Even been caught whackin' by the S.O.? [Archive]

jakethebake

05-18-2005, 02:08 PM

[ QUOTE ]
If so, how did you handle it? What was your SO's reaction?

[/ QUOTE ]

Tell us the story behind the question first. But the anser is obvious... /images/graemlins/grin.gif

slickpoppa

05-18-2005, 02:09 PM

If your S.O. was in the same place as you, why the hell would you be whacking off?

wayabvpar

05-18-2005, 02:09 PM

[ QUOTE ]
If your S.O. was in the same place as you, why the hell would you be whacking off?

[/ QUOTE ]

My question exactly. Also- put it in her pooper. Thread over.

slickpoppa

05-18-2005, 02:09 PM

tbach24

05-18-2005, 02:11 PM

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
If your S.O. was in the same place as you, why the hell would you be whacking off?

[/ QUOTE ]

My question exactly. Also- put it in her pooper. Thread over.

[/ QUOTE ]

You just made Catch very angry (http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/showflat.php?Cat=&Number=2424469&Main=2420823#Post 2424469)

namknils

05-18-2005, 02:12 PM

[ QUOTE ]
If your S.O. was in the same place as you, why the hell would you be whacking off?

[/ QUOTE ]

Say you and the S.O. have sex, then she decides to go to sleep and you get up to play some late night poker. While perusing OOT between hands you notice a post about favorite porn sites, you check it out, you pull it out, you whack it, she comes out for a midnight snack. /images/graemlins/blush.gif

No I've never been caught.

BreakfastBurrito

05-18-2005, 02:14 PM

One night in bed with my ex-girlfriend, she decided she wasn't in the mood to have sex, so I said fine, good night, rolled over and proceeded with Plan #2. After about 30 seconds...

Her: "What are you doing?"

Me: "Masturbating"

Her: (~10sec silence) "ok I want to have sex now"

Me: "ok"

Honesty is the key to relationships people.

MoreWineII

05-18-2005, 02:15 PM

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
If so, how did you handle it? What was your SO's reaction?

[/ QUOTE ]

Tell us the story behind the question first. But the anser is obvious... /images/graemlins/grin.gif

[/ QUOTE ]

Mine catches me every now and then, but we're married and she just shoots me a dirty look and goes on about her business. She usually flips me some [censored] later.

But for some reason I was just remembering an episode involving a previous g/f where she came over for a semi-surprise visit, caught me playing with mini-me, and freaked the hell out. Started crying and saying I'd rather spank it than [censored] her, which wasn't really true. I just had a sudden and spontaneous urge to finger the criminal.

Sometimes I don't think women realize that sometimes we just wanna pop out a 'gasm w/o having to worry about all the other stuff that comes along with making the looooooove.

Dex

05-18-2005, 03:08 PM

[ QUOTE ]
One night in bed with my ex-girlfriend, she decided she wasn't in the mood to have sex, so I said fine, good night, rolled over and proceeded with Plan #2. After about 30 seconds...

Her: "What are you doing?"

Me: "Masturbating"

Her: (~10sec silence) "ok I want to have sex now"

Me: "ok"

Honesty is the key to relationships people.

[/ QUOTE ]

Well played.

Bluffoon

05-18-2005, 03:09 PM

[ QUOTE ]
If so, how did you handle it? What was your SO's reaction?

[/ QUOTE ]

This turns my GF on. But in the event that this was a first time surprise type of thing I would tell her I was getting tired and ask for some help.

wacki

05-18-2005, 03:49 PM

Wacki: "Wanna [censored]"

SO: "Not now <insert reason> maybe later"

Wacki: "I can't wait. I'm going nuts. There's no way I'll be able to sleep with you laying next to me right now."

SO: "Not now <repeats reason> maybe later."

Wacki: "Ugghh. Fine, where is the vaseline?"

Does that count?

