously man, I know getting a 'job' might not seem all that fun or even worth it, seeing as you don't need the money. But in a work environment - specifically bars and restaruants - you get a lot of the college-aged/young adults working there. Goldmine for friends (or at least new people to have fun with). Keeps you on your toes, gets you out of the apartment, you meet people, and you bank a little extra money to put away.

Give it some thought, my man. And, again, keep up with the running. 5K in the fall, baby! You can do it.

[Steve S]

[ QUOTE ]
The nice thing about poker is that it has increased my level of understanding on so many other subjects in a way that I will never comprehend.

[/ QUOTE ]

I love this line!

[flair1239]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I don't know much about playing poker proffesionally but I thought yoadrians post seemed like pretty good advice. Working a couple nights a week as a bartender or something like that would probably be fun, as well as something to fill time on your resume if/when you ever have to get a real job.

[/ QUOTE ]

I'm glad someone else brought this up again. Seriously man, I know getting a 'job' might not seem all that fun or even worth it, seeing as you don't need the money. But in a work environment - specifically bars and restaruants - you get a lot of the college-aged/young adults working there. Goldmine for friends (or at least new people to have fun with). Keeps you on your toes, gets you out of the apartment, you meet people, and you bank a little extra money to put away.

Give it some thought, my man. And, again, keep up with the running. 5K in the fall, baby! You can do it.

[/ QUOTE ]

Yeah a restaurant might be especially fun. Typically the employees at these places get pretty tight. If you are near a college town so much the better.

[mindflayer]

All is well in pokerland.
All is Not well in social-life land.

Your solution??
Make your professional association (2+2)
your social outlet. Hence your posts
.. How to ship stuff overseas..
.. How much to get my tv repaired.
.. Star Wars reviews.

Since you have no friends irl in your new location,
We have become your social outlet.
YOur ideas on excercise are good, but you are isolated on your treadmill.
golf is better. Somewhere in 4.5h you will talk about poker and someone will be interested. I have found friends in golf are always usually good friends to know since they usually have money to waste.

my second idea is to go to your friendly community college and Audit (take a course for no credits) a basic stats course. (hopefully the text will give examples in card terms ie. oods of getting royal flush in 7 cards ) It will give you a good reason to get out to a location where you can meet guys and girls (golf = guys mostly) who you can talk TV repair or Star Wars with.

[PorscheNGuns]

Not even 21 and you've completely thrown your life away. "Rounders" will do that to some people.

-Matt

[Ser William]

I agree with everything Paluka said. There were undertones of depression and regret scattered throughout the OP. It's sad when you're not even 21 and you have no real friends, no burning ambition, and no drive whatsoever. Poker isn't worth all that.

[PorscheNGuns]

>>There were undertones of depression and regret scattered >>throughout the OP.

depression + desperate need for attention = suicide

[mickey]

Turning Stone,

You've received some great advice here, to keep up
the exercise program, get out of the house with a part
time job or volunteer work, or take a class, and taking up
golf.

Golf seems very suited to your personality - it rewards rewards devotion and singlemindedness. The best way to get started
is to find a local golf pro and sign up for a series of lessons. It won't cost much, you'll enjoy it, and it will get you on the right track for what will become endless practice sessions and relentless game improvement.
You need lessons, it is pretty hard to teach yourself to play golf.

[JunkHead]

A couple of things.

- Why do so many have to be raging dicks when replying to posts? What's the point, really?

- You're young. You need to get out of your house and socialize with people your age. Get laid, get drunk, act stupid. This is the only time in your life when you can really get away with that sort of behavior.

- The loss of your deposit is a short term negative towards a long term gain. Eat the loss and move somewhere else. Closer to family and friends.

- All jobs suck from time to time. Everyone suffers burnout, regardless how cool their job seems. Find ways to combat burnout. Take a vacation.

- Working for the man sucks. Making someone else rich is enslavement. You're free, man, relish that freedom.

- Running is great, but it's a lonely way to stay in shape. Join the Y. Running on a treadmill at the Y is so much more pleasant, what with all the eyecandy about /images/graemlins/grin.gif

- A great running resource is CoolRunning.com. Check out the C25K (Couch to 5K) program. It's great.

Sorry for the long post, but you had a lot in there to respond to.

JunkHead

[1800GAMBLER]

I think people are coming down way to hard on you. Yes, you may have made some bad decisions that are affecting your mood now but eff it, you're 20 you are allowed to [censored] up.

I feel about poker the exact same as you, 8 tabling 30/60 or 1 tabling PLO whatever it is bores me to death. I enjoy learning the game and i love to have a flexiable life style, if you don't enjoy any of that just find something new or go back to college.

I think most 1 year pros feel the same as you, poker is just a card game.

[PorscheNGuns]

Dont listen to assholes like this who continue to encourage young guys like yourself to piss away their lives. You still have a chance at a normal life, maybe.

-Matt

[Al Schoonmaker]

Thank you for an unusually frank and balanced post. You have clearly grown as a player and a person.

Keep thinking about longer term issues. Far too many players focus only on the short-term.

One thing you MUST do is get more connected to real world people. The racquet ball club will give you both exercise and people to talk to.

Keep us posted.

Regards,

Al

[SL__72]

I also think people are being hard on you. From what I've read I think maybe you weren't ready to be a professional poker player when you made the decision to be one, but you obviously made it work.

Being burnt out on your JOB isn't exactly usual. I like my job, I like the people I work with, but that doesn't mean I'm looking forward to getting up and going to work every morning, or that I'm not super ready to leave by the time 6pm rolls around.

I can also understand what you said about not having the social life you had but you are still happy. I just finished college and started working and overnight my social life shrank to a fraction of what it was during school, yet I think I am happier as a person overall.

[Ulysses]

My content in life is dwindling as my devotion to improving with poker is starting to fade.

When I first started learning poker, it was fascinating. And I even thought to myself, hmmm, if someday I decide to take a break from business again (I took about 2 years off to travel and hang out after my last company), maybe I'll be a pro-poker player for a while. However, once I got to a certain level of poker skill (though there are plenty of higher limits and tougher games to conquer if I so desired), my interest in poker definitely started to wane.

One thing I've said in the past is that many of the young people here, especially those who quit college to play poker, will never have a chance to be exposed to many really interesting careers - whether that be in business, finance, academia, art, science or whatever else. Now that you've spent some time as a poker pro, I'd encourage you to pursue an education that will allow you to try out a bunch of different areas. Getting a college degree and working for a consulting firm is one good way to get exposed to a lot of different industries and see what lots of different roles do on a day-to-day basis. There are many other routes you can take as well, that's just one. Then, hopefully, one of those things strikes you as something worth really focusing on.

Good post. Good luck.

[CallMeIshmael]

[ QUOTE ]
Not even 21 and you've completely thrown your life away. "Rounders" will do that to some people.

[/ QUOTE ]

If you wouldnt mind, will you please you kill yourself tonight? Its probably best for all parties.

[TStoneMBD]

Some of you had some really excellent things to say, I appreciate that. Some of you had some really negative things to say, that do not benefit me in anyway, and I do not appreciate that. Hey, negative comments are bound to come with a thread that contains so much open material that it makes it easy for someone to take shots at you. Some people get their kicks off of putting down others. They feel sorry for me, but maybe they should feel sorry for themselves. To those people, I don't appreciate your comments, but at least it makes me realize that maybe my life is better than I thought it was. Thank you for that.

Some jerkstore even mentioned suicide! I am nowhere close to suicide my boy. Life is good. Yes things need to be better, and maybe there is a small level of depression as there is with most people. It's more a level of unsatisfaction, which no matter where my life leads me I may always have. It's a motivation that drives me, not a motivation that drives me into a tree on the side of the highway.

I am not entirely bored with poker. Poker truly is a good road for me, but it is mundane and it is not purposeful. Those are really my only concerns. It's about money, I'm just coming to realize that there are things in life worth more than money, which I think is something that most people only figure out once they have it.

I'm the type of person who doesn't lead a balanced life. It's the way that I am. I set my mind to one thing, attack it, and move on to another area of my life once I feel that I am finished. I have pretty much been a workaholic this past year. I've attacked poker, now I need to attack other areas since my dedication to learning has diminished quite a bit. I can only hope that I regain my motivation for poker in the future, which I almost certainly will.

[CallMeIshmael]

[ QUOTE ]
Someone even mentioned suicide! I am nowhere close to suicide my boy.

[/ QUOTE ]

Keep in mind, that the person who mentioned suicide, appears to be partially retarded.

[PLOlover]

A word of warning: though you don't know it, you are completely defenseless against women, and if you are not careful you will be destroyed.

I'm being completely serious.

[imported_bezdi]

Dude, congrats on being way ahead of the pack money wise. But seriously, maybe going to college will open your eyes to new things as in developing a core of friends you can trust and hangout with. Getting piss drunk with the same crowd will do that to you.

Definitely stick to poker till you got a million in your bank account. Then when you retire at 30, you'll be glad you stuck to your goals of playing more and getting better at the game.

Enjoy this youth where days are long and you got lots of time on your hands. And thanks for sharing a brutally honest post of what semi-pros go through from time to time.

[stir]

..or the last to become fodder.

[nolanfan34]

[ QUOTE ]
It's about money, I'm just coming to realize that there are things in life worth more than money, which I think is something that most people only figure out once they have it.

[/ QUOTE ]

If you are recognizing this fact, then you're on the right track already. I think there is some good advice in this thread about getting out of the house and being active. Sounds like there are some 2+2ers around as well in your area. Hell, you seem to have nothing tying you down, take a risk and fly out to Vegas next time there's a big 2+2 gathering.

El Diablo also suggested something that I usually bring up in threads like this, that young poker pros IMO are missing out by not getting themselves into the workforce after college. I'm not sure that time can be made up later. Everyone is different though.

Overall though, you're right, there are things much more important than money. Money can be means to an end, but that only works if there's an end worth reaching. I was expressing to a fellow 2+2er over AIM once that I just couldn't believe how much he and some others were making by playing online. He responded by saying that my life didn't sound too bad - good job, married, and poker on the side to pretty much fund my beer and golf habits. He was right.

Anyway, best wishes in the future to you. That also goes for the others who are reading this thread and not replying, because your post sounds a lot like their lives, and they don't want to respond to that.

