Flowers to say im sorry

[johnnybeef]

I have a girl who i am very close to. Shes not my girlfriend, but we still say i love you to each other. I liken her to my little sister or a girlfriend with whom i have no sexual relations with. I definately have strong feelings for her and she for me, but were not sexually attracted to each other (even though we both think each other are hot). Anyways, she will everyonce in a while make plans with me and just dump out on them (which pisses me off a little especially when we have had them for a while).

A couple of weeks ago she asked if i wanted to go home (we both live in columbus oh, but are from akron) on memorial day weekend and go to a party at her friends/my acquaintences house. I told her I would because Im going to vegas this week and I needed to save money, furthermore, most of my other friends were going out of town. So yesterday comes and we had planned on meeting at 5 after i got back from the cleveland indians game (which is about a half hour away) with my brother. To make a long story short, she calls me just as im leaving the game a little early to tell me that she doesnt know what is going on at her friends house as it might just be her friend, her, and her friends family having dinner, and shed call me after she got there just to make sure it was ok for me to come, and if not wed meet up later for a drink or whatever.

She didnt call me until 9 or so, and told me it wasnt much but i could come over if i wanted. I told her that i really didnt want to as i was a little pissed about her making me wait around for 4 hours while she figured out what to do (which i could have spent up in cleveland with my brother, or with some of my friends from home which i hadnt seen in over a year). As soon as i said i was a little pissed she immediately hung up on me. Hanging up on me when i am a little steamed is the one thing in the world that can piss me off enough to kill a man, and i started to boil. I call her back, and some dude answers. I ask for her and he tells me that i have the wrong number. I check my cell phone to make sure i dialed her number, and sure enough, it was her. I call back and get her voice mail. By now im absolutely furious (my temper is very very bad, and as a result i have learned to control it to only a couple of outbursts a year), and i leave her a message saying "i cant believe that you would be such a stupid *ckin bitch to me, im so furious at you you stupid c*nt....f*ck you!" A few minutes later my phone rings, and it is her phone. I answer and it is the same dude that answered the phone (who i found out is the high school equivalent of me to her), and he asks me why i would ask such a message and starts getting really confrontational like hes gonna kick my ass or something. I end up hanging up on him after telling him this is none of his business. I dont know for sure if she made him call me, but regardless, im even more pissed, and seriously considering ruining my relationship with her just to go over there and break his neck. I end up running around the block to blow off some steam to no avail and go to bed a well done johnnybeef.

I slept in today and woke up still very pissed off at my friend for dumping me for her other friends (which would have been no big deal had she told me earlier in the day), hanging up on me, having someone tell me that i had the wrong number when i called, and to top it off having her best friend from high school call me and get in my face when it is none of his business. I do realize that i definately over-reacted to her, but i am still very upset with her. That being said, i called her as she was driving back down to columbus today, and she said today wasnt a good day (she sounded very hurt)...shed call me back before i fly out to vegas. I do want to send some flowers to her to show her how sorry i am for over-reacting (even though i am still pretty pissed at her 24 hours later) and to let her know that i dont want to lose her friendship. I checked out 1800flowers.com and they can get them to her tomorrow, but i have never sent flowers to anyone (not even gfs), and im curious what kind i should send her.

Thanks OOT,
Johnny

[Jakesta]

Girls like that are lame. Put her on your real-life ignore list. You will feel much better afterward, guaranteed.

[YourFoxyGrandma]

That's a long-ass backstory for some advice on flowers.

[johnnybeef]

yeah, im pretty upset about it.

[johnnybeef]

[ QUOTE ]
Girls like that are lame. Put her on your real-life ignore list. You will feel much better afterward, guaranteed.

[/ QUOTE ]

shes one of my two best friends, not happening

[lu_hawk]

your relationship makes no sense to me. you say 'i love you' and you care enough to get pissed when she does something fairly insiginifcant such as this, yet you have no sexual relations. if she was my girlfriend then yes i would be pissed, no i would not send flowers. and i would want to know who the dude was that answered the phone. if she was just a friend then i probably wouldn't have cared much in the first place and again would not send flowers. i say this sounds like a wierd/bad friendship/relationship and therein lies the problem.

