tpir90036
05-25-2005, 11:52 AM
Disclaimer #1: This might not belong in this forum... but I wanted to put it in here because even though there is no strategic value, I think you guys will appreciate the hands.
Disclaimer #2: I swear to you that these hands happened. The action might not be 100% exact. But they happened....much to the dismay of the poker gods.
Episode 1: When No-Limit Goes Bad
I finally got out of work at a reasonable hour and decided to swing by the local illegal card shack on the way home for some 5-5 NL madness. This game has always been insanely good with people going off for 5 or more buy-ins on some nights. Tonight, I would find the worst opponents I have ever seen, yet the game was just plain old bad. Thankfully, there were plenty of funny hands that went down so I will pass them on to you.
I take my usual 7-ish seat and look around and only recognize one player out of the 7 other people seated. He's sitting on my right and is solid, though I am not concerned as we rarely knock heads. Surveying the rest of the table I see 3 different people wearing official poker apparel and 2 sets of wrap-around shades. Nice. Before the cards even get in the air I have a good chuckle as the clowns on the other side of the table are already talking about their Party accounts being cursed because they cashed out and how they don't know anyone who has ever won on that site. Uh, OK.
The guys who run the game bring the chips over and they go around the table for buy-ins. "Two hundred", "Two hundred", "Two fifty", "Two please"...and on around to me as I buy-in for the maximum $500 to a few strange looks. That was kind of weird. Maybe these guys have never played on the nights when people get stuck 3K and they up the buy-in to a grand. *Shrug*
So finally the cards get in the air and it is clear that these people:
1) Do not have much live play experience.
2) Are playing in a NL game way above their bankroll.
3) Have their chips on lockdown in a way I have never seen before.
It was kind of like an on-line game with lots of limping and very little aggressive play unless two people flopped monsters... and even then people were slowing down way too soon and were absurdly paranoid about hands that were not even remotely possible. At first I thought it was just elaborate trapping plays being taken too far. But it was way worse than that. Don't get me wrong, people were paying off with dumb stuff, but you really had to underbet to keep them in. Here are a few gems....I will refer to the bad players by seat number since some of them are recurring characters. I don't remember the stack sizes for most of these, but it doesn't matter since the play is so weak/bizarre. Assume around $200-ish for most hands.
Gem #1
Folded to Bad Player #2 who opens for $15. BP #4 calls on the button. The blinds fold. Flop is garbage. Check, check. Turn is a Q. Bet $15, call. River is a blank. Bet $15, call. BP2 turns over AQ. BP4 has KK!!!! Hmmm. Well that was interesting. BP4 makes some comment about being worried about Aces this early in the game....whatever that means.
Only one orbit later.
Gem #2
Bad Player #3 opens for $10 (the first min-raise of the night!) Bad Player #4 calls on the button. Flop is Qxx. Check, check. Turn is a Q. Check, check. River is a blank. Bet $20, call. Bad Player #4 has KK again!?! But this time he looks like a genius as Bad Player #3 has quad queens!!!!!
Gem #3
Solid player opens UTG for $20. Bad Player #3 calls in MP. I call in the SB but am not a factor in this hand. Flop is K99. I Check, UTG bets $25, BP3 calls, I fold. Turn is a J. Check, check. River is a blank. Check, check. Solid player says he knows his queens are no good. BP3 tables KJo and mutters something about being afraid of the 9. Whoa.
Aside: As people slowly bleed away their chips it is interesting to note that they all have enough money to buy-in for the max. Instead, they are holding on to their short stacks and waiting to go all-in pre-flop and then re-buy for $100 if they lose. The minimum buy-in is supposed to be $200 but I guess that has been waived. It turns out most of them have not been playing here for very long so I guess the floor is being nice to the new guys for the first week or so. The odd thing is that even though all of these weird super-passive hands are going on....the other players thinks this is all normal and this is how you play since you might run into the nuts at any point.
