Dear bison... June 2005.

[bisonbison]

I just got back from Vegas, where a few things became clear:

1. I am taller than you thought.

2. Enough people enjoy my advice threads to justify posting these on an ongoing basis.

3. Some of you are still in desperate need of help.

4. Someone needs to buy me a black t-shirt that says Internet Celebrity in gold writing across the back.

Thus here's the third installment in a series (http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/showflat.php?Cat=&Number=2284346&page=&view=&sb=5& o=&fpart=1&vc=1) of threads (http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/showflat.php?Cat=&Number=2118638&page=&view=&sb=5& o=&fpart=1&vc=1) designed to save 2+2 posters from themselves.

So whether your typical weekend involves getting drunk in your closet and pooping your pants, paying strippers for blowjobs, silently plotting the demise of all who now ignore you or all of the above, ask me a question (starting with Dear Bison), and I will tell you how to repair the shattered remnants of your life.

[Emmitt2222]

Dear Bison,

Although this is OOT, I have to quickly mention that variance blows hard so I needed money this summer and have failed to make any over the last month and a half through poker. I have also just hurt my back in a serious way so I won't be able to do any physical work for a week or two. Do you know of any other ways to make money sitting on my butt, preferably in front of my computer, in a short period of time [a month or so]? This is most likely an absurd question, but you have been known to work miracles in the past.

Sincerely.
Emmitt2222

[bisonbison]

Dear Emmitt,

If you can walk and sit and type, contact local temp agencies and see if they can hook you up. You will soon be underpaid, and you will be underpaid soon.

[DcifrThs]

uh more poker...ride out the variance

-Barron

[The Armchair]

Start writing. (http://www.twoplustwo.com/magazine/contributions.html)

[illunious]

Dear bison,

Please recommend a recipe that's spicy, meaty, grilled, and a complete meal.

[bisonbison]

Dear Illunious,

Chili with grilled chicken.

[THATWACOKID]

Dear Bison,

I've played competitive golf since my 8th grade summer. I currently play college golf for a very competitive NJCAA team (top 10 in the nation). Next year I'll be a sophomore, and I'd like to (well at least today) continue playing after next year. Here are my scoring averages from 8th grade to last year.

8th- 88
9th- 84
10th- 79
11th 74.5
12th- 78 (I discovered mary jane)
Fsh. College- 79 (I discovered poker)

From my 8th grade year to my 11th grade year I was extremely motivated and a very dedicated golfer. The last two years I've had off and on motivation. I've done very well for myself playing poker over the last year, so I don't plan to quit, but it has definitely hurt my golf game. In addition, college life can also be a huge distraction to my golf game. I struggled last year with balance in my life. I currently have more motivation than I've had in about a year, and I plan on giving it my all on the golf course, but I'm afraid it won't last. Any advice is appreciated. TIA

Side note: sorry that I suck at organizing my thoughts ...

[THATWACOKID]

[ QUOTE ]
Dear Illunious,

Chili with grilled chicken.

[/ QUOTE ]

LMAO

[bisonbison]

Dear Waco,

There are a lot of worthwhile ways to spend your time. Studying, smoking pot, poker, drinking, partying, golf, and having a 9-5 job are all fine hobbies if kept in proportion to how happy they make you.

In the end, you will end up playing exactly as much golf as you feel like playing. You may decide that you enjoy golf so much that it ends up taking up a lot of your time, and you'll likely improve. But the effort is going to follow the enjoyment.

If your self-image depends on becoming a scratch golfer, then I would suggest changing how you evaluate yourself.

[Lawrence Ng]

Dear Bison,

I have some nightly flatulence problems that cause some discomfort while I am sitting and being idle. The problem is further amplified whenever I am masturbating. I would like to be able to masturbate without feeling like I am ready to let one rip. Do you have any suggestions?

Lawrence

[THATWACOKID]

[ QUOTE ]
If your self-image depends on becoming a scratch golfer, then I would suggest changing how you evaluate yourself.

[/ QUOTE ]

It has nothing to do with my self-image. I know a countless number of men who wonder to themselves why they didn't try 110% in their sport. I realize that my numbers aren't overly impressive, but when I WAS working my ass off I improved with amazing consistency. When I am 35 years old, I don't wanna look back and wonder what might have been. Days like today make me kick myself in the ass for blowing off the last two years. I wish I could keep the same mindset I currently have.

[TripleH68]

Dear bison,

I have been dating a wonderful girl for two years. We have a vacation planned in August to Niagara Falls, Toronto and the lakes to the north. I am going to ask her to marry me.

What I need to know is how, when and where I should propose?

At the beginning or middle of the week long trip?
In public or in private?
Niagara Falls, Toronto or lakeside getaway?
Maid of the Mist, Niagara Glen, spanish aerocar, etc.

Please help bison, TripleH.

[bisonbison]

Dear Waco,

That thing you're talking about where you're 15 years older and looking back and feeling like you wasted your life? That's self-image.

Being great at golf or poker or physics or almost anything will not make you a better man, husband, father, etc.

Do what makes you truly happy. That's it. If you feel like a failure 15 years from now, golf will have precious little to do with it.

[bisonbison]

Dear Lawrence,

Cut out dairy.

[bisonbison]

Dear TripleH,

Beginning. Private. Have a bed handy. "I love you. Will you marry me?"

[gusser]

Dear Bison,

Can you please get someone to make Google Scholar not link to sites that require a subscription. Trying to use it for research is a giant PITA because all the promising links require money. (You do work for google right? If not my question is how can i use feng shui to make my desk feel less clutered)

gus

[ChoicestHops]

Dear Bison,

Last night I hung out with this girl. The night was going good at first, as we were hooking up consistently. I did not drink that much, probably a half fifth of some Evan Williams. However, when we went back to my place, I [censored] up.

I assume the alcohol was messing with me as I had a difficult time getting it up, thus me only getting a few strokes in but never really having the sexual act. I have been extremely plastered in my day and still had been able to perform in past experiences. I guess lack of sleep is another culprit, as the past 3 nights I have probably gotten a toal of 14 hours of sleep.

What do I tell this girl the next time I call her? Im sure she thinks Im some pussy or possibly gay.

[Esteban]

Dear Bison,

I recently have come to realization that the only that sucks worse than my guitar playing ability are the guitars I'm trying to sell. What is my purpose in life?

Thank you, brother. God bless.

[bisonbison]

Dear ChoicestHops,

Don't worry about it. Either she cares or she doesn't and if she doesn't care then you can prove your heterosexuality some other time. If she does care then there's nothing you can really do.

[bisonbison]

Dear Gus,

scholar-support@google.com

[bisonbison]

What is my purpose in life?

Apparently it's not guitar-based.

[mason55]

Dear Bison,

I think I'm an alcoholic. it doesn't affect my job or reltionships with friends or girls. when I go out drinking I can't stop until I'm too drunk to move. the problem is i enjoy it. it's sunday night and i'm wasted. I've always seen the caricature of an alcoholic being a bum and having no job but i have a great job and a very fulfilling life. i just like to get drunk every night. what should I do? maybe this is too personal for ask bison?

[ClaytonN]

Dear bison,

Currently I have been getting a good deal of money from rakeback, (27%) and I am unsure as to whether I should stick to my Party skin and make lots of rakeback or spread my money around a lot of sites and bonus whore.

[Transference]

Dear Bison:

I'm 25 and have been in school virtually my whole life. I was removed from a phd program for making an ass of myself and am instead getting a masters degree in general psychology once I finish my thesis. I am disilusioned with the field in general. I have only found 2 options for employment a)take a job for which I am overqualified for and will be underpaid or b) teach as an adjunct professor. Both ideas are moderatly repulsive to me. I still owe 40 grand in student loans and I feel like all that money got me zilch.

What do I do with my wasted life?

[bisonbison]

Dear Mason,

It's not too personal. If someone's got a real personal question, I assume they can always make a gimmick account to post it with.

Forget about the label 'alcoholic'. I don't know your habits or your story or whatever. We can just accept that you're worried that your relationship with alcohol is unhealthy. The best and simplest thing to do (though not the easiest) is to stop drinking for a while.

Just remember, why you're drinking so often is more important than how often and how much you're drinking.* So set aside a month for not drinking and see how you feel.

*This weekend I went to Vegas, and as some people can attest, got pretty hammered two nights in a row. I tend to get caught up in the flow of things and lose track of how drunk I am, and then I drink even more. I don't get violent or argumentative or touchy, I just get real drunk and real sleepy and dumb.

I feel okay about it, cause it was a designated donk-fest, and I didn't do anything worse than spill a tray of drinks. But if I'd gotten that drunk at home, especially two nights in a row, with friends I see every week, I'd be worried about it, because the experience of being really drunk interferes with actually being fully present with people you know. And I like my friends, so if I'm feeling the need to get hammered, what the hell is going on?

[bisonbison]

Dear Clayton,

Do the math. Evaluate the effort. Make a choice.

[bisonbison]

Dear Transference,

You're 25. You do not have a wasted life. Trust me on this.

Take a sabbatical from school. Get a 9 to 5 that you are over/under qualified/paid for and figure out what you want to do.

[mason55]

Dear Bison,

My problem is that I don't feel I have an unhealthy relationship with alcohol. It doesn't affect my life in a negative way. Maybe I just have my head buried in the sand but I enjoy my relationship with alcohol. The problem is that I feel my relationship is unacceptable to society, sort of like a hot girl dating a M2F transsexual. They're happy but society isn't happy with them. Maybe I just need to not worry what people think because I am happy with my life. I just know that most people would consider our relationship unhealthy while I see it as a way to kill time and boredom. I guess this isn't a question, so, who's going to win the NBA finals?