[TStoneMBD]

I have thought alot about college, and ElDiablo's post made me think about it some more today. I've come to the conclusion that college is just not right for me at this point in my life. I do not want the responsibility of having to live in this location for a very long time. I do not want to sound foolish if this does not happen, but I have ambitions to travel the world within the near future. I think seeing the world is very important for me and I might as well do it early in life before I have responsibilities and are forced to settle down. I also think that there is a good chance I might want to move out to SoCal or Vegas in a few years. The way finances are going for me, it is always an option that I continue playing poker until the fishing well dries up and then attend college. By then I should have far more than enough saved to not have to worry about paying bills for quite some time. College could become a real short-term money loser for me as I may not be able to put in the hours for poker along with the debt buildup or bankroll slashing that credits will do to me. If I had the choice between x amount of dollars or a college education, my estimated value of x is worth more to me.

[BottlesOf]

You rock.

[helpmeout]

Paluka is right you are a bit of a tosser.

Way too arrogant you say some real dumb [censored] as well, those ego posts dont help much either.

As far as losing weight that is a good start to personal improvement. You probably want to get some weights as well not just run on a treadmill.

Personally I dont think going to a gym and seeing a bunch of buff guys is going to motivate you to do more exercise its probably going to make you feel out of place.

Diet is also very important no good exercising if you are gonna eat takeaway and frozen foods all the time.

One other thing you should probably try to get of the house a bit more. Do some of your walking around the neighbourhood.

Try to schedule some poker free days and work on some other areas of your life.

Being good at poker doesnt just involve being good at poker if you know what I mean.

Good luck

[TStoneMBD]

despite appearing to be helpful, your advice also isnt welcomed in my threads due to past experiences.

[SippinSoma]

Many people in this thread, OP not included, should kill themselves.

Great post. Golf is a good idea. And I'll echo those suggesting you take some classes up at a local community college. Poker is no wicked jumpshot, nor crack rock.

[dealer_toe]

[ QUOTE ]
Dont listen to assholes like this who continue to encourage young guys like yourself to piss away their lives. You still have a chance at a normal life, maybe.

-Matt

[/ QUOTE ]

Whats normal?

Who's to say what normal is and what a good life is, its all a matter of perception.

[spamuell]

[ QUOTE ]

Being good at poker doesnt just involve being good at poker

[/ QUOTE ]

I like this.

[Ser William]

[ QUOTE ]
I have thought alot about college, and ElDiablo's post made me think about it some more today. I've come to the conclusion that college is just not right for me at this point in my life.

[/ QUOTE ]

Are you kidding? I am sure everyone reading this thread has lifelong friends they made in college. And yet, here you are, wasting some of the best years of your life multi-tabling in a single bedroom apartment 7 hours away from anyone you even remotely know. I can't believe all the bad advice you've been given. I guess maybe they are thinking that we are attacking the holy bastion of "the Poker Professional". Best of luck though.

[sthief09]

[ QUOTE ]
despite appearing to be helpful, your advice also isnt welcomed in my threads due to past experiences.

[/ QUOTE ]


if you can deal with his tone he actually has a lot of good stuff to say and he doesn't BS

[Your Mom]

[ QUOTE ]
Many people in this thread, OP not included, should kill themselves.

Great post. Golf is a good idea. And I'll echo those suggesting you take some classes up at a local community college. Poker is no wicked jumpshot, nor crack rock.

[/ QUOTE ]

good Boiler Room refernece. A lot of good advice in that movie, especially don't pitch the bitch.

[aflaba]

[ QUOTE ]
In an effort to progress my physical health

[/ QUOTE ]

Very good!


Here is a list of some(!) really good foods. Food is very very important in living healthy and shaping the body.

==========
Good foods:
"High Protein souces, non dairy
Chicken breasts
Turkey breasts
Tuna, chunk
Salmon
Lean beef
lean ground turkey
Natural peanut butter
Almond butter
Whole Eggs
Egg Whites
Whey protein

High Protein sources, high calcium sources, dairy (lactose)
Fat free Cheese
Fat free Cottage Cheese
Fat free plain yogurt
Fat free milk

Grains, complex carbohydrates, fiber
Oats, Old Fashioned
Oat bran
Fiber One
kashi go-lean
Brown rice
Whole wheat bread
Whole wheat pastas
FF Low Carb Tortillias

Vegetables, complex carbohydrates, fiber
Sweet potatoes
most beans
broccoli
spinach
cauliflower
Green beans
Asparagus
Most veggies

Fresh Fruit (fructose)
Apples
Pears
Oranges
Bananas

Oils (and healthy fats)
Flaxseed oil, fish oils, Olive oil
Nuts (walnuts, almonds, peanuts)
Omega 3 supplements

Anti-Oxidents
Green Tea

Source: From http://forum.bodybuilding.com
===========

Eat good foods. Have 6-8 meals a day. Eat well around your workouts. Again, food is very important. Even more(!) important than training "correctly".
----------

These are my daily meals. The calories and grams are approximate. I eat mostly really yummy food and only really healthy food. Just posting them to give some inspiration.

Breakfeast, 09 am:
-----
=Oatmeal
=Milk(0.5% fat)
=Whey(30%)+Casein(70%)
=Fish Oil
(Multivitamin)
(Green Tea Extract)
-----
32g protein, 54g carbs, 8g fat
416 kcal


Lunch, 12 am:
-----
=Brown Pasta
=Lean Beaf
=Whole Egg
=Fruit
-----
35g protein, 49g carbs, 10g fat
426 kcal


Lunch2, 3 pm
-----
=Brown Rice
=Peas & Beans
=Vegetables
=Salmon
-----
30g protein, 48g carbs, 12g fat
420 kcal

Preworkout Meal, 5.30 pm
-----
=Raw Oats
=Fruit
=Whey
-----
30g protein, 55g carbs, 2g fat
358 kcal


Postworkout Meal 6.30 pm
-----
=Ground Raw Oats
=Dates
=Whey
(Vitamin C)
-----
40g protein, 88g carbs, 4g fat
548 kcal


Supper 8 pm
-----
=Yoghurt (0.5% fat)
=Fruit
=Vegetables
-----
24g protein, 47g carbs, 6g fat
336 kcal


Prebed Meal 10 pm
-----
=Cottage Cheese (0.5% fat)
=Almonds
=Broccoli
=Crispbread
-----
39g protein, 31g carbs, 18g fat
433 kcal


Total:
~2900 kcal
~230g protein, 370g carbs, 60g fat
~30% protein, 50% carbs, 20% fat

----------


Also design a good training program that you feel comfortable with. Base the design of the program upon recognized training principles.

I like the principles of HST.
www.hsnhst.com (http://www.hsnhst.com)
It is great for people who are just starting out with weight lifting, and for experienced lifters as well.

Lift weights 2+ times a week.
Keep doing cardio.

When you lift weights, it is important that you do compound exercises. The most important ones are:
=Squats (**)
=Deadlifts (**)
=Chins
=Dips (*)

Other important lifts are:
=Military Press
=Stiff-Legged Deadlifs (*)
=Bent Over Rows (*)
=Standing Calf Raises
=Lying Triceps Extentions
=Barbell Curl
=Incline Dumbell Press


Before doing any lifts marked with (*), consult someone knowledgeble in weight-lifting and ask them to show you how it's done. Instructors in gyms often don't know much. Try to find someone you know to be knowledgable. Lifts marked with (**) are potentially very dangerous and you should ask for advice as for (*) and also use light weights for a long while until the movements become second nature to you.

If a lift feels bad, then stop doing it.

------------



I hope this post will help you and others. You can learn everything else you need to know on http://forum.bodybuilding.com/ , the 2+2 of body building.

Good luck with your health and body! If you live healthy, then in a year or two you'll be a beefcake!

... hmm. End hijack//

[TStoneMBD]

thank you aflaba. i think my diet is actually pretty good though. my current diet pretty much consists of salads, fruits, nuts, smoked turkey sandwiches with mushrooms, lettuce and hotsauce on wheat and i mainly drink water, but have coffee some days along with some ice tea sometimes. i moderate what i eat and usually dont go over 2000 carbs a day from what i understand. i usually buy my salads at mcdonalds and according to their nutrional info the salads are 350 calories and that includes dressing, and the fruits, walnuts and yogurt is 310. i eat 3 or 4 of these things daily with basically nothing else. when i get the large turkey sub that is all i eat for the day usually, except for a small bag of chips because it comes with it. i suppose i should stop eating that garbage and replace it with nuts or fruit or something.

i probably could use more protein though. maybe i should get the slim protein shakes. what do you think of that? your protein intake is tremendous. i could start eating oatmeal but i dont think id want to eat whey.

[party36master]

Best of luck in finding happiness.

Some thoughts:
Find something else you like to do. Lots of interesting things are going on that you never hear about unless you look. If you're anywhere near Hartford, pick up the Advocate and read it. Lots of stuff going on. Buy the Courant, and read the Arts & Leisure section. Go on CTnow.com, and see what's going on. Just do something to try to meet people and enrich your life. If your apartment has a pool, go there. If you join a tennis club, play in a ladder or tournament. If you're religious, join a church/temple group. See what's going on at UCONN or any other college near where you are.

And if you don't like poker as much anymore, treat it like a job. Decide you're going to spend X hours a week playing, and X hours a week studying, and not going to spend any of the rest of the day thinking about it, or being pissed at how you played hands. Trade some OOT time for some other activity.

[Subfallen]

[ QUOTE ]
If making dickish responses to TStoneMBD's posts is making me more popular, I've yet to see it. What would happen if this were true? I'd get more PMs from Astroglide?

[/ QUOTE ]

So awesome.

[imported_CaseClosed326]

Interesting read. I have enjoyed your posts and they have been pretty helpful to me. So thanks.

But....bad move on changing your avitar, you had one of the best with the kurbla thing.

[TStoneMBD]

lol wtf, everyone loves that avatar except me! every time i change it people yell at me.

[JKratzer]

As far as protein intake, 1 gram/pound of weight is recommended if you're lifting weights regularly. Otherwise it just replaces carbs (which is also good for losing weight). Whey protein is the most easily assimilated by your body. I would suggest buying some whey protein mix and making shakes. Many brands are available and I find most of them actually taste pretty good. Many small meals are better than few big ones. Your diet sounds good as is, but you might consider doing resistance training (lifting weights) in addition to your jogging.