Gem #4
Bad Player #8 limps UTG. Bad Players 1, 2 and 3 all follow suit. Flops is Q5Q. Check, BP1 bets $10, folded to BP8 who calls. Turn is a Ten. Check, BP1 suddenly bets $120, enough to put #8 all-in. 8 says something about the 5 and calls as he flashes me 77?. The river is a 7 and BP8 almost separates his skin from his skeleton jumping up out of his chair. I guess he didn't see that BP1 had already tabled his QT. Someone declares that it was a bad beat and a small argument breaks out as to what is/is not considered a bad beat.
At this point we can start to upgrade some of the players from "bad".
Gem #5
Horrible players 1,2,3 & 4 all limp. Bad player #5 (has not been involved in any of these sweeties but has slowly bled off his chips) goes all-in for his remaining $40. All the limpers call(!). Flop is QJTr. Checked around. Turn blanks, checked around. River blanks, checked around. All-in had 66. #1 shows K8s. #2 shows ATo. #4 shows 99. #3 takes it down with QJ!! Free cards anyone??
Gem #6
Awful 1 opens for $15 in EP and Abysmal Player #3 calls in MP. Flop is 432r. Check, check, Turn pairs the 2. Check, check. River is an A. Baddie #1 bets $15, Retarded #3 just calls. 1 shows AK. #3 shows 65!!!!! Are you kidding me?? I walk away from the table as not to laugh directly in anyone's face and I already know that they are talking bout the full house being possible.
The funniest hand of the night didn't even go past the flop when captain flat-call with KK finally re-raised the solid player (it was a min-re-raise of course) pre-flop. There were a bunch of theatrics involved and the good player check-folded a medium pocket pair on a ragged flop. I sarcastically deadpanned a "Gee, I wonder what he (bad player) had" which was met with a "you gotta pay to see." OK dude, whatever.
I managed to hit some nice pots along the way when people were drawing and missed. The only way someone was calling anything close to a pot-sized bet on the turn is if they had a big draw or had you totally smashed and were afraid of something absurd.
In conclusion, there would have been more money on the table, more action and bigger pots if we were playing 3/6 limit. This was truly a game of No-Limit gone totally wrong. Good times. If people find this amusing I will go play again and bring home some Episode 2 gems. There is allegedly a "pro" who plays there now that I just know we can get some good laughs from.
-tpir
Disclaimer #2: I swear to you that these hands happened. The action might not be 100% exact. But they happened....much to the dismay of the poker gods.
Episode 1: When No-Limit Goes Bad
I finally got out of work at a reasonable hour and decided to swing by the local illegal card shack on the way home for some 5-5 NL madness. This game has always been insanely good with people going off for 5 or more buy-ins on some nights. Tonight, I would find the worst opponents I have ever seen, yet the game was just plain old bad. Thankfully, there were plenty of funny hands that went down so I will pass them on to you.
I take my usual 7-ish seat and look around and only recognize one player out of the 7 other people seated. He's sitting on my right and is solid, though I am not concerned as we rarely knock heads. Surveying the rest of the table I see 3 different people wearing official poker apparel and 2 sets of wrap-around shades. Nice. Before the cards even get in the air I have a good chuckle as the clowns on the other side of the table are already talking about their Party accounts being cursed because they cashed out and how they don't know anyone who has ever won on that site. Uh, OK.
The guys who run the game bring the chips over and they go around the table for buy-ins. "Two hundred", "Two hundred", "Two fifty", "Two please"...and on around to me as I buy-in for the maximum $500 to a few strange looks. That was kind of weird. Maybe these guys have never played on the nights when people get stuck 3K and they up the buy-in to a grand. *Shrug*
So finally the cards get in the air and it is clear that these people:
1) Do not have much live play experience.
2) Are playing in a NL game way above their bankroll.
3) Have their chips on lockdown in a way I have never seen before.
It was kind of like an on-line game with lots of limping and very little aggressive play unless two people flopped monsters... and even then people were slowing down way too soon and were absurdly paranoid about hands that were not even remotely possible. At first I thought it was just elaborate trapping plays being taken too far. But it was way worse than that. Don't get me wrong, people were paying off with dumb stuff, but you really had to underbet to keep them in. Here are a few gems....I will refer to the bad players by seat number since some of them are recurring characters. I don't remember the stack sizes for most of these, but it doesn't matter since the play is so weak/bizarre. Assume around $200-ish for most hands.
