PattyMcFatty
05-24-2005, 01:15 PM
There is a lot of similar posts on this topic- especially the one by raptor. However there is some differences in my situation, as I believe it is, in many ways, more severe.
Let me start off by saying that I am a relatively new poker player. (only 18 years old- spent a year playing online)However, I have played simply an ABSURD amt. of poker since last summer. I have huge control issues and a history of blowing large sums of winnings. It is a cycle. I always eventually enter a limit way too high for my bankroll. I am a decent limit HU/SH player, but I build my roll mainly through SnG's and multis. Since the beggining of my career, I have consistently built a roll from nothing, literally like 30-40 dollars, up to various thousands of dollars. Normally I get to around 1.4-2k, through 100+8 SnG's and lower stakes limit. Then something sets me off. I make one mistake, and it causes me to go play a limit where my roll is double the minimum buy-in. It's like I dont think at all. Once, I took 200 into 22.5 G's over the span of my winter break. Then, after the cashout did not process ([censored] you pokerroom), I eventually took a down swing, and as is common with me, I could not handle it. The combination of roullete and 50-100 destroyed my entire roll. Everything.
It is worth mentioning that since that episode, ive never played a casino game again. And I never will again. Also, being a fairly good judge of myself, I can honestly say I have gotten a lot better about just flipping out, and I am learning. Bad beats affect me only very temporarily now, and were never really the problem. It was all internal- if I [censored] up, why would I waste such a good opportunity to win? But, the same situation has arisen with the same result countless times since I lost 22 grand. I think giving an example of the frequency and manner in which it happens is important..
3 weeks ago, I had no bankroll, and got 10 dollars into a website. I won a 5 dollar multi for 750 dollars. I ran that up to 1G with 2-4. Then, I took a bad run in 2-4, didnt know when to leave, played shitty, and left with like 400 to go spew the rest in 10-20. Then, I used a friends account to get 50 bucks and transfer it to mine. I ran this up to 600 or so, and im not a 100% sure how I busted it- as in, what limit. Regardless, I busted, and used an account again, got 50, then through all 1-2 and SnG's I reached 1.2k. Out of nowhere, I was gonna sleep after second in a 50 dollar single, I decided to sit down 10-20 HU with a 1.2k roll. MY reasoning was that id leave if I lost a hand. Right. I went up 200, then all of a sudden was down to 950. I could not play correctly, was too afraid of busting. Yet I couldnt stop. Cause I had to get even. I busted. Then just yesterday I busted another 750 dollar roll through 2-4 and tourny tilt. I didnt know when to stop playing 2-4 even though it was a nightmare session, I was playing terrible. This all happened within like 2 or two and a half weeks.
I don't know what to do. Ive told myself a million times, jsut dont play ring games. Then I say to myself, why not? I can beat that game too. I can learn- and doing just tournys gets too boring. I cant seem to cash out sometimes either. I set a goal of 1k to cash, get there and dont do it cause I dont wanna drop down limits. I want to make a living playing poker. But I certainly cant do it like this. I feel like im getting closer to a breakthrough, but could defenitely use any advice you guys got.
This is already long so i wont add more, tho I could be missing some importasnt background info. Any advice/comments would be appreciated. Will gladly answer any questions.
Let me start off by saying that I am a relatively new poker player. (only 18 years old- spent a year playing online)However, I have played simply an ABSURD amt. of poker since last summer. I have huge control issues and a history of blowing large sums of winnings. It is a cycle. I always eventually enter a limit way too high for my bankroll. I am a decent limit HU/SH player, but I build my roll mainly through SnG's and multis. Since the beggining of my career, I have consistently built a roll from nothing, literally like 30-40 dollars, up to various thousands of dollars. Normally I get to around 1.4-2k, through 100+8 SnG's and lower stakes limit. Then something sets me off. I make one mistake, and it causes me to go play a limit where my roll is double the minimum buy-in. It's like I dont think at all. Once, I took 200 into 22.5 G's over the span of my winter break. Then, after the cashout did not process ([censored] you pokerroom), I eventually took a down swing, and as is common with me, I could not handle it. The combination of roullete and 50-100 destroyed my entire roll. Everything.
It is worth mentioning that since that episode, ive never played a casino game again. And I never will again. Also, being a fairly good judge of myself, I can honestly say I have gotten a lot better about just flipping out, and I am learning. Bad beats affect me only very temporarily now, and were never really the problem. It was all internal- if I [censored] up, why would I waste such a good opportunity to win? But, the same situation has arisen with the same result countless times since I lost 22 grand. I think giving an example of the frequency and manner in which it happens is important..
3 weeks ago, I had no bankroll, and got 10 dollars into a website. I won a 5 dollar multi for 750 dollars. I ran that up to 1G with 2-4. Then, I took a bad run in 2-4, didnt know when to leave, played shitty, and left with like 400 to go spew the rest in 10-20. Then, I used a friends account to get 50 bucks and transfer it to mine. I ran this up to 600 or so, and im not a 100% sure how I busted it- as in, what limit. Regardless, I busted, and used an account again, got 50, then through all 1-2 and SnG's I reached 1.2k. Out of nowhere, I was gonna sleep after second in a 50 dollar single, I decided to sit down 10-20 HU with a 1.2k roll. MY reasoning was that id leave if I lost a hand. Right. I went up 200, then all of a sudden was down to 950. I could not play correctly, was too afraid of busting. Yet I couldnt stop. Cause I had to get even. I busted. Then just yesterday I busted another 750 dollar roll through 2-4 and tourny tilt. I didnt know when to stop playing 2-4 even though it was a nightmare session, I was playing terrible. This all happened within like 2 or two and a half weeks.
I don't know what to do. Ive told myself a million times, jsut dont play ring games. Then I say to myself, why not? I can beat that game too. I can learn- and doing just tournys gets too boring. I cant seem to cash out sometimes either. I set a goal of 1k to cash, get there and dont do it cause I dont wanna drop down limits. I want to make a living playing poker. But I certainly cant do it like this. I feel like im getting closer to a breakthrough, but could defenitely use any advice you guys got.
This is already long so i wont add more, tho I could be missing some importasnt background info. Any advice/comments would be appreciated. Will gladly answer any questions.