No second date.

[DBowling]

i have decided i do not want to go out again with this girl after i already agreed to a second date. is it possible to get out of the second date ?(no plans made yet)
how?

[gorie]

tell her you have to wash your hair ?

[DBowling]

[ QUOTE ]
tell her you have to wash your hair ?

[/ QUOTE ]

ahahahah. ok gorie, you are a decent poster, i will admit it.

[billyjex]

just tell her you're gay.

[Phoenix1010]

[ QUOTE ]
just tell her you're gay.

[/ QUOTE ]

And then tell her it's her fault.

[DBowling]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
just tell her you're gay.

[/ QUOTE ]

And then tell her it's her fault.

[/ QUOTE ]

lol this sounds like a really good plan. she was pretty sweet though, i do not want to make her sad.

[Cry Me A River]

Well, there's this thing I've heard about called honesty...

Or, you could tell her you're getting back together with your ex...

[billyjex]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
just tell her you're gay.

[/ QUOTE ]

And then tell her it's her fault.

[/ QUOTE ]

lol this sounds like a really good plan. she was pretty sweet though, i do not want to make her sad.

[/ QUOTE ]

i dunno, i know these situations are tough as well but if you really have respect for her i think the best thing to do is to tell her the truth that you're just not into her, or at least tell her you're not ready to get involved w/ anyone.

i mean to do this but usually i just ignore their phone calls and they hate me.

[DBowling]

[ QUOTE ]
if you really have respect for her

[/ QUOTE ]

i do not really respect or care about her, but i do not want to be a dick about it just because i dont like acting like a dick. i would rather lie to save her feelings because i think she would take it hard.

[ QUOTE ]
just ignore their phone calls and they hate me.

[/ QUOTE ]

this sounds like the plan so far.

[faith]

mabye give her some bs line about wanting to see her but not being ready due to some traumatic thing in your recent past... play it right, she won't bother u but might come running any time you call for a bit of late night company.

not my game, but works for some

[PoBoy321]

Tell her that you'll meet up, but only if you can go to a really nice restaurant that serves human flesh.

[gorie]

[ QUOTE ]
Tell her that you'll meet up, but only if you can go to a really nice restaurant that serves human flesh.

[/ QUOTE ]
then ask her opinion on child pornography.

if she wonders why, just tell her you were thinking about veal.

[masse75]

For Pete's sake...is everyone slow here?

Just say, "I thought we could have a nice dinner, then have ass-sex. Can I stick it in your pooper?"

If that doesn't get you out of the date, at least you have butt-sex as a consolation.

[siccjay]

Put it in her pooper.

[masse75]

First, I win...

Second, he's trying to AVOID the date. If he goes back door, that means he's on the date. He has to threaten Pooper Invasion, with the intent of not using it.

[Los Feliz Slim]

Ask her if she's familiar with "menage a trois".

[augie00]

I have a good idea. Since you haven't made plans yet, do something like go out to a movie. You won't have to talk to her that much, and it could be something that you really enjoy (without the social pressure of a "date")

[AEKDBet]

What Augie said. Movie and a blow job. No talkie.

[daryn]

this is very stupid...

if you don't care about her, and don't want to see her again? what's the problem? just tell her straight out, and that's that.

[augie00]

[ QUOTE ]
this is very stupid...

if you don't care about her, and don't want to see her again? what's the problem? just tell her straight out, and that's that.

[/ QUOTE ]

He's afraid that he will hurt her feelings. Some guys don't like to hurt the feelings of a girl. It might be bad for his karma, anyway.

[slickpoppa]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
this is very stupid...

if you don't care about her, and don't want to see her again? what's the problem? just tell her straight out, and that's that.

[/ QUOTE ]

He's afraid that he will hurt her feelings. Some guys don't like to hurt the feelings of a girl. It might be bad for his karma, anyway.

[/ QUOTE ]

Daryn is right. He will hurt her more by stringing her along. If he just keeeps coming up with excuses she will be left wondering whether or not the excuses were real or if he just doesn't like her. If he just shoots her down up front, she can move on more quickly.

[DBowling]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
this is very stupid...

if you don't care about her, and don't want to see her again? what's the problem? just tell her straight out, and that's that.

[/ QUOTE ]

He's afraid that he will hurt her feelings. Some guys don't like to hurt the feelings of a girl. It might be bad for his karma, anyway.

[/ QUOTE ]

Daryn is right. He will hurt her more by stringing her along. If he just keeeps coming up with excuses she will be left wondering whether or not the excuses were real or if he just doesn't like her. If he just shoots her down up front, she can move on more quickly.

