Dead
05-03-2005, 09:04 PM
I'm a Yankee fan, and even I found this to be hilarious:
link (http://www.nyyfans.com/article/8382/)
Relax, it’s only September!
By Phil Allard
NYYFans.com Staff Writer
May 2, 2005
Are you worried about the Yankees' abysmal start? You’re not alone. As we enter May, I would characterize my favorite team as slow, boring, old, and stupid. That’s in no particular order, of course.
If the Yankees continue to play like this, showing little heart, exposing their glaring weaknesses on a nightly basis, and being led by a Manager whose last good game was in 2001, then the following article may be representative of what we are reading in the Post and Daily News come September.
September 1, 2005
SEATTLE—The Yankees fell to 40-94 last night as they dropped their third straight to Seattle, 3-2. Willie Bloomquist scored on a sacrifice fly to shallow center field to win the game in the bottom of the 9th for the Mariners.
Although Bernie Williams caught the high pop twenty feet behind 2nd base, he had trouble hitting the cut-off man, Tino Martinez, as his throw skipped several times before hitting the 2nd base bag and then rolled slowly toward the 3rd base line.
“I’ve noticed lately that Bernie has had a little trouble on his throws" Manager Joe Torre said after the game. “That may be something we’ll have to keep an eye on as we get deeper into the season.”
Throughout the game, the Yankees wasted several opportunities to score. In the 5th inning, they had the bases loaded and no one out when Jason Giambi, mired in a 9-124 slump, popped up to 3rd baseman Adrian Beltre.
Giambi still earned praise from his Manager: “There’s no question that Jason is forcing it a little” Torre said, “but we have to give him some time to turn it around. After all, this is the guy who hit .208 last year. That’s got to be worth something.”
When asked if it were worth $17 million, Torre glared at Kimberly Jones and said “Next question.”
The Yankees ran themselves out of the inning when the next batter, Jorge Posada, also skied to Beltre.
Torre did not second-guess third-base coach Luis Sojo for waving Bernie Williams home from third on the infield pop-up, even though Beltre caught it near the pitching mound. Williams was thrown out after tagging up and trying to score.
"I don't like to second guess Luis," Torre said. "Luis is aggressive and that's certainly the right thing to do. Beltre had to make a perfect throw from 60 feet and he just happened to do that."
Torre continued: “I am confident my guys will come around. 40-94 is not a record I’d have signed up for at the beginning of the season, but these are my guys and they’ve been there before. I think we can turn it around in these last 28 games. Hopefully, the upcoming trip to Oakland will clear our minds a little.”
Torre also noted that veteran reliever Jeff Nelson, whom the Yankees acquired in July for Chien-Ming Wang and Eric Duncan, is progressing nicely from the torn ligaments he suffered in a clubhouse scuffle with Kevin Brown.
General Manager Brian Cashman noted: “We are hopeful of signing Nellie next year and seeing him in Spring Training.”
Meanwhile, down in Columbus, Robinson Cano finished a stellar year. Not only did Cano hit .322 with an on base percentage of .387, but he played great defense too. General Manager Brian Cashman is ecstatic about Cano’s development and sees him as one of the few bright spots in 2005.
“We are hoping to trade him this winter for a seasoned middle reliever. I don’t want to get into tampering, but it’s possible that John Franco may be available. We are scouting John now.”
Cashman added, “At 40-94, we are still in the wildcard hunt, so we haven’t really thought about breaking in a minor leaguer at this point. But it’s likely he’ll be invited to Spring Training next year if he isn’t dealt."
Other News and Notes:
Before last night, according to the Elias Sports Bureau, Felix Rodriguez did not have an 0-2 count on any batter while he has been a member of the New York Yankees. Rodriguez broke the snide when he threw two consecutive strikes to Ichiro Suzuki, who was leading off the 7th inning for the Mariners. Rodriguez then threw four straight balls to Ichiro. It was Suzuki’s first walk of the season.
Kevin Brown’s dismantling of one of the toilets in the Yankee Stadium clubhouse last month cost an estimated $9,000 to fix. Brown was asked to donate the cost of the repairs, which he makes in 1 2/3 innings of work, to a local charity. Brown has appealed to the Player’s Union.
Mike Mussina's shipment of peanut butter was late arriving to the Yankees' hotel in Seattle this week. According to sources close to the persnickety pitcher, the mental anguish of this traumatic event caused Mike to loose concentration in the Yanks' 11-2 loss Tuesday night.
According to sources on the "Baseball Primer" website, a haven for the baseball fan with a sabermetric bent, Tony Womack's on-base percentage is now lower than his batting average. Baseball Geeks are at a loss to explain how this is possible.
The Commissioner’s Office announced that the Yankees will have to pay $98 million in luxury taxes next year as a penalty for their $208 million payroll. George Steinbrenner, the architect of the 40-94 ballclub, responded by firing 1st base coach Roy White.
For you memorabilia hunters out there: Alex Rodriguez’s Ballpark Memories LTD is selling autographed baseballs from Monday’s game when Alex went 2-4 with an RBI. At $3,500 a piece, these balls are going fast so call today to be sure you get a slice of history. (Editor’s note: The Yankees lost that game 9-2.)
Persistent rumors that Luis Sojo keeps live chickens in his locker are unfounded, according to team officials. Sources say that the "clucking" sound emanating from the clubhouse is actually Kimberly Jones practicing her post-game interviews.