Good luck.

[Ulysses]

It's kind of weird how you go to dinner w/ me twice and now all of a sudden you're much more of a dick. If only these guys knew what a sweet vegetarian dude you really are.

[Moonsugar]

[ QUOTE ]
but there needs to be something else at the core. Some sort of passion that I can love. I just need to find it.

[/ QUOTE ]

Unless you assume a god, the question of life's purpose is meaningless.

[sthief09]

ok it's been a couple of days and no one's said anything, so i have to. did anyone else get a little laugh out of this?

[ QUOTE ]
To my chagrin, I suddenly went on a tremendous tear.

[/ QUOTE ]

[TStoneMBD]

hrm, i am currently chagrined about that!

[sthief09]

let me know if you ever come down to AC though I'm sur eyou'll be making more trips to foxwoods

[J_V]

You should make a list of goals that you want to accomplish for the year. Make it totally personal and tell nobody. Prioritize them and then write down steps and measures you will take to achieve them. I do this every Jan 2.


You might be suprised what's on top. Unless your El Diablo, then it's F as many girls as possible, every year.

This will help you decide if friends, money, girls, stability, etc. are most important to you currently.

[imported_CaseClosed326]

Well I could see if you found a way to improve on it or equal it. But with this new one....it pales in comparison to kurblar.

[Lawrence Ng]

[ QUOTE ]
I can identify with some of the stuff you're going through

[/ QUOTE ]

Come on Bernie, you won a $200k bad beat jackpot man... not many players here can identify with that. /images/graemlins/smirk.gif

Lawrence

[Mr. Graff]

[ QUOTE ]
I set my mind to one thing, attack it, and move on to another area of my life once I feel that I am finished


[/ QUOTE ]
This is why some of the people in this thread will never understand you. Keep it up though, it is the way of an artist and the road to an interesting and unusual life away from the norm.

And starting looking for that soul mate or it may all feel less complete.

[Emperor]

If you look at community colleges they can be MUCH cheaper than playing golf.

Besides if you are 8 tabling 5/10 at 30hrs a week at 2BB/100 thats $3K/ week. You should be able to afford whatever college you want.

No one said go take 18 credit hours. Sign up for 1 class. If its online thats even better, you can do the assignments while traveling the world...

[Emperor]

Yah good idea..

Read The Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren.

[Stinkybeaver]

It's kind a inlightning for a newbie to read this, knowing that I sometimes dream about making 40-50$ an hour playing cards. I'm sure it gets lonely and frsutrating all the time just sitting in front of the screen pressing chek/fold/bet.

I think you need to have some gaols of where you wonna go with your poker. Why are you playing only because of the money, because its fun, or just because you are very good at it.

I've started playing because I found it to be fun. Now when I'm playing I'm not triyng to have fun anymore I'm trying to win money so it's kind of a different game all in all.

But I have a goal with this, I'll save my poker money and put a down payment on a house one day if I can make enough.

This will be very good for my future life and I don't care that I spend little to no time ion front of th tv anymore this just makes more sense as long as I'm making a profit.

No doubt if/when I get good enough to make this a serious second job (I do have a job and I'm not going to quit this unless I become a real expert making tons of poker money) Then it will become boring and tiering to play poker all the time.

Get a goal find something you want to do with your life and with the money that you can pull out of this.

Finally: Don't worry be happy, you've got all the reason in the world to do this. You decide when you wanna "work" etc. Find pleasure in the small things in life go out and enjoy life whenever the weather is good. Buy a laptop go to the beach the park etc. and play from there all of a sudden you'll meat people. Get an animal be it cat/dog or an akvarium (i have this and it looks awesome in my appartment)this will help you stress down

[aflaba]

[ QUOTE ]
my current diet pretty much consists of salads, fruits, nuts, smoked turkey sandwiches with mushrooms, lettuce and hotsauce on wheat and i mainly drink water, but have coffee some days along with some ice tea sometimes.

[/ QUOTE ]

Those are good foods!


[ QUOTE ]
i usually buy my salads at mcdonalds and according to their nutrional info the salads are 350 calories and that includes dressing, and the fruits, walnuts and yogurt is 310. i eat 3 or 4 of these things daily with basically nothing else.

[/ QUOTE ]

Those are great fruits as well. But I don't understand why you buy your food from Micky D's, but I'm sure you have a reason. I wouldn't trust them enough to eat their food regularily.


[ QUOTE ]
when i get the large turkey sub that is all i eat for the day usually, except for a small bag of chips because it comes with it. i suppose i should stop eating that garbage and replace it with nuts or fruit or something.

[/ QUOTE ]

It's ok to eat some unhealthy food. As long as it's moderate. But as JKratzer wrote you should have more meals. That is important for increasing metabolism and feeling more energized all day. Increasing metabolism helps you lose fat and build muscle.


[ QUOTE ]
i probably could use more protein though. maybe i should get the slim protein shakes. what do you think of that?

[/ QUOTE ]

It's not nessicery at all to eat as much protein as I do. But your diet seems to be very low on protein so it should be good for you to increase your intake, especially when you start training, to keep and if you want to grow muscle mass.

I wouldn't recommend shakes though. Real food is always superior. Real food is stuffed with micronutrients and it gives you fullness and it's way way yummier. I'd redommend salmon/other fish in particular for protein and healthy fats. But eat whatever proteinsource you like. And variate freely.


[ QUOTE ]
i could start eating oatmeal but i dont think id want to eat whey.

[/ QUOTE ]

Oatmeal is really great food. Great source of complex carbs and lots of needed micronutrients.

Whey = Very fast digestive protein powder derived from diary. Good to eat before and just after training.

Kasein = Very slow digestive protein powder derived from diary. Good to eat before bedtime.

Until you get serious with training there is no need for protein powders though, just keep eating good and yummy real food like you're doing and add some real food protein like you suggested yourself.


EDIT: Yesterday I wrote a bit about which exercises I feel are "the best". For basic instructions check out www.exrx.net (http://www.exrx.net)

[helpmeout]

[ QUOTE ]
mcdonalds and according to their nutritional info the salads are 350 calories

[/ QUOTE ]

lol what a con 350 calories in a salad thats rediculous.

Dont eat that crap, if you are going to have a salad dont have dressing with it, otherwise you might as well be having a burger and fries.

Instead of wasting money eating some poor excuse for a healthy salad at McDonalds go to the damn grocery store and buy the stuff yourself.

Being healthy isnt hard, just have a balanced diet and eat in moderation. Eating a steak is fine as long as its not a 1 pound steak, thats just how it is.

You only need a lot of protein if you are trying to build a lot of muscle. Just get the regular amount from meat (just dont cook it in oil)

[aflaba]

amen

[Baulucky]

Hey man. Great soul baring post.

I only have one thing to add to previous advice given here:

Remember that you can always stop, and change plans. It is your life to live.

[sfer]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Not even 21 and you've completely thrown your life away. "Rounders" will do that to some people.

[/ QUOTE ]

If you wouldnt mind, will you please you kill yourself tonight? Its probably best for all parties.

[/ QUOTE ]

PorscheNGuns is teller of hard truths. Needless to say, I'm quitting poker, even though the rakeback is sweet.

[einbert]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Not even 21 and you've completely thrown your life away. "Rounders" will do that to some people.

[/ QUOTE ]

If you wouldnt mind, will you please you kill yourself tonight? Its probably best for all parties.

[/ QUOTE ]

PorscheNGuns is teller of hard truths. Needless to say, I'm quitting poker, even though the rakeback is sweet.

[/ QUOTE ]

I'm sure you'll be "missed".

[SL__72]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Many people in this thread, OP not included, should kill themselves.

Great post. Golf is a good idea. And I'll echo those suggesting you take some classes up at a local community college. Poker is no wicked jumpshot, nor crack rock.

[/ QUOTE ]

good Boiler Room refernece. A lot of good advice in that movie, especially don't pitch the bitch.

[/ QUOTE ]

Actually its a biggie quote.

If I wasn't in the rap game
I'd probably have a key knee deep in the crack game
Because the streets is a short stop
Either you're slingin crack rock or you got a wicked jumpshot

[chief444]

Have you considered maybe going to school for something, at least part time, now that you seem to have the finances to do so?

[zerosum]

The advice from El Diablo is important. Please consider it.

[ QUOTE ]
El Diablo wrote:

[ QUOTE ]
One thing I've said in the past is that many of the young people here, especially those who quit college to play poker, will never have a chance to be exposed to many really interesting careers - whether that be in business, finance, academia, art, science or whatever else. Now that you've spent some time as a poker pro, I'd encourage you to pursue an education that will allow you to try out a bunch of different areas. Getting a college degree and working for a consulting firm is one good way to get exposed to a lot of different industries and see what lots of different roles do on a day-to-day basis. There are many other routes you can take as well, that's just one. Then, hopefully, one of those things strikes you as something worth really focusing on.

[/ QUOTE ]

[/ QUOTE ]

[LIRob23]

[Emperor]

I think you grossly overestimate the value of a college education.

Last week a study was released that said: historically the net earnings difference between a college graduate and a high school graduate IS LESS THAN what parents would see as return on their money if they invested in the stock market instead of their children's college education.

Also, while there are some career paths that will never be outsourced or eliminated by technology. There are many others that will. Choose carefully or you will be going back to college every 7-10 years when your job gets sent to India, or those new IBM servers don't need your assistance.

Or like me you might just get burnt out.

I spent 8 years in IT and got sick of it.
I spent 3 years in sales and sucked at it.
I spent 5 years in playing poker. Going on 2yrs pro. Its boring sometimes, but It beats a job anyday.

Colleges teach you what you need to know to get a job by the way. Jobs suck because:

1. 66% of America is addicted to drugs & alcohol, this WILL affect your "office politics."
2. That doesn't include morons cheating on their wives, defrauding the company, or doing some othe detrimental behavior that inevitably you get sucked into just by being in the vicinity. (I'm not saying you'll do these things,just that your coworkers doing them will drive you crazy as it affects "office politics"
3. Ego's. People suck. Think about all the morons at the poker table online, those are the same people you'll be working with, and you won't be able to turn it off when you get tired.
4. Pay. Most jobs you are stuck in some sort of scale you can't overcome by pure effort like poker (sales may be an exception) Most jobs require effort + time + playing politics.