[Tron]

The obivous decision is to NOT use 1-800-Flowers, and to call a local florist in Columbus because they're cheaper and higher quality, and you can ask them what kind of flowers say "I'm sorry for overreacting and would like to remain friends with you" and they'll know exactly what to send.

[johnnybeef]

[ QUOTE ]
your relationship makes no sense to me. you say 'i love you' and you care enough to get pissed when she does something fairly insiginifcant such as this, yet you have no sexual relations. if she was my girlfriend then yes i would be pissed, no i would not send flowers. and i would want to know who the dude was that answered the phone. if she was just a friend then i probably wouldn't have cared much in the first place and again would not send flowers. i say this sounds like a wierd/bad friendship/relationship and therein lies the problem.

[/ QUOTE ]

it is a very wierd relationship...she is almost like a gf to me, but if we were to have sex it would feel like having sex with my sister (ive made out with her before and it was really wierd).

[johnnybeef]

[ QUOTE ]
The obivous decision is to NOT use 1-800-Flowers, and to call a local florist in Columbus because they're cheaper and higher quality, and you can ask them what kind of flowers say "I'm sorry for overreacting and would like to remain friends with you" and they'll know exactly what to send.

[/ QUOTE ]

perfect answer....thanks dude.

[Jakesta]

If she really was one of your two best friends, you wouldn't have called her such horrible names.

[bosoxfan]

Wow I didn't think it was possible to be pussy whipped without getting any pussy but congratulations you have done it.

[Blackjack]

Joe Dirt liked kissing his sister... or who he though was his sister. i guess southerners just think differently.

Blackjack

[stanky]

[ QUOTE ]
i say this sounds like a wierd/bad friendship/relationship and therein lies the problem.

[/ QUOTE ]

[johnnybeef]

[ QUOTE ]
If she really was one of your two best friends, you wouldn't have called her such horrible names.

[/ QUOTE ]

actually thats kind of the paradox...i only get that pissed off at people who are very very close to me.

[man]

I'm amazed by the insensitivity of advice thus far. you clearly have a relationship worth preserving.

1) if you have a temper, this probably isn't the first time she's seen you like this. she'll understand if she's as close to you as you say you are. but if she's somehow trying to find an excuse to push you away (which I doubt), then I guess you should let her.

2) her friend was clearly just trying to defend her (if in an ass-backwards way, but that's not your concern). he deserves an apology too. or at least a "sup bro?"

2) I don't have a clue about flowers. but I doubt that's the advice you were looking for.

[Deftoner]

Yellow roses.

How long you been friends with her?

[Blackjack]

eta 5 posts before "stick it in her pooper comes in"

Don't get her roses. Send her chocolates. Roses have too many emotional connotations.

Blackjack

[miajag81]

Agreed, I used to have a close female friend who pulled that sh[/b]it all the time. Emphasis on "used to." Lamest thing ever.

[Jakesta]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
If she really was one of your two best friends, you wouldn't have called her such horrible names.

[/ QUOTE ]

actually thats kind of the paradox...i only get that pissed off at people who are very very close to me.

[/ QUOTE ]

Fine, don't take the advice, it's your choice. I've just met a lot of girls like this and they suck.

[johnnybeef]

[ QUOTE ]
Yellow roses.

How long you been friends with her?

[/ QUOTE ]

~2 years

[Reef]

[ QUOTE ]

we still say i love you to each other.


I definately have strong feelings for her and she for me, but were not sexually attracted to each other (even though we both think each other are hot)



[/ QUOTE ]

denial?

[Deftoner]

[ QUOTE ]
eta 5 posts before "stick it in her pooper comes in"

Don't get her roses. Send her chocolates. Roses have too many emotional connotations.

Blackjack

[/ QUOTE ]

Yellow roses mean friendship and caring.

[johnnybeef]

[ QUOTE ]
eta 5 posts before "stick it in her pooper comes in"

Don't get her roses. Send her chocolates. Roses have too many emotional connotations.

