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J_V
05-07-2005, 04:53 AM
You are in a fight to the death with one of these animals, which do you choose?

1. Wolverine
2. Alligator
3. Bobcat

rmarotti
05-07-2005, 04:55 AM
bobcat

J_V
05-07-2005, 04:56 AM
I'm thinking Wolverine, but maybe I should go alligator.

Dynasty
05-07-2005, 04:58 AM
If you can get the alligator on land, you've got a good shot.

Tron
05-07-2005, 05:21 AM
Not the wolverine, that's for sure...

Bobcat.

Chairman Wood
05-07-2005, 05:24 AM
With proper training the correct answer is alligator.

i wanna be me
05-07-2005, 05:27 AM
wolverine - and it's not even close

they're just puny little things - nothing like the x-men character. it'd easily be your best chance

alligator/bobcat /images/graemlins/confused.gif both of these would crush you

Tron
05-07-2005, 05:30 AM
Wolverines are vicious and they kill all the time. If they challenge a cougar for a carcass, the cougar walks away, no questions asked. They regularly take down deer and caribou, and for what it's worth, they can easily crush bones with their jaws.

Rick Nebiolo
05-07-2005, 05:33 AM
[ QUOTE ]
You are in a fight to the death with one of these animals, which do you choose?

1. Wolverine
2. Alligator
3. Bobcat

[/ QUOTE ]

Without looking at the other posts I would think alligator. It would seem to me that they aren't so quick and you could get behind it where you could keep its jaws shut and somehow strangle it (or knife it if that's allowed). The wolverine and bobcat just seem too quick and nimble.

~ Rick

Rick Nebiolo
05-07-2005, 05:35 AM
[ QUOTE ]
If you can get the alligator on land, you've got a good shot.

[/ QUOTE ]

Agree, the alligator would have to be on land (but aren't they pretty easy to get on land?).

~ Rick

BusterStacks
05-07-2005, 05:53 AM
How do you plan to kill the alligator once it's on land?

J_V
05-07-2005, 05:55 AM
http://www.pbase.com/annayu2/image/38381180

http://www.flmnh.ufl.edu/natsci/herpetology/act-plan/a-plan78.htm

http://www.bugkid.com/bobcat/index3.html

Wolverine 1 - JV 0

Pepsquad
05-07-2005, 06:47 AM
After the pictures, I'd have to say bobcat. No freaking way I'm taking Wolverine! With the bobcat you'd get messed up and it'd definitely involve a trip to the ER but if you get it by the neck, it's over.

Jack of Arcades
05-07-2005, 07:28 AM
The wolverine, because it'd be over quicker.

handsome
05-07-2005, 07:41 AM
If the alligator's on land, the bobcat would definitely win and it's not even close. I'd be willing to put money down on this.

DavidC
05-07-2005, 07:49 AM
alligator: baby, alone.

It would probably be harder to kill than a baby bobcat, but I wouldn't feel as bad.

Sephus
05-07-2005, 08:15 AM
bobcat. it might claw the hell outta me but my strength and size advantage would be great enough that it would be over prety fast. it would have a hard time getting to my neck and head without me getting a good thump on its skull. also if i can get ahold of a hind leg and start swinging it around, game over.

im not sure how i would kill an alligator. i'd need a knife or at least some rope.

as for the wolverine, ill bet you could kick one of those like a soccer ball and it would come back for more. i might win but it would turn me into spaghetti.

DBowling
05-07-2005, 08:28 AM
[ QUOTE ]
as for the wolverine, ill bet you could kick one of those like a soccer ball

[/ QUOTE ]

for some reason i was also thinking kicking the wolverine would be the best way to attack it. does anyone have video of a wolverine tearing it up? i know it looks pretty viscious, but it also looks pretty small, how big are they?

Jeff W
05-07-2005, 08:30 AM
[ QUOTE ]
how big are they?

[/ QUOTE ]

Wolverine (http://blindkat.tripod.com/zoo/wolverine.html)

chesspain
05-07-2005, 08:49 AM
[ QUOTE ]
Not the wolverine, that's for sure...


[/ QUOTE ]

Last summer I was at a zoo in Anchorage, and there was a pen with two black bear cubs which shared a chain link side with a pen holding a wolverine. Placed on the wolverine's side of the fence was a large, wooden privacy sheet at least five feet high, yet that vicious little creature continuously barked, snarled, and jumped up right to the top of that barrier, as if he was going to get through to the bears.

Piz0wn0reD!!!!!!
05-07-2005, 08:56 AM
2

Sephus
05-07-2005, 09:24 AM
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
as for the wolverine, ill bet you could kick one of those like a soccer ball

[/ QUOTE ]

for some reason i was also thinking kicking the wolverine would be the best way to attack it. does anyone have video of a wolverine tearing it up? i know it looks pretty viscious, but it also looks pretty small, how big are they?

