Drug Tests

[Iplayboard]

I'm a student at Arizona State. My parents might make me get a job this summer. Over the last month I've smoked pot at least 3 or 4 times every week. My record was 9 days straight. I have two weeks until I'm home for the summer, but I still have some weed left and don't want it to go to waste.

How long do I have to stop for in advance of a drug test in order to pass the test? What methods has anyone else used to cheat the test? Thanks everyone.

[Bob Moss]

You can find good information pretty easily through google, but I think it clears out of your body faster than you'd expect, even for a frequent smoker. The important thing to remember is that once you have subjected yourself to the humiliation of a piss test, you are morally obligated to smoke a fattie on the way home.

Bob

[Lazymeatball]

find a job that doesn't require a piss test

[Stu Pidasso]

An old boss of mine told me he filled a condom up with clean pee and shoved it up his ass. When it came time for the test he pulled it out and used that to provide the sample. You only need provide about 200ml and the keeping up the ass keeps it at the require temperature.

Stu

[kurosh]

I'd rather not get the job/be fired than shove a condom full of piss up my ass.

[oljumpstart]

[ QUOTE ]
I'd rather not get the job/be fired than shove a condom full of piss up my ass.

[/ QUOTE ]
Ditto

My brother has used "Carboflush" for the last two summers for his job on a cruise ship, and it worked both times. About $50 at GNC.

[SackUp]

Personally I say sell the weed as I'm not a big fan. However, if you must insist on cheating the test then clearly the Whizzinator is the only option.

This thing is HILARIOUS!! Whizzinator (http://www.whizzinator.com/whiz2.htm)


http://www.whizzinator.com/images/The-Whole-Kit_small.jpg

[bernie]

Golden Seal.

b

[Freakin]

[ QUOTE ]
Personally I say sell the weed as I'm not a big fan. However, if you must insist on cheating the test then clearly the Whizzinator is the only option.

This thing is HILARIOUS!! Whizzinator (http://www.whizzinator.com/whiz2.htm)


http://www.whizzinator.com/images/The-Whole-Kit_small.jpg

[/ QUOTE ]

Tom Sizemore would disagree....

Freakin

[OtisTheMarsupial]

[ QUOTE ]
How long do I have to stop for in advance of a drug test in order to pass the test?

[/ QUOTE ]

30 days to be totally in the clear, but a week or two is often enough.

[ QUOTE ]
What methods has anyone else used to cheat the test?

[/ QUOTE ]

I've been successful by...
drumroll...
applying for jobs that don't require drug tests.

[Freakin]

My friend drank bleach.... i mean, he watered it down, obviously....

Freakin

[touchfaith]

Ok, ok....Enough of the crap suggestions. This is a serious subject.

Go to Test Clear, NORML approved (http://www.testclear.com) and purchase PURINE (http://www.testclear.com/Powdered-Urine-Kit-P13C0.aspx)

This is actual clean, powdered, urine. As you will see from the link, they supply the Powdered Urine, a container and a Boot Warmer to attach to keep it "body temp".

Read it all.

Important things to remember to calm the nerves before going...

- They cannot search you unless you are applying for a goverment or DOD type job (and even then they might not be able too, point being, for 99% of the jobs out there, they cannot)

- They cannot supervisor you. In most cases, if not all, you will be sent to a private bathroom to do your duty. The sinks will be shut-off and the drain blocked. In addition, the toilet will have blue-stuff in it. (But none of this matters, you already have what your giving them)...

- Pay special attention to the Temperture portion of the instuctions! TEMPERTURE IS THE MOST IMPORTANT THING WHEN GIVING THE SAMPLE. Your sample will be automatically rejected, by the attendant, if it either A) Is not above 90 degrees or B) Has gone over 100 degrees. The sample container they will give you has an attached thermometer on it and it is a "check-valve", if at ANY point that meter goes over 100, they will know it immediately and reject your sample.

