What is the biggest lie you've told to impress a girl? [Archive]

Chris Daddy Cool

05-26-2005, 02:09 AM

[ QUOTE ]

BTW CDC... we need your input on this one.

[/ QUOTE ]

details are sketchy because lets face it, college kids don't neccessarily have the best memories at parties for various reasons

yeah i've been to prison.

yeah i've been in a threesome.

yeah, i didn't make out with your best friend. /images/graemlins/grin.gif

Chris Daddy Cool

05-26-2005, 02:10 AM

[ QUOTE ]
I'm a good lay

[/ QUOTE ]

nevermind. i may have to change my answer to this.

Michael Davis

05-26-2005, 02:11 AM

Well despite my impending dropout status I intend to masquerade as a graduate student with heavy emphasis on my professor-like responsibilities.

-Michael

Robk

05-26-2005, 02:17 AM

i once told a woman i coined the phrase "pardon my french"

Chris Daddy Cool

05-26-2005, 02:19 AM

[ QUOTE ]
i once told a woman i coined the phrase "pardon my french"

[/ QUOTE ]

was she impressed?

SackUp

05-26-2005, 02:19 AM

12 inch hammer

Chris Daddy Cool

05-26-2005, 02:21 AM

[ QUOTE ]
12 inch hammer

[/ QUOTE ]

did she get a chance to test this claim firsthand?

Duke

05-26-2005, 02:21 AM

[ QUOTE ]
i once told a woman i coined the phrase "pardon my french"

[/ QUOTE ]

Why not just tell her you invented Post-its?

And then I thought maybe, just maybe, you could raise the viscosity by adding a complex glucose derivative during the emulsification process and it turns out I was right.

~D

Duke

05-26-2005, 02:22 AM

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
12 inch hammer

[/ QUOTE ]

did she get a chance to test this claim firsthand?

[/ QUOTE ]

That would suck to convince a chick you were hung like John Holmes and only get a handjob out of the deal.

~D

rmarotti

05-26-2005, 02:23 AM

potd

B00T

05-26-2005, 02:24 AM

I am friends with Tobey Maguire and know him from playing poker. (when she was unsure how stable poker income was and how she mentioned she liked him) I couldnt even pick him out of a lineup.

Pocket Trips

05-26-2005, 02:27 AM

once told a girl who broke into tears when "wish you were here" by pink floyd came on because it reminded her of a freind that died in a car accident that i also lost a freind and the song reminded me of him.... wow as i said in the other thread I really am going to hell /images/graemlins/confused.gif

ZeeJustin

05-26-2005, 02:28 AM

I'm 21.

Talk2BigSteve

05-26-2005, 02:32 AM

LOL you are so damn cool, I just wish I could go back to your age and know then what I know about poker now I would be a [censored] millionaire by now, I am only 1 week younger than Daniel Negreanu /images/graemlins/confused.gif

Big Steve /images/graemlins/cool.gif

PS have you picked a car yet???

SmileyEH

05-26-2005, 02:40 AM

Impressing girls is really pointless IMO. Either they want to have a relationship or [censored] or whatever or they dont.

-SmileyEH

Robk

05-26-2005, 02:41 AM

she told me to "go to hell", and i took the bus home

Eurotrash

05-26-2005, 02:47 AM

I was hoping yours would be that you really DO go to Hogwarts

http://img112.echo.cx/img112/9137/me2ni.jpg

DcifrThs

05-26-2005, 02:54 AM

[ QUOTE ]
Impressing girls is really pointless IMO. Either they want to have a relationship or [censored] or whatever or they dont.

-SmileyEH

[/ QUOTE ]

yea i was trying to think of the best lie ive told a girl for the purpose of impressing her.

i have a tendancy to lie in the flow of conversation to keep it going so i dont lose her interst...but just change names and whatever...or just lie about little things to keep the track or whatever we're talking about going...

cant think of a whopper i told any girl...

ive only said "i love you" once and it was meant, i never said "i do", and since im not a girl i can't say "im yours"

-Barron

Michael Davis

05-26-2005, 03:00 AM

"i can't say 'im yours'"

Come to California and I'll beat you till you love me.

-Michael

Chairman Wood

05-26-2005, 03:00 AM

I found a great deal of humor in this. Does the story get any better or should we just leave it as this?

