Baby jokes, funny or evil?

[The Truth]

You know the jokes im talking about... like
Whats the difference in a 2004 lincoln navigator and a pile of dead babies?
I dont have a 2004 lincoln navigator in my garage.

I'll reveal results and my analysis later.

[Piz0wn0reD!!!!!!]

whats more fun than nailing a baby to a tree?


<font color="white"> Pulling it off. </font>

[cnfuzzd]

Whats red and crawls up your leg?

(very bad horrific answer in white)

<font color="white"> a homesick abortion </font>

see, im going to hell.

peace

john nickle

[Ianco15]

What's more disgusting than 8 dead babies in a trash can?


1 dead baby in 8 trash cans.

[istewart]

They're not really ever funny. They're just so random that you can occasionally smirk.

[sublime]

anything that isnt intended to hurt somebody specific is ok in my book /images/graemlins/smile.gif

[Ianco15]

How many dead babies does it take to shingle your house?


Depends on how thin you slice them.

[The Truth]

I was lauging at loud by the end of the few i read. john nickle rules.

[Talk2BigSteve]

How do you stop a baby from crawling in circles?

Nail his other hand to the floor.

Big Steve /images/graemlins/cool.gif

[jack spade23]

How do you make a baby shake?


well, you'll need a blender and some milk.....


Whats the difference between a pile of bowling balls and a pile of dead babies?

you cant move a pile of bowling balls w/ a pitchfork.

[cnfuzzd]

hum,,,

Not so much *dead* baby jokes, but good times nonetheless

Whats the best thing about having sex with a 12 year old girl in the shower?

<font color="white"> pretending she is a nine year old boy </font>

Whats the best thing about having sex with a 6 year old girl?

This one is almost so bad, and not really that funny, that i didnt post it, but, hey, this is OOT.

<font color="white">hearing her hips break </font>

peace

john nickle

[Ianco15]

I never heard the 6 year old girl one before. That was very funny, but I think most people will not enjoy it as much as I do.

[Beerfund]

What's better than fukcing an 11 year old Vietnamese boy in the a ss until his back breaks?

<font color="white">Nothing. </font>

[Piz0wn0reD!!!!!!]

yeah, that last one is just very diturbing.

[istewart]

lmao

[GrekeHaus]

What's the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of dead babies?

<font color="white">You can't unload the bowling balls with a pitchfork.</font>

[The Truth]

whats the difference in a pizza and a baby?
A pizza doesnt screan when you put it in the oven.

I think this might have been a jewish joke.... dont remember.

[istewart]

That is completely a Jewish joke. You screwed it up dude /images/graemlins/frown.gif

Why do Pakis carry [censored] in their wallets?

<font color="white"> For ID. </font>

[PhatTBoll]

Why do you put a baby in the blender feet-first?

<font color="white"> So you can see the expression on its face. </font>

[MelchyBeau]

Big Steve your icon is perfect for your post

Melch

[Beerfund]

What's funnier than a dead baby?

<font color="white"> A dead baby in a clown costume! </font>

How do you make a dead baby float?

<font color="white">Take your foot off of it's head </font>

How do you get 100 babies into a bucket?

<font color="white"> With a blender! </font>

How do you get them out again?

<font color="white">With tortilla chips!!! </font>

[Lazymeatball]

they are neither, most dead baby jokes are only kind of meh. it keeps getting harder to shock and appaul me over the internet.

[DMBFan23]

the answer I've always heard for the second of these jokes is "wiping the blood on her teddy bear"

[Tron]

[ QUOTE ]
the answer I've always heard for the second of these jokes is "wiping the blood on her teddy bear"

[/ QUOTE ]

Wrong, that's the answer for "How do you make a 6 year old cry twice?"

[GrekeHaus]

What do you get when you stick a knife up an 8-year-old's butt?

<font color="white">I don't know about you, but I get an erection.</font>

[PoBoy321]

What's the best part of [censored] twenty four year olds?

<font color="white"> There's 20 of them. </font>

What's better than [censored] a 16 year old girl?

<font color="white"> [censored] 2 eight year olds </font>

What's better than [censored] 2 eight year olds?

<font color="white"> [censored] 4 four year olds.</font>

What's better than [censored] four 4 year olds?

