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Sooga
04-27-2005, 10:32 PM
So in this book 'Sex, Drugs & Cocoa Puffs' by Chuck Klosterman (which is just hilarious btw), he includes a list of 23 questions he would ask anyone to see if he could truly love them. I and my friends had varied responses on many of these questions, but we all agreed that questions 1 and 5 by far were the easiest to answer. Questions below (very very long):

The 23 questions I ask everybody I meet in order to decide if I can really love them:

1. Let us assume you met a rudimentary magician. Let us assume he can do five simple tricks - he can pull a rabbit out of his hat, he can make a coin disappear, he can turn the ace of spades into the Joker card, and two others in a similar vein. These are his only tricks and he can't learn any more; he can only do these five. HOWEVER, it turns out he's doing these five tricks with real magic. It’s not an illusion; he can actually conjure the bunny out of the ether and he can move the coin through space. He’s legitimately magical, but extremely limited in scope and influence. Would this person be more impressive than Albert Einstein?

2. Let us assume a fully grown, completely healthy Clydesdale horse has his hooves shackled in the ground while his head is held in place with thick rope. He is conscious and standing upright, but completely immobile. And let us assume that – for some reason – every political prisoner on earth (as cited by Amnesty International) will be released from captivity if you can kick this horse to death in less than twenty minutes. You are allowed to wear steel-toed boots. Would you do this?

3. Let us assume there are two boxes on a table. In one box, there is a relatively normal turtle; in the other, Adolf Hitler’s skull. You have to select one of these items for your home. If you select the turtle, you can’t give it away and you have to keep it alive for two years; if either of these parameters are not met, you will be fined $999 by the state. If you select Hitler’s skull, you are required to display it in a semi-prominent location in your living room for the same amount of time, although you will be paid a stipend of $120 per month for doing so. Display of the skull must be apolitical. Which option do you select?

4. Genetic engineers at Johns Hopkins University announce that they have developed a so-called “super gorilla.” Though the animal cannot speak, it has a sign language lexicon of over twelve thousand words, an I.Q. of almost 85, and – most notably – a vague sense of self-awareness. Oddly, the creature (who weighs seven hundred pounds) becomes fascinated by football. The gorilla aspires to play the game at its highest level and quickly develops the rudimentary skills of a defensive end. ESPN analyst Tom Jackson speculates that this gorilla would be “borderline unblockable” and would likely average six sacks a game (although Jackson concedes the beast might be susceptible to counters and misdirection plays.) Meanwhile, the gorilla has made it clear he would never intentionally injure any opponent. You are the commissioner of the NFL: Would you allow this gorilla to sign with the Oakland Raiders?

5. You meet your soul mate. However there is a catch: Every three years, someone will break both of your soul mate’s collarbones with a Crescent wrench, and there is only one way you can stop this from happening: You must swallow a pill that will make every song you hear – for the rest of your life – sound as if it’s being performed by the band Alice in Chains. When you hear Creedence Clearwater Revival on the radio, it will sound (to your ears) like it’s being played by Alice in Chains. If you see Radiohead live, every one of their tunes will sound like it’s being covered by Alice in Chains. When you hear a commercial jingle on TV, it will sound like Alice in Chains; if you sing to yourself in the shower, your voice will sound like deceased Alice vocalist Layne Staley performing a capella (but It will only sound this way to you). Would you swallow the pill?

6. At long last, someone invents “the dream VCR.” This machine allows you to tape an entire evening’s worth of dreams, which you can then watch at your leisure. However, the inventor of the dream VCR will only allow you to use this device if you agree to a strange caveat: When you watch your dreams, you must do so with your family and your closest friends in the same room. They get to watch your dreams along with you. And if you don’t agree to this, you can’t use the dream VCR. Would you still do this?

7. Defying all expectation, a group of Scottish marine biologists capture a live Loch Ness Monster. In an almost unbelievable coincidence, a bear hunter in the Pacific Northwest shoots a Sasqautch in the thigh, thereby allowing zoologists to take the furry monster into captivity. These events happen in the same afternoon. That evening, the president announces he may have thyroid cancer and will undergo a biopsy later that week. You are the front-page editor of The New York Times: What do you play as the biggest story?