But don't worry...They PURINE kit's container has one of the same thermometer strips on it and this is why they give you the boot warmer in the kit (to attach and keep it warm while you go to the test). It works remarkably well and you will be happy.

- Never...NEVER give your own piss as a sample. No matter what. If you screw up and do not order the above kit in time (they will even ship same day for a price), POSTPONE your appointment. Tell them you have another appointment, tell them your gay, tell them ANYTHING, but do not give them your own piss because you feel presured...they will wait.

- DO NOT use any of those over-the-counter bull craps. NONE of them work and in EVERY case, simply drinking (a lot) of water will gain you the same results (nothing). NONE OF THEM! No golden this, no ginsing that...NOTHING.


Ok, I think that's it...but make sure you read all the information on that page and feel free to PM me with any questions.

GL

[wacki]

[ QUOTE ]
My friend drank bleach.... i mean, he watered it down, obviously....

Freakin

[/ QUOTE ]

Your friend is a moron.

The info on this page seems legit.

http://my.marijuana.com/4-6b.php3

[Freakin]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
My friend drank bleach.... i mean, he watered it down, obviously....

Freakin

[/ QUOTE ]

Your friend is a moron.

The info on this page seems legit.

http://my.marijuana.com/4-6b.php3

[/ QUOTE ]

He failed. Not because they detected illicit substances, but becasue they basically detected nothing. His urine was stripped of all minerals, and they knew he drank something strong to [censored] up the test.

Freakin

[touchfaith]

PS: Recommended listening while on your way to the test...



The Toys - "(Hey Uncle Sam) Leave Us Pot Smokers Alone"


The murderers keep murderin
The churches keep a burnin
The rapists keep a rapin
And the tide ain't turnin

Uncle Sam for all your power
Things get worse every hour
It seems to me your energies
Are wasted chasin my friends and me

Chorus:
So hey, Uncle Sam
Leave us pot smokers alone
Uncle Sam
Leave us pot smokers alone

The terrorists keep terrorizin
Our leaders keep a lyin
The haters keep a hatin
And the planet's dyin

Uncle Sam, do what's proper
Call off your dogs and your helicopters
The problems of society
Were not caused by my friends and me

Chorus

How many innocent people gonna be imprisoned
We're just peace lovin spleef puffin brotherhood freaks
A touch of Mother Nature never made nobody violent
Never made nobody hate nobody or break nobody's peace

It's never been shown to be harmful don't you tell me no lies
With your caffeine codeine nicotine eyes
The cannabis ban is just recent just since 1938
Relegalize it. Realize it. You made a big mistake

Chorus

/images/graemlins/cool.gif

[trying2learn]

i work at a casino...and they're one of the few companies that do hair tests...but if you do end up having to take one of these, it's a 90 day detection with almost no way of getting around it. normally, blood and urine are clean within a week.

[touchfaith]

[ QUOTE ]
i work at a casino...and they're one of the few companies that do hair tests...but if you do end up having to take one of these, it's a 90 day detection with almost no way of getting around it.

[/ QUOTE ]

Yep. Hair tests will be the way of the future, but fortunately, are too expensive for most companies to justify at this time. Small compaines may never (anytime soon at least) go this way unless the per-test price where to come down under $100 (no time soon).

[ QUOTE ]
normally, blood and urine are clean within a week.

[/ QUOTE ]

Incorrect. THC (pot) is stored in fat cells and detectable for ~30 days.

[trying2learn]

ah...my bad. i had some ecstacy/mushroom days in my past and the research i did normally came up that you could expell it within a week or so for blood/urine. didn't know about the THC difference...all apologies.

[wacki]

[ QUOTE ]
Golden Seal.

b

[/ QUOTE ]

bernie, this stuff is a waste of money.

[SackUp]

This topic actually reminds me of a pretty funny story.

My friend had an interview which he would be drug tested. Well he wasn't saavy enough to use other products, so he went for the old fashion way...using someone else's piss. So he got his roommate to piss for him. Well he did know that it had to be a certain temp so it wouldn't be rejected. So he did all these trial runs warming up the piss and seeing how long it would remain at an acceptable temp. So after enough runs he thought he had it down.