Gem #1
Folded to Bad Player #2 who opens for $15. BP #4 calls on the button. The blinds fold. Flop is garbage. Check, check. Turn is a Q. Bet $15, call. River is a blank. Bet $15, call. BP2 turns over AQ. BP4 has KK!!!! Hmmm. Well that was interesting. BP4 makes some comment about being worried about Aces this early in the game....whatever that means.
Only one orbit later.
Gem #2
Bad Player #3 opens for $10 (the first min-raise of the night!) Bad Player #4 calls on the button. Flop is Qxx. Check, check. Turn is a Q. Check, check. River is a blank. Bet $20, call. Bad Player #4 has KK again!?! But this time he looks like a genius as Bad Player #3 has quad queens!!!!!
Gem #3
Solid player opens UTG for $20. Bad Player #3 calls in MP. I call in the SB but am not a factor in this hand. Flop is K99. I Check, UTG bets $25, BP3 calls, I fold. Turn is a J. Check, check. River is a blank. Check, check. Solid player says he knows his queens are no good. BP3 tables KJo and mutters something about being afraid of the 9. Whoa.
Aside: As people slowly bleed away their chips it is interesting to note that they all have enough money to buy-in for the max. Instead, they are holding on to their short stacks and waiting to go all-in pre-flop and then re-buy for $100 if they lose. The minimum buy-in is supposed to be $200 but I guess that has been waived. It turns out most of them have not been playing here for very long so I guess the floor is being nice to the new guys for the first week or so. The odd thing is that even though all of these weird super-passive hands are going on....the other players thinks this is all normal and this is how you play since you might run into the nuts at any point.
Gem #4
Bad Player #8 limps UTG. Bad Players 1, 2 and 3 all follow suit. Flops is Q5Q. Check, BP1 bets $10, folded to BP8 who calls. Turn is a Ten. Check, BP1 suddenly bets $120, enough to put #8 all-in. 8 says something about the 5 and calls as he flashes me 77?. The river is a 7 and BP8 almost separates his skin from his skeleton jumping up out of his chair. I guess he didn't see that BP1 had already tabled his QT. Someone declares that it was a bad beat and a small argument breaks out as to what is/is not considered a bad beat.
At this point we can start to upgrade some of the players from "bad".
Gem #5
Horrible players 1,2,3 & 4 all limp. Bad player #5 (has not been involved in any of these sweeties but has slowly bled off his chips) goes all-in for his remaining $40. All the limpers call(!). Flop is QJTr. Checked around. Turn blanks, checked around. River blanks, checked around. All-in had 66. #1 shows K8s. #2 shows ATo. #4 shows 99. #3 takes it down with QJ!! Free cards anyone??
Gem #6
Awful 1 opens for $15 in EP and Abysmal Player #3 calls in MP. Flop is 432r. Check, check, Turn pairs the 2. Check, check. River is an A. Baddie #1 bets $15, Retarded #3 just calls. 1 shows AK. #3 shows 65!!!!! Are you kidding me?? I walk away from the table as not to laugh directly in anyone's face and I already know that they are talking bout the full house being possible.
The funniest hand of the night didn't even go past the flop when captain flat-call with KK finally re-raised the solid player (it was a min-re-raise of course) pre-flop. There were a bunch of theatrics involved and the good player check-folded a medium pocket pair on a ragged flop. I sarcastically deadpanned a "Gee, I wonder what he (bad player) had" which was met with a "you gotta pay to see." OK dude, whatever.
I managed to hit some nice pots along the way when people were drawing and missed. The only way someone was calling anything close to a pot-sized bet on the turn is if they had a big draw or had you totally smashed and were afraid of something absurd.
In conclusion, there would have been more money on the table, more action and bigger pots if we were playing 3/6 limit. This was truly a game of No-Limit gone totally wrong. Good times. If people find this amusing I will go play again and bring home some Episode 2 gems. There is allegedly a "pro" who plays there now that I just know we can get some good laughs from.
-tpir