[/ QUOTE ]

The only reason i want to be nice about it is because i already agreed to a second date. I think me agreeing to it and just breaking it off the next day is kinda dick.
But you are right, i want to make it clear I do not want to see her again.

I am thinking something like...
"Dear xxxxxxx

I do not think we should go out again.

Sincerly,
DBowling"

is this ok? or do i need to give a specific reason?

[tbach24]

Give her a ring as opposed to an e-mail.

[Duke]

[ QUOTE ]
Give her a ring as opposed to an e-mail.

[/ QUOTE ]

He doesn't even want to go out with her, let alone propose.

~D

[DBowling]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Give her a ring as opposed to an e-mail.

[/ QUOTE ]

He doesn't even want to go out with her, let alone propose.

~D

[/ QUOTE ]

lmao

Am i really obligated to give her a call after as little as one date?

[tbach24]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Give her a ring as opposed to an e-mail.

[/ QUOTE ]

He doesn't even want to go out with her, let alone propose.

~D

[/ QUOTE ]

lmao

Am i really obligated to give her a call after as little as one date?

[/ QUOTE ]

I wouldn't say obligated, it would just be the nice thing to do.

[gorie]

[ QUOTE ]
"Dear xxxxxxx

I do not think we should go out again.

Sincerly,
DBowling"


[/ QUOTE ]
if someone sent me a letter like that i'd be in love. that's really sexy.

you might want to give her some kind of reason (without being mean) or she'll start her life long quest to get you in her pooper. i am serious.

[DBowling]

[ QUOTE ]
i am serious.

[/ QUOTE ]

Are you really? I do not understand why. Also, my reasons are not "good" and would probably make her feel worse. Can i make something up? Can you guys make something up for me?

[tbach24]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
i am serious.

[/ QUOTE ]

Are you really? I do not understand why. Also, my reasons are not "good" and would probably make her feel worse. Can i make something up? Can you guys make something up for me?

[/ QUOTE ]

Why don't you want to go?

[DBowling]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
i am serious.

[/ QUOTE ]

Are you really? I do not understand why. Also, my reasons are not "good" and would probably make her feel worse. Can i make something up? Can you guys make something up for me?

[/ QUOTE ]

Why don't you want to go?

[/ QUOTE ]

Im not attracted to her and she seems too clingy too soon.

[tbach24]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
i am serious.

[/ QUOTE ]

Are you really? I do not understand why. Also, my reasons are not "good" and would probably make her feel worse. Can i make something up? Can you guys make something up for me?

[/ QUOTE ]

Why don't you want to go?

[/ QUOTE ]

Im not attracted to her and she seems too clingy too soon.

[/ QUOTE ]

If she's that type of girl I assume that she wouldn't pick up on the "my friend came in from out town" hint, so you can't really use that. I would just call her up, apologize sincerely, and say that you really didn't feel the attraction. Selective honesty works for me in all situations in life.

Edit- just so you realize, I'm a 17 year old with not too much experience with women, I just am pretty smart when dealing with people in real life.

[DBowling]

[ QUOTE ]

if someone sent me a letter like that i'd be in love. that's really sexy.


[/ QUOTE ]

Dear gorie,

I was wondering if anyone sent you a letter like this yet. I do not think we should go out again.

Sincerly,
DBowling

[DBowling]

[ QUOTE ]
I would just call her up, apologize sincerely, and say that you really didn't feel the attraction. Selective honesty works for me in all situations in life.

Edit- just so you realize, I'm a 17 year old with not too much experience with women, I just am pretty smart when dealing with people in real life.

[/ QUOTE ]

Im very non-confrontational. It took me 3+ months to break up with my last gf.

[gorie]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
i am serious.

[/ QUOTE ]

Are you really? I do not understand why.

[/ QUOTE ]
i guess my reason for saying that is that i'm attracted to things i can't have, and i like abuse.

this one guy i know is really sexy when he decides he is too cool to talk to me. which is 90% of the time. then 9% of the time he is talking to me, but being mean.. yet i keep wanting to hump him?

am i serious about her really finding that attractive ? not really. but depending on the girl, there is a possibility of it leaving her wondering why, to the point of bugging you trying to 'fix something'. which then of course leads to you getting annoyed and having to say "LISTEN, YOU'RE UGLY, AND YOU ARE CLINGY, STOP BUGGING ME" and then she cries.

i'd say best thing to do is call/email (did you actually make plans for your second date?) and say something like "hey, i've been thinking and i'm gonna have to cancel our date, it was nice meeting you but i'm not ready for a relationship." ?

or just ignore her calls like most guys would. i'm sure she'd figure it out.. regardless of what you do, i'm sure she'll get over it.