[/ QUOTE ]

kicking is the best strategy because it allows you to hopefully keep the rest of your body as far away from the little bastard as possible.

Aytumious
05-07-2005, 09:26 AM
It has to be alligator just becuase it would have some mobility issues against most athletic humans. The wolverine and bobcat would shred a human if fighting is the only option. If weaponry is involved, even a crude spear, it changes everything.

purnell
05-07-2005, 10:06 AM
Are you guys serious? I am sorry, but the only animal here that even has a chance against a motivated man is the alligator, and it's chances are very slim. Bobcats and Wolverines are too damn small to kill any but the weakest man. If the alligator got lucky, it could cripple the man and then have a shot at killing him. Bobcats and wolverines simply get the [censored] kicked/punched/bodyslammed/smashed-against-the-wall out of them.

Aytumious
05-07-2005, 10:29 AM
[ QUOTE ]
Are you guys serious? I am sorry, but the only animal here that even has a chance against a motivated man is the alligator, and it's chances are very slim. Bobcats and Wolverines are too damn small to kill any but the weakest man. If the alligator got lucky, it could cripple the man and then have a shot at killing him. Bobcats and wolverines simply get the [censored] kicked/punched/bodyslammed/smashed-against-the-wall out of them.

[/ QUOTE ]

I didn't realize how tiny a bobcat is. It makes my previous post look ridiculous. Wolverines are only a little bigger, but if you got in close I think it could slice you open pretty easily, although given it's lack of height, you could just keep kicking the little bastard. I would grab an alligator by the tale and whip it about 40 yards away from me.

purnell
05-07-2005, 10:35 AM
"If weapons are involved..."

yeah, a baseball bat kinda makes the whole thing silly. (and sick-funny too)

DcifrThs
05-07-2005, 10:35 AM
[ QUOTE ]
You are in a fight to the death with one of these animals, which do you choose?

1. Wolverine
2. Alligator
3. Bobcat

[/ QUOTE ]

seems like bobcat is the easy answer, so what do you know about their fighting styles/skills that i dont...assuming that bobcat is the WORST choice, i'd have to go w/ aligator

-Barron

Aytumious
05-07-2005, 10:40 AM
[ QUOTE ]
"If weapons are involved..."

yeah, a baseball bat kinda makes the whole thing silly. (and sick-funny too)

[/ QUOTE ]

Some intersting Facts about Wolverines

* If a wolverine was the size of a bear, it would be the strongest animal on Earth.
* The wolverine's jaws are strong enough to crush bones.
* Wolverines are capable of bringing down deer or caribou.
* A cougar will back away if it is challenged for a carcass by a wolverine.
* Wolverines are strong enough to drag an animal carcass three times their own weight for some distance.
* Wolverines have been reported to drive packs of wolves from their kills.

Even if it's not that big, I wouldn't want to face one without a weapon of some sort. I'd love to see a bear sized wolverine in action though.

DcifrThs
05-07-2005, 10:41 AM
[ QUOTE ]
How do you plan to kill the alligator once it's on land?

[/ QUOTE ]

slowly and carefully, perhaps with the use of props.

luxuries you dont have (time and intelligence) vs. a bobcat or a wolverine.

-Barron

purnell
05-07-2005, 10:49 AM
Haha, I'm with the cougar on this one. Running away is usually the best option if you have it.

willie
05-07-2005, 10:50 AM
wolverine

if i'm standing, i think i might be able to land some kicks to the head and maybe get the upper hand.

the other 2- i'm gonna get pwned. wolverine would kick my ass too, but i think i have the best shot against it.

nothumb
05-07-2005, 10:54 AM
[ QUOTE ]
Are you guys serious? I am sorry, but the only animal here that even has a chance against a motivated man is the alligator, and it's chances are very slim. Bobcats and Wolverines are too damn small to kill any but the weakest man. If the alligator got lucky, it could cripple the man and then have a shot at killing him. Bobcats and wolverines simply get the [censored] kicked/punched/bodyslammed/smashed-against-the-wall out of them.

[/ QUOTE ]

Sure, you could kick a wolverine. Just time it perfectly, because the bastards jump pretty high and if you miss, you'll have an angry rodent swinging from what used to be your dick.

Correct order is:
1.Bobcat
2.Alligator
3.Wolverine

NT

fnord_too
05-07-2005, 11:06 AM
Wolverine or Bobcat, there is just no way I think they can overcome my weight advantage. I think an alligator can move up to 40 mph on land, had a really thick hide, and is going to be close in weight. Without a weapon I don't know how I am going to be able to kill it, so right away I need someplace where there are rocks or sharp sticks or something and I have to have the time to acquire one of those.

