Coleman
05-26-2005, 06:32 PM
(a bad-beat tale set to music)
The Devil Went Down To Coleman’s
to the tune of "The Devil Went Down to Georgia" (with apologies to Charlie Daniels)
The devil went down to Coleman’s
He was looking for a pot to steal
He was way behind but he was in the blind
And he was ready to see a deal
So the devil sat down at the table side
And said, "Boy" let me tell you what
I guess you didn't know it
But I'm a poker player too
And if you'd care to take a dare
I'll play this hand with you
Now you played pretty good poker, boy
But give the devil his due
I bet a this pile of gold against your soul
Cause I think I'm better than you
The boy said "My name's Johnny
And it might be a sin
But I'll take your bet, your gonna regret
Cause I'm the best that's ever been"
Johnny shuffle up your chips
And play your hole cards hard
Cause hell's broke loose at Coleman’s
And the devil deals the cards
And if you win
You get these shiny Paulsons made of gold
But if you lose, the devil gets your soul
The devil opened up with a raise
And he said "I'll start this show"
And fire flew from his finger tips
As he dealt the flop out slow
Well the young man thought about it
He was holdin’ and Ace and a Ten
The flop was good, and he was in a mood
So he put all his chips in
El Diablo looked down at his hand
An evil grin grew on his face
A three and four and nothin’ more
But the flop was Two, Five, Ace
When the flop was finished Johnny said
Well you're, pretty good old son
But you play some sh*t and though you sometimes hit
I think you’re gonna fall.
Then the devil spoke with a hellish croak
“Alright, boy, I guess I’ll call”
Dogs in the crock pot run boys run
Monkeyed up right put ‘em on a bun
Kraut in the pan cooked hot and slow
Johnny get your gun now no-child-no
Johnny turned his cards up
Showed his Ace and Ten
The devil laughed with eyes of fire
He knew his straight would win
But the next card up was another Ace
Johnny had three of a kind
When the river dropped with a final Ace
Satan knew he was in a bind
The devil bowed his head
As if he had been topped
Johnny yelled “(Censored),(censored),(censored)
You (censored censored)had to be stopped!”
But when the devil lifted up his head
There fell a deadly hush
That final Ace had given him
A five-high spade straight flush.
Then the devil reached in with his iron fist
And ripped out Johnny’s soul
And Johnny’s shell got up and walked
Into his little hole.
And then with glee the devil
Slurped down Johnny’s soul
And then he said with eyes of red
“Man! I’m on a roll”
With eyes aghast and jaws aslack
We stared with blank expression
And privately we hoped John’s soul
Would give him eternal indigestion.
Dogs in the crock pot run boys run
Monkeyed up right put ‘em on a bun
Kraut in the pan cooked hot and slow
Johnny get your gun now no-child-no
(a true story, 5-21-05)
The Devil Went Down To Coleman’s
to the tune of "The Devil Went Down to Georgia" (with apologies to Charlie Daniels)
The devil went down to Coleman’s
He was looking for a pot to steal
He was way behind but he was in the blind
And he was ready to see a deal
So the devil sat down at the table side
And said, "Boy" let me tell you what
I guess you didn't know it
But I'm a poker player too
And if you'd care to take a dare
I'll play this hand with you
Now you played pretty good poker, boy
But give the devil his due
I bet a this pile of gold against your soul
Cause I think I'm better than you
The boy said "My name's Johnny
And it might be a sin
But I'll take your bet, your gonna regret
Cause I'm the best that's ever been"
Johnny shuffle up your chips
And play your hole cards hard
Cause hell's broke loose at Coleman’s
And the devil deals the cards
And if you win
You get these shiny Paulsons made of gold
But if you lose, the devil gets your soul
The devil opened up with a raise
And he said "I'll start this show"
And fire flew from his finger tips
As he dealt the flop out slow
Well the young man thought about it
He was holdin’ and Ace and a Ten
The flop was good, and he was in a mood
So he put all his chips in
El Diablo looked down at his hand
An evil grin grew on his face
A three and four and nothin’ more
But the flop was Two, Five, Ace
When the flop was finished Johnny said
Well you're, pretty good old son
But you play some sh*t and though you sometimes hit
I think you’re gonna fall.
Then the devil spoke with a hellish croak
“Alright, boy, I guess I’ll call”
Dogs in the crock pot run boys run
Monkeyed up right put ‘em on a bun
Kraut in the pan cooked hot and slow
Johnny get your gun now no-child-no
Johnny turned his cards up
Showed his Ace and Ten
The devil laughed with eyes of fire
He knew his straight would win
But the next card up was another Ace
Johnny had three of a kind
When the river dropped with a final Ace
Satan knew he was in a bind
The devil bowed his head
As if he had been topped
Johnny yelled “(Censored),(censored),(censored)
You (censored censored)had to be stopped!”
But when the devil lifted up his head
There fell a deadly hush
That final Ace had given him
A five-high spade straight flush.
Then the devil reached in with his iron fist
And ripped out Johnny’s soul
And Johnny’s shell got up and walked
Into his little hole.
And then with glee the devil
Slurped down Johnny’s soul
And then he said with eyes of red
“Man! I’m on a roll”
With eyes aghast and jaws aslack
We stared with blank expression
And privately we hoped John’s soul
Would give him eternal indigestion.
Dogs in the crock pot run boys run
Monkeyed up right put ‘em on a bun
Kraut in the pan cooked hot and slow
Johnny get your gun now no-child-no
(a true story, 5-21-05)