MoreWineII

05-18-2005, 04:13 PM

Regular Vasoline is terrible for JO'ing. Try Intensive Care.

wacki

05-18-2005, 04:31 PM

JO'ing????

superleeds

05-18-2005, 04:38 PM

A friend of mine and his brother were helping their older brother move apartment a few years back. Because he was just renting and had no money they just hired a small van for the day. They loaded the van with some boxes of stuff and as much furniture as they could and set of on the first of what would be a few back and forths that day.

They got to the new place and unloaded the van. My friend had an idea, just dump it on the front lawn and he would take into the new apartment while the other 2 went back to pick up more stuff.

Off they go and an hour or so later back they come. To their surprise everything bar a box or two is still on the lawn. They park and ruxh inside to find my friend laying on the floor fast asleep with his pants around his ankles, porno mags (the contents of the only box he had bought in) all around him and his todger in his right hand.

Dantes

05-18-2005, 04:39 PM

jacking off..?

anyways if you haven't been caught you haven't been with a chick very much. (in cartman voice) Man sex drive heah, woman sex drive heah.

Yobz

05-18-2005, 04:42 PM

[ QUOTE ]
A friend of mine and his brother were helping their older brother move apartment a few years back. Because he was just renting and had no money they just hired a small van for the day. They loaded the van with some boxes of stuff and as much furniture as they could and set of on the first of what would be a few back and forths that day.

They got to the new place and unloaded the van. My friend had an idea, just dump it on the front lawn and he would take into the new apartment while the other 2 went back to pick up more stuff.

Off they go and an hour or so later back they come. To their surprise everything bar a box or two is still on the lawn. They park and ruxh inside to find my friend laying on the floor fast asleep with his pants around his ankles, porno mags (the contents of the only box he had bought in) all around him and his todger in his right hand.

[/ QUOTE ]

wow, great story

TimM

05-18-2005, 05:16 PM

I'd rather hear if any of you guys ever caught your S.O. rubbing one out.

jba

05-18-2005, 05:23 PM

[ QUOTE ]
If so, how did you handle it? What was your SO's reaction?

[/ QUOTE ]

mine often sends me pics from her camera phone to facilitate. Checks up with me later on to see how it turned out.

If she caught me in the act she would do one of the following, depending on her mood:
a: laugh
b: jump me
c: say "let's watch some porn"
d: all of the above

I would say d without further reads.

jackdaniels

05-18-2005, 08:10 PM

[ QUOTE ]
I'd rather hear if any of you guys ever caught your S.O. rubbing one out.

[/ QUOTE ]

wacki

05-18-2005, 08:14 PM

[ QUOTE ]
I'd rather hear if any of you guys ever caught your S.O. rubbing one out.

[/ QUOTE ]

If "she" could rub one out, I'd shoot her/it.

mason55

05-18-2005, 08:15 PM

WTF... I tell my gf when I'm going to jerk off.

billyjex

05-18-2005, 08:28 PM

one time my dad caught me jerking off. does that count?

MoreWineII

05-18-2005, 08:31 PM

Uh...if he's your S.O. then sure.

Blackjack

05-18-2005, 08:31 PM

Gross man.

Always lock the door regardless

Blackjack

TimM

05-18-2005, 08:36 PM

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I'd rather hear if any of you guys ever caught your S.O. rubbing one out.

[/ QUOTE ]

If "she" could rub one out, I'd shoot her/it.

[/ QUOTE ]

Ok, how about "playing with the man in the boat" then.

peachy

05-18-2005, 08:38 PM

they shoulda been like...let me do that for u...or either started doin u...i dont see many other options here...or she could join in herself

ThaSaltCracka

05-18-2005, 08:40 PM

this is a great thread, some funny stories in here.

wacki

05-18-2005, 09:15 PM

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I'd rather hear if any of you guys ever caught your S.O. rubbing one out.

[/ QUOTE ]

If "she" could rub one out, I'd shoot her/it.

[/ QUOTE ]

Ok, how about "playing with the man in the boat" then.

[/ QUOTE ]

If I was anal enough, or insecure enough, to have a problem with my woman rocking her boat, I'd shoot myself. Either that or I'd make the "mistake" of telling my friends what my views were and they would administer a swift and justly deserved ass beating.