<font color="white"> Absolutely nothing </font>

[jakethebake]

why si it hard to cross a field of fdead babies barefoot?
- your toes get caught in the eyesockets.

what's worse than a truckload of dead babies?
- a truckload of dead babies with a live one on the bottom eating his way out.

[Ulysses]

Funny.

[AEKDBet]

What do you get when you cut a dead baby with a straight razor?

<font color="white">an erection </font>

How do you stop a baby falling down a manhole?
<font color="white"> Stick a javelin through it's head. </font>

What's the difference between a dead baby and a felt tip marker?
<font color="white">You don't get second looks when you're writing with a felt tip marker. </font>

What's funnier than a dead baby?
<font color="white">A dead baby sitting next to a kid with down syndrome. </font>

long one
____
A woman has been trying to have a baby forever, but with no luck. Finally one day she gets pregnant and 9 months later she goes into labor. They rush her off to the hosiptal, during the labor she does all the breathing exersises and everything shes been told to do. Her excitment over finally having a child isnt even dulled by the excruciating pain.

Finally the doc tells her to push and out comes the baby. The doctor looks at the baby and then suddenly drop kicks it. The baby flips through the air, slaps against the wall and then lands on the floor with a thud.

The lady goes histarical. "my baby!!!! you killed my baby!!!" she screams and cries. The doctor looks at her and after a moment says "April fools! it was already dead"


(I think they are hilarious)

[Spladle Master]

What's the difference between a dead baby and a trampoline?
When you jump on a trampoline, you take your boots off.

What's blue and flies around the room at high speeds?
A baby with a punctured lung.

What do you call a baby with no arms and no legs in the middle of the ocean?
[censored].

What do you call a dead baby with no arms and no legs hanging on your wall?
Art.

What's blue and thrashes about on the floor?
A baby playing in a plastic bag.

How many babies does it take to paint a house?
Depends how hard you throw them.

What's purple, covered in pus and squeals?
A peeled baby in a bag of salt.

What's the difference between a bucket of gravel and a bucket of baby guts?
You can't gargle gravel.

What gets louder as it gets smaller?
A baby in a trash compactor.

What's the difference between a Dead Baby and a tree?
Only one is legal to hit with an axe.

What do you get when you have sex with a pregnant woman?
A baby with a black eye.

How many dead babies does it take to change a tire?
Two. One to prop up the car and one to replace it in case it explodes.

What's white and red and hangs from a telephone wire?
A baby shot through a snowblower.

How do you dislocate a dead baby's jaw?
Deep Throat.

What's more fun than strapping a baby to a clothesline and then spinning it around at 200 mph?
Stopping it with a shovel.

What do a baby and a Pinto have in common?
They're fun to ride until they die.

What's blue and bloated and floating in your beer?
A dead baby with fetal alcohol syndrome.

What is better than a dead baby?
The revoked child-support.

What's the difference between a dead baby and a peanut butter cup?
The dead baby won't stick to the roof of your mouth.

What's red and goes round and round?
A baby in a garbage disposal.

What's more fun than stapling babies to a wall?
Ripping them off again.

Why didn't they crucify baby Jesus?
Good question.

Why do you unload a truck full of babies with a pitchfork?
So you can tell which ones are still alive.

How do you stop a baby from choking?
Take your dick out of its mouth.

What's the difference between a dead baby and my girlfriend?
I don't kiss my girlfriend after sex.

What's the difference between a dead baby and a golden delicious apple?
You don't have to bleed the golden delicious apple before you take a bite out of it.

What's present do you get for a dead baby?
A dead puppy.

How many dead babies does it take to make a bottle of baby oil?
It depends on how hard you squeeze them.

What's the difference between a baby and a grandmother?
Grandmothers don't die when you [censored] them up the ass.

What's worse than a having sex with a dead baby?
Having sex with a dead baby filled with razor blades.

What's worse than a dead baby in a trashcan lid?
A trashcan lid in a dead baby.

What do you call a dead baby with no arms and no legs laying on a beach?
Sandy.

Why did the baby fall off the swing?
Because it had no arms or legs.

What's worse than finding a dead baby on your pillow in the morning?
Realizing you were drunk and made love to it the night before.