Between bobcat and wolverine, the bobcat is slightly smaller I think so I will go with them.

purnell
05-07-2005, 11:08 AM
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Are you guys serious? I am sorry, but the only animal here that even has a chance against a motivated man is the alligator, and it's chances are very slim. Bobcats and Wolverines are too damn small to kill any but the weakest man. If the alligator got lucky, it could cripple the man and then have a shot at killing him. Bobcats and wolverines simply get the [censored] kicked/punched/bodyslammed/smashed-against-the-wall out of them.

[/ QUOTE ]

Sure, you could kick a wolverine. Just time it perfectly, because the bastards jump pretty high and if you miss, you'll have an angry rodent swinging from what used to be your dick.

Correct order is:
1.Bobcat
2.Alligator
3.Wolverine

NT

[/ QUOTE ]


So it dies, and I lose my dick (and maybe an eye or something). There is no way in hell I'm getting anywhere near one of these creatures by choice. But if I were locked in a cage with it, I seriously doubt it would kill me before I killed it. I agree that a bobcat (AKA Morris plus 20 pounds and a real bad attitude) is the best choice.

fnord_too
05-07-2005, 11:09 AM
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
"If weapons are involved..."

yeah, a baseball bat kinda makes the whole thing silly. (and sick-funny too)

[/ QUOTE ]

Some intersting Facts about Wolverines

* If a wolverine was the size of a bear, it would be the strongest animal on Earth.
* The wolverine's jaws are strong enough to crush bones.
* Wolverines are capable of bringing down deer or caribou.
* A cougar will back away if it is challenged for a carcass by a wolverine.
* Wolverines are strong enough to drag an animal carcass three times their own weight for some distance.
* Wolverines have been reported to drive packs of wolves from their kills.

Even if it's not that big, I wouldn't want to face one without a weapon of some sort. I'd love to see a bear sized wolverine in action though.

[/ QUOTE ]

Wow, tough little bastards.

Diplomat
05-07-2005, 11:27 AM
I haven't read the other replies, but it doesn't really matter: wolverine and it's not close. It's a friggin woodland animal that weighs 35 pounds at most. It's not an X-Men.

-Diplomat

toss
05-07-2005, 11:31 AM
Wolverine Link (http://blindkat.tripod.com/zoo/wolverine.html)

The site where you got this info also says that the wolverine is also known as the "skunk bear".

Aytumious
05-07-2005, 11:33 AM
[ QUOTE ]
Wolverine Link (http://blindkat.tripod.com/zoo/wolverine.html)

The site where you got this info also says that the wolverine is also known as the "skunk bear".

[/ QUOTE ]

It also says that, "The Wolverine is neither a spirit or devil." I guess I'm not really seeing your point, unless you just wanted to post the link.

toss
05-07-2005, 11:35 AM
Skunk devil or spirit bear? This site is vague about that.

nothumb
05-07-2005, 11:39 AM
[ QUOTE ]
So it dies, and I lose my dick (and maybe an eye or something). There is no way in hell I'm getting anywhere near one of these creatures by choice. But if I were locked in a cage with it, I seriously doubt it would kill me before I killed it.

[/ QUOTE ]

So you're saying that once you have an evil, angry rodent clawing at your nuts, you've got it right where you want it? /images/graemlins/grin.gif

Seriously, you will be in such ridiculous pain if you get bitten by one of these things, and it is going to keep clawing at you and tearing at your flesh. If it DID get at any major artery (like your testicles) your odds of bleeding to death before you can kill it are quite good.

If you'd ever seen a video of a wolverine in action you would understand. They are possessed by the devil.

NT

Diplomat
05-07-2005, 11:39 AM
True, but it's still the size of a Cocker Spaniel.

-Diplomat

toss
05-07-2005, 11:43 AM
Bite it back. Lets see you bite a croc back.

Aytumious
05-07-2005, 11:43 AM
[ QUOTE ]
True, but it's still the size of a Cocker Spaniel.

-Diplomat

[/ QUOTE ]

From Wikipedia.

"American Cockers weigh 24 to 28 pounds (11 to 12.75 kg) and stand 15 inches (38 cm) maximum height"

"The wolverine is a stocky and muscular omnivorous (but largely carnivorous) animal with glossy brownish-black hair that can weigh up to 30 kg (66 lb) (male), and is 70–110 cm (27–43 in) long with a 20 cm (8 in) tail."

A 60 lb wolverine would shred me.

purnell
05-07-2005, 11:44 AM
I hope this never happens to me then (unless I'm in leather armor and holding a club /images/graemlins/tongue.gif).


edit:"The wolverine is a stocky and muscular omnivorous (but largely carnivorous) animal with glossy brownish-black hair that can weigh up to 30 kg (66 lb) (male), and is 70–110 cm (27–43 in) long with a 20 cm (8 in) tail."