ZeeJustin

05-26-2005, 03:04 AM

[ QUOTE ]
LOL you are so damn cool, I just wish I could go back to your age and know then what I know about poker now I would be a [censored] millionaire by now, I am only 1 week younger than Daniel Negreanu /images/graemlins/confused.gif

Big Steve /images/graemlins/cool.gif

PS have you picked a car yet???

[/ QUOTE ]

Barring a horrible test-drive experience, I think I'm gonna go with a g35. 2002 or 2003 silver coupe most likely.

peachy

05-26-2005, 03:07 AM

[ QUOTE ]
I love you.

also

I just got accepted to Harvard.

[/ QUOTE ]

niether of those impress me

Chairman Wood

05-26-2005, 03:10 AM

I was in Argentina. I told a girl who was quite drunk and pretty [censored] hot and wanted to get into being an actress that I directed the movie Bring it On. I figured it was a shitty enough movie that it was believable. Things ended well.

PokerFink

05-26-2005, 03:10 AM

I have a 10" penis.

Impressed?

Boris

05-26-2005, 03:12 AM

nice.

TimM

05-26-2005, 03:13 AM

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I love you.

also

I just got accepted to Harvard.

[/ QUOTE ]

niether of those impress me

[/ QUOTE ]

Peachy you are so cool, I can't believe they let me post on the same message board as you.

peachy

05-26-2005, 03:14 AM

[ QUOTE ]
I have a 10" penis.

Impressed?

[/ QUOTE ]

not in the least

2005

05-26-2005, 03:15 AM

ZJ, have you talked to anyone at an Infiniti dealership? When I was looking for my car they just kind of looked at me like I was worthless. I was going to buy a G35, but they were so snobby about it I didn't.

Eurotrash

05-26-2005, 03:22 AM

[ QUOTE ]
Peachy you are so cool, I can't believe they let me post on the same message board as you.

[/ QUOTE ]

I guess you didn't get the memo... your account is to be terminated immediately. mine too, in fact; peachy has a lot of stroke around here.

daryn

05-26-2005, 03:24 AM

<blockquote>In risposta di:<hr />
ZJ, have you talked to anyone at an Infiniti dealership? When I was looking for my car they just kind of looked at me like I was worthless. I was going to buy a G35, but they were so snobby about it I didn't.

[/ QUOTE ]

whoa, you must really not have wanted the car if you let some jerk salesman ruin it for you.

Justin A

05-26-2005, 03:26 AM

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Peachy you are so cool, I can't believe they let me post on the same message board as you.

[/ QUOTE ]

I guess you didn't get the memo... your account is to be terminated immediately. mine too, in fact; peachy has a lot of stroke around here.

[/ QUOTE ]

No pun intended?

Btw Peachy, STFU.

TimM

05-26-2005, 03:26 AM

[ QUOTE ]
peachy has a lot of stroke around here.

[/ QUOTE ]

How appropriate...

SmileyEH

05-26-2005, 03:27 AM

[ QUOTE ]
I was hoping yours would be that you really DO go to Hogwarts

http://img112.echo.cx/img112/9137/me2ni.jpg

[/ QUOTE ]

Only used that once!

-SmileyEH

Eurotrash

05-26-2005, 03:28 AM

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Peachy you are so cool, I can't believe they let me post on the same message board as you.

[/ QUOTE ]

I guess you didn't get the memo... your account is to be terminated immediately. mine too, in fact; peachy has a lot of stroke around here.

[/ QUOTE ]

No pun intended?

Btw Peachy, STFU.

[/ QUOTE ]

ZING! pun intended of course. /images/graemlins/cool.gif

Rotating Rabbit

05-26-2005, 03:28 AM

[ QUOTE ]
Impressing girls is really pointless IMO. Either they want to have a relationship or [censored] or whatever or they dont.

-SmileyEH

[/ QUOTE ]

...And it looks infinitely better if they have to find about your material wealth on their own over a period of time.

ZeeJustin

05-26-2005, 03:36 AM

peachy

05-26-2005, 03:39 AM

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Peachy you are so cool, I can't believe they let me post on the same message board as you.

[/ QUOTE ]

I guess you didn't get the memo... your account is to be terminated immediately. mine too, in fact; peachy has a lot of stroke around here.

[/ QUOTE ]

No pun intended?

Btw Peachy, STFU.

[/ QUOTE ]

aawww i can speak mah opinion babe /images/graemlins/laugh.gif now now!