[bishopstrt]

Dear Bison

How do you make a really good steak like the kind they sell at restaurants? Mine never taste all that good. I cook them on my oven's broiler. Should I flavor them with something? I like rib eye and new york strip but am usually disappointed with the way they turn out. Just not that much flavor. I think I'm a failure or something...

And another thing...
Do you think that being stoned can make a person better in bed? I think it does but I can't really trust my own judgement when I'm in that state as I'm sort of high and I'm too embarrassed to ask my partner if I'm better that way or not but it sort of seems like I must be better judging from my partners reaction. Maybe I'm kidding myself. Have you ever read anything on this before?

[mason55]

To make a good steak:

Don't cook it on one side the flips it and cook it on the other side. Flip it as often as possible. If you only flip it once then the juice rise to the top then you flip it and they all fall off. If you flip it often then the juices can't escape and you will have a very juicy steak.

[bisonbison]

Dear Bishop,

"Hey, is there any difference between when I'm high and when I'm not?"

Honest to god, asking people things is not hard.

[brassnuts]

[ QUOTE ]
How do you make a really good steak like the kind they sell at restaurants? Mine never taste all that good. I cook them on my oven's broiler. Should I flavor them with something? I like rib eye and new york strip but am usually disappointed with the way they turn out. Just not that much flavor. I think I'm a failure or something...

[/ QUOTE ]

First and foremost, buy good quality meat.

When cooking, make sure you cook it at high enough temperature to sear the edges of the meat. This will hold the juices inside of the meat. Also, don't overcook. Take the steaks out a little before they are cooked to your liking, as they will continute to cook themselves for several minutes.

[BradleyT]

Don't use any utensils that will "poke" the meat while turning it over. Use tongs.

[1800GAMBLER]

Dear Bison,

I've never cooked a meal before in my life, but i decided to cook a meal for my girlfriend this weekend. I'd like something challenging, chineesey and impressive. Suggestions please sir?

Thanks.

[bishopstrt]

thank you for the steak advice and I certainly hope this is the answer to my problem. Maybe I have been over-cooking them a little. Also, I never knew about the multiple flip thing that Mason mentioned or the tongs so I'm definitely going to try that.

Bison, I guess I could attempt to engage in a discussion with the person in my bed but I'll have you know that for some of us that is a very awkward and embarrassing moment and you make it sound like it is so easy. One reason I am getting high in the first place is because I'm not very skilled socially if you know what I mean. However, since you think it is so obvious I will give this conversing thing a try.

[bisonbison]

Dear 18G,

Most chinesey food is not challenging. Make a stir-fry. Buy some bell peppers that are bright and nice colors - orange, red. they'll show well show nice against white rice.

[Sponger15SB]

[ QUOTE ]
because the experience of being really drunk interferes with actually being fully present with people you know. And I like my friends, so if I'm feeling the need to get hammered, what the hell is going on?

[/ QUOTE ]

Bison this post is great and I wish more people would think this way.

[Allinlife]

dear bison
it seems like every session I play, there's at least 2~3 times I do something, then go "why did I do that"
because I know better.

Why do I do that?

[blatz]

My girlfriend is presently far away in a different country. I find myself staying home at night, because I know if I go out to one of my usual bars I will end up cheating on her.

Am I a good person for staying home or a bad person for knowing I would cheat on someone I love?

Thankyou
JLS

[SmileyEH]

Dear Bison,

I'm in love with one of my best friends. She knows this but has been in a serious relationship for the last year. Last week we had dinner and a few drinks at my apartment and eventually hooked up (did not have sex). Neither of us were drunk (we agreed on this later). Although she said that although things aren't going well with her boyfriend (he's in Europe right now) she is going to stay with him out of a sense of loyaly and trying to make things work. She has told me she loves me and doesn't want to lose me as one of her best friends despite what happened.

Right now our relationship is in a weird spot obviously. Should I continue to hang out with her regularly and feel continuous angst or try to cut her out of my life? We have a great time when we are together and I think she feels the same way, but I'm not sure if its worth it for the rejection I implicitly feel.

-SmileyEH

[SmileyGEY]

Dear SmileyEH,

Put it in his butt.

-SmileyGEY

[bisonbison]

Dear JLS,

You're a good person for staying home.

[bisonbison]

Dear Smiley,

She has to sort herself out. Tell her you'd like to be together with her, and that you'd be happy to if she broke up with her boyfriend. Then take a month off from each other, let stuff cool down.

She may not be interested in you. Give her time to figure it out.

[PhatTBoll]

[ QUOTE ]
To make a good steak:

Don't cook it on one side the flips it and cook it on the other side. Flip it as often as possible. If you only flip it once then the juice rise to the top then you flip it and they all fall off. If you flip it often then the juices can't escape and you will have a very juicy steak.

[/ QUOTE ]
Repeatedly flipping a steak will lose you far more juices than just leaving it alone. But, as long as you refrain from cooking the hell out of your steak, you should have enough juices left in it regardless of how many times you flip it.
One more thing: you should indeed sear both sides of a steak before letting it cook, but it's not to "keep the juices in." It's to caramelize the surface, which gives you the flavor combinations that you associate with a really good steak. This is called the Maillard reaction.

[Voltron87]

if you and her have gone out, hooked up, and she wants to stick it out with the bf youre not the one, sorry, please try again.

[SmileyEH]

This was basically what I figured. We didn't go out per se though. Basically did what we normally do, cooked food drank some wine and beer and hung out. Just ended up with some clothes off this time.

-SmileyEH

[jaxUp]

[ QUOTE ]
Dear Smiley,

She has to sort herself out. Tell her you'd like to be together with her, and that you'd be happy to if she broke up with her boyfriend. Then take a month off from each other, let stuff cool down.

She may not be interested in you. Give her time to figure it out.

[/ QUOTE ]

This is solid (as always). I was recently in this situation, but on the other side (I was the bf in Europe). Things ended up working out, but I can see how they could go the other way just as easily. Time is key here.

[DcifrThs]

[ QUOTE ]
Dear 18G,

Most chinesey food is not challenging. Make a stir-fry. Buy some bell peppers that are bright and nice colors - orange, red. they'll show well show nice against white rice.

[/ QUOTE ]

i would recommend a spinach and rainbow veggie salad (with a homemade or store bought ginger dressing) and an appetizer.

if she likes tuna steaks a great easy appetizer is thinly sliced peppered and seared tuna. take a few capfulls of olive oil (more for 2 whole tuna steaks) and put it into a ziplock bag w/ lemon juice and black pepper. put tuna steak(s) in ziplock bag and massage the tuna steaks in the maranade.

then prep the steaks for cooking by covering them w/ black pepper on all sides while the pan heats up w/ olive oil. cook tuna until its evenly grey on all sides and warm and red on the inside. the cooking of each steak should take around 2-4 minutes depending on thickness (about 30 seconds on each side)

thinly slice and present in a layover circle w/ a small bowl of soy sauce (or other dipping sauce) in center of circle and garnish with small greens.

-Barron

[eric5148]

Dear bison,

You are a sonofabitch for creating ADHOC. I quit and went to sleep with less than 2 hours left. I lost over $500 because I went on wild donktard tilt.

My question is: when should I try it again?

[Rick Nebiolo]

Dear Bison,

I'm 51 and I've only recently noticed that the vast majority of men (other than real old men, the type that wear knee socks with shorts) don't part their hair anymore. I've always had a part and realize I had no idea this went out of style until recently, given I'm often surrounded by college age guys playing NL. Now I notice even men my age rarely have parted hair.

I don't intend to abandon my part, or try to look overly young, as that can be tacky. I've kept the same hairstyle for years and I cut my hair with a Flowbee, with scissors and a razor for the edges.

I guess my questions are:

When did parted hair for men go out of style?

If it happened years ago, is a sign that I'm clueless or senile that I only recently noticed it?

Have you ever known anyone who uses a Flowbee? Do you think there is anything wrong with or weird about using one?

~ Rick

[imported_CaseClosed326]

Dear Bison,

It appears that you are the coolest person in all of 2+2. Is this true? If so should I create a gimmick account to follow you and make others aware of your stature as coolest 2+2er?

Oh, and can you make neteller work again? It's really pissing me off.

[PokerFink]

Dear Bison,

I have plans to hang out with a girl on Tuesday night. We have no concrete plans on what we are going to do yet.

A couple of my buddies invited me to the Phillies game for Tuesday night. Would taking her out to the game with my buddies put me on the "friendship tip" as Trent would say? I don't want to give her that impression, since I would like to date this girl. FWIW, I know she would enjoy going to the game.

Thanks,
Fink

[brassnuts]

[ QUOTE ]
Dear Bison,

I have plans to hang out with a girl on Tuesday night. We have no concrete plans on what we are going to do yet.

A couple of my buddies invited me to the Phillies game for Tuesday night. Would taking her out to the game with my buddies put me on the "friendship tip" as Trent would say? I don't want to give her that impression, since I would like to date this girl. FWIW, I know she would enjoy going to the game.

Thanks,
Fink

[/ QUOTE ]

Thankfully, bison is above the classic OOT response to this question.

[raisethatmofo]

[Malachii]

Dear Fink,

You left out some essential information. On a scale of 1-3

How hot is she?

Does she seem like she'd be good in bed?

And most importantly, do you have any chance whatsoever of getting her in the sack?

If these combined scores add up to 4, friends can wait. /images/graemlins/grin.gif

[Macdaddy Warsaw]

Regardless of this crazy scale or whatever you want to call it, I'd say the danger is there Fink, but I think you can skillfully handle it (with the help of your friends hopefully not being cockblockers) and focus your attention on her more than on something else.