I didn't know they got so big. Now we're talking about a pit bull-sized devil-posessed rat. I'm going to pretend they don't exist.

Mike Haven
05-07-2005, 11:47 AM
Wolverine.

The classic way of killing a wolverine with your bare hands is to rip its tail out from the root, and when it opens its mouth to scream in agony you stuff its own tail down its throat. Then you insert your first two fingers into its nostrils until it suffocates.

Diplomat
05-07-2005, 11:53 AM
Now that's a gruesome death.

-Diplomat

Diplomat
05-07-2005, 11:56 AM
All right. So heavy English Springer Spaniel, not Cocker Spaniel. Satisfied? /images/graemlins/wink.gif

I'm willing to conceed though that it's close between the bobcat and the wolverine.

-Diplomat

wacki
05-07-2005, 12:00 PM
http://media.movieweb.com/galleries/800/523/hi/co2.jpg

what is this from?

Aytumious
05-07-2005, 12:03 PM
[ QUOTE ]
All right. So heavy English Springer Spaniel, not Cocker Spaniel. Satisfied? /images/graemlins/wink.gif

I'm willing to conceed though that it's close between the bobcat and the wolverine.

-Diplomat

[/ QUOTE ]

I just was worried you may be out in the words one day and underestimate a wolverine, so that before you were able to pull its tail out and stuff it in its mouth, it would be swinging from your dick, preparing to shove its fingers in your nose to suffocate you.

SomethingClever
05-07-2005, 12:03 PM
[ QUOTE ]
How do you plan to kill the alligator once it's on land?

[/ QUOTE ]

Take a running start, jump as high as you can, and smash its head in with your heels.

I've done this... back home we called it alligator-smushin' and it's all we did on Friday nights.

TStoneMBD
05-07-2005, 12:10 PM
arent there any rocks laying around? you could just smash the alligator with them. i wouldnt want to go up against a wolverine or bobcat. even if they dont kill you there is a good chance for permanent damage to all sorts of body parts. i dont think an alligator would be very dangerous on land. id guess that 66% of the time it never even touches you.

Jeff W
05-07-2005, 12:11 PM
Dark City

raisins
05-07-2005, 12:17 PM
Wolverines can fight.

They are considered the fiercest animal on earth. Grizzly bears on occassion have backed off from them. This contest is also no weapons. A strong case can be made that boots or shoes are a weapon. Without some boots I think you would be hard pressed in a confrontation with a badger. Even with boots and the clothing (armor) of your choice a wolverine is a huge favorite. Most people (as in the vast majority) in fights, when the adrenalin gets flowing misjudge distance due to the misperception of the passage of time; this is called tachy-psyche. Once the wolverine gets in past kicking range the advantage is definitely his. You are likely to miss and be off balance with the wolverine tearing your groin to pieces. An auspicious beginning.

regards,

raisins

purnell
05-07-2005, 12:42 PM
I think this fight ends with me helplessly watching it eat my lunch, along with the rest of the contents of my abdominal cavity.

NoTalent
05-07-2005, 01:18 PM
If this is a non-weapons fight here are my choices:

Bobact
Alligator
Wolverine

The wolverine will completley f*ck you up no questions asked.

The key with the alligator is getting behind it and close it's mouth. Then you could turn it over and maybe strangle it?

The bobcat would slice you up pretty good but if you were able to grab it you could smash it into the ground to kill it.

tech
05-07-2005, 01:23 PM
http://www.wolverinefoundation.org/graphics/coxgulo1.gif

purnell
05-07-2005, 01:42 PM
OMG. No weapons? He's cheating!

Blarg
05-07-2005, 02:02 PM
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Are you guys serious? I am sorry, but the only animal here that even has a chance against a motivated man is the alligator, and it's chances are very slim. Bobcats and Wolverines are too damn small to kill any but the weakest man. If the alligator got lucky, it could cripple the man and then have a shot at killing him. Bobcats and wolverines simply get the [censored] kicked/punched/bodyslammed/smashed-against-the-wall out of them.

[/ QUOTE ]

I didn't realize how tiny a bobcat is. It makes my previous post look ridiculous. Wolverines are only a little bigger, but if you got in close I think it could slice you open pretty easily, although given it's lack of height, you could just keep kicking the little bastard. I would grab an alligator by the tale and whip it about 40 yards away from me.

[/ QUOTE ]

A 30 pound cat can take a man.

Wolverines fight off bears over carcasses.