Blackjack

[/ QUOTE ]

yeah, she thinks shes fat...so no good

[gorie]

don't you at least want to ask for an explanation (without being a spazz over it) before sending her flowers and apologizing ?

while i agree with others that this isn't a healthy relationship, i can kind sort of understand it, too.

but you should expect more from a friend , it doesn't sound like she respects you very much from the story you just told. but i think your reaction to it was pretty bad too, you shouldn't call your friends names like that :/ people with bad tempers are scary.

[johnnybeef]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]

we still say i love you to each other.


I definately have strong feelings for her and she for me, but were not sexually attracted to each other (even though we both think each other are hot)



[/ QUOTE ]

denial?

[/ QUOTE ]

denial is a river in africa....no, i have made out with her before, and it was really wierd. think back to the future when marty kisses his mom.

[Deftoner]

[ QUOTE ]
Agreed, I used to have a close female friend who pulled that sh[/b]it all the time. Emphasis on "used to." Lamest thing ever.

[/ QUOTE ]

Ditto. I unfortunately regret ending my friendship with her.

[gorie]

[ QUOTE ]
denial is a river in africa....no, i have made out with her before, and it was really wierd. think back to the future when marty kisses his mom.

[/ QUOTE ]
i think there was a 4 year period in my relationship with my boyfriend where kissing him felt like that. so we didn't kiss, but we still had sex.

i think you guys should hump.

[Jakesta]

[ QUOTE ]


i think you guys should hump.

[/ QUOTE ]

Worst. Advice. Ever. /images/graemlins/confused.gif

[miajag81]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
eta 5 posts before "stick it in her pooper comes in"

Don't get her roses. Send her chocolates. Roses have too many emotional connotations.

Blackjack

[/ QUOTE ]

yeah, she thinks shes fat...so no good

[/ QUOTE ]

wow she is sounding cooler by the minute

[Reef]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
denial is a river in africa....no, i have made out with her before, and it was really wierd. think back to the future when marty kisses his mom.

[/ QUOTE ]
i think there was a 4 year period in my relationship with my boyfriend where kissing him felt like that. so we didn't kiss, but we still had sex.

i think you guys should hump.

[/ QUOTE ]

weird. btw, you're a chick right?

[gorie]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]


i think you guys should hump.

[/ QUOTE ]

Worst. Advice. Ever. /images/graemlins/confused.gif

[/ QUOTE ]
/images/graemlins/tongue.gif

[Jakesta]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]


i think you guys should hump.

[/ QUOTE ]

Worst. Advice. Ever. /images/graemlins/confused.gif

[/ QUOTE ]
/images/graemlins/tongue.gif

[/ QUOTE ]

/images/graemlins/tongue.gif Seriously though. Do you think it's healthy for him to have sex with someone he just called a c*unt, among other things? Sex is not the answer to everything.

[Reef]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]

we still say i love you to each other.


I definately have strong feelings for her and she for me, but were not sexually attracted to each other (even though we both think each other are hot)



[/ QUOTE ]

denial?

[/ QUOTE ]

denial is a river in africa....no, i have made out with her before, and it was really wierd. think back to the future when marty kisses his mom.

[/ QUOTE ]

you wouldn't happen to be from Alabama now would you

[johnnybeef]

[ QUOTE ]
don't you at least want to ask for an explanation (without being a spazz over it) before sending her flowers and apologizing ?



[/ QUOTE ]

i wrote the story quickly to incorporate the most important deals....she was out with a few high school friends having fun, and she didnt want to have a talk.

[ QUOTE ]
but you should expect more from a friend , it doesn't sound like she respects you very much from the story you just told

[/ QUOTE ]

see above

[ QUOTE ]
but i think your reaction to it was pretty bad too, you shouldn't call your friends names like that :/ people with bad tempers are scary.




[/ QUOTE ]

especially when they are as big as me, which is why i want to go out of my way to show her that i am sorry for over reacting. shes one of my best friends, ive had falling outs with a best friend due to circumstances beyond my control. i dont want to have another.

[johnnybeef]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]

we still say i love you to each other.


I definately have strong feelings for her and she for me, but were not sexually attracted to each other (even though we both think each other are hot)



[/ QUOTE ]

denial?