Edit: Oh, but I'd like to hear what the sage has to say about it.

[sexypanda]

Dear bison,

Your advise is so consistently good. How did you get so good at life?

-The Sexual Harassment Panda

[DMBFan23]

no, I like bison's advice. she's not going to just bail from a boyfriend at the first sign of something that might be there between you two, change doesn't come that easily for a lot of people. tell her, give her time, etc

[SmileyEH]

[ QUOTE ]
Dear Smiley,

She has to sort herself out. Tell her you'd like to be together with her, and that you'd be happy to if she broke up with her boyfriend. Then take a month off from each other, let stuff cool down.

She may not be interested in you. Give her time to figure it out.

[/ QUOTE ]

I thought about your advice bison, and I'm going to do my best. You rule.

-SmileyEH

[bisonbison]

Dear Eric,

Pathetic.

[bisonbison]

Dear Rick,

Parted hair started going out of style roughlyaround the time George Clooney first appeared on ER and reestablished the Caesar as a cut for adults.

Does not knowing this make you senile? No.

If you can afford to not use a flowbee, don't use a flowbee. Go to a salon, get your hair cut by someone with a sense of style that doesn't ignore the fact that you're on the downslope to 100.

[bisonbison]

Dear Case,

No. No. No.

[bisonbison]

Dear Fink,

Skip the game. It's not a friendship tip thing, it's a show her you're interested in spending time just with her thing. Get together, then join the boobirds.

[bisonbison]

Dear Raise,

Gimmick accounts suck.

[tbach24]

[ QUOTE ]
Dear Raise,

Gimmick accounts suck.

[/ QUOTE ]

It's actually theredpill's (http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/showflat.php?Cat=&Board=ssplnlpoker&Number=1845713 &PHPSESSID=&fpart=1#Post1845713) new account.

[bisonbison]

Your advise is so consistently good. How did you get so good at life?

Dear Panda,

Several years of terribleness followed by a complete return of my sense of humor and hope for the future.

[bisonbison]

Bison, I guess I could attempt to engage in a discussion with the person in my bed but I'll have you know that for some of us that is a very awkward and embarrassing moment and you make it sound like it is so easy. One reason I am getting high in the first place is because I'm not very skilled socially if you know what I mean. However, since you think it is so obvious I will give this conversing thing a try.

Dear Bishop,

It is awkward and embarrassing. Welcome to adult relationships. If you can f a girl, you should be able to ask her if she likes it better one way or another.

[Thythe]

Dear bison,

I graduated college about 3 days ago in Chicago. Tonight is my last night with every person that I know. I'm moving to Phoenix for a job tomorrow and everyone else is moving to a variety of national and international locations. What can I do to repair my shattered life?

[bisonbison]

Dear Allin,

You may know better after 10 seconds but not after 5. Play fewer tables until the feeling goes away. Or you may just like being loose. If the problem doesn't go away when you play fewer hands/hour, consider asking yourself whether you actually mind these mistakes.

[BeerMoney]

Dear Bison,

Who's the fairest 2+2er of them all?

[razor]

As you well know, many people who participate in online communities like to take on some sort of persona. Generally this is all in good fun and adds to the online experience.

However, occasionally someone will take things too far. How far is too far? What should we do if we see someone cross that line? Should interventions be considered?

[bisonbison]

Dear Thythe,

Been there, done that. Find a hobby in Phoenix that'll help you meet people - a rec league, classes, something. Then schedule a meetup for your friends every 4-6 months somewhere, like Chicago.

[bisonbison]

Dear Beer:

I don't know. Of the guys I met in Vegas this weekend, I'd say that Joe Tall or JBB is probably going to win the beauty contest - Joe is a handsome, fit guy, and JBB looks like he should be starring in a sitcom. He's very non-threateningly chandler-esque.

[bisonbison]

Dear Razor,

I'm going to need an example.

[bisonbison]

Dear tbach,

Gimmick accounts suck.

[razor]

[ QUOTE ]
Dear Razor,

I'm going to need an example.

[/ QUOTE ]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v247/razor27/ElDiablo.jpg

[lucas9000]

dear bison,

should i bother with the empire satellites to the 5 diamonds tournament, or are they just a waste of my time? (i didn't include any background on my poker skillz because i think it's largely irrelevant given empire's tournament structures.)

thanks,

sleepless in seattle

[bisonbison]

Dear Razor,

I have no idea what I'm looking at here.

[SmileyEH]

[ QUOTE ]
Dear Razor,

I have no idea what I'm looking at here.

[/ QUOTE ]

sup bro?

-SmileyEH

[Inthacup]

Dear Bison,

If you can help me with this (http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/showflat.php?Cat=&Number=2678785&page=1&view=colla psed&sb=5&o=14&fpart=1#Post2679031) , I will be most impressed.

Cup

[SippinSoma]

Dear Bison,

During ADHOC weekend, I decided to mix things up. Rather than playing .5/1 like the other nits, I made my move. I played 4 tables of 5/10 6-max. I called it ADSHOC. In my last three hours, I had to make an emergency (unavoidable) grocery run. It took half an hour, so I added an extra half hour at the end. I succeeded, logged 9200 hands, and finished +39 BB (+79 BB after rakeback). I was awake for 10 hours before I started the challenge, and another 4 after.

My question is - are you proud or ashamed of me? And if the former, which ADHOC rank do I deserve?

Signed,
Bruno

[bisonbison]

Dear Soma,

Essentially, adding the half hour is dumb. None of the hands from that time would count. It's a 24 consecutive hour challenge.

Of course, I never played enough HUSH to know what decent totals are for 6-max games, so even if you did have enough hands after 23.5 hours, there's no way of knowing how many hands that would be.

Set your hand on fire.

[bisonbison]

Dear Cup,

I know where you're coming from. I don't have a brand to recommend, but I would highly recommend walking into an upscale men's store and cornering a salesperson with questions about socks for a good half an hour. Make it clear that you're only after socks, and only after the finest. Then insist on trying them on before buying.

[Shajen]

Dear Bison,

Why am I a goddamned snowflake?

I don't feel unique.

[sfer]

[ QUOTE ]
Dear Bison,

If you can help me with this (http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/showflat.php?Cat=&Number=2678785&page=1&view=colla psed&sb=5&o=14&fpart=1#Post2679031) , I will be most impressed.

Cup

[/ QUOTE ]

Hey Cup, you want socks that have their seam (typically at the end, on the tips of your toes) hand-stitched for maximum comfort. Pantherella is a good brand for this.

[sfer]

Dear Bison,

Have people told you that you more than slightly resemble the narrator from the Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer claymation specials?

Love,
Dave

[bisonbison]

Dear Dave,

This guy? http://www.toyrocket.com/products/RUDL01546.html!!b_id=17

No. But I did get a lot of crap for looking like Ralphy from A Christmas Story when I was in 7th grade.

[bisonbison]

Dear Shajen,

You're all goddamned snowflakes. I just like to treat most of you with a wide, even contempt.

[sfer]

The guy next to Rudolph on the packaging, not the figure.

[bisonbison]

Wendell,

If you grew a goattee, that would be you, my friend.

[sfer]

[ QUOTE ]
Wendell,

If you could grow a goattee, that would be you, my friend.

[/ QUOTE ]

FYP.

[teamdonkey]

Dear Bison,

My wife doesn't like anal sex. She says no woman really does, they do it for reasons other than sexual pleasure. That's cool with me, i don't want to get poop on my dick anyway. Is she right?

[jakethebake]

teamdonkey, given that your an ass, i'm pretty sure all your sex qualifies as anal.

[sfer]

[ QUOTE ]
She says no woman really does, they do it for reasons other than sexual pleasure.

[/ QUOTE ]

She is wrong.

[bisonbison]

Dear Donkey,

Many women do enjoy anal sex, and not just cause they're anally accomodating. Part of the reason is actually that the clitoris (and its many millions of nerves) is not simply confined to that little bit of flesh at the top of the front bottom. Clitoral nerves extend past the vagina and around the rectum. It ends up providing the same kind of potential for enjoyment as the prostate in men, though the degree to which people find it pleasurable is gonna vary a lot, just like some women can't take much direct clit stimulation and some need that and nothing but if they're going to come.

Your wife is wrong about all women. She may be right about herself, but she may also just be grossed out by the poop factor. If you wanna broach the subject, I suggest taking a shower together and asking if you can try fingering her ass.

Best of luck, and if she asks to return the favor, you pretty much have to say yes.

[eric5148]

[ QUOTE ]
Dear Eric,

Pathetic.

[/ QUOTE ]

Dear bison,

Get over yourself. It was just a stupid JOPKE.

[Iplayragstoo]

Dear Bison,

The rash you have around your anus, that you claimed was nothing big, is now around my ballsac. Can you provide me with any information as to what it is, and any creams you are currently using on it?

[jakethebake]

[ QUOTE ]
Dear Bison,

The rash you have around your anus, that you claimed was nothing big, is now around my ballsac. Can you provide me with any information as to what it is, and any creams you are currently using on it?

[/ QUOTE ]

Ask Big Steve for some cream.

