Girl in shower you have to crap

[SGS]

Okay so my roommate comes home and has to take a massive [censored]. The only problem is my other roommate's GF is in the shower with the door locked. He cannot hold it any longer as he says his stomach is hurting. He ends up shitting in our backyard. Given that this was his roommate's GF there is little if any chance of something sexual coming from her.

[JaBlue]

Just [censored] in the back yard what's the big deal?

If you can't hold it in you can't hold it in. I'd much rather [censored] in the back yard than all over myself while trying to hold it in because some stupid bitch is in the shower.

[Benholio]

How far away is the nearest public place with a toilet?

[The Dude]

Do you have no neighbors that you are friendly with?

[SGS]

Nah not really. Our neighbors are old and we are loud at night.

SGS

[SGS]

A few blocks. He didn't want to sit down and drive cause well you know.

SGS

[Benholio]

[ QUOTE ]
I'd much rather [censored] in the back yard than all over myself while trying to hold it in because some stupid bitch is in the shower.

[/ QUOTE ]

Can't argue with that. If you truly cannot hold it in, the back yard is a lot better than shitting your pants.

[SGS]

So the fact that this girl is pretty hot and will become aware of the fact that you [censored] in the backyard doesn't matter? I think that would be kind of embarrassing.

SGS

[NLSoldier]

Tell her to cut the shower short.

[Benholio]

Why is she going to become aware? And if she does, we ruled out any chance of sexual action from her already anyway...

[Yobz]

The only solution I see is to find something that belongs to the GF and sh.t on that...that'll teach her to take long showers.

[oreogod]

Really before I can come to any sort of decision, I need pics, preferably taken while she is in the shower. Have to place my self in the moment.

[ZeeJustin]

[ QUOTE ]
Nah not really. Our neighbors are old and we are loud at night.

SGS

[/ QUOTE ]

Is it safe to assume your neighbors have yards? If they catch you in the act and call the police, you can call them senile and blame it on a large neighborhood animal.

[Jules22]

[ QUOTE ]
Do you have no neighbors that you are friendly with?

[/ QUOTE ]

i dont know about you guys, but i refuse to take a dump in somebody else's bathroom unless i know them really well.

[Non_Comformist]

[ QUOTE ]
So the fact that this girl is pretty hot and will become aware of the fact that you [censored] in the backyard doesn't matter? I think that would be kind of embarrassing.

SGS

[/ QUOTE ]

She will be more attracted to someone with [censored] in his pants?

[DavidC]

All you need is a garden and preferably a shovel and you're good to go. If you don't have access to T.P., wipe iwth a sock, and bury the sock with the rest of the evidence.

Jesus Christ, I do this like twice a week. /images/graemlins/smile.gif

Edit: Not really, but I'm over-tired right now, and thought it was a pretty funny situation.

[Phoenix1010]

Poop in a bag and then throw it at her when she gets out for taking such long shower. The irony is that she will then have to take another shower, and the hilarity comes full circle.

[Mike Haven]

that reminds me of my first time with my friend's girlfriend

i was a bit naive, to say the least, and i wasn't too sure of what to do, so my friend said he'd hide in the bathroom and give me advice as necessary

anyways, we were about to go for it when i chickened out and told her i had to go to the bathroom

my friend was explaining the ins and outs again when his girlfriend found out she needed to take a dump really bad

because i was in the bathroom she ended up dumping in a drawer in the bedroom

i came out and started to make my move

i remembered i needed a contraceptive, which i kept in the drawer

when i opened the drawer i couldn't help shouting out "yeeuuch! there's shite in here!"

to which we heard a voice from the bathroom shouting back:

"turn her over! turn her over!"

[Phoenix1010]

[ QUOTE ]
that reminds me of my first time with my friend's girlfriend

i was a bit naive, to say the least, and i wasn't too sure of what to do, so my friend said he'd hide in the bathroom and give me advice as necessary

anyways, we were about to go for it when i chickened out and told her i had to go to the bathroom

my friend was explaining the ins and outs again when his girlfriend found out she needed to take a dump really bad

because i was in the bathroom she ended up dumping in a drawer in the bedroom

i came out and started to make my move

i remembered i needed a contraceptive, which i kept in the drawer

when i opened the drawer i couldn't help shouting out "yeeuuch! there's shite in here!"

to which we heard a voice from the bathroom shouting back:

"turn her over! turn her over!"