8. You meet the perfect person. Romantically, this person is ideal: You find them physically attractive, intellectually stimulating, consistently funny, and deeply compassionate. However, they have one quirk: This individual is obsessed with Jim Henson’s gothic puppet fantasy The Dark Crystal. Beyond watching it on DVD at least once a month, he/she peppers casual conversation with Dark Crystal references, uses Dark Crystal analogies to explain everyday events, and occasionally likes to talk intensely about the film’s “deeper philosophy.” Would this be enough to stop you from marrying this individual?

9. A novel titled Interior Mirror is released to mammoth commercial success (despite middling reviews). However, a curious social trend emerges: Though no one can prove a direct scientific link, it appears that almost 30% of the people who read this book immediately become homosexual. Many of these newfound homosexuals credit the book for helping them reach this conclusion about their orientation, despite the fact that Interior Mirror is ostensibly a crime novel with no homoerotic content (and was written by a straight man). Would this phenomenon increase (or decrease) the likelihood of you reading this book?

10. This is the opening line of Jay McInerney’s Bright Lights, Big City: “You are not the kind of guy who would be in a place like this at this time of the morning.” Think about that line in the context of the novel (assuming you’ve read it). Now go to your CD collection and find Heart’s Little Queen album (assuming you own it). Listen to the opening riff to “Barracuda.” Which of these two introductions is a higher form of art?

11. You are watching a movie in a crowded theater. Though the plot is mediocre, you find yourself dazzled by the special effects. But with twenty minutes left in the film, you are struck with an undeniable feeling of doom: You are suddenly certain your mother has just died. There is no logical reason for this to be true, but you are certain of it. You are overtaken with the irrational metaphysical sense that – somewhere – your mom has just perished. But this is only an intuitive, amorphous feeling; there is no evidence for this, and your mother has not been ill. Would you immediately exit the theater, or would you finish watching the movie?

12. You meet a wizard in downtown Chicago. The wizard tells you he can make you more attractive if you pay him money. When you ask how this process works, the wizard points to a random person on the street. You look at this random stranger. The wizard says, “I will now make them a dollar more attractive.” He waves his magic wand. Ostensibly, this person does not change at all; as far as you can tell, nothing is different. But – somehow – this person is suddenly a little more appealing. The tangible difference is invisible to the naked eye, but you can’t deny that this person is vaguely sexier. The wizard has a weird rule though – you can only pay him once. You can’t keep giving him money until you’re satisfied. You can only pay him one lump sum up front. How much cash do you give the wizard?

13. Every person you have ever slept with is invited to a banquet where you are the guest of honor. No one will be in attendance except you, the collection of your former lovers, and the catering service. After the meal, you are asked to give a fifteen-minute speech to the assembly. What do you talk about?

14. For reasons that cannot be explained, cats can suddenly read at a twelfth-grade level. They can’t talk and they can’t write, but they can read silently and understand the text. Many cats love this new skill, because they now have something to do all day while they lay around the house; however a few cats become depressed, because reading forces them to realize the limitations of their existence (not to mention the utter frustration of being unable to express themselves). This being the case, do you think the average cat would enjoy Garfield, or would cats find this cartoon to be an insulting caricature?

15. You have a brain tumor. Though there is no discomfort at the moment, this tumor would unquestionably kill you in six months. However, your life can (and will) be saved by an operation; the only downside is that there will be a brutal incision to your frontal lobe. After the surgery, you will be significantly less intelligent. You will still be a fully functioning adult, but you will be less logical, you will have a terrible memory, and you will have little ability to understand complex concepts or difficult ideas. The surgery is in two weeks. How do you spend the next 14 days?

16. Someone builds an optical portal that allows you to see a vision of your own life in the future (it’s essentially a crystal ball that shows a randomly selected image of what your life will be like in 20 years). You can only see into this portal for 30 seconds. When you finally peer into the crystal, you see yourself in a living room, two decades older than you are today. You are watching a Canadian football game, and you are extremely happy. You are wearing a CFL jersey. Your chair is surrounded by books and magazines that promote the Canadian Football League, and there are CFL pennants covering your walls. You are alone in the room, but you are gleefully muttering about historical moments in Canadian football history. It becomes clear that – for some unknown reason – you have become obsessed with Canadian football. And this future is static and absolute; no matter what you do, this future will happen. The optical portal is never wrong. This destiny cannot be changed. The next day, you are flipping through random television channels and randomly come across a preseason CFL game between the Toronto Argonauts and the Saskatchewan Roughriders. Knowing your inevitable future, do you now watch it?