[DrunkIrish05]

Dear Bison,

My girlfriend and I have recently moved to friend status. Everything had been going great, but then school ended and we both took jobs in different cities. I am currently at home for the summer so we're only 2 hours apart right now, but come September that will change to 5 hours. Still, things started out fine this summer, but we weren't able to see each other for the first month of being away. Finally when we did get together things didn't feel quite right. I believe this is somewhat due to the pressure of feeling that we needed to be really happy to see each other when in reality we have found that we have both found out in a month that we don't have to rely on each other. Plus, our conversations over the phone have stalled out and caused us to become somewhat bored with each other. While this dilemma itself isn't suprising, what is really bothering me is that the exact same thing happened in my last relationship. My gf at the time didn't feel the same after we were apart before and the whole procession of events was eerily the same. I know long distance relationships are hard, but am I doing something specifically wrong? Also, with my recent gf the problems just started about 2 weeks ago (right before we were going to see each other for the first time). Is it right to throw away the relationship we had this quickly because things will only get harder? Or do you think that this first part of seeing each other and being honest with expectations may be the hardest part?

Anyways, thanks for the advice, I've enjoyed reading your wisdom in these threads.

-DI

[bisonbison]

Dear Rags,

You are implying that we had sex, which is untrue.

[bisonbison]

Dear bison,

Get over yourself. It was just a stupid JOPKE.

Will do.

[bisonbison]

Dear Drunk,

Long distance relationships usually fail, not because of any lack of effort, but because they are a symptom of the fact that you are now peripheral to each other's day to day lives. If you decided you were going to live together after school or that one of you was going to move to the other's city in a couple months, then there'd be a different vibe, but essentially you decided to move away from each other.

It's not a lack of love, it's a lack of feeling like this is the person for whom you'll make the sacrifices necessary to stay together. Sounds like your relationship ran its course.

[Patrick del Poker Grande]

[ QUOTE ]
It's not a lack of love, it's a lack of feeling like this is the person for whom you'll make the sacrifices necessary to stay together. Sounds like your relationship ran its course.

[/ QUOTE ]
It also sounds like they're fresh out of high school and will be going to different colleges. Forget about it. Part ways and be done.

[Iplayragstoo]

Your just like all the rest of the IpretendIamstraightbutIamreallygay guys out there...tell the truth Bison. /images/graemlins/shocked.gif

[bisonbison]

Your just like all the rest of the IpretendIamstraightbutIamreallygay guys out there...tell the truth Bison.

No, I'm smarter than those guys.

[Klepton]

dear bison,

i remember during the trip you and bugstud lauughing hysterically at something that i said to a drunk girl as we were entering the wynn, but i can't remember what it entailed.
i was going to enter it into my trip report
do you remember?

[bugstud]

[ QUOTE ]
dear bison,

i remember during the trip you and bugstud lauughing hysterically at something that i said to a drunk girl as we were entering the wynn, but i can't remember what it entailed.
i was going to enter it into my trip report
do you remember?

[/ QUOTE ]

something about going 1920's Irish on someone?!?!??

[Klepton]

hahahahaha, omg yes

must add that

[Kevin]

Dear Bison,
I have spent the last 3.5 years as part of the Wal*Mart team, our biggest customer. I have the opportunity to make a lateral move on another team. Same pay, options, vacation, bonus, etc. It is a smaller customer, but there is a lot of exposure with it (not as much as the prior job). My boss would be the guy who brought me into the company 9 years ago and my boss's boss would be my first boss on the Wal*Mart team a few years ago - who treated me very well.

They have approached me about the gig and it seems to be very promising. My boss is 57 and the director says that she would like to groom me as his backfill when he leaves in a couple of years.

Do I take the plunge - even with the political fallout of leaving the biggest team in the company?

Also,
My brother got a job offer with Oracle. When he went to tell his current employer he was leaving, they offered $20,000 more per year. Originally the Oracle job was going going to be the same pay, but have a career path, 401k, benefits, etc. I told him to suck it up in the short term and go to Oracle, he is torn. What say you?

Thanks,
Kevin

[DCJ311]

Dear Bison,

I am in Vegas for the WSOP festivities, and last night two of my buddies and I went to Crazy Horse (a gentleman's club). I met this dancer there and we did a lot of talking during her shift, and eventually I got her number.

The problem is, I got extremely drunk that night, and had also let my friends borrow my car to go to another club, so I had no ride when I finally left the place early in the morning (possibly 9-10 AM). Anyways, when I went outside, I was too drunk to remember that my friends took the car, and I was basically freaking out in my drunken stupor.

Now, I made the mistake of calling this dancer during this time, whose # I had just put into my phone, even though I knew that she was flying to LA and doing some work for her book. I don't remember what was said in the conversation, but I also remember calling her back a few times and getting her answering machine. I feel like a jackass for doing this, and to compound the problem, I lost my phone that day so her number is off the phone. Fortunately, I can get my list of call logs from my phone company, so I still have the ability to call her back at a future date. The bottom line is that I'd like to call her back and apologize for acting the way I did, even though I was very nice to her most of the night when we talked. She even told me that she was missing her flight to talk to me, so we definitely hit it off.

This gives me the following questions:

1) Is dating a dancer/stripper a very poor idea, and if so, why? This girl seemed nice and more 'honest' than I would have expected from a person in her profession. I couldn't get a good 'read' of how into me she was in reality, but I was getting good vibes given the situation.

2) If I call her back, what should my approach be? I want to basically say I had a enjoyed talking to her, and that I'm sorry about some of the things that happened that night/morning. Also, should I bring up the possibility of meeting up with her again, if she goes back to Vegas, or I happen to go to LA? Also, I am 22 and she is 24, if that is relevant.

Your thoughts appreciated.

[PokerFink]

[ QUOTE ]
Dear Fink,
You left out some essential information. On a scale of 1-3
How hot is she?Does she seem like she'd be good in bed?
And most importantly, do you have any chance whatsoever of getting her in the sack?


[/ QUOTE ]

Scale of 1-3?! Who the hell uses a 1-3 scale? Anyways, a three, easily.

Good in bed? She is a virgin. But she will learn.

Chance of getting her in the sack? If this was no, would I even be trying in the fist place?

Anyways, thanks for the advice Bison. I will use it.

[bisonbison]

Dear Klepton,

I just remember you tapping her on the shoulder like "hey", then me laughing for several minutes.

[bisonbison]

Dear Kevin,

Sounds like a good opportunity. You're not burning bridges.

$20k is a lot of money. But it's less if he's making 100 than if he's making 40.

[bisonbison]

Dear DC,

A) dating a stripper is fine if you can deal with the jealousy. They're just girls with weird jobs.

B) I think you burned this bridge dude.

[BWebb]

Dear Bison,

Which is better, Jager shots or Tequila shots?

[Lawrence Ng]

Dear Bison,

Why did you choose the nickname BisonBison?

Lawrence

[bisonbison]

Dear B,

Jager, by a margin so large as to be inconceivable to mortal man.

[bisonbison]

Dear Lawrence,

The American buffalo is one of my favorite animals. Its linnean name is bison bison. It's not great, but it's the truth.

[SpearsBritney]

always thought it was a StreetFighter thing

[The Truth]

Dear Bison,

This girl messaged me on facebook, I had only met her once at a party about 9 months ago. Anyway, she said the fact that she remembers me has nothing to do with me in particular; she just has a really good memory. However, she hasn't added anybody else at that party as a friend. Question 1: Should I believe her?
Question 2: I remember talking to a couple of girls at that party from the same school as this girl, and im not sure which of the 3 she is. However, one was easily a 9 on a 1-10 scale, and I made it a point to talk to that girl... One was about a 7, and the last was pullin a 2. How do I find out which girl it is?

<font color="white">The real question: Bison, why are you such a little bitch? </font>

With Love,
TheTruth

[Joe Tall]

1. I am taller than you thought.

This is right on but I thought you'd be a lot friendlier. I'm not sure it's because I busted your azz about the converter, but that's just me. Ask JBB what I'm about, I mean it's been my occupation in my profile since I started poster here. I'm really a nice guy.

Nice meeting you,
Joe

[bisonbison]

Dear Truth,

1) It doesn't matter.
2) Meet up with her for coffee.

[bisonbison]

Dear Joe,

It was nothing personal. I thought you were Evan.

[Yeti]

Dear bison,

Which is the best feature in the google labs (http://labs.google.com/)?

[ceyoung]

Dear bisonbison,
I have a one-way ticket from SF to London on Oct. 4th. I plan on traveling Europe for a month or so, and then getting a job. When do you suggest that I start applying for jobs? Should I apply before or after I get there? Visas are not a problem as I have dual citizenship.
Thanks,
CEY

[swolfe]

Dear Bison,

I'll often type up long, scathing, hateful replies to terribly played hands or terrible advice given on the SSNL forum, then when I'm done, I read it over and throw it away without posting it. Is this good or bad?

Steve

[bisonbison]

Dear Yeti,

I like the personalized home page, though google maps obviously rocks.

[bisonbison]

Dear CEY,

Unless you have a foolproof way of being contacted by phone and email, apply after you're settled.

[2planka]

Dear Bison,

I have a pimple on my back. What should I do?

[bisonbison]

Dear Steve,

It's bad that you're writing them. It's great that you're throwing them away.

The difference between writing these two fundamentally honest responses:

A) This was a badly played hand.
and
B) This hand is an abomination in the eyes of the lord.

is that the latter is cheap. Sure, it's hard to come up with some fresh way to insult people on the internet, but why exactly would you do that?

There are a lot of rationalizations: it gets their attention, it makes the forums entertaining, "oh, I'm just kidding". But essentially, they exchange a lot of the OP's dignity for a little gain on your side. And I say this as someone who has made as many cheap, entirely accurate, and often funny, scathing remarks as anyone else in 2+2 history.

If you can tease out where this contempt and rage and desire to demean comes from, then you can learn to just let them go, which is awesome. Shitbrick.

[bisonbison]

Dear Kilgore,

Leeches.