Now earlier I reccomended he go to college, but not to get a job. Definitely start your own business, whatever that may be, preferrably something with no employees and as few customers as possible.

People Suck.

[Catt]

[ QUOTE ]
Definitely start your own business, whatever that may be, preferrably something with no employees and as few customers as possible.

[/ QUOTE ]

Your ideas intrigue me. Are you looking for an investor, 'cause I'm in.

[lozen]

Appreciate the honesty.
Suggestions
-Golf was a great idea. Youll meet lots of people and when you tell them you play poker for a living they will be envious. But the natural Golf DVD great for the new golfer
-Join a gym and get a trainer It will keep you motivated. Who cares waht others think. You wull be surprised as the results start to show how many people will compliment you. Same boat as previous poster ex College soccer player went to Vegas and disgusted how fat I was. Bet my buddies i would be in shape by October or I pay for a round of golf when we head back.
-Volunteer surprised nobody has suggested this. You will meet tons of people this way and it feels great.
- Get a dog it will encourage you to get out walk and again great icebreaker and a great friend. remeber though commitment for life.
- consider seeing a therapist it can be very helpfull.

[PorscheNGuns]

I want to point out the "gems" of advice in this post:

1. College educations are overrated

2. Parents should invest in the stock market instead of sending their kids to college

3. Jobs suck and require effort

4. Start a business with no employees and few customers

Let me guess - you threatened to move to Canada if John Kerry lost but were too lazy to follow through on it

-Matt

[Paluka]

[ QUOTE ]
I think you grossly overestimate the value of a college education.

[/ QUOTE ]

They may overvalue the worth dollarwise, but undervalue the experience as a whole.

[ QUOTE ]

Last week a study was released that said: historically the net earnings difference between a college graduate and a high school graduate IS LESS THAN what parents would see as return on their money if they invested in the stock market instead of their children's college education.


[/ QUOTE ]

This statistic says much more about the stock market than it does about college. There is no reason to think the market will perform going forward like it has the past 50 years.

[ QUOTE ]

Also, while there are some career paths that will never be outsourced or eliminated by technology. There are many others that will. Choose carefully or you will be going back to college every 7-10 years when your job gets sent to India, or those new IBM servers don't need your assistance.


[/ QUOTE ]

College is not the same as job-training.

[ QUOTE ]

Or like me you might just get burnt out.

I spent 8 years in IT and got sick of it.
I spent 3 years in sales and sucked at it.
I spent 5 years in playing poker. Going on 2yrs pro. Its boring sometimes, but It beats a job anyday.



[/ QUOTE ]

The whole point of this was to open up his options so that he could find something he would not get burnt out at.

[sfer]

One thing that I think is important but isn't particularly clear to me is whether you like (1) poker, (2) money, (3) getting better at something, or some combination of the three. Obviously, each has its own implications.

[sfer]

[ QUOTE ]
Are you going to start taking classes at age 23 when you should have graduated by now. Completing your degree at age 27 isn't going to impress anyone looking to hire you.

[/ QUOTE ]

Have you ever hired anyone?

[SmileyEH]

[ QUOTE ]
One thing that I think is important but isn't particularly clear to me is whether you like (1) poker, (2) money, (3) getting better at something, or some combination of the three. Obviously, each has its own implications.

[/ QUOTE ]

I doubt someone could be as sucessful as tstone without elements of all three.

-SmileyEH

[IndieMatty]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Are you going to start taking classes at age 23 when you should have graduated by now. Completing your degree at age 27 isn't going to impress anyone looking to hire you.

[/ QUOTE ]

Have you ever hired anyone?

[/ QUOTE ]


You're disagreeing? Human Resources HATES people who take "time off".

[sfer]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Are you going to start taking classes at age 23 when you should have graduated by now. Completing your degree at age 27 isn't going to impress anyone looking to hire you.

[/ QUOTE ]

Have you ever hired anyone?

[/ QUOTE ]


You're disagreeing? Human Resources HATES people who take "time off".

[/ QUOTE ]

They are less impressed with people who never graduated from college.

[IndieMatty]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Are you going to start taking classes at age 23 when you should have graduated by now. Completing your degree at age 27 isn't going to impress anyone looking to hire you.

[/ QUOTE ]

Have you ever hired anyone?

[/ QUOTE ]


You're disagreeing? Human Resources HATES people who take "time off".

[/ QUOTE ]

They are less impressed with people who never graduated from college.

[/ QUOTE ]

Oh of course...

[andyfox]

As an old guy, I know more B&M pros than internet pros. I would say the vast majority of them are not happy or well-balanced people. I suspect most of them were that way before they became poker pros, but certainly some became that way, or had these tendencies exaggerated, because of their poker-playing.

I've spoken to a few younger 2+2 internet pros and they have similar feelings to those you've expressed. Many of them are quite sharp; they tend to lose interest in poker as it becomes an income-generating grind or they find things other than poker that are inherently more interesting or rewarding or fulfilling or challenging to them.

As a general rule, for every person I've seen who could be a self-motivating can-do type working in a solitary fashion out of their home, I've known twenty who let things slide and become mentally and physically lazy.

El Diablo's advice, to get educated, so that all sorts of other possibilities are opened up to you, is excellent. You can still be an occasional or part-time player, be very tough at the table and make a nice auxilliary income, and make an emjoyable life for yourself.

I take it from your post you're about 20. I'm 52. I know it sounds like a crock, but one day you will wake up and look in the mirror and there will be a 52 year-old man looking back at you and you'll regret the time that isn't there any more. Make the most of it, don't settle for doing something that makes you feel as you've indicated you feel in your post.

BTW, terrific post. Best wishes to you.

[Paluka]

[ QUOTE ]
As an old guy, I know more B&M pros than internet pros. I would say the vast majority of them are not happy or well-balanced people. I suspect most of them were that way before they became poker pros, but certainly some became that way, or had these tendencies exaggerated, because of their poker-playing.

I've spoken to a few younger 2+2 internet pros and they have similar feelings to those you've expressed. Many of them are quite sharp; they tend to lose interest in poker as it becomes an income-generating grind or they find things other than poker that are inherently more interesting or rewarding or fulfilling or challenging to them.

As a general rule, for every person I've seen who could be a self-motivating can-do type working in a solitary fashion out of their home, I've known twenty who let things slide and become mentally and physically lazy.

El Diablo's advice, to get educated, so that all sorts of other possibilities are opened up to you, is excellent. You can still be an occasional or part-time player, be very tough at the table and make a nice auxilliary income, and make an emjoyable life for yourself.

I take it from your post you're about 20. I'm 52. I know it sounds like a crock, but one day you will wake up and look in the mirror and there will be a 52 year-old man looking back at you and you'll regret the time that isn't there any more. Make the most of it, don't settle for doing something that makes you feel as you've indicated you feel in your post.

BTW, terrific post. Best wishes to you.

[/ QUOTE ]

Great post Andy.

[bicyclekick]

nice post.

[irish79]

That post took guts man-nice job.

Look I don't want to offend you or for you to think that I am a bible thumping lunatic. But if you really want to meet solid, caring individuals check out a couple of churches in your area.

I was lost and into a lot of stuff that was really detrimental to my health and overall well being. With the help of a few friends I was able to quit the things I was doing and found poker about the same time. It gave me a great way to focus my energy in a "more productive" manner then I was doing. As much as I was living and breathing poker I still wasn't completely fulfilled.

I had never been a religious person, but I thought what the heck I'll give it a shot. I found a group of people who didn't judge what I had done in the past and were always willing to help me in some capacity.

Look I'm not a crazy religious nut, but I found some true frendships in my church. I was clear about my love for poker and no one has ever judged me for playing it. My situation may be unique-but I would be willing to bet you could get some of that missing social interaction with a few people in a healthy atmoshpere.

Caution: Find a church that has a lot of youth/ a youth programs. I have had some nasty/judgemental experiences at churches that were populated by "older generations" if you know what I mean.

Hope I didn't offend any 2+2ers with the religion bit. But it may help get you out of your funk and fill some kind of void.

[hotsauce615]

2 of my friends went pro not to long ago, and they're the ones that got me into it. I've been paying off my heating bills for the past couple months with online winnings because of their influence. What they do is take a lot of vacations. They told me that helps to ease the burnout and stress of hitting a bad run of cards. Also play less games, it'll become less of a chore for you. You also aren't workin for 'the man', so that's nice in my opinion. Also get in my shoes and spend every single morning getting up at 4am so I can sit in an editing suite for 9 hours. I need to be in bed by 8 every night and that crushes my social life. No matter what job you do its going to have serious implications on your social life at some point or another, and that's just part of growing up, whether it be a 9 to 5, or online poker.

[Indiana]

You need to take a week off and go to Amsterdam. Believe me, this is your solution. When you return you will understand. It is a place like no other...

Indy

[TStoneMBD]

my schedule isnt very satisfying to me, but its the way it is becasue poker is most profitable late at night. i usually wake up at around 3pm est, not something that is appealing to me but the way that it is.

ive thought about taking vacations alot lately, and will probably do some shortly. i dont have a laptop atm but have been telling myself i should buy one for so long. i should probably take a plane out to aruba... or amsterdam(??) and get in 30 hours on my laptop while spending the rest of the time partying.

[sublime]

get a dog

[TStoneMBD]

i thought about getting a dog or a cat, but dont know if that is a good idea. for 1, my landlord requires a $250 one time fee if i decide to get a pet. also, its not fair to the animal if i decide to leave the country for several months next year. other than that, id love to get a dog or a cat though, its just probably not a good idea right now though unfortunately.

[lozen]

[ QUOTE ]
Look I don't want to offend you or for you to think that I am a bible thumping lunatic. But if you really want to meet solid, caring individuals check out a couple of churches in your area.


[/ QUOTE ]

Religion Kills !

[tpir90036]

[ QUOTE ]
Some of you had some really negative things to say, that do not benefit me in anyway

[/ QUOTE ]
This could not be further from the truth. While they might have been worded in a way that was not to your liking... the negative comments are only accenting things you pointed out yourself. How can you talk about brtual honesty but then get all fussy when people are brtually honest with you? I know you might be "ignoring" him... but Paluka's first reply of decent length was right on the money. The bottom line is that you have most likely made some mistakes. You also realize you made them but you want to pick and choose who says it and how they say it.

