My new favorite line from Seinfeld

[goofball]

JERRY: I'm going out with one of the Miss America contestants, you wanna go?

KRAMER: What state?

[jba]

[ QUOTE ]
JERRY: I'm going out with one of the Miss America contestants, you wanna go?

KRAMER: What state?

[/ QUOTE ]

perfect

[TStoneMBD]

there was already a thread like this recently if you didnt see it.

"these pretzels are making me thirsty" is currently my favorite though.

[balkii]

phone rings:
JERRY: Uh, sorry, Excuse me one second. Hello.

TEL: Hi, would you be interested in switching over to TMI long distance service.

JERRY: Oh, gee, I can't talk right now. Why don't you give me your home number and I'll call you later.

TEL: Uh, I'm sorry we're not allowed to do that.

JERRY: Oh, I guess you don't want people calling you at home.

TEL: No.

JERRY: Well now you know how I feel.

[Patrick del Poker Grande]

[ QUOTE ]
phone rings:
JERRY: Uh, sorry, Excuse me one second. Hello.

TEL: Hi, would you be interested in switching over to TMI long distance service.

JERRY: Oh, gee, I can't talk right now. Why don't you give me your home number and I'll call you later.

TEL: Uh, I'm sorry we're not allowed to do that.

JERRY: Oh, I guess you don't want people calling you at home.

TEL: No.

JERRY: Well now you know how I feel.

[/ QUOTE ]
This may be my least favorite exchange in the whole series. It's unoriginal and... it just sucks.

[Klepton]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
phone rings:
JERRY: Uh, sorry, Excuse me one second. Hello.

TEL: Hi, would you be interested in switching over to TMI long distance service.

JERRY: Oh, gee, I can't talk right now. Why don't you give me your home number and I'll call you later.

TEL: Uh, I'm sorry we're not allowed to do that.

JERRY: Oh, I guess you don't want people calling you at home.

TEL: No.

JERRY: Well now you know how I feel.

[/ QUOTE ]
This may be my least favorite exchange in the whole series. It's unoriginal and... it just sucks.

[/ QUOTE ]

yeah and it's one of those dumb jokes that gets the audience to clap afterwards like "oh he is so topical"

[balkii]

I had sex with your wife!

[granny50]

Rental car saleswoman: "Would you like to get insurance?"
Jerry: "Yeah, you better give me the insurance coz I'm going to beat the hell out of that car."

(or something to that effect)

[Jazza]

[ QUOTE ]
I had sex with your wife!

[/ QUOTE ]

i have to watch your avater for at least 5 loops everytime is see a post of yours

i think what really makes it is that the door closes after he gets nailed

[housenuts]

[ QUOTE ]
JERRY: I'm going out with one of the Miss America contestants, you wanna go?

KRAMER: What state?

[/ QUOTE ]

jerry: rhode island

kramer: rhode island? nah, they're never in contention

[balkii]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I had sex with your wife!

[/ QUOTE ]

i have to watch your avater for at least 5 loops everytime is see a post of yours

i think what really makes it is that the door closes after he gets nailed

[/ QUOTE ]

yeah im still laughing out loud every time i actually watch it

[KingDan]

JERRY: I don't understand, I made a reservation, do you have my reservation?
RENTAL CAR AGENT: Yes, we do, unfortunately we ran out of cars.
JERRY: But the reservation keeps the car here. That's why you have the reservation.
RENTAL CAR AGENT: I know why we have reservations.
JERRY: I don't think you do. If you did, I'd have a car. See, you know how to take the reservation, you just don't know how to *hold* the reservation and that's really the most important part of the reservation, the holding. Anybody can just take them.

[MickeyHoldem]

George: "Dark and disturbed? His whole life revolves around Superman and cereal. I convinced him to act like that so that you would think I was funnier. That's how disturbed I am! If you want disturbed, that's disturbed! You can't find sickness like that anywhere. You think sickness like that grows on trees? Nobody is sicker than me, nobody. He's pretending, I'm the genuine article."

[mostsmooth]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
phone rings:
JERRY: Uh, sorry, Excuse me one second. Hello.

TEL: Hi, would you be interested in switching over to TMI long distance service.

JERRY: Oh, gee, I can't talk right now. Why don't you give me your home number and I'll call you later.

TEL: Uh, I'm sorry we're not allowed to do that.

JERRY: Oh, I guess you don't want people calling you at home.

TEL: No.

JERRY: Well now you know how I feel.

[/ QUOTE ]
This may be my least favorite exchange in the whole series. It's unoriginal and... it just sucks.

[/ QUOTE ]
i agree

excuse me sir, where are we?
earth

[Blarg]

My favorite thing isn't a line. It's the part in the episode where they all agree to pool some money, and the last person to masturbate wins. Then they see a cute girl out the window, Kramer says excuse me for a minute, and when they turn away from the window, they see him walk back into the apartment and BAM, slam his 50 bucks into the table. He lasted like three minutes after taking the pledge.

My second favorite is also from that episode, and it's an actual line this time. They're all talking about the pledge and the pool, and Elaine says she's in. George says no way, it's different with her, she's a woman, and resisting is no problem for her.

That's not true, Elaine says. We get the urge too. How long do you think I could last.

"I don't know," says George. "Spring?"

[Jazza]

i haven't seen all the ep's but my vote is:

Jerry: "And you want to be my latex salesman..."

[mostsmooth]

"youre a john!" ranks up near the top as well

[ucfryan]

[phone rings]
KRAMER: Yallo. What delay industries?
ELAINE: no no , ..
GEORGE: [from bathroom] VANDALEY, SAY VANDALEY!
KRAMER: Na, you're way way way off.. Well, yeah that's the right number but
this is an apartment
GEORGE: [from bathroom] VANDALEY, SAY VANDEL... [George falls] ... vandaley
Industries, ...
KRAMER: no problem, ... no problem. [Hangs up] ... How did YOU know who that
was?
[Jerry enters - sees George on the floor]
JERRY: And you want to be my latex salesman.

[ucfryan]

Another one of my favorites from "The Outing"

George: Alright, I'll tell you the truth. I'm not gay. My name's Buck Naked, I'm a porno actor.

[birdman6fo]

Elaine, [eating dinner with Kramer, Elaine, and Puddy]: "Mmm. This food is fantastic,
Peggy: And what a pretty radish rose, huh?"
Kramer: "Well, thank you."
Elaine: "Here's to Peggy, on her first week of being germ-free, free."
[all four make toast]
Kramer: "Yeah. And here's to David Puddy for helping me install a much needed and much appreciated garbage disposal in my bathtub."
[all four make another toast]
Peggy: "You have a garbage disposal in your bathtub?"
Kramer: "Oh, yeah, and I use it all the time. Yeah, I made this whole meal in there."
Elaine: "This food was in the shower with you?"
Kramer: "Mm-hmm. I prepared it as I bathed."
[Peggy, Elaine, and Puddy all gag and wretch]
Puddy: "Oh, germs. Germs. Germs!"

[PoBoy321]

his wife's in a coma

[ripdog]

"What are you looking at? You never seen a kid in a bubble before?"

Look up the old thread--there's no need to go through this again.