[/ QUOTE ]

denial is a river in africa....no, i have made out with her before, and it was really wierd. think back to the future when marty kisses his mom.

[/ QUOTE ]

you wouldn't happen to be from Alabama now would you

[/ QUOTE ]

obviously you are a hell of a poker player as your attention to detail is commendable.....reread the story.

[gorie]

[ QUOTE ]
:p Seriously though. Do you think it's healthy for him to have sex with someone he just called a c*unt, among other things? Sex is not the answer to everything.

[/ QUOTE ]
no, i don't.

[Deftoner]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]


i think you guys should hump.

[/ QUOTE ]

Worst. Advice. Ever. /images/graemlins/confused.gif

[/ QUOTE ]

[gorie]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]


i think you guys should hump.

[/ QUOTE ]

Worst. Advice. Ever. /images/graemlins/confused.gif

[/ QUOTE ]

[/ QUOTE ]
/images/graemlins/tongue.gif

[Jakesta]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
:p Seriously though. Do you think it's healthy for him to have sex with someone he just called a c*unt, among other things? Sex is not the answer to everything.

[/ QUOTE ]
no, i don't.

[/ QUOTE ]

Ok, so you were just being an OOTiot. /images/graemlins/crazy.gif

[johnnybeef]

[ QUOTE ]
Girls like that are lame. Put her on your real-life ignore list. You will feel much better afterward, guaranteed.

[/ QUOTE ]

shes 22, im 25...shes still young. she'll outgrow it.

[gorie]

[ QUOTE ]
Ok, so you were just being an OOTiot. /images/graemlins/crazy.gif

[/ QUOTE ]
take it how you want. i think i was more mocking myself in comparison, than offering real advice.

well and trying to be funny.

[Deftoner]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Girls like that are lame. Put her on your real-life ignore list. You will feel much better afterward, guaranteed.

[/ QUOTE ]

shes 22, im 25...shes still young. she'll outgrow it.

[/ QUOTE ]

Yea you'd think so....

[Jakesta]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Girls like that are lame. Put her on your real-life ignore list. You will feel much better afterward, guaranteed.

[/ QUOTE ]

shes 22, im 25...shes still young. she'll outgrow it.

[/ QUOTE ]

WRONG! Girls mature much faster than guys. If she's this way at 22, she'll be this way at 40. And that's EWWW!!!!

[Jakesta]

[ QUOTE ]
i think i was more mocking myself in comparison,

[/ QUOTE ]

So you solve most problems by having sex with them?

[gorie]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
i think i was more mocking myself in comparison,

[/ QUOTE ]

So you solve most problems by having sex with them?

[/ QUOTE ]

that's not what i meant. oh nevermind ! this thread is too advanced for me.

[Phoenix1010]

I can't be expected to read all that, so I'll just respond to the title. The absolute best flowers to give to any girl is simple: her favorite kind. A lot of girls have a favorite kind of flower, and it's usually not too hard to find out. If this chick has a boyfriend or ex that you know, ask him about it. Sending them flowers that they like is thoughtful, and it wins all kinds points. If there's no way to find out, go with anything that's not roses, and you'll be fine. Lilacs and Lillies always get the job done. I checked out 1800 flowers, "Fields of Europe" and "Pink Perfection" look like good "I'm sorry" flowers.

[Jakesta]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
i think i was more mocking myself in comparison,

[/ QUOTE ]

So you solve most problems by having sex with them?

[/ QUOTE ]

that's not what i meant. oh nevermind ! this thread is too advanced for me.

[/ QUOTE ]

Lol. Chin up dude. /images/graemlins/smile.gif

[Deftoner]

Its okay, you made a simple one-liner and jakesta jumped on it as if you were giving it as great advice or something.

[Lawrence Ng]

Sending flowers because you are sorry is a bad idea. Flowers are meant for either surprises and/or Valentine's Day.

Lawrence

[SCfuji]

just out of curiosity did you get close to this girl initially because you were attracted to her? if the answer is an honest "yes", then i must say you are honestly getting owned.