[DBowling]

[ QUOTE ]

i'd say best thing to do is call/email (did you actually make plans for your second date?) and say something like "hey, i've been thinking and i'm gonna have to cancel our date, it was nice meeting you but i'm not ready for a relationship." ?

[/ QUOTE ]

we never made plans for the second date. i think this is a good idea. thank you gorie.

[thatpfunk]

If you've never made plans, just don't answer your phone when she calls, simple as that...

She'll get the point, they always do.

[antidan444]

I'm with Daryn on this one: Just call her up and tell her the truth. If she's the type who takes such things hard, she's going to take it hard no matter what you do. So you might as well be honest.

[DBowling]

This is from her myspace today:

[ QUOTE ]
aint nothing but stars for miles

Current mood: giddy


i had an amazing night last night. it was beyond me.


theres a melody in my head and i aint stopped hummin' since i saw your face


[/ QUOTE ]

i feel like such a jerk already

[tbach24]

[ QUOTE ]
This is from her myspace today:

[ QUOTE ]
aint nothing but stars for miles

Current mood: giddy


i had an amazing night last night. it was beyond me.


theres a melody in my head and i aint stopped hummin' since i saw your face


[/ QUOTE ]

i feel like such a jerk already

[/ QUOTE ]

Would it really be that bad to give a courtesy date and then break it off from there? Hell, you might even have a good time.

[DBowling]

[ QUOTE ]
Would it really be that bad to give a courtesy date and then break it off from there? Hell, you might even have a good time.

[/ QUOTE ]

i feel like this would be stringing her on. i will email her later tonight and be done with it.

[DBowling]

[ QUOTE ]
"hey, i've been thinking and i'm gonna have to cancel our date, it was nice meeting you but i'm not ready for a relationship."

[/ QUOTE ]

sent

[TobDog]

[ QUOTE ]

This is from her myspace today:

Quote:
aint nothing but stars for miles

Current mood: giddy


i had an amazing night last night. it was beyond me.


theres a melody in my head and i aint stopped hummin' since i saw your face




i feel like such a jerk already

[/ QUOTE ]

You should be happy, she probably had buttsex with some guy last night, your off the hook.
Of course, if thats about you, your in with the clingy one and you should run while you have to chance.

[captZEEbo1]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
"hey, i've been thinking and i'm gonna have to cancel our date, it was nice meeting you but i'm not ready for a relationship."

[/ QUOTE ]

sent

[/ QUOTE ]
not ready for a relationship is code for you are teh sux

[lu_hawk]

you went out with her once and people are worried about the best way to save her feelings? what is wrong with you people? first, i doubt her feelings would be hurt very badly after one date. second, she is just a girl, there are about 3 billion of them out there, who the hell cares if you hurt the feelings of one of them?

what you should do here is don't call her, if she calls you once don't answer, if she calls you again do answer but make an excuse to get off the phone after a couple minutes. keep doing this. she will get the hint eventually. and this is much better than doing anything stupid such as telling her you don't want a relationship because you burn the bridge if you do that.

[SippinSoma]

Man up and call the girl next time. Email is pathetic.

[DBowling]

[ QUOTE ]
second, she is just a girl, there are about 3 billion of them out there, who the hell cares if you hurt the feelings of one of them?

[/ QUOTE ]

i try to be decent with everybody i deal with. i could tell she was emotionally attached already. i am sure her feelings will be hurt. there is no point in being a dick to somebody if i dont have to be.

[DBowling]

[ QUOTE ]
Man up and call the girl next time. Email is pathetic.

[/ QUOTE ]

we never spoke on the phone leading up to the first date, i felt email was appropriate.

[Nick-Zack]

[ QUOTE ]
This is from her myspace today:

[ QUOTE ]
aint nothing but stars for miles

Current mood: giddy


i had an amazing night last night. it was beyond me.


theres a melody in my head and i aint stopped hummin' since i saw your face


[/ QUOTE ]

i feel like such a jerk already

[/ QUOTE ]

I think a restraining order might be called for her. This chick is psycho.

[Dex]

[ QUOTE ]
this one guy i know is really sexy when he decides he is too cool to talk to me. which is 90% of the time. then 9% of the time he is talking to me, but being mean.. yet i keep wanting to hump him?