Chairman Wood

05-26-2005, 03:42 AM

Yeah and you can stroke all you want naw naw

Justin A

05-26-2005, 03:46 AM

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Peachy you are so cool, I can't believe they let me post on the same message board as you.

[/ QUOTE ]

I guess you didn't get the memo... your account is to be terminated immediately. mine too, in fact; peachy has a lot of stroke around here.

[/ QUOTE ]

No pun intended?

Btw Peachy, STFU.

[/ QUOTE ]

aawww i can speak mah opinion babe /images/graemlins/laugh.gif now now!

[/ QUOTE ]

Of course you can. But since you didn't get the point of my post, I'll spell it out for you. Nobody cares whether or not you're impressed by the stupid things they've said to impress a girl. So STFU.

peachy

05-26-2005, 03:48 AM

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Peachy you are so cool, I can't believe they let me post on the same message board as you.

[/ QUOTE ]

I guess you didn't get the memo... your account is to be terminated immediately. mine too, in fact; peachy has a lot of stroke around here.

[/ QUOTE ]

No pun intended?

Btw Peachy, STFU.

[/ QUOTE ]

aawww i can speak mah opinion babe /images/graemlins/laugh.gif now now!

[/ QUOTE ]

Of course you can. But since you didn't get the point of my post, I'll spell it out for you. Nobody cares whether or not you're impressed by the stupid things they've said to impress a girl. So STFU.

[/ QUOTE ]

thx...but my point was to give advice IE. so that he didnt look like a chump using those lines anymore...but thx for being a tardo

Ulysses

05-26-2005, 03:49 AM

I pretended to be really into electronic music and clubbing for a few months.

Ulysses

05-26-2005, 03:50 AM

[ QUOTE ]
once told a girl who broke into tears when "wish you were here" by pink floyd came on because it reminded her of a freind that died in a car accident that i also lost a freind and the song reminded me of him.... wow as i said in the other thread I really am going to hell /images/graemlins/confused.gif

[/ QUOTE ]

so wrong, yet so great.

Ulysses

05-26-2005, 03:52 AM

I thought with you it was "I really care about you and I've never felt like this about anyone and you are just so special to me" to a nice chick while making arrangements to visit some sluts for a threesome.

2005

05-26-2005, 03:53 AM

It was kind of a toss up and that threw me over the edge the other way.

daryn

05-26-2005, 03:54 AM

<blockquote>In risposta di:<hr />
It was kind of a toss up and that threw me over the edge the other way.

[/ QUOTE ]

fair enough,

what did you end up with?

2005

05-26-2005, 04:11 AM

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
It was kind of a toss up and that threw me over the edge the other way.

[/ QUOTE ]

fair enough,

what did you end up with?

[/ QUOTE ]

'05 Acura TL

jakethebake

05-26-2005, 08:46 AM

[ QUOTE ]
I pretended to be really into electronic music and clubbing for a few months.

[/ QUOTE ]

I can the masked man hanging out in the trendy techno clubs... /images/graemlins/grin.gif

partygirluk

05-26-2005, 09:06 AM

I promise I had no idea she was your mom

Freakin

05-26-2005, 11:19 AM

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
ZJ, have you talked to anyone at an Infiniti dealership? When I was looking for my car they just kind of looked at me like I was worthless. I was going to buy a G35, but they were so snobby about it I didn't.

[/ QUOTE ]

The current plan is to buy it from carmax.

[/ QUOTE ]

Check out the acura TSX. I loved the g35 till I drove a few. The opposite is true for the TSX, and all other acuras. Prices should be comparable, with better historic reliability from acuras.

Freakin

jakethebake

05-26-2005, 11:23 AM

Hello. My name is Mason Malmuth. /images/graemlins/grin.gif

Toro

05-26-2005, 11:23 AM

My buddy and me used to tell them we were professional football players for the Patriots. This was a little bit of a stretch as we were semi-professional football players for the Colonials in the Eastern League but our uniforms were identical to the Patriots at the time.

Btw, I have no idea why they called it semi-pro football because we never got paid a dime.

M2d

05-26-2005, 11:24 AM

and on that note, I had a friend who tried the act-gay-so-she-tries-to-turn-you-straight line. she set him up with a blind date. that happened to be a guy.

flawless_victory

05-26-2005, 11:45 AM

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
It was kind of a toss up and that threw me over the edge the other way.