[jakethebake]

[ QUOTE ]
Dear Bison,

I'll often type up long, scathing, hateful replies to terribly played hands or terrible advice given on the SSNL forum, then when I'm done, I read it over and throw it away without posting it. Is this good or bad?

Steve

[/ QUOTE ]

I do this a lot. This is why I don't post to the actual poker forums on 2+2.

[spamuell]

Dear Bison,

I have middle-class guilt. What should I do?

[2planka]

Dear Bison,

I now have leeches on my back. What should I do?

[jakethebake]

[ QUOTE ]
Dear Bison,

I now have leeches on my back. What should I do?

[/ QUOTE ]

Divorce

[bisonbison]

Dear Spam,

What do you want to do?

[bisonbison]

Dear Kilgore,

Set your hand on fire.

[spamuell]

[ QUOTE ]

What do you want to do?

[/ QUOTE ]

I don't know, give more money to charity, volunteer more, invent a social/political system which is entirely fair to everyone, maybe.

[bisonbison]

Dear Spam,

We are at our best and most giving when we are happy. What do you enjoy doing? Do you have a job? Are you in school?

Figure out how to be happy on a day to day basis and you'll find the generosity to do a lot of things.

[Shajen]

Dear Bison,

I just saw a man running down the street with his hand on fire.

[DMBFan23]

Dear Bison:

how can I acheive the same reply-to-word count ratio that all your posts seem to sport? I'm talking mostly about hand posts, but other posts as well

EDIT: POKER CONTENT, NOOOOOOO

[bisonbison]

Dear DMB,

I am an internet celebrity. I would suggest creating a useful, free product for an insular group of desk-bound nerds, then making fun of those nerds at every opportunity while desperately seeking their approval.

[spamuell]

[ QUOTE ]
We are at our best and most giving when we are happy. What do you enjoy doing? Do you have a job? Are you in school?


[/ QUOTE ]

I'm pretty much doing nothing until university in October. My parents told me to get a job but I showed them a graph of my poker results and told them not to worry and they actually took it pretty well.

I applied to do some voluntary work at a day care centre for the mentally ill but they don't really want me as I'm not going to be around for long. So I'm pretty much sleeping till midday most days and playing poker until my friends finish work and then seeing them, it's a bit boring.

I don't really know what will make me happy on a day to day basis, I might try to do some voluntary work in an old age home or with the homeless but most of these places want people who are going to be in London for more than 3 months and I'm not.

To make it worse, I'm taking drugs for acne (which is almost gone but apparently I need to continue taking them) which prevent me from drinking, and I have been hearing about how marijuana hugely increases the chance of psychosis from my mother who is a doctor so she's pretty much persuaded me not do that anymore. Not that I should need them to be happy on a day to day basis anyway but I do miss them sometimes.

I'll try to think of more ways to be consistently happy but I mean it seems like it might be fruitless, isn't that what the whole world is trying to do, mainly unsuccessfully?

[MarkL444]

[ QUOTE ]
might try to do some voluntary work in an old age home or with the homeless but most of these places want people who are going to be in London for more than 3 months and I'm not.

[/ QUOTE ]

you don't need an organization to allow you to help people. you live in london. why don't you go out and see how many homeless you can feed?

[spamuell]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
might try to do some voluntary work in an old age home or with the homeless but most of these places want people who are going to be in London for more than 3 months and I'm not.

[/ QUOTE ]

you don't need an organization to allow you to help people. you live in london. why don't you go out and see how many homeless you can feed?

[/ QUOTE ]

I'd feel like the most patronising idiot ever.

[bisonbison]

Sam,

I'm not talking about doing good. I'm talking about doing what you enjoy in life - poker, sports, music, history, philosophy, food, whatever.

When you do what you truly enjoy, what truly makes you content and happy, then your entire life improves, and you can do sincere work for others that helps them and doesn't make them feel patronized or condescended to.

Some tasks are necessary to save lives - you don't care if the doctor who's taking out your appendix is a dick about it or not. But when it comes to improving lives, then the sincere grace and enjoyment with which you approach the task matters a lot.

So what do you enjoy?

[MarkL444]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
might try to do some voluntary work in an old age home or with the homeless but most of these places want people who are going to be in London for more than 3 months and I'm not.

[/ QUOTE ]

you don't need an organization to allow you to help people. you live in london. why don't you go out and see how many homeless you can feed?

[/ QUOTE ]

I'd feel like the most patronising idiot ever.

[/ QUOTE ]

and im sure the hungry bum will be the first to judge you. anyways, it was more of a theoretical example.

[spamuell]

So what do you enjoy?

Playing games which I'm good at, theoretical logical discussion which can be practically applied, pool, music, socialising with close friends, meeting new people if they're interesting, sex, knowing that I've helped other people and made a difference. So I'm going to university where I'll probably get most of this.

Making a difference is really important though, and I don't understand how doing what I enjoy will lead to it in a direct way, even if I end up being slightly friendlier and more giving when situations arise, it seems a bit passive.

[Worrots]

Dear Bison,

I'm at a new dry cleaner this morning dropping off my dress shirts. Standard options:

1. Hanger or box?

2. No starch, light/medium starch or heavy starch?

I've always chosen hanger + light starch and been happy with the results. Am I missing out on anything?

Yes, the problems in my life are this mundane.

[nolanfan34]

Dear Bison,

Two part question.

1. I'm pretty sure I annoyed a certain internet celebrity with my drunken bad beat ramblings. Is there a way to apologize for that, or am I beyond reproach?

2. People like my wife more than me, should I pretty much expect that to never change?

Thanks.

[bisonbison]

Dear Scott,

1) If anything was going to bother me about you, it'd be your politics, which are at least a furlong to the right of mine. And they don't bother me, so don't worry about me busting your chops.

2) Your wife is an attractive woman. It happens to be a convenient joke when you hardly know someone that said attractive woman has more to offer than you. I'm sure someone in the world likes you better. Maybe your mom.

3) Happy birthday.

[bisonbison]

Dear Worrots,

You are missing out on overstarching, understarching and having to hang up your own clothes. Good choices.

[bisonbison]

Dear Spam,

In the short term, a couple of hours of volunteering mixed in with other stuff is better than zero per week, but in the long term, if you are unhappy in the rest of the stuff you do and you don't hugely enjoy volunteering then you'll end up getting burnt out and just stopping. But if you can find the stuff that renews you and keeps you happy, then it'll be easy for you to find that ways that volunteering or giving works for you. And you'll be able to do it long term, in a way that brings sincere happiness to the people you interact with.

[spamuell]

Peter you're right, thanks. I need to buy you a beer if I'm ever in New York and older than 21.

[1800GAMBLER]

Dear Bison,

I know of SMS service in the UK that you can text with any question you can think of and they will reply; much like this. I noticed google is adding something similar, is that the department of google you work in? Would you?

Jason

[Yeti]

1800, I'm not bison, but the Google SMS is my new favourite toy after discovering it last night.

[bisonbison]

Dear Jason,

I work on Gmail. I don't really have any information on any other current or future projects.

[sublime]

Bison-

I am a stud trapped in a fat mans body. Around last May or so I was at like 185lbs and squatting 300lbs. now i need a rolling head start to get out of bed. i feel miserable because of my current state of health. i know what the solution is, yet cant seem to get any momentum going. please, give me a cyber bitch slap so i start taking the necessary steps to becoming the hoe macker i once was. please peter, the happiness of twenty something women across Boston is now in your hands.

[bisonbison]

Mike,

Being fat sucks, and 95% of the people who see you are either disgusted or saddened by your very presence in the room. You're killing yourself in the slowest and chunkiest way possible because you can't suffer through 3 innings worth of exercise a day.

Start lifting 3 times a week and doing cardio 2 days a week. take 2 days off. Repeat. Do not give yourself days off unless you are running a fever or you hurt your back (because so many exercises depend on a healthy back). If you hurt something else, avoid exercising that until you feel better. Keep exercising though.

Have some pride, get less wide.

[cnfuzzd]

Dear bison,

Im unsure which of my many problems i should ask you about first. Which might you suggest?

peace

john nickle

[NiceGuyChump]

Dear Bison,

I recently broke up with a woman who would not kiss me though every other sign was positive. When I told her I would not see her anymore as a friend her uncontrollable sobbing was not commensurate with where our relationship was at. She also kept saying, "I'm sorry." I really like her and have strong suspicions that she may have either psychological issues with intimacy, which I am willing to work with, or cannot get over my age (I am 25 and four years younger).

Or maybe she thinks she should be attracted to me but just can't find it in her because I am a nice guy chump.

So, what is my best play from here?

Chris, eagerly awaiting your response

[Patrick del Poker Grande]

[ QUOTE ]
Dear bison,

Im unsure which of my many problems i should ask you about first. Which might you suggest?

peace

john nickle

[/ QUOTE ]
I'd start with jo.

[ceyoung]

[ QUOTE ]
Dear Jason,

I work on Gmail. I don't really have any information on any other current or future projects.

[/ QUOTE ]

dear bison,
i started using the new google personalized homepage. but, when i click on my emails from the preview on the front page, it takes me to just the email. i would prefer it display the email exactly like it does when i access the mail from my gmail inbox (with the menu on the left and search bar at the top). am i being to anal? and, is there anything you can do about this?

[bisonbison]

Dear Chris,

I mean this in the kindest way possible: you don't get to second base without hitting first base on the way.

I don't know what kind of relationship after 5th grade doesn't involve a lot of making of smooching. She has issues. She needs to deal with those issues, either with intimacy or with having the guts to tell you she's not interested in you.