[/ QUOTE ]

Ok, this story is genuinely hilarious. I'm curious about the first sentence referring to the girl as "my friend's girlfriend." Does this mean that you and your friend were swapping for a night (maybe he was lending her to you for your first sexual experience or something?), or that your friend in the bathroom was so impressed by her taking a dump in a drawer that he decided to ask her out at a later date?

[purnell]

It hasn't been THAT long since [crapping] in the backyard was the norm. Get over it please.

[rmarotti]

This is an old joke and did not happen to the poster. Better versions exist.

[Mike Haven]

that reminds me of the time i went to a soccer match and ended up in the wrong supporters' area

i was the only red in a sea of blues

anyways, this big guy next to me tells me to go and get him a beer and to leave my shoes with him to make sure i came back

after the match i was interviewed by a tv reporter who asked if i could ever see the nasty rivalry between the reds and the blues ending peacefully

so i told him no, not until they stopped shitting in each other's shoes and pissing in each other's beer

[uw_madtown]

[ QUOTE ]
Tell her to cut the shower short.

[/ QUOTE ]

I thought this was the obvious answer, but apparently everyone else would rather go outhouse-style.

[TripleH68]

[ QUOTE ]
So the fact that this girl is pretty hot and will become aware of the fact that you [censored] in the backyard doesn't matter? I think that would be kind of embarrassing.

SGS

[/ QUOTE ]

If you did not take a picture of this guy shitting in the backyard, then what is wrong with you?

[MoreWineII]

I go take my [censored] then I bang the girlfriend.

[Shajen]

3 people, 1 bathroom?

Oh the humanity.

[ripdog]

[ QUOTE ]
The only solution I see is to find something that belongs to the GF and sh.t on that...that'll teach her to take long showers.

[/ QUOTE ]

My roomate used to take long showers, draining the hot water tank in the process. I explained to him that I didn't think it was cool, he basically told me to FO, "I pay rent here, blah, blah, blah, that gives me the right to use up all of the hot water". Fine. I set the limit for hot showers at 20 minutes. When your 20 minutes are up, I trot on down to the garage and close the valve at the hot water tank. The screaming is truly gratifying. You only need to do this once and they learn.

[GoblinMason (Craig)]

I once lived 4 people/1 bath.

Oh the humanity indeed.

-Craig

[kerssens]

you have a backyard but only one toilet??

[Patrick del Poker Grande]

[ QUOTE ]
I once lived 4 people/1 bath.

Oh the humanity indeed.

-Craig

[/ QUOTE ]
In college, my wife lived in a house with 5 girls plus boyfriends sharing one bathroom. 'Twas a mighty good time.

[Sponger15SB]

[ QUOTE ]
stupid bitch is in the shower.

[/ QUOTE ]

/images/graemlins/confused.gif /images/graemlins/confused.gif

You = [censored]

[gvibes]

I shat in a potted plant on our deck once. It wasn't even my roommate's girlfriend in the shower - it was my roommate's friend's girlfriend.

[touchfaith]

The obvious answer is to crap, but not flush and to tell her that you left a steamer but didn't want to distrub her water-flow.

She will thank you and proceed to sex you up.

Your welcome.

[Uston]

Take a plastic grocery bag and a few napkins into a bedroom and take care of your business there. Then tie it up and throw it in the nearest dumpster. No big deal.

[EliteNinja]

Crap in your NEIGHBOUR's backyard.

[HopeydaFish]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
The only solution I see is to find something that belongs to the GF and sh.t on that...that'll teach her to take long showers.

[/ QUOTE ]

My roomate used to take long showers, draining the hot water tank in the process. I explained to him that I didn't think it was cool, he basically told me to FO, "I pay rent here, blah, blah, blah, that gives me the right to use up all of the hot water". Fine. I set the limit for hot showers at 20 minutes. When your 20 minutes are up, I trot on down to the garage and close the valve at the hot water tank. The screaming is truly gratifying. You only need to do this once and they learn.

[/ QUOTE ]

Wow, you must be a pleasure to live with.

[gorie]

...how about pound on the bathroom door an shout "IM ABOUT TO POOP IN MY PANTS, HURRY UP AND IM NOT JOKING"

or at least TRY that option before going outdoors...

[CORed]

Well, there are really only two options: Crap in the back yard, or break down the bathroom door and do it in the bathroom.