17. You are sitting in an empty bar (in a town you’ve never before visited), drinking Bacardi with a soft-spoken acquaintance you barely know. After an hour, a third individual walks into the tavern and sits by himself, and you ask your acquaintance who the new man is. “Be careful of that guy,” you are told. “He is a man with a past.” A few minutes later, a fourth person enters the bar; he also sits alone. You ask your acquaintance who this new individual is. “Be careful of that guy, too,” he says. “He is a man with no past.” Which of these two people do you trust less?

18. You have won a prize. The prize has two options, and you can choose either (but not both). The first option is a year in Europe with a monthly stipend of $2,000. The second option is 10 minutes on the moon. Which option do you select?

19. Your best friend is taking a nap on the floor of your living room. Suddenly, you are faced with a bizarre existential problem: This friend is going to die unless you kick them (as hard as you can) in the rib cage. If you don’t kick them while they slumber, they will never wake up. However, you can never explain this to your friend; if you later inform them that you did this to save their life, they will also die from that. So you have to kick a sleeping friend in the ribs, and you can’t tell them why. Since you cannot tell your friend the truth, what excuse will you fabricate to explain this (seemingly inexplicable) attack?

20. For whatever the reason, two unauthorized movies are made about your life. The first is an independently released documentary, primarily comprised of interviews with people who know you and bootleg footage from your actual life. Critics are describing the documentary as “brutally honest and relentlessly fair.” Meanwhile Columbia Tri-Star has produced a big-budget biopic of your life, casting major Hollywood stars as you and all your acquaintances; though the movie is based on actual events, screenwriters have taken some liberties with the facts. Critics are split on the artistic merits of this fictionalized account, but audiences love it. Which film would you be most interested in seeing?

21. Imagine you could go back to the age of five and relive the rest of your life, knowing everything that you know now. You will reexperience your entire adolescence with both the cognitive ability of an adult and the memories of everything you’ve learned from having lived your life personally. Would you lose your virginity earlier or later than you did the first time around (and by how many years)?

22. You work in an office. Generally, you are popular with your coworkers. However, you discover that there are currently two rumors circulating in the office gossip mill, and both involve you. The first rumor is that you got drunk at the office holiday party and had sex with one of your married coworkers. This rumor is completely true, but most people don’t believe it. The second rumor is that you have been stealing hundreds of dollars of office supplies (and then selling them to cover a gambling debt). This rumor is completely false, but virtually everyone assumes it is factual. Which of these two rumors is most troubling to you?

23. Consider this possibility:
a. Think about deceased TV star John Ritter.
b. Now, pretend Ritter had never become famous. Pretend he was never affected by the trappings of fame, and try to imagine what his personality would have been like.
c. Now, imagine that this person – the unfamous John Ritter – is a character in a situation comedy.
d. Now, you are also a character in this sitcom, and the unfamous John Ritter character is your sitcom father.
e. However, this sitcom is actually your real life. In other words, you are living inside a sitcom: Everything about your life is a construction, featuring the unfamous John Ritter playing himself (in the role of your TV father). But this is not a sitcom. This is your real life. How would you feel about this?

spamuell
04-27-2005, 10:34 PM
I haven't read them all yet but you don't think number 2 is easy?

istewart
04-27-2005, 10:36 PM
Great book.

Sooga
04-27-2005, 10:37 PM
Well that one is easy now that I look at it because of the political prisoner standpoint, which I don't really care about, but if you change it to some other group of people I could see my answer being different.

spamuell
04-27-2005, 10:40 PM
[ QUOTE ]
Well that one is easy now that I look at it because of the political prisoner standpoint, which I don't really care about, but if you change it to some other group of people I could see my answer being different.

[/ QUOTE ]

It's easy for me because it's incredibly important that political prisoners are freed. But I won't elaborate in this forum and I hate the politics one so I just won't.

jakethebake
04-27-2005, 10:41 PM
[ QUOTE ]
Great book.

