SuburbanPokerMan
12-09-2002, 02:07 PM
The Hold'em Wars now in the second millennium shows no signs of ending anytime in the foreseeable future. Peace negotiations have gone badly and the Omaha crowd, though growing, has been unable to attract battle harden Hold'em warriors form their cause. War is hell and the stress on the chip Generals can be enormous. Take for example the war crime committed against General Ballistic on the Battleship Harrah's near the shores of Lake Michigan in East Chicago, IN. It was his second hand of the day and the Supply Office, Captain Dealer sent him Top Sargent Big Slick. He came highly recommend from headquarters which was obvious to all when General Ballistic raised the stakes. The famous General Herbmister from Grand Rapids, MI, a strategic bad beat expert, hiding behind the big blind fired his machine gun and raised General Ballistic. Bang, bang, bang and Top Sargent Big Slick was dead. Killed by a water pistol that turned out to be deadlier than anyone could have imagined. General Ballistic grabbed his remaining chip army which had been reduced to just a hand full of Chipsters. Then slammed their little heads onto the battlefield! Then he stood up and made a fast retreat after only two hands. General Hebmister was arrested after Captain Dealer pushed him the spoils of war. There was a rumor that the Herbmister paid off Captain Dealer, because all charges were dropped.
The stress of battle clouds deeper issues like sound battle plans. Example a farmer won a huge pot with the Montana Banana (9-2). It's a known fact that if you can win with the Montana Banana, you're one of those green thumb farmers who can probably grow bananas in Montana. The next hand Captain Dealer sends the SPM the same Montana Banana. The word Suburban indicates that all produce is purchased at the grocery store. The SPM does not have a green thumb. After the battle was over it turns out the Montana Banana would have been the mortal nuts. So as we all do on occasion, the SPM tells his neighbor he had the winning hand (9-2). The neighbor retorts "was it suited?" It was but the SPM lied told him it wasn't, some Chip Generals are so stressed that suited gives them a license to steam.
A Milwaukee Grunt called a SPM's raise cold with a medium suited connector. A total of three war mongers took the flop and at the river the Milwaukee Grunt won with a pair. Frustrated but not angry the SPM politely comments to the Grunt, "you called the raise cold with a suited connector?" "Absolutely!" he responds, "I was getting pot odds with the raise." Now how can you argue with that kind of logic. The Grunt at least had his reasoning cap firmly adjusted. The SPM wondered if he might be one of those Milwaukee inner city farmers.
It was a weekend from hell and the SPM has the Monday morning bad beat blues. Well got to run you all know how crazy z gets when I get long lined. I hear one of the local community colleges is offering a course on farming. Registration ends today, I better give them a call, it couldn't hurt.
SPM,...play long and prosper... /forums/images/icons/grin.gif
The stress of battle clouds deeper issues like sound battle plans. Example a farmer won a huge pot with the Montana Banana (9-2). It's a known fact that if you can win with the Montana Banana, you're one of those green thumb farmers who can probably grow bananas in Montana. The next hand Captain Dealer sends the SPM the same Montana Banana. The word Suburban indicates that all produce is purchased at the grocery store. The SPM does not have a green thumb. After the battle was over it turns out the Montana Banana would have been the mortal nuts. So as we all do on occasion, the SPM tells his neighbor he had the winning hand (9-2). The neighbor retorts "was it suited?" It was but the SPM lied told him it wasn't, some Chip Generals are so stressed that suited gives them a license to steam.
A Milwaukee Grunt called a SPM's raise cold with a medium suited connector. A total of three war mongers took the flop and at the river the Milwaukee Grunt won with a pair. Frustrated but not angry the SPM politely comments to the Grunt, "you called the raise cold with a suited connector?" "Absolutely!" he responds, "I was getting pot odds with the raise." Now how can you argue with that kind of logic. The Grunt at least had his reasoning cap firmly adjusted. The SPM wondered if he might be one of those Milwaukee inner city farmers.
It was a weekend from hell and the SPM has the Monday morning bad beat blues. Well got to run you all know how crazy z gets when I get long lined. I hear one of the local community colleges is offering a course on farming. Registration ends today, I better give them a call, it couldn't hurt.
SPM,...play long and prosper... /forums/images/icons/grin.gif