Now the day of the interview comes and my friend has the piss ready to go in his pocket. Well the time comes for the interview and he's all ready to go. So he asks them where he needs to go. And to his shock they say, oh you can just take it right here with us. So my friend is obviously shocked and doen't know wtf is going on. It turns out that this company does a saliva test. So this clown did all this piss work for nothing. I almost died laughing when I heard this.

The kid got the job anyhow, so apparently the company didn't care about weed or something. The dumbass ended up not taking the job anyhow b/c it was going to be "too much work." There's weed at its finest! The guy will spend hours on end trying to beat the system so he can smoke weed, only to give up the job b/c it is too much work.

[Trainwreck]

Find a headshop in your area, they WILL sell what you need. $30 max.

If you decide to DILUTE the whiz with the stuff and/or some liquid's, beware....

One substance will show up WEAK if they test for it, and could cause a retest or failure.
(forgot the name of it, but it's a factor you should cover!)

To combat that: EAT A LOT OF HAMBURGER with 24 hours of the test, and I do not mean going to friggin McD's, buy 2 lbs of it at the grocery store and cook it and eat it.... NO POPPY SEEDED Hamburger BUNS!

If you can't find a mix locally, drink a gallon of grapefruit juice, but you MUST still do the burgers, that's fun though!

The longer you go without the wacky tobaccy beforehand the better.

There are stories of ppl sucking off water fountains right before a test and beating it even though they smoked just 3 hours earlier, I find it hard to believe.

Also, pick up a $10 test yourself kit... That should buy you confidence.

If nothing else, that Whizzanator looks FABULOUS! LMFAO!

THC is 30 days, yup! Cocaine is a lot shorter, so when you MOVE up.... jk

>TW<

[touchfaith]

[ QUOTE ]
Find a headshop in your area, they WILL sell what you need. $30 max.

If you decide to DILUTE the whiz with the stuff and/or some liquid's, beware....

One substance will show up WEAK if they test for it, and could cause a retest or failure.
(forgot the name of it, but it's a factor you should cover!)

To combat that: EAT A LOT OF HAMBURGER with 24 hours of the test, and I do not mean going to friggin McD's, buy 2 lbs of it at the grocery store and cook it and eat it.... NO POPPY SEEDED Hamburger BUNS!

If you can't find a mix locally, drink a gallon of grapefruit juice, but you MUST still do the burgers, that's fun though!

The longer you go without the wacky tobaccy beforehand the better.

There are stories of ppl sucking off water fountains right before a test and beating it even though they smoked just 3 hours earlier, I find it hard to believe.

Also, pick up a $10 test yourself kit... That should buy you confidence.

If nothing else, that Whizzanator looks FABULOUS! LMFAO!

THC is 30 days, yup! Cocaine is a lot shorter, so when you MOVE up.... jk

>TW<

[/ QUOTE ]


Sorry, this is terrible advice. Hamburgers? Are you serious? Sigghhhh.

See my post above.

[Trainwreck]

I clearly explained why the burgers...

Clarify:
It's to put back in your system what diluting WHIZ removes...

Any red meat will do in quantity, just burger meat is cheapest! 8p

I am onto this because my moron cousin had to submit twice a year to his probation officer and was still unable to quit smoking weed.

If he googles this topic I am sure he will eventually stumble onto this info.

>TW<

Found it:

6.1.2 Creatinine level:
> Eating red meat will boost creatinine levels. If you eat a lot of red meat for the 3 days prior to the test, your creatinine level will be normal, and the lab won't know that you've diluted your urine sample.

[Girchuck]

Actually, two weeks sounds about right. If you stop right now, you'll be clean when you get home.