[/ QUOTE ]

But did he have to post the whole book?

spamuell
04-27-2005, 10:47 PM
Wow some of these are hilarious.

nothumb
04-27-2005, 11:12 PM
1. More interesting but less important. And it would get old quick. I'd take Einstein.

2. Mr Ed would be my bitch.

3. Der Fuhrer.

4. No, because I hate the Raiders.

5. Ok, broken collarbones aren't really that bad. If it was arms, I could see doing this. But even then it's close. Sorry sweetheart.

6. No feckin way.

7. Nessie.

8. This question is contradictory; it is simply impossible that I would be in love with this person. I would definitely hit it though.

9. This is a really interesting phenomenon, but you haven't had time to evaluate it, or see the long-term effects on these people. Being cautious I would avoid it. And despite the amount of time I spend trying to get you guys to stop calling things 'gay,' I would personally prefer to have kids.

10. It's a push.

11. Leave and wait for the DVD.

12. Does this make you more attractive only to you? Or to everyone? There are too many unknowns here, and I'm poor. So I would gauge the effect on the person I saw, probably end up giving him whatever I had on me (which wouldn't be much).

13. Something they all hate, like baseball.

14. WGAF?

15. Destroying any evidence of how smart I was.

16. Why fight it?

17. The man with no past. Less predictable.

18. Europe, not close.

19. I'll pretend someone told me he screwed my girlfriend.

20. My head says the documentary, my dick says the Bruckheimer.

21. I would say around the same time, because I like how I turned out. But I know I won't turn out that way, and I also know I missed out on a lot of really cute girls that I was too shy to hit on between the ages of 12 and 16. So I'd be balls deep in somebody as soon as the hair sprouted.

22. The stealing one. I wouldn't want anyone to think I suck at cards.

23. Terrible. Awful. Very bad.

NT

YourFoxyGrandma
04-27-2005, 11:14 PM
[ QUOTE ]
Great book.

[/ QUOTE ]

EDIT: Also, I can't believe you took the time to type all of that.

KingOtter
04-27-2005, 11:14 PM
I have a hard enough time dealing with real life, without having to make up more hard decisions for me to make.

KO

MrFeelNothin
04-27-2005, 11:16 PM
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Well that one is easy now that I look at it because of the political prisoner standpoint, which I don't really care about, but if you change it to some other group of people I could see my answer being different.

[/ QUOTE ]

It's easy for me because it's incredibly important that political prisoners are freed. But I won't elaborate in this forum and I hate the politics one so I just won't.

[/ QUOTE ]

I don't think I could kick any living creature to death, especially when they are bound, helpless to fight back. No matter the good that would come of it, I don't have it in me.

MrFeelNothin
04-27-2005, 11:20 PM
[ QUOTE ]
1. More interesting but less important. And it would get old quick. I'd take Einstein.


[/ QUOTE ]

Don't you think that all of scientific discoveries that Einstein made would have eventually been made regardless?

RunDownHouse
04-27-2005, 11:20 PM
No way could I kick a healthy, standing Clydesdale to death in 20 minutes. Unpossible.

nothumb
04-27-2005, 11:26 PM
[ QUOTE ]
No way could I kick a healthy, standing Clydesdale to death in 20 minutes. Unpossible.

[/ QUOTE ]

Break the front two legs and this is pretty easy. You're not thinking about this clearly at all. Also, if you just did a flying kick into its side with all your weight, it would collapse sideways.

I would guess I could do this in under 2 mins if necessary, but I haven't thought that hard about it.

NT

Sooga
04-27-2005, 11:36 PM
Wasn't too bad with OCR software.

Sooga
04-27-2005, 11:39 PM
[ QUOTE ]

18. Europe, not close.


[/ QUOTE ]

It's funny you say this... my two friends said moon, and not close, reason being that how often do you get a chance to go to the moon? You can go to Europe pretty much whenever you want.

nothumb
04-27-2005, 11:50 PM
[ QUOTE ]
You can go to Europe pretty much whenever you want.

[/ QUOTE ]

Maybe YOU can, it would cause serious hardship for me. I would think the moon was cool, but I doubt it would be worth giving up a couple years of doing awesome stuff that I have always wanted to do but probably won't have the chance to while still in my 20's.

