The Yugoslavian
05-01-2005, 01:09 AM
Commerce
So, after I decided to quit poker on Wednesday, I figured the best thing to do was to attend a meeting of 2+2 gambaholics and make sure that I never go more than 2 days without poker /images/graemlins/crazy.gif.
I left work in the early afternoon to meet up with Raptor (fresh in from Texas, stayin’ at the Commerce plotting a fool proof plan on how to get his Pai Gow $$$ back), Irieguy and the very old and most feared SkipperBob…
On arrival I saw Irieguy and Raptor sitting at a table talkin’ shop….quite a site to behold….sort of like the sensei master passing on wisdom to the complete luckbox idiot that one sees in those martial art movies. I think Irie even had a Fu Manchu ‘stache goin’, /images/graemlins/grin.gif (ok, fine, maybe not).
So, we hung out and kidded around, made fun of TheUsher and wondered where SkipperBob as I made it *crystal* clear we were to meet up next to the Commerce sandwich place. Of course, his cell phone wasn’t picking up so we realized chances were good he had already done himself in with too much boozing, gamblin’, and belligerentin’, /images/graemlins/mad.gif.
Of course, once we stopped waiting and made our way to find a small NL game to throw our chips around in, we saw him in a semi-conscious state in the middle of the floor. We, or rather he spotted us and started shouting something like ‘Yugo!’ ‘Yugoslavian!’ ‘Pinko commie bastard [censored]!?!?!’ Well, the last one did the trick and we ‘boogied’ over to a 2/3 NL 100 max table to watch Raptor chip dump to the fishies…
No one got the memo that I’m a horrific poker player b/c everyone was respecting my raises and I couldn’t help but steadily gain chips. Raptor, on the other hand, was mixin it up and had already rebought when….the defining hand of the Commerce portion of my trip unfolded:
Raptor is on the button and calls a pre-flop raise of ~15 and there are four to the flop. The flop comes A23 and he immediately puts his hands to his mouth like a little girl, shrieks, and literally jumps out of his chair. After the pre-flop raiser puts in a 25 to 30 bet, Rap composes himself (with hands still at mouth attempting to hide the silly little girl grin) and with as straight a face as he could muster, declares himself ‘all-in.’ Well, luckily for him one of his opponents has *no* idea what a ‘dead-on’ read involves and proceeds to call off all his chips to Raptor’s flopped wheel. I’m not even sure I even bothered to look when Rap’s hand was flipped over since it was so obvious. Oh yeah, I think his opponent had some crap like AT….did I mention Raptor is a luckbox?! /images/graemlins/wink.gif
Okay, so after sensei Irieguy busts and Skipperbob ‘boogies on out’ we’re on our way to Microbet’s house for some serious home-game action. Irieguy in his infinite wisdom gets LOST and has the Skipper and I making all sorts of wacko-jacko 5 point turns on narrow crack-whore streets….thanks Irie!!! /images/graemlins/smile.gif
Microbet’s 2+2 Homegame
When we arrived it was basically us, Micro and some of his non-forum friends. We decided to play a 7 seat STT and Micro won it (home-table advantage of course..he got all the big hands). The next 2+2er to arrive was Vindikation who was quit cool (/images/graemlins/cool.gif) but perhaps a little too into the dog that was hangin’ out (/images/graemlins/shocked.gif). The dog was cool I guess but his eyes were freakin’ me out, man! Then at some point Rohjoh and Rojosox showed up and we had full-on 2+2 action with such games I’ve never ever played making an appearance: Omaha pot/nl, Omaha high-low pot/nl, stud pot/nl, stud high-low pot/nl, pineapple, razz, triple draw lowball, and prolly others I can’t remember. Oh, and later in the night Lacky made a guest appearance via Raptor’s cell phone…he apparently had trouble installing a hard drive and somehow though Rap had any clue about them. I did get to chat with him for a while about a number of profound topics that I couldn’t hear due to the raucous ‘holla-ing’ going on around me. Oh, and he and his wife are expecting a baby any day now…..CONGRATS LACKY!!!! /images/graemlins/smile.gif
Well, suffice it to say I got snookered for the whole $300 I brought with me although I think I did get it in with the best of it several times, of course, who the f*ck knows since I had no idea what was goin’ on half the time /images/graemlins/tongue.gif. Oh, and while SkipperBob hooked up some bomb-ass Heinekens, he still left at like 7pm as he slowly was turning into a pumpkin, /images/graemlins/crazy.gif. I did enjoy it every time he completely ignored Raptor’s opinion on poker matters (i.e. ‘Hey Yugo? I have an important poker question for you and Irie…’ ‘What about me!’ ‘You don’t count Raptor, you can barely dress yourself…get a haircut hippie!’). Oh, and for the record I saw no ‘pussy’ trailing his ‘pussywagon’ at any point during the afternoon/evening/night.
