Is racism okay?

[Josh W]

About a week ago, I posted a question on here basically asking: Is it racism if you have certain racial requirements for your spouse?

The responses were overwhelmingly one of two:

1.) Yes, it's racism

or

2.) It's perfectly normal, acceptable behavior (ignoring whether or not it's racist).

So, my question now is....is it EVER acceptable to be racist (use your own definition of the word here...don't respond saying 'depends on your definition of racism').

Is racism ever 'okay'?

[Joe826]

Racism, by definition, is not ok. It presupposes certain things about a person just because they belong to a particular race, which is stupid and wrong. Especially when those presuppositions effect the person in a negative way.

Being picky about spouse based on race isn't necessarily racism. If you just don't find a certain group of people physically attractive there is nothing you can do about that. If, however, you automatically assume all of those people are a certain way due to their race and so choose not to consider them as a potential spouse, then you're being racist and not cool.

[IggyWH]

Your personal attraction doesn't have anything to do with your racial beliefs.

I tend to not find asians hot... that doesn't mean I'm racist against asians, it just means they don't do it for me.

[dutchbrodymoss]

racism is okay as long as it's rooted in fact. hahaha jk.

uhm. well, i believe in the existence of a universal aesthetic. so... it doesn't matter what you are. as long as you're hot, you're hot.

plus, there's all kinds of people that you could relate to on a deep level. and they might not necessarily be like you. hence... limiting yourself is bad. always try to keep your options open.

[Joe826]

[ QUOTE ]

I tend to not find asians hot... that doesn't mean I'm racist against asians.

[/ QUOTE ]

i'm pretty sure that just means you're crazy /images/graemlins/confused.gif

[BusterStacks]

Yes, it's ok when your audience is not offended.

[Josh W]

Lets say you 'met' somebody...via an ad, online, through a friend, whatever, and you guys hit it off amazingly. I mean, you clicked like you never clicked before. You have never actually met her, though, and just talked to her on the phone.

And now you wanna meet her. You are going to meet at a restaurant, and she describes herself to you for the umpteenth time, but this time includes the fact that she's Asian (she hadn't mentioned it before).

Would you now refuse to meet her?

(if you say yes, I'd say that you are closed-minded at the very least)

Josh

[IggyWH]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]

I tend to not find asians hot... that doesn't mean I'm racist against asians.

[/ QUOTE ]

i'm pretty sure that just means you're crazy /images/graemlins/confused.gif

[/ QUOTE ]

Nah, asians look funny without that roll in their eye /images/graemlins/tongue.gif

[IggyWH]

[ QUOTE ]
Lets say you 'met' somebody...via an ad, online, through a friend, whatever, and you guys hit it off amazingly. I mean, you clicked like you never clicked before. You have never actually met her, though, and just talked to her on the phone.

And now you wanna meet her. You are going to meet at a restaurant, and she describes herself to you for the umpteenth time, but this time includes the fact that she's Asian (she hadn't mentioned it before).

Would you now refuse to meet her?

(if you say yes, I'd say that you are closed-minded at the very least)

Josh

[/ QUOTE ]

There's a difference from having a relationship (I'm talking on the friend level, not sexual) with a woman that's asian and being attracted to an asian.

Not being attracted to asians is a very general statement because there's always some hot asian I would rail, but for the most part, they just don't do it for me.

[Josh W]

[ QUOTE ]

Not being attracted to asians is a very general statement because there's always some hot asian I would rail, but for the most part, they just don't do it for me.

[/ QUOTE ]

see, and i guess that's my point (if I have one...). In my original post a week ago, somebody made a remark that they generally weren't attracted to black women, but the most attractive person he ever dated was black. he included a moral like "so, if i had just stuck to my general rule of thumb, i woulda missed out on this gorgeous girl".

See, I'm not talking about "general rule". I'm talking about steadfast, written in concrete rules. "I absolutely will not seriously date/marry a person of x race".