Good luck. And I mean that. Because I am sure you are a good kid deep down inside. Go outside and get some friends. If i had to choose between my friends and poker I would never look at this site or a single card or chip ever again. And it's not close.

[Emperor]

Hey thanks for lying about everything I said.

1. I did not say college educations are over-rated. I said that the poster who thought if you didn't get one by age 22, it didn't matter anyway.

2. I never said parents should invest in the stock market instead. I was using results of a study to show the poster that the difference in earnings is not the #1 consideration

3. Yes Jobs suck and Yes they require effort? Can you prove me wrong?

4. The millionare next door says the #1 thing millionare's have in common is that they all started a small business. Small businesses are great, ESPECIALLY if you are a B2B company and not a B2C company, as dealing with addicts in a business environment is no fun, in my opinion.

John Kerry is a treasonous socialist. I am a conservative Christian capitalist. My suggestion would be for you to stop lying about other peoples posts, and post something intelligent of your own.

[Stuey]

[ QUOTE ]
A word of warning: though you don't know it, you are completely defenseless against women, and if you are not careful you will be destroyed.

I'm being completely serious.

[/ QUOTE ]

To the OP

Plus, how much sunlight are you getting?
I'm being completely serious also. Everyone has problems but not many people notice or confront them. No offense, but your problems don't even sound that bad, you just have a high standard. /images/graemlins/laugh.gif

Also if you are young and have no health problems feel free to exercise very hard you will be fine. You can run a 7 minute mile in less than 1 month if you try as hard as you did to learn poker. Training (http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/showflat.php?Cat=&Number=2611635&page=&view=&sb=5& o=&fpart=1&vc=1) your body is much faster than training the mind. gl

[TStoneMBD]

i think i get a good amount of sunlight compared to the average person. there is alot of sunlight shining through my apartment and when i go out during the day its usually during peak sunlight times. i know that my problems arent that serious. some people here are seriously taking things way too far. im sure that all their lives are perfect in every way.

[TStoneMBD]

paluka obviously has something against me. he has always had crap to say in my posts and therefore i choose to ignore him. i also choose to ignore some of the other posts in this thread for similiar reasons.

[tpir90036]

[ QUOTE ]
paluka obviously has something against me. he has always had crap to say in my posts and therefore i choose to ignore him. i also choose to ignore some of the other posts in this thread for similiar reasons.

[/ QUOTE ]
Fine. Just read Andy's post then.

[B Dids]

[ QUOTE ]
I'm not old enough to go to bars and don't have a job so my options are limited.

[/ QUOTE ]

As somebody who has a lot of struggles with social anxiety myself, this simply isn't true.

It's not hard to meet people, and if you're not doing it, it's because of decisions you're making, not your environment.

One of the things with poker, is that it takes these kids who would have been playing Quake 24/7 and then enables them to do this for a living. So instead of graduating and moving into a real world where you have to stop playing Quake and grow up, you just keep sitting there infront of the screen. (I'm not saying this is you, but I think that it's something that hits/will hit a lot of younger players).

Don't let yourself be an anti-social person. Speaking from experience, it's not fun, and you'll regret missing out on so much of life.

Cards is fun, and it's not so fun when it's an obligation. Working a job that you don't love can still be OK because of the people around you, but if you're working a job you don't love and don't have any people around you- that's not happy times.

[Ed Miller]

[ QUOTE ]
You should make a list of goals that you want to accomplish for the year. Make it totally personal and tell nobody. Prioritize them and then write down steps and measures you will take to achieve them. I do this every Jan 2.


You might be suprised what's on top. Unless your El Diablo, then it's F as many girls as possible, every year.

This will help you decide if friends, money, girls, stability, etc. are most important to you currently.

[/ QUOTE ]

I didn't read the rest of the posts, but I can already tell you this is going to be the best advice you get in the thread.

[vpaco]

better yet. go to thailand. i have just finished my second year as a pro and have traveled extensively during that time. i play in internet cafes (change your password frequently). the cheap life of some of these beautiful places def takes some stress out of having to perform constantly... but i must admit that my disenchantment for the game has grown like yours and now i only play a few hours a week to cover costs.

[theRealMacoy]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Some of you had some really negative things to say, that do not benefit me in anyway

[/ QUOTE ]

This could not be further from the truth. While they might have been worded in a way that was not to your liking... the negative comments are only accenting things you pointed out yourself. How can you talk about brtual honesty but then get all fussy when people are brtually honest with you? I know you might be "ignoring" him... but Paluka's first reply of decent length was right on the money. The bottom line is that you have most likely made some mistakes. You also realize you made them but you want to pick and choose who says it and how they say it.


Good luck. And I mean that. Because I am sure you are a good kid deep down inside. Go outside and get some friends. If i had to choose between my friends and poker I would never look at this site or a single card or chip ever again. And it's not close.

[/ QUOTE ]



First of all i appreciate the courage and honesty of your post; however i must agree with what tpir is saying about you being touchy about some of the feedback you are getting.

Unfortunately, when you decide to drop your pants in a cry for help like this you have to be ready for a few needles, particularly when you have been a self-confessed arogant ass much of the time on this forum. You asked for it, so learn as much as you can from this experience (from both your supporters and detractors). Ultimately, you have created every facet of the world in which you find yourelf, the more responsiblity for it you accept the greater your ability to move forward. The fist step in really enjoying life, wherever it may be taking you, is to come to terms with and accept yourself as a person.

I wish you all the best in this difficult time.

Cheers,
the Real Macoy

[Indiana]

vpaco,

kewl. How is thai life? How much american $ per month u need there to live? Nice beaches? Easy to find clean pretty girl?

Please do tell,

Indy

[sthief09]

awesome [censored] post

[EStreet20]

Hey TStone,

Some of your posts have heled me in the past so I figured I'd try some words of encouragement. First off, cut out the sleeping the day away. Summer's here, wake up and run on your treadmill, go outside and enjoy the weather. No BS, you'll find it helps you relax and feel better.

As far as getting down about poker and not finding it exciting I'll tell you my motto regarding work when people complain about their jobs, all of which pay more than mine. I say, "The worst day of vacation is better than the best day of work." IE, remeber you are a professional, this is your living and you have to grind it out, even if it sucks. Then step back and realize that there are far worse things people do for a living, and it should help you feel better. Also, schedule in some vacations and breaks from poker. You need to every now and then in order to refresh yorself mentally.

Also, don't forget to stay in touch with your old friends, even though you've moved away. During one of your vacations you can visit with them, take a trip to AC or Vegas with them etc.

Last, thanks for the contributions you've made on this forum that have helped me out. I finally have a stable poker dedicated BR that I havne't had to touch for unexpected reasons and I feel like I'm making great strides as a player and I remember your name as one with some good points in a lot of discussions.

Good luck dude,
Matt

[1800GAMBLER]

This thread has convinced me to go back to college. I'm on the exact same path as TStone and dropped out last year due to lack of interest in my course and for poker, at the time i thought i was the 'one' it was right for; i thought when everyone said 'you learn life lessons at college' that i had already learned them all, at 19.

I was dismissive from advice from paluka and Diablo and now once again Diablo gets to say 'you should have just listened to me the first time'; hopefully i'll soon grow out of this and just learn the first time. I've had a great year with poker and other interests, i don't regret it, but i feel i need to balance my life again now. thanks for the thread.

[1800GAMBLER]

[ QUOTE ]
my schedule isnt very satisfying to me, but its the way it is becasue poker is most profitable late at night. i usually wake up at around 3pm est, not something that is appealing to me but the way that it is.

ive thought about taking vacations alot lately, and will probably do some shortly. i dont have a laptop atm but have been telling myself i should buy one for so long. i should probably take a plane out to aruba... or amsterdam(??) and get in 30 hours on my laptop while spending the rest of the time partying.

[/ QUOTE ]

This is exactly what you don't want to do. Man, for effing once forget the laptop, go on an effing holiday, [censored] the money, stop thinking of how many hours you can get in while on a flight or if you should wake up early in amsterdam to play at peak american times.

Man, tomorrow, wake up, shower, get something to eat, and do something, either walk a long distance, take a train journey somewhere, drive for 4 hours, rent a room for the night, do something, just effing prove that you are free and free from the grip of poker having you by the balls and infecting upwards through you. You're like a dog chained up to a back garden pole.

I respect you for the thread but your follow ups have been awful, you realised the problem but wont do anything to resolve it. Stuff like this:

[ QUOTE ]
i thought about getting a dog or a cat, but dont know if that is a good idea. for 1, my landlord requires a $250 one time fee if i decide to get a pet. also, its not fair to the animal if i decide to leave the country for several months next year. other than that, id love to get a dog or a cat though, its just probably not a good idea right now though unfortunately.

[/ QUOTE ]

It's $250, which is probably 2 hours of poker for you? Plus, the chances of you travelling seem 0% you are just fondling with the idea to make yourself feel like you have a solution. Exactly what odds would you lay yourself on you going away? 2:1? 10:1? 100:1?

[TStoneMBD]

i will take a vacation somewhere in a few months. 95%.

i will move out of here within 2 years 90%.

my estimation.

[TimM]

I'm struggling with some of the same things. But my situation is a little different, since I'm 38 years old. I did the college thing and had at least 5 very different jobs over the years. If I never had to work for anyone but myself ever again that would be fine with me. My goals (J V style) for this year and probably next year too are: putting away as much money as possible, losing weight, and getting my teeth fixed (about one year left of this). The "F as many girls as possible" goal is on hold for now. /images/graemlins/frown.gif

I do feel a little like I am always waiting though - it gets depressing. I do the whole "wake up at 2PM, don't leave the apartment for days sometimes" thing. This is why I made sure I got out to Vegas for the 2+2 thing, and I will be taking a trip for 5 days next week where I will play no poker at all. In fact I kind of regret the amount of poker I played last Sunday at the Wynn. I should have gone over to the Rio instead.

Anyway, I'm only about 5 months into this thing, and still in the bankroll building and moving up stage. Maybe I will figure out what I want to do about these other things before I get to the one year mark. If I can get to a decent win rate in dollars per hour, that would definitely help.