According to Page Six of the New York Post, Derek Jeter has not been on a date since May.
link (http://www.nyyfans.com/article/8382/)
Relax, it’s only September!
By Phil Allard
NYYFans.com Staff Writer
May 2, 2005
Are you worried about the Yankees' abysmal start? You’re not alone. As we enter May, I would characterize my favorite team as slow, boring, old, and stupid. That’s in no particular order, of course.
If the Yankees continue to play like this, showing little heart, exposing their glaring weaknesses on a nightly basis, and being led by a Manager whose last good game was in 2001, then the following article may be representative of what we are reading in the Post and Daily News come September.
September 1, 2005
SEATTLE—The Yankees fell to 40-94 last night as they dropped their third straight to Seattle, 3-2. Willie Bloomquist scored on a sacrifice fly to shallow center field to win the game in the bottom of the 9th for the Mariners.
Although Bernie Williams caught the high pop twenty feet behind 2nd base, he had trouble hitting the cut-off man, Tino Martinez, as his throw skipped several times before hitting the 2nd base bag and then rolled slowly toward the 3rd base line.
“I’ve noticed lately that Bernie has had a little trouble on his throws" Manager Joe Torre said after the game. “That may be something we’ll have to keep an eye on as we get deeper into the season.”
Throughout the game, the Yankees wasted several opportunities to score. In the 5th inning, they had the bases loaded and no one out when Jason Giambi, mired in a 9-124 slump, popped up to 3rd baseman Adrian Beltre.
Giambi still earned praise from his Manager: “There’s no question that Jason is forcing it a little” Torre said, “but we have to give him some time to turn it around. After all, this is the guy who hit .208 last year. That’s got to be worth something.”
When asked if it were worth $17 million, Torre glared at Kimberly Jones and said “Next question.”
The Yankees ran themselves out of the inning when the next batter, Jorge Posada, also skied to Beltre.
Torre did not second-guess third-base coach Luis Sojo for waving Bernie Williams home from third on the infield pop-up, even though Beltre caught it near the pitching mound. Williams was thrown out after tagging up and trying to score.
"I don't like to second guess Luis," Torre said. "Luis is aggressive and that's certainly the right thing to do. Beltre had to make a perfect throw from 60 feet and he just happened to do that."
Torre continued: “I am confident my guys will come around. 40-94 is not a record I’d have signed up for at the beginning of the season, but these are my guys and they’ve been there before. I think we can turn it around in these last 28 games. Hopefully, the upcoming trip to Oakland will clear our minds a little.”
Torre also noted that veteran reliever Jeff Nelson, whom the Yankees acquired in July for Chien-Ming Wang and Eric Duncan, is progressing nicely from the torn ligaments he suffered in a clubhouse scuffle with Kevin Brown.
General Manager Brian Cashman noted: “We are hopeful of signing Nellie next year and seeing him in Spring Training.”
Meanwhile, down in Columbus, Robinson Cano finished a stellar year. Not only did Cano hit .322 with an on base percentage of .387, but he played great defense too. General Manager Brian Cashman is ecstatic about Cano’s development and sees him as one of the few bright spots in 2005.
“We are hoping to trade him this winter for a seasoned middle reliever. I don’t want to get into tampering, but it’s possible that John Franco may be available. We are scouting John now.”
Cashman added, “At 40-94, we are still in the wildcard hunt, so we haven’t really thought about breaking in a minor leaguer at this point. But it’s likely he’ll be invited to Spring Training next year if he isn’t dealt."
Other News and Notes:
Before last night, according to the Elias Sports Bureau, Felix Rodriguez did not have an 0-2 count on any batter while he has been a member of the New York Yankees. Rodriguez broke the snide when he threw two consecutive strikes to Ichiro Suzuki, who was leading off the 7th inning for the Mariners. Rodriguez then threw four straight balls to Ichiro. It was Suzuki’s first walk of the season.
Kevin Brown’s dismantling of one of the toilets in the Yankee Stadium clubhouse last month cost an estimated $9,000 to fix. Brown was asked to donate the cost of the repairs, which he makes in 1 2/3 innings of work, to a local charity. Brown has appealed to the Player’s Union.
Mike Mussina's shipment of peanut butter was late arriving to the Yankees' hotel in Seattle this week. According to sources close to the persnickety pitcher, the mental anguish of this traumatic event caused Mike to loose concentration in the Yanks' 11-2 loss Tuesday night.
According to sources on the "Baseball Primer" website, a haven for the baseball fan with a sabermetric bent, Tony Womack's on-base percentage is now lower than his batting average. Baseball Geeks are at a loss to explain how this is possible.
The Commissioner’s Office announced that the Yankees will have to pay $98 million in luxury taxes next year as a penalty for their $208 million payroll. George Steinbrenner, the architect of the 40-94 ballclub, responded by firing 1st base coach Roy White.
For you memorabilia hunters out there: Alex Rodriguez’s Ballpark Memories LTD is selling autographed baseballs from Monday’s game when Alex went 2-4 with an RBI. At $3,500 a piece, these balls are going fast so call today to be sure you get a slice of history. (Editor’s note: The Yankees lost that game 9-2.)
Persistent rumors that Luis Sojo keeps live chickens in his locker are unfounded, according to team officials. Sources say that the "clucking" sound emanating from the clubhouse is actually Kimberly Jones practicing her post-game interviews.
According to Page Six of the New York Post, Derek Jeter has not been on a date since May.