[/ QUOTE ]

fair enough,

what did you end up with?

[/ QUOTE ]

'05 Acura TL

[/ QUOTE ]do you like it? i was gonna buy a G35, but my girl wants me to drive/ buy a TL...

drewjustdrew

05-26-2005, 12:39 PM

[ QUOTE ]
Impressing girls is really pointless IMO. Either they want to have a relationship or [censored] or whatever or they dont.

-SmileyEH

[/ QUOTE ]

Did this really work?

Mine is "I can lick my eyebrows"

Alobar

05-26-2005, 01:04 PM

[ QUOTE ]
Hello. My name is Mason Malmuth. /images/graemlins/grin.gif

[/ QUOTE ]

Granny is a guy, so it doesnt quite work for this thread /images/graemlins/smile.gif

scotty34

05-26-2005, 01:19 PM

"Yes, this is my truck" and "I'm renting a basement suite" while picking up a girl and bringing her to my parents place while they were out of town.

etgryphon

05-26-2005, 01:51 PM

[ QUOTE ]
ZJ, have you talked to anyone at an Infiniti dealership? When I was looking for my car they just kind of looked at me like I was worthless. I was going to buy a G35, but they were so snobby about it I didn't.

[/ QUOTE ]

Same thing happened to me except I was buyin the 350Z. The salesmen wouldn't give me the time of day. So I shrugged it off. I had a friend who worked for Nissan Corporate who got me a sick deal from another dealership.

After I bought the car, I drove to the place that wouldn't even talk to me about the car with the VP for the Mid-Atlantic from Nissan and talk to the manager of the dealership and told him that this is the car I would have bought from him.

- ZJ: The people at Rosenthal up in Tysons are the people who wouldn't give me the time of day. They got a bad rep in the Nissan/Infinity community.

-Gryph

Shajen

05-26-2005, 02:02 PM

...No, those pants don't make your butt look fat.

/images/graemlins/blush.gif

DMBFan23

05-26-2005, 02:03 PM

[ QUOTE ]
What is the biggest lie you've told to impress a girl?

[/ QUOTE ]

I havent read any responses yet but this is one of the greater OOT topics I've seen in a while.

EDIT: and it had so much potential...

2005

05-26-2005, 02:04 PM

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
It was kind of a toss up and that threw me over the edge the other way.

[/ QUOTE ]

fair enough,

what did you end up with?

[/ QUOTE ]

'05 Acura TL

[/ QUOTE ]do you like it? i was gonna buy a G35, but my girl wants me to drive/ buy a TL...

[/ QUOTE ]

Love it, I'm glad I went with it. It drives really nice and looks awesome. It will be with me for a while.

Gavin

Sponger15SB

05-26-2005, 02:08 PM

When I was in bed with this chick I told her I didn't have gonorrhea. Boy was she in for a suprise!

Talk2BigSteve

05-26-2005, 02:08 PM

[ QUOTE ]
I found a great deal of humor in this. Does the story get any better or should we just leave it as this?

[/ QUOTE ]

I have told enough stories so we will leave that one alone /images/graemlins/shocked.gif ......ahhh [censored] it I will tell this one too

It was Very Cruel thing I did at a party, there was an UGLY Fat Chick there and my friends dared me to try to convince her that I was...#1 Straight and #2 Head over [censored] Heals in love with her and #3 Kiss her. I won the bet when she was ready to do the nasty, I gave the signal that I had won and my friend Chris comes up and goes....

Chris: "What are you doing with her?"
Me: : "We are about to get out of here and go have some real fun, if you know what I mean."

She giggles and snorts a laugh. (I almost lost it there laughing but I maintained)

Chris: "But I thought you were gay?"

Now she looks confused, poor girl.

Me: "I am not [censored] gay!!!"
Chris: "Could have fooled me!"
Me: "WTF ever!"

I grab her and kiss her full on the lips.

Me: "Did that look gay to you?"

Without saying a wordChris grabs me and plants a Big Kiss on me my lips and she is shocked as I don't push away from Chris.

The kiss ends and I turn to her and said.

Me to Her: "He is right, gay is better!"

And we turn and Chris and I leave arm in arm and She leaves in tears. I think her name was Cindy or something like that /images/graemlins/confused.gif

Big Steve /images/graemlins/cool.gif

Sponger15SB

05-26-2005, 02:12 PM

You bitch!

bosoxfan

05-26-2005, 02:16 PM

[ QUOTE ]
What is the biggest lie you've told to impress a girl?