Patrick del Poker Grande

05-18-2005, 09:21 PM

[ QUOTE ]
JO'ing????

[/ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
jacking off..?

[/ QUOTE ]
Wouldn't that be JingO?

SackUp

05-18-2005, 09:24 PM

My g/f fvcking loves to watch. So it's on.

TimM

05-18-2005, 09:33 PM

[ QUOTE ]
If I was anal enough, or insecure enough, to have a problem with my woman rocking her boat, I'd shoot myself. Either that or I'd make the "mistake" of telling my friends what my views were and they would administer a swift and justly deserved ass beating.

[/ QUOTE ]

I never said or implied anyone should have a problem with this.

rusellmj

05-18-2005, 09:44 PM

[ QUOTE ]
Honesty is the key to relationships people.

[/ QUOTE ]

Put some of this (http://www.drugstore.com/products/prod.asp?pid=94165&catid=682&aid=335972&aparam=jac k_jelly_head_spread_l) on your nightstand and watch the honesty ensue.

private joker

05-18-2005, 09:47 PM

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
One night in bed with my ex-girlfriend, she decided she wasn't in the mood to have sex, so I said fine, good night, rolled over and proceeded with Plan #2. After about 30 seconds...

Her: "What are you doing?"

Me: "Masturbating"

Her: (~10sec silence) "ok I want to have sex now"

Me: "ok"

Honesty is the key to relationships people.

[/ QUOTE ]

Well played.

[/ QUOTE ]

Yes, this gives new meaning to the term "nice hand."

gorie

05-18-2005, 10:08 PM

this story might sound a little familiar...

One night in bed with my boyfriend, he decided he wasn't in the mood to have sex, so I said fine, good night, rolled over and proceeded with Plan #2. After about 30 seconds...

bzzzzzz

Him: "What are you doing?"

Me: "Masturbating"

Him: (~30sec silence) ... *snores*

Me: annoyed.

ricochet420

05-18-2005, 10:50 PM

I prefer the term "jilling off".[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I'd rather hear if any of you guys ever caught your S.O. rubbing one out.

[/ QUOTE ]

If "she" could rub one out, I'd shoot her/it.

[/ QUOTE ]

Ok, how about "playing with the man in the boat" then.

[/ QUOTE ]

ricochet420

05-18-2005, 10:51 PM

He's GAY![ QUOTE ]
this story might sound a little familiar...

One night in bed with my boyfriend, he decided he wasn't in the mood to have sex, so I said fine, good night, rolled over and proceeded with Plan #2. After about 30 seconds...

bzzzzzz

Him: "What are you doing?"

Me: "Masturbating"

Him: (~30sec silence) ... *snores*

Me: annoyed.

[/ QUOTE ]

Freakin

05-19-2005, 09:52 AM

It took me about 6 or 7 posts into this thread before I realized SO was sig. other, and not Senior Officer....

I was like WTF?!?!? Who the hell here would a) have a senior officer and b) jerk off aroudn them.....

And I'm not even in teh military....

Freakin

theredpill5

05-19-2005, 11:32 AM

[ QUOTE ]
It took me about 6 or 7 posts into this thread before I realized SO was sig. other, and not Senior Officer....

I was like WTF?!?!? Who the hell here would a) have a senior officer and b) jerk off aroudn them.....

And I'm not even in teh military....

Freakin

[/ QUOTE ]

Me too, man. LOL. Not only that but everyone just kept using S.O. in every freaking post. I kept trying to figure out what the hell S.O. was.

MoreWineII

05-19-2005, 11:37 AM

[ QUOTE ]
this story might sound a little familiar...

One night in bed with my boyfriend, he decided he wasn't in the mood to have sex, so I said fine, good night, rolled over and proceeded with Plan #2. After about 30 seconds...

bzzzzzz

Him: "What are you doing?"

Me: "Masturbating"

Him: (~30sec silence) ... *snores*

Me: annoyed.