Aytumious
05-07-2005, 02:07 PM
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Are you guys serious? I am sorry, but the only animal here that even has a chance against a motivated man is the alligator, and it's chances are very slim. Bobcats and Wolverines are too damn small to kill any but the weakest man. If the alligator got lucky, it could cripple the man and then have a shot at killing him. Bobcats and wolverines simply get the [censored] kicked/punched/bodyslammed/smashed-against-the-wall out of them.

[/ QUOTE ]

I didn't realize how tiny a bobcat is. It makes my previous post look ridiculous. Wolverines are only a little bigger, but if you got in close I think it could slice you open pretty easily, although given it's lack of height, you could just keep kicking the little bastard. I would grab an alligator by the tale and whip it about 40 yards away from me.

[/ QUOTE ]

A 30 pound cat can take a man.

Wolverines fight off bears over carcasses.

[/ QUOTE ]

What makes you think I can't take a bear?

Blarg
05-07-2005, 02:07 PM
[ QUOTE ]
After the pictures, I'd have to say bobcat. No freaking way I'm taking Wolverine! With the bobcat you'd get messed up and it'd definitely involve a trip to the ER but if you get it by the neck, it's over.

[/ QUOTE ]

If you get even a housecat by the neck, you can still get bitten and get plenty of scratches, if the cat is motivated.

A 30 pound cat can bite to the bone and shred you with its claws. A cat of that size is surprisingly strong, too, and far more mobile than you are. Cats fight large prey with all four legs independently at once, as well as their teeth, have strong jaws, and are incredibly flexible and fast. Get a bobcat by the neck and your forearm is going to be a piece of hamburger.

Your best bet would be to keep most of its tools at a distance by kicking and punching it, not grabbing it.

Blarg
05-07-2005, 02:13 PM
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Are you guys serious? I am sorry, but the only animal here that even has a chance against a motivated man is the alligator, and it's chances are very slim. Bobcats and Wolverines are too damn small to kill any but the weakest man. If the alligator got lucky, it could cripple the man and then have a shot at killing him. Bobcats and wolverines simply get the [censored] kicked/punched/bodyslammed/smashed-against-the-wall out of them.

[/ QUOTE ]

Sure, you could kick a wolverine. Just time it perfectly, because the bastards jump pretty high and if you miss, you'll have an angry rodent swinging from what used to be your dick.

Correct order is:
1.Bobcat
2.Alligator
3.Wolverine

NT

[/ QUOTE ]


So it dies, and I lose my dick (and maybe an eye or something). There is no way in hell I'm getting anywhere near one of these creatures by choice. But if I were locked in a cage with it, I seriously doubt it would kill me before I killed it. I agree that a bobcat (AKA Morris plus 20 pounds and a real bad attitude) is the best choice.

[/ QUOTE ]

Kill it with what? You have no real tools besides your brain. Nothing sharp. Wolverines have a very thick coat that would absorb a great deal of your power from blows, and you couldn't wrestle one. Your only real tools would be a punch or kick, and you'd better get damn lucky and score a knock-out with the very first one, because one miss and your guts are on the ground. You'd probably look like you were moving in slow motion to a wolverine.

Badgerpoo
05-07-2005, 02:29 PM
ok, reasons why Bobcat is the bestest choice:

Firstly, you could taunt it for having a name Like Bob Monkhouse (who is a tool).

This done, and the foe suitably verbally abused you can baffle your adversary by flicking his ears (Anyone whos had a house cat will know how much they hate this).

He'll be getting ready to be rowdy by so it's time to lay the smack down. A swift one-two to the nose will daze and confuse the [censored] out of him.

Next you grab him by the neck and strangle till he can't breathe no more, maybe you cop a couple of light scratches but your ok (unless you're a pussy).

As for the alligator lovers: you're so wrong.

Fact: Alligators can run at speeds of up to 30mph
Fact: They can outrun a horse over 30ft
Fact: The longest recorded length for an alligator is 19' 2' = TONK
Fact: alligators have a crushing power of 3,000 psi in their jaws = Double tonk.

Alligator fighters get told.

fnord_too
05-07-2005, 03:37 PM
My strategy against a wolverine definitely would not be to punch or kick it. Punching at it is just silly IMO and kicking at it with any force is going to leave you exposed, plus I think it would be pretty hard to land a kick. My plan would be to either get hold of one of its lims and wrench it out of joint or to otherwise get in some form of control (even if that entails it latching on to me and doing damange) and slamming it into the ground with all my weigh, repeatedly. I am definitely protecting my throat at all costs.

2005
05-07-2005, 03:40 PM
I think I could f*** up a bobcat, thing looks like a pussy... just realized that was a really bad pun...

TStoneMBD
05-07-2005, 03:51 PM
you do realize that a wolverine can carry 3 times its weight and weights about 35 pounts right? im having trouble picturing you grabbing it by its limbs. i think it would grab you by your limbs. lol.