I don't really have any advice other than what was already said. I hope you listen to it, even the stuff that is not sugar-coated.

[Tyler]

keke

[sully4321]

[ QUOTE ]
It's better to burn out than to fade away...

[/ QUOTE ]

r.i.p. kurt cobain

[sully4321]

[ QUOTE ]
Some of you had some really excellent things to say, I appreciate that. Some of you had some really negative things to say, that do not benefit me in anyway, and I do not appreciate that. Hey, negative comments are bound to come with a thread that contains so much open material that it makes it easy for someone to take shots at you.

[/ QUOTE ]

Those people just are. not. cool. Period.


Very open and honest post, I truly enjoyed reading it and it made me step back and take a look at my own life. I am very far from making a living off playing poker, but my profits do rival my minimum wage income (I am 18 and live with my parents). I have spent many a late night playing poker online, often losing sleep over a bad beat or a mistake in my strategy. I have realized that my hobby has become an addiction strictly on the self-reflection that came from reading your post, and for that I thank you.

I am going to start running as you and several other posters have inspired me to do so. My advice to you is not to take life so seriously. Get drunk, smoke weed, go skinny dipping... whatever. Just be open and energetic to complete strangers and they will match your energy. The few who don't are not worth being friends with anyway (kind of like filtering out the small suited connectors with a pre-flop raise /images/graemlins/wink.gif)...

You're the man.

[clutch]

[ QUOTE ]
I want to point out the "gems" of advice in this post:

1. College educations are overrated

2. Parents should invest in the stock market instead of sending their kids to college

3. Jobs suck and require effort

4. Start a business with no employees and few customers

Let me guess - you threatened to move to Canada if John Kerry lost but were too lazy to follow through on it

-Matt

[/ QUOTE ]

I don't know why anyone saying not to go to college would be threatened by Kerry losing the election. Colleges in general are liberal strongholds, doh.

[O71394658]

[ QUOTE ]
i will take a vacation somewhere in a few months. 95%.

i will move out of here within 2 years 90%.

my estimation.

[/ QUOTE ]

Yo bro, I know you probably live far away as of now, but during the school year, I'll definitely be making some trips up to TStone and Foxwoods, so if you need a similarly-aged person to talk to about anything, you can PM me.

[TStoneMBD]

i dont live anywhere near turningstone anymore, but i live close to foxwoods. next time you travel out this way let me know.

[Bill C]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
unnecessarily harsh IMO.

[/ QUOTE ]

I had to be harsh if I was going to be sincere. I have been a dick to him, and I do think most of his posts make him sound like a total moron. But my advice to him on how to make himself happier was genuine.

[/ QUOTE ]

It is not necessary to be harsh in order to achieve sincerety. What of kindness? Decency? Wisdom?
Certainly this guy has made a few mistakes, but he seems like a decent guy who works hard, but has very limited social skills. I can't see where kicking him, at this point, can be helpful to him in any way, when he seems to be struggling.
Paluka, you may have a few "issues" of your own.
(Just being sincere.)

Just my $.02 worth...

bill c

[wildwood]

"Twenty years from now you will be more dissappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones that you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover." Mark Twain

[SippinSoma]

[ QUOTE ]
i will take a vacation somewhere in a few months. 95%.

i will move out of here within 2 years 90%.

my estimation.

[/ QUOTE ]

This is not enough.

[TStoneMBD]

that is not enough? i dont know what is. after reconsidering, those estimations are a bit high. i could run bad over the next few months and not feel comfortable spending money on a vacation. i could meet my future wife and feel obligated to stay here.

[Stuck]

[ QUOTE ]
i could meet my future wife and feel obligated to stay here.

[/ QUOTE ]

How? Online mail-order bride?

j/k /images/graemlins/tongue.gif

[TStoneMBD]

Why thank you, Captain rain on my parade man.

[B Dids]

Again, speaking from experience, this kind of bet hedging and excuse making is what keeps you from doing stuff. You can't say "I'm planning on doing xxxx". 'Cause you won't, no matter how much you plan.

You have no reason whatsoever not to get on Expedia and plan a trip somewhere right now, so do it. You're young, have money and are pretty obligationless. Go book a flight, as you can tell from this thread, there's probably somebody you know in a lot of places and they'd be willing to do [censored] with you (although you may want to avoid Brooklyn).

You have this great advantage of life not limiting you in what you can do, and you should work with that before you find yourself a grown-up who has those limits placed upon them.

[ThreeMartini]

Great post. Here's my $.02

Buy a Harley. Join the country club. Don't sleep more than 8 hrs a night. Get up early. Exercise. Get some sun.
Eat healthy. Basically take some time off, your in an enviable spot.

[TStoneMBD]

i dont understand why people are doubting me when i say im going to take a vacation soon. just for that, IM NOT GOING SO THERE HAH.

i do get your point though concerning the general scheme of things, but i am going to take a flight somewhere shortly. i still dont have a laptop and wanted to wait on the trip until i got one so i can play there during downtimes.

and for your info, i have spent alot of time on expedia.com researching travel options and how much plane tickets cost to where.

[B Dids]

[ QUOTE ]
i still dont have a laptop and wanted to wait on the trip until i got one so i can play there during downtimes.


[/ QUOTE ]

That is not a vacation.

Seriously. Go somewhere and don't talk or think poker. No playing, no reading 2+2, be something other than a poker player for a week.

[imported_stealthcow]

first, i'm not trying to tell you what you should or shouldn't do, because i realize that i have no right to. but i've always respsected the honesty of your posts and your play, and i hope in exchange you'll respect my advice.

this summer i went on a trip with 3 other twoplustwoers (drgutshot, caneman08 and rakein) to europe for 3 weeks. other then seeing family in switzerland, and a stop over in london once, i hadn't seen much of europe. we're all 19, and other then a small road trip to look at canadian universities, i had never been traveling with just friends.


i'd highly recommend going on a trip, and going before the summer is over. there are tons of travelers, tons of poeple to meet. i'd recommend going to places like florence, and looking at a cathedral door which a man spent 20 yrs reguarly working to make a door panel which is 8ft by 3ft. when he finished that one door, he won the right to build the design on a door next to it, spending another 20+ years to work on that one.

climb st. pauls catherdal. see the mona lisa. if you want to party all night, go to citys like amsterdam (which i didn't visit) or barcelona (which i did and highly recommend). go to the louvre, go to the arc de triomphe or see the roman ruins. or, if you want something differnet, go to the middle of the countryside. go to a small fishing village on the coast of italy, or the southern countryside of france (another thing i didn't do but want to). find out what you want to do, maybe tentative plans. if you fall in love with a place, stay- hostels are cheap, flexible and plentiful.

europe was awesome in that there was way more to see, way more history, more culture (or maybe just a different one) then i have seen.

this trip taught me more about the idea that i want to travel more whenever i have enough money saved up, that when regarding places i want to live when i'm older, the US isn't on the top of the list anymore. that i need to learn at the very least one other language. that i spend too much time on the computer, that i should continue to try to get into better and better shape, and there are things that i should do while i'm still young. (currently wanting to do the running of the bulls in spain, go hang gliding ).

during the trip i spent maybe 3 hrs on a computer. i called my parents 3x i think* and in some ways would've preferred that i had spent 0 hrs on teh computer. my friends, while i was really happy to have them there, i will travel without the next time i travel. they talked a little bit about poker, but i put in a full effort to never mention or discuss it. i just didn't want to.

you're young, you have money and a stable form of income. you can live wherever you want. you should travel around canada, around california, around anywhere on the map that interests you, and see if you want to live there.

spend time there and find out what you want to do now. money's great, and pokers fun, but come on. you're too young and judging by how you've engulfed yourself on 2+2, probably too ambitious to let yourself spend all your time multi tabling.

you could get another job, do volunteer work, learn another language etc etc. but obviously, the choice will (and should) lie with you.

ian

[Prelude008]

Hey Tstoney stone :-)

Good post. You seem to have a good head on your shoulders, know and have thought out reasons for doing what you are doing as well as an awareness of things that you want to and/or are not doing.

You decided to go pro at an early age. You said that you would study for 30-40 hours a week to prepare for the bigger games, it seems to have paid off. You realized
that you needed to know more and did what you had to do. My props for you for doing what you needed to succeed.

Right now, poker is your job. IMHO, jobs are boring. Sure there are people who truly do what they love (w/ good compensation) - but I think this is rare - not the norm. I went to college, "fell" into a job that I've been doing for a long time. It's boring, unchallenging,
advancement-challenged, but it's "comfortable" and pays the bills. I know I've become complacent. I guess I am trying to say that since poker is your job, then I think the burnout you are feeling and the lack of passion seem normal from my perspective.

I agree with the many posts about finding another hobby. It will be a fun way to spend your time and break up the monotony.

Also, people have been giving lots of opinions about your friends and social situation. Some people need lots of people around them while others (myself included) have a small circle of really close friends. You may fit
in the latter category, so having a large number of friends for the sake of having them might not be any more fulfilling for you.

Also, you've gotten a lot of college advice. If you watched the Apprentice, Donald had two teams college educated and street smarts. The street smart (non college) team had a higher net worth collectively than the college grads and they performed equally well on all of the tasks and challenges. While I think college is important, it may not be for everyone.

Lastly (not meant in a negative way) , you said yourself "The one liners usually consist of me correcting people, putting people down, making humorous posts that may be insulting to someone else". Reflect on this and ease up when posts made to you that you may not agree with or like.

Congrats on your success! Keep winning.

[OtisTheMarsupial]

[ QUOTE ]
You should make a list of goals that you want to accomplish for the year. Make it totally personal and tell nobody. Prioritize them and then write down steps and measures you will take to achieve them.

[/ QUOTE ]

I wholeheartedly agree, except on the part about seeping them secret. I have found that sharing my goals with others does two things:

1. Makes them real and helps motivate me to achieve them for fear of looking like a loser

but more importantly
2. Let's your friends help - sometimes they can do magic!

[Aeioux]

A question for you stealth cow... Are you in college, and if you are have you though about studying abroad. I studied abroad in Spain and it was one of the best decisions of my life. The things I saw and did and the friends I made I will have for the rest of my life.