[/ QUOTE ]

Hunny?

Gin 'n Tonic

05-19-2005, 11:58 AM

True story - A company that I used to work for had a shop in Norwich. On this particular day the S.O. (Security Officer) went to visit the shop to fire an employee for theft.

Moving to the back of the busy store unannounced, he was surprised to find an employee sat in a chair, lent back so that he could just peek around the shelves to see the customers, trousers round knees, rubbing one out.

Despite pleas of 'It's my lunch hour', said employee was summarily dismissed, so that made two for the day.

In that particular company, probably until this day, masturbating is known as 'Doing a Norwich'

beerbandit

05-19-2005, 12:09 PM

[ QUOTE ]
Regular Vasoline is terrible for JO'ing. Try Intensive Care.

[/ QUOTE ]

word....phantoms like a muthafucker

beerbandit

05-19-2005, 12:12 PM

[ QUOTE ]
I prefer the term "jilling off".

[/ QUOTE ]

or doubling clicking the mouse

2planka

05-19-2005, 12:44 PM

[ QUOTE ]

Put some of this on your nightstand and watch the honesty ensue.

[/ QUOTE ]

That is damn funny.... Esp the manufacturer's name... Gun Oil.... riot!

augie00

05-19-2005, 01:04 PM

TimM

05-19-2005, 03:05 PM

[ QUOTE ]
bzzzzzz

[/ QUOTE ]

In spite of the fact that I just read 40 pages of quotes from women describing how they masturbate, it took me like 10 minutes to figure out what "bzzzzzz" meant. /images/graemlins/blush.gif /images/graemlins/confused.gif /images/graemlins/frown.gif

peachy

05-19-2005, 04:47 PM

Richie Rich

05-19-2005, 06:29 PM

Yes. And she gets jealous.

Talk2BigSteve

05-19-2005, 06:33 PM

LOL /images/graemlins/confused.gif /images/graemlins/grin.gif /images/graemlins/blush.gif

S.O.= Significant Other

Having worked there before (and misreading the title of the post), I thought the title was Ever been caught whackin' by the Sheriff's Office?

Big Steve /images/graemlins/cool.gif

radek2166

05-21-2005, 02:17 PM

[ QUOTE ]
And she gets jealous.

[/ QUOTE ]

Im still trying to figure that 1 out. Why anyone would really care if your beating the bishop.

Im bored I wack it. Big deal.

Have I been caught. O let me count by how many!!!!

gorie

05-21-2005, 02:23 PM

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
And she gets jealous.

[/ QUOTE ]

Im still trying to figure that 1 out. Why anyone would really care if your beating the bishop.

Im bored I wack it. Big deal.

Have I been caught. O let me count by how many!!!!

[/ QUOTE ]
probably because they're rarely thinking about their girlfriends, which can cause some jealousy. and wondering who he is fantasizing about ? i dunno. i get a little jealous for like a minute but it's also not really a big deal, i expect him to !

kurosh

05-21-2005, 02:24 PM

Too much puzzle pirates.

radek2166

05-21-2005, 02:29 PM

[ QUOTE ]
probably because they're rarely thinking about their girlfriends, which can cause some jealousy. and wondering who he is fantasizing about ?

[/ QUOTE ]

Hell it could be a banansplit ,a beer. Everyone pulls one off. The G/F is more than welcome to help me in anyway she wants.

gorie

05-21-2005, 02:51 PM

[ QUOTE ]
Hell it could be a banansplit ,a beer. Everyone pulls one off. The G/F is more than welcome to help me in anyway she wants.

[/ QUOTE ]
what if i know he is thinking about another girl instead of ice cream this time , can i be jealous for a minute ?

radek2166

05-21-2005, 02:56 PM

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Hell it could be a banansplit ,a beer. Everyone pulls one off. The G/F is more than welcome to help me in anyway she wants.

[/ QUOTE ]
what if i know he is thinking about another girl instead of ice cream this time , can i be jealous for a minute ?