Michael Davis
05-07-2005, 03:56 PM
"Wolverines are vicious and they kill all the time. If they challenge a cougar for a carcass, the cougar walks away, no questions asked. They regularly take down deer and caribou, and for what it's worth, they can easily crush bones with their jaws."

When you just rip information from a website you should give the source.

-Michael

wacki
05-07-2005, 04:22 PM
Agreed.

According to this:

http://www.adfg.state.ak.us/pubs/notebook/furbear/wolverin.php

"Adult males generally weigh 20-45 pounds (9-20 kg) while adult females weigh 15-30 pounds (7-14 kg). "

I would be amazed if a wolverine could take down a caribou. Those guys are HUGE!!!! I'm not attacking the claim, I would just like to see the source. It's realy hard to believe.

A pic of a caribou next to a man:
http://www.alaskabiggamehunting.com/images/TomS_Oregon.jpg

Blarg
05-07-2005, 04:24 PM
I think trying to hold a wolverine's limbs would leave you without a hand and/or forearm. Not only do they have a strong bite, but they also have extremely powerful claws. Guaranteeed they move just as fast as you do at least, so once you locked on to a limb, that mouth is coming down on you and so is one or more of those claws. If it latches on to you, I think you're basically dead. Wrestling it would be like juggling razor blades, with the chance of crushing.

Frankly, I don't think you have much of a chance no matter what you do. Fighting an animal that brings down caribou and scares off bears and mountain lions and packs of wolves is basically hopeless. And every attack or defense always leaves you exposed, so it's choose your poison. I just think wrestling or grappling with it would be the quickest way to get shredded and start having parts amputated, and a punch could easily be absorbed and would have to be both extremely powerful and very accurate - a clean knock-out blow, basically. And it would require getting very close.

Besides prayer, which is your basic remedy, that leaves only kicking. You'll probably only get one chance, and it will probably either miss, be intercepted and either slashed or bitten or both, land on something that doesn't hurt like it's thickly coated shoulders, or land someplace good like the head but still not be anywhere near enough to do anything but slow the wolverine down for a second or two. You'd be lucky to win in a five-second fight, much less a sustained one, so unless your initial blow severely disorients or incapacitates, and you follow up immediately with another lucky series of blows, you're basically history.

We're just totally outclassed here.

I think my main strategy is waving my arms and shouting to disorient and confuse the thing, maybe waving my shirt at it to make it think I'm bigger and have a longer reach than I do, hoping it gets flustered or confused and moves on. I've seen documentaries where African tribesman scared a couple of full grown cheetahs off their kill with just a single long thin reed that way. Pathetic chance of working, but no alternative is not pathetic. To a wolverine we'd be about as dangerous as you and me find a refrigerated pudding cup.

Blarg
05-07-2005, 04:30 PM
I think you could kill a bobcat if you got lucky, but you'd have to do it while his hind legs are literally ripping your stomach and groin open(a cat specialty) while he was completely shredding the meat and tendons on your forearms and upper arms with his forepaws, and quite possibly finding a way to bite your hands and wrist in the process. If his head gets free, you're screwed. Holding a fiercely struggling cat is like holding a live electrical wire. You'd need some serious medical care and would have massive blood loss, and too many scars to count.

mostsmooth
05-07-2005, 05:17 PM
[ QUOTE ]
http://media.movieweb.com/galleries/800/523/hi/co2.jpg

what is this from?

[/ QUOTE ]
the internet?

fnord_too
05-07-2005, 05:20 PM
These things are 45 pounds. I'm not saying it wouldn't do a lot of damage, but I don't think it could kill me before I got it (unless I paniced, which I may).

The argument about scary off bears and such isn't that strong. If the bear HAD to fight to the death, it would win. I would lose to a decent size shark in a fight to the death, but I could probably get it to not fight by thumping it on its nose (which is a big nerve center for sharks) if it even decided to attack me (which it probably would not unless I was flailing about like a wounded fish). The point is, a lot of animals just don't like fights where they are not a lock to win without sustaining any injuries, so they avoid them.

I may be underestimating the effectiveness of their claws and teeth, but if it say latches on to my arm, effectively destroying it, I am going to be able to smash its head or back into a tree or a rock or my knee if that's the only hard thing arround a couple of times with all my might. I don't see it surviving that, and if it does, I don't seeing it having enough fight left in it to stop me from smashing it against something hard until it dies.

If there is a big stick or rock I can pick up or such laying arround that I can get before it gets to me, I really don't like its chances. If I'm forced to fight naked, that would just suck.

At any rate, I don't think I would be happy after the fight, because I think it would do a fair amount of damage before I could slam it into something.

mostsmooth
05-07-2005, 05:22 PM
[ QUOTE ]
* If a wolverine was the size of a bear, it would be the strongest animal on Earth.