Anyway, Irieguy had to pretty much explain every game we played to the table b/c only he and Raptor generally knew how to even play (Micro knew a few b/c he picked up Super System 2 earlier in the week and read it instead of doing ICM calcs). Rojosox quickly declared pineapple his favorite game ever, /images/graemlins/confused.gif (after getting aces or something his first hand and killing and maiming the table with it). So anyway, we may have played only one hand of Razz b/c Irie assured us it was an ‘old ladies’ game where there was little action and tons of boredom. However, the one hand we played was hall of fame caliber. After he explained the game and we received our cards all betting hell broke loose! I think it was Rojosox, me, Irie and Raptor who basically were all drawing to phat hands. Suffice it to say Mr. Luckbox himself, /images/graemlins/mad.gif, Raptor dragged the huge pot and then proceeded to bust me ,/images/graemlins/mad.gif /images/graemlins/mad.gif, a while later on some fishy suckout – I dunno how he did it but somehow the f*ckin’ decks were rigged!
Oh, and Raptor and I hashed out a ranking system earlier today for the top 5 players in the 2+2 game:
1. Irie/Raptor (guess who Raptor voted for?)
2. Irie/Raptor
3. That asian woman who played near the end of the night
4. Heineken #5 that I drank
5. Empty box of pizza sitting next to Irie
Okay, since I busted my ‘roll’ out a bit early ( /images/graemlins/frown.gif ) and had a vague idea at best what was goin’ on in all those ‘poker’ games we were playing, I’ll let other 2+2ers there elaborate on choice hands/beats/etc.
Stats:
Heinekens consumed: 5+
Pieces of pizza consumed: 3
Money won: -$xxx….good thing I don’t keep stats anymore
Pots the pizza box dragged: 7.8
Times SkipperBob looked like he would pass out: 11
Times Rojosox said pineapple was the greatest ever: 8
Times I got Rohjoh confused with Rojosox: 23
Times someone mentioned Rojosox’ STEP 5 Higher hand: 52
Times Micro tried to convince him the call with 99 ‘might be right depending on genoa_st’s reads: 9
Times Vindikation laughed at my jokes: every time, /images/graemlins/wink.gif
Times Irieguy outplayed Raptor: every time, /images/graemlins/wink.gif
Times Raptor babbled incoherently while swearing: 27, you @#$@#!, !@#$!#@, !@#$@!#$ luckboxes!!!
Yugoslav
PS Too bad GauchoFish/BlindTheif/Degen didn't show.../images/graemlins/grin.gif
So, after I decided to quit poker on Wednesday, I figured the best thing to do was to attend a meeting of 2+2 gambaholics and make sure that I never go more than 2 days without poker /images/graemlins/crazy.gif.
I left work in the early afternoon to meet up with Raptor (fresh in from Texas, stayin’ at the Commerce plotting a fool proof plan on how to get his Pai Gow $$$ back), Irieguy and the very old and most feared SkipperBob…
On arrival I saw Irieguy and Raptor sitting at a table talkin’ shop….quite a site to behold….sort of like the sensei master passing on wisdom to the complete luckbox idiot that one sees in those martial art movies. I think Irie even had a Fu Manchu ‘stache goin’, /images/graemlins/grin.gif (ok, fine, maybe not).
So, we hung out and kidded around, made fun of TheUsher and wondered where SkipperBob as I made it *crystal* clear we were to meet up next to the Commerce sandwich place. Of course, his cell phone wasn’t picking up so we realized chances were good he had already done himself in with too much boozing, gamblin’, and belligerentin’, /images/graemlins/mad.gif.