In the best of cases, she is gutless. Girls like nice guys. Girls LOVE nice guys. But this girl might not like this nice guy.

In the worst of cases, she's really f-ed up and could use some help. If you know any of her friends, talk to them. Figure out which it is and whether there's anything the group of you can do to get her help if she needs it.

But don't get drawn into being this woman's best friend/not quite boyfriend - you need to be happy too.

[jackdaniels]

Dear Bison,

Your original thread stated:
[ QUOTE ]
Perhaps I should clarify: in order to get a response, questions are going to have to be either legitimate or entertaining.


[/ QUOTE ]

Hence the poker ( /images/graemlins/blush.gif) question on OOT:

I have what has been commonly reffered to as the BisonBison autorate rules for PT. Have you released multiple versions of these rules? If not, are there any updates in the works? Last but not least, I play 3-6 (full table) - are these rules even meant for this limit???

Thank you in advance,
Jack

[bisonbison]

Dear Jack,

Pretend like you understand the context of these threads and don't post a question about the converter or the autorate rules again.

[gorie]

dear bison,

this guy at work likes to tease me a lot lately since we started working together more. i can tell he likes working with me. he's a funny guy and we end up laughing a lot about stupid stuff... but it starts to go too far and he ends up picking on me way too much.

i can't help but laugh because that's just how i am. i'm also kind of sensitive. i know i encourage it by laughing/playing back (i suck at making fun of other people though), and i'd rather be that kind of person than have no sense of humor and get a bad attitude. but i feel like this makes me an easier target for it to continue, too.

i just get depressed about things sometimes.

i mean, even if it's all in good fun, the fun part to him is going too far, isn't it ?

it just seems too familiar. i can't tell if people genuinely like me or not. and if he does, why does he feel the need to constantly tease me ? some of it can be kind of mean though he probably doesn't realize it, i don't know.

i guess it's getting to me because i was starting to like that we were getting along (i don't really have any friends) and i sort of had a mini-crush on him which i'm sure doesn't help (he's engaged and i have a boyfriend, just one of those things that don't really mean anything), now i just feel disappointment as usual. i'm pretty sure to him, we are just playing around and he's not really trying to be mean, but i'm sure he'd enjoy knowing he got to me. if that even makes sense.

it might be getting to be too much, i feel like i should avoid working with him. but this bothers me that i feel this way, because it makes me lame and explains why i have no friends. but to keep putting myself in a situation to just allow someone to constantly make fun of me and be okay with it is pretty lame too. plus, i won't always have the option of whether or not i have to work with him, but i can make it less. i like him and hate him at the same time. i haven't really decided which is more yet.

what's the deal ?

[SmileyEH]

This sounds a lot like a ploy on his part to reduce any real or imagined sexual tension b/w the two of you. I know this described a few of my highschool working relationships with girls I had crushes on.

-SmileyEH

[oreogod]

Dr. Bison,

Your girlfriend wants to go out, she asks your opinion of where to go, you cant come up with anything. You dont want to go to 1. a restraunt, 2. Shopping and 3. a coffee shop....where do u go?

--Dustin

[DMBFan23]

anything about pokerjo will do nicely

Peace

Kevin Sprong

[gorie]

[ QUOTE ]
This sounds a lot like a ploy on his part to reduce any real or imagined sexual tension b/w the two of you. I know this described a few of my highschool working relationships with girls I had crushes on.

-SmileyEH

[/ QUOTE ]
this is what i'd like to think. because it compliments both of us and wouldn't a big deal (if he'd stop being a jerk). it's like, i'd rather accept it and move on to being normal... plus then i can play back a little easier if he did.

but, guys don't get crushes on me (my bf doesn't even count, i was his last choice). never. and i am more likely to make a fool out of myself by assuming one might. i think this is where i'm screwed up here.

plus like i said he's happily engaged, so i doubt it.

which leads me to think he probably just picked up on that i have a crush-thing on him because i think he's funny, and is having fun with it, which sucks because then i lose.

it's confusing though. because he will be nice about things sometimes and even say "it's not a bad thing though." after picking on me for something or "i wouldn't make fun of it if i didn't like it." , but then he'll make hurtful comments too and just be a major annoying jerk.

and should i really excuse him being an idiot just because i can tell myself "he doesn't really mean it in a bad way, he likes me." ? which i think is what i currently seem to stupidly be doing, which just feels like i'm giving him the power in the situation to reset my buttons and push them again as he pleases. this is dumb.

[Macdaddy Warsaw]

Go after the things you want in life and stop being complacent.

This is general advice to all people.

[kerssens]

I think you should call him on it, tell him when you're uncomfortable. He probably thinks you have thicker skin than you do. I know I can say things about myself that I for sure couldn't say about other people.

[cnfuzzd]

[ QUOTE ]
anything about pokerjo will do nicely

Peace

Kevin Sprong

[/ QUOTE ]

see, the pokerjo thing doesnt really bother me. Im certainly over it. This was made most evident by the fact that the best pokerjo jokes were made by me over the weekend...

peace

john nickle

[Luv2DriveTT]

Dear Bison, internet celebrity:

Not only were you taller than I thought, you were also much much much (much?) funnier than I expected. One of the funniest moments in Vegas was when the tray of shots went all over the place, I was lucky enough to get a photograph of you after it happened, as well as Nit on Tilt (aka Jason T) after he downed the backwash from the tray (yuck!).

I need to know is it considered in poor taste to post these photos? I would normally contact Miss Manners for answers to questions such as this, but somehow I think your answer will be much better. If it is tactful to post these photos, should they be placed in OOT or in the B&amp;M forums?

TT /images/graemlins/club.gif

[SmileyEH]

Just post the pics man!

-SmileyEH

[gorie]

[ QUOTE ]
I think you should call him on it, tell him when you're uncomfortable. He probably thinks you have thicker skin than you do. I know I can say things about myself that I for sure couldn't say about other people.

[/ QUOTE ]

that's part of my problem. i can try to get 'serious' and be like 'seriously, stop it.' or 'seriously, that's not funny.' but then i laugh 2 seconds later at something else and it goes right back to whatever bothered me. i just laugh too easily. it doesn't really stop until i leave the room. and then i feel guilty leaving him with work when i know he didn't really mean to upset me enough to leave. but it's the only way i can feel in control of the situation.

i'm counting on bison for either a really witty response that makes me laugh, or the solution to all my problems. preferably both.

[kerssens]

Oh, I can't help with witty, and I tend to cause more problems than I solve. I do excel at wasting people's time with half-assed advice though.

[VBM]

Dear Bison^2,

You have been gainfully employed now for some time. 2 questions, 1 open-ended:

1. Do you have any general impressions or feelings of the working world you've returned to vs being a poker professional?

2. Have any of your fishy coworkers been naive enough to invite you to their home games?

[Talk2BigSteve]

Dear Bison,

Is it a coincidence that I break my hand on the same day that I lose the status of Old Hand?

Steve

[bisonbison]

Dear Steve,

Post away. And by "lucky enough," I assume you mean "bison thought it was funny and agreed to sit while you framed the shot."

[bisonbison]

Dear Steve,

Yes.

[bisonbison]

Dear Dustin,

Given my limited options: a movie, a park.

[swolfe]

Dear Bison,

A friend recently revealed to me that she was a centerfold in some Hustler and Club magazine shoots back in the early 90's. Being the competent internet sleuth that I am, I've located at least two of these magazines.

Will seeing her naked in a spread groping and being groped by another chick compromise my friendship with her?

Steve

EDIT: she's hot (still)

[bisonbison]

Steve,

2 things:

1. You cannot use this against her ever in any kind of argument or hold it over her head in a joking way amid a group of friends/ignorant folk.

2. As long as you understand that she doesn't necessarily want your penis in her ear, sure.

It'll probably be all you expected and pretty disappointing.

[ethan]

[ QUOTE ]
Steve,

2 things:

1. You cannot use this against her ever in any kind of argument or hold it over her head in a joking way amid a group of friends/ignorant folk.

2. As long as you understand that she doesn't necessarily want your penis in her ear, sure.

It'll probably be all you expected and pretty disappointing.

[/ QUOTE ]
And yet in some way it'll be awesome. Also, you won't be able to live with yourself if you don't track these magazines down. But you'd better damn well be sure you follow points 1 and 2 here.

[MarkL444]

Dear Bison,

Who do you like in game 7?

Mark

[bisonbison]

Yeah, there's just a difference in going from knowing someone in 3d and seeing them in 2d

[ethan]

[ QUOTE ]
Yeah, there's just a difference in going from knowing someone in 3d and seeing them in 2d

[/ QUOTE ]

Absolutely. I only know of one friend of mine who's done porn, and she did it after we met, but it's still a little odd seeing it.

I do know a couple of these people (http://www.stevedietgoedde.com/previewsets.htm) (probably don't click if you're at work, but it's nothing outrageous), and I met them before I'd seen their modeling work. My seeing the photographs didn't change my interactions with them in the slightest, but that may have been a function of the particular people involved.

[Soul Daddy]

Dear bison,

What are your thoughts on dipping one's pen in the company ink? Specifically, dating within the workplace, not just screwing. I've had some bad experiences with it in the past, but always seem to find myself interested in going down that road again.

[Talk2BigSteve]

[ QUOTE ]
Dear Steve,

Yes.

[/ QUOTE ]

LOL you are so damn funny.

Thanks Bison.

Steve

[bisonbison]

Dear Soul,

If you're interested and neither of you are drama royalty, then I think it's fine and inevitable and whatever.

I myself have the same kind of interest in the near future, so my opinion may change, but god knows I'm gonna give it a shot and ask her out.

