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View Full Version : I saw the ex-wifes boyfreind for the first time.


Zoltri
04-30-2005, 05:34 PM
After 3 years of divorce my former wife finally met a guy 6 months ago. It wasn't until yesterday I saw him for the first time when I picked up the kids.

This was probably the most awkward feeling I have ever felt..my ex looked like she wanted to crawl under a rock. Surprisingly, aside from the initial uneasiness of the situation I didn't freak out. For some reason I always thought I would go into some jealous rage. Even my kids who happen to be toddlers could sense something was up.

BTW, I happen to be better looking than this man which made me feel better for some reason. He looked scared to me. I'm glad /images/graemlins/smirk.gif

Still, after a messy divorce and alot of bitter feelings I just can't get past the fact someone else is with her. Why would this bother me since my present common law wife is the type of person I have always wanted to be with and she makes me very happy. Makes no sense.

Non_Comformist
04-30-2005, 05:36 PM
I think it would make no sense if you didn't have that reaction.

Blarg
04-30-2005, 05:41 PM
Since when does love or sex make sense?

Totally natural reaction. Nothing blameworthy in the least. Just part of the foibles of the species.

mason55
04-30-2005, 05:48 PM
I always feel kind of awkward when I meet my gf's ex boyfriends.

pc in NM
04-30-2005, 06:19 PM
Pity the poor fool....

Bluffoon
04-30-2005, 06:39 PM
I dont know man. I pray every day that my ex gets a bf and when (if) she does I am going to give him a great big hug.

JaBlue
04-30-2005, 06:45 PM
Are you saying your gf is loosey goosey?

mason55
04-30-2005, 06:50 PM
[ QUOTE ]
Are you saying your gf is loosey goosey?

[/ QUOTE ]

Change the is to was and there's really not much I can disagree with about your statement. We're about equal though, so it's not like I can say much.

Luv2DriveTT
04-30-2005, 07:32 PM
awkward is good... its natural. Reacting with anger is bad. Glad to see you didn't. I have been both the man and the other man, when you two went your separate ways you had to be prepared for the eventuality to occur. Since he is around your kids I recommend being the bigger person by requesting an official meeting. Its your right to do so... you never know perhaps you will really like the dude and be happy that he is with your ex. Stranger things have happened, it happened to me when I was dating a woman in the process of a divorce. When her ex husband finally met me, he was very happy I was who I am to his child.

TT /images/graemlins/club.gif

bernie
05-01-2005, 12:44 AM
[ QUOTE ]
Why would this bother me since my present common law wife is the type of person I have always wanted to be with and she makes me very happy.

[/ QUOTE ]

If this is true, then why...

[ QUOTE ]
BTW, I happen to be better looking than this man which made me feel better for some reason. He looked scared to me. I'm glad

[/ QUOTE ]

You're right, it makes no sense. Though it is common.

[ QUOTE ]
I just can't get past the fact someone else is with her. Even my kids who happen to be toddlers could sense something was up.


[/ QUOTE ]

This really isn't fair to your ex, your kids or your current g/f. You may need to really go in and talk to someone about it. After 3 years, isn't it time to try and get over her? These feelings would bother me enough to seek some pro help.

b

Dead
05-01-2005, 12:49 AM
[ QUOTE ]
BTW, I happen to be better looking than this man which made me feel better for some reason. He looked scared to me. I'm glad

[/ QUOTE ]

Are you 12?

Matty
05-01-2005, 12:49 AM
[ QUOTE ]
This was probably the most awkward feeling I have ever felt..

[/ QUOTE ]Not as awkward as the two hours I spent hiding in a closet last weekend I'm sure.

AEKDBet
05-01-2005, 05:50 AM
could you take him in a fight

Cyrus
05-01-2005, 02:22 PM
After 6 months of dating a woman who was divorced 3 years ago I finally met her ex.

It wasn't until yesterday I saw him for the first time when he picked up their kids.

This was probably awkward for him. Even his kids who happen to be toddlers could sense something was up. My girlfriend caught on his uneasiness and looked like she wanted to crawl under a rock. As for me, aside from the initial uneasiness of the situation I didn't feel anything much. For some reason I always thought I would go into some comparison trip but I didn't.

BTW, I saw him tuck his belly inside and pump up his muscles like some men do at the beach. He is not bad looking but he kinda looked scared to me. I'm glad. /images/graemlins/smirk.gif

After the messy divorce and what I heard were a lot of bitter feelings between those two, I just can't figure out why he acts like this, 3 whole years after he's moved on and re-married. Why would seeing me with his ex bother the guy so much, especially since his present common-law wife, according to what my girl friend tells me, apparently makes him very happy? Makes no sense.

BeerMoney
05-01-2005, 02:28 PM
[ QUOTE ]
could you take him in a fight

[/ QUOTE ]

Finally someone asks the important question. Zoltri, you need to act like a man and kick this guys ass.

PokerFink
05-01-2005, 02:30 PM
[ QUOTE ]
I always feel kind of awkward when I meet my gf's ex boyfriends.

[/ QUOTE ]

Am I the only one who gets happy when I meet an ex gf's new bf? If only because I know, if I wanted to, I could go up to him and say "I [censored] your gf."

Or, if I wanted to particularly mean, say "I tought your gf that thing you like."

No, I have never actually done this.

Lawrence Ng
05-01-2005, 04:53 PM
[ QUOTE ]

BTW, I happen to be better looking than this man which made me feel better for some reason. He looked scared to me. I'm glad

[/ QUOTE ]

Word.