Of course, once we stopped waiting and made our way to find a small NL game to throw our chips around in, we saw him in a semi-conscious state in the middle of the floor. We, or rather he spotted us and started shouting something like ‘Yugo!’ ‘Yugoslavian!’ ‘Pinko commie bastard [censored]!?!?!’ Well, the last one did the trick and we ‘boogied’ over to a 2/3 NL 100 max table to watch Raptor chip dump to the fishies…
No one got the memo that I’m a horrific poker player b/c everyone was respecting my raises and I couldn’t help but steadily gain chips. Raptor, on the other hand, was mixin it up and had already rebought when….the defining hand of the Commerce portion of my trip unfolded:
Raptor is on the button and calls a pre-flop raise of ~15 and there are four to the flop. The flop comes A23 and he immediately puts his hands to his mouth like a little girl, shrieks, and literally jumps out of his chair. After the pre-flop raiser puts in a 25 to 30 bet, Rap composes himself (with hands still at mouth attempting to hide the silly little girl grin) and with as straight a face as he could muster, declares himself ‘all-in.’ Well, luckily for him one of his opponents has *no* idea what a ‘dead-on’ read involves and proceeds to call off all his chips to Raptor’s flopped wheel. I’m not even sure I even bothered to look when Rap’s hand was flipped over since it was so obvious. Oh yeah, I think his opponent had some crap like AT….did I mention Raptor is a luckbox?! /images/graemlins/wink.gif
Okay, so after sensei Irieguy busts and Skipperbob ‘boogies on out’ we’re on our way to Microbet’s house for some serious home-game action. Irieguy in his infinite wisdom gets LOST and has the Skipper and I making all sorts of wacko-jacko 5 point turns on narrow crack-whore streets….thanks Irie!!! /images/graemlins/smile.gif
Microbet’s 2+2 Homegame
When we arrived it was basically us, Micro and some of his non-forum friends. We decided to play a 7 seat STT and Micro won it (home-table advantage of course..he got all the big hands). The next 2+2er to arrive was Vindikation who was quit cool (/images/graemlins/cool.gif) but perhaps a little too into the dog that was hangin’ out (/images/graemlins/shocked.gif). The dog was cool I guess but his eyes were freakin’ me out, man! Then at some point Rohjoh and Rojosox showed up and we had full-on 2+2 action with such games I’ve never ever played making an appearance: Omaha pot/nl, Omaha high-low pot/nl, stud pot/nl, stud high-low pot/nl, pineapple, razz, triple draw lowball, and prolly others I can’t remember. Oh, and later in the night Lacky made a guest appearance via Raptor’s cell phone…he apparently had trouble installing a hard drive and somehow though Rap had any clue about them. I did get to chat with him for a while about a number of profound topics that I couldn’t hear due to the raucous ‘holla-ing’ going on around me. Oh, and he and his wife are expecting a baby any day now…..CONGRATS LACKY!!!! /images/graemlins/smile.gif
Well, suffice it to say I got snookered for the whole $300 I brought with me although I think I did get it in with the best of it several times, of course, who the f*ck knows since I had no idea what was goin’ on half the time /images/graemlins/tongue.gif. Oh, and while SkipperBob hooked up some bomb-ass Heinekens, he still left at like 7pm as he slowly was turning into a pumpkin, /images/graemlins/crazy.gif. I did enjoy it every time he completely ignored Raptor’s opinion on poker matters (i.e. ‘Hey Yugo? I have an important poker question for you and Irie…’ ‘What about me!’ ‘You don’t count Raptor, you can barely dress yourself…get a haircut hippie!’). Oh, and for the record I saw no ‘pussy’ trailing his ‘pussywagon’ at any point during the afternoon/evening/night.
Anyway, Irieguy had to pretty much explain every game we played to the table b/c only he and Raptor generally knew how to even play (Micro knew a few b/c he picked up Super System 2 earlier in the week and read it instead of doing ICM calcs). Rojosox quickly declared pineapple his favorite game ever, /images/graemlins/confused.gif (after getting aces or something his first hand and killing and maiming the table with it). So anyway, we may have played only one hand of Razz b/c Irie assured us it was an ‘old ladies’ game where there was little action and tons of boredom. However, the one hand we played was hall of fame caliber. After he explained the game and we received our cards all betting hell broke loose! I think it was Rojosox, me, Irie and Raptor who basically were all drawing to phat hands. Suffice it to say Mr. Luckbox himself, /images/graemlins/mad.gif, Raptor dragged the huge pot and then proceeded to bust me ,/images/graemlins/mad.gif /images/graemlins/mad.gif, a while later on some fishy suckout – I dunno how he did it but somehow the f*ckin’ decks were rigged!
Oh, and Raptor and I hashed out a ranking system earlier today for the top 5 players in the 2+2 game:
1. Irie/Raptor (guess who Raptor voted for?)
2. Irie/Raptor
3. That asian woman who played near the end of the night
4. Heineken #5 that I drank
5. Empty box of pizza sitting next to Irie
Okay, since I busted my ‘roll’ out a bit early ( /images/graemlins/frown.gif ) and had a vague idea at best what was goin’ on in all those ‘poker’ games we were playing, I’ll let other 2+2ers there elaborate on choice hands/beats/etc.
Stats:
Heinekens consumed: 5+
Pieces of pizza consumed: 3
Money won: -$xxx….good thing I don’t keep stats anymore
Pots the pizza box dragged: 7.8
Times SkipperBob looked like he would pass out: 11
Times Rojosox said pineapple was the greatest ever: 8
Times I got Rohjoh confused with Rojosox: 23
Times someone mentioned Rojosox’ STEP 5 Higher hand: 52
Times Micro tried to convince him the call with 99 ‘might be right depending on genoa_st’s reads: 9
Times Vindikation laughed at my jokes: every time, /images/graemlins/wink.gif
Times Irieguy outplayed Raptor: every time, /images/graemlins/wink.gif
Times Raptor babbled incoherently while swearing: 27, you @#$@#!, !@#$!#@, !@#$@!#$ luckboxes!!!
Yugoslav
PS Too bad GauchoFish/BlindTheif/Degen didn't show.../images/graemlins/grin.gif