[bisonbison]

Dear Mark,

I'm gonna have to go with the blah blah blah. I prefer the Pistons, but I don't follow the NBA.

[bisonbison]

Dear Gorie,

As one of those guys that do this and am sometimes pretty relentless about it, the problem is that the instinct when someone says or communicates "ouch" is to get them to laugh some more in the hopes that that'll make up for the hurt. But the effect is that it makes the other person even more overwhelmed; it becomes like tickling, where the laughter is extracted and it turns the whole thing kinda sad and sour.

I think the best thing you can say is "hey, that's too far" and then get up and get a glass of water and come back in 30 seconds. Don't disappear for 15 minutes cause that'll make it weird when you come back, but do take the time to breathe so that you're back at equilibrium.

[bisonbison]

Dear PJN,

Let's talk about your health - drinking, weight, smoking, drugs, whatever.

[IndieMatty]

[ QUOTE ]
Dear Soul,

If you're interested and neither of you are drama royalty, then I think it's fine and inevitable and whatever.

I myself have the same kind of interest in the near future, so my opinion may change, but god knows I'm gonna give it a shot and ask her out.

[/ QUOTE ]

I know he's a little effeminite. But Hammy is definitely a dude.

[bisonbison]

I know he's a little effeminite. But Hammy is definitely a dude.

Would you go so far as to describe him as All Man?

[bisonbison]

Dear Ollie,

1. I get to see a ton of different people every day, my group is 80% women, and I do not think about my job when I am not at my desk. So far so good.

2. Nope.

[OtisTheMarsupial]

Dear Bison,

You wrote to Gorie that[ QUOTE ]
it becomes like tickling, where the laughter is extracted and it turns the whole thing kinda sad and sour.

[/ QUOTE ]

I'm not ticklish. Am I missing out or lucky? (because I can tickle others w/o revenge tickling)

Should I be tickling others at all if I don't know what it feels like?

- Otis

[A_C_Slater]

My group is 80% women

But what percentage of them are hot?

Do you flirt with them?

[bisonbison]

Dear Otis,

You're kind of missing out, in that being more sensitive to touch is nice, but essentially getting tickled is enjoyable very briefly and then not much fun at all cause it makes you feel kind of powerless.

Laughter is one of the world's best feelings, but tickling ain't the route to it.

[bisonbison]

But what percentage of them are hot?

Do you flirt with them?

Enough. I am myself, which, because I am a charming, handsome internet celebrity, is a lot like flirting.

[tbach24]

Dear Bison,

I don't understand the whole "Internet Celebrity" thing, what's it from?

[jakethebake]

[ QUOTE ]
Enough. I am myself, which, because I am a charming, handsome internet celebrity, is a lot like flirting.

[/ QUOTE ]

He sends them anonymous webchats.

[Yeti]

Dear bison,

Is watching TV shows like Entourage and films like The Girl Next Door skewing my perception of reality?

Are there girls like Monica Keena and Elisha Cuthbert available to the everyday man? I live in England and rarely see a girl who takes my breath away. If I do, upon talking to them I realise we have nothing in common.

Help.

[A_C_Slater]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Enough. I am myself, which, because I am a charming, handsome internet celebrity, is a lot like flirting.

[/ QUOTE ]

He sends them anonymous webchats.

[/ QUOTE ]

They must get really wet and horny when he gets done telling them the story of how he invented the 'hand converter.'

[bisonbison]

Dear Tbach,

I started referring to myself as an Internet Celebrity at some point in the last year or so for a few reasons:

1) my continued preeminence on these forums, despite my diminishing involvement in them.
2) the fact that a lot of poker players know about the converter.
3) the fact that more people respond to/view my threads because I am who I am.

Essentially, it's a half-serious joke that plays on the fact that I both revel in, am ashamed of and annoyed by my notoriety. It's self-deprecating narcissism.

[bisonbison]

They must get really wet and horny when he gets done telling them the story of how he invented the 'hand converter.'

"My auto-rate rules peg you as tight-aggressive."

[jakethebake]

Dear Bison,

How long before Google takes over the world?

[bisonbison]

Dear yeti,

If you shop for people based on looks, expect them to do the same.

That having been said, of course you can find, date, marry someone who's very attractive - you just have to be whatever she's looking for.

[bisonbison]

Dear Jake,

Q4 2006.

[A_C_Slater]

Dear bison,

Why have you not given your perspective story of the vegas trip over in B&amp;M? I think many would enjoy reading a detalied account.

I am curious to know how many 2+2ers gave you a blowjob.

I'm sure that if you wrote one it would rival Hunter Thompson's Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. in terms of literary genius. (slurp*slurp*slurp*)

[tbach24]

Dear Bison,

I just finished a SnG. I got KK 3 times in 50 hands and had it fold to my raise each time. Is this lucky or unlucky?

[jakethebake]

[ QUOTE ]
Dear Bison,

I just finished a SnG. I got KK 3 times in 50 hands and had it fold to my raise each time. Is this lucky or unlucky?

[/ QUOTE ]

Wrong forum, n00b. /images/graemlins/grin.gif

[bisonbison]

Dear AC,

I was actually a pretty small player in Vegas, mainly along for the ride.

Arrived; played lower limits than most of the crew; got drunk; spilled a tray of drinks; followed people to strip club but didn't get any dances cause it's not really my thing; stumbled home; tried to jump a fence and had to walk around; slept the day through; won a straddle with 57s when I turned the gutshot; offended some people by not introducing myself when there were 40 of us in one room together cause I feel awkward in those situations; helped make the downstairs magoo the table to be at; played craps; got real drunk; went to a strip club but didn't get any dances cause it's not really my thing; walked home; played more at the wynn; won three straddles in a row; got to tell some nit that he played like something had crawled up his ass and died; moved to the 2+2 heavy table; don't really remember leaving, which apparently entitled Evan to lose a couple of my racks; passed out on top of bed, in clothes; lost a rack and a half of Dave's in 15 minutes quite intentionally; ate; chatted with Brad; went home.

[MoreWineII]

Dear Bison,

I haven't played poker in months and I really don't enjoy OOT that much, yet...here I am still posting. Why?

And how can I wean myself from my message board addiction?

And how do you spell wean? Is it wean or ween? I think a ween is kinda like a penis though. So it's probably wean.

Lastly, how do I go about making a time machine so that I could go back and be a kid again? Grown-up life is kinda too stressful.

Thanks and God bless.

[A_C_Slater]

I also don't really care about lap dances. I've had a few before, but I know most, if not all strippers hate men. It's the bogus intent that turns me off. Is this why it's not your thing?

Also, the money is worth more to me.

[MoreWineII]

Man, I thought for sure the answer would be throw yourself over the falls before you do something stupid (yes, I'm married)

[IndieMatty]

[ QUOTE ]
I know he's a little effeminite. But Hammy is definitely a dude.

Would you go so far as to describe him as All Man?

[/ QUOTE ]


No way.

[bisonbison]

Dear Wine,

1. I don't enjoy OOT that much either, but I like joking around with a few people on these boards, so I post in threads they're in. Also, I found that doing these threads could be my niche where I show up every month or so and draw a crowd. Find something else to do, not at your computer.

2. Wean. Ween is apparently archaic, meaning 'to suppose'.

3. I had an epiphany a couple of weeks ago.

In college, everyone says: "Man, if I could go back, I'd ace high school with no effort."

And when you graduate from college you think "Man, college was so simple, I'd just do what I want and chill and have a great time."

Well, the fact of the matter is: every era of your life is actually that simple. It may not be easy, or fun, and there are times when it does get complex, but essentially, focus on what you enjoy, treat people well. That's it. And then you can say (while you're still in X) "Man, X is easy."

[MoreWineII]

[ QUOTE ]
Dear Wine,

1. I don't enjoy OOT that much either, but I like joking around with a few people on these boards, so I post in threads they're in. Also, I found that doing these threads could be my niche where I show up every month or so and draw a crowd. Find something else to do, not at your computer.

2. Wean. Ween is apparently archaic, meaning 'to suppose'.

3. I had an epiphany a couple of weeks ago.

In college, everyone says: "Man, if I could go back, I'd ace high school with no effort."

And when you graduate from college you think "Man, college was so simple, I'd just do what I want and chill and have a great time."

Well, the fact of the matter is: every era of your life is actually that simple. It may not be easy, or fun, and there are times when it does get complex, but essentially, focus on what you enjoy, treat people well. That's it. And then you can say (while you're still in X) "Man, X is easy."

[/ QUOTE ]

Write a book. Seriously.

[bisonbison]

It's the bogus intent that turns me off. Is this why it's not your thing?

Pretty much. I have nothing against strippers - I'm sure they're pretty much as nice as anyone else, it's just that the whole monetizing of flirting, attraction and sex make it really not fun for me.

I'm happy to pay a couple bucks in tips to see a beautiful woman strut around with no pants on, but that's more honest.

[nolanfan34]

[ QUOTE ]
Dear Bison,

I don't understand the whole "Internet Celebrity" thing, what's it from?

[/ QUOTE ]

I got a laugh at this. My wife was reading through the trip reports from the weekend, and she wanted to know the same thing.

Oh, and I think the trip reports have made her afraid of some of the people she met (**cough** Evan **cough**)

[nolanfan34]

[ QUOTE ]
3. I had an epiphany a couple of weeks ago.

In college, everyone says: "Man, if I could go back, I'd ace high school with no effort."

And when you graduate from college you think "Man, college was so simple, I'd just do what I want and chill and have a great time."