[Felix_Nietsche]

Grow a backbone and learn to control your temper.

[AsiaKurosawa]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
eta 5 posts before "stick it in her pooper comes in"

Don't get her roses. Send her chocolates. Roses have too many emotional connotations.

Blackjack

[/ QUOTE ]

yeah, she thinks shes fat...so no good

[/ QUOTE ]

Depending on what you're planning on spending $-wise, a nice idea may be to get her an appt and a GC to get a pedicure/manicure if she's into that sort of thing. They're generally not expensive (12-35 depending on where), doesn't die, doesn't make you fat and is a nice treat yourself kinda indulgence. Moneywise too is pretty comprable to what I think getting flowers sent to her would cost-- and shows you put some thought into it & regret those words. Or a spa treatment/facial, runs 45-65 depending. Same idea, higher on the f*ckup foodchain.

[johnnybeef]

[ QUOTE ]
just out of curiosity did you get close to this girl initially because you were attracted to her? if the answer is an honest "yes", then i must say you are honestly getting owned.

[/ QUOTE ]

no, i had a gf and she had a bf when we first met. she ended up moving down the street and we became really close when that happened.

[gorie]

hmm i dunno. there's something a little weird about a guy calling me a c*nt one day and offering me a facial the next.

[johnnybeef]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
eta 5 posts before "stick it in her pooper comes in"

Don't get her roses. Send her chocolates. Roses have too many emotional connotations.

Blackjack

[/ QUOTE ]

yeah, she thinks shes fat...so no good

[/ QUOTE ]

Depending on what you're planning on spending $-wise, a nice idea may be to get her an appt and a GC to get a pedicure/manicure if she's into that sort of thing. They're generally not expensive (12-35 depending on where), doesn't die, doesn't make you fat and is a nice treat yourself kinda indulgence. Moneywise too is pretty comprable to what I think getting flowers sent to her would cost-- and shows you put some thought into it & regret those words. Or a spa treatment/facial, runs 45-65 depending. Same idea, higher on the f*ckup foodchain.

[/ QUOTE ]

ive done this as a gift before...but im not really looking to give her a gift. rather, i want to say "i f*cked up bad," and do something special to prove it.

[johnnybeef]

[ QUOTE ]
hmm i dunno. there's something a little weird about a guy calling me a c*nt one day and offering me a facial the next.

[/ QUOTE ]

in all honesty, i dont think i actually dropped any c bombs which my just be my saving grace...i just said f*ck you a bunch. i dont know why i put that in the op

[johnnybeef]

[ QUOTE ]
Sending flowers because you are sorry is a bad idea. Flowers are meant for either surprises and/or Valentine's Day.

Lawrence

[/ QUOTE ]

what do you suggest i do instead. i want to do something that is going out of my way to show that i messed up

[johnnybeef]

[ QUOTE ]
Grow a backbone and learn to control your temper.

[/ QUOTE ]

i feel that i do have a backbone by being willing to admit that i messed up. my temper shows up maybe once or twice a year, and that is only when someone very close to me does something that is wrong to me. imo, hanging up on someone when they are trying to say something is the rudest thing one person can do to another, and is usually enough for my temper to get going. the problem with this situation was that i was already a little salty with her. they say that anger is like a piano rolling down a hill...the earlier you stop it the easier it is going to be. needless to say, this piano picked up speed from an outside force.

[AsiaKurosawa]

[ QUOTE ]


ive done this as a gift before...but im not really looking to give her a gift. rather, i want to say "i f*cked up bad," and do something special to prove it.

[/ QUOTE ]

Ah, then stargazers. /images/graemlins/smile.gif
http://www.flowerbud.com/images/flowers/stargazers.jpg

[EliteNinja]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
eta 5 posts before "stick it in her pooper comes in"

Don't get her roses. Send her chocolates. Roses have too many emotional connotations.