[/ QUOTE ]
if an ant was the size of a bear, IT would be the strongest animal, and it would kick the shlt out of a wolverine, bear sized or otherwise

Felix_Nietsche
05-07-2005, 05:38 PM
Bob Cats will tear you up and you can't out run them.
Wolverwine dito....

Alligator.....lure him on land and smash him with rocks.

Monkeyslacks
05-07-2005, 05:42 PM
[ QUOTE ]
I would be amazed if a wolverine could take down a caribou. Those guys are HUGE!!!! I'm not attacking the claim, I would just like to see the source. It's realy hard to believe.

[/ QUOTE ]

I'll go you one better:

[ QUOTE ]
It is considered to be very strong and ferocious and has been known to kill animals as large as a moose. In fact, its preference for reindeer have caused it to be hunted significantly in areas depending economically on caribou herds, to the extent that its existence might be considered to be in danger in some regions. It is generally not aggressive towards humans, preferring to avoid human contact.

[/ QUOTE ]

From here: Wikipedia (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wolverine)

Sephus
05-07-2005, 05:52 PM
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
* If a wolverine was the size of a bear, it would be the strongest animal on Earth.

[/ QUOTE ]
if an ant was the size of a bear, IT would be the strongest animal, and it would kick the shlt out of a wolverine, bear sized or otherwise

[/ QUOTE ]

a bear sized ant wouldnt necessarily be that strong. just because an ant can lift 50x its weight doesn't mean a 400lb ant would be able to lift 20,000 lbs. i could be way off, but i'm not even sure a bear-sized ant would be able to walk without difficulty. someone who knows more about physics and zoology might know. (there's a reason insects are small)

pheasant tail (no 18)
05-07-2005, 05:54 PM
[ QUOTE ]
It would seem to me that they aren't so quick and you could get behind it where you could keep its jaws shut and somehow strangle it (or knife it if that's allowed).

[/ QUOTE ]

I think you need to watch more TV Rick. They are pretty fast and strong.

I think the best choice is to get a Bobcat by the tail and swing its head against a tree. /images/graemlins/grin.gif

Unless of course you could fight the alligator in the tundra or somewhere real cold and can take advantage of it's reptilian metabolism.

Blarg
05-07-2005, 06:20 PM
45 pounds of muscle. Way stronger than human muscle, too. This is carnivore, fight for survival, trained killer muscle.

How many pounds of razor blades would it take to slice you to ribbons? How heavy a wrench or pair of plyers would it take to crush, twist off, or snip off your fingers?

I also think it's going to be much harder to dash its brains out when your body is being sliced up and you're wracked with terrifying, mind-scrambling pain. My guess is, a person could take whatever his I.Q. is and subtract at least 80 points to get an idea of how together and efficient he'd really be in this situation.

I think you're overestimating your chances against a shark, too. You'd probably have a better chance to punch its tongue than its nose. And even big sharks often just bite once in the legs and then swim away while you weaken and die. One even smallish bite and you've got an excellent chance of death by blood loss and shock alone.

I think people are overestimating the power of a rock or stick, too. There are people who don't even know they've been stabbed until they've won the fight and someone literally tells them there's a knife sticking out of their back. Most blows with anything don't land that solidly or hit a vital point. I doubt many of our rock and stick wielders here are trained in using them and experienced in using them in life and death situations -- when it comes to wild animals, though, that's exactly how they've refined the use of their weapons. Anything's possible, but I think a guy with a stick or stone against a wolverine would have a very small chance.

Tron
05-07-2005, 07:00 PM
Sources are for nerds.

Tron
05-07-2005, 07:01 PM
That said, source (http://blindkat.tripod.com/zoo/wolverine.html).

ZeeJustin
05-07-2005, 07:14 PM
I'm a HUGE underdog vs any of these animals, so the question is, which am I most likely to get really lucky against? Unlikely as it may be, a strong direct blow would cause more damage to the bobcat than anything else.

I think a couple of people are underestimating how fast alligators are. Sure, you may be used to seeing them sit in water relatively still, but when they're attacking something, they're quick mofos. FWIW, if I was fighting the alligator, I would try to go for it's eyes from behind and hope to blind it.

Edit: I didn't realize how small wolverines are. If they are only 36 pounds as adults, I change my choice to Wolverine.

MMMMMM
05-07-2005, 07:21 PM
[ QUOTE ]

I think the best choice is to get a Bobcat by the tail and swing its head against a tree

[/ QUOTE ]

Are bobcat tails long enough for this?