'generally being attracted to' is totally different.

Josh

[IggyWH]

[ QUOTE ]
I'm talking about steadfast, written in concrete rules. "I absolutely will not seriously date/marry a person of x race".

[/ QUOTE ]

Then I would say that is a racist remark unless you have some kind of amazing reason.

[BusterStacks]

Ok, let's try this:

I absolutely would not marry a black chick.

[Josh W]

But would you absolutely ever, on an anonymous internet forum, say WHY you wouldn't?

Josh

[BusterStacks]

Same reason I wouldn't ever own a Jetta. I've evaluated the prospect of it, and decided it's not for me.

Granted, my sample size is small, but I'm confident in my decision. There are no specifics to explain it, but rather a combination of minor factors that add up to it.

Obviously it would be retarded to base this opinion exclusively on skin color. Certainly that's not the case, and the term "black chick" implies a lot more than that in American culture. Rather, the decision is based largely on a likelihood of certain character traits that is greater than the same likelihood among caucasian women. Hope that makes some sense.

Edit: also, this forum is far from anonymous for me.

[Josh W]

well, then again I gotta ask...

If you 'meet' somebody (without seeing them), and they have only character traits that you want, and none that you don't want, and you are about to meet her with romantic interest. then you find out she's black right before you meet her, would you meet her? would you still have an open mind about having a serious relationship with her?

and "none of your damn business, Josh W" is a valid response.

Josh

[Joe826]

That's still very, very dumb. Saying that you "absolutely will not" marry a black girl based on the fact that she is "likely" to exhibit certain traits makes sense to you?

What if she infact does not exhibit those traits you find undesirable?

[BusterStacks]

Alright, so you do want to literally have skin color as the sole variable? Well then the situation gets a little more tricky, but I'll play.

I would still meet her, and probably even bang her. I would not marry her though, as I do not think my grandparents would be very pleased. Additionally though, I feel like there is still some racism towards black people, and oddly, even more towards mixed children. I don't think I have the heart to see young children, especially my own, subjected to racism. That would rule out children, thus ruling out marriage.

[BusterStacks]

[ QUOTE ]
That's still very, very dumb. Saying that you "absolutely will not" marry a black girl based on the fact that she is "likely" to exhibit certain traits makes sense to you?

What if she infact does not exhibit those traits you find undesirable?

[/ QUOTE ]

Stfu noob, not every scenario needs to come down to hypotheticals. Are you really that intent on calling me dumb or poking holes in something that could never be a scientific absolute? Sheesh, we are just having a discussion. It's sad when you can almost predict the responses from various OOT nobodies. Let's try to be a little more creative, eh? This isn't an issue I feel strongly about, but I enjoy discussion.

[Josh W]

I don't know if you saw my thread a week ago or not, but I ended up bringing up the "not marry somebody cuz what the family would think" issue briefly, too. I think that makes things trickier, for sure.

Throw in the racially mixed kids and, yeah, things can get really tricky really quickly.

On a very off-topic subject that you touched on, what races (and mixes) do you think are racially prejudiced-against the most? My girlfriend (Asian) is/was somewhat worried about mixed kids (I'm white), but I think that here in Los Angeles (and I may be naive here) it wouldn't be an issue. However, I'm totally un-racist, and may be wrong in assuming that others are as well...I'm just curious as to what your thoughts are (I promise, no 3rd degree...)

Josh

[BusterStacks]

It doesn't bother me to share my opinion, but I don't have any experience with the issue. I just go by what I read. Having said that, what I have read about most and most recently was increasing prejudice towards children of white and black parents. I'm not sure about other mixes though, I honestly don't know enough about it.

[Joe826]

Well you phrased it very strongly, which led me to believe you felt very strongly about it. Calling me an OOT nobody (there's something sad about using that phrase as an insult) isn't gonna solve any of these problems. Anyways, calling your ideas dumb wasn't necessary, they just made no sense.