X and by X I mean Y

[jason_t]

"She gave me a handjob and by gave me a handjob I mean we didn't make out and I went home and jerked off."---close friend

What's the funniest of these "X and by X I mean Y" (ripped off from SNL) that you've heard?

[private joker]

Some can help me with this -- but it was a Simpsons quote from either Lionel Hutz or Krusty, I believe, who said something like "I accidentally injured her dog, and by 'accidentally' I mean 'repeatedly ran over,' and by 'dog' I mean 'ex-husband.'"

I totally butchered that, but someone here knows the exact wording. And it's probably in the thread about Simpsons quotes. Good stuff, though.

[GrekeHaus]

"Well, he's kind of had it in for me, since I accidently ran over his dog. Actually, replace `accidently' with `repeatedly', and replace `dog' with `son'."

[sfer]

It involves Bison, bakku, Asians, and fire death explosions.

[Vince Young]

None are very funny.

[brettbrettr]

This is admittedly a varient. It was also posted yesterday in the Simpsons thread....

Hutz: Oh no, we've drawn Judge Snyder.
Marge: Is that bad?
Hutz: Well, he's has it in for me ever since I kinda ran over his dog.
Marge: You did?
Hutz: Well, replace the word 'kinda' with 'repeatedly' and the word 'dog' with 'son'.

[i wanna be me]

similar:

Peter: I know how to handle this - I read a book about it once.
Brian: Are you sure it was a book.....are you sure it wasn't....nothing?!?
Peter: .....oh yeah.....

[blindu]

[ QUOTE ]
"I accidentally injured her dog, and by 'accidentally' I mean 'repeatedly ran over,' and by 'dog' I mean 'ex-husband.'"


[/ QUOTE ]

close. this is when lionel is talking to marge about the judge.

"I accidentally ran over his dog. And by "accidentally", i mean "repeatedly-ran-over", and by "dog", i mean "son".

[daryn]

from futurama:

fry: that could be MY beautiful soul sitting naked on her couch! if i could just learn to play this stupid thing.

bender: oh but you can. though you may have to metaphorically make a deal with the devil... and by devil, i mean robot devil... and by metaphorically, i mean get your coat.

[Asufiji2004]

Last night I went to a party got totally effed up and had sex with a really hot girl and by totally effed up I mean sober and by really hot girl I mean fat chick.

[spamuell]

[ QUOTE ]
from futurama:

fry: that could be MY beautiful soul sitting naked on her couch! if i could just learn to play this stupid thing.

bender: oh but you can. though you may have to metaphorically make a deal with the devil... and by devil, i mean robot devil... and by metaphorically, i mean get your coat.

[/ QUOTE ]

haha that is possibly my favourite episode.