[gorie]

that reminds me of when my boyfriend and i started dating we went out to eat at some restaurant and walked back to my house. the whole walk back he kept saying he really had to poop, and telling me not to talk because he was concentrating, and if i would make a joke he'd get really serious and mad cuz if he laughed or stopped concentrating , he said he'd poop in his pants. it was funny but i felt bad too.

thankfully, he made it.

[Patrick del Poker Grande]

Take your dump in a bag and leave it either at the bottom of the bathroom door or hanging from the handle. Tell her to put it in the toilet since she wouldn't let you put it there yourself. Future such incidents merit replacing the bag with an improvised container that... is of more value to the girl and/or the boyfriend who wouldn't help get the slut out of the shower.

[wh1t3bread]

Easy:

Break down the door and pretend you are filming a German Scheiße Pr0n video.

[JaBlue]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
stupid bitch is in the shower.

[/ QUOTE ]

/images/graemlins/confused.gif /images/graemlins/confused.gif

You = [censored]

[/ QUOTE ]

if some guest in my house will not let me use my bathroom while they are in the shower (or simply vacate it quickly) then they = bitch.

[Uston]

if some guest in my house will not let me use my bathroom while they are in the shower (or simply vacate it quickly) then they = bitch.

Even if you don't bother to tell them you need to use the bathroom?

[Rick Diesel]

It is a bathroom door. I am sure the lock is nothing spectacular. I would pick the lock and [censored] in the toilet.

[Dead]

[ QUOTE ]
I once lived 4 people/1 bath.

Oh the humanity indeed.

-Craig

[/ QUOTE ]

That's what I'm going to have next year.

Our apt will have 4 bedrooms and 1 bathroom, for 4 guys.

[JaBlue]

good story. Your boyfriend is kind of dumb though.

in Highschool, before my friends got cars, we rode the bus everywhere. Needless to say I had to crap incredibly bad and we were on the bus about 30 mins from my destination. I had only a twenty after my bus fare and begged with my friends to give me change so I could get off. Instead of doing that they made jokes and I laughed a ton and the feeling got worse and worse. Thankfully after one stop they just went with me and I took my crap.

[swolfe]

[ QUOTE ]
It is a bathroom door. I am sure the lock is nothing spectacular. I would pick the lock and [censored] in the toilet.

[/ QUOTE ]

i agree with this. you might even see some boobies.

[gorie]

[ QUOTE ]
good story. Your boyfriend is kind of dumb though.

[/ QUOTE ]
maybe, but why ? not like he could help it...!

[JaBlue]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
good story. Your boyfriend is kind of dumb though.

[/ QUOTE ]
maybe, but why ? not like he could help it...!

[/ QUOTE ]

no he's dumb for telling you. I told my friends not to make me laugh and it only encouraged them. I would imagine it would have the same effect on you.

[bogey]

[ QUOTE ]
I once lived 4 people/1 bath.

Oh the humanity indeed.

-Craig

[/ QUOTE ]

thats pretty normal, at least in college

[gorie]

[ QUOTE ]
no he's dumb for telling you. I told my friends not to make me laugh and it only encouraged them. I would imagine it would have the same effect on you.

[/ QUOTE ]
oh, i know what you mean. but nah i'm not that mean. i kept the jokes to a minimum! plus it was hard since he got *me* concentrating on it too since i wasn't suppose to talk !! /images/graemlins/laugh.gif but i try to be understanding...
and i think he was avoiding telling me until his concentration level + faster pace was obvious and i knew something was up. /images/graemlins/laugh.gif haha.

[Mike Haven]

That reminds me of when I was a Doctor and an Indian Chief came in and said "Big Chief no dump."

So I gave him two pills.

Next week he came in and said "Big Chief no dump."

So I gave him five pills.

Next week he came in and said "Big Chief no dump."

So I gave him ten pills.

Next week he came in and said "Big Chief no dump."

So I gave him ONE HUNDRED pills.

Next week an Indian Brave came in and said "Big dump no Chief."

[Freakin]

Kitchen sink, as long as there is a disposal.

Freakin

[Jim Kuhn]

My girlfriend came up with the perfect solution. Pick the lock, sneak in and lose your load while getting an eyeful, and let her blame her boyfriend.

Thank you,

Jim Kuhn
Catfish4u
/images/graemlins/spade.gif /images/graemlins/diamond.gif /images/graemlins/club.gif /images/graemlins/heart.gif

[STLantny]

Id be severly pissed, if someone who wasnt paying rent at my place prevented me from taking a dump. Pissed enough to poop on her windshield.