Lawrence

Richie Rich
05-01-2005, 05:24 PM
[ QUOTE ]
Still, after a messy divorce and alot of bitter feelings I just can't get past the fact someone else is with her. Why would this bother me since my present common law wife is the type of person I have always wanted to be with and she makes me very happy. Makes no sense.

[/ QUOTE ]
It isn't very easy to realize that you were quickly replaced by someone else, who could be better than you in several categories, and that makes you feel (somewhat) inadequate as guy. I'm being 100% serious.

tripdad
05-01-2005, 05:40 PM
nh, you ugly bastard!

goodbye!

Felix_Nietsche
05-01-2005, 06:00 PM
....many times. Occasionally, circumstances dictated that I go with her to drop the kids off for the weekend. Usually, the ex-hubby would either shoot me dirty looks or just give me a passing glance. Almost everytime there was tension between the two exes.... For my part, I really didn't care. Wasn't my business. It was nice to have a weekend with your woman without working around the kid's schedules... I always viewed the kid drop-offs it as free baby sitting...

Sometimes the GF would use me to manipulate her ex. E.g. her ex was not taking his weekends to see his two young sons. As a result these boys were craving male attention and male discipline. I know how to both entertain kids and I also know when to kick them in the a$$. After about three months they were both calling me 'dad'. I thought it was funny and I took it as a compliment. Anyway the GF lets it 'slip' that his boys are calling me 'dad' and then the results were dramatic. After that, he nevered missed a weekend and his two young sons got to see their father regularly and they LOVE IT.

Just hope that if your ex-remarries, that her new hubby can walk the tight rope of being a good step-father and at the same time knowing when to back-off as the role of step-father in favor of the kids dad/mom. My policy was to avoid getting involved in ex versus ex turf battles. But it was also my policy that the kids were going to be well behaved and respectful around me.....and that was non-negotiable.

bernie
05-02-2005, 01:00 AM
I loved cyrus' post!

[ QUOTE ]
It isn't very easy to realize that you were quickly replaced by someone else, who could be better than you in several categories, and that makes you feel (somewhat) inadequate as guy.

[/ QUOTE ]

Shouldn't it be 'replaced by someone else, who could be better than you, for her , in several categories'?

If he's really happy with the other woman, the inadquacy makes no sense. It sounds more like possessive, ego crap. Which, maybe he isn't really totally happy with the other gal and therefore has the deep rooted thoughts that he might've been inadequate. I'll take a guess and say the OP was the dumpee in the situation.

b

Zoltri
05-02-2005, 09:34 AM
[ QUOTE ]
I loved cyrus' post!

[ QUOTE ]
It isn't very easy to realize that you were quickly replaced by someone else, who could be better than you in several categories, and that makes you feel (somewhat) inadequate as guy.

[/ QUOTE ]

Shouldn't it be 'replaced by someone else, who could be better than you, for her , in several categories'?

If he's really happy with the other woman, the inadquacy makes no sense. It sounds more like possessive, ego crap. Which, maybe he isn't really totally happy with the other gal and therefore has the deep rooted thoughts that he might've been inadequate. I'll take a guess and say the OP was the dumpee in the situation.

b

[/ QUOTE ]
You guys are a bunch of useless Dr. Phils. Bernie I have noticed you love dishing out the advice here at 2+2. I know your type, you love to sit back and criticize and yet your own life is as fukked up as they come. Right?

And how was I quickly replaced when it took her nearly 3 years to meet someone. /images/graemlins/confused.gif

My OP was really meant to see if anyone experienced a situation like that. What is wrong with that? Someone mentioned I should pity the fool and that is the absolute truth. My ex-wife is the biggest bitch you will ever meet. My kids and I felt awkward....the sight of seeing her with another man was weird...that's it.

WARNING to other members. Never post personal experiences here. Some of these clowns will take an innocent situation and twist it around only to make themselves feel better about their own pitiful lives.

And that my freinds was my rendition of Dr. Phil.

Felix_Nietsche
05-02-2005, 09:57 AM
....who have little or no life experience is a waste of time.

I understood what you were communicating.

flair1239
05-02-2005, 10:14 AM
[ QUOTE ]
I dont know man. I pray every day that my ex gets a bf and when (if) she does I am going to give him a great big hug.

[/ QUOTE ]

bernie
05-02-2005, 03:32 PM
[ QUOTE ]
I know your type, you love to sit back and criticize and yet your own life is as fukked up as they come. Right?


[/ QUOTE ]

Evidently you don't know my type at all. Im sorry I can't appreciate how great you thought it was that [ QUOTE ]
I happen to be better looking than this man which made me feel better for some reason. He looked scared to me.

[/ QUOTE ]

Grow up.


From OP
[ QUOTE ]
Why would this bother me since my present common law wife is the type of person I have always wanted to be with and she makes me very happy? Makes no sense.


[/ QUOTE ]

I think most of us actually thought this question 'you' asked was in seriousness. Didn't know you were just bragging about how great you must be compared to her new guy in front of your kids.

[ QUOTE ]
Some of these clowns will take an innocent situation and twist it around

[/ QUOTE ]

Be careful what you ask for on a public forum.

Nice troll thread.

b

chaas4747
05-02-2005, 04:09 PM
I am going thru this from an opposite stand point, no kids involved. My girlfriend and I have finally run into her ex-husband. You say this guy is "scared" of you, but I know in my case I am just not confrontational out of respect for what he might be feeling. Bottom line is people move on. It is part of life. Give the guy a chance, he might not be all that bad, and it will definitely make it better for all parties involved.