Blackjack

[/ QUOTE ]

yeah, she thinks shes fat...so no good

[/ QUOTE ]

Depending on what you're planning on spending $-wise, a nice idea may be to get her an appt and a GC to get a pedicure/manicure if she's into that sort of thing. They're generally not expensive (12-35 depending on where), doesn't die, doesn't make you fat and is a nice treat yourself kinda indulgence. Moneywise too is pretty comprable to what I think getting flowers sent to her would cost-- and shows you put some thought into it & regret those words. Or a spa treatment/facial, runs 45-65 depending. Same idea, higher on the f*ckup foodchain.

[/ QUOTE ]

Wow, that is an awesome idea, Asia K!
I guess you would know... being non-male and all.

If I have any girl problems, I'm askin' you!

[gorie]

[ QUOTE ]
what do you suggest i do instead. i want to do something that is going out of my way to show that i messed up

[/ QUOTE ]

i always appreciate a nice stick figure drawing.

[durron597]

I think what she did is worse. Not the whole "not inviting you thing" but more the "making you wait 4 hours" and then "refusing to speak to you and having a friend lie to you".

Trust is more important than anything. She did not show you trust and respect. On your end an apology is in order, but so is one from her. You are not enough at fault here for you to be the one buying her flowers.

[johnnybeef]

[ QUOTE ]
I think what she did is worse. Not the whole "not inviting you thing" but more the "making you wait 4 hours" and then "refusing to speak to you and having a friend lie to you".

Trust is more important than anything. She did not show you trust and respect. On your end an apology is in order, but so is one from her. You are not enough at fault here for you to be the one buying her flowers.

[/ QUOTE ]

i agree...and i am still really pissed at her even though it happened over a day ago. i just wanted to let her know that i am sorry for over reacting as at 6'1 235 im a pretty scary guy when angry.

[Pinga]

[ QUOTE ]
what do you suggest i do instead. i want to do something that is going out of my way to show that i messed up

[/ QUOTE ]

Flowers are fine. Girls love getting flowers. Just call a local florist.

Describe your relationship and the reason for the flowers. This helps them choose well. It can also make them sympathize with you. If you play it up right you can get something better than average.

I also like to mention something like: Any kind of flowers is fine. I just don't want to send her something cheap or small. I want her to be stunned when she sees it. Can you make something special for $XX?

Around here $75 will do well, $100 is pretty guaranteed, and more will get something memorable.

FWIW, if this happened with my buddy Bob I don't think I would send him flowers. I would probably say, "sorry I was a dickhead" the next time I saw him.

[jakethebake]

[ QUOTE ]
I have a girl who i am very close to. Shes not my girlfriend, but we still say i love you to each other. I liken her to my little sister or a girlfriend with whom i have no sexual relations with. I definately have strong feelings for her and she for me, but were not sexually attracted to each other (even though we both think each other are hot). Anyways, she will everyonce in a while make plans with me and just dump out on them (which pisses me off a little especially when we have had them for a while).

[/ QUOTE ]

Liar. This is impossible. It has been scientifically proven that a man cannot have strong feeling for a woman and think she's hot w/o being sexually attracted to her. Either she's not at all hot or you say you're not attracted to her because she's not interested in you or you're gay.

[The Yugoslavian]

I think flowers is not necessarily a bad move. However, I would be careful to make it clear that you are trying to diffuse the situation b/c you value your friendship but not that you are at all okay with the way you were strung along.

Flowers with a message saying something like 'I definitely was out of line....and am not at all happy with the way everything went down. I'm sorry and would like to talk with you about this soon when we're both in better mental states,' sounds like a decent idea.

As far as how you could handle what bothered you and what bothered her (it should be more obvious what bothered her the most from your story...) it will be fairly tricky. In fact, given the weirdness with some other guy on the phone and such there is a good chance that something more than or other than that dinner she originally was talking about was goin' on. And she doesn't feel comfortable discussing it straight up with you. If the two of you really are 'just friends' and good ones at that I'd highly recommend trying to make it cleary that you *want* to at least get direct information when you call her up.

There is also the chance that this is all a really big misunderstanding and got out of control before the logical reason for the weirdness could be relayed back to you.

Oh..and if you're as beefy as you sound and have a bit of a temper (which she'd know about being close friends and all) perhaps she fears you and cannot handle leveling with you when she knows she has done something that you will be upset/angry about. This is no good....

Yugoslav