NT

RunDownHouse
04-27-2005, 11:50 PM
OK, looks like list format is the way to go.

1. Yes, more impressive than Einstein. Einstein wasn't unique in the sense of being utterly alien to the rest of humanity; he was simply... a little more... than anyone else, and in only one regard. Someday somebody will come along that will top Einstein. I can't say the same about a real-life frickin magician.

2. As I stated, I don't think its physically possible for me to do that. I'd have to be a cheerleader or stripper or something to even get my foot that high, let alone up there with any force. I'd have to eyeball it, but I'm not sure I'd even try.

3. Hitler. I've always thought it would be interesting and slightly amusing to have a giant, full wall mural of Tupac in my living room, just to spark conversation and get reactions (I'm very much white). Same type of thing.

4. No. No go-rill-a in my NFL. This would only bring us one step closer to the realization of the "Air Bud" movies, which would be tragic.

5. I'll take AIC for $100, Alex. I don't mind the band, but more to the point of the exercise is that for my soul mate, with all that that usually implies, I'd sacrifice the enjoyment of music for her pain.

6. Nope, no dream VCR for me. I don't mind not knowing, and it could reveal thoughts about people about which I'd rather they remain clueless.

7. Clearly, I'd run a story about the President being an alien or a robot, whichever would be easiest to pin on him. If I really have to choose between one of the options given, I'd take Bigfoot, because Harry and the Hendersons was awesome.

8. No. I'm not this petty, I don't think. It would be almost like me always bugging my girlfriend by telling her poker stuff or her bugging me with HGTV stuff. How bad could it be?

9. No way do I read that book. The implication is that people are somehow being persuaded that they are gay. I'd rather take it up the pooper because I had an epiphany on my own, thanks.

10. Don't have the book, have the album. I'd still go with the book, since I think the written word is more expressive than an instrument.

11. Go check up on moms. How am I supposed to enjoy the movie if I'm obsessing about her death?

12. I'd give him a $50, I think. What am I, poor?

13. Myself, naturally. Thinking about past relationships, I can really see where I was being immature, or unfair, or impatient, or whatever. Not that I was always at fault, but I'd like to talk about how I'd improved as a person, and thank them for helping me along the way. By the way, can we specifically exclude the current girlfriend from this dinner? She'd flip, and also probably have to sit at a table way in the back.

14. Insulting. Even the slowest human finds Garfield insulting and unamusing. This goes double since the cats are reading at a 12th grade level.

15. I'd spend those two weeks doing things like bookmarking webpages, programming my TV, organizing meals by day, you know, making my daily routine dirt simple. If Chuck expects me to say I'd spend it gathering all the wisdom of Earth and trying to achieve enlightenment in that short time, forget it. I'd rather spend it enjoying my current life and simplifying my future one.

16. Hell no. It looks like I'll have plenty of time for CFL in the future, no need to waste my life now.

17. I trust the man with a past less. The man with no past may be good, bad, whatever, but I KNOW the man with a past isn't deserving of my trust. The devil you know versus the one in the bush, and all that.

18. 10 minutes on the moon. One day I'll be able to experience Europe in a much better fashion than a measly $2k/month. I can't say the same about the moon. Plus, all that NASA training, like the spinny thing, and the gyro thing. Awesome.

19. I immediately fall over my friend, say a bee was coming after me, and I tripped over him. Any excuse you give here is going to be lame.

20. I'd rather see the indy film. Self-awareness is maybe the most important trait (skill?) one can develop, and any help in doing so is more welcome than a more fictional Hollywood flick (which would probably star Jason Alexander in any case).

21. Earlier, by maybe as much as 3 years (18 to 15). Not only would it be easier for me to accomplish, but I wouldn't think it was such a big deal. Because its not. Unless you're 40.

22. The one about adultery. First, cheating on one's SO is something that I take that seriously, more seriously than petty theft. Two, since that one is actually true, it could conceivably be proven, or I might be forced to admit it, or something. The unfounded rumor is just that, so I'd be less worried about it.

23. I guess happy? I never thought that much of John Ritter (seriously, I never heard his name mentioned more than once a year before he died; now there's no escaping him), but he seemed like a happy, funny guy. I wouldn't be moping around all day saying, "Boy, how much does it suck that my dad is like THIS." I just don't get this question.