Well, the fact of the matter is: every era of your life is actually that simple. It may not be easy, or fun, and there are times when it does get complex, but essentially, focus on what you enjoy, treat people well. That's it. And then you can say (while you're still in X) "Man, X is easy."

[/ QUOTE ]

If people learn anything from this thread, this should be it. Great, great point.

[Luminous Mist]

Dear Bison,

Yes, life happens to be incredibly easy in so many ways.

It's somewhat hilarious that I have the not unique ability to make parts of it so 'difficult' for myself.

I have a question for you that is most likely quite snowflakish:

About 6 months ago I moved to a new area of the US (Southern California) and for whatever reason I haven't made any significant attempt to cultivate relationships with people. I haven't gone on a date...yet I think doing so would be fun. I enjoy the company with the people I work with and will occasionally do something with a couple of them yet don't have any base friend or group of them. I even have a cool female apartmentmate who I basically don't hang out with unless we're both at our apartment.

Despite these things, I enjoy my life quite a bit....but I think everything would be even more enjoyable if I either had a g/f and/or a group of friends to do things with. Frankly, I've been having this problem ever since college (2 years ago)...is this me just sucking at life? Will I snap out of it randomly? I'm not sure where my lack of motivation is coming from.

Luminous

[IndieMatty]

You have to put Dear Bison.

[jakethebake]

[ QUOTE ]
You have to put Dear Bison.

[/ QUOTE ]

/images/graemlins/grin.gif

[jakethebake]

Dear Bison,

Where does your bison tag come from and why is it bisonbison? Why not just bison?

[sexypanda]

Dear Bison,

Ok, so I'm headed to law school next year and decided (mostly on a whim) to go to Notre Dame. I've never visited the campus, and today went to the Princeton review lists and came across this:

Rank List Category
#1 Alternative Lifestyles Not An Alternative Demographics
#18 Homogeneous Student Population Demographics
#6 Students Pray on a Regular Basis Demographics
#1 Everyone Plays Intramural Sports Extracurriculars
#1 Students Pack The Stadiums Extracurriculars
#13 Don't Inhale Parties
#19 Great Campus Food Quality of Life
#9 Future Rotarians And Daughters Of The American Revolution School Type
#4 Jock Schools School Type
#14 More To Do On Campus Social

The problem is, I haven't stepped into a gym in about a year, and enjoy a j every now and again (like right now, and again in like 10 minutes). I also grew up in NY and am used to alot of diversity. Oh, also, I think praying is a waste of time, though I do enjoy good discussions about God, morality etc. Am I screwed?

[IndieMatty]

yes. change schools immediately. I hope you love Jesus.

[MarkL444]

[ QUOTE ]
tried to jump a fence and had to walk around

[/ QUOTE ]

that fence would have been the end of us.

[gumpzilla]

[ QUOTE ]

#19 Great Campus Food Quality of Life
#4 Jock Schools School Type


[/ QUOTE ]

Based on this, I'm guessing that you were looking at a review of the undergraduate population. This may set a tone, but I suspect your law school crowd will be somewhat different, and so I don't know how seriously you need to take all this stuff. That said, the overall religious/small townish vibe is going to be there pretty much no matter what, so perhaps you should reconsider.

[sexypanda]

[ QUOTE ]
yes. change schools immediately. I hope you love Jesus.

[/ QUOTE ]

The problem is, it's the best "ranked" school I got in, and apparently that makes a big difference when looking for jobs after graduation. They also have a second year in London program that I will most probably take advantage of, but it's this first year that's going to be a big change. Oh and I like Jesus, but just as a friend.

[sexypanda]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]

#19 Great Campus Food Quality of Life
#4 Jock Schools School Type


[/ QUOTE ]

Based on this, I'm guessing that you were looking at a review of the undergraduate population. This may set a tone, but I suspect your law school crowd will be somewhat different, and so I don't know how seriously you need to take all this stuff. That said, the overall religious/small townish vibe is going to be there pretty much no matter what, so perhaps you should reconsider.

[/ QUOTE ]

Yea, that was the undergrad list, but I assume the same goes for the school as a whole. They don't have specific quality of life rankings for grad schools.

[jakethebake]

[ QUOTE ]
The problem is, it's the best "ranked" school I got in, and apparently that makes a big difference when looking for jobs after graduation.

[/ QUOTE ]

You're there for law school, not a rave. Sack up and make the best of it. It's only a couple of years.

[BonJoviJones]

Dear Bison -

My girlfriend and I, who live together, recently broke up. She is moving out in three weeks. This is, obviously, a very long time to be living with someone that has just broken up with me. I am very uncomfortable around her and rather, er, erractic. There are times when I'm very angry, very sad, etc.

I've been trying to find a way to deal with this situation.

- Suck it up, be cordial, and deal with it on my own time. Don't burn any bridges
- Screw it, be honest and if that means being angry I'll be angry.
- Try and find a place, maybe an extended stay hotel or something, to move in until she moves out

Am I crazy for having trouble living with this woman? Our break up wasn't particularly nasty, and she seems quite content to 'be friends' immediatly. I am unable to do that, and have told her that.

I feel like taking the 'high road' may be the more noble option, but I feel like I'm entitled to express my feelings, regardless of what they are. Moving to a hotel seems like a bit too much drama.

Thoughts?

- BJJ

[Patrick del Poker Grande]

[ QUOTE ]
Dear Bison,

Where does your bison tag come from and why is it bisonbison? Why not just bison?

[/ QUOTE ]
I'll spare you the cowshit picture just this once and only because it's this thread:

n00b (http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/showthreaded.php?Cat=&amp;Number=2684699&amp;page=0&amp;view=c ollapsed&amp;sb=5&amp;o=14&amp;vc=1)

[UOPokerPlayer]

Dear Bison

Which Summer Job do you think is better,

Pizza Delivery Boy 13/hr 2-8pm
Drive around in fuel efficient subaru and listen to music and books on tape. Low stress.

Waiter at local cafe/restaurant 15-18hr 5-11pm
Serve tables to people I know in my town. Social work atmosphere. Gets very busy.

[MarkL444]

id say deliver pizzas, but ive never done it.

[gumpzilla]

[ QUOTE ]

Yea, that was the undergrad list, but I assume the same goes for the school as a whole. They don't have specific quality of life rankings for grad schools.

[/ QUOTE ]

With many kinds of graduate programs, that will be a terrible assumption to make. It's safe to say that the Ph.D. program I'm in bears essentially no resemblance to the population of the university at large. You're going to be spending minimal time with undergraduates.

More important considerations, I think, involve talking to people who are actually in law school there to see what the law school is like, and deciding whether small town Indiana is going to be the place for you, in terms of attitude, opportunities to go out, climate, etc. The other thing that I've heard - and take this with a grain of salt, as my familiarity with the subject is limited to friends who have gone through the process - is that law schools in a particular area tend to be particularly good at helping you with job placement in that geographical region. The higher ranked your school is the more likely you'll be able to jump around, but I'm not sure that it's really going to be a huge barrier to you whatever you do regardless. There's usually a big difference between the top tier and everything else, and then pretty small differences past that. Pick a place that you'll be happy, and I think the job repercussions will be small enough that you'll be better off in the end.

[PhatTBoll]

[ QUOTE ]
I also grew up in NY and am used to alot of diversity.

[/ QUOTE ]
If you're looking for diversity, you can always take a drive into downtown South Bend. It's brimming with cultural richness.
Once you get there, I think you'll find that some of your fears are misguided. You're not going to have a priest break into your apartment to tell you that smoking pot is evil. If you want a school that has a lot of hot sluts though, you're going to the wrong place.

One positive is that Notre Dame has better networking opportunities and alumni loyalty than just about any school.

[SmileyEH]

Waiter is much better. Dealing with people in stressful situations is a fantastic learning experience.

-SmileyEH

[asofel]

[ QUOTE ]
Waiter is much better. Dealing with people in stressful situations is a fantastic learning experience.

-SmileyEH

[/ QUOTE ]

Plus the culture can be fun for a short period of time. That and hot waitresses will probably hook up with you...

[jakethebake]

[ QUOTE ]
I'll spare you the cowshit picture just this once and only because it's this thread:
n00b (http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/showthreaded.php?Cat=&amp;Number=2684699&amp;page=0&amp;view=c ollapsed&amp;sb=5&amp;o=14&amp;vc=1)

[/ QUOTE ]

The bad thing is I think I already read that post. /images/graemlins/tongue.gif

[MoreWineII]

Nobody really cares, but I also think strip clubs are great but that lap dances are pointless.

[jakethebake]

[ QUOTE ]
Nobody really cares, but I also think strip clubs are great but that lap dances are pointless.

[/ QUOTE ]

Even with a happy ending?

[MoreWineII]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Nobody really cares, but I also think strip clubs are great but that lap dances are pointless.

[/ QUOTE ]

Even with a happy ending?

[/ QUOTE ]

If that happy ending comes via blowjob, I'm cool with that.

handjob, eh, I can do that myself for free.

[UOPokerPlayer]

Waitress/customer action was definitely a big impact on the early decision; then i got one of those girlfriends. I've been a busboy at a restaurant and I really liked the atmosphere. Delivering pizzas; I can run errands if they're on the way as well. It'd probably get boring though. The hours are big too, if I work at the restaurant probably won't be able to hang out with my friends after work. I may undertake both, never had two jobs before, does this work?

[bisonbison]

Dear Luminous,

It sounds like you're doing okay and are just in kind of a fallow period. If you want to meet more people you can look on craigslist or try to take up a sport, or you can just try inviting work people to go see a movie and hopefully they return the favor and you meet some more people.

Basically, as long as you feel alright, I wouldn't stress.