If you are in college definitley do this!

[RYL]

Hire a psychologist. That's the only advice I can give you.

[jgorham]

Vacations don't need to be far away either. I like to go camping, and every time am shocked how much a weekend away can do.

[MicroBob]

Can't possibly read all the responses in this thread. Sorry if some or all of this has been covered.

Nice post. Your ability to find your own honesty is certainly a commendable attribute.


Golf: I've never broken 100.

I really suck and just don't enjoy it that much....but to each their own.
My Dad is an avid golfer and I had clubs when I was 7 yrs old.
I've just never been able to do it.


I don't exactly have a whole boat-load of friends here in Memphis but fully acknowledge that's my own damn fault.


I mostly have my GF... and a handful of people I only kinda/sorta know.
I keep in touch with a couple of out-of-town friends of course...but that's not the same as having a local social-network.


I do think that golf or some other gym/raquet-club type membership could be helpful.
My rec-league soccer-team has been good for a couple of new acquintences.

I'm less bashful about what I do for a living now. If asked I just say it straight-up that I play poker (usually qualified by a "this is going to sound kind of silly...but...").


Now I've got an entire soccer-team in Memphis that is talking of (errr....threatening) to come to the WSOP wearing out team uniforms and cheer me on/heckle the other players at my table (and I thought zoo-sweat got pretty outrageous at times) and some other guy who wants me to get Annie Duke's phone # for him.


I only told our coach about my poker playing when he asked what it is I do...but he's played on party before (mostly play-money) and used to play when he was in the Navy. He wants tips from me on how to improve.
And he has obviously been telling his work-buddies (some of whom are on the team also).

So I'm helping him with his game a little bit...

He just got PT and his VP is around 60.
He also talks of wanting to play at 'higher limits where you can put your opponents on a hand and avoid the suck-outs because it's just too tough to beat the idiots at .5/1 who don't play real poker' or something like that.


He's a smart guy though...he just doesn't know any better yet.
He is VERY receptive to my suggestions that some of what he is saying is REALLY REALLY wrong.


Anyway - if you don't harp on it too much and are somewhat humble about it the fact that you play poker for a living can be a great conversation topic once it comes around.


hell - my GF has a few people at work who want to meet me...or her work-friends have BF's or husbands who want to meet me...just because her work-friends asked her 'so...what does your BF do for a living?'

GF doesn't know squat about poker and doesn't really care.
But her friends are all "Holy Crap!! That's the coolest thing I've ever heard. Kevin (or Roger..or whoever) would kill to meet me."
Of course...they won't be nearly as thrilled when they find that I'm not nearly as cool as they are envisioning.


also - this whole social-stuff might not be as poker-related as we might think.

It could just be partly attributed to a semi-difficult period of life in that 'transition' period.
20-25 yrs old was kind of a tough and generally insecure period for me.

Kind of thinking of this in a 'The Graduate' or 'Garden State' type of way (first two films that leap to mind about general 'heading into the real-world' angst and difficulties).
As I recall...MD has had some difficulties with his parents in the past and this IS a factor regarding one's ability and comfortability to feel like they could/should be accepted and be able to forge friendships imo.

I'm 34 now and am MUCH more comfortable in my own skin.

[Greg J]

There is a lot of great advice on this thread. There is also a lot of crappy advice. I'm not sure which this falls into (hopefully the former):

Take a college class in something that interests you. Colleges are a great place to make friends and meet chicks (or dudes if that is what you are into). Plus the class itself will hopefully be a source of intellectual fulfillment.

If that doesn't sound great, a martial arts class might be good too. That will get you some pretty good excercise. Yr Racquet club idea was also good.

Whatever you do, good luck. Being lonely sucks. It really sucks. Just try to do something that will make you happy.

[RYL]

[ QUOTE ]
Hire a psychologist. That's the only advice I can give you.

[/ QUOTE ]

When you get more money, hire a lawyer.

[SA125]

[ QUOTE ]
El Diablo's advice, to get educated, so that all sorts of other possibilities are opened up to you, is excellent. You can still be an occasional or part-time player, be very tough at the table and make a nice auxilliary income, and make an emjoyable life for yourself.

I take it from your post you're about 20. I'm 52. I know it sounds like a crock, but one day you will wake up and look in the mirror and there will be a 52 year-old man looking back at you and you'll regret the time that isn't there any more.

[/ QUOTE ]

Well said Andy and Diablo. I've posted more responses to these type of posts that I can remember and two things remain constant. One is that I've had enough life experience as a man (44, husband, father, respected profession) to know I've achieved a good amount and when speaking with people I rarely fail to receive respect from them. Therefore feel confident enough to dispense advice. The second is that, when I attempt to do the same at the computer, it never, ever comes off nearly as well as it does in person. Many times I make myself look like a troll. Which I've never been accused of face to face and makes me believe, if it were true, someone would have said it by now.

I said that to prove one thing. I think it's a line from an Aerosmith song that reflects it best. That life is a journey, not a destination.

You'll always do some good things and some bad things and make plenty of mistakes along the way. The best you can hope for is more good than bad and, as you grow older, you'll do much more that's right than that's wrong. That's life.

Paluka isn't a dick. Why would I reinforce that? I wouldn't know him if he was standing next to me. All it does is piss him off and make me look shallow. Sometimes we can get carried away with this online sh*t. Me included. If you're not even 25 and healthy MD, then smile. You have the world by the short ones.

[meanjean]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
this sounds pretty sweet. i hadnt thought about taking lessons but should do that. how much do memberships to golf courses usually cost? are they usually memberships where you can play unlimited for free or are there extra costs to use the course?

[/ QUOTE ]

Just find a public course near you. You won't need any kind of membership. You'll pay $15-$40ish a round for most public courses.

[/ QUOTE ]

great post...great advise above on golf...

my only addition would be that if you find that running aint working for you...(and I really liked the idea of working up to a 5K, if for no other reason than the 100 or so in shape women who run in them always force me to go)...buy a road bike and ride...great exercise at any level...you can putter around all summer in the sun and as you get in better shape you can start climbing mountains or big hills...not only do you get a rush from accomplishing a tough climb but you also get to fly down the other side at 35-40 mph....but the best thing about riding (or any kind of exercise) is that after a ride poker is just fun. I can't explain it, maybe the endorphins do it. I won't even play on a given day unless I exercise for at least an hour.

[Paluka]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
unnecessarily harsh IMO.

[/ QUOTE ]

I had to be harsh if I was going to be sincere. I have been a dick to him, and I do think most of his posts make him sound like a total moron. But my advice to him on how to make himself happier was genuine.

[/ QUOTE ]

It is not necessary to be harsh in order to achieve sincerety.
bill c

[/ QUOTE ]

I meant that if I wasn't harsh, he would know that I was just giving into pressure and appeasing the people in the thread who said i was being a dick.

[TStoneMBD]

i told you not to reply, yet you do so because you have to defend your idiotic remarks to prevent looking like a ** dip*. you failed. good job.

[CourtesyFlush]

Great post TStone. I was really looking for someone to talk honestly about social isolation that can occur when playing poker professionally. Thanks for this. I think you received some great advice from others that you will hopefully gain from.

Best of luck,

CF

[Buccaneer]

TStone I read your post a few days ago and was impressed with the naked honesty in it. That must have taken some motivation to do that. You touched somewhat on the effect that egos have on this board. Basically you said that some of the posters here can be insensitive jerks, that thier jerkie post affected your quest for poker knowledge in a negative way but in your quest for social acceptance here your post became curt, condensending, and attacking as well. You also appoligised which took balls. It is disturbing that you were attacked in your post yourself and they only thing that I suspect this accomplished was the bloating of many ignore files.
I have learned a lot reading your post and I am glad that this site exist. I get what I come here for when people tear apart hands and explain options. I don't get anything out of it when people tear apart each other.
Good luck in the decisions ahead of you. We all have several of these moments where we look inward for direction. You are about to make some decisions in your life. Take your time and make the ones that are right for you.

[CanIPlay]

Go to college, live in a dorm, play 20 hours a week to support yourself. You will meet people, you can exercise at the rec center, you will be investing in your future, you might find your passion in your life.
College is the best 4-6 years of your life, do not miss it. If I could have played online Poker I would have went to school for 10 years. I put my 40 hours a week in at Jack-in-the-Box, now that sucks.

[KingMedicine]

[ QUOTE ]
vpaco,

kewl. How is thai life? How much american $ per month u need there to live? Nice beaches? Easy to find clean pretty girl?

Please do tell,

Indy

[/ QUOTE ]

a bit off topic, but i just got back from a month in thailand. for vacation purposes, you can stay at an OK place on the beach for 5$ a night or a pretty nice place on the beach for $10 a night. it's definitely worth it to splurge. meals are $2-$4 most of the time.
the beaches are beautiful. the humidity is wretched. the thai girls are decent, but unless you know some of the language, good luck at getting with one. being so, learn some of the language.
all in all, thailand is awesome and cheap. go for a month and travel around. itll cost you about 500$ (not counting flight to/from).

[12AX7]

Wow, Isn't it amazing how TV made poker acceptable?

I was playing game on the strip back around '98-'99 just before this TV poker boom. Dealers then used to say, "A dude, all the local casinos are killing Vegas Poker. No one comes out here to play anymore."

Geez I had my hand on the pulse of the future and didn't even know it. LOL!

Funny how TV is the arbiter of what is "acceptable".

Wonder if I can get into the TV biz! LOL!

[12AX7]

Off topic, but I love your "screaming avatar". LOL!

Hope you don't mind, I saved a copy. /images/graemlins/smile.gif

So tell this 42 year old wanker, how did a 20 year old become a pro poker player so quickly and effectively?

