Collecting Debt from a Friend

[augie00]

My best friend is a real douchebag when it comes to money. He is AWFUL about paying other people back.

About a month ago I let him borrow $46 for "food and cigarettes" as he said. He told me he would pay me back when we got back from college.

It has been two weeks since we have gotten back, and he has not paid me back. I say something nearly every time I see him. Every time I say something he says "I don't really have the money right now" and manages to make me look like a jerk for asking.

I would estimate that he has spent at least $40 while we have been together in the last weeks, and at least $100 on his own. I know this because he TELLS ME ABOUT CRAP HE BUYS WITH THE MONEY THAT HE OWES ME!

He has two jobs. He clearly has had the money, he simply does not want to pay me. $46 does not mean much to me, but it's the principle of the matter.

[fluxrad]

Write it off.

Is the $46 worth more than the friendship? If not, then let it slide. If it is, then the guy can go [censored] himself.

[YourFoxyGrandma]

When my friends owe me money, I just get them to pay for my food and stuff when we're out.

[HopeydaFish]

I've never understood people like this. For all intents and purposes, he basically stole $46 from you. However, the money isn't really the issue here. The fact that he's putting you off and then telling you about stuff he's buying shows a lack of class and a lack of respect.

[Dex]

[ QUOTE ]
Write it off.

Is the $46 worth more than the friendship? If not, then let it slide. If it is, then the guy can go [censored] himself.

[/ QUOTE ]

Also, don't loan him another dime. Ever.

[augie00]

[ QUOTE ]
Also, don't loan him another dime. Ever.

[/ QUOTE ]

Of course.

[tbach24]

Cigarettes...what a joke. There's really nothing worse in a friendship than someone who is short on cash and a smoker. I know it has hurt a couple potential good friendships I've had.

[InchoateHand]

If he's your "best friend," thats a complete write-off.

Over the years relatively large sums of money have flowed both ways with close friends. Some have come out way ahead, and sometimes I've gotten lots of free [censored]. Some people say "borrow" and the really mean "give." If its a good friend, why care?

If the "principle" matters, he is clearly isn't your "best friend," and I would just not spend another dime on him. I have a couple ungrateful, stingy, tight-wad, take-and-take friends, but you just don't spend money on them, don't count them as "best" friends and try to appreciate their less infuriating characteristics.

[augie00]

[ QUOTE ]
If its a good friend, why care?

[/ QUOTE ]

If he had said, "I really need some money, and I don't know if I'll be able to pay you back" I would have simply given it to him.

When he has the money and flat out won't pay me back, while buying a bunch of crap at the same time, I simply can't let it go. I don't like letting people walk over me.

[gorie]

that's pretty crappy of him. be sure to conveniently never have money on you anytime you're out with him.

he's probably thinking "if he can afford a sex chair, he can afford buying me some cigs"

[-Skeme-]

He's not a good friend. I would honestly consider defriending him. If someone gives you their word they'll do something and don't do it, no matter how mundane the promise is.. they're worthless. A real friend would say, "Augie, man I'm really sorry. I know I told you I'd have your money, but something came up. I promise the next paycheck I get, I will reserve $46 and repay you. Please understand, thanks, friend."

[Hojglad]

[ QUOTE ]
When he has the money and flat out won't pay me back, while buying a bunch of crap at the same time, I simply can't let it go. I don't like letting people walk over me.

[/ QUOTE ]
Yet you are sitting here posting about it instead of just being a man and telling him you want it back, and you aren't going anywhere until he pays up. Have you been asking him for it when other people are around? People are usually less receptive to this sort of thing. Try to seek him out when he's alone.

If he doesn't pay it back, beat it out of him. After this, proceed to have sex with his significant other.

[Duke]

It's $46.

~D

[krazyace5]

I just to what the credit card companies do, write it off as a loss and never let that person borrow money again.

And never loan a significant amount of money to anyone unless you are certain they are good for it.

[Jman28]

[ QUOTE ]
He's not a good friend. I would honestly consider defriending him. If someone gives you their word they'll do something and don't do it, no matter how mundane the promise is.. they're worthless. A real friend would say, "Augie, man I'm really sorry. I know I told you I'd have your money, but something came up. I promise the next paycheck I get, I will reserve $46 and repay you. Please understand, thanks, friend."

[/ QUOTE ]

Perfectly put. I've defriended for this myself.

[WillMagic]

NEVER loan money to friends.

Either give them the money or send them to the bank. Trust me, friendships run a lot smoother this way. It doesn't matter how small the sum is, loaning money to friends sucks.

But despite this, your friend sounds like an [censored], and you might want to reevaluate his standing.

Will

[HopeydaFish]

[ QUOTE ]
It's $46.

~D

[/ QUOTE ]

It's the principle of it. It doesn't matter of it's $46 or $460. The fact is that the guy is lying to his friend about not being able to pay him back while spending much more than that and bragging about it. He's being a jerk.

[HopeydaFish]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
He's not a good friend. I would honestly consider defriending him. If someone gives you their word they'll do something and don't do it, no matter how mundane the promise is.. they're worthless. A real friend would say, "Augie, man I'm really sorry. I know I told you I'd have your money, but something came up. I promise the next paycheck I get, I will reserve $46 and repay you. Please understand, thanks, friend."

[/ QUOTE ]

Perfectly put. I've defriended for this myself.

[/ QUOTE ]

I defriended for $20 awhile back. I'd made a bet on the Super Bowl with a friend of mine and I won the bet. After the game, he claimed he didn't have the $20. I didn't see him for a couple of weeks after that, and forgot to ask him for the money the next time I saw him (after all, it was only $20). What finally set me off is when we were out one night and my bar bill came out to $20 and I remembered that he owed me that much. I asked him to pay my bill to cover our debt and he told me he didn't have the money on him and then joked about it. I'd seen a wad of bills in his wallet just a few minutes before, so I knew he was lying. I paid the bill myself. The next couple of times I saw him, he'd make jokes in front of other people about the $20 he owed me for the Super Bowl. Totally classless. After the second or third joke, I stopped considering him a friend.

[Felix_Nietsche]

For a mere $46 investment you NEVER have to loan money to him again. If he ever asks you for money again say, just take it out of the $46 you owe me. After saying this once or twice, he'll never ask you again. /images/graemlins/smile.gif
If he does have the chutzpah to persist then say, "I don't think that is a good idea".

Your 'friend' must have some redeeming qualities where you want to stay friends ...BUT... you'll lose a 'friend' if you keep pressuring him. If you no longer care about being friends with him then go ahead and turn up the pressure.

I've had friends screw me out of money and the choice is either end the friendship or let the money go. You may not like the choices but THOSE are your choices. If he is cool to hang out with then f*** the money and accept that loaning money to him is bad idea. If it were me, forget the money, be friends, and be 100% RUTHLESS in NOT EVER loaning him another dime (in a nice way, polite but firm).

[-Skeme-]

[ QUOTE ]
It's $46.

~D

[/ QUOTE ]

Exactly. Said friend should have no problem paying back such an insignificant amount of money.

It's the principle, man.