[/ QUOTE ]

I think a minute is ok. For me its busting a nut with out all the [censored] that goes with it.

Hell throw something sexy on and one might even spank it thinking of you!!!

gorie

05-21-2005, 02:58 PM

[ QUOTE ]

Hell throw something sexy on and one might even spank it thinking of you!!!

[/ QUOTE ]
i'm always naked.

Dead

05-21-2005, 02:58 PM

Yeah I've been caught. But then she helped out.

radek2166

05-21-2005, 02:59 PM

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]

Hell throw something sexy on and one might even spank it thinking of you!!!

[/ QUOTE ]
i'm always naked.

[/ QUOTE ]

Hmmmmmmmm.

Like I said I am sure more than one guy has spanked the monkey thinking of you. Its just the way life is.

Dead

05-21-2005, 03:00 PM

I wouldn't.

radek2166

05-21-2005, 03:02 PM

[ QUOTE ]
I wouldn't.

[/ QUOTE ]

Wouldn't what?

Dead

05-21-2005, 03:03 PM

I've seen gorie's picture.

I wouldn't spank the monkey thinking of her.

radek2166

05-21-2005, 03:07 PM

I think for mental stimulation

A) one thinks of someone they had at one time ( the freaky [censored])

B) one thinks of someone they will never have (fantasy)

C) Thinks of someone they might have (fantasy)

Fantasy is allways better than reality.

tbach24

05-21-2005, 03:09 PM

[ QUOTE ]
I've seen gorie's picture.

I wouldn't spank the monkey thinking of her.

[/ QUOTE ]

Dead, seriously STFU. That's not nice. You should've avoided this altogether if you were going to be this much of a douche.

Dead

05-21-2005, 03:09 PM

Ok ok.

you're right.

I'm sorry.

gorie

05-21-2005, 03:09 PM

[ QUOTE ]
I've seen gorie's picture.

I wouldn't spank the monkey thinking of her.

[/ QUOTE ]
thanks for volunteering that information ! just to make it clear, i wasn't requesting , or assuming anyone would want to do that.
i mean, my boyfriend doesn't want to think of me, some stranger on the internet doesn't want to think of me. what good am i anyway ?? thanks for killing my already broken self esteem !! ! you're mean.

radek2166

05-21-2005, 03:12 PM

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I've seen gorie's picture.

I wouldn't spank the monkey thinking of her.

[/ QUOTE ]

Dead, seriously STFU. That's not nice. You should've avoided this altogether if you were going to be this much of a douche.

[/ QUOTE ]

kerssens

05-21-2005, 03:13 PM

[ QUOTE ]
I've seen gorie's picture.

I wouldn't spank the monkey thinking of her.

[/ QUOTE ]

Booo!! Gorie is good people...in fact I may go rub one out for her right now... /images/graemlins/grin.gif

radek2166

05-21-2005, 03:15 PM

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I've seen gorie's picture.

I wouldn't spank the monkey thinking of her.

[/ QUOTE ]
thanks for volunteering that information ! just to make it clear, i wasn't requesting , or assuming anyone would want to do that.
i mean, my boyfriend doesn't want to think of me, some stranger on the internet doesn't want to think of me. what good am i anyway ?? thanks for killing my already broken self esteem !! ! you're mean.

[/ QUOTE ]

Consider the soure

gorie

05-21-2005, 03:16 PM

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I've seen gorie's picture.

I wouldn't spank the monkey thinking of her.

[/ QUOTE ]

Booo!! Gorie is good people...in fact I may go rub one out for her right now... /images/graemlins/grin.gif

[/ QUOTE ]
thanks i'll accept pity masturbation no problem ! /images/graemlins/tongue.gif

radek2166

05-21-2005, 03:17 PM

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I've seen gorie's picture.

I wouldn't spank the monkey thinking of her.

[/ QUOTE ]

Booo!! Gorie is good people...in fact I may go rub one out for her right now... /images/graemlins/grin.gif

[/ QUOTE ]

I need the little dudes that say

This post is worthless with out pics!!!! /images/graemlins/grin.gif

tbach24

05-21-2005, 03:18 PM

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I've seen gorie's picture.

