11-17-2002, 12:41 PM
The night before attacking Lost Wages the SPM and his red chip army jumped head first into a local four table no limit Hold'em tournament here in the Chicago area. Never jump head first into a tournament, the bump on the head makes you stupid. AQ single suited never considered why the little lady called the five hundred dollar pre flop bet. The fact that she flopped a set of nines never entered the SPM's brain dead head. The ace on the turned let the SPM's ego run amuck. As he checked and called all bets after the flop like a telephone employee (Calling Station).Once again knocked out of a tournament to soon for anyone to even know he was there. /forums/images/icons/mad.gif
During the free Southwest flight to Lost Wages the SPM got a call from Headquarters. The flight was free because daughter number two works for Southwest, where all the seats are first class. "Sir yes Sir!" replied the SPM to the ranking unconscious Officer at Headquarters. "Did you read General Roy West's report on First Contact? "Sir yes Sir!" answered the SPM as the women in the next seat turned to see who the SPM was talking to. "Based on that report what is your game plan?" Headquarters asked. The women in the next seat then asked the flight attendant for a seat change. She must have over heard the two way conversation and wanted to give the SPM some privacy. "Sir, General Roy West's report in the Card Player magazine, indicated jumping into the 10/20 Hold'em battle at the Mirage on First Contact would not be sound military strategy." The SPM's Lost Wages history of First Contact has in the past been underwhelming. Many Chipsters have been lost during First Contact in past Lost Wages road trips. Rushing to soon into the main 10/20 Hold'em battle, while still under the influence of jet lag, and arrival excitement tends to over stimulate the bodies action gland. The action chemicals then overwhelm the Chipster troops and makes their leader kind of stupid. This rush of fuzzy thinking leads to being ambushed by local gorillas, who love capturing out of town Chipsters.
The plane landed safely and immediately the green Presidents began burning holes in the SPM's pocket. He padded them gently and the fire was out for the moment. Tourist leaving Lost Wages were being robbed of their last remaining money by airport one armed bandits. The SPM told his red chip army, still green form the air plain turbulence, "stay alert men, there be robbers among us." The women who switched seats on the plane must have overheard the SPM giving orders to his army. She stepped off of the shuttle to the main airport, deciding to wait for the next shuttle.
The SPM's little brother signed the papers for the Dollar rent-a-car. "Can I add my big brother as a second driver?" He asked the Dollar employee, "Yes" she replied. "May I see a picture ID and a credit card sir" she asked, while looking at the SPM, who was still talking to Headquarters. "I have the ID" replied the SPM, "but the commander and chief Suburban Poker Wife would not allow me to bring a credit card to Lost Wages" A look of relief came over the Dollar employee who wondered who the SPM was talking to..."Sorry sir, no credit card, no driving." The Dollar shuttle arrived and the driver open the shuttle door by hand, then he had to hold the door open so it didn't close and crush some costumer getting on the shuttle bus. Then half way to the rent-a- car parking lot the bus doors opened up by them self and the Dollar bus stopped without warning. The driver looked at us and said, "sorry but the bus won't go while the doors are open." They finally shut and we continued on, the SPM looked at his little brother and said, "I see why they call them selves the Dollar rent-a-car."
We finally arrived at little brothers Vegas Condo, that's right, free living quarters too. We unpacked and then headed for Binion's Horseshoe Casino, home of the World Series of Poker (WSOP). The SPM had never played poker there and wanted to see where the WSOP was played. To say the poker room was underwhelming is an understatement. It's dark, dirty and full of the trailer park local gorillas. We got seats in the 1/5 seven card stud game but were quickly moved to the 4/8 no fold'em Hold'em game. The SPM took a seat, with a gal from Holland on his right and a old local fellow who's hair was longer and messier than any hippies from the 60's, and a face was full of messy wishers and a big ugly un-trimmed mustache. He dressed like the homeless of the world, and was a dead on look-a-like for that dead billionaire Howard H, in his later life. This hygiene challenged rock was about as social able as a rattle snake. He didn't like the SPM's game chatter or his jokes. Finally he had had enough of the SPM's table talk and said, "stop f- --ing talking to me and then moved to another seat next to the SPM's brother, big mistake, no ear rest there either. Little brother and I sent him back to his park bench home with no chips. The Vegas poker god doesn't like it when local gorillas are rude to the tourists. I guess you could say he got a statistical cleansing. We played for about three hours, got a comp, ate and headed for the Bellagio with our pockets a little fatter than we arrived. The dealers at the Bellagio were professional and faster than the speed of light. Afer seeing Vegas dealers it makes the dealers in the Chicago area look like they deal in slow motion. The Bellagio gave us a comp for the next days food frenzy and the SPM started out winning but then lost half of his Binion win in about three hours. A resident of Any2Card Town was winning hand after hand with any two. I've seen that trick before in Chicago. We got back to the condo sometime after midnight or was it early morning I forget, anyway Headquarters called the SPM and said "GOOD JOB, SPM you let your chip army warm up to the Lost Wages action, and tomorrow you can attack the Mirage 10/20 game rested and calm." Little brother looked at the SPM and said, "who the hell are you talking to? /forums/images/icons/confused.gif Go to bed!"