[/ QUOTE ]

I made the list of cool kids from OOT. /images/graemlins/blush.gif

DMBFan23

05-26-2005, 02:17 PM

her: "I think before we do this we should know each other's past"

me: "ok, go for it"

her: "well, I've been with two guys, and they were both boyfriends"

me: "Really? Seems like we're pretty similar, I've only slept with my 3 former girlfriends"

kurosh

05-26-2005, 02:17 PM

Trying to impress girls is overrated IMO. If you want them to be attracted to you, grab their attention for a sec then ignore them. For example, if a girl comes over, start playing poker and barely talk to them. I have gotten BJs while playing from doing that.

Shajen

05-26-2005, 02:18 PM

[ QUOTE ]
her: "I think before we do this we should know each other's past"

me: "ok, go for it"

her: "well, I've been with two guys, and they were both boyfriends"

me: "Really? Seems like we're pretty similar, I've only slept with my 3 former girlfriends"

[/ QUOTE ]

No, the OP asked for a LIE.

/images/graemlins/wink.gif

Talk2BigSteve

05-26-2005, 02:18 PM

[ QUOTE ]
When I was in bed with this chick I told her I didn't have gonorrhea. Boy was she in for a suprise!

[/ QUOTE ]

Lol and you called me a bitch???

Big Steve /images/graemlins/cool.gif

scotty34

05-26-2005, 02:19 PM

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
What is the biggest lie you've told to impress a girl?

[/ QUOTE ]

I made the list of cool kids from OOT. /images/graemlins/blush.gif

[/ QUOTE ]

nh

It's funny because I always have to catch myself when I'm about to bring up something that I read on 2+2 in a real conversation. I know one of these days, its just going to slip, and some girl is just going to look at me thinking 'WTF'

woodguy

05-26-2005, 02:47 PM

In 1993, when I was 21 The Montreal Canadiens (who won the Stanley Cup that year) were in town to play the Oilers.

A good friend of mine had grown up with one of the Canadiens and he told us to meet him at one of the hottest bars in town after the game, as the Canadiens were off the next day, so were staying in Edmonton overnight, and were going out to party.

I had recently torn my ACL skiing and was in a full leg cast on my left leg.

We got to the bar before the Canadiens showed up. Although me and my buddy were young good looking guys we didn't even register on the radar of the top tier of the girls in that bar, as we didn't stink of $$$.

After the Canadiens got to the bar, some of them came over and sat at our table, and I instantly became an "injuried rookie" travelling with the team.

So I went from not being on their radar to sucking tequila out of the navels of the hottest women in the bar in about 1/2 hr.

Also having the built in excuse of "I have to leave honey, my plane leaves in an hour, I call you next time I'm in town" for the morning was gold.

Regards,
Woodguy

scotty34

05-26-2005, 02:53 PM

Clearly the biggest and best lie yet, and this one will actually impress a lot of girls.

Publos Nemesis

05-26-2005, 03:04 PM

[ QUOTE ]
I loved the g35 till I drove a few. The opposite is true for the TSX, and all other acuras. Prices should be comparable, with better historic reliability from acuras.

[/ QUOTE ]

Are you kidding? My 2004 G35 is friggin awesome. My friends, and their parents are jealous. Try and find the coup though, less roomy, but looks better.

Big lies:
I want to make love to you.
C'mon, it won't hurt a bit.
You're so hot.
You're not fat.

jakethebake

05-26-2005, 03:19 PM

[ QUOTE ]
You're not fat.

[/ QUOTE ]

This is awesome! Telling lies to try to [censored] a fat chick. /images/graemlins/grin.gif

Lawrence Ng

05-26-2005, 04:53 PM

[ QUOTE ]
What is the biggest lie you've told to impress a girl?

[/ QUOTE ]

Of course I don't sleep around.

Of course I like your tits, they're perfect.

Lawrence

thatpfunk

05-26-2005, 05:17 PM

I'm writing a screenplay. I think you're really interesting and want to know your story.

poker-penguin

05-26-2005, 05:19 PM

Back when I was in the army (as a 17 year old Officer Trainee), I used to tell chicks at the bar that I was going on final leave before going on deployment to East Timor.

Holy crap that worked well. It's almost enough to make me want to shave my head.

I'm going to hell.