[RicktheRuler]

This can be found pretty easily. But, I can tell you for someone that smokes everyday, multiple times a day, it actually takes quite a while to get the metablites out of your system. Drug tests dont check for THC they check for the metabolites that remain in your system. These cannot be "flushed" out, regardless of what anyone tells you. Your best bet is to quit with sufficient time, exercise and eat properly. FWIW, I have personally used a masking agent call STRIP, it can be bought at GNC, and know of others who have used it (all smoke on a regular basis) and it has worked.

GL.


OMG, i forgot to tell you about SERTO. It works everytime. It is a preservative, it is sold at the grocery store. Take two packages, mix it with cranberry juice, guzzle it and presto youre good to go. The urine may get rejected though, for lack of color, so take some b-12 to add yellow.

[trying2learn]

[ QUOTE ]
This can be found pretty easily. But, I can tell you for someone that smokes everyday, multiple times a day, it actually takes quite a while to get the metablites out of your system. Drug tests dont check for THC they check for the metabolites that remain in your system. These cannot be "flushed" out, regardless of what anyone tells you. Your best bet is to quit with sufficient time, exercise and eat properly. FWIW, I have personally used a masking agent call STRIP, it can be bought at GNC, and know of others who have used it (all smoke on a regular basis) and it has worked.

GL.


OMG, i forgot to tell you about SERTO. It works everytime. It is a preservative, it is sold at the grocery store. Take two packages, mix it with cranberry juice, guzzle it and presto youre good to go. The urine may get rejected though, for lack of color, so take some b-12 to add yellow.

[/ QUOTE ]

I think it's hilarious that the THC smoker makes a post...then says, OMG ...I forgot duuuuude...

genius

[Klepton]

my roomate bought pills at GNC that get rid of it in 3 days...

only problem is, the pills make your body extremely hot, he said he felt like he was on fire, and had to take a cold bath.

the next 2 times he took it, he took sleeping pills and went right to bed, so he wouldn't have to endure the pain.

i'm sure if you go to a GNC type store and tell them you need to "flush your system" or just striaght up say "i need ot pass a drug test" they will give you what you need.

[youngndumb]

Q-Carbo at GNC. Has worked for 10+ people I know including me. Kinda spendy, 60 bucks, but works day after smoking for serious potheads who smoke all day every day. If your thinking a construction type job where they do randoms get an extra bottle and take it with you every day.

[bernie]

[ QUOTE ]
bernie, this stuff is a waste of money

[/ QUOTE ]

I don't know. I know many people who've had success with it.

b

[Thythe]

You think any companies are ultra tricky and would give you a drug test, wait a week or two, and then make you take another one? I took a drug test two weeks ago, heard nothing back (so I assumed that I passed), and am now wondering if I'm in the clear...

[ThaSaltCracka]

[ QUOTE ]
You think any companies are ultra tricky and would give you a drug test, wait a week or two, and then make you take another one? I took a drug test two weeks ago, heard nothing back (so I assumed that I passed), and am now wondering if I'm in the clear...

[/ QUOTE ]you probably didn't pass.

[x2ski]

For everyone talking about just quitting for a week, two weeks, thirty days whatever and you'll be clean, you are incorrect. Especially if you're a regular user.

It largely depends on your physical makeup. Some people you are skinny and have a high metabolism may be able to get away with it in a week or so, but most people aren't that lucky.

I did extensive research into this before applying for jobs after I graduated and decided that I wasn't going to take the risk of relying on any "special formulas", so I decided to quit entirely.

I read somewhere that males who have an extra 20-30 pounds (or more) of fat on them could still test positive after 6 months!

I weighed about 230 at the time (6'3", so I wasn't really a fatty fat-fat, but I had a gut). I bought some THC test strips and quit for 30 days, while exercising regularly. Tried one of the strips... positive. Two more weeks... positive. Another week... positive.

Thank God the job I got didn't require a drug test, but I didn't know that at the time. I think the most frustrating part was weeding out (lol) the jobs that tested from the ones that didn't... Not all of them told you that they tested in the ad.

That didn't make sense to me, 'cause you would think that if they drug-tested, they would want to let people know before wasting everyone's time with interviews and negotiations and such.