I wouldn't spank the monkey thinking of her.

[/ QUOTE ]
thanks for volunteering that information ! just to make it clear, i wasn't requesting , or assuming anyone would want to do that.
i mean, my boyfriend doesn't want to think of me, some stranger on the internet doesn't want to think of me. what good am i anyway ?? thanks for killing my already broken self esteem !! ! you're mean.

[/ QUOTE ]

Consider the soure

[/ QUOTE ]

Actually this is true. Dead's sexuality has not been confirmed. He is likely gay meaning that his previous statements aren't mean, just that he really doesn't like women.

Duke

05-21-2005, 03:18 PM

[ QUOTE ]
LOL /images/graemlins/confused.gif /images/graemlins/grin.gif /images/graemlins/blush.gif

S.O.= Significant Other

Having worked there before (and misreading the title of the post), I thought the title was Ever been caught whackin' by the Sheriff's Office?

Big Steve /images/graemlins/cool.gif

[/ QUOTE ]

No way man, I'd be dead. They'd double-tap me center mass when they saw me repeatedly trying to pull out my gun.

~D

Dead

05-21-2005, 03:19 PM

How the [censored] do you confirm someone's sexuality over the internet?

radek2166

05-21-2005, 03:21 PM

[ QUOTE ]
How the [censored] do you confirm someone's sexuality over the internet?

[/ QUOTE ]

Ask Granny /images/graemlins/cool.gif

Duke

05-21-2005, 03:21 PM

[ QUOTE ]
How the [censored] do you confirm someone's sexuality over the internet?

[/ QUOTE ]

There's a USB dongle.

~D

gorie

05-21-2005, 03:35 PM

i don't care if someone i don't even know would want to do that thinking of me, and i would expect them not to. i am not the kind of girl that assumes people think i'm hot, i know what i look like. but i don't want to get into that.

i'm just not sure why he felt the need to go there and actually say it, since it's not like i was giving the impression i thought anyone would want to - instead it was just a rude response to someone trying to be nice. i could understand speaking up about something like that if i was here bragging about how guys jerk off to pictures of me all the time. but i don't recall doing that or even going in that direction. but whatever. it just hurts my feelings because i've been masturbating to his picture for weeks i thought we had something.

radek2166

05-21-2005, 03:37 PM

[ QUOTE ]
i don't care if someone i don't even know would want to do that thinking of me, and i would expect them not to. i am not the kind of girl that assumes people think i'm hot, i know what i look like. but i don't want to get into that.

i'm just not sure why he felt the need to go there and actually say it, since it's not like i was giving the impression i thought anyone would want to - instead it was just a rude response to someone trying to be nice. i could understand speaking up about something like that if i was here bragging about how guys jerk off to pictures of me all the time. but i don't recall doing that or even going in that direction. but whatever. it just hurts my feelings because i've been masturbating to his picture for weeks i thought we had something.

[/ QUOTE ]

lmfao

peachy

05-21-2005, 05:08 PM

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
And she gets jealous.

[/ QUOTE ]

Im still trying to figure that 1 out. Why anyone would really care if your beating the bishop.

Im bored I wack it. Big deal.

Have I been caught. O let me count by how many!!!!

[/ QUOTE ]
probably because they're rarely thinking about their girlfriends, which can cause some jealousy. and wondering who he is fantasizing about ? i dunno. i get a little jealous for like a minute but it's also not really a big deal, i expect him to !

[/ QUOTE ]

i dont care that they r thinkin of other people...its just natural to sometimes...girls do it too

peachy

05-21-2005, 05:10 PM

[ QUOTE ]
I've seen gorie's picture.

I wouldn't spank the monkey thinking of her.

[/ QUOTE ]

well ur a bit of an A hole there...im sure many girls dont get off to the thought of u...but it doesnt need to be said...and u prolly dont find her attractive cause u get off to men