[TStoneMBD]

well ive written about my story before, but basically a friend taught me how to play nl a couple years ago, and we would play heads up no limit for a few bucks just for fun all the time. i decided to read a bunch of books on poker and was a marginal player at the time.

a couple of friends decided to take me up to turningstone one night just for fun and we all sat down in the 1-3 spread limit game. my heart was racing (LOL), and i had my pair of sunglasses and everything. wow what i noob i was. i took the 1-3 game for $250 that night, which was obviously just an extreme case of luck, but i was the favorite in that game even after rake considered.

i went back a few times during a few month period and continued to do well. then one night the casino opened up a new 1/2 NL table. at this point i had already read like 5 or 6 books and was fairly good, certainly the favorite in that game at the time. the table was NUTS. this lady was open raising to 25 EVERY hand just for the hell of it. the other players werent any better either. needless to say i got lucky and made $900 that night.

i decided to sleep in the hotel and played the next day, and performed well again. i got the hotel for another night and ended up staying for about a week. i really loved the thrill of it and when i got back, after a couple of months i decided that it would make sense for me to just get an apartment up there with no lease and see if i could pull this "pro" thing off. it certainly made more sense than spending $700 on a hotel there for a week.

going pro was working out, but playing 1/2NL for a living is really hard as the stakes are simply too small. i was averaging $13/hr after a few months. i was fortunate to come across this website and studied limit poker all day and night. after a couple of months i jumped into limit games and have never looked back.

to date ive read 14 books, but havent been reading any for the past few months.

somewhat pathetic story, but it is mine and you cant have it. /images/graemlins/grin.gif

[Jgents]

[ QUOTE ]

My content in life is dwindling as my devotion to improving with poker is starting to fade. I don't know how I'm going to find happiness in the longevity of life,

[/ QUOTE ]

There's more to life that just your job--poker. Let the things life has to offer you enhance your life, not control your life and be the source of your happiness, because sooner or later you will find it that hapiness truly comes from within and not from external things. I'm sure you've heard that before.

There are so many things you can do--pursue other hobbies, go to college, travel the world, find you a nice woman to raise a family with, etc. You've made some money and you have the financial independence and freedom that alot of our population would love to have, so enjoy yourself and take full advantage of it.

Best wishes for a happy life.

[12AX7]

Sounds like an OK story to me. /images/graemlins/smile.gif

Wish I had the mental grit to recreate it. But the writing style of most poker books makes them work for me to read.

Over the years I've owned many poker books. Haven't played nearly as much as the list of titles I've had would lead one to believe though. I've owned and read through most of the famous "Pre WPT" titles. LOL! Never been able to truly *study* them with peace of mind though.

Problem is the only time I get to study things like this with any rest is when I'm unemployed! That brings other stresses, so poker has always been a somewhat back burned "someday I'll do all the in depth studying like it was a collegiate course" sort of thing.

At the minute I do have some time, so I'm trying to make up for lost time. Odds are I won't be able to recreate you success though.

But glad to see some folks have managed to make it really happen.

/images/graemlins/smile.gif

One thing is for certain though. The internet poker thing has made it possible to try it without having to move back to Vegas or CA. But I'm not sure if a global card room is +EV or -EV (for me personally) yet.

Well, as Caro would say. Straight Flushes!

[TStoneMBD]

in some senses you are luckier than i am that you have came across this forum before deciding to go pro. if i knew what i know now i never would have tried to go b&m pro at those limits and skill level. instead i would have studied here and went pro through internet play. b&m play is so outclassed by internet play for so many reasons. if you do muster up the dedication to learn poker and consider going pro, certainly dont try to go pro playing live, but online instead. playing live is certainly more socially fulfilling, but has so many financial pitfalls in comparison to internet play.

[SenecaJim]

tstone, what you are going through is not pokerplayer exclusive. It's teen angst a little bit. That 's not a putdown. We have all been there.

I feel for you that the commiseration / and or advice you seek ( good stuff from what I read) had to be sought over the internet. You say you are an explorer, that's what meeting new people is about.

You threw out about your lack of social-needy like a badge of honor. Man, that is not a weakness to need friends. The inclination to even make that post ( and a good post it was, I do commend you ) goes against what you say. Along with becoming petulant at some of the responses. LIke one poster stated, hard to say stuff online without looking like a troll.

It's hard without knowing your circumstances, your upbringing, the male role-models in your life. you need some close to you whom you respect to guide you here. If I had pretty much said what you did in your post my family (esp. uncles and male cousins ) would have made my life a living hell. And I would not have been petulant or thought them trollish in the least cause I know they love me. IF they ever coddled my ego or psyche the hair on the back of my neck would stand up in my fear they don't love me anymore.

I don't know you so my comments would be meaningless but If I were an uncle or older brother I would tell you to quit whining about your job and get on with the business of living.

And work friends are great because even if you love your job no job,,NO JOB is perfect. And others with the same job can sympathize and advise like no other. So, since you moved way out from friends and stuff, why didnt' you move to where there are a bunch of pro's located ?

Well, this was longer than I attended. I have worked with young people all my life and I do empathize with the stage you are going through, so, keep your head up and as we always chanted in wrestling, Never give in, Never give in, Never, Never, Never give in . that mantra has gotten me through some tough times.

[12AX7]

Hi TStone,
Geez, I was thinking just the opposite. As I've written elsewhere, my gut is screaming that online poker is going to become a software arms race.

Have you found that not to be true?

Just out of curiousity, do you use any of the additional software tools?

I agree that the convienence and environmental factors of online are superior. Though I do miss seeing Donna Harris in all her elegance over at the Mirage... :-)

As for the getting out a socializing thing. Well, you just gotta go do it. I can't say what the best approach is. in the 80's and 90's I spent countless nights on the night scene in the Palm Beaches. It was a total "looks and money" scene. You had to have curb appeal in a 120db night club...."Flash".

After all it was the "money money money" Reagan years era. So as a working class systems programmer I was destined to lose in that game as the children of the wealthy in the area had all the toys and the right address.

It's a rat race out there, and in the corps. of america too.

I guess I'm the wrong person to discuss such things because my view is that of an idealist who, by seeing that ideals are not really pursued by humanity in general, has become a cynic.

There's "what we say", "what we really do" and... if you dicsuss the discrepancy... "you have an attitude problem". LOL!

Seems everyone read "The Prince" by Machiavelli and took it as the handbook, instead of the short term solution it was meant to be. And classically enough... it got *him* banished! LOL!

Galileo had the same problem.... he said, "Just Look!" and they jumped him too.

So all I can say is tread carefully, but always follow the beat of your own drummer. Only you know what's right for you.

:-)

[TStoneMBD]

ill comment on the software arms race comment.

of course i use assisting software to play internet poker. im always looking for new products hitting the market and gladly shell out the cash to use them. in fact, i would prefer it if these software companies would up their costs of member usage because it deters fish from buying the programs themselves. you have players on these forums who are concerned with shelling out the $20-$50 that a program demands, which is just silly. i think that in general, most fish just arent going to want to spend the money to buy these programs and they arent going to spend the time learning how to make them useful.

internet poker is very profitable right now. for how long? i dont know, but at least a few years for certain. beyond that is all up for grabs, but if we are fortunate enough to see an internet poker company with low rake fees come along and rival the big boys, internet poker will become so much more profitable especially for the midlimit players. im paying over 10k a month in rake alone. how ridiculous is that?

[Emperor]

$10K per month in rake is nothing, IF IT GETS SPENT ON ADVERTISING, to bring in new fish. (Which only a small % at PArty actually is)

24h Poker offered to cap the rake at $100/month for all 2+2ers. It was a flop. With no advertising revenue they can't run commercials and there is no fish. Pro's get tired of the tight games and move to softer games NO MATTER WHAT THE RAKE.

I actually think the site that will overcome Party will adopt a multi-level rakeback scheme like PokerChamps. However it will also charge enough rake to offer bonuses AND do a lot of TV advertising.

[TimWillTell]

Amazing, so many reactions this post got. As if we all feel you are on the brink of...

I cannot believe that you are younger than 21. My gues is that you are about 27 years old. Your talk just isn't that of an adolesent.
There are many inconcistancies in your statements, that indicate both financial and psycological problems.
Are you really that succesful in poker?
I don't think so, think you can barely pay the rent.
Happy? I'm thinking 'manic-depressed'.
Although to me your 'honest confessions" don't seem honest at all, I give you credit for starting a very succesful thread. Keep it up!
As for any advise? I'm afraid you're just too far gone.
However, if there's anything that might help you, it's quitting poker. Poker no good for you.

[dealer_toe]

[ QUOTE ]
Amazing, so many reactions this post got. As if we all feel you are on the brink of...

I cannot believe that you are younger than 21. My gues is that you are about 27 years old. Your talk just isn't that of an adolesent.
There are many inconcistancies in your statements, that indicate both financial and psycological problems.
Are you really that succesful in poker?
I don't think so, think you can barely pay the rent.
Happy? I'm thinking 'manic-depressed'.
Although to me your 'honest confessions" don't seem honest at all, I give you credit for starting a very succesful thread. Keep it up!
As for any advise? I'm afraid you're just too far gone.
However, if there's anything that might help you, it's quitting poker. Poker no good for you.

[/ QUOTE ]

You should probably sprint off a cliff.

[TStoneMBD]

hahaha, nice troll account whoever you are.

[ianlippert]

Even those trolls have given you some good advice. I just started posting on this board so I'm not really up on all the board politics, lol. But some of these guys that are trashing you are saying some truely honest things to you. Everytime someone suggests something to you, you come up with some excuse ($250 for an animal? pay it!). You brush off their comments with "I'm planning on doing....", but it seems like your plans are going no where. What have you done in the past week do aleviate your situation? Have you even opened a paper to see whats going on in your local area? I'm not being a troll, but you gave an honest assessment of yourself to complete strangers (not easy to do) and should expect to recieve honest answers.

I'm 25 and am returning to school for something I am truely interested, Physics. I'm not going back to get a degree and get a job (although that may eventually happen), but for the pure enjoyment of school. I would love to be able to play poker part time and go to school part time. If I was able to do that I would probably make that my 'career'. You are 20 yrs old, you need to get out there and have a good time before its too late. School is definately one of the best options for you right now. Dont go for a degree, find a few courses that interest you, and then join every campus club you possibly can. Trust me, you wont regret it.

[Dave H.]

If you truly want to be happy and content, then find a volunteer activity and go do it. It really doesn't matter much what it is, just give your time to someone else (FOR FREE), do it regularly, even when it hurts. And, by regularly, I'm not talking about once a week. If you can do that for 6 months, your life will change and I would love to see you post your experiences.

[Rootabager]

It sucks you have a year lease. I would suggest moving to a college campus to be around people. Also there are alot of girls there, which is the best reason.