MMMMMM
05-07-2005, 07:29 PM
[ QUOTE ]
I think people are overestimating the power of a rock or stick, too. There are people who don't even know they've been stabbed until they've won the fight and someone literally tells them there's a knife sticking out of their back. Most blows with anything don't land that solidly or hit a vital point. I doubt many of our rock and stick wielders here are trained in using them and experienced in using them in life and death situations -- when it comes to wild animals, though, that's exactly how they've refined the use of their weapons. Anything's possible, but I think a guy with a stick or stone against a wolverine would have a very small chance.

[/ QUOTE ]

Yeah, I agree. And I wouldn't be all that surprised if a baseball bat or even a sword might just even the odds.

tolbiny
05-07-2005, 07:52 PM
Your posting on an internet forum.

tolbiny
05-07-2005, 08:02 PM
"The point is, a lot of animals just don't like fights where they are not a lock to win without sustaining any injuries, so they avoid them."

The reason cougers and bears defer their kills to wolverines is because wolverines are not one of those animals. They will fight anything, no matter how much bigger, or the size of their claws. Nothing you will do will deter it as a puny piece of [censored] human. You take a 2 inch razor and slash it across you gut, and your intestines will be hanging out. A wolverine has many such razors on each paw- plus jaws that could crush bone.
You have... nothing cause the damn democrats won't let you have a concealed weapon permit since you got caught molesting those kids.

tolbiny
05-07-2005, 08:05 PM
Dude, i think a cocker spaniel could take at least 50% of the 2+2 population.

Felix_Nietsche
05-07-2005, 08:09 PM
I've killed many olverine that way...

DavidC
05-07-2005, 08:35 PM
[ QUOTE ]
http://media.movieweb.com/galleries/800/523/hi/co2.jpg

what is this from?

[/ QUOTE ]

Dark City: One of my favourite movies. It's totally awesome. /images/graemlins/smile.gif

DavidC
05-07-2005, 08:36 PM
both Jeff and Mosts are correct. /images/graemlins/smile.gif

purnell
05-07-2005, 09:39 PM
[ QUOTE ]
Dude, i think a cocker spaniel could take at least 50% of the 2+2 population.

[/ QUOTE ]

Aytumious
05-08-2005, 12:06 AM
[ QUOTE ]
Your posting on an internet forum.

[/ QUOTE ]

And?

bernie
05-08-2005, 05:32 AM
[ QUOTE ]
I would think alligator. It would seem to me that they aren't so quick and you could get behind it where you could keep its jaws shut and somehow strangle it

[/ QUOTE ]

Ever seen an alligator roll? It's pretty violent. You're not strangling an alligator.

b

DiamondDave
05-09-2005, 07:10 AM
Anything but the wolverine.

Myrtle
05-09-2005, 08:16 AM
[ QUOTE ]
You are in a fight to the death with one of these animals, which do you choose?

1. Wolverine
2. Alligator
3. Bobcat

[/ QUOTE ]



Thoughts on this subject in no particular priority or order:

- Assess the opponents weaknesses, not strengths.

- Which of those weaknesses are we most likely to be able to take advantage of?

- Accurate knowledge of all three potential opponents sure would be helpfull for the unlucky human faced with this choice!

- When considering size of opponent, it is foolish to rate by that factor alone. These are WILD animals! Their strength would amaze most humans who have no direct experience.

- Try grabbing an itty bitty wild 4 pound grey squirrel by the tale sometime. Tell me how you made out (if you can still type will both your hands all bandaged up!)

- Closest thing we can use for comparison's sake would be our domesticated housecats. Have you ever had to put a pill in the mouth of one of them that is unwilling to be man-handled? Try it sometime...then, you'll begin to get an idea of what you're up against.

All that said and done......

No mention of a weapon here, so I assume we have none? If that's the case, my order would be....

- Bobcat
- Alligator
- Wolverine

Why? Of the three, the one with the most glaring weakness is the bobcat. Bobcats have amazingly thin upper skulls and a reasonable blow can cave it in, severely injuring the brain and killing it.

Alligator have strength and are pretty well armored. Even if one can get position on it, how would you kill it without some kind of a weapon?

Wolverines are the real 'bad news bear' deal. Incredible strength, speed, weapons, determination and ferocity. No apparent defensive weakness.

Remember, the OP said "fight to the death", and I'm sticking to that literally.

Quite honestly, it's the lesser of 3 evils, but by far, IMO, the bobcat is the best choice if we can't avoid making a choice.

Wes ManTooth
05-09-2005, 08:43 AM
Some reason this thread made me think of this quote...

"Contrary to what most people say, the most dangerous animal in the world is not the lion or the tiger or even the elephant. It's a shark riding on an elephant's back, just trampling and eating everything they see." -Jack Handy

jba
05-09-2005, 01:08 PM
[ QUOTE ]
The wolverine, because it'd be over quicker.

[/ QUOTE ]

I think this is the correct answer.