Why did the dead baby cross the road?
It was chained to a bumper

How many dead babies can fit in a barrel?
4 1/2.

What is pink and red and sits in a corner?
A baby chewing on razor blades.

What is green and sits in a corner?
The same baby, six weeks later.

What's the best thing about a Siamese twin baby?
Threesomes.

What goes plop, plop, fizz, fizz?
Twins in an acid bath.

What's the difference between a watermelon and a dead baby?
A watermelon floats.

What's red and lies in all four corners of the room?
A baby that's been playing with a chainsaw.

What does a blind, deaf, quadriplegic baby can get for Christmas ?
Cancer.

What is the definition of revenge?
A baby with a dog in its mouth.

How are babies and the elderly alike?
Both are fun to throw out of moving cars.

What bounces up and down at 100mph?
A baby tied to the back of a truck.

What is so special about a dead baby?
You can achieve deep throat from whichever orifice you enter.

What's red and dances all around?
A baby on a barbecue.

How do you prepare a dead baby for Valentine's Day?
You shove a box of chocolates down his throat and a
bouquet of roses up his ass.

What's white and bobs up and down in a baby's crib?
A pedophile's ass.

What's worse than smoking pot with a baby?
Making a bong out of it.

What's the safest way to play with a baby ?
With a condom.

What's the difference between a dead baby and a Styrofoam cup?
A dead baby doesn't harm the atmosphere when you burn it.

What's the difference between a lamp and a dead baby?
It's really easy to turn on a lamp.

What's small, and red, and full of holes?
A baby on a bed of nails.

What do you call a baby on a stick?
A Kebabie.

How do you get a baby out of a tree?
You give a Mexican a stick and tell him it's a piñata.

What's the difference between a baby and a bagel?
You can put a bagel in the toaster. You have to put the baby in the oven.

What do you call a 30week-old preemie?
An Appetizer.

How do you prevent a baby from exploding in the microwave?
Poke holes in it with a coat hanger.

Why do babies have a soft spot in their heads?
So you can pick them up five at a time.

What's got four wheels, smokes and squeals?
A bus load of babies on fire.

What's pink and red and silver and crawls into walls?
A baby with forks in its eyes.

What wiggles and spits and is covered in [censored]?
An inside out baby.

What's pink and chunky?
A baby with leprosy.

What's red, bubbly, and scratches at the window before exploding?
A baby in a microwave.

Why is there always hot water at childbirth?
In case of a stillbirth, soup.

What happens when you burn baby's face off?
It makes weird noises and crawls into walls.

What's harder to do than nailing a baby to a tree?
Nailing it to a dead puppy.

What's 18 inches long and makes women scream all night ?
Crib death.

Why did the baby cross the road?
It was stapled to the chicken.

How do you get a baby to run faster?
Chase it with the lawn mower.

What's the difference between a dead baby and an onion.
You don't cry when you chop up a dead baby.

How do you make a baby cry twice?
Wipe your bloody cock on its teddy bear.

What's the best sound in the world?
A baby's hips cracking under pressure.

What's more fun than a barrel of dead babies?
Sticking pins in their eyes.

What's blue and orange and lies at the bottom of a swimming pool?
A baby with burst armbands.

If a tree falls on a baby in the forest, and no one is
around to hear it, is it still hilarious?
(Rhetorical)

What sits in the kitchen and keeps getting smaller and smaller?
A baby combing it's hair with a potato peeler!

What is the differance between a dead baby and a VHS tape?
The VHS tape doesn't stink when you leave it out in the sun.

What's sicker than driving over a baby?
Skidding.

What do you call a dead baby with its skin peeled off?
Sexy.

How do you spoil a baby?
Leave it out in the sun.

Why did the toddler drop it's lollipop?
It was hit by a truck.

What's the difference between a dead baby and a table?
You can't [censored] a table.

What's bright blue, pink, and sizzles?
A baby trying to breast feed from an electrical outlet.

End of thread.

[The Truth]

you... you.... either disgust me or crack me up, still tryin to decide

[bball233]

What's the difference between a dead baby and a rock?


You can't f*ck a rock.

[Spladle Master]

[ QUOTE ]
What's the difference between a dead baby and a rock?


You can't f*ck a rock.

[/ QUOTE ]

The thread is over.