SPM,...Lost Wages part two coming soon to your local 2+2 web site... /forums/images/icons/smile.gif
During the free Southwest flight to Lost Wages the SPM got a call from Headquarters. The flight was free because daughter number two works for Southwest, where all the seats are first class. "Sir yes Sir!" replied the SPM to the ranking unconscious Officer at Headquarters. "Did you read General Roy West's report on First Contact? "Sir yes Sir!" answered the SPM as the women in the next seat turned to see who the SPM was talking to. "Based on that report what is your game plan?" Headquarters asked. The women in the next seat then asked the flight attendant for a seat change. She must have over heard the two way conversation and wanted to give the SPM some privacy. "Sir, General Roy West's report in the Card Player magazine, indicated jumping into the 10/20 Hold'em battle at the Mirage on First Contact would not be sound military strategy." The SPM's Lost Wages history of First Contact has in the past been underwhelming. Many Chipsters have been lost during First Contact in past Lost Wages road trips. Rushing to soon into the main 10/20 Hold'em battle, while still under the influence of jet lag, and arrival excitement tends to over stimulate the bodies action gland. The action chemicals then overwhelm the Chipster troops and makes their leader kind of stupid. This rush of fuzzy thinking leads to being ambushed by local gorillas, who love capturing out of town Chipsters.
The plane landed safely and immediately the green Presidents began burning holes in the SPM's pocket. He padded them gently and the fire was out for the moment. Tourist leaving Lost Wages were being robbed of their last remaining money by airport one armed bandits. The SPM told his red chip army, still green form the air plain turbulence, "stay alert men, there be robbers among us." The women who switched seats on the plane must have overheard the SPM giving orders to his army. She stepped off of the shuttle to the main airport, deciding to wait for the next shuttle.
The SPM's little brother signed the papers for the Dollar rent-a-car. "Can I add my big brother as a second driver?" He asked the Dollar employee, "Yes" she replied. "May I see a picture ID and a credit card sir" she asked, while looking at the SPM, who was still talking to Headquarters. "I have the ID" replied the SPM, "but the commander and chief Suburban Poker Wife would not allow me to bring a credit card to Lost Wages" A look of relief came over the Dollar employee who wondered who the SPM was talking to..."Sorry sir, no credit card, no driving." The Dollar shuttle arrived and the driver open the shuttle door by hand, then he had to hold the door open so it didn't close and crush some costumer getting on the shuttle bus. Then half way to the rent-a- car parking lot the bus doors opened up by them self and the Dollar bus stopped without warning. The driver looked at us and said, "sorry but the bus won't go while the doors are open." They finally shut and we continued on, the SPM looked at his little brother and said, "I see why they call them selves the Dollar rent-a-car."
We finally arrived at little brothers Vegas Condo, that's right, free living quarters too. We unpacked and then headed for Binion's Horseshoe Casino, home of the World Series of Poker (WSOP). The SPM had never played poker there and wanted to see where the WSOP was played. To say the poker room was underwhelming is an understatement. It's dark, dirty and full of the trailer park local gorillas. We got seats in the 1/5 seven card stud game but were quickly moved to the 4/8 no fold'em Hold'em game. The SPM took a seat, with a gal from Holland on his right and a old local fellow who's hair was longer and messier than any hippies from the 60's, and a face was full of messy wishers and a big ugly un-trimmed mustache. He dressed like the homeless of the world, and was a dead on look-a-like for that dead billionaire Howard H, in his later life. This hygiene challenged rock was about as social able as a rattle snake. He didn't like the SPM's game chatter or his jokes. Finally he had had enough of the SPM's table talk and said, "stop f- --ing talking to me and then moved to another seat next to the SPM's brother, big mistake, no ear rest there either. Little brother and I sent him back to his park bench home with no chips. The Vegas poker god doesn't like it when local gorillas are rude to the tourists. I guess you could say he got a statistical cleansing. We played for about three hours, got a comp, ate and headed for the Bellagio with our pockets a little fatter than we arrived. The dealers at the Bellagio were professional and faster than the speed of light. Afer seeing Vegas dealers it makes the dealers in the Chicago area look like they deal in slow motion. The Bellagio gave us a comp for the next days food frenzy and the SPM started out winning but then lost half of his Binion win in about three hours. A resident of Any2Card Town was winning hand after hand with any two. I've seen that trick before in Chicago. We got back to the condo sometime after midnight or was it early morning I forget, anyway Headquarters called the SPM and said "GOOD JOB, SPM you let your chip army warm up to the Lost Wages action, and tomorrow you can attack the Mirage 10/20 game rested and calm." Little brother looked at the SPM and said, "who the hell are you talking to? /forums/images/icons/confused.gif Go to bed!"
SPM,...Lost Wages part two coming soon to your local 2+2 web site... /forums/images/icons/smile.gif