[Thythe]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
You think any companies are ultra tricky and would give you a drug test, wait a week or two, and then make you take another one? I took a drug test two weeks ago, heard nothing back (so I assumed that I passed), and am now wondering if I'm in the clear...

[/ QUOTE ]you probably didn't pass.

[/ QUOTE ]

Oh I'm pretty sure I passed. I had quit because I was pretty sure that I'd get drug tested at some point. The last time was probably like 5 or 6 months ago.

[Deftoner]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
You think any companies are ultra tricky and would give you a drug test, wait a week or two, and then make you take another one? I took a drug test two weeks ago, heard nothing back (so I assumed that I passed), and am now wondering if I'm in the clear...

[/ QUOTE ]you probably didn't pass.

[/ QUOTE ]

Oh I'm pretty sure I passed. I had quit because I was pretty sure that I'd get drug tested at some point. The last time was probably like 5 or 6 months ago.

[/ QUOTE ]

No news is good news my friend.

[Thythe]

[ QUOTE ]
No news is good news my friend.

[/ QUOTE ]

That's what I was thinking. I mean it's been two weeks, what in the world could they be waiting for. If I came back in a couple of weeks and talked about how I failed a drug test because they made me take it again, though, I would never live it down.

[BadBoyBenny]

Whatever you do, DON'T ASK THEM IF YOU PASSED OR NOT.

There is a slight chance it could arouse their suspicions.

[Slow Play Ray]

I swear by this stuff (http://www.libertydrugtest.com/liquid.htm). I have used it successfully myself, and know 4 other people who it has worked for as well. You can buy it online, or I have also seen it at Vitamin Shoppe (if that's a chain near you).

Also, my brother-in-law had a surprise test once, and all he had on him was Visine. He remembered reading something, and put a couple drops in his sample. He wound up passing (after smoking daily up to 2 days befoe the test, and admitting to his boss he was probably going to fail - D'OH!). I certainly wouldn't recommend this method though, as long as you have a little time to prepare. But just in case you're ever in a pinch...

Also, make sure it's a piss test. One of my buddies had a hair test, and they took a sample of his armpit har for it. Lucky for him, he was prepared and used the masking shampoo you can buy...

Good luck.

[Stu Pidasso]

[ QUOTE ]
Yep. Hair tests will be the way of the future, but fortunately, are too expensive for most companies to justify at this time. Small compaines may never (anytime soon at least) go this way unless the per-test price where to come down under $100 (no time soon).


[/ QUOTE ]

The reason most companies don't use hair, sweat, or saliva tests is not because of cost, but because their drug test programs are modeled on Federal Drug testing regulations.

SAMHSA is expected to promulgate new rules this month that allow for hair, saliva, sweat, etc to be used in addition to urine in Federally mandated drug tests. When that happens a lot more companies are going to abandon urine testing because it is simply to easy to beat. I suppose a few might keep using urine to screen out the dumbasses who are not smart enough to pass it.

Stu

[Thythe]

[ QUOTE ]
Whatever you do, DON'T ASK THEM IF YOU PASSED OR NOT.

There is a slight chance it could arouse their suspicions.

[/ QUOTE ]

Yeah I definitely wouldn't ask them. Since I hadn't smoked in like 5 months I assumed I passed. I just don't want to smoke like once and then get a call in a week that says I need to take the test again. Am I just being paranoid?

[Stu Pidasso]

[ QUOTE ]
Yeah I definitely wouldn't ask them. Since I hadn't smoked in like 5 months I assumed I passed. I just don't want to smoke like once and then get a call in a week that says I need to take the test again. Am I just being paranoid?

[/ QUOTE ]

Companies get the results of drug test pretty quickly(3 days). What usually takes a long time is the criminal background check, especially if you have lived in several states in the last few years. When I was a hiring manager I have had background checks take up to 8 weeks.

Just call them up to thank them for the opportunity to interview, and then ask them if you got the job.

Stu