Chuck, will you marry me?

RunDownHouse
04-27-2005, 11:55 PM
RE: the horse.

It says that the horse's head is held firmly in place, that its hooves are shackled into the ground, and that its completely immobile. I took that to mean that I couldn't buckle its legs or tip it over. Given that context, do you still try to kick it? Those things stand like 7 feet at the shoulder.

And try to think about this a little more deeply. Clearly, if it was easy to kill the horse under the given parameters, the choice would be much easier. But Chuck isn't looking for easy answers, presumably.

nothumb
04-28-2005, 12:02 AM
If the head is held that firmly in place you may be able to break the neck. Also, hard to say if you can ONLY kick, or if that's just the most obvious tool he gives you.

I dunno, I've got a very strong kick, I think it could still be done, but it would be grisly. Does the horse have to die within the 20 minutes, or can it die later of injuries sustained?

NT

nothumb
04-28-2005, 12:04 AM
[ QUOTE ]
And try to think about this a little more deeply. Clearly, if it was easy to kill the horse under the given parameters, the choice would be much easier. But Chuck isn't looking for easy answers, presumably.

[/ QUOTE ]

No, I know this. I'm saying that I've got a very strong will and if I knew the benefits of this situation I could force myself to do it. Also I think I'm physically capable.

The question, though, is also who gets defined as a political prisoner. For instance, people who legitimately organized suicide bombings, do they get out with the innocent? I would guess that the ratio of innocent to guilty is off the charts though.

NT

Happy Hour
04-28-2005, 12:26 AM
1. Yes. Way more.

2.Answer would be too long.

3. Hitler's skull

4.The ratings would be great, but I don't think the gorilla should be allowed to play.

5.Alice in Chains isn't that bad. Besides, most of my favorite music is instumental.

6.Nope. Don't want anyone seeing my dreams.

7.Sasquatch. The Sasquatch and Loch Ness monster are far bigger stories than the president, and Bigfoot gets the edge because he is more local.

8.No, I would still marry her. (If I believed in marriage, that is).

9.Sure, I read it to see what the deal is.

10. Bright Lights, Big City.

11.Good grief, go call my mom. That's what DVDs are for.

12.Great question. $11

13.Answer would be too long and none of your business.

14.I think it would piss off cats to read it and not be able to comment on it.

15.Eh, more like, how will I spend the next six months?

16.No. Football is boring. If I am destined to be struck by some horrible misfortune that turns me into a football fan, I will put it off as long as I can.

17.Bacardi? What happened to my sense of taste? Who do I trust less? With what? Taking the question at face value, I would be more likely to trust the man with a past.

18.Europe. Ain't no hot girls on the moon.

19.Sorry about the broken ribs, man. There was like, a giant spider about to bite your face, really!

20.I already know what my actual life is like, I would want to see how Columbia Tri-Star butchered it. They would have had to take some really big liberties to get audiences to like it. (And who they cast as me. I'm thinking Leo DiCaprio.)

21.You mean I can live my life over and change things and I'm concerned about my virginity? That would be among the least of my concerns. But I think when I lost it was fine.

22.Hmm drinker and womanizer or thief and degenerate gambler. Tough choice. What kind of dumb question is this? Besides, screw them. If they are such that they gossip and believe rumors, then I don't really give a fig for their opinions.

23.What? John Ritter is my dad? Ok.

Sooga
04-28-2005, 12:31 AM
[ QUOTE ]

18.Europe. Ain't no hot girls on the moon.


[/ QUOTE ]

True.... but think of how many chicks you could pick up with a great conversation starter like 'so... you ever been on the moon?'

Stuey
04-28-2005, 12:57 AM
2 I would mention

9. I would read it. Right now what do they say? 10% are gay right? Well after the book it looks like 30% were really gay. I don't think I am gay before this book and nothing has changed so I read it. If I was wrong and I am gay my world is not crushed. Every gay person I know is just as happy as the straight ones. Life would go on I'm sure. If I find out I am not gay I recite quotes from the book to guys I hate. And maybe to girls who turn me down, I gota think on this however.