[/ QUOTE ]

This is further proof of something that I've noticed for a while now: girls like guys who are jerks.

WHY IS THIS GORIE?

WHY?

I'm not a jerk. Perhaps I should start being one now - apparently, I'd get laid more often.

[DBowling]

[ QUOTE ]
proof of something that I've noticed for a while now: girls like guys who are jerks.


[/ QUOTE ]

i dont think girls neccessarily like guys who are jerks, although that is the common perception. I think girls just like guys who have lives of their own and arent clingy/needy. Most guys are the same when it comes to women.

[gorie]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
this one guy i know is really sexy when he decides he is too cool to talk to me. which is 90% of the time. then 9% of the time he is talking to me, but being mean.. yet i keep wanting to hump him?

[/ QUOTE ]

This is further proof of something that I've noticed for a while now: girls like guys who are jerks.

WHY IS THIS GORIE?

WHY?

I'm not a jerk. Perhaps I should start being one now - apparently, I'd get laid more often.

[/ QUOTE ]
actually i am a pathological liar, don't base any conclusions on what i say.

although the example is kinda true, but he is the only guy who can get away with treating me like a jerk. (well other than my bf, i don't know any better.)
it can be attractive because it's somewhat of a challenge since you're convinced (by them) that they are "above your level", but i think it only works if they start acting like that after you already like them. actually it doesn't really "work" because you hate them half of the time. what am i talking about ? regardless, i'd still never actually want to be with someone who treated me like that. well maybe i'd make out with him.

nice guys > jerks , for sure.

[TimM]

[ QUOTE ]
nice guys > jerks , for sure.

[/ QUOTE ]

This makes sense in theory, but things tend to differ in practice.

I was once told by a girl that I was too nice, too quiet, and too shy, and unless I somehow became a little more of an [censored], she probably wouldn't fall for someone like me. She still wanted to keep [censored] me for a while though. At least she was honest.

[gorie]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
nice guys > jerks , for sure.

[/ QUOTE ]

This makes sense in theory, but things tend to differ in practice.

I was once told by a girl that I was too nice, too quiet, and too shy, and unless I somehow became a little more of an [censored], she probably wouldn't fall for someone like me. She still wanted to keep [censored] me for a while though. At least she was honest.

[/ QUOTE ]
yeah, all girls have different tastes, too. some girls do like jerks, or just can't help it. but i'd say most girls want a guy that can treat them right and respect them.

plus shy and quiet is different than just being nice. for me, i couldn't be with a guy that is too shy and quiet because i am, so i have to depend on a guy who isn't afraid to take control a little bit... if he's shy also we're both screwed /images/graemlins/smile.gif that doesn't mean someone who isn't shy or quiet has to be a jerk though.

shy/quiet can be sexy though.

[kerssens]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
nice guys > jerks , for sure.

[/ QUOTE ]

This makes sense in theory, but things tend to differ in practice.

I was once told by a girl that I was too nice, too quiet, and too shy, and unless I somehow became a little more of an [censored], she probably wouldn't fall for someone like me. She still wanted to keep [censored] me for a while though. At least she was honest.

[/ QUOTE ]
yeah, all girls have different tastes, too. some girls do like jerks, or just can't help it. but i'd say most girls want a guy that can treat them right and respect them.

plus shy and quiet is different than just being nice. for me, i couldn't be with a guy that is too shy and quiet because i am, so i have to depend on a guy who isn't afraid to take control a little bit... if he's shy also we're both screwed /images/graemlins/smile.gif that doesn't mean someone who isn't shy or quiet has to be a jerk though.

shy/quiet guys are sexy though.

[/ QUOTE ]

I'm pretty quiet and lately people have told me that they're intimidated by me at first because of it, because they think there's a lot going on in my head or something.

[TimM]

[ QUOTE ]
I'm pretty quiet and lately people have told me that they're intimidated by me at first because of it, because they think there's a lot going on in my head or something.

[/ QUOTE ]

I just come off as a good listener, which sucks when someone boring latches on to me and I can't get away.

[bernie]

[ QUOTE ]
this is very stupid...

if you don't care about her, and don't want to see her again? what's the problem? just tell her straight out, and that's that.

[/ QUOTE ]

Dead on!

Call her and tell her. Isn't that how you'd like to be treated?

Quit being such a damn pussy.

b

[scotty34]

You already said you would do it, so just go out on the second date. Make it a very casual date, with no romantic intention. There can't really be much harm in that, and who knows, you might have fun or change your mind. If you don't, then just be straight with her, and don't make a 3rd date.