13. I say "I always wanted to see the super dome and thanks for the last supper ladies. But I think you have underestimated how many of these fine working ladies will protect their best John." I'm sure my excessive tipping and the respect I showed these street walkers will save my hide here.

Josh W
04-28-2005, 01:12 AM
1.) More IMPRESSIVE? Uh, no. Since he's limited and can't learn anymore, it's not ABILITY, it's just a lucky turn of events for him. It's like asking if Gheorge Muresan is more impressive than, say, Magic Johnson. No, he's more freakish, for sure, though.

2.) If I knew to a very high certainty taht I could kill the horse, buh bye. If not, nope. Oh, and it would also depend on who's on the list.

3.) Turtle. $999 ain't that much.

4.) Nope. NFL is for humans. No matter how human-like a gorilla is, it's still a gorilla.

5.) Almost definitely swallow the pill. The only thing that makes it close is my soulmate is a damn good singer, and I'd miss hearing her sing.

6.) "still"? Uh, I wouldn't in the first place. I don't think anything good can come of remember dreams. I'll just live my life, thanks.

7.) President.

8.) I do not think I'd marry this person.

9.) the pre-existing likelihood is damn near 0% anyways, so um, neither.

10.) dunno either.

11.) leave

12.) $0.00. Appearance don't matter.

13.) Sleep with or had sex with? Two very very very different questions.

14.) Interesting.

15.) Trying to teach people how to be smart.

16.) Because I'm alone in the room, I assume CFL isn't popular. As such, I delay the inevitable and unpopularity of it all for as long as possible and watch SportsNight instead.

17.) No past.

18.) 10 minutes on the moon for a few reasons. Not the least of which is "I get to get back to my life sooner"

19.) I'd say "it just seemed like the thing to do". When he questions wtf I mean by that, I'd elaborate by saying "Why do you think???...I tripped?!?!" I have a tough time lying.

20.) I'd be slightly more interested in the slightly ficticious one. I know how the other story ends up.

21.) Same.

22.) The first one bothers me more cuz it's true. I don't care if people wanna believe lies.

23.) Because my Dad was, to me, about the best damn Dad ever, I'd feel like I'm missing out greatly by having Mr. Ritter as my pa.

Fewer than 5 of these were really tricky at all.

Josh

Sooga
04-28-2005, 01:20 AM
[ QUOTE ]

13.) Sleep with or had sex with? Two very very very different questions.


[/ QUOTE ]

Uh, what?

Victor
04-28-2005, 01:44 AM
1. i go einstein.

2. i guess id kill the horse. can i just have a gun.

3. hitler is far more +ev.

4. um no.

5. haha. sure for my soulmate.

6. i dont even want myself to watch my dreams.

7. gotta go with the loch ness monster.

8. i could deal.

9. ahahaha. i wouldnt read if but not for fear of gayness. i just arent interested in crime books. if i was interested in a diff book with the same effects i would read it.

10. cant comment

11. finish the movie.

12. hahahaha. i give him whatever is in my pocket. i mean, thats not that much money really. assuming i have 100k in my pocket i would give him like 5 max.

13. hahahaha. poker.

14. they would certainly be insulted by it. their depression due to limitations indicates that they have this sort of awareness.

15. high stakes poker.

16. no. unless i want to.

17. i trust them equally. however, if i knew the man with the past's past then i would trust him more because it would be easier to anticipate his actions and motivations.

18. moon and this one is not close at all. this is by far the easiset.

19. hahaha. say u tripped.

20. the documentary.

21. hahaha. earlier by 3 years.

22. the second by far. i win at gambling. furthermore, we can assume that i (or u) read 2+2 all day at work.

23. i would certainly feel used if ppl were watching my life on tv for leisure.

gawd. that was long.

Josh W
04-28-2005, 02:21 AM
In college, I slept with a bunch of girls that I never fooled around with. I won't name names here, since we went to the same college.

So, does the original question mean people you've SLEPT with, or people you've had SEX with? It's a very different group of people.

Josh

Josh W
04-28-2005, 02:25 AM
Awww, dammit. I just reread the question. he initially says "slept with", but then lists the audience and calls them "former lovers", so he must mean had sex with, not 'slept with'.

in that case, I'd talk about music, and all it can do.

Josh